


Super Smash Bros Odyssey Book 5: Ultimate

by SmashBrosOdyssey



Series: Smash Bros Odyssey [1]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover Pairings, Ensemble Cast, Everyone is Here! (SSB), Humor, Multi, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Tournaments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 162,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25593493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmashBrosOdyssey/pseuds/SmashBrosOdyssey
Summary: The fifth tournament is underway! Behind the scenes however, Conker the Squirrel has acquired the missing Smash Core and is assembling an inter-dimensional army of villains in a decade-overdue power play to dominate the universe. Who will win the tournament? What havoc will the villains wreak? How will Mario, who is now tasked with leading the Smashers, respond?
Relationships: Krystal/Fox McCloud, Lucina/My Unit | Reflet | Robin, Mario/Peach Toadstool, Palutena/Pit (Kid Icarus), Princess Daisy/Luigi, Princess Rosalina/Original Character(s), Samus Aran/Bayonetta (Bayonetta), Terry Bogard/Corrin, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Series: Smash Bros Odyssey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855015
Comments: 31
Kudos: 25





	1. Origins: King K. Rool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Smash Core is found, King K. Rool attends a summit, and let's the world know where he and the Kremlings stand!

**Origins: King. K Rool**

_A message from the Red Squirrel Kingdom sire, they are in possession of The Smash Core. And they’ve summoned us._

King Karnivorous Rool, ruler of the Kremlings played that moment over and over again in his head

 _Has it truly come to that_ thought the monarch.

Sharing the same world as The Kremlings, The Kongs, The Mushroom Kingdom, Yoshi Island, the northern Snowmad tribe, among others, The Red Squirrel Kingdom, named that for the king who took it over in a violent coup, Conker had kept a relatively low profile. The coup had taken place nearly a decade ago, around the same time K. Rool attempted to blow up Kong Island with the Blast-o-Matic Since then, the Kremlings had kept a relatively low profile, relying mostly upon spy networks to determine the exact time a violent resurgence was appropriate. All the reports on Conker the Red Squirrel had said more or less the same thing. Something had happened during the course of the coup that had changed Conker from a happy-go-lucky sort, how he was when he first appeared on anyone’s radar as a friend of Diddy Kong’s, to a morose, cynical sort, to the point even Diddy Kong, once a treasured friend, could not break through to him. However, as he was not violating the rights of his people or being disrespectful of any treaties, he was of no concern to anyone.

But, K.Rool thought, that might have changed now, for the absolute worse

“Sire, we’re here, the ambassador awaits.” Krunch, one of K.Rool’s most trusted spies, and someone who had had dealings with Conker before, announced

“Good. Krunch, form up on me. The rest of you, two in front, two behind.”

A simultaneous salute followed, and crunch, as well as four Kremlings carrying muskets at their sides, formed up on the portly dictator as they exited the landing craft. The ambassador, as it turned out, was a turtle, who beamed at the sight of them,

“Ah! Krunch, welcome to our humble kingdom!” he said in an overly jovial tone

“Tiptup? You’re the ambassador?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be buddy? Other than you, Diddy and Banjo, we all ended up in the high court somewhere after Conker took over. The greatest thing that happened to any of us I’ll say!”

Krunch silently nodded, “This is his Royal Nastiness of the Kremling tribe, King Karnivorus Rool. The bodyguards are simply a precaution. You understand don’t you Tiptup?”

Tiptup cast his sights at the ground briefly before snapping back to attention, “Yeah buddy, totally!”

As Tiptup lead the entourage through the wooded path to the castle, King K Rool didn’t like what he had seen already. Using someone a high ranking Kremling had had interactions with in the past as the greeter wasn’t an accident. Plus, the overly friendly attitude was likely one presented to butter up and soften him into trusting whatever deal was to take place. K.Rool took this as a personal insult. He had been a ruler for decades now. He knew to trust his fellow ruler only when it was beneficial, no more no less.

Finally, after what seemed like half an hour, they arrived at the dank looking castle. No doubt a holdover from the previous coup, but intimidating nonetheless.”

“The throne room is just a bit of a walk from here! Thanks for being patient Mr. Rool.”

King K. Rool went to say something, but Krush, knowing that now wasn’t the time for any outburst, put a hand on his king’s shoulder. Rool nodded to him as they walked through the castle. The castle’s interior was mostly dark. The only torch lights seemed to coincide with paintings of Conker and a rather buxom, fit grey squirrel, seductively splayed across Conker in all the paintings in workout clothes that barely covered anything.

It was then that Krunch whispered something into Rool’s ear, “His dead girlfriend.”

The king scanned the paintings one last time before they went to the throne room. Conker’s eyes were a dead, angry stare out into the world

It dawned on him These were recent.

The doors to the throne room swung open, and immediately, Krunch pulled K.Rool backward, and the front-most bodyguards took aim. Finally, after he regained his bearings, the king saw the commotion. Sitting at one throne was Conker, draped in the cape of the deceased Panther King, while the white squirrel from the paintings was in another throne, also draped in similar garb. Standing next to Conker was a ghastly, portly green woman in a witches outfit, sneering at the new guests. Standing next to the female squirrel was a tall pig creature in a black cape.

“Wizpig? Gruntilda? What trickery is this?” demanded The King

“Ah ah ah. Lower your weapons boys, they’re an important piece of this shindig.” Conker slurred

Rool took note. His voice was cool, calm, collected. Almost _too_ cool.  
_This is the tone you want? Fine, I don’t want a skirmish here,_ thought the crocodile king

The Crocodile King motioned for the Kremlings to lower their weapons, and so they did

“Your attendance is your pleasure. For your allegiance shall be measured.” Gruntilda cackled

“What does she mean Conker?” asked the King of Kremlings.

Conker motioned for an attendant to come forward. The squirrel did, with a metal briefcase

“Ya see Rooly Boy, this lovely lady to my right is my squeeze, Berri. Until a week ago, she was dead. How did I get ‘er back you ask? With the marvelous doohickey in this here briefcase.”

“The Smash Core I take it?”

“Yessiree!” Conker squeaked, pausing to burp, “That’s how I got these magic mothas back too. "  
  
"Where did you find it?" demanded K. Rool.  
"It landed right in fronta my castle, as if it was meant to be. I've been hiding it fer years, and now's the time to use it. Nobody suspects ole Conker."  


King K. Rool's eyes narrowed. Suspicious circumstances, all that benefit someone too stupid to question them.  
"What is your aim then?"  
Conker gave a bewildered chuckle, "What else? Rule the world right? Yer just one of the many. See, there’ll people all over this damn universe who wanna better the world, but have made mistakes along the way.. I know you’ve made quite a few K.Rool. And why? Because you want a plentiful land for your Kremling subjects. We can rewrite anything, everything, undo any mistakes. And wipe away heroes who stand in our way. Not just here, but anywhere. _Everywhere_. "

Silence hung in the air, Then….

“ You speak truths. However, I need to think about it.”

“Pal, this is a golden opportunity yer missin…”

“I don’t consider this a missed opportunity. I consider this a plan that has the potential to go toxic, and quickly”

Conker growled “The thing with toxicity buddy, is that some people have the antidote for this kinda shit, some don’t. Show me which one you are ” snarled Conker. Berri shifted in her seat and smiled impishly

“Similarly” The King of Kremlings began, “ Show you’re competent enough to hold such a power and attain such leadership, and perhaps I will be on board”

“You know what? You’re playing it safe. You’re a good ruler kid.”

“Kid?” asked Krunch, “This is the Royal Highness of….”

“Nah nah, Krunch is it? I’m just funning around. Know what else is gonna be fun? Getting the team together. Any heavy hitter with a motive of taking over’s gonna be in. Make sure you’re on the right side of this m’friend.”

Silence hung in the air, but King K. Rool broke it.

“This meeting is what I considered adjourned. I’ll be watching very closely” K.Rool warned, as his entourage took to leave. K.Rool noticed that Conker and Berri didn’t even wait for them to leave before they began to make out, Berri having climbed into Conker’s throne. K.Rool pondered this as the door shut behind them  
  


**Back at the submarine**

The walk from the Red Squirrel Kingdom’s shores, to the carrier boat, back to the Kremlings' enormous submarine vessel had been the most frightening of King K. Rool’s life. For as long as he had ruled the tribe, his goal had been to capture the Kong Island’s bananas, the offerings from the goddess of the Rare Archipelago, that had allowed the Kongs to rise to power so that the Kremlings could wield it instead. Conker had spoken to his primal heart, but his manner had sparked a rare reflective thought in the king’s head. All of his attempts had gotten them trapped aboard a submarine, with only the manufactured air sustaining them. To forfeit leadership to someone as unpredictable as Conker could end with the end of the Kremlings all together if he wasn’t careful. He turned to Krunch. Maybe his subordinate felt it too. 

“So Krunch, what did you glean from that?” asked The King of Kremlings

“Well, the reports are right, he’s definitely changed since I knew him. But he’s a little man with a big gun. Desperate to prove he’s going to be the perfect, most powerful ruler.”

“Indeed. When we’re able, set a course for Kong Island. We need to have a conversation with someone.”

Krunch’s eyes went wide, “Really? Them? What kind of conversation?”

“We need to investigate potential amnesty with the Super Smash Brothers. The Kongs are aligned with them, and they have a protection network unlike any other if our man in the Mushroom Kingdom reports on Princess’ Peach’s alignment with them are any indication.”

“But sir, aligning with the Kongs? They’re your sworn…”

“Silence!” the king roared, breathing deeply to calm himself, “ Yes. I see a lot of the same flaws in Conker’s plan that a decade of hindsight has shown me about the Blast-o-Matic idea years ago. Going up against the status quo isn’t productive. The Red Squirrel is a novice, he hasn’t made a power play before. He is a giddy pirate, cultivating his forces to take on the biggest croc in the swamp, and as he will soon learn, it will go poorly. I would rather be on the right side of history”.

The Kremling Commander turned to a subordinate managing the communication equipment.

“You! Tell our man’s in the Red Squirrel Kingdom to dig up any information you can about Conker’s Smash Core plans, and to prepare for extraction afterward .”

“Aye aye, sir.”

Krunch turned to his king again, “Pull the spy? Are you sure that’s wise? It’s like leavin’ a big neon sign that says Conker we’re betraying him?”

King K. Rool guffawed, “And what will he do? Break down the door of a peacekeeping task force with interdimensional, magical technology so powerful its power source doesn’t even need to be present.”

Krunch pondered the matter with a dramatic, thoughtful grunt, before snapping to attention, “Aye aye sir!”

King K. Rool broke into a sinister smile, “Very well. Forward ho then!”

**At Kong Island several hours later  
  
**

The sun had just set over Kong Island. In the house of Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, a Smash Brothers commercial had just aired. Donkey Kong had turned off the TV so the two could make their evening meal when suddenly Diddy spoke up.

“Didya hear that DK? That clang?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a submarine, like a vessel door opening. I think we have visitors.”

Several pairs of heavy feet stomped towards the house, then a familiar voice rang out, “Donkey Kong!”

“IT’S HIM!” screeched Diddy as he and DK immediately bolted out the door, Diddy loading his peanut gun as he went

Sure enough, the King of Kremlings was standing right there, along with several soldiers,

“Before we engage in combat, take control of the limited ability you have to process what I’m saying! The Red Squirrel Kingdom has the Smash Core.”

This stopped the Kongs right in their tracks.

“I was just summoned to their castle earlier in the day, and I believe he has intentions to build an army of multiple dimensions to take over ours. I believe this might be a job for the Smash Brothers, and I believe I can be of assistance”

“Okay” Donkey Kong huffed, “We’ll call the Smashers. But if you’re out of line for even a second, you’ll get pummeled by me”

“I would expect nothing less.”

Suddenly, a Kremling from the submarine came running back.

“SIRE! Our eyes in the Red Squirrel Kingdom reported back. Conker’s already been shopping around, clearly has some ideas of who he’s going to recruit and how”

“Excellent. Have him report Kong Island immediately,” he said, turning to the Kongs, “And I expect we can leave for the Smashverse then?”

“Yeah.” grunted an unimpressed DK.

“Don’t worry DK, I’ve got the portal generator right here!” Diddy squeaked, punching in the coordinates necessary.

**Later**

Night had fallen, and K.Rool, the spy, and his entourage headed through the portal. It was day wherever they were, and they stood in the middle of a garden. Built into the wall of the garden were places for ornately drawn banners of Smashers past and present. K.Rool noticed a banner dedicated to him, but before he could open his mouth, a computerized voice spoke out.

“Shulk anticipated your coming, and Mewtwo ascertained why.”

The owner of the voice was a rustic white robot, who K.Rool recognized immediately.

“Ah. You must be ROB the Robot. Your story, being the nomadic last of your kind is a story that has resonated with my people.”

“I appreciate that very much” the voice, belonging to ROB, spoke out.

A brown hunting dog with an oddly colored bird on its back scampered up to where they were.

“Well, howdy stranger! My name’s Otis, and my buddy here’s named Mikey. We’ll take the sneaky one with the computer doohickey to our archives room so we can get git started” said the cheery dog.

As the dog and the spy went off in a different direction, ROB spoke “Facial analysis indicates confusion, your highness. We had already begun to begin recruitment for the tournament, however, your revelation means our recruitment plans must change. Using what we will eventually learn, we will base our recruitment around this.”

“Ah. I see,”  
“For now, I will show you to where you will be living for the duration. The Smashverse, where we reside, exists out of what you perceive to be time-space, so we will drop you off at the exact moment you left when our business is concluded. The tournament will begin as soon as everyone is recruited. Our veterans have already begun recruiting.”

K.Rool breathed in as he and his entourage moved forward into the unknown. The air was robustly clean, and not stinging with salt water as he was used to. As the relaxing ethos of this new world took him over, K.Rool wondered what was in store, and most of all, if he had made the correct choice.  
  


  
  



	2. Origins, Daisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Daisy's birthday, and her beau Luigi has a present for her!

**Origins: Daisy  
  
  
**

It was a peaceful day in Sarasaland Castle. But it wasn’t just any day, it was the birthday of the ruler of the kingdom Princess Daisy. Unlike her life long friend, Princess Peach of the neighboring Mushroom Kingdom, who preferred grandiose celebrations of special occasions, Daisy enjoyed intimate, low key gatherings with people she cared about.

Daisy sat in a comfy recliner in the main entertainment room of her castle, already dressed in her classic yellow tank top and shorts. She was dressed for the activity of the day, the thing she looked forward to above all the other birthday activities, playing tennis with the man in her life, Luigi.

The brunette princess sighed dreamily as she pondered on their relationship thus far. It had begun when Mario saved her kingdom from the lovesick alien Tatanga. The two quickly became fast friends, as Mario was equally extroverted and athletic. It also helped that Daisy had already known of Mario from years before, as Peach had made sure to mention him in letters to her.

But, on one of their outings, a round of golf on Peach’s backyard golf course, she met him. Luigi was quiet and introverted, a stark contrast from the other three. He also seemed to be lost in thought a lot of the time, loafing behind the crew. But, it was when Daisy’s golf ball was accidentally hit into a tree that Luigi nonchalantly jumped into the highest point of the tree, retrieving the golf ball, she thanked him. Daisy had been waiting for an opportunity to strike up a conversation with the introverted, taller brother, but that was the opportunity she needed. She had banked on general pleasantries not being the key to get the lankier brother talking, and she was right. Luigi was a lot like Mario, intelligent, athletic, kind, but leagues less flamboyant, much more careful and calculating. And honestly, Daisy loved it. Could Luigi golf and play tennis? Sure! But was he down with a quiet night in discussing books they’d read? Yes. And while Mario was kind and gentle in the basic sense, Luigi was amazingly in tune with other people’s emotions. She could write a novel about all the times she’d been in a bad mood, and Luigi had tried to make the situation better without so much as a word from her, succeeding more often than not.

Daisy was also sympathetic to Luigi’s feeling of being isolated in activities. For example, Daisy watched Luigi, Mario, eventually even Peach and Bowser, in the Smash Brothers tournament. And while she very much enjoyed hosting large viewing parties around Sarasaland’s Four Kingdoms so that everyone could partake, she so longed to be a fighter, to show that she was just as tough as her friends.

Suddenly, a gong rang out. Someone was at the door. Luckily, the main door was only a quick stride from the entertainment room. With the assistance of a younger Toad, the blue spotted captain of Sarasaland’s royal guard, Buckenberry, swung the mighty doors open to reveal the inviting, warm face of Luigi. Decked out for tennis too it seemed, in a white visor, green polo, beige shorts, and black sneakers. His arms, however, were tucked neatly behind his back, as if he was hiding something.

“H-happy birthday Daisy.” greeted Luigi.

Daisy couldn’t help but blush. Luigi had once confided in her that he was often awestruck by her beauty that he stuttered.

“Why thanks! What’s that behind your back?”

“Well, it’s your present.”

Daisy grinned, “Present? Babe, I said no gifts! Seeing you in that polo is enough. Me-yow!” Daisy joked, doing the “cat’s claw” hand gesture

Now it was Luigi’s turn to blush.

“This one is….pretty important”

“Now I’m intrigued! Show me the goods baby bear!”  
“TADA” Luigi produced the object from behind his back, an envelope with a red center and a familiar crest.

Daisy’s heart skipped a beat, “Dude….” was all she could muster.

Luigi smiled coyly. The Princess of Sarasaland caught her ebbing breath, shrieking “No way!”

“Open it, babe, what does it say?” Luigi asked with a playful wink.

Snatching the letter and tearing it open, Daisy read it aloud

“Dearest Daisy of Sarasaland, we hereby invite you to join the Super Smash Brothers Tournament. Your recruiter, Luigi Mario will accompany you to the Smashverse at the beginning of next week when perpetrations can begin. We look forward to seeing you.”

There was a pause. Daisy felt the tears in her eyes well up, and her chest tighten

“Baby, you know I’ve always wanted to be a Smasher,”

“Yeah, I know! And I know what you’re thinking….”

There it was. Luigi could read her like a book. By the stars, she loved that man.

“Your name came up in the selection process all on its own.”

Daisy smiled, “So Peach wasn’t throwing a fit so loudly that whoever’s in charge relented?”

“You-a know Peach doesn’t throw fits. She’s too polite. She just makes passive-aggressive comments.”

Daisy let out an entirely too loud “HA!” She was bursting with emotion.

Before Luigi could process what was happening, Daisy had Luigi in a bearhug and was jumping up and down.

“I’M GONNA BE A SMASHER! I’M GONNA BE A SMASHER!”

This caught the attention of some of the blue toads hustling about the castle, “What? Really?” asked a bewildered younger Toad.

“YES! BUCK, SPREAD THE WORD THROUGHOUT THE LAND! WOOOOOOO!”

“Of course Your Highness!” said Buckenberry, saluting and shuffling off to complete his task

Despite this being Buckenberry’s task, the castle then erupted into chaos with every other Toad shouting about it excitedly to the leagues of servants that weren’t in the vicinity

“Uh, honey? Think we might wanna get away from this hubbub?” Luigi asked, still ensnared in the bearhug of his girlfriend.

Suddenly, Daisy realized what she was doing, letting Luigi go, as the green-clad man finally caught his breath

“Oh yeah. Tennis and then a picnic dinner?”

“Sounds wonderful to a-me.”

**Several hours later  
  
**

It was now close to 10 PM in Sarsaland. Daisy and Luigi had played a relatively robust series of tennis matches (Daisy had won all of them, presumably fueled with the vigor of the news early today) and had a picnic dinner brought to them later. Now, it was time for bed. Luigi had just been invited to bed by Daisy, who was wearing a form-fitting, orange silk night top, her bedtime motives clear. However, the wrist communicator on Luigi’s wrist began to beep, Luigi pressed the accept button. It was Shulk. Luigi had nodded in agreement to Daisy, who headed to bed.

“Hey, Shulk, what’s up?” Luigi asked.

“I know you said you wanted us to leave you alone with your girl for a few days, but something important just came up. We received info that may or may not result in a Tabbu level threat.”

Luigi felt the blood drain out of his face, “The Smash Core? Who has it?”

“Conker the Squirrel. And we have evidence to suggest he’s rallying up some pretty high-level villains.”

“Anyone on our side?”

“Nah. Everyone who got screwed over by Tabuu the first time is firmly against him.”

“Good. Who’s it-a you got me recruiting?”

“I’ll brief ya when you get to the Smashverse. I’ve already got your Poultergust ready to go”

“Hey, Shulk?”

“Yeah, Luigi?”

“Can this wait until tomorrow morning? If this is so high level I don’t want to worry Daisy, wanna get it done before she even wakes up for breakfast tomorrow”

Shulk’s image disappeared, possibly to confer with ROB.

“Granted,” said the image of Shulk as it popped back into view, “Have fun, but be ready to go to work tomorrow.”

“M’kay. Bright and early tomorrow m’friend” Luigi said as he turned off the device, scuttling to the bedroom

Luigi’s heart nearly skipped a beat when he entered the bedroom. He and Daisy had made love before, but it always struck him how beautiful and tone she was when she wanted to show it off

“Hey lovebug, what was that all about?”

Luigi shrugged as nonchalantly as he could, “Just gotta pull off some ghost busting first thing tomorrow. But you know how Smash time works, I’ll be back before you wake up”

Daisy grinned, “Hey, at least we can enjoy tonight” Daisy purred as she kissed Luigi on the lips

Luigi was hellbent on enjoying his night with his girlfriend, completely unaware of what beheld him the next day.  
  



	3. Origins: The Belmonts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luigi heads to Transylvania to intercept a certain vampire hunter. Meanwhile, Link does some time traveling of his own.

**Smash Origins: The Belmonts**

**Transylvania: 1692**

“I still don’t understand why I had to be the one to go on this-a damn mission” whined Luigi into his wrist communicator as he trudged through the muddy cobblestone up to the castle.

The ghostbuster was in a foul mood. He had only been in the realm for a few minutes, and his inquiries about Dracula’s Castle had been greeted with hostility. Not to mention have to lug the Poultergust in the pouring rain.

“Because you’re the only one of us with practical paranormal experience. Plus we need to get a bead on this Dracula fellow as well as our man, evaluate their power levels first hand and that,” explained Shulk, the blond-haired young man on the other end.

Luigi sighed, “Alright-a.”

Suddenly, a blast of stink hit him. The stench of death. While the last stretch of civilization wasn’t exactly littered with corpses, _something_ had died here, if not many. Glancing at his radar his communicator allowed him, it showed him in a barren nothingness, when moments earlier it had shown the path to the castle.

“Hey Shulk, The Smash tech is acting glitchy. I think whatever voodoo is surrounding this place is interfering with it. so I’m going to cut it until the mission is complete.”

“Okay. Should Link’s recruitment go to plan, you should have some backup in relatively short order Best of luck Luigi” Shulk said as Luigi turned the communicator off

Luigi had been so distracted by the death stink he hadn’t bothered to look ahead/ When he did, he saw it in the distance. Guarded by a rusty gate, a mighty, otherworldly looking castle stood before him. From what he’d actually been able to gather from the rightfully perturbed Transylvanians he’d encountered, for centuries this place had appeared again and again in this exact spot. Its appearance was the signal to the people that the castle’s seemingly immortal owner, Dracula had once again reappeared. And, there was always a Belmont to crash the proceedings.

Had Luigi had his way, he would’ve waited for this “Belmont” character to show up and then gone in. But, as Shulk had said, they needed to draw out Dracula.

Luigi scaled the fence relatively easily, opening the door, and armed with just a flashlight, opened the enormous doors to the castle.

“Dracula,” called Luigi, “I-I request an audience with the one named Dracula”

Throughout the castle’s eerie foyer, several sources of ghoulish, uproarious laughter echoed from the darkness

“Your voice cracks Luigi Mario. I am not entirely sure you understand what you’re asking.” a haunting, posh voice echoed.

“H-h-how do you know my name?” Luigi asked.

“I am a man who has existed through many lifetimes, and been to the abyss that signals the end of life for mortals, I know all. For instance, I know of your Smash Brotherhood, and I know of your willingness to recruit Simon, the newest Belmont toad, into it. I will not allow that to happen. Or you to leave at all. You will make a suitable exercise for my minions and nothing more. SEIZE HIM!” the voice, who Luigi had ascertained was Dracula himself, commanded

An Egyptian mummy was the first to step forward. Luigi, out of habit, tried to shine his flashlight on it, but to no avail. Using the Poltiergust 5000 strapped to his back, he shot a plunger at the undead behemoth. Even more useless. Luigi took a deep breath and charged towards the mummy, baseball sliding directly into its ankle bone. It knocked the monster down, but it grabbed Luigi’s ankle. The cold, rotting flesh immediately caused the nerves on Luigi’s leg to fire, and Luigi to let out a yelping scream. Barely being able to kick away from the mummy, he got to his feet and bolted deeper into the castle.

_Always head for light always head for light_ a panicked Luigi reminded himself

Thankfully, Luigi saw the next room, a hallway bathed in a foreboding pink light. Luigi ran down the hall, only stopping when he noticed a blood-red light add itself to the scenery. Turning towards it slowly, he took in the source. A statue was glaring directly at him. Suddenly, snakes sprouted from ahead. Luigi screamed in terror, as the castle crumbled slightly around him. Suddenly, as he ran into a windowless part of the hallway, he felt a cold foreboding surrounding him. He looked up, and saw Death himself, standing before him, scythe at the ready, his eyes glowing with a hellish blue flame. Luigi let out one last cry of terror before he lost consciousness.

Simon Belmont had been silently trailing behind the green-clad man for quite some time. He had briefly seen the odd man in town while on his own journey to Dracula’s Castle. He figured an odd man with an odd weapon could only be seeking to end Dracula as well. While he usually abhorred the cowardly cunning of a thief, he didn’t want to startle the man and have a weapon beyond his understanding drawn on him. Now that they were in the castle, the man was drawing the enemies’ attention. Regardless of his own beliefs, it only benefited him to move as deep into the castle as he could undetected. He saw the small, green-clad man collapse. As much as his impulses screamed out that now was the time to attack, he waited In his childhood, he had been coaxed to bed with stories of Death’s sheer power, unyielding murderous intent, and how he attacked like a vulture, only on prey that was weak and vulnerable. He had to catch the beast when he was concentrating on ending the green-clad man. Sure enough, Death conjured a blue flame, with the intent of dumping it onto the man’s prone body. Simon chose this opportunity to strike with his whip, the Vampire Killer. It connected across Death’s grisly cheek. The reaper charged forward with a pained howl, but Simon quickly tossed a cross at Death, knocking him back, and causing him to drop his scythe.

“Death, this is pathetic. Away with you, now.” rang the voice of Dracula.

Simon snarled. The man who he had been trained to hate since birth had appeared right in front of him through a veil of black, noxious smoke, dressed just as his parents had described him, Long, gray hair, red dress shirt, flowing black cape.

Simon whipped Dracula without hesitation, following that up with a volley of axes.

“Hm,” Dracula snarled, rubbing a scratch on his cheek, “You Belmonts get weaker all the time.”

“That was just a taste you fiend,” growled Simon.

“I do not have the time to pitter about. Give your family’s pathetic legacy meaning. GIVE ME YOUR ALL! COME AT ME!” roared Dracula.

Simon leaped into the air, with the intended goal being to bring his whip upon Dracula from the air. However, Dracula summoned three pillars of fire. Instinctually, Simon left-back, driven to his knees by the sudden shock of fire, and the burning of his boot.

“You Belmonts are all the same. You holler the same quips, use the same techniques, century after century” Dracula mused as a roaring fireball conjured into the air growing larger and larger with each second, “It used to bring me some much-needed enjoyment. But I tire now, and I will eliminate you.”  
The fireball had grown to a titanic size. In all the diaries of the Belmont hold, nothing had ever alluded to Dracula using this much force before. Simon readied his body, hoping putting some distance between the green man’s prone body would somehow protect the downed man, and silently prayed for a miracle.

**Transylvania, 1797**

Link’s ears twitched as the boiling chicken roast crackled on the fireplace behind them. His eyes, however, were focused on the young man in front of him. Richter Belmont either had an unbelievable poker face or was completely unphased by what Link had just explained.

“So, what you’re saying is, you want me to join a peacekeeping order, that bands together heroes from all of time, which includes a long-dead member of my family?”

“Yes. Our research indicates yourself and Simon have scored the most meaningful victories against Dracula historically and we n….”  
“Say no more. I’m in.”

Link cracked a grin at that. He respected the young man’s zeal.

Link punched some coordinates onto the screen of his watch  
“Well Richter Belmont, I hope you enjoy getting your feet wet right away because Simon and another colleague of mine are in need of some assistance.”

**Transylvania, 1692**

Something was blocking the fireball between them. Simon felt the hot air as if the flame had been cut in half. This was enough to dissipate the flame, and what stood before him was a dark-haired young man with a blue shirt, armored pants, and a white bandana. Most befuddling was that this man had The Vampire Killer.  
  


“Begone monster, you don’t belong in this world!” cried the mysterious man  
Whipping his version of The Vampire Killer out, then up, Dracula was sliced almost up the chest. The vampire shrieked in pain, obviously just as surprised as Simon.

“This…was not….the plan. Damn you Belmonts and your trickery. You will rue the day you chose to come here, all of you!”  
As Dracula disappeared, the castle began to shake and vibrate.  
“I’ve seen this before Simon. Get the green man through the portal!” Richter commanded

“How do you know my…?”

“There’ll be time for that later. Grab him, follow me!”

Simon nodded, jumping through the portal, the small, green-clad man over his shoulder into who knows what as the castle dissipated behind them...

**Transylvania, 1797**

Simon examined his surroundings. It was a log cabin, and an elven man stood in an offensive stance, but his face betrayed utter shock.

“Well damn, didn’t expect it to be over that quick. Simon, I’m Link, an ally of Luigi’s. Get him on the bed, and we’ll wait for him to wake.”

“You are Link, the fainting man is Luigi, but who is he?” Simon balked confusedly, gesturing to Richter, "He wields a completely unique family heirloom which is…also in my possession,”

“Oh, Richter? For lack of a better explanation, he’s your great-grandson several times over. We’re about a century further in time from where we left.”

“So this plot of Dracula’s is so intense that the fate of all reality is at stake?” Simon gasped.

Link shrugged, “More or less, but it goes deeper than Dracula. Let’s get Luigi to a bed, when he wakes up he’ll explain it.”

Ritcher yanked Luigi off of Simon’s shoulders with ease, “I’ve got him. I suspect we’ll have a lot to talk about in the meantime.”  
  


**Several hours later**

The last thing Luigi remembered was making eyes at the Grim Reaper, and now he could hear…voices?

“Tell me, what was Alucard like?” asked a gruff voice.

“Standoffish, but noble in his pursuits,” said a much cooler, calmer voice. 

“Trevor’s diaries had a bit more colorful an interpretation of him”

A snort of laughter from Mister Cool echoed around the room they were in, “That sounds like Trevor from what Alucard had said. I could very much see how Alucard could come off that way to people, but he really helped me.”

Luigi opened his eyes with a loud groan. The gaze of Link, who he presumed to be Simon, and a completely new face fell on him.

“You doin’ alright Weegee?” said Link, with a mischievous grin.

Normally, Luigi would’ve grumbled something about not calling him Daisy’s pet name for him in front of new recruits, but he simply didn’t have the energy  
“Yeah, Link I’m fine-a. What even happened?”

“You were scared unconscious. Ritcher and I came to you and Simon’s rescue.”

It took everything within him to hide his embarrassed blush as Luigi spoke next, “Ah, so the blue shirt is the other guy Shulk was talking about. How much did you tell ‘em?”

“Bare minimum. But you’re the better pitchman. I made you a glass of water when you’re ready.”

It was at this point Luigi realized he was laying down in a bed, complete with nightstand, and a glass of water on it. Luigi gulped down the water, cleared his throat, and began.,

“So, if you haven’t already guessed, I’m-a Luigi. Link might have told you a little bit about the Smash Order. To the public, we’re a multi-versal combat sports league. But, like you with Dracula, we all have the evil drudges of our homeworlds. Sometimes there’s something that causes such peril we have to team up and deal with it. This is one of those situations, and it might be our biggest task yet. The thing that powers the entire universe in which Smash resides is called the Smash Core. Think of it as the heart of the body that tethers all of our dimensions together. A few years back, it was stolen from its original keeper, a god of creation named Tabuu, when we had to put an end to him. Two of his subordinates, the founders of the Smash Order, thought they could control it. But it ended up consuming them, and the Smash Core disappeared when we tried to destroy it. Until very recently we were trying to find it. One of our new recruits was informed that it was in the hands of a relatively unknown despot named Conker, and, out of some unexplained bitter hatred for the world as it stood, he’s made moves to unit evildoers from across different dimensions and times. We believe that if Dracula and his hordes aren’t already on board, they will be soon.”

“I suspect they already are.” said a suddenly morose Richter, “Dracula did say that it wasn’t in the plan, what we did.”

“There’s also the possibility that he’s intentionally misdirecting us” Simon added, “Dracula wouldn’t give away what he knows.”

“That said,” Link interrupted, “I doubt he knows how much we know. Our informant only recently came to us, and we’re using the information to recruit to our cause before Conker’s forces, whatever they are, mount an offense”

Ritcher groaned “Annette and Maria will be none-to-happy”

“The Smashverse actually exists outside of what you perceive to be space and time. They’ll be at the tournament, and if Conker’s army doesn’t hit this country before we defeat him, they’ll never know there was a problem” added the Hero of Time as he punched in some coordinates into his wristwatch, causing a portal to open, Any questions before we leave?” Link asked

“Aye, I do,” Ritcher said, “You said that our victories against Dracula were historic. What do you mean?”

Link snapped his gaze to Luigi, who was easing himself off the bed.

“Our old leader, Master Hand, who’s…indisposed at the moment, has been-a keeping tabs on most of our new recruits for decades. Our battles are so legendary, they’ve got the gaze of universes beyond our understanding, which is why we’ve been assembled."

“Wow,” breathed Ritcher, “Legendary heroes eh?”  
“Stow it boy,” snarled Simon, “Ego will not help us here.”

“You’re right. Sorry, everyone.”

“So boys, if you would be so kind as to follow me to your new home for the duration .” Link said, gesturing to the portal once again.  
  


Looking at each other, the Belmonts nodded, following Link and Luigi inside the portal.

**Sarsaland, morning**

A portal opened from the Smashverse, and Luigi stepped out of it. He breathed in a sigh of relief as he closed the portal. Daisy’s enormous bedroom, bequeathed entirely in her signature colors of orange and yellow, was a happy place for him. Walking over to the bed, he saw his beloved. Daisy had taken to sprawling out on the king-sized bed in his absence. She was snoring softly, her body covered by the warm, silky comforter, last night’s clothes thrown hastily on the floor from last night’s…activities.

_So early the maids haven’t even come yet. Perfecto._

The eternal understudy smiled softly, sitting on the bed, running his gloved fingers through Daisy’s long brown hair.

A soft sigh and giggle indicated that she was awake

“Mornin hon, how was ghost bustin’?” she asked with a stretch and a yawn

“Eh, it’s been a-better. Upside though is that we met two Smashers, I’ll introduce you to them when we all get together”

“Neat. I can’t wait to meet them” Daisy said woozily, pausing to stop yet another yawn, “I love you Weegee”

“I love you too babe”

Luigi crawled into Daisy’s bed, cuddling her close, and falling asleep almost instantly. It had been quite the day.

**  
  
**

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to jump in here and say, first of all, thanks for reading. This has been a labor of love since the Direct that revealed King K. Rool. While the original version will stay on FF.net, the AO3 version, at least for these first few chapters, have been a way to edit chapters to make it appear less they were thrown together after a direct in 2018, written at a time when I didn't think I'd be doing much more than novelizing trailers, and actually retroactively fit in the continuity. Also testing chapter summaries to see if it's a thing that will hinder or detract from the fic


	4. Origins: Ridley and Dark Samus.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the briefing about Isabelle's invitation to Smash, Mario sends Samus on a mission to recruit some of her old foes, which sends Samus and a rag tag group right in the middle of a pirate power struggle.

**Origins: Ridley and Dark Samus**

**Smash Mansion: Conference Room**

“THEY WANT ME IN SMASH!” bellowed the startled image of Isabelle on the tablet computer screen

Light chuckles arose from around the room. Mario suddenly grabbed the tablet from his seat around the boardroom table. Seated to his immediate left and right were The Original 12, the group of heroes originally gathered by Master Hand to determine who was the best among them. While on some level he trusted the judgment of everyone in the Smash Brotherhood, these eleven were some of the most experienced warriors in the entire universe, and almost just as experienced with the unique animal known as Smash Brothers. The only person in the boardroom who was not one of the originals was Shulk, who coordinated the Smash technology Mario had inherited from The Hands, Master, and Crazy.

“As you can see Isabelle was VERY enthused to be-a selected. Now, on to more serious concerns.” Mario addressed the room, thumbing through files on the tablet, “Ms. Aran, there have been reports that these two have become targets in a space pirate leadership shakeup.”

Mario slid the tablet to Samus, who caught it. Immediately on seeing the images onscreen, those who sat closest to her could see her eyes clothes. Everyone could hear the deep inhale. The two images onscreen were that of a purple dragon and a dark visage of herself. Ridley and Dark Samus.

“No,” Samus snarled after what seemed like an eternity of silence, “My dark clone is more or less an animal made of some alien goop, and Ridley has KILLED everyone I cared about.”

“Sam listen” Mario shot back, “Ridley’s been screwed over by Tabuu, just like all the other ‘bad guys’ on our roster. If we explain to him we aren’t anti-villain, but anti-Tabuu, we can make it work.”

“As far as Dark You…” Shulk began, but was interrupted by Samus’ head snapping in his direction,

“It isn’t me, it’s an animal who liked my costume.”

“Right, so….erm….Dark Samus, I’ve been looking around Crazy Hand’s old room and…”  
"Please for the love of God let this be relevant” moaned Captain Falcon.

“And I found a shock collar. Reverse engineering says it can shock the wearer at the push of a button, and in worse case scenarios detonate the wearer entirely. I volunteer to make one for Dark Samus, and be its keeper.”

Samus paused in thought, then slowly nodded, “Okay, but if either of ‘em fucks up, it’s on you Mario, and you Shulk.”

“I accept a-responsibility. Same goes for you Shulk?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Good. Now, I suspect you know where these two idiots are?” growled Samus.

“Yes. A stolen carrier ship where Zebes used to be,” Shulk stated.

“I’m-a gonna give you the liberty of putting together the team that accompanies you for this,” said Mario

“It has to be a small team. Ridley’s a coward and will flee the second he thinks he’s outmatched. That said, I’m thinking you” she said, pointing to Mario, “and Megaman would be solid enough backup.”

“Alright. You have-a two hours before we depart.”

“Understood.”

The meeting adjourned then, with Samus leading the group out into the main mansion. Heading to the elevator, she heard a voice behind her.

“Samus darling, you look perturbed. Is something the matter?”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, it was Peach, the perpetually sunny princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

“Recruitment I’m not too happy about.”

Peach hummed in thought, “It’s not that dreadful dragon from Subspace. Ridley was it?”

“Yeah, and another alien who uses my stuff.”

“Oh, dear. Samus, darling, Mario knows what he’s doing. He wouldn’t recruit anyone he didn’t think would help.”

“Still not happy,” Samus huffed as the elevator came to a stop on her floor.

“Good talk darling,” Peach called out as Samus departed

Samus fumbled with the passcode to her room, finally keying in the correct set of numbers on her communicator, opening the door.

As she opened the door, she saw her roommate, Bayonetta, sprawled out on her bed, reading an ancient-looking book. Bayonetta rolled to her side as she heard Samus enter.

“What? No ‘honey I’m home’?” playfully chided Bayonetta.

Samus cracked a grin at that. Bayonetta was one of the few people who’s dry, terse attitude matched her own. Combine that with being a relentless tease, and she was one of Samus’ favorite Smashers

“For the last time, I’m not your honey”

“Oh? Drunk Samus at the afterparty last tournament had some different things to say”

“It’s why I don’t drink. Drunk Samus is an idiot,” explained the bounty hunter as she punched the code on the safe in the closet that contained her Varia Suit.

“And where are you off to young lady?” questioned an intrigued Bayonetta.

“Off with a couple of the others, for a recruitment mission, I’m not too excited about.”

Bayonetta frowned, “And why was I not invited?”

“Because you and I are friends. Ridley would pick up on that.”

“The hell? Why him? Didn’t he….?

“Yeah.”

Silence hung in the air as Samus began to put on her armor, then.

“Well, be careful. I like having you around. You’re the only one around here who enjoys it when I jiggle my ass.”

Samus let out a single chuckle as she continued to dress, putting on her arm cannon over her gloved Zero suit.

“Cloud plenty well enjoyed it.”

Bayonetta playfully tossed the book she was reading at Samus.

“Ugh, you’re lucky we’re friends. I’d have to really kick anyone else’s ass if they mentioned him to me.”

“Cloudanetta.”

“Now you’re really pushing your luck. Get out of here before I make whatever stink-infested place you’re headed to look like a candy shop.”

Samus put on the helmet, the last piece of her armor, which activated the voice modulator, which deepened her voice as not to betray the fact she was a woman to scummy bounty hunters she interacted with in her working life

“Now it’s your turn to shut up ‘Netta.”

Bayonetta’s tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth, “You manipulative little wench! You know how much I like your man voice.”

“Shut up,” playfully chided Samus as she left the room.

**Stolen federation carrier ship, coordinates of the former Zebes**

The two hours before stepping through the portal had been utterly silent. Engaging with Ridley, and to a lesser extent Dark Samus always left her in a foul mood. She figured being a grouch would hinder her ability to properly brief the Blue Bomber and the leader of the Smashers on what they might see.

Samus Aran could not have prepared for this, even on her best day

Samus had seen her fair share of decomposition and rot over the years, but this was notably ghastly, even with that in mind.. Pirates were strung up by their entrails in any place a rope could be hung, and it stunk like death. Briefly, she pondered the idea that this was some sort of barbaric warning, an ‘abandon all hope ye who enter’ idea. Maybe the rot turned Ridley on. To avoid that charming thought, Samus cast a quick glance at her companions. Megaman’s eyes darted robotically from side to side, completely stonefaced. Mario on the other hand, while a consummate professional, was looking _very_ pale

Suddenly, a screech hung pierced the air, as Dark Samus jumped down from higher up, between Samus and Mario, but zeroing in on the plumber, firing a fully charged blaster shot. Mario quickly reacted, using his cape to deflect the blast. The blast careened back at Dark Samus, propelling it into the air at Samus feet it hard onto the metal walkway they all resided. Megaman waded his way between them, activating his leaf shield while Samus charged her own shot, the gun attached to her arm pressed firmly against Dark Samus’ head.

“Dark. Stand down,” demanded a shrill, squawking voice.

Samus closed her eyes, inhaled and exhaling as she heard the beating of wings from below. Sure enough, Ridley flew up to their level from below

“As if today couldn’t get any worse. To what do I owe the pleasure Aran? Come to try and arrest me like usual?”

“No, she’s with me. I’m-a Mario Mario, leader of the Smash Brothers,” Mario called from the back

“Ah, the people up in Tabuu’s business years ago. What do you want with me?”

“Pirate fleet inbound. 30 seconds to entry” dryly explained Megaman

Ridley roared.

“How _dare_ you. You’re with them! You’re working with the pirates!”

“No, we…” Mario began.

Ridley’s razor-sharp tail lashed out, striking Megaman, hard, with a metal clanging. A stunned Megaman went limp as his Leaf Shield was pierced, along with the chest cavity of his armor. Megaman keeled over the walkway’s railing off of the walkway. Suddenly, Rush appeared, allowing Megaman to use him as a jump. Just as he did this, Rush disappeared. His eyes snapped to Ridley, who’s eyes were wide with shock.  
“….Two…..One.” 

Just as Megaman spoke those words, the door at the opposite end of the walkway exploded outward. Megaman tossed a metal blade into the explosion, striking the first pirate, causing him to fall lifelessly backward. Dark Samus whipped around, shooting an ice missile at the second pirate. The ice block that resulted around the pirate’s form was large enough to block the rest of the door.

“Ah, so you aren’t the sniveling traitors I thought you were,” hissed Ridley

“Shut the hell up and do something useful,” Samus barked.

“Pfft, women,” Ridley chuckled.

“Fuck you. Dark! Double charge shot, on my word!” Samus shouted

Both Samus and Dark took squatting firing stances as Dark Samus charged her arm cannon

_Wait for it. Wait for it._

“NOW!”

Two fully charged arm cannon shots careened through the door, one obliterating the frozen pirate, the other obliterating three pirates crowded in the doorway’s corridor

Mario sprayed the floor in front of the Smashers with FLUDD causing a group of pirates to slip and fall of the walkway, “Megaman, now! The collar!”

Megaman tossed the shock collar at Dark Samus, which wrapped perfectly around its neck.

“What have you done to…?” balked Ridley.

“TAKE OUT THE CAPITAL SHIP YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF…” hollered Samus.

“Fine, fine, if it’ll quit your bitching,” Ridley whined.

Ridley flew through an air lock located at the bottom of the ship into space, swooping out from under the base. finding the offending pirate ship, and obliterating it with his mouth laser.

“That should be the last of them” Ridley snarled as he lazily came back through the air lock, his head cocking at Dark Samus’ new accessory, “And what have you done to my colleague?”

“We’ll talk about that later,” Samus snapped, “What I originally was going to offer you was that we can offer you asylum from Mother Brain’s crap.”

“Mother Brain? It’s back? That’s why my men turned on us?”

“Yes. And Mother Brain is the least of the universe’s problems. Tabuu’s old forces are behind it, commanded by someone else”

Ridley let out a feral growl, just as he did, Dark Samus leaped at Samus, but an electric shock brought it to its knees

“What was that?”

“Shock collar. It’s a safety precaution. Obey all orders, and you won’t get one yourself.” Samus growled.

“Our terms are these,” Megaman began, “ In order to receive asylum you will assist in the fight against Tabuu’s forces, and participate in the illustrious Smash tournament.”

“This is utter nonsense. Dark Samus and I have done nothing to deserve having our basic rights as sentient beings dangled over our heads.”

Samus chuckled.

“What’s so funny, twerp?”

“Samus! Not now!” commanded Mario as Megaman punched in the code to open a portal. back to the Smashverse

“Follow us,” Samus commanded.

As Samus entered the portal, Mario turned to The Cunning God of Death, “Ridley, if I can ask, how do you control Dark Samus?”

“It can feel the hatred I feel, thus trusts my judgement. The enemy of the enemy is my friend after all,” cackled Ridley as he and Dark Samus entered the portal.

Mario frowned, “I’ll have to keep an eye on him won’t I Mega?”

“Affirmative,” agreed Megaman as the two stepped through the portal.


	5. Origins: Chrom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Lucina meet up with Chrom give him his invitation and breif him on the impending threat. Chrom reminisces about his time as a spectator and the fighters he's looking forward to fighting most.

**Origins: Chrom**

**Yilsse, Shepards Command Center**

"Exalt Chrom! Hello!"

"Evenin' Exalt Chrom!"

Chrom waved back at the two men lugging supply boxes as he entered the grounds of the Shepards command center, a place he knew well as its former leader, but a position he had to vacate as the new Exalt. Luckily, he'd left it in the hands of the two most trustworthy people he knew. His daughter, Lucina, and her husband, his best friend, Robin. His wife, Sumia, while not directly involved with Shepard business, had devoted the rest of the Shepard’s land to the pasturizing of pegasi and the blooming of beautiful flowers

As Chrom approached the main cabin, he saw Robin, a silver-haired young man, dressed in his usual black robes, waving excitedly at him. Holding his other hand, was his daughter Lucina.

"Greetings Chrom!" Robin shouted, smiling wide.

"And greetings to the both of you!" Chrom called back

When they were in close enough distance, Chrom and Robin gave one another a hardy handshake. Lucina, meanwhile, threw her arms around Chrom in a warm hug.

"Hello, Father!"

Chrom chuckled lightly. Lucina was normally serious and stoic to other people, but a very affectionate and warm around him. While the reasons were completely understandable, having grown up without him in an apocalyptic future, it still jarred him from time to time.

"And hello to you too love. Now, you said you had something for me?"

Lucina smiled wider, like a kid keeping in a major surprise, Robin meanwhile, only grinned, handing him a letter. The letter had the Smash Brothers crest on it. Chrom let out a bellowing laugh.

"So that lad Falcon wants a re-match I'm guessing?" Chrom said with a smirk, “Your mother will never approve of this.”

“Oh, she has.”

Chrom raised an eyebrow, “You’re serious?”

Lucina chuckled, “Of course! Robin’s request to allow me to stay in this timeline was honored by Master Hand, and so she’s warmer to you joining Smash than she was last tournament."

Chrom breathed a sigh of relief “Oh, that’s good. I don’t think I could survive another lecture of that magnitude. Either way, I’ve been training hard, so I can give Falcon the rematch he deserves.” 

"Father, Falcon was more impressed with you than you think. You did Ike's Aether in that fight without having seen Ike do it, and you took three consecutive Falcon Punches before I had to step in. It was all he talked about for months! It makes me think that you would’ve been invited had mother not expressly forbade it."

"Great!” cheered the Exalt with a booming laugh, “ I'm looking forward to seeing some of the legendary heroes you regaled me with tales of. Especially that fellow Ike. I believe it was destiny that we were meant to meet in battle."

"I've thought that too, since the day with Falcon anyway." Robin began, before Lucina cut him off.

“There’s…more to this than the tournament however.”

Chrom’s expression darkened, “A looming threat I assume?”

"We'll explain on the way. I've already informed Lissa that she'll need to take command for a while," explained Robin

"Okay. Let's go," commanded Chrom.

The silver haired tactician nodded, pressing a few buttons on his red wristwatch. A portal opened, showing the Smashverse on the other side.

The three stepped through, as the portal closed behind them.

**The Smashverse**

Chrom paused to take in the scenery while Lucina sighed dreamily, clutching Robin’s hand. They stood on in the courtyard of the enormous Smash Mansion, a cool spring breeze blowing in the air, the songs of birds and bugs the only sound for miles.

“This looks…different than the city than we stayed in last time.” Chrom finally concluded to Robin.

“Yes. The Smash Mansion is behind a magical gate that only we Smashers can move in and out of.”

Chrom laughed, “This beats that…what was it called?” asked the bumfuzzled Exalt.

“Hotel?” Robin offered.

“Yes. An inn that towered as high as the sky overwhelmed us, as did the amenities. Having food prepared for you is how kings live, yet we were in a commoner’s inn. That aside, this place appears to be more in line with the castles that I am familiar with. Very peaceful as well.”

"Yes," said Lucina with a sigh, "It's always so peaceful here, I missed it."

"Unfortunately, it won't be very peaceful if Conker decides to act,” Robin said.

Chrom’s brow furrowed "He is the threat?"

"Yes. He is an unhinged despot from Mario's world. He has the Smash Core."

"Are we expecting war?"

"For now, no. We believe Conker is still gathering villains from across the universe, including Grima."

Chrom's face went white, "Grima? But we killed him! _You_ killed him"

"Yes, father," Lucina said, her expression suddenly downcast , "In our reality. However, in other realities, we've been informed a female version of Robin has taken over the world as Grima's host."

"That is…unsettling to say the least. But, if we beat Grima together in out reality , we can beat Grima again and avenge the lives lost there. " stated the Exalt of Yilsse.

"I agree," Robin nodded, "But, until Conker moves, the tournament is a priority, by order of Mario. We can't let the public think there's anything wrong,"

"Indeed," Lucina said, "And, I was hoping that we could prioritize all of us spending time together. We are all so busy in our non-Smash lives."

"Indeed we are! I'd like to spend time with my son-in-law, and my daughter very much!"

Robin grinned, "Very good! Let's get you settled at the Mansion. You're rooming with Ike and Pichu I believe."

"Yes! We can trade techniques! And…what’s a Pichu?"

Robin sniggered, “You remember the yellow rat from last time right?”

“Yes. I lost quite a bit gold betting against him, much to Sumia’s chagrin.”

“It’s like a smaller version of him.”

Chrom quickly covered his mouth, “My instinct’s say to treat the prospect with humor, but my thinking brain says to treat the matter seriously, for any spawn of the great Pikachu is clearly a warrior of glory and renoun.”  
“Perhaps you’ll need my tactician skills at the betting tables as well this time,” Robin chided.

The three shared a chuckle as they walked from the park in the direction of the Smash Mansion.


	6. Origins: Ken and Incineroar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a spot on the Smash roster on the line, Ken heads to an alternate dimension 1989 Brooklyn NY for an exhibition against Little Mac. But, someone else is looking to make their mark as well. Can Ken turn buck the challenge?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s note: Because canons are confusing, for the sake of the story we’re going to say the events of Punch-Out took place in 1987, the events of Punch-Out Wii in 1989, the events of Street Fighter II in 1991, and the events of Street Fighter V in 2018)

**Origins Ken and Incineroar**

**Manhattan, New York,**

**WVBA Arena**

**1989**

**5:00 PM**

“So this is the place huh?” a cocky, boisterous voice echoed throughout the empty boxing arena.

“Yes Ken, this is it. Doors open at 7, and your tryout isn’t until the main event, so you have plenty of time to warm up,” said a much sterner voice with a hint of a Japanese accent.

The boisterous one, a blond, chisel-faced, American was wearing an expensive-looking red suit, with at least three of the buttons undone, revealing a Black Sabbath t-shirt underneath. The Japanese man, had black, short yet frizzy hair, and wore a tattered karate gi and sandals.

They were Ken and Ryu, two martial arts masters who had trained together since their youths, often crossing paths in tournaments around the world. Despite their near unbreakable bond, the two couldn't be more different. Ken was born into American economic royalty, the Masters business empire, and was sent to Japan to learn martial arts under Gouken. On the other hand, Ryu was born a penniless orphan, raised by the man who would go on to train them both, the martial arts master Gouken. Their unbreakable bond was one forged by mutual respect of the other’s discipline and ethics, as well the common bond of having faced some strange foes over the years, like the evil warlord M. Bison, or Master Gouken’s rival Akuma. They’d even fought in multiple dimensions. These opponents had come in previously unimaginable manners. Cyborgs, androids, mutants, giant monsters, super heroes, aliens, and demons to name a few. But somehow, this struck Ken as the strangest. Here he was, having freshly teleported from his summer home in 2018 to 1989 Manhattan hours earlier.

“Man, I can’t believe we’re in 1989” Ken mused to no one in particular.

“As you’ve said several times, ” grunted Ryu as he slid under the bottom rope of the ring.

Ken was more theatrical, jumping over the top rope, and kicking off his shoes.

“Yeah, but like, of all the places we’ve been, all the screwed up monsters we fought, here I am in an alternate universe of a place I spent A LOT of my childhood summers, and in a time before the second World Warrior tournament, when I was catching up on all the pop culture I’d missed while I was in the Japanese boonies with you knuckleheads”

Ryu grinned, “Oddly flippant for someone about to try out for the biggest Smash tournament ever.”

“You know me bud, gotta keep loose before a big fight,” Ken said with a chuckle, leaning against the ropes, “Especially since I’m fighting the dude who you did your tryout against.”

Ryu felt a cold chill run up his spine. There were a few fights where, if he thought about it, he could feel the pain of the blows as if it were yesterday. The match he’d had to tryout for the Duel tournament against Little Mac, the deceptively small, scrappy boxer, in this very arena was one of them. It had ended in a draw when a Star Punch from Mac and a fully charged Focus Punch from Ryu had connected simultaneously, resulting in a double knockout. Luckily, Mac vouched for Ryu post-fight and he’d been accepted into Smash Bros.

“Thinking about the finish of that one? Man, that was gnarly!” said Ken, who by this point was throwing some high kicks at nothing.

“Yes. Hopefully, you fare better than I did. Now come, we should find your locker room,” said Ryu

Ken and Ryu both left the ring together walking down one of the entrance ramps, Ken trailing behind Ryu as he scrambled to grab his shoes

“Hey man, before we go, can we pick up _Look Who’s Talking_ on Laserdisc?”

Ryu shook his head, “Can you be serious for just one moment?”

“Hey,” snapped Ken, “It’s Eliza’s favorite movie, and I’ll be in serious trouble if I didn’t get it for the Laserdisc player I bought her for my birthday.”

Ryu raised an eyebrow as the two pushed through the curtain leading backstage, “You bought her a movie player for your own birthday?”  
“So I like spending time with my wife, why is that so crazy?”

“It’s just….nevermind,” Ryu said shaking his head.

_Who buys gifts for other people on their own birthday?_ wondered a perplexed Ryu as the walked down the somewhat grimy hall of the arena.

**9:30 PM**

It had been a thrilling night of boxing action thus-far. Don Flamenco had won the WVBA Title against King Hippo in a huge upset, Mr. Sandman had knocked out Disco Kid in mere seconds, and an Aran Ryan vs Piston Hondo match had ended in a double DQ when, in response to Ryan using a glove loaded with horseshoes, Piston had used a jumping kick to knock Aran out of the ring.

Meanwhile, in the backstage area, not far behind the curtain of one of the entrance ramps, stood Ken (now dressed in his trademarked red gi), Ryu, and Mario. Sitting behind them was Doctor Mario.

“So Ken, your match is up-a-next. Make it a good one okay? These crossover bouts draw a ton of money, and the more money we draw the less I have to hear from the owner of this place about renting the building,” Mario explained, “Don’t worry about injuries, my good man Doctor Mario can cure literally anything instantly.”

Doctor Mario looked up from his seated position on a cheap folding chair against a wall., nodding eagerly. Before Ken could respond, the ring bell tolled three times.

“Llllladies and gentleman boys and girls,” bellowed the ring announcer, dramatically drawing out the ‘l’, “It seems like mere months ago we watched Little Mac take on the mighty Donkey Kong, and even sooner still, saw the Bronx Brawler go one to a draw with the mysterious Ryu. Now, once again, in a far off land, not hindered by our concept of time, It is Smash Season once again!”

The ring announcer paused to let the crowd cheer, Ken could barely hear anything, much less what Mario had to say, He had caught the term “popular in this market”, but Ken could’ve pieced together that Smash was popular here just by the cheers.

“And now,” the announcer continued, “A denizen of our world faces another opponent from far away, under Smash Brothers rules! Whoever is knocked out of the barrier first wins!”

A heavy metal track hit the speakers, the same one that Ken had choosen as his walkout theme in the Street Fighter tournament in spring of 1991 that had made the careers of both he and Ryu. Ken dramtically strutted through the curtain, casting a thumbs up at the crowd as he jogged to the ring, leaping over the top rope. This elicited a surprised gasp from the crowd. Ken pumped his fists into the air to the cheers of the crowd. Ken stepped into his corner as the music changed to triumphant trumpets accompanied by a funky base guitar straight out of the pop rock of the time. . From the opposite entrance ramp came Little Mac, accompanied by a rotund African American man in a red tracksuit, who Ken recognized from the Duel Tournament as Doc Louis. Mac entered the ring after a light jog, fire in his eyes, Mac wordlessly went back into the corner, as the bell rang again.

“Introducing the challenger. From his world’s version of Los Angeles California. He is a pupil of the same discipline that produced Ryu. He is KEN MASTERRRRRRS!” bellowed the ring announcer

Ken had to stifle a laugh as muffled boos reached his ears.

_The crowd’s pissed that I’m here, Mac’s clearly pissed. Maybe I can work this to my advantage._

“And introducing the incumbent Smasher. From the Bronx, New York City. Accompanied by one of the all-time greats, Doc Lewis, he is a name that is synonymous with the WVBA, he is LITTLE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!”

Uproarious cheers resulted as Mac slowly thrust a fist into the air in solidarity with the crowd. Doc Lewis was up on the ring apron giving Mac some instructions. Mac hadn’t broken eye contact with Ken, and the advice of Doc didn’t seem to phase him.

“The rules are as follows,” stated the referee, a middle aged white man with salt and pepper hair, “One stock to a finish. The first one outside the barriers loses. Final Smash Meter rules apply, the more damage you take, the more it fills the meter. When the meter fills completely you will be able to unleash your Final Smash. Do you understand these rules?”

“Yeah!” Ken said, flashing his trademark million-dollar smile and peace sign  
Mac simply nodded

**3, 2, 1, GO!  
**

Mac and Ken met in the center of the ring, each taking their familiar stances. Ken grinned slightly. He knew this next move would throw Mac off  
“Ey!” Ken barked  
Mac’s expression changed for a brief second to an inquisitive one  
“C’mon C’mon!” Ken shouted as he used his index finger to flick Little Mac underneath the chin

The crowd booed, and Mac’s body tensed. Just as Ken processed his handy work, he was met with a flurry of rights and lefts, too fast for Ken to even comprehend. Almost entirely on reflex, Ken kneed Mac in the gut, grabbed him by the shoulders, falling backward to flip Mac behind him. Mac immediately sprang to his feet. Over the roar of the crowd, Ken could barely hear Doc bellow for Mac to “back it up”. Per his trainer’s command, Mac retreated into his corner of the ring.

_Close the gap with a…_  
“HADOUKEN!” shouted Ken, as, out of the cusp of his outstretched hands, an orange fireball appeared, headed in Mac’s direction.

Mac, hands in a blocking position, ran at the fireball, before leaping into the air, completely over the fireball.

“Wha-?” Ken gasped in shock

But before he could think on it any further, an outstretched, boxing gloved hand rained down on the top of his head. Ken felt the blast of pain, but before he could register anything, more rights and lefts were raining down on his body. Ken retreated into a corner as even more body blows rained down on him.  
_Gotta….figure out his rhythm._

Four more body blows, Ken saw Mac rearing back for the next volley. Now was his chance.

“SHORYUKEN!” shouted Ken as he put all of his body weight into a jumping Uppercut

Almost as if in slow motion, Ken could see Mac’s face cave to accommodate his fist, and Mac flew backward. Ken did a running leap into the air, raining down on Mac with a kick, and a close-range Hadoken to close out the combination. This sent Mac flying back further. Ken fired off another Hadoken. As Ken expected, Mac dodged it, albeit just barely, and it was meant to graze Mac, to engender whatever carnal emotion came up first.

“Bring it on asshole” Ken breathed with a quick smile

Doc Louis had speed-waddled to the side of the ring Mac was on, near the ropes.

“Mac! Don’t do nothin’ stupid.”

“Gotta hit ‘em with Stunning Straight Lunge Doc. Ryu hit me with Focus Punch last time, figurin his buddy’s gonna hit me with the same shit.”

“Mac, you’re playing right into his trap,”

“Worst thing’ll do is knock me down Doc! I’ve gotten up from worse!”

Lewis paused, nervously biting his lip, “It’s your call kid, go ahead!”

**In the back**

“Man oh man, this is a good fight!” shouted the usually reserved Doctor Mario.

As Ryu silently nodded in agreement, Mario casually removed a Pokeball from the pocket of his overalls, freeing its contents. What emerged was a red bear/dog creature with the humanoid build of a professional wrestler, complete with championship belt made entirely of fire.

“What on Earth is that?” Ryu asked as the thing began to breathe fire from its nostrils

“This is Incineroar-a. From the Alolan islands, on the same planet as Pikachu and those guys. A researcher there loaned him to me”

“What….what’re you going to do with him?”

Under his mustache, Mario grinned mischievously, “This is the next phase of Ken’s tryout. Does he have experience in fighting-a professional wrestlers?”

“Yes. One of the regular World Warrior contestants is one.”

Good,” Mario said, as Incineroar huffed and puffed behind him

**In the ring**

Mac was charging Straight Lunge, Ken knew that from watching the tape of Ryu’s tryout. In response, Ken focused his energy. A shadowy aura surrounded him. Mac launched across the ring with the speed of a mortal vehicle. The punch connected with such a noise that it rattled the ring supports. Ken did not budge. Mac had anticipated this. Just wait for the punch. However, Mac’s eyes went wide when Ken responded with a kick.

**WHAM!  
**Mac felt his leg muscles melt to butter as he sunk to his knees. The blow caught him off guard.

**WHAM!**

Another kick, right to the jaw, Mac scrambled up, feeling the power well up in him, It was time for his Star Punch, but wait….was Ken glowing?

Something occurred to Ken as he began to glow. His Smash wrist device, not unlike a watch, indicated damage of both competitors, and Smash Meter for each

Ken was at 80 damage, with a full Smash meter, whereas Mac was at a crisp 65, ready to hit his Star Punch uppercut.

_It’s now or never_

Ken waited for Mac to close in.

_NOW!”_

**“Shippu Jinraikyaku!”**

Ken launched a volley of kicks, culminating into a volley of kicks, which the spinning force of brought both competitors into the air. The final kick launched Mac off-stage and into one of the LED boards suspended near one of the entrances. An explosive “POP” was heard as the body of Little Mac collided with the electronics.

“KEN MASTERS WINS!” the announcer shouted.

The referee raised Ken’s arm, and on reflex, the red-clad American flashed his million dollar smile. This was Ken’s favorite part of any fight, taking in the crowd’s adjulation for a job well done or anger. Judging by the crowd reaction, Ken had turned about half the crowd to his favor. But Ken knew there would always be Little Mac stalwarts in WVBA territory. So, Ken thought, mission accomplished.

Suddenly, the building PA crackled to life, “Incineroar, go-a,” came the voice of Mario.

“What?” Ken shouted.

That’s when he saw him. The hulking bear…cat… monster… thing that was Incineroar bolting down to the ring. Incineroar jumped into the air, landing in the ring with a firey “BOOM” and posing for the crowd

“So we’re fighting fire with fire huh big guy. Bring it o-“

Ken couldn’t even finish his sentence, as Incineroar lunged for him with incredible quickness, grabbing him by the waist, spinning behind him, and hoisting Ken backward to throw him headfirst. Ken had taken his fair share of German Suplexes from the wrestler Zangief. What he’d never experienced from the Russian was not having his hips released, so that he could be pulled into yet another German Suplex. Incineroar went for another, but, as he had in fights with Zangief time and time again, Ken tried to elbow Incineroar in the neck, hoping to break the hold. Incineroar spun him around, pulling him in for a mighty Lariat. At the same time, Ken managed to land a Shoryuken. However, Ken felt consciousness leave him, and his body crumple to the mat. However, it was only a brief dance with defenselessness, and Ken had been there more times than he could count. When he got up, Incineroar had only stumbled backward and was running for him again, Ken was thrown by his wrist, sent running into a set of ropes different from the one that belonged to the actual ring. Incineroar tossed a running Ken over his head into the air. Ken landed hard on his back, only to see Incineroar coming down on him, his meaty arms in an ‘X’ shape. Ken felt the wind leave his stomach as he desperately coughed. Incineroar had backed off him as Ken rose to his feet. The monster, meanwhile, was content to flex his buldging muscles for the crowd.

Ken wordlessly nailed one more Shoryuken rocking the beast back. Then another. And still another. However, now Incineroar was glowing. But, unlike the rainbow glow of a Final Smash, Incineroar’s musculature was glowing with the ferocity of a fresh ember, as if fire ran in his veins instead of blood. Incineroar lunged forward, and Ken was whipped off the ropes harder than he ever had before, and clostheslined with the ferocity of being hit by a train. Now, Incineroar was glowing with a Final Smash. Ken would feel shagrin, if he could feel anything at all. Incineroar uppercut Ken into the air hit his defenseless victim a mighty flying kick, another uppercut, and then finally, brought down to earth with the cross chop he’d been nailed with before, except now he was enveloped into a nuclear inferno. Now, it was Ken’s turn to fly into the opposite LED board Mac had earlier before he truly lost consciousness.

**One hour later**

Ken sprang up. He was on the floor of the arena, and Dr.Mario and Ryu stood over him.

“How do you feel?” Ryu asked.

“Hungover,” moaned Ken

An uncharacteristic grin from Ryu.

“That’s Doctor Mario’s pills for you. You’ll be good after a while.”

“Well good,” Ken said, shaking the cobwebs from his head

“Ken-a, my boy. That was beyond incredible.” came the voice of Mario.

“You mind telling me what that was short stack?” Ken spat, now furious.

“That was Incineroar from the Pokemon planet, and your match with him was his tryout. Plus-a, I wanted to see how you handled adversity. The both of you passed. Welcome to the Smash Brotherhood.”

“OOH YEAH! THE BEAST FROM THE ISLAND IS STYLIN BROTHER!” came the voice of Incineroar.

“Jesus, that thing can talk?” moaned Ken as he grabbed his now increasingly throbbing head.

“I-a gave him a translation device. You’ll-a get one too, so all Smashers can speak Common English, it’s just protocol.”

“Dude…Ryu….can we go somewhere and just sleep?”

Ryu raised an eyebrow, “You booked a hotel remember? You wanted to go sightseeing for a couple of days before we reported to the Smashverse.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Sorry I asked” Ken said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head .

Ken got to his feet. He and Ryu began to walk towards the exit when they noticed Mac and Doc Louis headed in the same direction.

“Hey Mac, good fight! Sorry about the flick thing. Just thought it’d be fun to piss ya off.” Ken chided

Mac shot a look over his shoulder, a playful grin, “You aren’t the first person to say that to me, and you won’t be the last either. Sorry about bein’ pissy in the ring. I was just mad I didn’t get the duke over Ryu last time. Now I figure I need to train with you crazy people!”

Ken couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Yeah, man! See you in the Smashverse!” Ken said.

Doc and Mac both nodded in agreement as all four men headed out of the building to get some well-deserved rest before the tournament.


	7. Origins: Joker (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Directly after the end of Persona 5, The Phantom Thieves of Heart go on a camping trip. Meanwhile, the Smashers have taken notice of the ripple effect the Metaverse's destruction has caused.

**Origins: Joker (Part 1)**

**“Cloud Strife, you’re needed in the Core Machine Room, Cloud Strife, Core Machine Room”**

“Agh, damnit”

Cloud lazily got out of bed with a groan. Club sandwich and chips in hand, Cloud was looking to enjoy a big meal in bed and watching television, but alas, it didn’t sound like today was that day. He walked down the halls of the Smash Mansion, going deeper and deeper into its storage catacombs. The Core Machine was less of a computer, and more of an entire room, where those who were skilled in the alien machine’s use often scouted the going’s on of multiple dimensions, the information therein being used to recruit Smashers. Shulk had eagerly explained the technobabble to him when he had arrived something about how it was something The Hands themselves had invented and bequeathed to them.

Regardless of all the science, Cloud knew you were only invited back there if you were integral to a recruitment job.  
As Cloud came to the last set of doors,, a transparent glass set of doors that appeared to lead to an laboratory shrouded in pitch black darkness , he steeled himself, knocking. A Fighting Alloy, a purple jagged featureless robot answered, “Right this way Mr.Strife” droaned the robot.

As soon as the doors shut, he saw it. On the wall opposite him a map stretched the entirety of the domed room they were in.

 _No,_ Cloud realized, _Multiple maps._

Whoever was operating the projector was scrolling past maps of planets and continents on those planets

“Stop. It’s-a here” snapped Mario’s authoritative voice.

The map stopped on an island nation. A dot on the map called “Tokyo” pulsated with a red and black aura

“Yeh, it’s got a pretty distinctive energy signature. Ganondorf, can you feel it?” came the voice of Shulk.

“Yes. By the Goddesses, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.”

“What? Evil?” Mario asked.

“Not just that, bur contempt, lust, greed, all the things the religious would call sin, the focal point was here.”

“And you’re sure these, “Phantom Thieves” made that crap a-go away?”

“According to the website I found about them. Yes.”

“Ganondorf, do you think you could recreate the place this energy came from for our purposes?”

“If you insist Sir Mario” grumbled Ganondorf.

“ Shulk, you said something about a website? Can you find out who the owner of the website is?”

“With a bit of digging, yeh.”

“ _Meraviglioso_ Shulk! I think the final piece to this has arrived!”

With that, the light flipped on Standing to one side was Mario, dressed in a red t-shirt and blue jeans alongside with his trademark work shoes and hat. Standing at a circular computer terminal was Shulk dressed in a white labcoat, while Ganondorf had his hands on a module of the device, what Cloud could only describe as a stovetop, caressing a red and black ball of energy like putty as he idly stared off at nothing.

Mario extended his hand for Cloud to shake. He took it, heartily shaking his friend’s hand, “Whaddya need? I was in the middle of lunch!” playfully chided Cloud

“Now Cloud, you know I wouldn’t ask a favor of you if I didn’t think you were the best guy for-a the job Once Shulk tracks down this kid’s website I’m gonna need you to go find him.”

“Alright, what do I tell him?”

“Just-a follow dis line of questioning exactly and you’ll be alright…”

**Tokyo, Japan, March 19, Electric Town**

Cloud couldn’t help but sneer as he walked past the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, It was like Midgar all over again, and only slightly less smelly. Regardless, after an exhaustive search, Cloud had found the district he was meant to be in and saw the young man he was looking for. Even across the street from the newspaper stand at which the young boy stood, Cloud could see from the boy’s meek, awkward demeanor that there’d be no fight here.

_Good, this is going to be easy_

Cloud crossed the street at a red light. He briefly considered shouting to get the young man’s attention but thought better of it.

“Hey” Cloud asked, “Are you Yuuki Mishima?”

“Uhh, what’s it to you?”

“It’s about the Phantom Thieves” Cloud said, walking towards Mishima still

“Oh. Well they disbanded, I’m their sysadmin and…”

By now, Cloud was in whispering distance of Mishima’s ear

“I know that, I also know about Ren Amamiya, Joker, too.” he hissed

Cloud been in rigorous fights all his life. As such, he could analyze a person’s feeling just from their muscle movement, even just on sight. And the young man Mishima went stiff as a board in fear

“Wha? What do you want?” asked Mishima with a nervous swallow

“Tomorrow, I want you to call them, tell ‘em that The Metaverse, that world that they always went to is back and there’s a job in it for ‘em.”

Cloud withdrew a stack of cash from his trenchcoat pocket, “Here” he said, “This is 500,000 yen, enough for a year of university. I trust you’ll do what I asked?”

“Y-yes sir!” Mishima stammered, his eyes wide with both fear and excitement as he pocketed the cash

Cloud bowed deeply to the young man and about faced

_Now where do I get a decent sandwich around here?_ Cloud wondered to himself.

**Tokyo, Japan, March 19, afternoon, somewhere after a toll road**

A van had just begun its journey past a toll booth, but the occupants were far from ordinary. They were the Phantom Thieves of Heart, and adrenaline had just started to simmer

“Still can’t believe you opened the door on a toll road” mumbled the athletic blond Ann Takamaki at her companion.

Her companion, the artistic, blue haired Yusuke Kitagawa, shrugged his shoulders, “Can you blame me? I don’t want to do any more work.”

“Ann, he’s right. We need to do something for Morgana.” Ren piped in from the middle of the van the former Phantom Thieves of Heart were occupying

Ann immediately calmed, her uptight demeanor giving way to a sweet, almost motherly demeanor. Meanwhile, Morgana, the team’s talking, sometimes mystical cat perked up.

“Me? Why?”

“Because!” shouted Haru Okumaru, the tiny brunette of the group, “Poor wittle Morgana lived like a street cat for Lord knows how long.”

“Yeah!” Ryuji Sakamoto, a lanky yet muscular blond shouted, “We’re like, two hours from Yokohama right? Why don’t we make a mini road trip out of it? There’s cat cafes as far as the eye can fuckin’ see!”

“It’s settled then. We go to Yokohama and Morgana eats like a king.” Makato Nijima, the driver of the car proclaimed

“I second that notion!” Morgana shouted licking his lips.

Ryuji pierced the silence, “Ey if it’s okay with everyone else, I’m gonna catch some winks before we hit Yokohama, I feel like I haven’t slept since before final exams.”

“Yeah,” Ren agreed, “Same here.”

And with that, he drifted off to sleep.

**Yokohama, 7 PM**

“URRRRP!”

“Ryuji, you disgusting pig!” shouted Morgana

“Hey, he isn’t the one that farted so loud in the café everyone noticed!” shouted Futabah

Ren laughed, They’d spent most of the evening sampling all the cat cafes around town, at Morgana’s request. Now, they were walking down the sidewalk of a quaint older neighborhood, headed back to the van.

‘Guys, calm down, we need to…” Makato began, but she was cut off by a yawn, “Geez, I’m tired. I don’t think I could drive another minute.”

“Well, I’m not drivin” snapped Ryuji, which caused Yusuke and Futaba to roll their eyes simultaneously.

“Yokohama is known for its campgrounds” Haru interjected, “I could buy us all gear from a camping shop, we could spend the night some place, and be back on the road first thing in the morning.”

“I agree with that plan,” Yusuke half-heartedly said, as he was pulling out his sketchbook to sketch a bird that had landed on a nearby street lamp.

“Oh wow, I haven’t gone camping since I was a kid!” Ann shouted, her excitement palpable in the air now.

“Ugh, I’ve never been camping, all the bugs, and humidity and…”

“Futaba, I think you’ve been summarily outvoted. That, and no one wants to drive, so we’re doing it anyway.”

“Some President you are…” mumbled Futaba. 

Playfully, Makato stuck her tongue out at the younger girl.

“If you’ll allow me to take point on this…erm, mission, I studied camping gear while planning outings for my coffee bean excursions.”

**Yokohama 10:15 PM**

Ren reminisced on how the day had gone as he put on his sleep shirt. Haru had quickly bought all the camping gear, and so the rest of the evening was spent around a campfire in the wilderness at a campground, telling stories, reminiscing on the Phantom Thieves, and somewhat annoyingly, listening to the 8-bit sounds of a handheld video game Futaba insisted on playing instead of enjoying nature.

Now, inside of a tent the young man formally known as Joker watched as his girlfriend and tent-mate supermodel Ann Takamaki walked over to him. Before he could even marvel in the way she moved, a sashay formed ground into her habits from her many recent modeling jobs, she had pulled him close, nuzzling into his chest

“Ren, babe, I think it was really nice that you gave Morgana a nice day out.”

Ren grinned, “He can be obnoxious sure, but he’s the lynch pin of our group. If he hadn’t shown up The Phantom Thieves wouldn’t be a thing”

Ann grinned back, “Sure, Morgana might be a founder, but don’t sell yourself short. You held the crew together in the worst of times.”

Ren’s grin widened, “You gonna make a special day for me now?”

Ann smiled, lightly slapping Ren on the arm, “Maybe someday” she chided, “But for now, let’s just get to sleep. Makoto is gonna want to leave early in the morning, and half the morning is gonna be dragging Ryuji out of his tent.”

Ren chuckled, “For sure” he said as he and Ann tucked into their sleeping bags.

A few moments of silence and then

“Ren?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you baby.”

“Love you too Ann,” Ren whispered as the two crawled into bed without letting go of each other, eventually falling asleep.

**Unknown location**

His dream was like a chalk outline, of a place familiar, but not of a pleasant familiarity. Ren had been here before, under extreme duress.

_A prison? The Velvet Room? No_

Ren refused to believe it. The Velvet Room had dissipated, along with the rest of the dimension that occupied the Holy Grail and other supernatural forces they’d encountered. Surely, this was all fiction right?

Suddenly, a chalk drawing of a man appeared from nowhere. The man almost looked like a mythological hunchback, stumpy and short, with yellow, piercing eyes and a disturbingly long nose

“Igor? I thought you were dead” Ren asked

“I-I a-a-a-a-t thou. And thou a-a-a-r-t-t-t I” stammered the voice of Igor, “Y-y-y-o-u-r….time isn’t…..over…..thievesssssss”

**Back at the campground**

“MORGANA, HOLY SHIT”

Joker and Ann bolted up, hearing the scream of Futaba 

The rest of the Phantom Thieves jolted out of their tents in an unintentional synch, peering inside of Futaba and Morgana’s

Morgana had somehow transformed into the form he had taken in the realm of The Metaverse, with a shocked expression splayed across his rather cartoonish face.

“I….I…” stammered Morgana.

“I-I-I went to bed, Morgana was helping keep the mosquitos away and then I woke up and then I…”  
“Futaba, w-we need to keep calm. There’s gotta be some explanation as to why,” stuttered Makoto.

“Yeahhhh, but how are we gonna get Morgana out of here? Put him in a burlap sack?”

“RYUJI!” shouted Ann.

“No, Ryuji is probably right…” Haru began

Yusuke, who had stealthily snuck back to his own tent called out, “Does anyone else have several missed calls from Mishima?”

Joker went back to the tent, turning on his phone, and saw that he had had six missed calls from Mishima since midnight.

As if on cue, Joker’s phone rang. It was Mishima.

Joker scrambled to answer the call, “Is anything weird going on in your end because…?” Ren began

“DUDE I KNOW BUT LISTEN” shrieked Mishima, “Some weird cosplayer paid me money to tell you The Metaverse would be coming back and there was a job in it for you all.”

"Cosplayer...?"

“Guys, um….” Makoto piped in, “Check your phones.”

An app had installed on all their phones, a white logo with a black, off center crosshair.

“This isn’t The Metanav ..” deduced Ann.

“That symbol can’t be what I think it is,” nervously squeaked Futaba.

“Hmm? What do you think it is?” Haru asked.

“It’s a video game thing.”

“Guys, we need to access this app, regardless of what it is. If someone, or something, is powerful enough to re-manifest The Metaverse, this warrants our immediate investigation,” explained Joker picking his phone back up, "Don't mean to blow you off Mishima but..."

"No...it's fine, I'm just glad it's not too far out of your wheelhouse. Stay safe, That goes for all of you, assuming I'm on speakphone that is."

A throng of "hellos" and goodbyes" rang out from the Phantom Thieves as Joker hung the call up. "Alright guys, let's go."

Simultaneously, they all accessed the app. Like in The Metaverse, the world transformed around them. Gone was the campground, instead replaced with a desolate hallway. Gone were their sleep clothes, replaced with their Phantom Thieves gear.

“Ugh, more work…” Yusuke groaned.

"C'mon bro, get excited!" Ryuji snapped, his tone halfway between joking and serious. 

"I suppose whining about it won't do me any good," muttered Yusuke with a nod. 

“Morgana. form up on me. We’ll be taking point!” Ren shouted.

“You got it Joker!” Morgana shouted.

With that, they bolted down the hallway. After seemingly several minutes, they came upon a pitch black room at the other end of the hallway. The only light was a spotlight, and centered in that spotlight was an envelope

“Is this gonna be a boss key or…” openly pondered Futaba

Joker held a finger to his lips, stepping into the spotlight, and picking up the envelope. When he did, the lights came on. Joker’s head shot up, they were in a blank, sterile looking, dome of a room, for the exception of an observation deck located a floor up.

“So, I presume you’re the one a-known as Joker of the Phantom Thieves,” a voice came from an unknown speaker system.

“That voice. It can’t be…” Futaba gasped, her skin even paler than usual.

“Yeah, that’d be me. State your business.”

“My-a name is Mario Mario and I’m what you might consider the leader of an organization called the Super Smash Bros.”

A very loud ‘squee’ came from Futaba while the clammering began

“WHAT? SMASH BROS?” shouted Ryuji

“OH MY GOD. HOW DID I NOT REMEMBER? I USED TO PLAY IT ON THE N64 AS A KID ALL THE TIME” Ann laughed to herself.

“So, we have some recognition in your world, I see” Mario pondered.

“Yeah, as fictional characters.”

“We are-a far from fiction Joker. We were able to detect your exploits when you destroyed The Metaverse. The a-sudden disappearance of evil energy that happened as a result caught our attention. We’d like to induct you as a main member, with the rest of the Phantom Thieves as auxiliary members.”

“WE’LL TAKE IT! WE’LL TAKE IT! OH EM GEE WE’LL TAKE IT!” screamed Futaba, seemingly snapping out of a trance

“Yeah, we’ll take it.” Joker quickly said, trying to sound more professional than Futaba. “I assume there’ll be some kind of test.”

Mario chuckled, “Very perceptive. You’ll have a match under-a normal rules against the first person who volunteers.”

“I will. Something about his aura seems…off,” a gravelly voice growled.

“Okay Lucario, please-a step on the teleportation pad.”

There was a pause, and a blinding flash of light. When the light cleared, a blue furred creature with the body of a human but the face of a wolf was sneering at him, arms and legs poised as if he was about to take flight.

“Okay Joker, we’re going to test out the stage we’ve chosen to represent you, Mementos” came the voice of Mario once again

As if by magic, a device resembling a wrist watch appeared on Joker’s wrist.

“This is-a your damage a-meter. Pay attention to your percentage, the higher you go, the more likely you are to be knocked off. Your damage resets after each knockout. First person to-a knock their opponent off the stage 3 times a-wins. You get the Smash membership if you a-win. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir,”

“I’m glad. Now, everyone who isn’t Joker and Lucario, please move out into the hallway. You’ll be lead to the guest observation area. “

As the rest of the Phantom Thieves left the room, chittering amongst themselves about about this, Ann turned around, mouthing “You’ve got this Ren” as she blew Joker a kiss.

They stepped into the hallway, while a thick metal blast door shut behind them. Joker steeled himself. It had been a while since he’d been in a fight without the rest of his friends, but he’d manage. He _had_ to, additional recognition for himself and the rest of The Thieves depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally written in June 2019, so they effectively stole the whole "Phantom Thieves go on a road trip" thing from me with Phantom Strikers, not vice versa. Also as the Royal continuity didn't exist yet, there won't be any reference to that here. But I have plans for Kasumi, Maruki and the gang.


	8. Origins: Joker (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker fights Lucario, with the Phantom Thieves' relationship with the Smashers on the line.

**Origins: Joker (Part 2)**

Joker immediately became overwhelmed by the sights and sounds around him as the domed room faded from view, and was replaced unending darkness only by a glossy, modern computer matrix font in the distance.

**Rules: 3 Stock, Items: Smash Ball, low Bob-ombs, low . No Time Limit**

**Stage: Momentos**

**Music: “Get Up, Get Out There”**

**Loading…**

As the word “loading’ hung in the air, Joker glanced over at Lucario. The blue fox humanoid was standing in a meditative pose, his eyes closed as his wrist burned with blue flame

Suddenly, the world of Momentos snapped into view. Lucario was standing across the polygonal platform, his chest now forward, arms spread, letting out a quick growl

“I’m ready for ya!” Joker shouted

**3**

Lucario frowned

**2**

Joker tightened his grip around his holstered gun

**1**

Both competitors stiffened, as to break into a sprint

**GO!**

Lucario sprinted forward. Joker unholstered his gun, firing the weapon at Lucario. Seemingly, the bullets did nothing as the Pokemon advanced forward. Joker leaped into the air, allowing his body to spiral downward, firing the gun onto Lucario as he fell.

**Joker: 0%, 3 stocks**

**Lucario: %10, 3 stocks**

Joker shook his head as he briefly looked at his wrist device.

 _Can’t afford to be distracted,_

Joker ran at Lucario, who had stepped away, and continued to step away. Similarly, on instinct, Joker found himself darting backward when Lucario attempted to close the gap.

Joker snapped his fingers, and a pebble-sized burst of dark energy appeared, colliding with Lucario. Lucario’s eyes went wide as Joker closed the gap with two lunging kicks in rapid succession. Again, Joker snapped his fingers but found that Lucario struck a wild karate-esque stance, disappearing, and sliding into his shins with a sliding sweep. Joker felt himself flying backward as if he were on the moon. Lucario leaped into the air, thrusting his palm into his chest. A blast rocketed from his palm. Everything seemed to slow down around Joker as he felt the impact as if he’d been punched directly in the heart. Joker fell to a 3-point stance on the ground. With a carnal roar, Lucario leaped into the air. Joker unsheathed his knife now, and threw the blade into the air, catching Lucario off guard. Next, Joker leaped into the air, catching his knife and twisting his body to hit Lucario multiple times with a kick. Again, Joker fell to the ground in a three-point stance. Unlike last time, however, a blue aura trailed behind, seemingly propelling the creature like a rocket. Acting on instinct, Joker pulled out his grappling hook, shooting to catch the Pokemon out of the air. He succeeded, but Lucario was expecting it, as again, he struck his kata as Joker reeled back to land an elbow strike as his opponent was pulled in.

And then Joker felt it. His pain threshold was at maximum, and that can only mean one thing

“ **PERSONA!”** Joker bellowed

In a brief flash of blue flame, a bat-winged demon wearing a tophat appeared. Lucario’s eyes widened, as he noticed that Joker’s masquerade mask had also disappeared, leaving Lucario to stare directly into firey, passion-filled eyes that hadn’t been present in Joker’s demeanor before.

“I see your flames have grown stronger Lucario” shouted Joker, “I’d assume that’s what you meant by Aura? Well? Come then! Do something!” 

Lucario roared, using Extreme Speed. But, the top hat-wearing demon spread its wings, flying in the opposite direction away. As his Extreme Speed came to a stop, he darted back to where he was, charging up an Aura Sphere, maxing out its power, and firing the ball. Joker pressed his finger to his temple, and the blue flames rose up again this time bouncing the Aura Sphere back at Lucario. He didn’t have much time to react as the ball made of pure energy collided with him, blasting him out of the blast zone.

**Joker: 3 Stocks**

**Lucario: 2 stocks**

Meanwhile, in the control room, an 80-seat auditorium above the domed room, all the veterans were watching the movie theater screen which displayed the fight. In front, hunched over a computer monitor were Mario and Shulk.

“What was that-a? Is that what a Persona is?” asked a shocked Mario

“As I understand, that’s the one they call Arsene, Ren’s first Persona.”

Mario put his hand to his chin in thought,

“And how are the other Phantom Thieves?”

Shulk wordlessly patched the camera feed on his computer through to one of the luxury viewing boxes, where the rest of the Phantom Thieves sat, in silence

“Other than the one calling Ryuji saying some things I wouldn’t let Isabelle hear in surprise, and the cat shushing him, they’ve had their eyes glued to the screen.”

Mario smiled, “Attentive a-young people, I like it. The cat is a-money, he should be out there with Joker in a taunt capacity. What do you think?”

“Wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world sir,” Shulk said with a grin, “Also, the orange-haired girl has a laptop out.”

Mario frowned, brushing his mustache in thought, “Can she hack any of our systems?”

“I mean….perhaps? Not everyone with a laptop is a-“

“If she does, let it play out.”

“What?” Shulk gasped.

“If she tries to hack the battlefield system, stop it obviously, but beyond that, see what she does.”

“Y-yes sir.”

After Lucario felt a sensation of complete darkness, he found himself on the recovery platform, glaring down at Joker, who stood confident on the leftmost edge of the field. He closed his eyes. He felt the demon, likely what he had unknowingly sensed in the young man’s Aura before, growing weaker. He let himself grin as it disappeared.

“Return” he heard Joker say.

This intrigued Lucario.

_Such a young man, with such control of his power. No matter._

Lucario leaped to Joker’s position, reaching out for another Force Palm. As it had before, energy pulsed up Lucario’s arm, and into Joker’s chest. Unlike last time, a flash of blue light right at the point of impact. And then nothing.  
“What?” growled Lucario, grabbing the already weakened Joker.

Lucario growled once again, slugging Joker a few times in the stomach for good measure and throwing him across the arena into the blast zone.

**Lucario: 2 stocks**

**Joker; 2 stocks**

The second the knockout was confirmed, Lucario began to charge and Aura Sphere. As he had predicted, Joker came to his next stock guns blazing. Lucario sidestepped the blows by hopping backward, continuing to charge the Aura Sphere. As he finished, Joker ran forward, hitting him with his running two kick combo. Lucario let the first kick hit him and struck his parry pose just as the second kick connected. Joker’s eyes widened briefly, which gave Lucario the opportunity to grab him, this time, slamming Joker into the ground. Joker bounced into the air. In synch with this, Lucario leaped into the air, letting off a series of aura infused stretching kicks, knocking Joker farther and farther to one side of the stage. Wordlessly, Arsene appeared again, spreading his wings, flying Joker towards Lucario, which Lucario could only sidestep. Lucario bolted to center stage where Joker was, only to be hit with a much more explosive version of a Joker’s finger-snapping move earlier. It felt as though the pain had enveloped his entire body. Now it was Joker’s turn to grab and pummel Lucario, throwing him up into the air, and hitting him with a raised fist. As Joker flew further into the air, Lucario once again flew into the air with Extreme Speed. Now, as Joker hit the floor and scrambled to his feet, Lucario grabbed Joker, hammering him a few times in the gut, and bicycle kicking him in the jaw, sending him up into the air. Lucario followed suit, jumping himself As he flew, he felt the air around him rumble, as if he were on the ground. That’s when a ceiling, similar in hue to the general area’s red and black, came into view. Lucario body checked Joker with Extreme Speed, sending him flying into the wall, and down again. Lucario had it perfectly timed, launching his Aura Sphere. A flash of blue light surrounded his opponent, and his Aura Sphere came flying right back at him. Lucario felt his burning Aura connect, pushing him towards the left most corner of the new ceiling. Lucario had “teched” a maneuver like this before, but not on this new stage, not when the wall wasn’t something he had prepared for. Lucario felt the shock of hitting the corner of the wall, as he flew into the lower abyss of the blast zone.

**Joker: 2 stocks**

**Lucario: 1 Stock**

Meanwhile, The Smashers were watching intently, as Shulk and Mario manned the computer, “Hm,” Shulk grunted, his eyes flashing with intrigue, “ Joker’s adapting better than I thought he would. Then, I suppose you don’t go from high school kid to subconscious altering thief without learning how to adapt,”

“Touche my friend. Now, let’s see what happens when we introduce items,” Mario said, a mischievous smirk overtaking his lips.

Lucario appeared on the recovery platform again, middle stage. Joker was to his rightmost point, where a Bob-omb had just appeared at the stage’s left most point. Joker’s Persona had disappeared, and he had taken notice of the Bob-omb but seemed confused. Lucario let the platform de-materialize underneath him, casually stepping to where the Bob-omb was. He ran at Joker, Joker ran at him. Lucario through the bomb. As the explosive sailed through the air, Lucario saw Joker activate his countering shield, but half a second too late, as the arcane energy dissipated just as the bomb connected with the young man. Joker flew first horizontally and then ambled down. Suddenly, he removed another device from his pocket. The device fired a grappling hook, which connected onto the ledge of the stage, and hoisted Joker up. Lucario bolted, jumping above Joker, and shooting as much aura energy as he could down, knocking a surprised Joker to the blast zone.

**Joker: 1 stock**

**Lucario: 1 stock**

Meanwhile, in the luxury box which contained the rest of the Phantom Thieves, a thick silence hung in the air

“God, I hate items,” Ryuji groaned.

Makoto angrily shushed him, “Don’t be surprised if we see items in the next round.”

“Hm?” Yusuke asked.

“This is a test. A test that’s being created live as it happens. Whoever’s controlling the playing field no doubt noticed items are the one thing Ren didn’t plan for.”

“Makoto-san, you’re right. Look!” piped the voice of Haru.

Onscreen, Bob-ombs had littered the playing field, almost as often as either competitor could throw them. Damage percentage was already in the high sixties for both Lucario and Joker. The room again fell silent, broken as soon as it began by an extra-mischievous, “heh heh heh” from Futaba, who was tinkering with her laptop.

“Futaba?” nervously asked Ann, “What the hell are you doing?”

“Let’s just say if this ends how I _think_ it’s going to end, the Smashers are in for one hell of a surprise.”

“That laugh of yours is equal parts mystifying and terrifying,” Yusuke said, a worried tone lingering in his usually smooth voice.

“Yeah, but cool shit usually happens! I can’t wait!” Ryuji declared.

“Only if Ren wins,” warned Futaba.

Back on the artificially created Momentos, Bob-ombs had begun to appear on the battlefield, and, to put it frankly, it had been a war. Arsene had appeared relatively early, and several times. By the same token, Lucario’s recovery and use of Extreme Speed had only been aided by the high damage. A bright, rainbow-colored orb had appeared. Lucario had immediately taken notice of it, charging an Aura Sphere. When it appeared to be full power, Lucario launched the sphere.

_He’s trying to break it_

Joker’s fingers drummed on his gun.

The sphere connected with the multi-colored orb, cracking it.

“NOW!”

Joker leaped into the air, pointing his body down, and spinning in the air firing a barrage of shots down at the ball. The ball broke, its multi-colored energy latching itself onto Joker.

“Woah. I’ve never felt power like this.”

As Joker fell to the ground, he looked at his wrist device.

**Joker: %120, 1 stock**

**Lucario: %120, 1 stock**

“NO! NO!” Lucario bellowed, sprinting towards Joker.

Joker closed his eyes, letting the power overtake him, as he would when allowing a Persona to use their most feared attack. As if carried by a supernatural force, Joker dashed towards Lucario, slashing him It was then that he felt the presence of Ann and Yusuke beside him.

“Time for an all-out attack!” he heard Futaba shout.

The three attacked Lucario with as much speed and power as they could muster, with Joker delivering one slash, adjusting his glove to watch the demonic ooze pour as he had so many times before.

“ **THE SHOW’S OVER!”**

**“GAME!”**

Mario couldn’t help but chuckle as Shulk fidgeted with the computer controls, “What what what? They went to the Victory courtyard, but it’s stuck on the screen.”

“Can you still pull up stats and purses?”

“Y-yeah but I can’t see J-“

“Stow yourself Shulk, this is what the girl called Futaba was doing!”

“WOAH! THAT LOOKS SO COOL!” Ness bellowed, his eyes fixated on the screen, which stayed frozen on a red and grey hued Joker with a shit-eating grin on his face, while Lucario seemed to pour sparkles from a wound

“And that,” Mario concluded, looking over his shoulder at a slackjawed Ness, “Is all I need to see that The Phantom Thieves and their-a tricks are gonna be money with the 18-30 demo. Shut down the simulation Shulk.”

Shulk laughed, “You’re starting to sound more like Master Hand every day sir.”

Joker found himself standing the middle of the domed room, what the room had been before it became Momentos. He found himself face to face with short, red-clad, man with a mustache.

“Joker,” he said, extending his hand, “Allow me to be the first to welcome you and your team to the Smash a-Brotherhood!”

Joker shook the hand in turn, “We’re happy to be here.”

Suddenly, a door opened. Ann was the first through, followed by Futaba and the others. Ann first leaped to hug Joker, as did the others. The group hug jumped up and down in celebration as Joker laughed.

“I knew you could do it dude!” shouted Ryuji.

“And if he knows something, everyone can figure it out’ quipped Morgana.

Ryuji shot him a playful look as Mario cleared his throat, “So, a few things you should know before we begin here. For the tournament you’ll be staying in a suite, you’ll all be getting your own bedrooms within the suite. Also, this place exists outside of what’s traditionally a-known as time-space, so you’ll lose no summer vacation time. Also, Morgana, would you be comfortable accompanying Joker and taunting opponents occasionally”

“I’d follow this kid to the ends of the earth Mister Mario!” agreed Morgana.

“Woah! For real? We won’t lose vacation? ” shouted Ryuji.

Mario chuckled, “For real indeed. Now, let’s go meet the group,”

Mario snapped his fingers, and another door opened on the opposite wall. The Phantom Thieves followed Mario through and found that a small flight of stairs lead to the observation deck, where all the other Smashers sat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please a-welcome Joker, and new auxiliary members, The Phantom Thieves of Heart!’

With that, the occupants of the auditorium filtered towards the front, everyone eager to chat with their new allies. Ren and Ann caught a glimpse of each other in the forming crowd, nodding to one another. Suddenly, Lucario stepped to the front of the crowd, “I kept the match basic to test your mettle. A battle in the arena of Smash is much more similar to a real fight than you might believe, and you must be clever to win.”

“Down here, salt is a way of life,” Futaba mocked, using her best narrator voice.

Ryuji and Yusuke both avoided eye contact to hide their snickering, but the rest of the Phantom Thieves and Lucario were glaring at her with great annoyance on their face.

“Thank you for the information Lucario-san.” Joker said with a bow.

Lucario tersely nodded before he melted back into the crowd. As Joker went back to pleasantries with the other Smashers, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to be a wild summer, for better or for worse.


	9. Origins: Erdrick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hero of Dragonquest III has been dreaming of a man with an ornate shield, and an argumentative round table of others like him. What does this mean?

**Origins: Erdrick**

**Smash Mansion, catacombs**

The Fighting Wire Frame opened the sliding glass door, and Link stepped through. When he did, he immediately noticed Mario and Shulk hunched over a computer monitor in the throughs of conversation

“…and if we layer this universe by dimensions, you can see there’s a middle point….”

“Where they’re-a connecting. Interesting…” Mario said to his blond counterpart, rubbing his chin.

“You…uh….wanted to see Mario?” sheepishly interrupted Link.

Mario sprang from his huddled over position, “Ah!” Link!” he shouted with his usual gleeful greeting, “We’ve-a got a mission for you,” he said, gesturing to the computer.

Link took a space next to the duo to look at the monitor. On the screen appeared to be a list of names, none of which Link recognized

“Hand Protocols.” Link sighed

Shulk nodded, “Indeed! This is another one of the dimensions Hand’s been keeping an eye on since before he kicked the bucket. This is one of the oldest, up there with guys like Cloud’s old entry”

Link raised an eyebrow, “And this one is special because…?”

“Of all the dimensions Hand’s been keeping an eye on, this one has had the most consistent ebb and flow of good to evil energy, in that evil will appear and be vanquished by good, every couple ‘a-years. But it came up on our radar because there’s a small space in which the dimensions are converging and de-converging.”

“We think,” Shulk piped in, “ Conker screwing with the Smash Core is causing this divergence, and, from what we’ve been able to gather, they’re looking into how to stop it too.”

Shulk typed a button combination on the computer, and on the big screen came an image of a man with spikey hair, a multi-colored tunic, holding an ancient-looking sword.

“This is our newest recruit. Erdrick of Alefgard. He’s one of the many heroes to take the name Erdrick, the name of an ancient hero, but Master Hand had his eye on this-a guy specifically.”

Link frowned, “And I’m doing the recruiting? Why do I do all the sword guy recruiting? Marth and I had to recruit this guy”, Link said, gesturing to Shulk, “Dark Pit, Palutena, and many others? Why me?”

Mario smirked, “I suppose you’d have me send Samus and her arm cannon from space to these guys who’s idea of advanced technologically is a weathervane.”

Link thought about it for a moment, “You do have a point.”

“Plus,” Mario countered, “You’re-a the best swordsman I know. Never forget that _fratello_ “

Link smiled, which prompted smiles from both of the other men in the room, Mario broke the silence, “So get some sleep, we’ll let you know when this cabal gets back together, and you’re gonna drop in on ‘em.”

Link nodded, “Will do boss,” said the Hyrule warrior, as he about-faced out of the room.

For the past month, the man known as Erdrick had had a dream. A dream of a young man with an ornate shield being overtaken by puppets of darkness. The area was familiar to him as he watched. It was a lush, green, field, with the only thing differentiating it from any other field in Alefgard were some ancient ruins scattered about. Men like him rushed to help, but he was the lynchpin.

He had become familiar with the men too. If he wasn’t having _that_ dream, he was whisked away to some magical place where he conversed with those men about the dream. Even though in the dream he had three allies, around the oaken table sat ten other men Frankly, Erdrick found the meetings boring, despite his great respect for the men. They had ascertained that each of them was a Luminary, connected either spiritually or ancestrally to Erdrick the Great, the hero of legend who had first vanquished evil in Alefgard centuries ago. Beyond those revelations, however, the meetings were never very productive, especially when it came to discussing the dream, or how they were all able to meet, as all nine of his counterparts were as confused as he. That was, until one night.

“Aye, looks like we’re back ‘ere again” moaned a red bandana clad young man, one of the men from the dream.

“I’ve put some thought into this gentlemen” began a young man clad in a black and purple mage outfit, “And I believe we’ve all been summoned here because we’re needed in a cataclysmic struggle of some kind.”

“Well,” snarled a green-haired man, slamming his fist down onto the oaken table, “Why don’t dis cataclysm show itself instead of just summonin’ us here like a bunch o’ mangy jackasses?

As if on cue, a light shown in the barren, marble room in which they resided. Out of the light stepped a young man with scruffy, blond hair. But, Erdrick recognized something familiar immediately.

“That shield,” remarked Erdrick, “You’re the man from the dream”

“Aye” sleepily remarked the stranger, “I be Link. I’m looking for the man named Erdrick.”

“That be me,” said Erdrick

Link smirked, “Should’ve figured the most observant one was the one Mario wanted. Erdrick, I come to you because, as the youngest of you determined, you are needed for assistance with a great cataclysm that is yet to come. In the meantime, however, we would like you to participate in a tournament amongst all of our members. Do you accept?”

Erdrick opened his mouth to speak, but the rude green-haired man cut him off, “Oi! Why him ‘an not me? Or any of us for zat matter?”

That set off a chain of hushed bickering around the oaken table. Erdrick looked to Link, who looked incredibly tired, and not in the mood to interject.

“ENOUGH!” boomed a man in an orange helmet, “Erdrick hath been chosen for a reason, one that is too grand for any of us to comprehend! Instead of bickering like children, I propose, nay, demand, that we all provide our assistance to Erdrick. Our adventuring days have long since passed by varying degrees, so if we can save the world one last time by giving our knowledge, then that is what I suggest we do!”

A murmur of agreement pursed the room as Link offered a hand for Erdrick to take. Erdrick stood slowly from his position at the table, walking over to Link, and taking his hand in solidarity.

“Now, I’m no expert on the magic mumbo jumbo. However, I think it’d be safe to assume you’re all interconnected somehow, and that you can talk to Erdrick without summoning him here. Now, Erdrick, if you just hang on a minute here.”

“Hang on to wha-?”

Link snapped his fingers, and in a brilliant light, the two teleported away. When the light dissipated, Erdrick found himself in a courtyard in an enormous mansion in the dead of night

“This is the Smash Mansion. You’ll be residing here until the tournament concludes at the very least. Now, you’ll get a room assignment eventually, but not tonight, so you can crash on my floor.”

“Crash?” confusedly asked Erdrick.

Link sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, “Don’t worry about it, it was difficult for me to pick up on other people’s verbiage when I first came here. Anyway, I’ve set aside space for you to sleep. Please follow me.”

Then, seemingly at his verbal command, the doors swung open, and the two walked inside. As the doors shut behind them, Erdrick noticed the crest that had been in the courtyard also stood in the middle of the foyer. Link pressed some buttons on a keypad he had on his wrist as they stepped into the middle of the crest. Another flash of light ensued, except this time when they were in a bedroom when it dissipated. Two lush looking king-sized beds occupied the room, with space in between them. One of the beds was occupied by a small child, who murmured and turned at their sudden entrance. Link nonchalantly gestured at the space between the beds as he flopped into his own. Erdrick nodded, getting as comfortable as he could.

_I’ve slept in worse inns, that’s for sure_ thought Erdrick with a grin as he drifted off to sleep.


	10. Origins: Banjo-Kazooie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banjo and Kazooie are relaxing on Spiral Mountain in the months after Nuts and Bolts when they get a visit from an old friend and a pretender to the crown.

**Origins: Banjo-Kazooie**

It was a sunny day in the Spiral Mountain region, a deserted rural county on the outer rims of the Isle O’ Hags. A lone, brightly painted cabin stood at the bottom of the intimidating mountain, the base of which was crafted in the shape of an ugly witch. . Under the shade of the house was the duo that had brought the witch to her demise. He was a bear, wearing a pair of yellow shorts. Perched beside him was an orange bird, with yellow wingtips. They were Banjo and Kazooie. Between them was a sizeable jar of lemonade, about 3/4s full. Suddenly, the sugary drink started to ripple as the sound of a plane could be heard roaring overhead. Banjo squinted, and he could see the source of the noise was a somewhat rickety-looking red biplane. Banjo’s eyes widened when he noticed the red hat of the chimpanzee piloting the plane.

“Diddy!” the bear called out, his muscular arm waving in the air.

Diddy landed the plane directly in front of them, leaping out of the cockpit and on to the ground. It was at that point Banjo noticed the chimp had added a ratty leather fanny pack to his attire.

“This is Diddy Kong? Thought he’d be bigger,” sarcastically squawked the bird.

“Kazooie, don’t be rude to our guest.”

Diddy smirked, “You forget who my old man is. I’m used to a bit of rudeness.”

“Yeah. I s’pose,” Banjo remarked, his nonchalant gaze finally snapping to the backmost seat of the biplane, “Uh….who’re your friends?”

Out of the seat ambled a brown hunting dog and a waterfowl, the fowl perched onto the dog’s back.

“Oh! That’s Otis and Mikey, collectively known as The Duck Hunt Duo.”

“I coulda told you that!” snapped Kazooie “ _Somebody_ couldn’t be arsed to get out of bed to watch the tournament at Mumbo’s Hut a few years back!”

“I was busy training…” whined Banjo, “And my sleep schedule was messed up cause of it.”

“Excuses excuses,” said Kazooie with a sneer, “AND YOU!”

“Me?” asked Diddy, as the Duck Hunt Duo approached from behind.

“Yeah, you! You bring these bootlegs on our doorstep, and for what? Just to rub it on our…?”

Diddy wordlessly retrieved an envelope from the fanny pack, flipping the envelope around to reveal a Smash logo.

“JINJO ON A CRACKER!” squealed Kazooie, excreting a blue egg in excitement,

“Guh-huh!” cheered Banjo, “Wow, it’s finally time eh? Was startin’ to wonder if you’d forgotten about your ole pal Banjo.”

“Nah, Donkey Kong’s dealings with the Mushroom Kingdom keep me outta local geopolitics.”

“But unfortunately,” Otis began “That’s what we came here to talk to you guys about.”

Immediately, Banjo’s expression darkened as did Kazooie’s, “Guess we can’t stay outta Conker’s business no longer Kazooie.”

“You know?” Otis inquired.

“We don’t know all the details, but we figured. He made an offer to us to join his high court when he became king, but I wasn’t too sure about it." Banjo said, his voice somber.

“Yeah, Banjo’s told me his stories about you all a million times and even I could tell second hand this wasn’t the same Conker.”

“Plus we wanted to stay retired except for the car thing…” Banjo began

“Oh Jinjo, the car thing!” moaned Kazooie.

“Car….thing?” asked Diddy

“The data L.O.G collected,” Mikey piped up

“Wait, you know L.O.G?” Banjo asked incredulously.

“Know him? L.O.G was Master Hand in disguise! Mario’s taken his position since, but Master Hand’s been collecting data on you guys since the first tourney!” Otis explained

“Well isn’t that a fun little twist?” Banjo chided.

“Yeah, if you like bad fanfiction ” mumbled Kazooie.

“ANYWAY,” Diddy piped in. “Conker’s been in possession of the Smash Core for about five years now, and only just started flexing his muscles now. He recently restored Gruntilda and Wizpig to full form. We fear he’s gathering up a roster of villains from universes in which they won.”

“Oh man, so we really can’t stay out, can we?” Banjo groaned, “We’re just sorry we ain’t been such good friends lately Diddy.”

“You can’t help it old friend. What, the way Isle o’Hags has been in dimentional flux after Sonic…”

“Enough about that! I still lose sleep over the Metacritic reviews! What I wanna know is if there’s a tourney!” squawked Kazooie, violently flapping her wings in place.

“Kazooie, I think there are more important things going on than a…” Banjo started in an angry whisper, but was interrupted by Otis.

“You bet there is!” the blood hound said gleefully, “That’s kinda our cover! Interdimensional sports league by day! Interdimensional crime-fighting league by night.”

“That’s fantastic if that’s the case! We’d be happy to join ya!” Banjo explained

Kazooie rubbed her wings together, “Eheehee. Mumbo’s gonna bet against us for sure. Time to rob that mumbling shaman blind!”

“Kazooie!” shouted Banjo.

“So we roll the dice. See where they may fall. Come on, why don't we spin the wheel See whom it may call to give into temptation to win it or maybe lose it all. Who knows where the whims of fate may lead us,” sang Kazooie mischeviously.

“I think I’m in love…” cooed Mikey.

“Jiggy Wiggy have mercy,” Banjo drawled, rubbing his temples, “She’s been playin’ Persona 5 lately, stuck on one of the palaces, or at least, that’s what she claims.”

“Hey!” Kazooie squawked, “I can’t help it if Whims of Fate is a jam Banjo.”

“That sounds like a Joker thing. He’s the guy we just recruited,” said Diddy with a coy smile.

“B-WHAT?” Kazooie stammered, her wings once again flapping violently, “C’mon Banjo, let’s get to flying! The sooner we get there, the sooner we can be Phantom Thieves.”

“Guys, I’m sorry. Kazooie is just…rude,” Banjo sighed.

“Hey! It’s not like I’m gonna drag my talons on being a friggin Phantom Thief you’ve got another thing coming mister!”

“Oh man, it’s not a big deal big guy, she’s just excited. If you think she’s bad, you should try and meet Wario,” Diddy proclaimed with a knowing smirk.

“Trust me, I’m used to it. She just rubs people the wrong way, but I know that Kazooie’s the best friend you could ever have. Wait…who’s Wario?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to meet him,” Otis whimpered.

“Guess ya gotta take the good with the bad.”

“Gonna be a Phantom Thief,” Kazooie mumbled with a childlike glee.

“I think we oughta get movin’ before Kazooie has a conniption fit.”

“You and me both,” said Otis, knowing throwing knowing eyes up at Mikey, who hadn’t taken his lovesick eyes off of Kazooie since her singing escapade earlier.

And so, the five headed to Diddy’s biplane without a word. The initial moments of the flight were silent until Mikey spoke up.

“Hey…Kazooie, do you wanna, maybe…build a nest sometime?”

“Blow it out your-“  
“KAZOOIE!” Banjo shouted as Spiral Mountain disappeared into the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this was almost exclusively dialogue. That said, it is one of the more improved chapters, and I'm very proud of it! Thank you for reading.


	11. Origins: Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the dead of night, Mario and ROB have to put up with a certain uninvited guest. Will he be a skele-ton of help, or will the Smash administrators be rubbed to the bone by the guest's sense of humor?

**Origins: Sans**

It was a few hours past midnight, and all was silent in the Smash Mansion. Those who had arrived had all settled into their rooms, sound asleep. Such was the case for one of the biggest suites in the mansion, where, on the large bed with a luxurious curtained canopy, Mario Mario and Princess Peach lay, Peach snuggled into Mario’s chest, and for a moment, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom was in pure bliss. The bliss snapped as quickly as it had begun when Mario’s wrist watch-esque communicator/transporter began to ring. flashing a neon blue light in its center as it did. Peach groaned, rolling off of Mario, scrambling to her side of the bed for one of the many, many decorative pink pillows that were hers placing one of the frilly, gold trimmed pillows aggressively on her head in some vain attempt to stop the noise. Mario meanwhile, sleepily scrambled over to the bedside table, fumbling for a few seconds before pressing the center button. When he did, the metallic face of ROB appeared on the screen. ROB was the night watchman of the technologies that The Hands had invented. As he was a robot powered by a perpetual energy source of an alien nature, he didn’t need sleep. That aside, ROB was a prudent, no-nonsense sort, and he wouldn’t contact him if it wasn’t important.

“ROB?” a tired Mario groaned out.

“Master Mario, I do not mean to intrude upon your sleep cycle, but there’s an anomaly that the Core Machine is tracking, which requires your attention immediately.”

“Grrgh. I’ll be right down-a” mumbled Mario, throwing on a bathrobe as he scuttled out of the suite and down the hall.

**The Core Machine Room**

It had taken him longer than he would’ve liked, but Mario finally came through the sliding glass doors of the Core Machine Room, to find ROB staring unblinkingly at a map. Mario briefly glanced up at it, as he could see a blue dot ping-ponging across multiple maps of multiple universes.

“ROB-a….what can even do that?” tiredly asked Mario.

“According to energy signatures I’ve been able to pick up in the brief time it is immobile, it’s almost identical to our Core Machine.”

Mario felt a coldness wash over him.

“Conker?” Mario asked, barely able to get the words out

“Negative. Your realm is being monitored, and the energy signature did not originate from there.”

“Where did it originate from then?”

“Unknown.”

“How much time until it gets here?”

“Seconds, assuming he picks up on our Core Machine’s energy signature. Shall I sound an alarm?”

Mario held up his hand, “No. We determine if it’s hostile, and we go from there”

“Affirmative.’

Suddenly, a blue light erupted from seemingly nowhere, blinding Mario briefly. When he regained his sight, he saw a short skeletal figure standing on a much smaller version of the circular Core Machine he, Shulk and others often stood in. The skeleton was smiling widely, wearing a blue housecoat, with a t-shirt underneath it, shorts, socks, and house slippers.

“Sup?” said the skeleton man in a slow, apathetic drawl.

“No, I’m the one who asks the questions around here! What I want to know is what’s ‘sup’ with the device you just rode in here on?”

“Oh, this? My friend built it, a long time ago. Just got it up and running today” the skeleton said, in the same drawl.

“Your….friend?”

“Yeah. He…was, a real science genius where I come from.”  
Mario took note of the stranger’s unchanging tone of voice. The guy, whoever he was, was a pacifist.

“Pardon me for asking” ROB interrupted, “But did he also have something to do with the blaster on your arm?”

Mario’s eyes snapped to the skeleton creature’s right hand immediately. He had a gun mounted to his arm, that almost looked like the blue-eyed face of some horrific creature.

“Yeah” the skeleton responded.

Silence hung in the air, before Mario cleared his throat, “Who are you and where do you come from?”

“My name’s Sans. I come from a place called The Underground. I’ve been building this machine to get out of there.”

“Is your realm in danger?”

Sans sighed, “Well, yes and no. The timeline resets every so often. I tried everything, even thought fighting the human might help when they went off, but that didn’t even work. Thought it was best for everyone, and me, if I just bounced to the one place with a similar energy signature to my machine. You could say the day to day life was, driving me out of my skull”

Sans’ gaze snapped from Mario to a far off gaze at something Mario couldn’t see. Mario tried to follow his gaze, but for all he knew, Sans was just looking at the wall.

“So….um…” Mario was bewildered. He’d never met someone like Sans before, “The timeline in your world….resets-a, and you’re aware of that?”

“Yes.”

“Are you familiar with the Multiverse theory?”

“Dude, I read theoretical physics books for fun. Of course, I know about the Multiverse theory.”

Mario once again cleared his throat, “My name’s Mario. I lead a group called The Super Smash Brothers. Our public-a persona is that of a multi-dimensional fighting league. But privately we’re something of a peacekeeping task force, only getting together when a multiverse level threat appears. The energy source that powers this land, similar to the one that powers your machine, is in the hands of an evil despot, who’s amassing something of an army. We plan to conduct a tournament while waiting for dis-a despot to strike. We have a “gunner” role that’s got an opening. Would you-a mind joining us?”

“We get to wait until something happens and I get slotted into a pre-assigned roll? Excellent, I’m in.”

Sans extended his hand, Mario extended his. The two hands clasped.

**Pffffffft**

Sans giggled, “Ahhhh, whoopee cushion in the hand trick. Classic.”

“Seven stars above” Mario muttered as he stared at his own hand in shock

Again, Sans chuckled, “You’re just like my brother.”

Suddenly, Sans gasped, jarring Mario.

“So wait, all your tech still works despite the power source being who knows where?” he asked

“Yes. It’s quite powerful.”

“Rad. Something that powerful could make it so that my timeline doesn’t get rewritten over and over.”

“Perhaps. After our mission’s over, our guy who’s more experienced in this might be able to manipulate things.”

“Good enough for me.”

Mario nodded, “ROB, show Sans to one of the open rooms. It’ll take us a couple of days to get everyone settled, so feel free to make yourself at home till then."

“Great.” Sans said, “Hey, uh, do you have any ketchup? I’m really hungry.”

“Yeah, ROB’ll get you a bottle before bed” Mario explained as ROB lead Sans away.

_A slacker scientist who plays pranks and drinks ketchup like juice. Man, how’d Hand deal with dis-a crap?_ thought Mario.

Mario dialed a number key in his communicator's holographic keyboard. After a few rings, the sleepy visage of Princess Peach appeared

“Is everything okay love?” she asked

“Yeah, there’s a skeleton man here who rode in here on a similar device to our Core Machine. He’s the newest Smasher, and he wants ketchup.”

A pause then, “What?”

“Heck if I-a know.”

“Honey, your brain sounds fried. Come up to bed.”

Mario smiled. She was warm, empathetic, and caring to everyone she even remotely respected, and he was her number one.  
  
_I'm-a one lucky guy._

“I will babe. But do you want a juice or anything to take on your morning run with Wii Fit?”

“Mario, her name’s Miss Trainer. Only the Hands called her that."

“Yeah, shoot, sorry. Been reading and re-reading the Hand Protocols lately, got their weird verbiage stuck in my head.”

“I understand, you have a lot to think about. Don’t worry about the juice my dear. I’ll get it myself. You might bring me up a bottle of ketchup by mistake.”

Mario laughed, “You know, the way this-a night has gone, that’s possible. I’ll be up in a minute. Love you, babe.”

“I love you too Mario,” Peach said as she closed her commlink.

Mario shook the cobwebs from his head, leaving the Core Machine Room.

_She’s-a right, my brain is fried like a good toasted ravioli. Need to delegate my authority I think,_ thought the leader of the Smashers as he trudged back up to the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as Sans got announced as a Mii Costume I knew I had to include him. He's one of my favorite characters to write for, and I hope you enjoy him too! Thank you for reading.


	12. Origins: Terry Bogard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario sends Marth, Roy, and Corrin to compete in a tournament in mid-90s Mexico City to evaluate and recruit Terry Bogard. Between the tournament, and the rise of criminal magnate Rugal, what shenanigans will ensue?

**Origins: Terry Bogard**

**Smash Conference Room: Afternoon**

Corrin walked down the ornate hallway to the conference room, Just to the left and down a hallway when standing in the main foyer, the dark-haired Hoshidan princess couldn’t hide her confusion as she proceeded down it. Of all these mythic gods, heroes and all, she felt she’d earned the least. Sure, unifying the kingdoms of her birth and the kingdom she was adopted into was no easy task, but even those who’d done more understated feats, like the Ice Climbers, for example, did it with charisma and confidence. She, however, was a wallflower, constantly unsure of where she stood, where she belonged.

_So why do they want me in on this conference?_

Corrin opened the door to the conference room. Her red eyes darted around the room in confusion. Sitting at the black, polished conference table was Mario at the head, Marth, Roy, Ryu, and the newcomer Ken all had seats around the table as well. Corrin sheepishly waved, which caught the attention of Mario.

“Ah! Corrin. Please take a seat somewhere, we need to talk about the next recruitment.”

“Recruitment?” asked Corrin,

“I had similar questions” admitted Marth, “But Mario assures me that the answer will become clear in due time.”

“And they will” Mario agreed as Corrin took her seat.

Mario reached into a file folder and slid a glossy photograph into the middle of the table. There was a beat of silence, which was broken by a brief, but loud chuckle from Ken. The man wore a red hat, had a red jacket accompanied by a white t-shirt, flowing blond hair. His chiseled face featured a smile, his fist was pumped into the air.

“Oh, man! Terry! Haven’t seen him in years!” Ken shouted excitedly.

“An excellent choice Mario. Terry is as fine a friend and as skilled a fighter as you could have on your side,” said Ryu as Mario nodded

“Pardon me Mario, but if he is more of Ken and Ryu’s ilk, why are we involved?” Roy asked.

A mischievous smile spread on Mario’s mustached face, “Because you see, you three are just the trio we need-a. Terry is known for competing in a 3-on-3 fighting-a tournament called The King of Fighters. You three have been registered as a trio. You will travel to a place called Mexico in the year 1994 and fight Terry and his team. From how I understand, it’s one on one fights elimination rules, last team standing wins”

“A-are you sure? Team elimination isn’t something that’s exactly common Smash fair.” Corrin pointed out

“Look at it this-a-way, you guys will have primer for a new idea I have.”

“Not to interrupt, but if Marth, Roy, and Corrin are the team, then where does that leave Ken and I?” Ryu asked as the Fire Emblem trio silently pondered Mario’s last statement.

“You-a guys are the backup. This is in the year 1994, so Rugal is just becoming prominent especially in a-Mexico. It could go badly but it’s nothing you all can’t handle. The portals are up and ready, You all can go whenever you’re ready.”

“Wait, portals? As in multiple?”

“Yes. Ryu and Ken will enter a few minutes behind you all, as not to draw suspicion. Have fun!” Mario concluded with a wave, standing up and walking out of the conference room.

“Sweet!” Ken cheered, “It’ll be nice to hang out for a bit before we go into action. Street Tacos are on me, Ryu!”

Ryu frowned as the two got up to leave, “Not enough protein, too much fat.”

“Oh live a little Ryu!” bellowed Ken as they exited the conference room.

Silence hung in the air as the Fire Emblemers had the conference room all to themselves, Marth cleared his throat, “So, if you two do not have any objections I’ll be taking command in this operation?”

Roy shrugged, “No problem with me, you’re better at the tactical approach than I.”

“I must agree with Roy” Corrin chimed in, “There’s a reason why neither of us are called “The Hero King.”

Roy chuckled, while a wry grin etched at Marth’s face, “Hmph. I suppose so,” said the blue-haired lord, “ Well, we know what to do, onward to the Portal Room.”

**Mexico City, 1994**

Like a flash, Marth, Roy, and Corrin appeared in the heart of Mexico City, right outside of the Pao Pao Café, the enormous club/restaurant/bar that was their assigned location. Even though the loudness of the city, they could hear contemporary jazz inside the establishment. Marth winced as the Smash technology each of the three had on them adjusted the language of their onlookers, finally triangulating into English.

“Mommy look! They look like the characters in an anime!” said one little boy in the crowd of gawkers.

“Don’t stare! You’re blocking people trying to get in.” hissed a middle-aged woman as a man elbowed past the little boy.

Corrin giggled nervously at the attention. Marth and Roy, however, pressed onward into Club Pao Pao with Corrin quickly following behind. As the entered the enormous club, they saw a sign that read **“King of Fighters 1994, Registration”**

Immediately, the man behind the dressed, a middle-aged Mexican man with his jet black hair tied back into a ponytail wearing an expensive-looking suit looked up from the paperwork he was writing to see them. He immediately came out from behind the table and eagerly shook Marth’s hand.

“Hi, I’m Richard Meyer,” said the man in a silky smooth voice, “Owner of Club Pao Pao and handling the qualifying rounds held here. I assume you’re the fellas sent by that Mario fella?”

“Yes. Mario is, in fact, our boss” Marth said with a nod.

“Excellent! Please inform Mister Mario I’ll be more than happy to bring Club Pao Pao to the Smash tournament if he so chooses.”

“Smash Brothers is not only a gathering of the greatest fighters but also of the greatest cuisine. I’m sure Mario will be pleased to have you,” said Roy

“And I’m pleased to hear it!” said Richard, “Now, I hope you don’t mind going up against Mister Bogard’s team first. Having a novelty act like you will get customers in the door like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Novelty act? How dare you!” shouted Roy, “We are royalties of our respective lands.”

“Look, I’m sure you are” Richard growled dryly, “But you all have an interesting look and it’s my job to get customers in the door. Now, what will be your team order?”

“Team order? Um…” Corrin spoke, but Marth interrupted./

“I shall go first, then the redhead, Roy, and my female friend Corrin shall go last.”

Corrin shot him a puzzled look. Marth briskly stepped over and whispered, “You can turn into a dragon. We need to see how these fellows react in otherworldly situations.”

“Okay,” Corrin whispered back.

“Great! So it’s decided!” Richard said, stepping over to a mic, speaking into it, “Would Team Fatal Fury and Team Fire Emblem please report to the arena for the first qualifying match of the 1994 King of Fighters tournament!”

The crowd cheered. As the Fire Emblem trio walked forward, a crowd parted to reveal a simple square space etched by paint. Marth deduced that it was about half the size of the main platform of Battlefield. Nothing his team couldn’t work on.

“Team Fatal Fury, what is your team order?” bellowed the microphone amplified voice of Richard.

From the opposite side of the arena, through another large crowd, an absurd looking man with a shock top hair-do and a Japanese flag bandana stepped forward. Marth noted the odd wrapping on his hands and feet. From behind him came a blond man dressed in a white gi, followed by the man of the hour, Terry Bogard.

“I, Joe Higashi, the fighting genius, will go first!” said the strange man as he pumped his fist in the air to the cheers of the nearby crowd.

“Alright! Fighters get ready!” shouted Richard to almost deafening cheers

Corrin snapped her glance over to Marth, who was whispering something to Roy, likely a variation of what had been relayed to her. Roy’s face clenched in understanding with a quick nod. Marth stepped into the arena, followed by Joe.

“ **3, 2, 1. GO!”** bellowed Richard

Marth immediately ran to close the gap. Joe grinned and jumped into the air.

“TIGER KICK!” screamed Joe.

Marth struck his counter stance. He felt the impact of the fire-laced Tiger Kick blast through his body, and then settle in his own, allowing him to slash Joe with the same ferocity

Joe was sent hurdling backward but was graceful enough to land on his feet. His jaw was clenched, but his eyes betrayed complete and utter shock

“HURRICANE!” shouted Joe.

Again, another counter. This time, Marth only swung to release the energy.

`HOW!” Joe screamed.

Marth rushed him, hitting him with a blinding flurry of Dancing Blade strikes. Joe staggered backward. Marth pulled his sword-wielding arm back in order to charge the Shield Breaker, but Joe fired back with a mighty ax kick to the side of Marth’s head, and another, followed by a flurry of punches to the body. Joe twisted his arm and brought it back.

“HURRIC-“

As soon as the aerokinetic air generated, Marth knew what to do.

“COUNTER!” he shouted.

Again, he felt the energy wave funnel through his body, to be released on the next sword swing. With a futile scream, Joe was flung through the air, this time, hitting the ground.

“MARTH WINS!” Richard bellowed through the mic, ”Would the next member of Team Fatal Fury please step forward?”. 

The blond in the white gi stepped forward without a word, as a smirking Terry assisted a limping Joe off of the arena.

“Fighters ready? **3,2,1, GO!** ”

The silent man immediately fired a ball of energy. Marth had familiarity with something almost exactly like it, having seen Ryu fight. Marth countered it. But, just as he completed his sword swing, he felt himself get slapped upside the jaw, hard, and flung into the air, as more palm strikes windmilled into his jaw. Without thinking, Marth allowed his sword, the Falchion, to propel him further into the air. The white gi wearing man launched a kick, knocking Marth out of the air. His opponent loomed over him as he struggled to his feet. The man lashed out with a kick, just as Marth swung in a mighty overhead sword arc…  
Both connected.

As the sword connected with the Team Fatal Fury member’s jaw, his kick also connected with Marth’s hand. As the blond slumped down to the ground, knocked out cold, Marth cried out in pain, clutching his hand.

A mysterious man in a King of Fighters emblazoned jacket and hat ran over to him, “Can you continue sir?” he asked Marth

“I think my hand is broken, but…”

“No, if you’ve got a broken hand we can’t have you fightin’. WE’VE GOT A DOUBLE KO HERE!” screamed the man, holding his arms out in a ‘T’ shape

“Okay” confirmed Richard over the mic, “Round 2 is a Double KO. Terry and Roy, please get ready. If Terry loses this round, Team Fire Emblem advances.”

Roy stepped forward, stepping into his classic stance, extending his hand, and letting out a mighty “EEYAH!” as Terry lazily slumped into the fighting space

“You. You have control of fire don’tcha? ” Terry asked.

Roy blinked, “How do you know?”

“Such is being in tune with that of Mother Earth dude!”

Roy blinked. This time, words failed him.

“HEY! C’MON! Wipe that dumb look off your mug fire boy!” chided Terry

Roy briefly felt a hot wash of embarrassment, but quickly softened. Terry was simply trying to keep him in the game. Roy nodded.

“Fighters ready? **3, 2, 1, GO!**

Immediately, Terry and Roy charged one another to close the distance between them. Terry swept a kick at Roy’s leg, the impact of which sent Roy staggering backward.

“BURN KNUCKLE!” screamed Terry.

Energy emblazoned in his hand Terry lurched forward, fist outstretched. Cracking Roy across the jaw, the punch connected with a mighty “THWACK!”

Roy immediately shook himself back into consciousness, connecting with a few Dancing Blade strikes of his own. Roy jumped into the air as Terry stumbled backward from the flurry of strikes. Terry immediately leaped into the air.

“POWAH DUNK!” Terry shouted.

Bringing a fist onto Roy’s head in midair the two fell towards the ground, Terry landing safely on his knees, while Roy’s head slammed into the linoleum floor of the restaurant.

“KO!” screamed Richard, as he shot a quick look to the official, who was holding up the ‘x.’

Corrin stepped forward, helping Roy to the sidelines.

“The next fighter is Corrin. Whoever wins this fight will advance their team into the next round of the tournament. Fighters ready?”

Both nodded.

“ **3, 2, 1, GO!”** screamed Richard over the PA system

“POWAH WAVE!” said Terry,

He cupped his hand, sending a ball of energy skittering across the arena floor.

Corrin meekly looked to Marth, who mouthed, “Do it.”

Corrin braced herself. An otherworldly helmet graced her head as she braced. Then, the Power Wave hit her. A piddly amount of energy, but enough to spark her transformation.

Corrin felt her body transform. The world shifted around her as her body became that of a stout, mighty dragon! Reflexively roaring a water pillar sprung up around her as she released the countered energy. The crowd immediately went silent.

As the world shifted back to her usual human point of view, she got a look at her opponents. Joe’s jaw was hung open, the gi wearing man who hadn’t announced himself sat crosslegged on the floor, his hands upon his head, eyes wide from shock. Terry meanwhile, was smiling from ear to ear.

“Wubba wubba! What was that?!”

Corrin felt herself blushing, “O-oh. That’s my dragon form. I can transform to counter.”

“Can you fight like that?”

“Y-yes but I prefer not to.”

“Let’s do it that way!”

“Terry you idiot, she’s probably much more powerful that way,” said the gi wearing man.

“Aw shaddap, Andy! How often do you get to fight a dragon?”

“Are you sure?” Corrin asked.

“Hell yeah! DRAGON!” screamed a random man from the crowd.

And with that, a chant rang out from the now cheering crowd.

“DRA-GON, DRA-GON, DRA-GON!”

“Fine,” Corrin growled, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

With a watery pillar, she transformed into her dragon form, a black-winged reptile with gold trim.

With a roar, Corrin lunged forward.

“POWAH GEYSAR” bellowed Terry. 

An explosion of fire enveloped the ground between Terry and Corrin, and then eventually Corrin herself. Reflexively, she shot out a blast of water to counter the fire, which caused the immediate area to be covered in steam. Blinded, Terry fired off with a series of punches, Corrin nipped at the hand after the fourth, immediately shattering it.

“YEE-OW” shrieked Terry.

Then, Corrin felt another punch hit her dead center on the forehead. In her dragon form, she’d been attacked by steel melee weapons, catapults, and just about everything the Smashers had cooked up, and that was the single hardest she’d ever been hit, by a fist.

“ARE YOU OKAY? BUSTA WOLF!”

Fire surged through Terry’s arm like a cannon, releasing onto Corrin’s forehead. With a pained howl, her body lumbered backward. Wordlessly, Terry punched the ground with his broken hand. One after another, blasts of fire erupted from the earth, each staggering Corrin, the last firing Corrin up into the air. Terry leaped into the air, hitting the Power Dunk move he had earlier, sending her colliding with the ground. As she wobbled up to her feet, Terry hit two punches, a right and a left, before drawing back.

“Here is the big one” announced Terry as his fist glowed hot with fire, “BUSTA WOLF!” he screamed

This time, Corrin was sent flying backward, slamming into the floor, and skipping a few times before she was nearly at the feet of the crowd. With no more energy left to give, Corrin transformed back into her human form

“THE WINNER IS TEAM FATAL FURY! THEY WILL ADVANCE TO THE KING OF FIGHTERS 1994!” screamed Richard, so loud it made the sound system squeal in strain, “LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR TEAM FIRE EMBLEM!”

The crowd cheered loudly.

“Yeah man, you guys did great,” remarked Terry, “Drinks on me? I reckon we have a lot to talk about.”

**An hour later**

Corrin awoke sat in a booth, with some sort of bottled beverage next to her. Corrin could smell the strong, cheap alcohol permeating from the bottle without having to get closer Marth was next to her, with Roy and Terry on the opposite end. Terry’s hand was wrapped in gauze, a few empty bottles identitcal to the one she had been served pushed away from his space at the table.

“I’m not quite getting it. Multi-dimensional you said?” said Terry, lifting up his hat to scratch his head.

“Yes,” Marth said, “Again, we apologize for testing you in the manner that we did, but we had to see how you reacted to something similar you’d be facing in our tournament.”

“Hey, if all of you fight like the lady there, count me the hell in. I just can’t imagine why out of all the dimensions you’d pick me.”

“Believe it or not Mister Bogard your tales of heroism are quite legendary. If they were not, you wouldn’t be being selected. You proved to us today that you can handle what is to come.”

“Yeah.” Corrin slurred weakly, causing every head at the booth to turn, “You hit hard.”

Terry smiled warmly, “As do you, ma'am. Sorry for going so hard. Hey, I’ll make it up to you. If your realm has cheeseburgers, I’ll treat you to one.”

“I’m familiar with cheeseburgers, and I certainly wouldn’t mind being treated,” Corrin said with a sheepish grin

Suddenly, a ruckus was heard from the bar area across the restaurant, “EY! SOCKS TO RUGAL YOU SON OF A…”

Each head in at the table turned to look at the source of the noise. A man in a suit had slapped an old man out of his chair, “Well if you weren’t late on your payments maybe we’d let your daughter go, stupid old man” hissed the man in the suit

“Yeah!” said the smallest of the 10 or so men in identical suits, “Don’t blame Boss Rugal, blame yourself”

Without a word, Terry stood up, the rest followed, walking towards the source of the noise.

“Hey, stop harassin’ the old-timer dude. You think you’re all big because you’re a member of that idiot Rugal’s gang, but you’re not all that.” Terry said.

All ten heads shot up, each standing from their seats at the bar to surround Terry and company.

“We’re not all that, but at least we don’t have three idiots from the renaissance fair as a backup,” said the lead man

“Maybe sending the boys back to the hotel so we could talk wasn’t the best idea,” Terry said sheepishly as a man pulled out a knife.  
“HADOUKEN!” came a voice from across the restaurant

A blue fireball came out of nowhere, striking the lead man, knocking him unconscious.

The foursome looked to the entrance of the restaurant, and there stood Ken and Ryu!

“Hm. Talk is cheap” Ryu growled dismissively.

“You always say that! You need to work on your hero lines!” whined Ken to an eye-roll from Ryu.

The small bigmouth ran towards the duo. This time, Ken stepped forward, flicking the man once he came into striking range. A flourish of kicks sent him into the air, the last sending him back-first onto the bar. One of the other men went to make a move, but a sudden blow to the head from a tequila bottle from the old man from earlier dropped him. In a flash, several bar patrons jumped the remaining men, cheering and hooting as they curb stomped the Rugal henchmen.

“On that note, I think a tactical retreat is wise” Marth hurriedly said.

The six ran out of the bar, Ken fiddling with his Smash gear as he went.

“Ah-ha! Got it!” shouted Ken as a blue beam shot out from his wrist, making a portal directly into the Smashverse. All six dove through it as the portal closed behind them. They were in the garden just outside the Smash Mansion.

Corrin looked up to see Mario standing over them, a grin on his mustachioed face.

“Well done _famiglia_. Especially you Corrin. That was a big test, but you faced it with bravery. And Terry, let’s get you to the medical bay for that-a hand” said Mario,

“Wait…” Terry said, awe on his voice, “You two. I know you. Ryu and Ken!”

“Ey! It’s about time I got a greeting ya big dummy,” shouted Ken with a grin

“It’s great to see you guys!” said Terry, as he gave Ken a bro hug off of a handshake, “But…how do I know you if we fought in the new millennium, seven years from now?”

“Erm…” Mario interjected, “Smash kind of exists outside the time stream, so if people come here from the past, they remember the future.”

“Yeah, time’s some crazy stuff isn’t it?” came an unexpected drawl.

Each head snapped up, behind the Smashers stood Sans. But, he hadn’t been here before…

“Sans? How long have you been standing here?”

Sans shrugged, “Not long. I know shortcuts from most places though.”

Mario grimaced, As laid back as Sans seemed to be, he had an unnerving, unpredictable presence.

“I assume you want to talk to me about something?” asked Mario

“Yeah. I wanted to show you something I found, in the Core Machine Room,” Sans drawled.

Mario grimaced even deeper.

‘Fine. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading! Just to be clear, Corrin is the black-haired female alt, and the "canon" path for this story is Revelation.


	13. Interlude 1: It's Raining Somewhere Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans gives Mario a lesson on The Many Worlds Interpretation, preparing him for what might be head when The Smashers and Conker finally come face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is the first of my series of Interlude Chapters. Think of them as filler episodes of an anime, in which characters interact and the plot is expanded upon.

**Interlude 1: It’s raining somewhere else**

“What am I even…looking at?” Mario asked.

He and Sans had walked to the Core Machine Room. When they had arrived, ROB was there, and it had been clear that Sans had been using it for quite some time. A ketchup bottle and a relish bottle were about half consumed at the computer desk. Mario would have to remind Sans about the “No food or drink at the Core Machine” rule. But that wasn’t what was perplexing him. On the screen itself were blue light blue lines with the consistency of a stream more than Mario could count, all protruding from an equally blue orb. One of the lines was highlighted yellow.

“Timelines. Specifically, all the potential timelines of my world.”

“Okay. ROB, give me a rounded number to the nearest zero.”

ROB sat silent for a few seconds, his eyes flashing green as he calculated. Suddenly, his eyes stopped flashing, and the old robot whirred to look at Mario

“21 million” droned ROB

“And these are all potential futures?” Mario asked, looking at Sans.

The short skeleton chuckled, “No. You’re not thinking abstractly enough. These not only represent futures but pasts and presents as well.”

Mario nodded, “The Smash Universe exists outside of time and space, so we’re technically able to be omnipresent in past, present, and future.

Sans nodded gleefully, “Yeah, that’s what’s so cool about this place. The ultimate goal of my friend and I was to get a front row seat to time like this so that we could fix the timeline.”

“May I ask what happened to your friend?”

“He fell so hard he got dunked on by the Theory of Relativity.”

Mario felt his skin run cold, “Oh my Stars, I’m so sorry.”

“I miss him,” said Sans mournfully, “But it’s an occupational hazard. He’s everywhere and nowhere. I still feel him sometimes.”

“I’m sure,” Mario sympathetically spoke.

The two were silent before Sans spoke up, “So anyway, I suppose you’re going to ask why this specific timelinei is highlighted yellow.”

“Yes, I was-a curious about that.”

“Well, first of all, because it looks like pee, which I thought was funny. Secondly, because it looks like lemonade and I’m craving a glass. Thirdly, because that’s _my_ timeline.”

“Because it looked like pee?”

“Bodily function humor is a widely accepted form of humor, Mister Mario.” ROB chimed in.

“I know that ROB,” groaned Mario.

Sans chuckled again, “See? This guy gets it.”

Mario rubbed his temples, “Okay so, moving past the pee jokes, your timeline? The one you left?”

“Yeah.”

Sans pressed a few buttons at the console. The screen zoomed in on the yellow stream, which zoomed in further on a planet within it. Zooming in on the planet led to a park, where it appeared a dog in knight’s armor was throwing a human child up into the air, which the human child appeared to be enjoying, as it was whooping and hollering

“See, I’m what the people of that planet call a monster,” Sans said, “About a decade ago a war broke out because the prince of monsters was unjustly killed after it brought a human back to its village. We lost that war and as a result, got banished underneath a mountain. Recently a human fell down to our world and helped us break the magic barrier without killing anyone. We all live in harmony now.”

“Well that’s good,” said Mario, frowning, “But I guess other timelines didn’t go in such a merry direction.”

“Heh, you’re smarter than I thought mustache. Look.”

More buttons being pressed on the console, the screen flipped to what seemed like a normal, albeit dark, town.

“There are somewhere the human got out, leaving the underground in varying states of disarray. And then….”

The screen flipped to a royal looking hall. Sans was there, a bloody, deep gash down his torso, with a child standing over him wielding a bloody knife. The child had a blank expression on his face

“Papyrus,” the Sans on screen wheezed, “I’m going to Grillby’s. Do you….want anything?” limping a few steps, and then collapsing, transforming into dust, which quickly blew away in a light breeze.

“Seven Stars above,” gasped a horrified Mario, “What causes such deviations in the timeline?”

Sans shrugged, “Dunno. I’ve driven myself batty trying to figure it out. The only explanation I can think of goes into those scientific studies that we can’t identify problems in until it’s too late. You know, psychology stuff. Beyond that, it’s literally down to what the human feels like doing when they get down the mountain.”

Mario nodded, “I understand the frustration, being faced with an issue you can’t control.”

“Yeah, especially when I’m the Sans that comes from the perfect timeline.”

Mario raised an eyebrow, “The perfect timeline? How do you that yours is the perfect timeline?”

“Because of my friend’s machine,” Sans muttered, “I figured it out. If we, that is, all of the Sans’ that exist across time, all individually figured out the machine, I imagine your technology would be going nutso having marked all of us.”

“And I’m assuming that way you came here, to begin with, to see if someone with a machine like your friend’s could help.”

For the briefest of moments, Mario thought he saw Sans’ eye flash with a blue flame, but before he could register it, it was gone.

“Right again Mister Mustache. If we were on Mettaton’s game show, you’d be at, what, the 200 dollar question? Even so, if you cashed out then that’d be like, a few days of hamburgers. You’d be set.”

“In addition to the harrows of your timeline, your currency also appears to be terribly inflated,” ROB droned.

Sans laughed, but not like the chuckles that seemed to come as natural at breathing for the skeleton. This was an explosion of laughter. ROB had caught Sans off guard.

“Nah man I just eat a lot,” Sans said in response.

_Puns and deadpan, that’s how we keep you happy huh,_ Mario thought to himself.

Mario nodded, “I believe I understand now. You could say I needed time to adjust,” Mario paused, allowing Sans to chuckle once again, “ I think you can be a great help to us outside of-a fighting. You seem to know a lot more about this than anyone I know.”

Sans chuckled, “Thanks man, I wish I didn’t” he snapped

The quick burst of anger that Sans had just let out filled Mario with a deep coldness. Knowledge that there are places in a universe much like your own where your friends had died, and chaos reigned supreme, and knowledge that you tried and failed. That filled Mario with a deep sense of dread.

“And if anything….that’s what this war is gonna be if and-a when it happens. Warriors from bad timelines coming to rule the entire multi-verse, ” Mario pondered

Sans shrugged, “Yeah. And I really hope at the end of it we can right those darker timelines.”

“If that’s what brings peace to the multi-verse, that’s what we’ll-a do Sans,” said the mustachioed plumber.

“Affirmative” agreed ROB.

There was a moment’s pause, and then Mario spoke, “Sans, in addition to myself and ROB, there are a few other…um…administrators. I don’t-a know if Shulk has introduced himself, or the Duck Hunt Duo, but we do a lot of the behind the scenes operation, and with your knowledge of timelines and these machines, we’d like to invite you to be a part of that team. You’ll be doing that-a part-time, filling in for Shulk and ROB while they’re competing, and they’ll-a be doing the same for you. How does that sound?”

Sans dismissively waved his hand, “I held like, three jobs back home. Would be nice to finally have one that’s not customer-facing for once. Yeah, I’m in.”

Mario quizzically raised an eyebrow, “ Wait, you held three jobs? No disrespect to you, but you don’t seem like the kind of guy to…”

“Dude, if I had a nickel every time somebody said that I’d have enough to buy a dope sports car.”

Mario grinned, “Fair enough. Welcome to the team Sans. I’m thinkin’ of-a wrapping this meeting up. You got any questions?”

“I do actually. You said this was gonna be a tournament right? With a live attendance?” Sans asked

“Yeah! You can invite whoever you want to watch you fight. That’s a source of great appeal for most people who come to fight here.”

“Great. My friends are cool people, and I think you’ll like them too.”

Mario nodded, “I’m especially looking forward to meeting this Mettaton character. You said he had a game show? We’re always looking for entertainment outside the realm of the tournaments for pre and post-show, I’d like to give this guy a shot-a.”

“Oh, you’re not ready for Mettaton. But then again, are any of us truly ready for Mettaton?” Sans mused.

Mario laughed, “I like that, it only intrigues me more.”

Sans matched Mario’s laughter, and the two shared a few seconds of laughter together. When the laughter subsided, Sans spoke up.

“Aight dude, I’m gonna grab that glass of lemonade if you don’t mind.”

“No problem at all. This meeting is dismissed.”

Sans did an overdramatic bow as he left the Core Machine room, walking down the long hallway to the cafeteria. He found himself lost in thought about how fun it would be to be able to show Alphys this fantastic world, or how cool it would be to see Papyrus and Undyne interact with heroes of their own ilk, or….

_Jokes from around the universe with Toriel_

Sans sighed happily at the prospect, when suddenly.

_WHAM!_

He bumped shoulders with someone as he walked to the entrance of the cafeteria. Looking up from his daydreaming state, he locked eyes with a young man in a striped shirt, adorned with a baseball cap.

“Uh…do I know you from somewhere?”

“Um, no?” Ness said.

“Oh, okay then. I just got in the other night. My name’s Sans, I’m taking the Mii Gunner position.”

Ness smiled broadly, “Well, my name’s Ness! I’ve been here since the first tournament.”

“Wow, so much battle experience for a young kid. Do you mind showing me the ropes of the fighting arena?”

Ness ‘hummed’ in a quizzical manner, “I don’t think any of the training rooms are open yet. We usually have a week for that once everyone’s settled in, and judging by how things have been going so far, that might be a while. But yeah! Once things open up for that, I’ll totally be your training buddy!”

Sans chuckled, “Thanks for being a pal kid. See ya around!”

Ness nodded as Sans entered the cafeteria, shuffling up to the counter, to which a purple Wire Frame man sat attentively

“Good afternoon Mister Sans. What would you like?”

_Wouldn’t it be funny if I didn’t get that lemonade after all? Subversion of expectation is such a good bit._

“Two helping of burg.”

“Two hamburgers coming right up.”

Sans happily leaned against the counter, checking his Smash Tech watch. The time read 3 PM. Between the nap, he’d taken earlier, and the hour or so of work he’d done at the Core Machine he’d missed the lunch rush. He’d also somehow managed to avoid the hustle and bustle of the Smash Mansion overall.

_Good, that means nobody’ll judge me for burgers in bed and another nap_ Sans thought as he wordlessly took his tray of burgers and shuffled off to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more thing now that you've actually read the chapter. This was written before Fighter #5 was announced, and so, out of annoyance over the forced lack of progress on my fic


	14. Interlude 2: Running into Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonic observes a few of the cliques in the Smash cafeteria and catches up with a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This features some very light self harm implications, so if that's something that upsets you, I recommend skipping this one.

**Interlude 2: Running into Old Friends**

Dinner in the cafeteria was the most raucous it had been since the doors opened to The Smash Mansion for the tournament. As no one was technically ever required to eat in the cafeteria, for the exception of the opening night, the hustle ebbed and flowed with complete irregularity. As the cafeteria was 24/7 self-serve, it wasn’t uncommon to see the cafeteria barren except for a few people. But, talk of the fifth newcomer had given way to excited chitter-chatter about sorts of topics.

Zooming through the chaos, chili-dog in hand was Sonic the Hedgehog. One of the things that made navigating a crowded room interesting with his powerset was that Sonic could stop, absorb conversation, and leave, sometimes all before the speakers had noticed he was even there. He stopped at a table occupied by Ken, Ryu, Terry, Little Mac, Doc Lewis, and Incineroar, as Ken was animatedly telling a story.

“And so I flicked Mac on the chin and said ‘Ey! C’mon c’mon!’”

Terry smirked as the rest of the table erupted into laughter, “You jerk, that’s copyrighted gold,” he chided playfully.

“You call it plagiarism, I call it researching a great,” Ken chided back, flashing a pearly white smile.

Incineroar uproariously laughed. But, this was fake, haughty, “Course, martial arts and wrestling are always gonna make boxers look like jabronis, every time, so really don’t matter who’s stealing what gimmick brother. ”

Mac raised an eyebrow, “ Come again?” he asked, as he shot a now aggravated looking Doc a stern look

“Oh c’mon! The footage is on the Pokemon League Network on Pokegear! You ain’t ever seen Chuck vs Bruno when Chuck was in his prime? Chuck’s Hitmonlee took down Bruno’s Hitmonchan, but Bruno’s Machoke took down Chuck’s Hitmonlee. It’s basically Rock Type, Paper, Scissors”

“Ey man, you ever take down Donkey Kong?” muttered Doc, “Because Mac did.”

“That monkey with the tie? He’s a big guy, but I probably could. Alolan Strong Style goes harder brother!”

“I don’t know what Alolan Strong Style is. All I know, pal, is that you waited to make your big entrance until I was already embedded in the big screen.” Mac chided.

“Don’t work yourself into a shoot brother, big entrances sell merch. ‘Sides, Ken and I were the attraction, two foreign fighters to your territory. I wouldn’t mind sparring with you in the training room when they open up”

Mac smirked, “Bring it. I’ve fought far weirder than you.”

Suddenly, something clicked in Sonic’s head.

_Donkey Kong. I wonder if…_ he thought, jetting off.

Sure enough, further down the length of the cafeteria, The Kongs, King K. Rool, Banjo, Kazooie, all three Links, and Zelda were sat at one of the long dining room tables As with the other table, Kazooie was in the thick of an animated discussion.

“So what you’re saying is, you hit the chicken, and you got jumped by his friends?” Kazooie asked, holding in her laughter.

Link hung his head, which caused Zelda to giggle, “Look, I was in a fight with a Moblin and this chicken wouldn’t move out of the way, so I accidentally hit it a couple of times. I take the Moblin out and next thing I know the sun is blotted out with chickens.”

Young Link snorted with laughter, “The Goddess sent chickens!”

“Hey, at least the chickens don’t drop coconuts. This guy’s henchmen” Diddy interjected, pointing at King K. Rool, “Did a lot of that.”

“I’ll have you know they are fine troops with the finest weaponry, and the aerial advantage is of the utmost importance,” growled the Kremling King.

Donkey Kong shrugged, “The many bumps on my noggin say he’s right,”

“Still though” Kazooie interrupted, “I can’t stop thinking about the sun being blotted out by chickens. Power to the fowls!” Kazooie said with a squawking laugh,

“Still as ridiculous as ever eh Kazooie?” Sonic quipped.

Every head at the table turned to look up towards Sonic, Banjo broke out into a huge grin, as did Kazooie.

“Sonic!” they both cried.

“Good to see ya both. I was wondering when I’d eventually see you guys.’ Sonic explained

“Little bit difficult to find anyone person in this place isn’t it?” Banjo mused.

“Enough of the pleasantries,” blurted The Kremling King, “I demand to know how you two know this, erm, blue rat.”

Sonic rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, “Well…um…back in the day I kind of…I kind of wiped an entire island from the timeline,” he said.

Zelda, who was mid-bite of a salad, nearly choked, “S-sonic? How? Why?”

“Mario never told you?”

“No!” she shouted

Sonic frowned, “The princess of the island demanded I do it. It was the only way we could stop the monster that was plaguing her world and bringing on an apocalyptic future. I felt like a failure, went into hiding.”

“And then.” Diddy Kong interjected, “Cause Master Hand was worried about Sonic hurting himself, Master Hand merged Sonic’s universe with ours, which brought the Isle o’ Hags into that dimension.”

Kazooie held up two talons mid-sip of ginger beer, “Into two dimensions.”

“Two?” asked Toon Link.

“Yeah! You know how the multi-verse got all jumbled when you beat Tabuu? Well, somehow, we drifted into the larger cluster of dimensions that Sonic’s resides in. So then Master Hand challenges us an’ Grunty to the car thing.,” Banjo explained.

“ And then,” Kazooie continued, “ We somehow got thrust into the second dimension of this wild ride, which is the universe Sonic lives in, which is why we ended up in that racing tournament.”

“And so I guess the only way Master Hand could check up on you was to masquerade as LOG?” Diddy asked.

“Yeah!” chirped Kazooie, “I guess because Sonic’s and Mario’s dimension’s are…nearby, that put us back on the radar.”

“I thank the Jiggies above that Hand was lucid enough to check up on us,” Banjo proclaimed, clasping his paws in prayer for effect.

“And lucid enough to fix the mess Tabuu made before he and Crazy kicked the bucket,” Sonic interjected .

“That had to do with Ryu and Megaman’s pocket dimension, right Zel?” asked Young Link.

Zelda nodded, “Yes. Apparently coming into contact with Ryu’s universe, something so intricately weaved with so many others, it gave Master Hand the creative inspiration he needed to set your mess back the way it should be.”

“Creative…inspiration? That’s something you say when you knit a sweater, not when you fix the laws of time and space!” crowed Kazooie.

“That’s exactly how Master Hand described it! He saw the multiverse as a complicated croche project!”

“Urgh, this makes my head hurt” Donkey admitted, pushing away a large banana plate, which Diddy gleefully began to munch on.

“You can ask Cranky about it when we get phone time tonight. He can explain it,” said Diddy, his voice muffled from a mouthful of bananas

“Or Mewtwo,” said Zelda, “I would love to see the equation that explains these dimensional shenanigans”

Young Link and Link groaned simultaneously.

“Ugh, Zelda and her math” groaned Young Link, while Link nodded in agreement, “Hey Toon, is your Zelda a big nerd too?” chided the young warrior

“Hey!” Zelda whined playfully, “I resent that!”

“I mean, she’s good at reading star maps because she’s a pirate.”

Both of the other Links nodded as Banjo gasped excitedly, “Wait a Jiggy flippin’ minute. Your girlfriend’s a pirate?”

“I mean, she’s not my girlfriend. But yeah, my…Zelda is a pirate.”

Banjo smiled, “That’s awesome. Part of me always wanted to be a pirate.”

“Yeah,” Kazooie agreed, rolling her eyes, “He talks about it all the time”

“Hey, don’t start this again. I’ve told you a million times. We shoulda bought that ship from Blubber, sailed to Jolly Roger Lagoon, opened a restaurant…”

“Yeah like your lazy fuzzy butt would run a restaurant.”

“That’s what middle managers are for Kazooie!”

Sonic mockingly saluted the rest of the table as the bear and bird bickered, zooming away.

“Heh, those two arguing like a couple, I missed it,” Sonic thought aloud, “But I do owe that crocodile a punch in his big fat gut once training rooms open up for that blue rat comment,” he decided as he rounded the corner to the hallway containing the bedrooms

However, in his speed, Sonic didn’t notice that he had nearly collided with Isabelle, who was walking with her roommate Snake. The wind tussled at the clothes she was wearing as he blew past.

“YEEOW!” Isabelle yelped in fright, “What was that Snake?”

Snake eyes narrowed, “You mean ‘who?’ That was Sonic the Hedgehog. World’s fastest obnoxious asshole.”

Isabelle growled, which briefly stunned Snake, “That’s not very polite to say about someone Snake.”

“B-but I roomed with him two tournaments ago. He listens to punk rock loudly at all hours!” protested an unusually stammered Snake

“Still! That’s no excuse to use such language! You and I are going to bake cookies for the new fighter and Sonic, and you are gonna like it!” squeaked Isabelle.

“Cookies? What kind of guy do you think I am?”

Isabelle giggled, “Nothing too complicated. We’ll do a simple chocolate chip recipe. Even Roy couldn’t mess that up!”

The two friends chuckled as they rounded the corner out of the bedroom hall.


	15. Origins: Edelgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conker and co. make a move on the continent of Fodlan and the Smashers swing into action.

**Origins: Edelgard**

**Askr: Months ago**

Marth rounded the corner to the main assembly hall of the Askr Castle. Seated around the table were three people. On one side was the mysterious summoner, the one who had united them all in protecting the country of Askr by bringing them together. He was presumably from a futuristic world, one not unlike Cloud Strife’s. On the other was the white-haired young woman Edelgard, her trusty ax laid out on the table in front of her. Eerily standing behind her was the Edelgard’s brooding, scowling, yet always faithful servant Hubert. Dimitri, Claude, and Loki had come in saying the Edelgard had reached “Level 40” during a training excursion. Marth was unclear about what “levels” meant. What he did know, however, was that Level 40 was the maximum level of potential a warrior could reach, as he was one of the first of the summoner’s warriors to reach it. Customarily, one was to meet with the Summoner on one when they reached the level, usually to air whatever grievances or feelings they had as a sign of full devotion to the cause. Edelgard softly cleared her throat.

"You tend to look at me as though you expect me to leave at any moment. I suppose it can't be helped. You need not worry, however. Even if I did not care about this country and its people... For the sake of my ambitions, I would still be sure to see this effort to its end. I promise you that. Remember who I am. I am Edelgard von Hresvelg, and I am sworn to help you vanquish your enemies. With my allegiance to your cause, victory is a foregone conclusion."

The summoner silently nodded, “Thank you, Your Highness. You and Hubert are dismissed.”

Edelgard nodded her thanks, motioning for Hubert to follow as she grabbed her weapon. They strode through the grand set of double doors leading out of the room. The Summoner meanwhile spread his book on the table, thumbing through the ancient tome while humming a merry tune.

Marth frowned. He had no hard evidence, but something was conniving behind Edelgard’s, but especially Hubert’s, eyes. A lust to be the best, that could expand across her globe, maybe the multiverse if she had a powerful backer.

Marth slunk back into the room he had previously been in, activating his wrist communicator.

“How can I be of assistance Master Marth? A new tournament has not yet begun.”

“I know that ROB!” hissed Marth, “But I’d like to update the database.”

“New database entry created, please state the name of potential Smasher.”

“Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

**Smash Mansion: Now**

It was a sunny spring day at the Smash Mansion, as the Mansion’s weather protocols had dictated after several days of rain. Mario sat on the top of the steps of the enormous mansion, a plate on his lap with a single slice of pepperoni pizza on it. Mario brought the slice of pizza up to his mouth, taking a bite. Recruitment had taken up most of his time, with Terry and Sans having joined the fold relatively recently. However, a thought was always nagging at the back of his mind. The fact that Conker and his cabal hadn’t made any visible moves. That was the keyword to Mario and his advisors, “visible”. Mario had no doubt Conker was recruiting villains at a rate that matched, or even exceeded their recruitment efforts, in universes that they didn’t know the location of. This had, of course, greatly frustrated the administrative team, but none more than Mario. He had been incredibly distant to Peach since after his discussion with Sans. Mario briefly considered what kind of date he could take Peach on to rectify the situation when he felt a cold burst of wind behind him.

“Something troubles you.” rang a deep voice in his mind.

“Oh, hello Mewtwo” greeted Mario, not even turning to look at the 150th Pokemon, “Yes, quite a bit is troubling me …but I suppose you know that already”

“I do not mean to pry, but I hear thoughts the way we hear idle chatter when people speak, and quite loudly too. That aside, your thoughts weren’t the reason why I came looking for you. ROB sent me to find you, as your wrist communicator is turned off. We have a hit.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just needed a little bit of a peace and a-quiet, I-”

Then, suddenly a realization dawned on Mario.

“A hit? What do you mean?” asked the red garbed plumber.

“Conker and his associates are meeting with someone from our database. We have a lock on their position if you want to join. It was decided that you and Marth would be best at representing our cause in this scenario, as this person was put in the database per his request.”

“Edelgard correct?”

“Yes”

“Alright, I’m heading out. Watch my pizza for me will you Mewtwo?” Mario asked as he bolted into the mansion.

Mewtwo telepathically picked up the pizza, sniffing it. With a grunt, he flung the pizza slice deep into the forest that surrounded the mansion.

“Human food, disgusting” grumbled Mewtwo as he lazily floated back into the mansion.

It didn’t take long for Mario to meet up with Marth who was running to the portal room.

“Goddess, I hope we’re not too late.” huffed the blue-haired prince.

“Agreed. A potential ally turned to the other side isn’t what we need right now.”

“If anyone can convince her though, it’s you and I Master Mario.”

“Well, I’m relieved to hear you say that.”

Marth quizzically raised an eyebrow, “If something’s the matter, you need to stow it. We need to be on our game here. This could be a full-on skirmish we’re walking into.”

“I know, you’re right, sorry. I assume you gave ROB the standby order, to wait for our signal if we need backup?”

“I am all too familiar with the procedures of recruiting Master Mario.”

Mario smiled, “Good. We’re coming up on the portal room now!”

**Garreg Mach Monastery**

Fall was just giving way to winter on the continent of Fódlan, and in the cold stood a terrified young woman, Edelgard von Hresvelg. She and Hubert had been walking through a seldom-used path to get to her next class, for which she had overslept and thus was running late, when a humanoid squirrel had stepped out of a portal, accompanied by a black-robed, silver-haired man with a ridiculously long sword,

“Hey, how’s it going Flame Emperor?” said the squirrel.

“I do not know who you are” growled Hubert, “But you need mind how you speak to Lady Edelgard.”

“Name’s Conker the Squirrel, and….hmph _lady_ “ scoffed Conker, “Some lady you are, sneakin’ around on all yer friends, being a villain and all. But I like yer style, and I wanna give you somethin’ to join our cause.”

“ Your…cause?” asked Edelgard

“World domination” growled the man with the sword, “Shaping the world how we wish it. Is that not what you plan to do, Flame Emperor?”

“Yeah! We know these church bozos have messed with you and your family, and you wanna screw ‘em back,”Conker explained pausing to hiccup, “And I have just the things”

Conker snapped his claws, and in a flash of light, four weapons appeared floating through the air. Edelgard gasped, “The Hero’s Relics! And the Sword of the Creator!”

Hubert grimaced, “How did you get these weapons, you creature? These weapons are wholly unique artifacts.”

Conker shrugged nonchalantly, “Eh. Weapon collection’s easy when you go to a timeline when yer little war wipes out everyone. Then again, ain’t that what you wanted? Ultimate, goddamn, power” hissed the Squirrel King, stepping uncomfortably close to Edelgard and Hubert

“I’m sorry, time what?” asked Edelgard. “Furthermore, your breath reeks of alcohol” she stated as her nose wrinkled slightly

Conker laughed, “Time, my drinkin, none of it will really matter to ya in the end. The point is, join us, and you can take these here weapons.”

Edelgard instinctually raised her hand, and the weapons flew to her, orbiting around her.

“Ha! They like ya! C’mon, let’s g-“

Suddenly another portal opened. Mario leaped out of the portal slamming his fist into the ground followed by Marth

“You!” Hubert shouted, “You’re one of the warriors from Askr!”

“Yes, Sir Hubert. However, I’m afraid now isn’t the time for pleasantries.”

Hubert growled, poised to say more, but Edelgard held up her hand, “That we could infer, but you must state your purpose.”

Marth cleared his throat, “Think of the situation on Askr, but beyond the scope of the Fire Emblem. I and my compatriot Mario here are members of The Super Smash Brothers. Many of our mutual allies from Askr have also joined the cause. We seek to change the world…”

Conker cackled with laughter, “Yeah! Through peace n’ politics. But us? We know this world isn’t salvageable how it is. It hasta be destroyed, rewritten.”

“I know your history Edelgard, and why that history may predicate your allegiance with Conker and his fold” Marth began, which caused Mario to snap a confused glance at him, “Similarly, that allegiance can be made with us and lead to the accomplishment of that same goal. Ultimately, you must decide whether people can be shown the way, or whether brute force is necessary. Whatever you believe, I can respect it, but understand if you go the cataclysmic route…with them, this will put us on opposite ends,”

Edelgard clutched The Sword of the Creator. Her teeth clenched briefly, pointing the sword at the Smash Brothers representative. Marth unsheathed his own sword, ready to fight. Suddenly, she swung the sword for Conker’s head….  
Only to be blocked by the long sword of the silver haired man. Hubert immediately made a long, sweeping gesture with his hand, which caused a magical ball of fire to materialize in the air and hurtle right towards the silver haired man. Without even turning to acknowledge the attack, a dark orb hurdled towards the blast of fire, extinguishing it. Hubert gasped in shock, while Edelgard’s eyes widened in horror as she and her opponent jockeyed for position in their stalemate

“What are you?” gasped Edelgard

The man smirked, “You, young lady, may call me Sephiroth. As for what I am, I am a god.”: he said with a snarl.

Suddenly, a second blade caught Sephiroth on his shoulder, breaking the clashing of blades he had with Edelgard. To the princess’ shock, Marth stood by her side. Together, Marth and Edelgard lunged forward with piercing blows. However, Sephiroth stood unphased. With an animalistic growl, Sephiroth swung his blade with an impossible ferocity, seemingly cutting the air around them. Even though Marth and Edelgard were somehow moving in complete synch, both warriors began to fumble, losing their footing progressively with each blow. All this while Mario and Hubert worked to parry Sephiroth’s dark orbs with fire attacks. Edelgard was the first to lose her footing, being flung backward a few inches, landing flat on her back. Meanwhile, Marth had taken a defensive stance as Sephiroth had, but somehow, each strike of Sephiroth’s allowed Marth to meet his opponent’s sword

“COUNTER! COUNTER! COUNTER!” Marth screamed with each blow

Edelgard shakily rose to her feet, and, with a thought, summoned Failnaught to her.

“ _Goddess, I hope my aim is as good as Claude’s_ thought Edelgard

She aimed the bow, and as she mimed the motion of pulling back an arrow to fire, an arrow of light appeared, primed to fire. She fired. The arrow of light launched from the bowstring, nailing Sephiroth in the exact center of the forehead. Sephiroth fumbled, and as he did, Marth pulled his sword back for several seconds, finally stabbing Sepiroth in the gut , “EY! SEPHIROTH! LET’S BLOW THIS FREAKIN JOINT!” wailed Conker

Sephiroth answered with an affirmative grunt. He leapt backward, standing beside Conker.

Mario noticed a dark orb dissipate before his or Hubert’s fire blast connected with it.

“HUBERT! HIT THEM WITH YOUR STRONGEST A-FIRE SPELL! NOW!”

Hubert nodded, folding his hands in what appeared to be prayer. As he did, several meteors of fire shot into the air. As that happened, Mario connected both of his outspread palms and thrusts his arms outward

“OH YEAH! FEE-YAHHHHHH!” screamed Mario as he unleashed his most powerful attack, the Mario Finale .

From both the horizontal and vertical plains of existence, fire enveloped the villains briefly, and then the sheer force of each hero’s fiery magic connected, combusting into a mighty explosion

For a brief second, the world stood still, the only sounds audible were the whistle of the winter wind, Mario’s heavy breathing, and the oncoming horde of Monastery students, presumably wondering what in the name of the Goddess had just _exploded_ during morning lessons, 

“Hey-a Marth,” Mario panted, “Isn’t…isn’t Sephiroth that dude that almost blew up Cloud’s planet?”

Marth opened his mouth to answer, but Hubert interrupted, “What in the….COMRADES! LOOK AT THE SMOKE!”

Mario could see the smoke where the magical onslaught had impacted, and as the smoke finally began to clear, Mario could see an all too familiar rainbow butterfly wing.

All Mario could do is mouth ‘oh shit’ to the open air as Conker’s cackling once again echoed off the buildings of the Monastery, the complete absence of smoke finally revealing the foreboding wings, pumping with energy. 

“Okay, now all the did was piss me off! This planet freakin’ sucks! Blow it up Sephiroth ya one winged little bastard! Use that Supernova move you were tellin’ us all about!”

Whereas Conker’s expression was manic with rage, Sephiroth’s head was hung, his eyes glazed over

“What the hell? Did ya hear me pretty boy?! I’m the KING OF ALL THE LAND! WHEN I SAY SOMETHIN’ YOU FREAKIN DO IT!”

“Forgive my impudence King Conker” Sephiroth spoke, his voice a distracted montone, “But blowing up a world without the proper forethought will make your plan nigh-on impossible to complete.”

Conker’s expression settled, the wings disappearing, “Hey, you’re right. There’s a reason I keep you around pretty boy. Well that, and the ol’ lady likes ya, but that’s a story for another story. Alright big man, let’s vamoose.”

With that, Conker opened a portal and leapt through it. Sephiroth cast an expressionless glance back at the heroes before jumping in the portal himself. As the portal closed, students began to crowd around the four heroes, all exclaiming their congratulations and admiration. Unfortunately, the heroes were too winded to give truthful answers. Suddenly, amongst all the chatter, a loud voice erupted from the crowd.

“EDIE! EDIE! EDIE!”

Shoving her way through the crowd came the dark maroon-haired songstress Dorothea, Finally, upon making eye contact with Edelgard she gasped.

“Oh thank the Goddess you’re alright Edie! I mean, w-what happened? I heard an explosion, and then I realized you and Hubert weren’t in class and then…”

“Dorothea, I’m…I’m fine” Edelgard mumbled, desperately trying to will the red out of her cheeks, “But there’s some urgent business Hubert and I must attend to, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“You’ll be hearing back from Edelgard in relatively short order Dorothea.” Marth explained

“Yeah! We’ll explain the specifics once we explain the specifics to Edelgard, but please-a bear with us.” Mario piped in.

Mario opened keyed a code into his wrist communicator touch screen, and a portal opened mere steps from where they stood.

“Edelgard, Hubert, if you’ll follow us a-please.” Mario explained.

“Hey!” barked Dorothea, causing all four departing heroes’ heads to whip around, “You two’d better be in contact on the double. Especially you Edie, I’ll…I’ll miss you when you’re gone”

Edelgard briefly wiped her eyes, “Agh, some ash got in my eye just there” Edelgard said with smallest of grins, “I’ll miss you too Dorothea. Keep the Eagles in line while Hubert and I are away. I’m counting on you. Oh, and also, please give Professor Byleth my warmest regards. Goodbye Dorothea.”

Dorothea nodded silently before whisking away through the crowd. With that, the four stepped through the portal, into the Mansion’s main lobby.

“My word,” gasped Hubert, “This as fine a palace as I’ve ever been in. Wouldn’t you agree Edelgard?”

“I would Hubert, I certainly would,” Edelgard mumbled as she cast a fascinated gaze around the regal foyer in which they stood

“Marth, you settle them in, I’ve got to make the call for an all hands meeting, alright-a?”

“Aye aye Master Mario” Marth explained, as Mario bounded up the stairs.

There was a moment’s silence is Mario disappeared behind the door at the top of the stairs, the tension of which was broken by Marth.

“So…erm…normally I would give a tour and get you settled into your room, but it seems we may have a meeting first.”

Another moment’s silence, this time broken by Edelgard, “Prince Marth, may I ask you a question?”

Marth chuckled lightly, to which Edelgard found herself blushing. She hadn’t really had time in her life to gauge what kind of human being she found attractive, but she would certainly be lying if she called Marth’s voice anything other than heaven scent to her ears.

“There isn’t any need for such formalities Edelgard. If you have a question, please, just ask it.” came the voice of Marth.

This snapped her out of the trance she was in, her body snapping to attention on instinct, as it would when formally addressed by an older noble. The white-haired princess cleared her throat, “Marth, if these weapons were meant for others, why did they bequeath themselves to me?”

Marth looked down at the floor briefly, pondering the query.

“Honestly Princess, I can’t proclaim anything with impunity. However, in my experience with blessed weapons, typically the original forgers of the weapons, or the weapons’ original keepers would’ve wanted you to have them.”

That thought took the breath out of Edelgard’s body. Amyr, her axe was a given, but the fact that Claude’s weapon Failnaught, Dimitri’s weapon Areadbhar, and the holy sword, the Sword of the Creator, had bequeathed themselves to her despite her endless thoughts of heresy, was simply astounding.

A pink, round blob bounded into the room, shouting, “Hiii!”

“Hello Kirby! These are our new friends, Edlegard and Hubert” Marth introduced them.

“Egg-le-gard” Kirby bellowed out slowly.

“Why you pink….thing!” hissed Hubert, “You will address Princess Edlegard von…”

Edlegard shushed her longtime confidant, “Hubert, whatever it is, it’s clearly just a boy. Show some restraint!”

Marth chuckled, before his posture stiffened, “Oh! Can I ask you something very candid Princess?”

“Certainly” said the white-haired Princess with a nod

“Why did….why did you choose us?” inquired the Altean prince.

“Simple, at no point in your pitch to me did you tell me how to think. You allowed me that respect, unlike that vile squirrel, and unlike the Church.”

Marth nodded, “Perhaps if you have our backing, we can resolve the conflict with the Monastery without violence.”

Edelgard nodded, “I hope so too. I shudder to think of civilians getting caught in the way of achieving my goals, and I believe aligning myself here is the best way to achieve this. Hubert and I promise you that we will not raise violence with the church unless my empire is provoked.”

Marth nodded vigorously back, “Mario will undoubtedly be pleased to hear this.”

Suddenly, they heard conversation coming from seemingly every passageway that lead into the main lobby Hubert and Edelgard flinched as the seemingly every door to the room. opened at once. The Adrestians could only stand slack-jawed at the manner of fantastical creatures that poured into the foyer. Even some of the humans wore clothing that baffled Edelgard’s very understanding of fashion. The last to enter from the doors at the top of the staircase was Mario. As soon as he entered the room the room fell silent.

“ Good afternoon-a Smashers. Recently, on an expedition to recruit a new fighter, we had a run in with Conker the Squirrel.”

Mario paused to let the crowd briefly murmur among themselves before continuing.

“During the confrontation, we fought not only Conker, but also Sephiroth, an old enemy of Cloud’s, to which I must say, our newest Smasher Edelgard and auxiliary member Hubert fought fabulously.”

“WHAT?” barked Cloud from the back of the room, “Sephiroth’s back again, and these two survived? Gotta say, I’m impressed, even if I am pissed Sephiroth’s back in the hunt.”

Edelgard raised her hand and nodded, to make her thanks known. Hubert simply nodded in agreement.

“Yes. During the confrontation, it was also determined that Conker has somehow acquired Tabuu’s power, to what amount we don’t know.”

“HA! I KNEW IT! WARIO YOU OWE ME FIFTY GEM APPLES YOU FAT, GARLIC SWILLIN’ PERVERT!” bellowed a penguin with a hammer.

Mario sighed so loudly it was audible from the top of the stair case, “Dedede now isn’t the time…”

“What-a even ARE-a Gem Apples-a? I won’t pay! ” whined Wario

“Wario…” pleaded Mario

“ALRIGHT, IF YER GONNA A PANTYWAIST ABOUT IT, WE’S GONNA SETTLE ALL OUR BETS IN SMASH COINS ROUND THESE HERE PARTS YA BIG IDJIT!” Dedede boomed so loudly that the floor seemed to vibrate.

“Smash Coins-a are the highest traded currency in the multiverse-a. That’s expensive!” Wario whined even louder and more obnoxiously than before.

“YA GAT DERN PANTYWAIST, A BET IS A BET!”

“ENOUGH!” boomed a voice from the front of the room, an impossibly muscular blond with a whip sheathed over his back, “Master Mario…speaks” hissed the man.

“Thanks a bunch a-Simon. So, as I was saying, with these factors in mind, we are amplifying our recruitment process. Our goal was to open the tournament to 100 fighters, and we still intend to do that. However, once Saki and Green rejoin us, we fill the rolls vacated by Hart and Monster Hunter, and we get Bowser Junior’s Petey Piranha seedling…”

“YAHOO! PAPA! I CAN BRING PETEY TO THE TOURNAMENT!” squealed the spiked turtle that looked most like the big spiked turtle accompanying them all, who Edelgard presumed was Bowser Junior

“Uh…we’re pulling the trigger on that? Thought I told ya I’d think about it Mustache?” boomed the larger spiked turtle, who the Adrestians immediately assumed was the first Bowser.

“I’m acquiring old Subspace assets, and that means we need Petey. This is not up for discussion.” Mario said sternly.

“Um…excuse me, Mister Mario,” piped up a blond-haired boy from the center of the crowd, “D-does that mean…?”

“I’ll speak to you and Ness individually when I have a game plan” Mario affirmed, “Even with the fighters spots we intend to fill, we are still twenty fighters short. Training rooms will be open starting tomorrow, and I would ask that those of you who wish to assist in a recruitment during this time, please let an administrative team member know so that we can evaluate your performance and determine which recruitment tasks would be best suited for you. Once the remaining 20 fighters are registered that’s when we’ll have the traditional Physics Week, in which the training rooms will be open to everyone-a, start letting tourists into Smash City, and opening ceremonies. Finally, I’d like to make an announcement in terms of leadership. Marth, I know we didn’t have a formal discussion about this-a, but you really showed your potential leading up to and during Edelgard’s recruitment, so I am awarding you Vice Presidency. Marth will be absorbing some of my responsibilities in the day to day operations, however I will be a part of the recruitment process. I guess this segues into my next-a point. I owe some of my dearest friends an apology for how distant I’ve been lately. This last recruitment has been a positive exercise in the fact that I-a can relinquish some control.”

Mario paused to lock eyes with a blond in a pink dress, who’s eyes were welling already with tears.

“I should say” Mario continued after a long breath, “This isn’t limited to Marth, or even limited to the administrative team. You would a-not be a part of the Smash Order if I didn’t believe in your capacity to help this cause. I expect you to pass down that belief to Hubert, Edelgard, and the new members of this order that will join us in the coming weeks. Remember my friends, WE. ARE. SMASH. BROTHERS!”

Edelgard suspected that, by the sheer volume, about 80 percent of the crowd reciprocated the chant. Edelgard cast a glance at Hubert, who uncharacteristically smirked. Edelgard had to hold back a burst of laughter. Was Hubert having _fun_? Either way, if he was confident in this group of strange beings, she was too.

Mario smiled briefly as he saw Pit rush up and enthusiastically shake the hands of the newcomers with Palutena trailing close behind. Soon, Mario knew, the goddess would be lecturing Pit about being too eager.

_At least my little speech inspired some people_ Mario thought as he pushed his way through the set of doors. They closed behind him, and it was only at that point Mario realized that the hallway was completely dark.

Except for a glowing pair of blue eyes.

“Greetings Master Mario” droned a familiar voice.

“Guardian Alloy?” Mario inquisitively whispered, “What in the Seven Stars are you doing out of the sublevels?”

“I bare an urgent message from Master Hand. He has taken the liberty of selecting the final twenty fighters for you.”

“Guardian Alloy, Master Hand is gone. He has been for years.”

“Our dimension’s Master Hand, yes. But, all Master Hands of the multiverse are connected to all the Guardian Alloys of the multiverse”

Mario’s eyes widened with realization, “Does that mean that Master Hand unlocked the future in the archives?”

Guardian Alloy’s mechanical parts seemed to whir for a second before he continued, “You are familiar with the game chess, correct?”

Mario blinked at the question before responding, “Yes? Who isn’t?”

“Then you know a chess player can only assemble the pieces, but he cannot predict how the game will play out, correct?”

“Yes?”

“Master Hand has given you the pieces necessary, but even he, the great omnipotent one himself, cannot influence or predict the coming conflict.”

“Right. I understand now.”

“The Master is pleased at this. I bid you farewell Master Mario, as the Archives Room remains unguarded.”

Suddenly, the lights clicked on, and Guardian Alloy was nowhere to be seen. As he was processing all that had just happened, he felt someone wrap in a hug from behind

“Oh Mario…” cooed the voice of Peach, “That speech was absolutely wonderful. I assume you’re diminishing your role…because of us?”

Mario sighed, “Yeah babe. It boggles my mind how you can hang out with us all and simultaneously run a kingdom. I can barely do one or the other, as you’ve a-seen these past few days.”

“It’s because, tied with our kingdom, you’re my number one priority and the social events that that entails. I know that people possess different levels of energy, and you’ve reached your peak. I’m really appreciative of the fact that you didn’t burn yourself out at both ends my darling.”

“Being a good partner to you means as much to me as The Smash Brothers do.”

Peach pecked him on the cheek with a giggle. Mario and Peach had kissed several times before this, and had done much more than that, but somehow, those pecks of hers always melted his legs like butter, as if he were 12 years old getting his first kiss all over again.

“Peach, when we start letting tourists in, get your nicest dress, I’ll put on my suit, and we’ll get a gourmet meal prepared on a rooftop some place, just-a you and me.”

Peach let out an exaggerated ‘hmm’ before continuing, “On one condition”

Mario chuckled, “Name it.”

“Can you wear the top hat? You look so _goddamn dapper_ in it.”

Mario was slack jawed, “Did you just curse?”

“Blame Samus seeing Ridley in the hallway every day for the past few weeks. I believe I’ve managed to learn every curse word from her world in that length of time.”

“Oh Seven Stars” Mario gasped, “She’s not cussing in front of the kids is she?”

“Oh, she knows that Captain Falcon would give her a stern talking to if she did.”

“Ey, if you see her before me tell her Uncle Mario said to pretend there’s a kid there every time she sees Ridley. Pass that on to Bayonetta too, so she has no excuse.”

Peach bit her lip, “Look at you, acting all maternal and whatnot. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t dreamy as hell”

“Peach!”

“Or, dreamy as ‘heck’ as Isabelle would say.”

Mario chuckled once again, “Well, we can get dreamy tomorrow night. I’m about to drop into bed like a Thwomp.”

Peach giggled in turn, “I won’t keep you then my darling. Good night.”

The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom finally released her hug, as she watched her knight in shining denim sleepily amble down the hallway to the master suite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, SmashBrosOdyssey here. Just wanted to say that Hubert’s “super move” was done with the intention of wanting to do a super move, but being unaware of how crits/gambits worked in Fire Emblem Three Houses, so a compromise was made between the two. That aside, thank you for reading, and stay tuned for the next chapter in which Snake and Isabelle make cookies for Edelgard! What hijinks will ensue? Find out next week!


	16. Villains: Conker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before the Garegg Mach battle, Conker gets a visit from his benefactor.

**Villains: Conker**

**Conker’s castle, main bedroom, night (the night before the Garreg Mach battle)**

Conker tossed and turned in his sleep. This wasn’t uncommon since he came to have the Smash Core. Even though he was restless, his mind was in a now-familiar state, in the midst of a lucid dream, in the center of a pitch-dark room, with a voice whispering out. His advisors all had wondered if this was the voice of the Smash Core itself, speaking out to him

“If you are lucid, not aligning with the Smash Core would be stupid” Gruntilda had told him one day over a strategy session.

Beyond this, it was starting to worry Berri. Something about the Smash Core, she had theorized, was altering his mood. He had felt it in the meeting with King K Rool. He had gone from white-hot anger, back to feeling as if he was almost high on some depressant, back to normal. Conker had avoided the voices in the dreams for months, afraid to go too deep. But, if it meant making Berri happy, and doing what was needed to achieve his plan, he’d do anything,

And so, there he was again. Whispered voices in a pitch-dark room. Conker cleared his throat,

“Okay ghost, let’s make a deal.”

“I am no ghost,” said a static-filled, wispy voice

And then, the corporeal form took shape. A green silhouette of a man, its legs crossed in an almost mangled way, and cold, dead voids of nothingness for eyes and mouth  
Conker could feel every ounce of warmth leave his body

“Tabuu” whispered Conker

Evil, callous laughter filled the air, “Yes. Long have I been thought dead. But, long have I watched. Long have I watched my sons try to control the core of the universe, a power meant for literally only me. Long have I watched you, King Red Squirrel, abuse my power. Bring back dead generals and your lover. Pathetic wants reserved for weak flesh creatures.”

Conker gulped, causing the creature to laugh again

“And yet, the Smashers, those flesh beings I had my sons gather, continue to live. This despite enacting my ultimate plans nearly a decade ago. My strategy of using the very aura of the universe to sustain my existence, And yet, now I realize my error. I am all, I am everything”

From the darkness appeared seemingly infinite hands. Wherever Conker and Tabuu were, they were very clearly outside, as white-gloved hands appeared as far as Conker could see, up and out in every direction.

“These are the Hands, my sons, of every conceivable reality. I will use them to siphon the power I need to eliminate this Smash Brotherhood. And then I shall…”

“Not to interrupt” interrupted Conker, “But weren’t ya in some Subspace gunk last time you did this?”

“Yes. My errors were twofold. My own pocket dimension, Subspace was a place I could hold my form together, but it was in anti-matter. Matter, the kind your world is made of, is what I need to sustain myself. And, when I went out into the corporeal world, I had a form that was ill-suited to use it for long periods of time. That’s why I need you. I need to siphon Hands so I can come out to your world with enough power to take out the Smashers. This will take the length of the Smasher’s tournament to accomplish. When the time comes I need you, King Red Squirrel, to serve as my corporeal form so I can strike the ultimate blow.” Tabuu bookending his rant with a primal snarl

“Uh, what do we get outta this? Ya know, me and Berri…”

“You, your friends, and the allies you accrue to serve at my side will have a pocket universe in mine, free to live with all you can want, with nothing to harm you.”

“If it makes Berri happy, deal!”

“Good Red Squirrel. Tell no one.”

Back in the real world, Conker shot up, his fur matted with rapidly-accumulating cold sweat

“What’s wrong babe?” asked Berri, also shooting up at Conker’s outburst.

“Nothin, in fact, nothing will be wrong ever again. I made an arrangement, and everything gets movin at the end of the Smash tournament.”

“Okay Conker. I trust you. I love you” Berri cooed, snuggling deep into his chest.

_If this is the reception I get, I TOTALLY made the right decision_ Conker thought with glee as he ran his claws gently through Berri’s hair.


	17. Interlude 3: Cookies!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solid Snake, Isabelle, and Haru Okumura bake cookies. Disagreements are had.

**Interlude: Cookies!**

**POP!  
**With a string of curse words, Snake immediately flew out of bed to tuck and roll away from whatever was _shooting_ at him he guessed. Only after peaking up from over the bed did he see Isabelle standing there, her eyes wide with shock, holding the remains of a party popper, “Um…I didn’t expect you to react that way Mister Snake.” sheepishly remarked the secretary.

_Would a dog from a cartoon world understand PTSD?_ thought Snake as he mulled over what to say next.

“I, uh….startle easily. I’m sorry to scare you.”

Isabelle closed her eyes and giggled, “Don’t apologize, Mister Snake, it’s clear I’m the one that scared you! Tee hee!”

Snake let a wry grin escape him. He had to admit, that was funny.

“So, why the wakeup call?”

“Hm?” Isabelle asked, cocking her head to the side

“C’mon, I know how well dogs can hear.”

Suddenly, realization dawned on Isabelle’s face, “Oh! You don’t remember?”

_Shit._

“Remember what?”

“We’re supposed to bake cookies for Edelgard, Hubert, and Sonic today!”

Another grin. Something about this girl’s obsession with baking for large groups reminded him of Sunny. Maybe that’s why she melted his old, icy heart.

“Aw. I was hoping you forgot” playfully chided the mercenary

Isabelle shrugged, “Nope! I’m heading to the kitchen now! Come on down when you’re decent!” she said, skipping merrily out the door, and presumably to the kitchen on the lower level.

As Snake had only worn underwear to bed, he simply threw on a tank top and some a pair of plaid pajama pants Nana had knitted him for the end of the Brawl tournament. He went into the shared bathroom, flipped on the light, and rummaged through the cabinet on the sink, finding what he was looking for, a large suitcase. He opened the suitcase, finding a tupperware container opening it briefly to review its contents.

_Ah ha, ration cookies_ Snake thought triumphantly _Now, to brush my teeth_

Snake began to brush his teeth, he started to hum a tune. Like the smell of military ration cookie dough, this song resonated throughout his childhood. It was the voice of his mother EVA who was singing for sure, but how could he have heard it? Had she sung it to him and Liquid before they were separated? Had it been recorded for his handlers to use to soothe him as a child? There were lots of things Snake didn’t remember, thusly there were lots of potential theories. That one just happened to make the most sense based on what he knew. Regardless, the tune reminded him of peace, and so, on days when he was in a good mood, he would think of it.

_What a thrill_

_With darkness and silence through the night_

_What a thrill_

_I'm searching and I'll melt into you_

_What a fear in my heart_

_But you're so supreme!_

_I give my life_

_Not for honor, but for you_

That last part always hit him with a twinge of sadness, “I give my life, not for honor, but for you”

 _Maybe that’s why I love this place so much, so many honorable people. Something about this place has a calming effect, even the evil Smashers seem to be civil_ Snake thought as he spat the toothpaste from his mouth into the sink. He briefly considered flossing,

“No,” Snake grumbled to no one in particular, “I’m having cookies for breakfast, what’s the point?”

He briefly considered using mouth wash but…

“No, I think I’m going to have a few more cigarettes than normal today, so what’s the point?”

Snake muttered to himself briefly about having cookies for breakfast as a “grown-ass man” as he picked up the container, leaving his room, closing the door behind him, the special Tupperware container tucked under his arm.

The walk to the kitchen had been surprisingly brief, and as he opened the door to the small kitchen, he could hear Isabelle chattering with someone already. Snake opened the door. The woman with Snake had exceptionally…fluffy brown hair was wearing a thick looking pink sweater and was wearing some polka dot leggings as pants, a modern fashion choice that had baffled Snake when Bayonetta had tried to explain it to him, and a black short skirt with red trim.

“Who are you?” Snake asked the mystery girl.

Isabelle yipped in his direction, which caught the mercenary soldier’s attention, “Snake! That is NOT how we greet people!”

Snake felt a hot wash of shame as if he’d been reprimanded by a teacher.

“I’m sorry Isabelle, it’s a force of habit.”

The secretary to the Mayor of Smashville put her paws on her hips somewhat playfully, “Well, then try again” she said with an amused smirk on her face

Snake sighed, “Hello, my name’s Solid Snake. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

The fluffy-haired girl smiled politely, “No, I don’t believe we have, we couldn’t have. My name’s Haru Okumura. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Snake, I’m a…erm…colleague of Joker’s.”

_Great, another person on the ‘Mister Snake’ train. At this rate, Ocelot will be calling me that by the time the tournament’s over._

Suddenly something clicked in Snake’s head that the Okumura girl had said earlier

“Wait, what do you mean couldn’t have? Where have you been all this time?”

Haru sighed while Isabelle snorted with laughter, “It’s a long and complicated story that involves our other colleague Futaba using the internet to spread false rumors about who Fighter 5 would be. I believe she used the name ‘Brew’ or was it ‘Papa’ something? Anyway, the robot, ROB found out about it, and we’ve been grounded for the lack of a better term up until today.”

“Remind me to introduce your friend Futaba to my friend Otacon.”

“I mean, if Futaba has another hacker friend out of this, I think we’d all be for it.”

Isabelle giggled, which brought the other two’s attention to her. At a speed which seemed to rival Sonic’s with no discernable explanation, she was whizzing around the kitchen, getting out the necessary tools and ingredients.

“Isabelle, no need for that. I’ve got my own homemade recipe right here” Snake announced to the girls with a broad smile, retrieving setting the container that contained his cookies on the kitchen island

Isabelle stopped briefly, opening the container and retrieving a cookie, “Why is this wrapped like a muffin?” inquired Isabelle

She sniffed it briefly, and began to gag uncontrollably, “EW!” the normally docile dog shrieked in between gags, “WHY DO THEY SMELL LIKE CIGARETTES???”

“Cigarettes?” asked a baffled Haru, “You can’t be serious”

Now it was Haru’s turn to sniff a cookie. Her face contorted, “SNAKE! WHY WOULD YOU BRING COOKIES THAT SMELL LIKE CIGARETTES!”

“It’s the way my father made them.” snapped Snake

“And what kind of man was your father?” protested Isabelle

“A man who lived exclusively off of Korean War rations.” Snake explained

Haru raised an eyebrow at him. Her next words came out slowly as if it was breaking every bit of her constitution to have to speak them in real life, “Do you mean like…the Korean/American War? The one that happened 60 years ago?”

“No, you don’t understand. My father had these rations made this way because that’s how things were in his time when he was a soldier. These are relatively fresh ingredients, just made the old way.” 

“Snake…how old are these rations?” asked Haru, who’s choked back voice indicated she was one comment away from vomiting

“Let’s see…Zanzibar Land was in ’99, so that old.”

“I wasn’t even born yet” dryly remarked Haru, her eyes wide with horror, and her skin drained of color, “Oh my God, Isabelle, I can’t. I’m sorry, I just…” she babbled as she staggered out of the kitchen.

“Nonononono,” protested Isabelle, who skittered to hold block Haru’s exit by placing her paws firmly on her abdomen, “Snake have….have you been cooking like your father….this whole time?” asked the secretary

Snake paused. No one had ever called his self-sufficiency into question before, nor had he ever examined it himself.

“I mean, I’ve only ever been a soldier. I live off rations and the land, and I’ve never really had to examine it further.”

Haru’s ironclad will to get out of the kitchen softened, her eyes gazing to Snake with a look of pity, “Oh no, Snake. I’m so sorry”

Isabelle grinned, “Well, we can examine it right now, and teach you how to make chocolate chip cookies the proper way. Then will all be forgiven Snake?”

Snake smiled, “Yeah, all would be forgiven.”

“Hooray!” cheered Isabelle, “C’mon Haru, I’ll need your help. We’ll be explaining the process as we go, so Snake, put on your best listening ears, and learn from the masters.” she concluded with a wink

For the next hour, Solid Snake, the mercenary of legend…learned how to bake chocolate chip cookies with the finest ingredients available. He watched as Isabelle and Haru combined ingredients to make a delicious dough, and in the process, surmised that baking could be a leisurely activity if the skills involved were sufficiently mastered. The trade was a fair one, however, as while the cookies baked in the oven, Snake, Isabelle, and Haru played poker, with Snake teaching the two inexperienced women the rules of the game. Before they knew it, the cookies were done, a delicious golden brown, as the smell of chocolate permeated the air.

As Snake set the cookies down on the table with the help of some bright pink unicorn oven mitts Haru had brought, Isabelle keyed into her wrist communicator.

Suddenly Sonic zipped into the room, snagging a cookie as he ran. As he came to a stop, he was already halfway through the cookie he had pilfered

“Oh, man who made these?” Sonic announced to the room

That’s when Sonic caught Snake out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh my Emeralds no” Sonic shivered, his complexion now a ghostly pale

“What’s wrong Mister Sonic?” asked Isabelle with a frown

“You had HIM bake these? HIM?” Sonic shouted, “He gave me the jelly bar from his rations when we were roommates, and I had to go to Doctor Mario to get my stomach pumped, and lemme tell ya, that’s no good!” Sonic exclaimed, dramatically putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head with vigor.

“But Mister Sonic, I supervised!” Isabelle squeaked, “Miss Haru did too!”

“Oh! That explains why these are good then! If Snake can bake something edible, that must mean you’re some kinda miracle worker Miss Isabelle”

Snake looked over to see Isabelle blush and stammer out something humble in reply, but Snake’s blood could only run cold.

_Oh no. if Sonic and Isabelle become an item. I’ll have to see if Otacon can just shoot me in the back of the head._

“We got your message on this confounded wrist machine” came a voice from the kitchen entrance

Edelgard strolled into the room, followed closely by Hubert, both nobles curiously eying the cookies on the kitchen island

“Ah! Glad you could make it Mister Hubert, Miss Edelgard. I’m Isabelle, this is Haru, one of Joker’s friends, and…”

“I’m Solid Snake. Pleased to meet you Edelgard.”

“And I’m Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive!”

Hubert and Edelgard simultaneously raised their eyebrows at that, but Edelgard was quick to change subjects, “Oh my, you’ve made sweets to welcome Hubert and I, how kind!”

“Now Your Highness,” interjected Hubert, “You need to be in top fighting shape for this tournament. I would suggest one sweet, for each of us of course. It’s only fair that I hold myself to the same standards that I hold you to.”

Edelgard nodded, taking a cookie, and biting into it. Her eyes went wide, as if she was a young child tasting sugar for the first time, “By the Goddess Hubert this might be the finest sweet I’ve ever had.”

“Really?” Hubert asked, taking a cookie of his own. His eyes too, went wide, “As usual Your Highness, your observations are as sharp as ever. This is delicious!”

Edelgard held up a finger with a bemused smirk on her face, “Remember Hubert, one sweet.”

Hubert grumbled, “Confound it.”

Sonic smirked, “Here, let me take the temptation away.”

Sonic bolted around the cookie table several times, and in a flash, all the cookies were gone. The only evidence of the crime was Sonic shouting, “Thanks for the cookies Isabelle!” as bolted down the hallway.

“Oh dear,” Hubert mused, shock in his eyes, “I do believe he might be the fastest thing alive, as he said.”

“We shouldn’t underestimate hearsay in this realm Hubert, as it’s full of surprises,” remarked Edelgard, turning to the other people in the room, “I suppose we must be going. Thank you again for the sweets, they were delicious!” Edelgard said with a wave as she and Hubert exited the kitchen

Snake turned to Haru and Isabelle, “Thanks for the lesson girls, but I’ll be taking a nap here soon.”

“It was our pleasure teaching your Mister Snake. It was quite fun!” Haru exclaimed with a smile

“I second that!” agreed Isabelle, “Have a good nap, Mister Snake”

Snake stretched, “Oh, trust me, I will.” he said, ambling out of the kitchen

Much to his amusement, as he walked out of earshot, he heard Isabelle mutter something to Haru about “destroying those yucky rations with my mallet”

**Later that evening**

When Snake awoke from his nap, he had two private messages on his wrist communicator. One was from Ryuji, the blond one of Joker’s posse, exclaiming how hilarious the ‘cigarette cookie’ prank was, and how much Ryuji ‘effin loved him’ and ‘effin loved Smash Bros’. The other was from Greninja.

“Monsieur Snake, I believe we should be in the training room as much as possible over the next week mon ami. I hear that Mario et ses amis are looking to recruit a ninja, and I believe we would be the team for the job. Répondez s'il vous plait.”

Snake was dreary from the nap, but his French was sharp enough to comprehend what the ninja frog from the France-influenced Pokemon country was implying. As fun as cookie baking was, a soldier always had an itch for a fight that they could never scratch, and with the training rooms having been closed for so long, a fight was long overdue.


	18. Origins: Quinn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Wuhu Island, the Brawler School tournament concludes, the prize being a spot on the Smash Bros Roster. Young underdog Quinn Marmaduke takes on the legendary Wii Sports Matt!

**Origins: Quinn**

In the multiverse, many deities were believed in and subsequently worshipped. However, in each corner of the multiverse, some fringe scholars believed in “Creators” a group of sentient beings who have sculpted every aspect of the multiverse to reflect the adventures they imagine. However, there was one place where Creators were believed in almost universally. The capital of this planet was the tropical Wuhu Island, and its populace was simply known as Miis. Wuhu Island had become the center of trade and commerce in the multiverse around the time of the Duel Tournament, when its champions Hart Bromeister and Plum, captain of the Mii Police Force, were chosen to represent their ilk in the tournament. As a result of that exposure, so people from all over began to flock to Wuhu. As people from all over the multiverse enjoyed the sports and recreation Wuhu Island had to offer, these tourists had picked up on the Miis’ religious tendencies Rumor quickly spread that the Miis were crafted in the image of the Creators by the Creators themselves, although most Miis, who were humble, laid-back people, would never affirm such narcissistic nonsense, preferring to simply enjoy life with their neighbors, and have a good time doing it.

However, here in the present time, there was one Mii who had reason to be anxious and concerned. His name was Quinn Marmaduke, and he was a student of the Hart Bromeister Brawler School, opened by the former Smasher after his heroics in a near cataclysmic incident had ended his fighting career. Now, here Quinn was after a month-long series of lucky wins, finding himself in the finals of a school-wide, single-elimination tournament. There had been tournaments of this format before, usually to signal the end of a term or a major holiday. However, this was without a doubt the biggest tournament in the school’s history, all because of the prize, which was the honor of representing the school in the Smash Brothers Ultimate Tournament, taking Hart’s spot on the roster. Quinn had been the talk of the town, as a middle-ranked member of the “average joe” team, Red Team, he had surpassed several high ranked members of his own team as well as the notoriously lackluster Green team, the second-tier blue team, and the elite Yellow Team In a few hours, Quinn would take on his opponent, the very reason why the Yellow Team was the highest-ranked in the school, Matt Hennig, the team’s captain. Matt was objectively the best fighter, nay, the best athlete at school. Whatever the task, whether it was as intensive as hand to hand combat, or something as low-key as a game of horseshoes, Matt’s technique was immaculate, and he was unbeatable. What’s more, it had been that way since the dawn of the original Wii Sports league, to the point where Matt was known as “Matt from Wii Sports,” And Quinn would have to fight this man to make his dreams come true. But that was two hours from now. For now, Quinn was happy to sit in the darkness of his shared dormitory and contemplate. That was until the door opened, and out of the fluorescent light stepped a figure with a familiar voice.

“Bro, why is it so dark in here?”

Quinn sighed. It was his roommate, the school’s consummate slacker, so much so that it stood out on the already lackadaisical Green Team, known only by his last name, Riddle. Riddle flipped on the light, Quinn turning to grimace as the sudden burst of light hit his eyeballs. When Quinn’s eyes adjusted to the light, he saw that like himself, Riddle was adorned in his team workout jersey. Although the Mii hardly every participated in Smash training, often putting forth minimal effort when he did, the guy sure did love to work out.

“Dude, I was just…thinking about today”

Riddle blew a raspberry in dismissal, “Bro, that’s like, your problem man. You’re always anxious, always thinking. That ain’t good for fighting bro.”

“Riddle I really don’t need your advice right n-“

“No, hear me out bro. When you think in a fight, your opponent can like, tell you’re thinking and stuff. Just do what you gotta do, and go with your heart, not your brain. I read somewhere your heart’s instincts are usually right.”

The hazel-eyed, hazel haired, Mii raised his eyebrow at his long blond-haired, green-clad roommate, “You read?”

Another dismissive raspberry, “Bro, of course, I do! But the language of love is more familiar to me than anything in a book!”

Quinn sighed. Usually when Riddle brought up love or girls apropos of nothing, that usually meant he was bringing a girl to their dorm for some romantic activities. Coincidentally, girls and working out were the only two things Riddle seemed to be serious about. “You got a girl coming?” asked Marmaduke.

“You bet I do man! Sally again!”

Once again, Quinn raised an eyebrow, “Again? She must be something special if you bring her around more than twice.”

Riddle smirked, “I guess so bro. Romantics do say there’s somebody out there for everybody. Dude, I bet there’s somebody out there for _you_ even. Maybe if you did anything other than study and train, you’d find them!” chided Riddle with a playful wink.

Quinn rolled his eyes, getting up to leave. Briefly patting down his pockets to make sure had had his most personal belongings, his wallet and his room key, he exited the door. “Wish me luck!” Quinn said with a wave.

“Yeah, man! Me n’ Sally will be watching you on TV, rootin for ya!” waved back Riddle.

With that, Quinn closed the door, breathing in, steeling himself for the several block jog to Wuhu Stadium.

\ 

**Wuhu Stadium**

Quinn paused in front of the massive, open-air colosseum that was Wuhu Stadium. Constructed at the end of the Duel tournament specifically for Smash Brothers training and matches. Despite all locations being computer simulated during official tournaments to guarantee the safety of its competitors, real-life analogs were built in specific places in the multiverse so that those interested could attempt to train in the Smasher style. Wuhu Island, a town called Smashville, the adjacent city to Smashville, and several stadiums in the Pokemon universe were places Quinn could think of off the top of his head that was either built from the ground up or reconfigured to suit this very purpose.

Quinn flashed his school ID to the man working the parking booth, and the gate raised. Steeling himself with a deep breath once again, Quinn jogged to the front of the stadium, where he saw a single man waiting for him. Sporting his signature cowlick brown hair, adorned in an all-red three-piece suit, and sporting his trademark oversized sunglasses was Hart Bromeister, the original Mii Fighter

“Hey bro! You’re lucky this island runs on Wuhu time mother ducker, or else you’d be late” shouted the man

“Sorry, Mister Hart! Thought I’d jog to the stadium instead of taking the shuttle!”

Hart smirked, “ Ha! Running out the anxiousness! You’re just like me bro! Just show ‘em whatcha know, and you’ll do Red Team proud dude! C’mon, follow me!”

As Hart directed Quinn to the locker room area, he saw something bolt by. It was a humanoid, with…scales for hair? And it was holding an outfit on a hanger as it ran?

“Inklings?” Quinn remarked but caught himself.

Luckily the busy Inkling hadn’t heard, but Hart whipped around, “Yeah man! I just got the deal ironed out a couple of days ago! Whoever wins you and Matt’s fight will be in an exhibition against Torri Gachi.”

Quinn’s eyes went wide. In the Inklings’ native sport of Turf War, which was a hot ticket item on Wuhu Island television. One of its rising stars was Torri Gachi. A rebellious sort from one of Inkopolis’ wealthiest families, the purple-tentacled Torri was a beloved celebrity wherever one could reliably watch the great sport of Turf War.  
And she was here…to potentially fight him. Quinn could only gulp.

“What’s that man? You’re too tightly wound. Don’t think. You’ve got it.”

“Riddle said the same thing before I left,” remarked Quinn.

Hart chuckled lightly, “Hey, my cousin has some pretty good advice sometimes bro.”

“You guys are cousins?” Quinn asked. Then, he thought of all the ‘bros” he’d heard between them today, “Actually, that makes all the sense in the world now that I think about it.”

Hart laughed, “C’mon, we’ve messed around enough, we need to head to the locker room.” 

Hart and Quinn stayed mostly silent on the remainder of the walk down to the catacombs of Wuhu Stadium, with Hart occasionally shooting one quick question to a production assistant. Quinn had assumed that it was something about tonight’s presentation, but he couldn’t focus enough to listen. Hart opened the door to a locker room. It was a lush space, with a couch, and TV as its centerpieces with some water in an ice bucket in the corner.

“I would say you can get changed here but uh… it looks like you’re already in your gear.”

For the first time since his morning workout, Quinn cast a glance down at himself. True to Hart’s word, he was wearing the workout uniform symbolic of the Brawler School, a team color gi with a black belt tied around his waist with oddly futuristic-looking metal kick pads on his legs adorned by the Smash Bros. logo Had he seriously not changed from working out? Had he seriously been so up his own butt that he didn’t even bring a change of clothes like a civilized person? When it came time to respond to Hart’s quip, all the young man could muster was a sheepish, “Oh.”

Hart erupted into laughter, “Nah man don’t sweat it, we’ve all done dumber I’m sure. And running to the stadium in your gear is a hell of an advertisement for the school. Good job kiddo!” he said, patting Quinn on the shoulder, “I gotta go see if Matt’s ready, a production assistant will let you know when it’s time to do your walkout. Good luck bro!” Hart said, with a playful salute as he walked out the door.

 _Whelp, guess I’ve got the time to work out,_ thought Quinn as he set about beginning his warm-up stretches.

**An hour and a half later**

Quinn surmised he hadn’t stopped moving since Hart left the room. Sit-ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, running in place, shadow boxing, oblique exercises, even pull-ups on one of the coat hangers drilled into the wall. Hart has done it all. What had inspired the near-perpetual movement was the perpetual beehive Quinn’s mind became whenever he stopped to transition between sets, at which point the severity of his situation. Here he was, an average at best fighter despite all the work he put in, up against the very face of Wuhu pride, not to mention athletic perfection. Then, like a lightbulb in a cartoon, a realization had dawned on him, something that Riddle had said earlier today.

_Just do what you gotta do, and go with your heart, not your brain,_

“My heart, not my brain. My heart, not my brain. My heart, not my…”

 **KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK  
** “Quinn, it’s the time!

Quinn opened the door, seeing uniformed Mii Police ready to walk with him to the arena floor, as well as a camera ready to document the action. As the crew began to move, with one police officer on either side, he noticed that the cameraman was walking backward with incredible ease, filming the walkout. Batting his instinctual urge to mug for the camera, Quinn tucked his chin, shadowboxing as he walked. For what seemed like forever, the men walked in the same formation, until Quinn could see the sunshine of Wuhu Island being down. He heard the upbeat orchestral tempo of the Duel Tournament’s theme song as well.

Taking one final deep breath, he ran through the curtains to the adulation of the crowd. As it had been all tournament, the adulation seemed to come mostly from women of all varying ages. Hart had explained that he had a “boy band” quality to him, but even with that distinction, Quinn couldn’t understand what they saw in him.

Quinn struck a karate stance in the middle of the oddly curved Wuhu Island stage to an even shriller squeal of approval from the girls in the audience. A strangely polygonal looking man adorned in an all-black referee outfit pointing him to his side of the arena. There were a few seconds of silence before the opening notes of the Wii Sports theme hit, causing a roar of approval as the denizens of Wuhu Island welcomed their hero. Quinn meanwhile, was genuflecting in his corner, faced away from the enormous jumbotron, not out of desperate pleas to The Creators, or out of fear, but out of focus. Matt was most well-known for an unflinching scowl, and if Quinn allowed himself to be intimidated by that, the fight had already been lost. More roaring indicated to Quinn that Matt had entered the arena. Quinn stood, hopping up and down briefly to get the blood flowing again, as a hush fell over the arena. Suddenly, a cybernetic blue aura enveloped the arena floor, disappearing as quickly as it had come. Quinn closed his eyes, breathing a sigh of relief. He felt the gravity change, almost as if everything was lighter, allowing him to jump higher and faster.  
  


They were on playing under Smash Rules now.

Both fighters headed to the center of the arena to receive instructions from the referee, “Rules are three stock, no time limit, items on medium. Damage percentages will not be shown Any questions?”

Quinn shook his head, Matt just grunted.

Suddenly, the referee teleported away, while a very familiar voice was heard

“ **3, 2, 1, GO!** ”

Both men struck fighting stances for a moment, eying each other up, before Matt broke the silence, “You know what I don’t like about you Smash folk?”

Quinn pondered the question then…  
 **SMACK!  
** Matt cuffed an unsuspecting Quinn across the face.

When he had first begun at the school, Quinn had been hit by a car during a jog. Without question, the slap to the face from Matt had hurt more.

“Too fancy,” Matt snarled, grabbing Quinn by the gi, “I bet I could beat you without using one of Headmaster Hart’s fancy-schmancy special moves punk”

It was around that moment that Quinn regained his footing, having noticed that the flying platform had flown to the bridge section already. His grasp of the situation was to be short-lived, however. Matt spiked his head into the ground. When Quinn stood back up, he found himself knocked into the air by a kick, and then another, sending them both over a gap in the bridge. As Quinn flopped through the air, he noticed a Pokeball had appeared just behind him. Scrambling to grab the red and white ball as he landed on his back, he spiked the ball onto the floor next to him. As the ball broke apart, and energy erupted from it, Quinn heard a familiar cry.

“Rai-chu!”

Quinn smirked. Alolan Raichu wasn’t exactly the best Pokemon on the list of the critters one could find in a Smash battle, but at this point, he would take it. Using its tail as a surfboard to fly through the air, Raichu flew towards Matt completely unhesitant Just as Quinn got to his feet, he noticed Matt and the Raichu had collided, Matt struck a defensive fighting stance, a pang erupting through the air, his eyes flashing an eerie yellow, followed closely by another. This was a technique called “parrying”. Instructors at the school had explained it as using one’s chi to reflect the damage an attack would do into the air. This technique was typically only mastered by Team Captains are people close to the rank. Luckily for Quinn though, Matt was being attacked handily by the Raichu, with no way to handle the blows until the Pokemon disappeared into thin air. Just as Quinn began to breathe a little easier, a familiar melody reached his ears, the melody of the Super Star item. The jaunty, triumphant tune came closer as Matt leaped through the air, once again peppering Quinn with kicks. Judging how Quinn felt, he had to estimate he was somewhere in the mid-forties range of damage percent. It was then the red and white hover pad that the two had begun their battle on picked them up again, this time sporting a floating platform in the center. This did not phase Matt however, who simply grabbed Quinn by the shirt and tossed him to the opposite end of the stage, where an Assist Trophy happened to spawn. Triumphantly holding the trophy in the air, it’s casing shattered, and the ninja from the Earth Solid Snake resided from, Grey Fox, leaped out, muttering something unintelligible as he bolted for Matt. Before Matt could even think to defend, Grey Fox delivered a lightning-fast volley of Slashes. Matt broke away, trying to juke the automated visage of the ninja with worried huffs, first jumping onto the platform, and then stepping off. Even with these evasive maneuvers, on the far right of the platform, Grey Fox slashed into Matt again and again. It was then that Quinn had an idea, “Time to show off a bit.” he muttered to himself.

Quinn ran to the center of the platform, taking a few more steps to line up his shot, and then executed. His dominant right hand glowed a fiery red as the power within allowed him to slide effortlessly towards Matt. He grabbed him by the throat, as the two launched into the air, pivoting so Matt’s scowling face had an unplanned date with the floor.

“SUPLEX!” screamed Quinn as the two combatants hurtled towards the floor, suppressing a howl of laughter as Matt was brought back into the final slashes of Grey Fox’s slashing assault before the Assist Trophy disappeared.

As it had before, the Wuhu Island platform gave way. Now, the two combatants were atop the metal starting line for the island’s Power Cruiser (known in literally every other place in the world as Jet Ski) races. Suddenly, Matt punched Quinn right in the privates. As he fell to the ground in pain, another Assist Trophy appeared out of nowhere. This time, when the capsule broke, Quinn heard a nasally, maniacal laugh.

_Creator damn it, it’s Waluigi._

The automated visage of the bizarrely loved purple-clad man began to stomp on an already downed Quinn, burying him in the ground. As Waluigi stomped without pause, Quinn briefly thanked the absence of a damage percentage on his wrist. The assumedly astronomical number, combined with the sensation of being buried, one of Quinn’s least favorite sensations, would only serve to make him anxious. Suddenly he felt a tennis racket connect with his face, hard. He flew off of the platform, and past the cybernetic wall. He’d lost a stock but tried to put that out of his mind as the healing field on the transporter healed him. He had to even the odds. Immediately jumping off the platform, he began to smack Matt with light punches and kicks. A Smasher couldn’t see their opponent’s damage unless the arena had a jumbotron, but even so, there were signs, like flashing red, and having steam, a byproduct of what was deemed “Rage mode”. Matt, much to Quinn’s enjoyment, was exhibiting all these signs. Suddenly, a flash erupted, and a Smash Ball appeared, plopping to the ground behind Quinn. Reeling back, Matt clocked Quinn as hard as he could in the jaw. Quinn let the force of the blow take him into the air, performing a backflip landing behind the Smash Ball, Quinn caught a look of Matt’s eyes. They were expressionless voids, Matt, usually stoic, was growling like a wounded animal, punching at the Smash Ball, demanding it, “Break, you piece of trash”

Meanwhile, Quinn struck an unusual fighting stance, standing on one foot while his right foot was reared back. The longer it stayed reared, the more Quinn’s poised foot glowed like an ember.

“EXPLODING KICK!” Quinn screamed

His foot snapped forward, nailing Matt in the forehead, sending him past the wall, and forfeiting him a stock. Quinn paused briefly to wipe his brow and smirk. The game was even.

Just as Matt reappeared, stepping off the recovery platform, a Hothead appeared at his feet. The Wii Sports legend picked up the sun-like object and spiked it down, leaving it to rotate around the platform. Just as he did, a Steel Diver landed at Quinn’s feet. Without hesitation, Quinn picked out the rocket launcher modeled like a toy submarine and fired. Three missiles, each one hung in the air for a split second before zooming to collide with Matt. Unfortunately for Quinn, each collided with the Hothead as well, ballooning it to an enormous side. Matt plopped to a sitting position, sitting cross-legged with a sinister smile on his face, “Whatcha gonna do, come get some?” roared Matt over the Wuhu winds.

Quinn used his foot to break the barely together Smash Ball, allowing himself to absorb the aura before leaping into the air again, getting a point-blank shot with the Steel Diver, while simultaneously getting hit with the Hothead. Both men flew into the air, in opposite directions, each managing to avoid the dreaded cybernetic wall and jump in midair back to platform land on the platform. On yet another rotation, the enormous Hothead collided with the Smash Ball. It broke apart, its innards flying into Matt, giving him the power of the Smash Ball. Both men ran towards each other on the main platform, but Quinn was quicker on the draw, sliding to grab Matt for another suplex. After shouting the move name once again, Quinn drove Matt into the top platform. The impact from the Suplex and Quinn colliding with the Hothead sent both men off stage, nullifying the presence of the Smash Ball as well. The game was even, one to one. The next fall decided it.

Both men jumped down from the platforms, and once the invincibility aura wore off, the two went punch for punch like boxers. Quinn had seen Matt box in the days of Wii Sports and had seen many Miis bent into gruesome positions just from his punches, but somehow Quinn was still standing. He had to stand, he thought. He had to win.

Suddenly, two items appeared out of thin air, another Steel Diver, and a Timer. Both competitors noticed, casting a glance at the weapons, then at each other making a simultaneous leap for the cache of weapons. Quinn caught the Timer first, as Matt slowed to a surreal speed, as the tropical paradise gave way to a purple-on-black vortex while Matt slowly floated through the air. In a flash, Quinn fired all ten shots of the Steel Diver, each rocket connecting with a prone Matt. A Pokeball materialized out of the air above Matt, who caught it. With a scream, Matt tossed it to Quinn, who caught it like an outfielder would catch a fly ball in baseball. He spiked it on the ground. With a triumphant “Hee-yah” a Staryu whizzed out, locking on to Matt, who had jumped in the air to avoid the onslaught. However, it was for naught, shooting stars out of its center, its trademark Swift attack. Quinn smirked, he saw his chance. Quinn stood nearly nose-to-nose, with Matt, rearing back his foot. Matt screamed obscenities in vain as the final blow was delivered.

“EXPLODING KICK!”

**“GAME!”**

The platform on which Quinn stood, which was just seconds ago sailing through the Wuhu skies, suddenly found itself center stage at Wuhu Stadium.

“QUINN WINS! YOU SAW IT HERE FOLKS! HE WILL REPRESENT THE MII BRAWLER SCHOOL IN THE NEXT TOURNAMENT!”

What Quinn heard next baffled him. He heard the normal squealing of girls, a few male cheers, more than before the fight. Also, he heard an undercurrent of booing. He didn’t have time to process this for long however, as before he knew it, Hart was standing in front of him. The adulation of the crowd became hushed when Hart removed his sunglasses, revealing a bandage over his left eye. He placed the comedically oversized sunglasses on Quinn, raising his hand in victory to a more unified cheer of congratulations from the crowd.

“Matt got cocky today. Don’t let these schlubs shrieking bother ya. You earned this bro!” Hart whispered into Quinn’s ear, before departing for the back.

Quinn barely got to celebrate before the PA announcer spoke again, “Ladies and gentlemen, now that the Brawler School representative has been determined, we would like to turn it over to our special guest. Please welcome the commissioner of the Turf War League of Inkopolis, JUDD!”

From the back, a rotund bipedal cat man ambled out, grumbling something about a “newfangled machine” as his headset hummed to life, “Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride I introduce to y’all the finest athlete in Turfwar, Torri Gachi!”

With a massive “Woomi!” a purple squid burst through the doors onto the arena floor, purple ink trailing behind her. The squid splashed into the middle of the arena floor, forming a small pink puddle. What emerged was a purple tentacled woman wearing what essentially amounted to a schoolgirl uniform, sweater, jacket, pink plaid skirt, high socks, and nice dress shoes. The crowd erupted into a ferocious cheer. Quinn shouldn’t have expected any less, as he was dealing with the Inkopolis equivalent of a pop idol, but nonetheless, he found himself intimidated as the two met in center ring. The referee slipped Quinn a Healing Sprout, which he gladly bit into. While simply holding it was the preferred way to use a Healing Sprout, biting into it, if one could get passed the extremely bitter taste, would heal all ailments. Quinn was barely listening as he caught wind of Torri’s toothy smile. The instructions were the same as the last time, 3 stocks, items on medium. Quinn briefly considered taking it easy this fight, as he’d already punched his ticket for Smash Bros. That thought immediately left him however as he remembered the boos from earlier. He hadn’t had time to analyze why he had been booed, but another win would prove at least some of the haters wrong, right?

 **“3, 2, 1 GO!”** screamed the familiar announcer.

Immediately, Torri opened fire, and before he could register what was going on, Quinn found himself covered in purple ink! The ink was an odd sensation, the most minimal hum of equal parts acid and being burned alive he had ever experienced. Instinctively, Quinn leaped backward, only to find that an odd, alien projectile was rolling towards him, and it splattered more ink onto him, which hurt significantly more.

 _Is that her game?_ Quinn wondered _stacking ink on so her attach do more damage_

Quinn’s new sunglasses were smudged with the ink, so he braced himself for another attack, but nothing came, only a stunned gasp from the crowd. Slowly, Quinn removed his sunglasses to learn that the sky had darkened almost completely. The only source of light was in the sky, only a few feet up from the stage, a burning, all too familiar symbol, the Smash Bros logo. He cast a glance at Torri, who appeared similarly dumbstruck. Beyond the faintest sound of a woman humming a wordless tune, from out of the fiery logo, he saw the silhouettes of Mario, Link, and a few others.

“Apologies Hart, Judd, but we must begin these two’s initiation immediately” came the stern voice of Link.

With that, a staircase of fire erupted from the logo, cascading down from the logo to the stage. Wordlessly, the two walked up the stairs. As the walked through the portal together it closed behind them, bringing the sky back to its normal crystal blue.

“Bro…” gawked Hart, from the back

“Grrr, I took an intern-dimensional flight for that?” growled Judd, “Coulda just stayed home and slept. Dagnab Smashers” cursed the seemingly immortal cat as he waddled away, muttering to himself.

**The Smash Mansion**

Quinn had heard Hart talk about this place in the seminars he’d seen his headmaster speak at, but he had never dreamed it could be so elegant. Torri, for her part, seemed in equal awe. As his gaze snapped to the middle of the foyer, he saw a fair-skinned brunette woman he recognized as Leaf, and a gun sword-wielding man Saki, both of whom Quinn recognized from the last tournament. Two people he didn’t recognize, a white robbed man and a skeleton in houseware were deep amid a discussion with Mario and Peach.

Mario caught a glimpse of the two over the skeleton man’s shoulder, “Sans, Altaïr, hold on just a minute, our new guests have arrived. Quinn-a Marmaduke, and Torri Gaichi, welcome to-a Smash Brothers. You’ll get a briefed relatively soon, but I’d like you to take a few days to get settled. The only thing that’s super important right-a now, at least to you, are these,” Mario paused, pulling out two red wristwatches, “These are your communicators. You’ll-a be privy to private messaging, group chats, and mansion wide announcements, as well as as-a the translator.”

Almost simultaneously, Quinn and Torri put on their wristwatches. Torri was in the middle of saying something when the language calibrated

“He can understand me after this?’ inquired Torri.

“Yep! I can understand you just fine!”

Torri’s eyes went wide in amazement, “WOAH! That’s fresh as all get-out. Being able to speak human’ll get me a ton of social media cred for sure!”

Mario chuckled, his mustache pulled in such a way that it was plain to see that he was grinning underneath it, “If that’s-a how you wish to utilize this technology, go for it! You’ll be rooming with Green. I’ll take you to your room, and we’ll make sure everyone’s a close made it in the transition

“WOOMIE, TORRI’S GOT A ROOMIE!” cheered the Inkling girl as she bounded off, leaving Green to amusedly follow behind.

“Saki, you’ll be rooming with one of the people yet to arrive, so I ‘ll lead you to your room in a moment’

Saki simply nodded, ambling off to take a seat in one of the big chairs that dotted the foyer

“Now, as for you three,” began Peach, “As Mario and I were discussing before Quinn came in, we had the Miis rooming together the last tournament, and due to a logistics error we’ve kept that arrangement for the three of you. So, Quinn Marmaduke, meet Altaïr Ibn-LaʼAhad and Sans the Skeleton, your new roommates.”

“As long as you aren’t degenerate like that lazy skeleton, perhaps we will get along,” Altaïr growled.

“With that in mind let me show you to your room.”

Quinn was busy taking everything in as they walked, just taking in the sheer regality of the mansion, as well as the artwork that seemed to line every wall, featuring pictures of all the participants’ home universe. They eventually got to their room, the size of a three-bed hotel room on Wuhu, each person having their own bedroom, having a communal space. Peach bid them a fairly quick goodbye, as Altaïr and Sans were in the middle of a relatively one-sided conversation about hamburger toppings, the latter visibly annoying the former. Quinn wordlessly shut the door, flopping onto bed, and falling asleep.

.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Odyssey here, just jumping into saying that that concludes the origins chapters that feature the traditional cast. As Mario eluded a few chapterd back, the roster will round out at 100 characters, so the next chapter will be my 20 wishlist characters! Now, assuming there’s a DLC character at some point down the line you want to see, worry not, they’ll be featured in the next arc. I know you’re probably all sick to death of Origins chapters, but I can assure you they’ll all be done and over with before you can even blink, and then we can actually move along to the tournament arc!)


	19. Origins: Porky Minch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final 20 recruits are being rounded up, and this time Banjo and Kazooie have to ram rod a certain capsule

**Origins: Porky Minch**

**Group Chat: Admin Team  
12:00 AM**

**Shulk: Is anyone else still up?**

**Mario: I was just about to turn in, why? Dark Samus causing issues again?  
Shulk: Actually no, Found out the less time I spent trying to corral it the more docile a roommate it was  
Sans: Order Grillby’s online **

**Sans: Wait this isn’t the UnderNet. Had it open in another tab.**

**Shulk: ?  
Mario: ?**

**Sans: That’s the internet in the underground, where I’m from.**

**Shulk: How do you have access to it here?  
Sans: Secret  
Shulk: FFS  
Mario: Anyway, Shulk, what did you want?**

**Shulk: Got a bunch of requests to open the training rooms, early morning. Just letting everyone know we’ve got an early shift tomorrow.**

**Sans: Hey Marth can you cover my shift?**

**Mario: For the third time Sans, this isn’t shiftwork.**

**ROB: Shall I inform Otis that Sans’ femur is now permitted to be used as a chew toy?**

**Sans: OK OK, I was just kidding geez.**

**Mario: Thanks for the heads up Shulk. Might be a little bit late, haven’t been sleeping well, need to get back on a decent schedule. Marth, you’re in charge until I get there  
Marth: Cool.**

**ROB: Cool cool cool**

**Sans: HAH! It worked**

**Marth: What worked?  
Shulk: The fewer questions you ask about Sans’ nonsense the better Marth  
Marth: Duly noted.**

**(You are reading the most recent message)**

True to what he had said, Mario didn’t awake until late morning. Like he had admitted to the Smashers in his impromptu speech two nights ago, being the head of the Smash Brothers was running him ragged. As a result, he was delegating some of his responsibility and practicing self-care. He had to admit, it had turned out to be an excellent decision. Sleeping in and leisurely breakfasts with Peach were just two of the many reasons why. All the same though, Mario had to get to work. With a spring in his step, Mario headed down to the Core Machine room, absentmindedly singing a song that had been written in his honor after Bowser’s first defeat

“Swing your arms from side to side, come on it’s time to go, do the Mario!”

Mario smirked, catching his idiocy. Was it narcissistic to sing a song about himself? The plumber would be the first to admit that it probably was, but Seven Stars be damned if it wasn’t a catchy tune.

Mario opened the doors to the Core Machine Room to see the rest of the administration team hunched over an enormous bank of monitors. The monitor bank was approximately 128 screens high, accounting for the 108 stages belonging to characters who had already arrived, and the 22 that were left to be generated by Guardian Alloy for those yet to arrive, as well as Sans and Altair’s stages. At the bottom of the monitor bank, at eye level, was a normal looking computer screen, which could flip to any one of the screens for the administration to observe.

Mario spoke up, as it appeared the team was too busy watching the screens to notice his arrival, “So, what’s going on guys?”

Marth whipped around to face Mario, a grin on his face. Otis and Mikey also whipped around in response to Mario, barking, and quacking respectively. Sans gave a dismissive handwave along with his signature “sup”.

“Quite a bit actually,” Marth began, “Edelgard and the Links are training together, they’re trying to help her get used to wielding multiple weapons.”

Mario frowned, “I appreciate their enthusiasm, but Edelgard is too fresh, and I think we’ve burnt out the Links recently. They’re out of contention.”

Marth blinked for a second, not expecting immediate negativity from his boss, “Okay. Greninja and Snake are training, they have been since we opened operations today. The same could be said for Joker and Cloud.”

“ROB, make a note that those four will be tapped for recruitment later.”

“Affirmative,” said ROB

“ As we speak, Roy, Ken, Captain Falcon, Diddy, and Donkey Kong are teaming up against Banjo, King K. Rool, Chrom, Olimar Corrin and Terry in that new five-on-five tag mode The King of Fighters inspired you to implement.”

Mario smiled wide, “Ah! What do you think of it?”

“I think it would be a hoot to do exhibitions for, perhaps on the final night of the tournament?”

“Great idea! ROB, add that to the notes.”

“Affirmative.”

“Bowser’s contingent, him, Junior and the potted plant fought Luigi, Daisy, and Wario in the three on three version earlier, which would’ve been equally as fun…”

“Would’ve been?” Mario asked

The Altean prince snickered uncharacteristically, “The way it was explained to me was that your brother and Daisy needed a third person, so they dragged Wario out of bed. He whined about it being too early in the morning and SDed his stock.”

Mario laughed, “That’s what Weegee gets for thinking Wario of all people would be a good tag team partner. How’s the plant?”

“An absolute lethal weapon.” remarked Sans, “He’s got poison powers, can spin his leaves like a helicopter for recovery, and he can shoot spikey balls. Not to mention, he has heckin’ big chompers.”

A loud smack was heard as Shulk had faceplanted onto the deck he was sitting at, “For the love of Bionis…” he moaned

Mario raised an eyebrow, “Heckin’ big…”

Sans chuckled, “UnderNet lingo man, you gotta get with it.”

“WOAH! DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?” squawked Mikey, “PATCH IT TO THE BANJO TAG!”

The main monitor displayed the final seconds of the aforementioned 5-on-5 tag battle, in which a golden aura had emitted from Kazooie’s wings, the pair had run forward, directly into a Falcon Punch, which seemed to have no effect as bear and bird bulldozed through the Captain, ending the match.

Mario’s eyes were wide, “Did-a he just…tank a Falcon Punch? _O mio_ , I think he might be the one.”

With that, the leader of the Smash Brothers pivoted on his heel, heading towards the exit of the Core Machine Room.

“Wait,” shouted Marth, “There are still several training sessions going on that require...”

“Send me the videos when you have the time, I’ve got to put together the team for our next fighter.”

As he left doors behind him, Mario spoke into his communicator, “Buzz for Ness and Lucas please, tell them they’re required in the conference room.”

**Conference Room**

Mario sat in the conference room, elbows on the table, hands clasped in nervous anticipation. He hadn’t been waiting long when the door to the room opened, Lucas followed first, a deep frown etched on his face, followed by Ness, who, while bearing no readable expression, seemed equally as somber as he shuffled slowly into the room.

“We know what this is” Lucas began, “You want us to try and recruit… _him_ don’t you?”

Mario sighed, “Look-a, I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. This is an arms race, and we need to tie up all the assets Conker hasn’t.”

“What about Rayquaza?” Ness said.

“A trainer in Hoenn caught him, he’s a non-threat. The Tabuu created villains are presumed dead, and we have Petey’s Piranha’s seedling. Porky Minch is the only free agent, and I need your help to get him.”

“You know he won’t fit in here right?”

“Oh, I know. That’s-a why I’m rooming him with Wario. Hopefully, they can get their bull-a crap out when they spend time amongst each other.”

Ness nodded, “Okay, that’s a good plan, but we’d have to fight Giygas to find him.”

“Trust me,” said Mario, “I plan on avoiding that situation entirely”

Lucas’ eyes went wide, “That would mean recruiting him in my time, but he’s in the Absolutely Safe Capsule. Nothing known to us will break him out.”

“Nothing known to you,” said Mario with a smirk, “I have just the plan to deal with that.”

**Hours later**

“Banjo Kazooie and Mewtwo to the Portal Room. I repeat, Banjo-Kazooie and Mewtwo to the Portal Room.”

“HA! I told you we were stars! We were in one training session all day and BAM, they want us for something!” squawked Kazooie,

“Yeah, but with Mewtwo?” asked Banjo, as he walked to the Portal Room with Kazooie in his backpack, “Seems like something out of our wheelhouse if we’re teaming up with him.”

“Whaddya mean, ya lazy ball of fluff? We’re Banjo-Kazooie darn it, nothing is…”

Mid rant, Banjo stepped through the sliding door to the Portal Room What appeared to be a purple cryogenic coffin on spider legs stood in the room, as soon as they entered. Mewtwo was slumped lazily against a wall, his arms crossed, while Mario, Ness, and Lucas conversed amongst themselves in the corner.

“Out….of…our..wheelhouse.” stuttered Kazooie as she eyed the mechanical monstrosity in front of her.

“What’n the name of Jiggywiggy have you got us signed up for Mario?”

The three near the portals’ gazes all snapped towards the duo, “Simply put, we need you to Wonder Wing a capsule until it pops open.”

“I can do that, but what’re the kids and the test tube baby over there for?” Kazooie asked, pointing her head towards Mewtwo.

“Kazooie! No need to be rude!” Banjo scolded

“We need his psychic powers to put what comes out of the capsule,” Mario began, gesturing to the robot, “Into there.”

“And as far as what pops out, he’s what you might call Ness and I’s villain.” Lucas explained.

“I see,” said Banjo.

“ROB set the portal to the agreed-upon coordinates, now, Mewtwo, we need you to move this through-a the portal.”

“Affirmative” came the voice of ROB through a loudspeaker in the room as the portal opened before them.

**Dr.Andonuts’ Lab**

It was a pleasant, warm day as was the usual in Tazmily village, where Doctor Andonuts had set up his lab. With the capitalistic structure of the Porky Empire in a freefall since the deposition of its leader from whom the empire got its name, Andonuts moved to the remote Tazmily to continue scientific work, mostly to restore the natural world that the Empire had ravaged away. On this day like any other, Dr.Andonuts sat at his desk, noting the growth rate of a plant that had been exposed to a special formula, which, if it worked correctly, would be used in reforestation efforts

Suddenly, one of the doctor’s instruments began to beep. Andonuts used the office chair with wheels upon which he sat to investigate the instrument. The old doctor’s heart skipped a beat. It was the temporal disturbance detector, Someone was traveling through time and space to the present. Fearing it could be another Porky threat, Andonuts scooted back to his desk, turning on his desktop computer, and hastily typing in a command. On the screen flared to life a radar readout of the surrounding area. Overlaid with over the center point of the radar was a blue dot, pinging with increasing ferocity, as well as the initial instrument blaring with a similarly worrying ferocity. Before Andonuts could register the implications of this, that whatever was traveling through time was right on top of him, a portal opened on the opposite wall. When the blinding light dissipated, Andonuts was momentarily knocked daft by what he saw.

“Lucas? Ness? Oh my goodness boy, it’s been millennia since I’ve seen y-“ he paused when he saw the others in the room. He didn’t know the bear, the bird, or the alien, but he knew the mech robot,

“Doctor Andonuts, I wish I could stay for a chat, but we need…”, Ness intentionally trailed off, pointing towards The Absolutely Safe Capsule, which was standing in the corner of the room.

“I would question your judgment, but perhaps I’m better off not knowing,” grumbled Andonuts

“I’m Banjo, and these are my pals Kazooie and Mewtwo. With all due respect, we need a place where we can get a runnin' start on that thing.”

The old doctor sighed, “Alright, we can move this out into the parking lot.”

Soon, the group was standing in the parking lot, The Absolutely Safe Capsule over by itself, while the rest of the group was a few feet away watching, “Now, before you two get started,” said Doctor Andonuts to Banjo and Kazooie, “You should know that this was designed specifically to be unbreakable.”

Kazooie blew a raspberry, “There isn’t anything my Wonderwing can’t break! Banjo, you ready?”

“You betcha pal.”

Mario cleared his throat, “How many of these golden feathers do you have?” he asked.

“I can only carry ten at a time, but Banjo and I have been training ever since the car thing, so the effect…erm…lasts longer.”

Banjo uncharacteristically snickered.

“AND YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CONSTANTLY NAGS ME FOR BEING IMMATURE? PUH-LEEZE.”

“Not the time or the place,” growled Mario, snapping back to normal, “Okay, so we have ten attempts to make this work. Whenever you’re ready-a guys.”

Kazooie put her wings down out in front of her, while Banjo ran forward, a golden hue erupted from her wings as the duo collided with the Capsule.

Kazooie let out a squawk of pain before exclaiming, “Jinjo on a cracker that hurt!”

Mario raised an eyebrow, “Does it not normally?”

“Nah, but if you’re relying on us to get the job done, I’m gonna have to put up with it.”

Mario nodded, “Okay, whenever you’re ready.”

Another Wonderwing. Than another. On the fourth, Andonuts noticed a crack in the capsule.

“My word…” gasped Andonuts.

“Alright, Mewtwo, be ready,” ordered Mario.

Mewtwo nodded.

Meanwhile, Kazooie was having a rare moment of self-doubt, “Banjo…my wings are freakin’ mush, I don’t know that I could do it again.”

“Just pretend the Capsule is Bottles.”

An impish smile tugged at Kazooie’s beak, “Now you’re speaking my language Banjo,” she mused with an evil chuckle.

“Go!” Mario commanded, “One more time!”

“PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER GEEKY!” Kazooie shouted as Banjo took off towards the capsule again, “HI-YAH!”

Colliding with the Absolutely Safe Capsule again with so much force that the duo barreled over it, rolling onto the ground a few inches away. But, the deed was done, as the front of the capsule broke away from the rest of it.

“Mewtwo now!” said Mario

Using his psychic power, Mewtwo picked up the chubby gray-haired boy as he gasped for air, plopping him into the robot, and closing the latch, As he did, the boy stopped squirming, and the internals flared to life,

“Eheehee, now we’re back in business! Ness, Lucas, I’ve waited years to say this, eat crap!” crowed Porky

From one of the pockets of his overalls, Mario pulled what would appear to be a detonator out of it, flipping open the top, “Before you do go acting foolish, let me explain your circumstances, I’m Mario. We never met, but I was on the other side of the Subspace War. Tabuu’s back at it again, and The Super Smash Brothers would like you to implore you to work for us.”

“Tabuu offered me a pretty sweet deal old man. Thanks, but no thanks” sneered Minch.

Mario smirked, “Ah, I figured as much. That’s-a what this baby is for.” Mario stated, running his hand over the base of the detonator, “The mech you’re in, while a carbon copy of your old one, has a new feature. It’s effectively a working Subspace Bomb. If you act against my orders at any-a point, nothing in this-a universe or any other could bring you back. If you follow the rules, you’ll have access to all the rights and privileges the other Smashers do. Am I clear?”

Porky grumbled, “I suppose. But what if I don’t want to be in your stupid little tournament?”

Mario shrugged, “That’s your right I suppose, but then again, there’s no chance you’ll get to go one on one with Ness and Lucas if they advanced.”

Porky smiled wide, his eyes now big as saucers, “I gotta beat Ness an’ Lucas, I gotta!” the boy growled, almost as if he had gone feral.

“Then fight your best and respect your elders. Come, we have much to discuss.” Mario explained as he typed in the code in his communicator to make a portal to the mansion appear. Ness, Lucas, Mewtwo, Mario, and Porky stepped through it, with Kazooie carrying Banjo as the ran to jump through.  
"Fine, I guess. Let's just get off this stupid island," grumbled the whiny ex-dictator.

When they appeared in the grand foyer Wario was waiting for them, “When the psychic shrimps-a left through a portal, I knew it had to be you! Porky you beautiful son of a gun! How ya been?”

“Me, I’ve been absolutely safe!” howled Porky with laughter, “What about you generalismo!”

“Oh you know me! Money, beautiful women, and more money! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”  
  
“AHAHAHAHA” howled Porky once again,

“WAHAHAHAHA”

“AHAHAHAHAHA!”  
  
“WAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA! C’mon kid I’ll show ya to our room!” chortled Wario.

“Our room! You mean we’re gonna be roommates? This is gonna be an absolute delight. See you, nerds, later.”

“Arceus help us all.” groaned Mewtwo as soon as the two villains were out of earshot

Suddenly, Lucas’ eyes widened, “Wait a minute, didn’t you say Porky’s mech was essentially a Subspace Bomb?”

“Yeah, I did,” Mario said matter-of-factly.

“What if we have to…you know?” Lucas asked with a gulp.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about dat-a too much. ROB’s been studying how to close Subspace portals manually, and we built the mech once we had a breakthrough.”

“O-okay.”

“Relax Lucas, it’s Mario, don’tcha think he has a plan?” interjected Ness.

“Well yeah, but what if Porky has a plan?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when-a we come to it Lucas, don’t worry” Mario explained, before raising his wrist communicator to talk into it, “ROB, have Doctor Mario prep an examination for Kazooie, we might have a wing injury on our hands.”

“Affirmative” came the voice of ROB.

“You don’t know the half of it.” moaned Kazooie, “C’mon big guy,” she said, patting Banjo on the head as they left for the medical bay

There was a moment of silence with the remaining four Smashers before Mario broke it, “You all did good. You’re dismissed.”

“Great! Hey, Lucas, I think it’s taco night in the cafeteria!” Ness cheered

“A-awesome,” Lucas stuttered as the two boys left

Mewtwo teleported away, leaving Mario with his thoughts. What if Porky did have a plan?

_No, Mario, you can’t be questioning your judgment or you might-a not be able to think quickly in the heat of the moment_

Mario breathed a sigh of relief, before heading off to get changed for dinner.

  


****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN: I hope you enjoy my 20 picks so the roster rounds out at a nice cool 100. Next is Goro Akechi, thanks for reading!)


	20. Origins: Goro Akechi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a relaxing day at the Smash Mansion, The Phantom Thieves find out Goro Akechi is alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I went with more of a blend of Akechi's personalities/skillsets (3rd semester Royal, Vanilla, anime), I hope this comes across.

**Origins: Goro Akechi**

**Smash Mansion, Morning**

Ren and Ann were always the early risers of The Phantom Thieves. Yusuke would often stay up late into the night sketching something, whereas Ryuji and Futaba were most likely to play video games until the wee hours of the morning. Morgana, being part cat, was perfectly content being an idle layabout if the circumstances warranted. Even Makoto and Haru, who most of the time were wide awake with The Lover and The Trickster, could fall into the pattern of typical teenage laziness when there wasn’t studying or botany to be done respectively. But this was all the better for the couple because it gave them the opportunity for an excursion to explore the Mansion. First stopping to have a quick breakfast with Ike and Pichu, during which they quietly made small talk, discussing the newcomer Porky Minch, and how obnoxious he and Wario would be as a combined force. Quickly bidding the strong silent mercenary and his sleepy rat companion adieu, Ren and Ann headed down to Smash Park, a small, enclosed walking trail that was the rest area in the Melee tournament’s All-Star gauntlet training simulation but now used for the Smashers who wished for quiet time away. Ann and Ren took their seats on a bench a few yards away from the fountain that was one of the hallmarks of the park. Ren watched with fascination as Miss Trainer, as she was known, and Lucario did yoga together, waxing muted philosophical about ‘chi’ and ‘aura’. 

That’s when Joker notice Ann nuzzle herself into his arm. Ann had been especially affectionate this morning, but there had been a lot of starting and stopping going on, where she would begin to snuggle in close but pull away. Perhaps roaming the halls of the mansion wasn’t the best setting, or maybe she felt uncomfortable with too much PDA in front of their breakfast companions…

Joker kissed Ann delicately on the forehead, who sighed dreamily closing her eyes. Joker couldn’t help but mirror her sigh. It was a beautiful spring morning, and they likely had an hour, if not several, before any of their colleagues came looking for them.

“DUUUUDE! DUUUDE!” Ren heard a familiar voice cry from far away.

Running down the sidewalk, that lead to Smash Park, in his pajamas no less, was Ryuji. It was when Ryuji came into view that he was barefoot, and clad in the shorts and tank top he had slept in.

“Dude, for real?” Ann said, rolling her eyes, “You couldn’t even bother to put on shoes. Now you’re going to track mud all over the...”

“Ann, Ren, you don’t understand. I just got a ping from Mario. Akechi’s alive!”

The news caught Ren so harshly off guard he inhaled too quickly, choking on the saliva that had once rested in his mouth, while Ann squealed, “WHAT? HOW?” catching the attention of the Wii Fit Trainer and Lucario.

Miss Trainer’s tree stance softened to a more human posture as she turned to look at them. Lucario, conversely, kept his stance, his head snapping to glance at them, “ Grrr, what’s all the racket?” growled the irritable Steel Type.

“W-we just found out a friend of ours is alive when we thought he was dead before, and we have to go recruit him into Smash Bros in an hour. Sorry for interrupting you guys,” explained Ryuji

Miss Trainer shrugged, “Think nothing of it. And remember, in a labor-intensive activity it’s always important to practice deep, mindful breathing.”

“Got it, Miss Trainer.” Ren said with a nod, turning to his colleagues, “Well guys. I think there’s somewhere we have to be.”

**1 hour later**

“I’m sorry Makoto, but…run that theory by me again?” asked a sleepy Yusuke as The Phantom Thieves of Heart, in full gear, took the final stretch of their journey to the Portal Room.

“It’s something I’ve kept in the back of my mind ever since Shido’s palace,” began Makoto, “There was the cognitive Akechi, the Shido-created one, and our Akechi. There were two gunshots, but we couldn’t confirm either of them were self-inflicted by our Goro.”

“Do you think Akechi could’ve turned off his signal willingly somehow?” asked Futaba.

“That’s exactly what I thought Futaba!” Makoto shouted, snapping her fingers for emphasis, “ We always knew Akechi was powerful, I don’t think anything like that is out of the realm of possibility.”

Yusuke chuckled, “Hmmm, of course, it stands to reason that if we could find ourselves in the realm of Phantom Thievery once again, Akechi could also rise like a phoenix.”

Ann smiled at the blue-haired artist, “Ya know, when you put it that way, this whole thing seems less…crazy.”

“What is crazy at this point though right? Ren shot God in the face on Christmas Eve for cryin’ out loud,” exclaimed Ryuji.

Joker couldn’t help but grin like a Cheshire cat at that, to which Ann rolled her eyes, “You never get tired of hearing that do you baby?” she said as they rounded the final corner.

“No, because it sounds completely absurd, even having done it.”

“Man, if we licensed out the Phantom Thieves story out as an anime, it wouldn’t look nearly as wacky as what actually happened” remarked Futaba.

“Oh, do you think La Blanc would become a themed anime cafe then, if only for a while?” Haru asked 

Futaba snorted very loudly with laughter, while Ren smiled even more broadly

“Oh, man! Getting Dad to do anything anime related is…”

“Guys! We’re about to enter the Portal Room!” snapped Morgana, “Professional faces on!”

The group quieted as they went through the doors of the Portal Room, where ROB was standing to greet them, “Recruit name, Goro Akechi. Recruit location, Big River, Montana. Smashers handling the recruitment are The Phantom Thieves of Heart.”

“Excuse me…uh…ROB, do you know why Akechi ended up there?” Morgana piped in

“I have been informed that Akechi’s current place of employment, Mary’s Inn, was named one of the best producers of pancakes in your United States of America.”

“THAT SON OF A-!” Ryuji shouted, but Makoto held up a hand, all while stifling her laughter. 

“Of course, he would give police a big visible hunch like that, and then dissolve his paper trail so no one could ever find him,” Makoto said.

“Even if he did con the public on the mental shutdown, he never missed a trick,” Ren added.

“ROB, does he know about our powers?” Haru asked.

“Negative,” droned the robot, “This would be logically impossible as well, as he has only been there for a few months, so it is doubtful he could’ve discovered the Metaverse reincarnation.”

“Alright guys,” Ren began, “ We need to be extremely careful about how we approach this. Things could really go bad if he discovers he can use his powers outside of Momentos. That said, I believe in all of you to do your best. ROB, fire up the portal!”

“Affirmative. Something you also should know, if Akechi joins us, we can help him get the criminal charges against him.”

“Woah, for real?” shouted Ryuji, “Which one of you is a lawyer?”

“Isabelle!” Haru answered.

“What? The dog’s a lawyer? You’ve gotta be kidding me!” 

“She has several other degrees of study as well. It’s really quite fascinating,” said Haru

“It sounds like she and Makoto would get along quite well,” Yusuke responded as Makoto rolled her eyes

“Guys focus! Going through the portal all together now, in three, two one!” commanded Joker

With this, all the Thieves jumped through the portal.

**Big River, Montana,**

**Sunday morning**

  
  
_Some people say a man is made outta mud  
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood  
Muscle and blood and skin and bones  
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong_

Goro Akechi bit his lip as he bussed tables at the old restaurant he called his job. Mary’s Inn was modeled on the inside to look like a log cabin, which gave the illusion of a warm, family environment. Of course, that was unless you were a lowly busboy who hated American country songs from the 1950s, as Akechi had come to. He hadn’t minded any type of music in particular before this part of his life., but hearing songs like this one on a fairly limited playlist was grating at him. Every day since he’d began working at Mary’s he cursed the day he’d decided to use the money he’d siphoned from Shido to move here of all places.

_You load sixteen tons, what do you get_ _  
Another day older and deeper in debt  
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go  
I owe my soul to the company store_

_No,_ thought Akechi, _I will not sell my soul to this rotten place._

“Hey, whatcha thinkin’ about Goro?” asked a Montana-accented voice _._

Akechi looked up from the table he was wiping down with a smile. It was Magdalene, or Maggie, as she preferred to be called. The blond, buxom, 18-year-old granddaughter of the owner and chef, Benjamin, looked like something out of a wartime American propaganda film.

“You doing okay hun?” she asked

“Oh. Just thinking is all,” said Goro

“Well don’t be thinking too much! Sunday service just ended at the church, and we’ve got a stampede of hungry customers coming our way!” warned Maggie.

“Hungry…and racist.”

“I know it’s rough hun, and I know these people have a bug up their butt about you bein’ here from a foreign country, but they’re good people who respect hard work, and they’ll come to see you as that eventually.”

“Yeah…thanks,” said Akechi

As if on cue, the doors opened, as the town’s denizens flocked in for an after-church breakfast. At the front of the door was a musclebound, completely bald man wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, and boots, “Hey! JAP!” screamed the man, pointing at Goro.

“Oh no…” groaned Akechi

“ Bradley, it’s too early to start this crap.” shouted Maggie, “Now sit down an’ behave!”

“I’ll behave if the Jap boy shines mah, boots,” growled Bradley, taking a seat at the table.

“Bradley, stop!”

“HEY!” shouted a booming voice from the back. Akechi winced, realizing that Benjamin, the positively enormous, ancient man, had abandoned his post at the stove and was starting over there his grease stained apron clinging to his hairy frame, his bald head turning an unhealthy shade of red, “You startin’ shit kid?” he snarled at Goro

“No, Grandpappy he…” began Maggie

“Why do you stick up for that boy woman?” demanded Bradley, “You stuck with me after high school, you coulda inherited my daddy’s land but ya had to go an’ be a crazy…”

“Don’t speak to her that way.” warned Akechi, “The reason why she left you is that you treated her poorly. I can deduce that simply on how you speak to people.”

“What was that Jap?” snarled Bradley, standing up and grabbing Goro by the uniform.

“Bradley, stop!” pleaded Maggie,

“No honey, if we don’t let Brad do what he wants his daddy will just sue us. I can’t let him take your Grammy Mary’s pride ‘an joy away. If yer gonna beat him up Brad jus’ take him out back.” explained Benjamin, shuffling back to the kitchen.

As if on cue, the Phantom Thieves entered the restaurant, “Put him down, now! We have business with him.” Ren commanded

“Amamiya-san… Wait, your clothes.’

Akechi concentrated hard, as he did when they summoned their Persona and saw a spark of blue flame.

“Yes…” hissed Akechi

“What’s gotten into you Ja-?“

“Goro don’t…” Makoto began.

But it was too late.

“LOKI!” screamed Akechi

In a brilliant burst of light, Loki appeared, Akechi’s demonic Persona, his body patterned with psychedelic black shapes which moved and pulsated as it stood awaiting its owner’s instructions, What’s more, Akechi was in his black Metaverse attire, a wicked smile on his face.

_If you see me comin', better step aside_ _  
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died  
One fist of iron, the other of steel  
If the right one don't a-get you  
Then the left one will_

Bradley through a slow, lumbering haymaker at Akechi, which he blocked easily. Akechi punched Bradley square in the stomach.

“Goro no!” screamed Maggie.

With a violent, retching cough, the air left Bradley’s body. Akechi shoved him so he was splayed out on the nearest table, not even registering Maggie’s cries, and began to pummel his face with lefts and rights. On the third punch, Akechi felt the blood splatter onto his face. With maniacal laughter, he fired more punches, faster, stronger

“GORO WHAT THE HELL! WHAT’RE YOU DOING?” cried Maggie,

“Jesus Christ…” Makoto gasped, a hand clasped to her mouth

Akechi looked down at the damage. His face looked almost liquified, with several very important bone structures beaten down into a pulp. Most horrifying was his nose, which didn’t appear to exist structurally, only a spout for the now fast forming pool of blood

“AKECHI-SAN! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!” screamed Ren.

Akechi nodded, not even turning back to look at the horrified customers as he and the Phantom Thieves fled out to the parking lot. Ren wordlessly punched in a combination onto his wrist communicator, which opened a portal to the Smash Mansion, closing the door to Big River, Montana behind them.

“Magdaline…” whispered Akechi, “I ruined everything for that woman…”

“It’s okay…I mean it’s not but…we can help.” Ryuji said in between gasps of breath.

“We?” Akechi asked, his eyebrow-raising, “And where are we anyway?”

“The Smash Mansion,” explained Morgana.

“Smash? What, like Smash Brothers?”

“Yep!” Ann said, “You’re one of us now!”

“I…I don’t belong anywhere. You just saw that.”

“Nonsense Akechi. We know you’re a good man, and if you join us, we’ll help you absolve your crimes.” Haru said

“If it’ll help me turn a new leaf on life, I’ll accept it,” Akechi said, holding out a hand

“Welcome my friend,” said Ren, shaking Akechi’s outstretched hand, “Makoto, I saw the rooms list that just came up, and I think he’s got the room with Villager, next to Megaman and ROB.”

“Okay cool,” nodded Makoto, “ Goro, let’s go”

Goro nodded, as the two-headed up the stairs to the dormitories, there was a moment’s silence before Akechi spoke up, “Makoto.”

“Yes?”

“I missed you.”

Makoto gasped, blushing, “I-I missed you too. S-so, you were in America? You know English?”

Akechi smirked, “Yes. I know several languages.”

“Oh! I’ve always wanted to learn French.”

“That’s one of them! We’ll study the subject over dinner someday.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” she said, stopping in front of a door, “This is your room. Your clothes have been moved here already.”

“Oh great!” Akechi said with a cheerful nod, “See you later Makoto!” he said, opening the door, stepping in, and closing the door behind her.

Makoto waited to round the corner before announcing to herself “Ugh, what’s wrong with me?” as she went to rejoin the Phantom Thieves.

  
__  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is “16 Tons” by Tennessee Ernie Ford. Next one up is Cuphead!


	21. Origins: Cuphead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans heads to the Inkwell Isle to recruit Cuphead. Shenanigans are inevitable.

**Origins: Cuphead**

The same afternoon Goro was recruited, Mario and Shulk were in the midst of a heated meeting in the conference room.

“Mr. Game and Watch?”

“I mean, he’d definitely something the new recruit is used to, but it might be…too far in that direction, you know. Besides, he’s got a bit of unpredictable personality, not the style we need for recruitment.”

“Ice Climbers?” Shulk asked.

“No. Nana’s too harsh, and Popo’s too docile. Good for a relationship…not-a so good for a-recruitment.”

“But…him? You’d really want him representing the Smash Brothers brand?”

“Look, of the admin team, Marth and I have done our fair shares of recruitments, you and the Duo are pegged for later recruitments, ROB’s the only one capable of running this place while somebody’s doing a recruitment, so we need him here. So that leaves him.”

Shulk sighed, “Alright, you’re the boss. You owe me 20 Smash Coins if he messes up.”

Mario grinned devilishly, “You’re on!”

He pressed a button on his wrist communicator, “Buzz up Sans please.”

Immediately, the door to the conference room opened. Sans walked through the door, precariously. balancing at least 30 hot dogs on his head, the first 20 or so impossibly bent to where the slightest provocation would send them spiraling to the floor. As he and his incredibly balanced meat casings completed their trek through the door, the remaining 20 hotdogs snapped into position, as if Sans had tried to pass through the door in a large top hat, and the hat had bent to fit under the door.

“Wow.” Shulk breathed; his mouth hung open in shock,

“That, dear Shulk, is-a why I’m the boss. Sans, take a seat, and pass us a dog while we’re at it.”

“Sure man,” Sans said,

Sans plucked the first two hot dogs off the bottom, the remaining hot dogs falling perfectly into their place on the stack, balancing perfectly atop Sans’ head. He tossed them to the two other Smashers who caught them. Mario took a bite, his eyes widening.

“Woah, these are _delizioso_! Where have you been-a making these?”

“My room. I bought a grill. Then Altair said it was against his religion to eat pork, figured the dude would cut me if I didn’t stop, so I just came up here with them.”

Shulk opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again.

Mario cleared his throat and slid Sans a dossier across the table. The skeleton’s eyes narrowed, perplexed as he viewed the picture inside, “Who’s the cuppa milk? He looks like something from an old Human cartoon.”

“That’s-a Cuphead, from the Inkwell Isle. His moveset is pretty similar to the one you’re inheriting, but apparently, it’s-a bit more nuanced. Cuphead and his friend Mugman freed the Inkwell Islands from The Devil.”

Shulk raised an eyebrow, “Like the Assist Trophy that moves the stage around? That Devil?”

Mario shook his head, “No. Multiple universes, therefore there are different incarnations of the Lord of Darkness.”

Shulk smirked, “Ah, right. So we can assume this Cuphead defeated The Devil. Do we know if this Devil is still a threat?”

Again, Mario shook his head, “This is one of the many universes we’re going into the next couple of days completely blind. Sans, your power set is best equipped to handle…well, anything. Recruit Cuphead and bring him back.”

“You got it, boss,” said Sans.

“I’m assuming you’ve got a shortcut to the Portal Room?” Mario asked,

“You know I do!” Sans said with a wink, before standing up and shuffling out of the room, dossier in hand once again managing to get his tower of hot dogs out the door.

Mario chuckled before patting Shulk on the shoulder, “I know he annoys you, but I’m putting you as his point of contact of our end. You’ve got a critical eye for his goofiness, so make sure he doesn’t mess up, or it’s 20 Smash Coins out of your pocket. I’ve gotta set up the next recruitment.”

Shulk nodded, “You’ve got it, Mario!”

Mario nodded, exiting the conference room, as Shulk exited just behind him, sprinting in the opposite direction to The Portal Room.

**The Portal Room**

In the dark quiet of the Portal Room, a certain skeleton was muttering to himself, pacing back and forth

“I’d like to recruit you for the Smash Bros Initiative… no that’s not it. The few…the proud… the Smashers…. no, that goes against the rules of an elevator pitch. Nobody out-pizzas The Super Smash Bros…no, again, elevator pitch. Can a sentient cup of milk even be bribed with pizza? Milk is just coagulated cheese, so would that be like serving a Human dried blood? Nah, not the time for this. Focus Sans, focus! Oh, I’ll know. I’ll hit him with a “sup.” That always seems to work. But he’s from like an ancient cartoon. Would he even understand, ‘sup’ if I said it? Knowing my luck that’s probably slang for some kind of drug.”

“Are you quite done yet?” asked an irritated voice over the loudspeaker.

Sans jumped, “How long have you been listening?”

Shulk chuckled, “A while. I was waiting for the prime opportunity to make you jump. Now, we’re opening the portal to Inkwell. Cuphead and Mugman live with The Elder Kettle, so I’m beaming you right outside his house.”

“Got it.”

“No funny business Sans.”

“Hey, sarcasm isn’t funny pal.”

“I mean it.”

“Fine.”

The ringlet that housed the portal flared to life, the unknown energy showcasing a window to the other side, a simple hut with a smokestack piping smoke.

“The portal’s all set up Sans, you can through now.”

“Dope,” said Sans, stepping through the portal.

What hit him first about this new world, besides the colors, was the smell. Sugar? Churros? Sans couldn’t peg it, but the smell immediately sent a feeling of warmth over him, a feeling of happiness. Sans knocked on the door lightly. An old man with a tea kettle for a head answered the door, “Why hello there sir, how may I help you?”

“My name’s Sans, Sans the Skeleton, I represent something called Super Smash Brothers, and I’d like to talk to Cuphead about it.”

The Elder Kettle frowned, grunting disapprovingly, “Well alright, I s’pose it’d be rude to not let you make your pitch,” he said, turning towards the innards of the house shouting, “CUPHEAD! YOU HAVE A VISITOR!”

In no time, they were seated around The Elder Kettle’s family room table, Cuphead eying Sans up and down, “Are you sure he isn’t one of The Devil’s minions Elder Kettle?”

“I’m as sure as the day is long son.” said the Kettle, “The Devil’s men give off an aura, and this fella doesn’t have it.”

“Actually” interjected Sans, “The organization I’m a part of, the Super Smash Brothers is actually a unity of people put together to take out guys like The Devil, especially when they team up, which is what we think is about to happen. Meantime though, we’re having a little tournament to see who’s the best of us, and we want you to participate in both.”

Cuphead’s eyes immediately went wide, “Oh golly! That’d be great! Can I go Elder Kettle? Please? Sparring with Mugman has been so boring to me lately, and I’d like to test my mettle against Sans and his friends.”

“Don’t you mean…test your kettle?” Sans asked with a wink.

Cuphead laughed uproariously, “You tell a good joke Mister Sans. If your friends are half as on the beam as you are, I can’t not accept!” Cuphead said.

“He has my permission as well,” interjected Elder Kettle, “The boy’s quite a hero, and will do you good.”

“Sweet. Training facilities will be open in a couple days, but for now, we’ll just be getting you set up with a room and…”

Bounding from the upstairs came Mugman, Cuphead’s blue counterpart, looking quite flustered, “Guys, do you hear that music?”

Now that conversation had stopped, Sans did hear music, was that jazz?

“Oh no, it’s King Dice!” Cuphead shrieked.

“King who?” asked Sans.

“The Devil’s right-hand man,” quivered Mugman, “What could he want?”

“Chill out guys, I’ll take care of it,” Sans said, opening the door behind to the front yard.

The source of the jazz music appeared to come from a man with a playing die for a head. His face was a smiling one but had creepy, leering eyes. He was dressed in a garish purple suit, impatiently twirling a cane.

“Ya know pal, it ain’t nice to intrude in private business. I have a proposal for the residents of this humble abode, and it don’t involve you, so scram.”

“If you have business with them bud, you have business with me.”

King Dice gave an unnerving, drawn-out chuckle at the skeleton’s response, “You new around these parts pal?”

“No, but I know enough. I know you’re The Devil’s favorite lacky.”

“I ain’t a lacky son, I’m his right hand. An’ when ol’ hellfire and brimstone skedaddled outta here to serve some schmuck named Conker, he left me in charge. What that drip don’t know though, is that I’ve been siphoning power offa him since those cup crumbs beat him a bit ago. Been lookin’ to change the management up here in the near future. So, even though I wasn’t someone you wanted to mess with beforehand, you certainly don’t now.”

`Alright pal, you wanna test your mettle? Fine, prepare to roll snake eyes!”

Sans right eye flashed blue as a building-sized version of his signature weapon, the Gaster Blaster, appeared out of thin air, firing at King Dice. Seemingly without moving a muscle, King Dice slid to the side of the blast. Sans snapped his fingers, and the massive Gaster Blaster split into six regular-sized ones, surrounding King Dice, all spinning in a circle and firing. In a similar vein as before, seemingly aided by magic King Dice managed to avoid all the blasts

“Swell,” King Dice cackled as the blasts came to a stop, “We’ve got a humdinger on our hands eh? Well, two can play at the monster game buddy!”

Behind Sans, a giant glove hand appeared, and appeared to… walk in place. Materializing seemingly from the inertia of the walking hand, a deck of sentient playing cards appeared, surrounding the skeleton. Suddenly, Cuphead kicked open the door to the house, “I’ll deal with the deck of duds, you deal with the King.”

Sans nodded, flying forward, two floating Gaster Blasters firing rapidly, “GET DUNKED ON SUCKAAAA!” screamed Sans.

As the Blasters were firing more rapidly than before, with King Dice dodging each blast, Sans glanced behind him to see Cuphead shooting bullets of some description out of his fingers, all the while doing a flipping jump and bouncing off the cards in his way.

_Heh, talented kid_ thought Sans.

Suddenly Sans caught the faint whiff of cheap cigar smoke, realizing that King Dice was within an arms reach of him. Using every ounce of his power, Sans took control of the gravity surrounding King Dice, slamming him into a pile of jagged bones he had materialized from the ground. King Dice pried himself off the bones, a murderous look in his eyes, “Alright, ya rotten schmuck. You wanna play a game, King Dice can play a game!”

King Dice snapped his fingers and the playing cards that Cuphead had been fighting floating into the air, swirling into a singular mass, and swirling all together until they became a birdcage, which came to contain Cuphead as it slammed into the earth. Then, a second, much larger birdcage appeared, slamming into the earth, capturing the Elder Kettle house.

King Dice laughed, “Now see, one of the things I can do with the boss’ power is I can manipulate matter. I can also move things places instantly, so I can crush these cages and put ‘em in a volcano so nobody has any remains to mourn. That is unless you accept my proposal. That is, I wanna set up a casino in Smash City when the tournament I’ve been hearing about starts. With all these marks comin’ from other dimensions, it’ll basically be pennies from heaven. We got a deal?”

“Yeah. I might even come and play a few rounds myself.”

King Dice cackled, “Ey! You weren’t as big a dope as I thought you were skeleton! I’ll be awaiting my invitation in the mail!”

With an evil laugh, King Dice’s entire body swirled into a portal which gave a cartoonish ‘pop’ as it disappeared

The cages disappeared, Cuphead ran over laughing uncontrollably, “Wow! That was the bee’s knees sir!”

“You weren’t too bad yourself kiddo, the way you were bouncing off the card guys was super interesting.”

“You mean my parry ability?” Cuphead asked with a dismissive wave, “Pffft, that Bobbysox Brigade wasn’t nothin’! Now let’s go meet your friends.”

“You got it bud,” Sans said as he keyed in the portal code to his wristwatch

“I’ll reserve seats for you guys if I can!” shouted Cuphead as the duo stepped through the portal the Smash Mansion foyer. In which Mario and Shulk were in the middle of an argument

“He invited The Devil’s right-hand man to set up shop in Smash City! Tell me that isn’t dumb!” Shulk was shouting

“He has every right to be here. Besides, if we show discriminatory business practices that might prompt Conker’s gang to launch an attack on the city, which is the absolute-a last thing that we want. We gotta cater to them before and during the tournament.”

Shulk waved his hand dismissively, “Ugh, fine.” he shouted, throwing two gold coins in Mario’s direction, “You win.”

As Shulk started to walk away, Mario laughed, “Sans-a, you did really good out there. You saved three people. You’re a true hero.”

Sans shrugged, “Better than the milk/cobblestone sandwich some volcano would’ve been dealing with otherwise.”

Mario shrugged back, “However you see it brother. Anyway, Cuphead, welcome to our fraternity, the Super Smash Brothers. Opening Day’s in a few days. You’re sharing a room with Ness and Lucas, I’ll show you to the room. Sans your hotdogs are in the kitchen fridge, take as many as you want.”

“Wait what?” Sans asked, confused, “They’re my hot dogs, why do I need your permission?”

Mario shrugged, “Sorry, it’s the boss in me. Have a good evening Sans.” Mario said as he walked off with Cuphead

Sans let out a deep sigh, “For the love of Gaster, I’m gonna need a bottle of relish, it’s been one of those days,” moaned the skeleton, trudging off towards the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter features everybody's favorite ninja, Yoshimitsu!


	22. Origins: Yoshimitsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven's net is wide, but Greninja slipped through

**Origins: Yoshimitsu**

**Conference Room A, Smash Mansion**

“Sacré Dieu!” shouted Greninja as he eyed the dossier Mario had slid in front of him.

When the water Pokemon had been called away from an after-dinner training session with Snake, they had both assumed it was for a recruitment mission. He could not have possibly expected it would’ve been a half mechanical Samurai wearing a kabuki mask.

“What?” Mario asked, raising an eyebrow, “He scare you?” playfully chided the plumber.

“No! That is not the case at all Mario! As you know, I am a ninja. Yet you would ask me to recruit _en samouraï_?”

“From what Ryu tells me he is more of a ninja, like you.”

“Ryu? Is there a man across the dimensions that he has not fought?”

“Honestly, the more I find out about these new people, the more I question that myself. Anyway, more to the point. You will be infiltrating a ninja hideout in the base of a mountain. We understand that the mountain has volcanic potential, so being a water Pokemon, we figured you’d be more efficient than say Zelda or Snake. Do you think you can manage?”

Greninja nodded, “Of course I can. I will not fail you, Monsieur Mario.”

Mario nodded back, “Good! So I assume you know where the…”

Mario was cut off by Greninja vanishing in a puff of smoke, dossier in hand, “Portal…room…is.” Mario stammered through the rest of his sentence, “Seven stars almighty, it’s too late at night for this.”

**Mount Fuji, 1590**

A portal opened several in a particularly thick patch of brush only a few feet away from Mount Fuji with Greninja stepping out of it. ROB had attempted to brief him, but the ninja Pokemon had simply bounded through the portal without hesitation. Greninja took a moment to observe the quiet scene at the mountain before him. Suddenly, he heard the squeaking of a pull wagon. Darting lightly to another patch of brush, he saw a group of kabuki-masked men hauling wagons of gold up a treacherous mountain trail, the destination of which was too hidden in winding pathways for Greninja to see. Using Shadow Sneak, Greninja managed to latch on to the bottom of the last wagon, hanging just inches above the trail that passed underneath him as the wagon rolled on. Greninja closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. For what seemed like several hours, Greninja stayed perfectly still as the haulers winded their way up the painstakingly long mountain trailer, his eyes only shooting open when the dirt path became stone. The wagons bumped, and the rigid rock scratched at Greninja’s back. Another half an hour later, just as the air began to get thin, the floor got smooth, and the wind sounded like it was being tunneled through wherever they were at. Greninja smirked to himself. This was the hideout, the floors were obviously smoothed over by man. As soon as Greninja heard a latch being pulled, and an enormous stone door roll shut, Greninja once again used Shadow Sneak, waiting until the clan of men rounded the corner with their gold haul, before appearing visible again, only to look up and see a young, lanky looking man in the same kabuki mask. Rolling closer to the petrified man, Greninja swept the man’s legs, summoning a water shuriken as he fell to his back, holding the star at the man’s throat, “Where is your leader, the one called Yoshimitsu?” demanded Greninja.

“At….at the lava river. It’s in the lowest part of the base.”

Greninja squeezed a pressure point, rending the man unconscious, before beginning the long journey down to the sublevels of the mountain base. Using Shadow Sneak as he ran, he heard all the bustle of the mountain base as he moved, from two men telling the story of a robbery to another, to what appeared to be an instruction on meditation, to a song merrily being sung by a group of the masked men in another room. However, as he advanced down into the mountain, the air got thicker, and much hotter too. As soon as that change occurred, he could hear the clank of practice swords, the intensity of this increasing as he progressed even further. He heard a man shouting drills to younger sounding men, Eerily, as he advanced even further down, the caterwauling of noise ended, with only the hissing and bubbling of lava to greet him. Greninja slowed his pace considerably, turning off his Shadow Sneak ability for the moment, pausing to look at the cave as he progressed further and further. Other than a few peculiar slashes in the markings that the encroaching lava illuminated, the cave was desolate and quiet beyond the hiss of lava. Eventually, Greninja came to a place where the lava had settled, bobbing up at his feet like an ocean in the tide. Using Shadow Sneak once again, he teleported up to the roof of the volcanic lake, crawling along the roof for what seemed like miles.

Then, he saw it. Sitting cross-legged on an ovular stone slap with some sort of hieroglyph written on it as it bobbed down the lake, was his target, Yoshimitsu. As soon as the slab was underneath Greninja he dropped. Even the sound of Greninja slipping off the sheetrock seemed to alert the man.

“Intrrrruder!” howled the man, rolling his ‘r’ like an old-time Galorian thespian.

Yoshimitsu took a long swing of his sword as if he was wielding a baseball bat. But Greninja had expected it, disappearing as the sword connected with him, leaving a green, reptilian doll behind

He gasped, but quickly bottled it back in, rigidly looking around for the frog thing that had invaded his home. Greninja appeared again, this time on the surface of the thing carrying them down the volcanic paths, connecting with a thrust kick to Yoshimitsu’s face, knocking him to his back. As he had done with his lanky subordinate, he summoned a water shuriken, holding it to his throat.

“I would assume you are the one they call Yoshimitsu?”

“Yes. Tis I!” screeched Yoshimitsu.

“I am in need of your assistance. I represent a cadre of heroes called the Super Smash Brothers, we face a threat beyond your imagination, and we require your assistance with it. Zis will also require you to participate in a fighting tournament. Do you accept?”

Yoshimitsu coughed, “Namu…namu… I shall assist you.”

Greninja held his ground. With his opponent being masked, he couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or not.

“IN YOUR SUICIDE!” howled Yoshimitsu

Yoshimitsu exhaled a deep breath, and a purple fog sprayed onto Greninja’s eyes. As Greninja thrashed, now temporarily blind, the water shuriken dissipated. Greninja felt his jaw get jacked upward, as whatever attack had hit him, possibly two feet, launched him up into the wall, which Greninja was able to land on feet first. Wiping the mist out his eyes, he fired three small water shurikens at Yoshimitsu, each of which he sliced through with his sword. Greninja dove down into the lava, landing on its feet first, treading lightly enough to run on lava. Yoshimitsu could only stand stunned as Greninja caught up to the lava raft, jumping into the air, bouncing off of Yoshimitsu’s head as he landed a diving stomp on Yoshimitsu’s head, bouncing up into the air again. Yoshimitsu rolled out of the way as he came down for a second, and bounced into the air using his sword as a pogo stick, cackling like a mad man.

“I yield. A frog demon who can walk on water, incredible.” said the ninja in between bursts of laughter

“Will you join the cause Yoshimitsu-san?”

“Ah! You use the respectful vernacular of this land, despite sounding European in origin. How odd indeed. Very well! I accept your request. However, I will need to establish a contingency leadership with my men while I’m away.”

“ _Non_. Smash Brothers exists outside of this place. We will be able to return you to this exact point in time when your services are complete.”

“How enchanting. Shall we move forward frogman?”

Greninja nodded, “We shall.”

Pressing the all-too-familiar code into his wrist communicator, a portal opened to the Smash Mansion’s foyer. As they stepped through the portal, Snake was waiting for them, along with Mario and ROB

“Ah. You’re back.” said Snake, “How was everything?”

“Quite eventful Monsieur Snake, I went to the base of a volcano.”

“Monsieur Snake and…erm…red garbed man. I am Yoshimitsu of the Manji Clan. If the fight you all provide is anything like the ninja did, I look forward to working with you.”

“And we with you Yoshimitsu,” Mario said with a bow, “I’m Mario, the leader of this…clan if you will. Greninja, you’re rooming with him, so take him to your room.”

“Oui Master Mario. Follow moi, s’il-vous-plait.”

The two ninjas walked off as Mario and Snake watched, “Hey boss, when do I get my shot?” asked Snake

“Tomorrow my friend. Now, it’s too late, and we’ve had a long day.”

“Understandable. I’m looking forward to it.”

Mario walked up the stage sending a text message to the Administration Team group chat,

**Four recruits done, 16 more to go.  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is a villain who I'm very excited to have play a part in future events.


	23. Origins: Sephiroth (featuring Team Chaotix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth ponders the lunacy of Conker's plot and, with Berri's assistance, heads to the Smash Dimension. How will he be received? What chaos will ensue? Why are Mario and Wario locked in a high stakes game of Go Fish before sunrise?

**Origins: Sephiroth (featuring Team Chaotix)**

**Conker’s Castle: Night**

The dawn of the new day would be encroaching in a mere few hours. And yet, the man known simply by his first name, Sephiroth, couldn’t sleep, choosing instead to observe the great outdoors from atop a balcony, his enormous sword, the Masamune, in hand as always. He hadn’t had much need for sleep since he tapped into his alien genome. That wasn’t the only human pleasure he’d lost along the way. Eating, pain, all had been sacrificed in preparation for what he had thought to be his birthright, to destroy the place he called Earth, and stand atop its ruin as the most powerful being… well…anywhere. But he had failed. Sephiroth didn’t like to admit he had felt angry over his defeat, but of all things, an insatiable little parasite named Cloud Strife had cut him off at the pass. And then he was plucked from death by a mad squirrel, with a thirst for revenge.

A small smile tugged at Sephiroth’s lips. That part he could understand. His goals were much the same as the squirrel’s, who he would come to know as Conker, to destroy the multiverse as it existed. That was why, supposed the One-Winged Angel, that he didn’t mind being an enforcer. After all, working in allegiance with Conker would get him to the endpoint he desired, right? Again, yes, but Conker’s mental state could be unreadable at times, in one moment screaming at an insubordinate, and laughing drunkenly with his arm around them the next. That, and the fact that Conker was secretive about how he was going to achieve his goal made him doubt his allegiances.

“Hey Seffy, whatcha up to?”

Sephiroth tensed. It was Queen Berri, Conker’s betrothed. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the squirrel, who was currently clad in a purple velvet bathrobe and matching lingerie, but she was openly flirty with him. Even more bizarre was that Conker openly encouraged it.

“Just thinking is all Queen Berri.”

“About what?”

Sephiroth finally turned to face the Squirrel Queen, who wasn’t doing a very subtle job of eying him up and down, “Conker speaks to a higher power” began the former SOLDIER commander, “Do you know who this higher power is?”

Berri bit her lip, “ I don’t think hubby would be happy if I told you.”

“Berri!” shouted Sephiroth, “Now more than ever, I need you to be honest with me. Do you know who the higher power is?”

“That’s the thing.” sighed Berri, “He won’t even let me know what their plan is. He says all of our problems will be a thing of the past. That’s all I know. I’d never pry on hubby’s affairs, much less to gossip,”

Sephiroth's expression darkened, “Very well. Then I can no longer stay here, or aid this cause for that matter.”

Berri nodded, her gaze cast downward, “I like, completely understand. Most of the folks who stick around’re people who’re, like, desperate and stuff. Most of us think we owe hubby our lives. But, if you think you have other options, go for it.”

Sephiroth grinned, “Thank you for your kindness Queen Berri.”

Berri smiled, “Just call me Berri Seffy.”

Just as Sephiroth was about to utter his thanks again, Berri spoke up with an even brighter, more devilish smile on her face, “Ooooh! I can even port you out of here with hubby’s machine!”

“I can get as far as the portal room, hang on to me.”

Without hesitation, Berri through her arms around Sephiroth’s neck. The genetic son of JENOVA pretended to not hear Berri’s impish giggle as he teleported to the portal room.

**Conker’s Castle, Portal Room**

The Portal Room had been converted from an old dungeon of The Panther King. The Portal sat in the middle of the room in the place of the old cells, while the controls had been placed atop a flight of stairs, which Berri briskly ran up, typing in the code necessary as the machine hummed to life. Sephiroth spoke up, “I’m going to the Sma-“

“I know where you’re headed Seffy.”

Sephiroth paused as the machine whirred to life around him, the trim of the machine glowing a faint blue, “Berri, one more thing.”

“What’s up babe?”

“Earlier, you said that some of you owed Conker your life. Does that statement extend to you as well?”

“Yeah. Even though I’m skeptical of hubby’s plan, he brought me back from the dead, so I’m on this train ride to the end, even if it wrecks.”

Sephiroth nodded. He understood now. Her avoidance of the subject wasn’t out of malice, but out of love for the king.

“Thank you, Berri, for everything.”

“No problem babe.”

With that, Sephiroth disappeared in a flash. Berri simply blew a kiss in the direction of where Sephiroth had been, briskly walking down the steps and out of the converted dungeon.

**Smash Mansion**

In a flash, Sephiroth appeared at the porch of the Smash Mansion. He felt the dew fill the air that came with the early morning. Just as he registered that sensation, he heard the alarms going off within the mansion. in synch with the lights of all the windowed rooms turning on. Sephiroth couldn’t help but grin at that. His grin became even wider as the double doors to the mansion burst open, and Cloud Strife came flying out of them, clad in just boxers, wielding his Buster Sword. However, just as Sephiroth readied his own sword to block, he found that Marth, in a royal blue bathrobe, had blocked Cloud’s blow.

Sephiroth smirked, “While it’s always great to see you Cloud, I’ve come to talk.”

“As we had suspected,” said Marth, as Cloud lowered his sword and stepped back into the horde of sleepy Smashers who had formed on the front courtyard,

“We?” Sephiroth asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Mario, myself, and the other administration members,” clarified Marth, “Your arrival was…erm…the best way to put it is that it was prophesized by the former boss of the Smash Brothers, Master Hand, and we have taken up that mantle in his demise.”

“I see.” Sephiroth hissed, “I wish to join your fold.”

Cloud growled, his eyes burning with hatred, “Why? What’re you planning? What is he planning Marth?” he barked, suddenly turning his ire on the prince of Altea.

“Though his coming has been predicted, we must give him the opportunity to speak,” 

“My answer is simple,” he growled, his eyes now fixed on Marth, “ When you and Mario spoke to the one called Edelgard, you spoke with honesty and kindness. Conker operates on no such terms. He, as well as his subordinates, are powerful yet desperate, Desperate enough that they overlook obvious deceit. With such chaotic forces at play, I intend to make sure that gambit is a losing one.”

“Bullshit!” yelled Cloud, “You and Conker want to destroy the multiverse equally as badly!”

“This is in line with what King K. Rool told us about Conker. However Sephiroth, that doesn’t mean that your behavior won't be guarded very closely,” explained Marth.

Sephiroth grunted dismissively, “Oh, don’t misunderstand, I will behave for as long as it benefits me. Whether or not you become something I need to eliminate later is entirely up to what I feel like after this is done. But, the fact remains, someone with as flawed a foundation as Conker is a force that cannot be left unchecked, something that falls in line with what the Smash Brothers believe. For that reason alone, my allegiance is here.”

Marth nodded, “Good. Please follow me to the cafeteria Mister Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth gave an emotionless nod as he followed the Altean prince, shoving Cloud stepping aside as the two walked in. As the One Winged Angel sneered at the Sephiroth made sure to make eye contact with Cloud. Sephiroth could see his adversary’s eyes had softened, but the indignation of the whole situation still embered underneath. The thoroughly intimidated crowd parted as they entered the doors. As he went through the door to the cafeteria, he saw a portly man in biker attire on one side of a long table. On the other was the man Sephiroth had come to know as Mario from their previous encounter. Mario and the biker appeared to be concluding a game of cards,

“Darn it. No more cards. You win Wario.” Mario sighed

“WAHAHAHA! FINALLY, THE GREAT WARIO DEFEATS THE GO FISH CHAMPION! WAHAHAHAHAH!”

Mario rubbed his temples briefly, “Alright Wario, as per the stipulation you get to make one match for the tournament bracket. Name your choice.”

As if on cue, Sonic the Hedgehog entered the room, accompanied by a bulky humanoid crocodile and a chameleon man brandishing a knife. Behind them, a humanoid bee fluttered in the air.

“Hey, boss,” said Sonic with a mock salute, “I picked up Team Chaotix like you asked me to. Guess I missed somethin’ while I was gone, everybody’s awake and miffed.”

It was then that the four noticed Sephiroth, The crocodile broke the silence, with a gulp and an “Oh God.”

“Hello,” Sephiroth said, an evil grin on his face.

“S-sonic.” quivered the bee, “Is this the guy Cloud was telling you about last time?”

“Judging by the sword, I’d say yeah,” Sonic said, his voice warbling, but in between breaths, snapped to its normal flippant tone.

Wario erupted with laughter, “Seven Stars Mario, you’re-a gonna love dis. Those three against the Sephiroth guy! WAHAHAHAHA!”

Mario sighed, “Okay, that’ll be a first-round match, and it gave me a great idea on how to structure the tournament. Thank you, Wario, but you remember the terms of our deal correct?”

Wario sighed, like a spoiled child getting reprimanded by a teacher, “Never private message you on communicator ever again. It was-a all worth it though, all ze shitposting as 9-Volt calls it to get a Go Fish match out of you, and get an audience for my brilliant stipulation.”

“Listen, you’re testing my patience by talking to me right now. The only reason why I ever agreed to your stupid deal to begin with was because you were keeping Peach and I up, and I thought entertaining you would put a stop with it. Next time Wario, I’mma be less nice. I might have-a Sephiroth take you in the training room and whoop your fat butt six ways from Sunday.”

“Usually, I would take offense to being ordered around like this, but you remind me of a fat, loud, greedy company executive I once impaled and left at his desk for the world to see.”

Mario smirked at Wario who muttered “touche” Sephiroth grinned as Wario waddled away. Sephiroth grinned as he heard Wario mutter, “I could take him though.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air for almost half a minute before Sonic spoke up, “C’mon guys let’s hit the training room. The more acclimated you are with how to fight Smash style, the less bad the beating will be.”

“Hey, thanks a lot jackass!” shouted the bee.

“As uncouth as the hedgehog is Charmy, he has a point. We need to sharpen our skills in order to stand a chance. If we work hard enough we might be able to gain the advantage with a strategic play” said the chameleon .

“Yeah Espio, yer right!” shouted the crocodile, “See ya in the ring tall, pale, and stabby!”

“Vector, don’t mouth off to him.” shouted Sonic, “C’mon guys, let’s go!”

As the four ran off towards the training sublevel, Mario stared in Sephiroth’s direction, who had an amused grin on his face, “So” said Mario, “Your room will be with…”

“I won’t be needing one.” Sephiroth growled, “I will keep watch over this place.”

Mario nodded, “Ganondorf will be happy to hear he has his own room.”

Sephiroth nodded striding back out to the courtyard, jumping up to the roof, and taking his post.

As Mario watched Sephiroth leave he heard his wrist communicator ringing. Mario pressed the button to connect the call.

“Mario here.”

“It’s Marth. Sephiroth coming here with Conker’s teleporter means we have a lock on his signature. Conker’s henchmen are causing problems in the future version of Yoshimitsu’s world, as well as a the worlds of Rizer and The Chief.”

“Crap,” groaned Mario, “We’re a-gonna need artillery. Get Snake ready.”

“As you wish Master Mario.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously cannot thank you all enough for reading on. The consistent views this story gets means the world to me. The next chapter is the first big action scene I ever put to paper, and I do hope you enjoy it.


	24. The First Skirmish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of events converge four new Smashers on the first big offensive from the Squirrel Kingdom

**The First Skirmish  
  
**

**Classified maximum security prison somewhere in Earth Federation territory, 2647 AD**

Moving in an eerie, synchronized march, three identical, lanky, black-haired men in suits ventured to a vault in the very back of a subterranean floor of a prison facility with a location so shrouded in mystery, that it was only known to the highest echelon of government officials and the few people who worked there. Their mission, to free a man who went from war hero to greatest _genocidaire_ humankind had ever seen in just a few seconds, the man who’s name the vault was inscribed with,

Bill Rizer.

The three men nodded to the technician, who used a retina scanner to make a holographic keyboard appear. The man typed in a 15 digit code, then another, then another, and yet another. Upon completion of the final string, the layers holding Bill within began to peel away, ending as a fourth vault door open. Rizer was bound at the hands and feet by large metal shackles, his blond hair wet and long, and his military issue camouflage pants uncomfortably damp looking. The man grumbled ans groaned, his eyes opening to reveal an icy stare of immediate contempt,   
  
“Who the hell’re you?” he growled.

“We represent the President of Earth. The Blood Falcon, a spiritual successor to the organization that you and your old partner Lance dedicated so much of your to fighting, has begun to wreak havoc upon this Earth, but they have begun moving through a portal. The President’s scientists have determined this to be a portal of alternate dimensional origin. We request that you follow them, and prevent them from coming back here. Transportation will be provided, but upon stepping through the portal you will have no backup. Mister Rizer, do you accept these terms?’

Bill grinned, a fire in his eyes, “When, and where?”

**_The Pillar of Autumn_ ** **, in Instillation 04 Orbit**

The ship was under siege, that much was made obvious by the throng of Covenant warships outside, but that wasn’t worth breaking composure over. Part of this was a carefully crafted poker face, as realistically, Cryo Specialist Connor Johns had plenty of reason to worry didn’t wish to worry his younger subordinate and fellow Cryo Specialist, Sam Avidan, by losing composure. However, part of his stony demeanor was genuine. Every once in a while, a nagging voice told Johns that the man they were about to introduce into this conflict would win the war for Earth.

“Right. Let’s thaw him out” snapped Johns, partially to bring the starry-eyed Avidan back to reality.

“Okay, bringing low-level systems online,” began Avidan, talking himself through the steps, “ Cracking the case in thirty seconds”

In those thirty seconds, all sound seemed to fade from Avidan and Johns’ perception. This was all that mattered right now.

“Okay, he’s hot! Blowing the pins in five.”

As each connection point strapping the figure in cryosleep snapped, the schematics of the man’s armor appeared on the computer screen in front of them. Avidan let out a muffled, “oooh” as it did. There was no doubt what the cryo pod contained, a 100 percent genuine Spartan soldier. Below the intimidating schematics was the man’s codename, ‘Master Chief.’ A third man, Cryo specialist Dolph Rowe, was walking Chief through the basics of movement, to make sure the cryosleep hadn’t impeded his motor skills, when suddenly, the Chief growled, “No time. I need a weapon.”

Even though some distance and an observation deck separated Rowe and Johns, Johns could see Rowe’s skin visibly pale, hurriedly tossing Chief his service pistol. Rowe walked Chief over to the shield recharge station, Johns and Avidan activating it. After bringing the shields down, and the shields automatically recharging as they were designed, a call came from Captain Keyes that Master Chief needed to be at the bridge immediately. After Rowe began to spew diagnostics and procedure at him, Keyes reiterated his command, more forcefully this time. At the exact moment, the doors to the cryosleep control room were blasted open by the first wave of Covenant invaders. Cryo Specialists Connor Johns and Sam Avidan never stood a chance. Rowe lead Master Chief through a door, Chief making sure to keep several paces behind. This was a battle instinct the proved correct, as the door became engulfed in an explosion, incinerating Rowe along with it. Chief ducked through a side door in the hallway, bolting down long corridors, and through explosions. The Spartan ducked and weaved through malfunctioning automatic doors. Down one particularly dark hallway, a Covenant grunt stood, roaring to sound intimidating. Without hesitation, Master Chief jammed the service pistol into its alien maw and shot it dead. Bounding into the next room, an older Marine was beckoning to him that he could lead him to the bridge, but unfortunately, in attempting to be helpful, the Marine took his eyes off the present battle, and so he was shot did in one laser blast from the covenant Invader. Chief emptied a few bullets into the offending grunt, killing him, bounding into the next room, which appeared to be a supply room, littered with the corpses of dead Marines.

“Get clear Chief” shouted a Marine in the next room, who was mid firefight.

Chief didn’t even acknowledge the young man as he whizzed into the next series of hallways, all of which were oddly serene, “The rapid tapping of keyboards, followed by the sight of men hunched over computer banks confirmed to Chief he was on the bridge of _The Pillar_. Steadying from a run to a walk, he walked around to the big monitor to meet the man he knew to be the captain of this ship, Jacob Keyes.

“Captain Keyes” grunted Master Chief, extending a hand.

The old war veteran happily took the hand, shaking it, “Good to see you Chief. Things aren’t going well. Cortana did her best, but we never really had a chance.”

Master Chief took note of Keyes’ expression. If he was fearful or angry, he didn’t show it. Cortana, the ship’s AI appeared from a hologram projector on the desk, in a provocative human female form.

“A dozen Covenant superior battleships against a single Halcyon-Class cruiser. With those odds, I’m content with three, maybe four kills.”

No one could see it, but Master Chief frowned. He had forgotten how inappropriately snarky the AI could be.

“Sleep well?” Cortana asked with a flirty wink.

_The only way to make it through this is to go toe to toe_ thought the Spartan

“No thanks to your driving, yes.” dryly remarked Master Chief.

“So you did miss me,” Cortana shot back with equal dryness.

An explosion suddenly rocked _The Pillar._ Both Keyes and Chief were nearly sent toppling into the holographic screen but kept their footing.

“Report!” snapped Keyes.

“It was an anti-matter charge, judging by the impact, and I bet it was fired by one of their boarding parties,” Cortana explained, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“M’am! Fire control to the main cannon is offline.” shouted one of the men from the sea of computer banks around them. 

Keyes clicked his tongue. That was as close to negatively emoting as anyone bearing witness to this would see the aging warhorse.

“Alright, I’m initiating Cole Protocol 2. We’re abandoning The Autumn. That means you too Cortana.” Keyes explained, suddenly thrusting a pointing finger in the AI’s direction,

“While you do what?” Go down with the ship?” barked Cortana

Keyes pulled a smoking pipe from his jacket pocket as he spoke, “In a manner of speaking, yes. That object up ahead, I’m going to try and land the ship on it.”

“It’s foolish to…” began Cortana, but Keyes shook his head.

“USMC protocol is clear about these situations. The capture of a shipboard AI is completely unacceptable, and that means you’re leaving ship. Lock in a selection of emergency landing zones, upload them to my neural lace, and get set for a hard transfer,” ordered Keyes.

“Aye-aye sir” piped the morose voice of Cortana as she disappeared.

“Chief, your mission is to get Cortana off the ship.” Keyes began, “ Keep her safe from the enemy. If they capture her they’ll learn everything about, force deployment, weapons research…”

“I understand,” said Master Chief.

Cortana suddenly reappeared, “I’ve set evasive maneuvers and subroutines for landing. Not that you’ll obey either without me around, but you know, due diligence and all that.”

With a smirk on his face, Keyes took a long drag of his pipe, “Thank you Cortana.”

Cortana went to say something in return but stopped. She closed her eyes, deeply inhaling, and then exhaling, “Yank me,” she demanded

Keyes punched in a code on the keyboard connected to Cortana’s holographic stand. She fizzled out of existence, and a disk lurched out of the disc drive. Wordlessly, Keyes handed the disc to Master Chief, who inserted it into the back of his helmet. Immediately, he could hear Cortana’s sultry voice in his head,

“Mmmm, your architecture isn’t much different from the Autumn’s.”

“Don’t get any funny ideas,” growled Master Chief.

When Chief focused on the scene around him, Keyes had unloaded a USMC Assault Rifle from underneath the desk, “It’s got a round of ammunition, after that you’ll have to find ammo as you go.”

Master Chief set off with a nod. Weaving through the hallways now sufficiently armed, he moved from room to room, clearing rooms of Covenant Forces, and cleaning up the firefights that had Marines pinned down especially the shield baring higher level Covenant troops. Serenity returned to the ship as the living Marines celebrated the Chief’s arrival and their good fortune. Suddenly, another blast rocked the ship.

“ What the hell? Did something just hit us?” cried a young Marine

“Move it, back to the airlock.” Ordered another voice, no doubt the first Marine’s commanding officer as Chief exited the room.

A horde of Covenant soldiers burst from a side room, bringing with them a barrage of laser fire. Chief took them all down with ease, but not without the cost of a bit of shield.

“Keep your head down!” whined Cortana, “There’s two of us in here now remember?”

“It’ll be fine. I don’t need a backseat driver” growled Master Chief.

Chief heard Cortana grunt in displeasure as he rounded the next hallway. Suddenly, the AI piped up again, “They’re using our lifeboat airlocks to attach their boarding craft! We come out and they come in. Clever bastards.”

“Our main concern is getting out of here Cortana.”

The two journeyed through the winding hallways of _The Autumn,_ Chief pausing occasionally to take out a horde of Covenant, with Cortana providing an extra set of eyes when Chief needed it. Chief was especially grateful for this when Cortana directed him to the dark maintenance accessways. Chief surmised that if he had followed the main hallways, he likely would’ve unintentionally gone running into Covenant gunfire or worse. Chief surmised that, while Cortana could be annoying, she was an invaluable ally.

“I think they wanted to catch you napping,” Cortana said to herself.

“What?” whispered Chief, peering down and seeing Covenant run about the Cryosleep area that the maze of hallways had led them to.

“The reason why they were so hellbent on following us was…you.”

Master Chief couldn’t afford to ponder the implications of that statement, as he mowed down the final remaining horde of Covenant enemies, before heading to the last lifeboat. He effortlessly scooped up a downed Marine, throwing him inside as the latch door closed, and the lifeboat launched away.

“We are disengaged, going for minimum safe d… what the hell?” asked the pilot, a country-accented Marine suddenly.

Master Chief worked his way up to the front of the lifeboat, peering out the window.

“What the hell?” simultaneously cursed Chief and Cortana.

It was a wormhole, and judging by the gravitational pull, which was sucking every Covenant ship into it, they were next. Suddenly, the lifeboat broke apart, and in an instant, Chief and Cortana were sucked through.

**Devil’s Pit, Mount Sumatra, Indonesia, 2017**

Chun-Li looked up at the top of the mountain she was about to climb. It all started a few days ago when Akuma had reappeared and began to embroil himself in the affairs of conglomerate warlord father-son duo Heihachi and Kazuya Mishima. This had lead to Heihachi using a satellite to blow up a building with thousands of people inside, and Kazuya had turned into a devil and blown up the satellites. Now, the two were in some sort of fistfight at the top of Mount Sumatra The law had long since turned a blind eye to the two, as they were rich beyond reproach and pillars of the economy, at least that what Chun-Li’s corrupt as hell Interpol bosses had said. No matter, if no jail cell would have them, the very least she could do was climb the mountain and kick their asses.

Or at least that’s what she thought, until a purple explosion rocked the top of the mountain, sending what seemed like an entire slice of the mountain down at her. Chun-Li let a curse slip in Chinese as she flipped backward, just narrowly avoiding the enormous mass.

Chun-Li let out a breath of shock, looking first up at the steaming husk that had once been a considerable length of Mount Sumatra, and then at the red, futuristic watch Ryu had given her from one of his adventures, with the catch being that it was for cataclysmic emergencies only.

“And, now seem like that time,” breathed Chun-Li, “Now to get this thing to work.” She grumbled, poking at the watch.

**Violet Systems HQ, Tokyo Japan, 2017**

_It’s up to me… I must kill Kazuya_ Jin mulled over the announcement he had just made to his adopted brothers Lars and Lee, as well as the investigative reporter who’s fate had become intertwined with there’s.

Just as he pivoted to walk away, a purple bolt of lightning sliced through the sky sideways, then, a wormhole straight out of a sci-fi movie tore open the sky, with spaceships of unknown origins piling through.

“For God’s Sake, what now?” whined Lee

“Lars, Lee, take the reporter. You and Alisa help the people on the ground. I’ll go up top,” Jin commanded

All three men nodded, heading for the stairs. Jin focused. He felt anger and hate piling to the front of him, like vomit. His eyes became blood red. His back exploded with pain as if daggers were flying out of his back. In truth, they weren’t daggers, but wings. With a similar intensity horns sprouted out of his forehead. Using his laser beams that came out of his eyes, he eviscerated half of one ship, before swan diving off the buildings before taking to the air.

_Scream, splat, splat, thunk thunk thunk_

Master Chief had fallen onto the top of the Covenant ship, while the body parts of Marines eviscerated by the wormhole connected with the ship. Those that lived could barely scream before their bodies impacted with the ship’s outer armor and simply exploded.

“What? How… Where?” gasped Cortana.

“No time! This is a Covenant Ship. Maybe we can break in through the window!”

“You crazy bastard,” cursed Cortana.

Suddenly, Master Chief saw a red laser erupt from one of the skyscrapers of this new world, sawing the Covenant ship two across from his clean in half.

“Bright side, we have an ally manning an AA gun.” Cortana quipped

Using the visor on his helmet, Chief zoomed in on the origin point of the blast and saw a man with wings taking to the air.

“Cortana…that’s not a man,” Chief explained.

Meanwhile, barrel rolling and tucking to brace his descent was Bill Rizer. Connecting with a Blood Falcon ship and rolling down it perfectly, he grabbed onto the nose of the ship, punching out the glass when he eased himself up and tossed the pilot out. Just as he did, he saw a man with wings fly by. The second of distraction gave the tens of Blood Falcon troops who were now out for blood time to pull him inside the ship, all surrounding him with weapons drawn. Suddenly, he heard a scream, one that sounded human

“THERE!” growled the voice.

Suddenly, the center point of the room exploded, taking a few Blood Falcon grunts with it. Bill used the moment of confusion to use his trusty Spread gun, firing, and easily taking out the remaining Blood Falcon Soldiers. After that happened, a man with camo fatigues fizzled into existence, prone on the ground.

“Who’re you and how the hell did you get up here?”

“My name’s Snake, and I snuck on when these alien assholes deployed ground troops. Everyone else that was a non-friendly on this vessel is dead. You’re welcome.” snarled the man now known as Snake

“My name’s Bill Rizer, formerly of the Contra unit. I’m assuming you, me, and the goth kid with wings are on the same side?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for him too. I have a feeling we’re going to run into the other two guys I’m looking for too at the end of this.”

“Looking?” asked Rizer, confused

“It’s a long story. Now help me figure out the weapons on this damn thing,” growled Snake

Meanwhile, Master Chief was clawing his way down the side of a Covenant ship when the winged man Chief had seen earlier flew to him, his wings idly flapping, “Are you an ally?” he asked in a bored monotone

“I’m against these assholes if that’s what you mean,” Chief growled

“Then you are an ally.”

“Enough! Just blow us a way in.”

Jin nodded, swooping down to the window of the ship, and blasting a hole through it. Suddenly, what appeared to be a gang of identical mohawked, combat fatigue wearing men, jumped out, smother Jin. Jin flew up to where Chief was, thrashing. Chief could hear the beeping of multiple time bombs emanating from the men. With no hesitation, Chief unsheathed his Assault Rifle, gripping the metal frame of the Covenant ship, and firing at the bomb men, with Jin barrel rolling and shifting so Master Chief could get a good shot at each one. Eventually, the bomb men all fell to the ground, completely limp. As Master Chief looked to continue his climb inside, Cortana interjected, “Chief, there’s a weapons cache, we might want to try to preserve it.”

Chief nodded, “Jin! When I get inside I’m going to need you to blow out the thrusters. I’ll try to land the ship. I need the cache inside.”

Jin again, nodded, watching Chief climb down, occasionally blowing up smaller ships that had come out of the capital ships with lasers to give Chief safe passage. It was at this point that Jin noticed one of the red-painted ships was turning against its own allies, firing every bit of its external weapons at the neighboring capital ships. Just as Jin began to ponder the scale of this invasion, Master Chief clawed his way inside. Jin swooped around, using his eye lasers to blow up the propulsion systems. The explosion was mighty, sending Jin backward, and sending about half the ship to smithereens. When it safely landed in a nearby body of water, Jin took off towards the rogue red ship.”

Inside the aforementioned rogue red ship, Snake and Bill were counting the odds having to scream to each other and hang on to something bolted down as they were flying windowless on an aircraft, “Let’s see, we’re about six ships down, with how many to go”

“Presumably infinity if these assholes are like the assholes that came before them.”

“Well that’s just great” growled Snake

“I could fix it.” Jin nonchalantly said, flying up to them.

“How?” Snake asked.

“By flying up in the portal and going nuts, and hope that whatever keeps the thing open is on the other side.”

“I like this guy’s style, but I came through the other end, and we didn’t see anything.”

Suddenly, the speakers on the ship flared to life, “Devil Boy may have a theory.”

“Who the hell are you?” growled Rizer.

“He’s Master Chief let him talk.” barked Snake.

“The way I got in here was that I was sucked in, literally out of space, I wonder if they were being rerouted to a point between Point A and Point B.”

Snake shrugged, “Worth a shot as much as anything I guess. Jin, take ‘em down.”

Jin nodded, flying into the sky, barrel rolling around small cruisers, and occasionally firing lasers if they interfered with his direct path, eventually flying to the portal. He breathed in as deeply as he could, firing and intense, concentrated laser blast into the portal. As Jin was sent flying backward by the force of his own blast, the portal began to flicker, and the remaining ships, aside from the one Master Chief was in, were sucked back through the portal.

“Heh, it worked,” Jin announced to himself before colliding back first into a tree, knocking himself unconscious.

The next thing Jin remembered were the voices of his comrades

“Well holy shit, he’s just a normal guy?” Bill asked

“Yep, that’s what the dossier said,” nonchalantly said Snake

“Dossier?” groggily asked Jin, “The hell are you talking about?”

“Well, as I was explaining to these two, I’m Snake, and I represent The Super Smash Brothers, an interdimensional fighting league that doubles as a crime-fighting league. We’re in the middle of what you might call a recruitment drive right now because there’s a big threat and we need all of you.”

“Fighting? Taking care of big threats? What the hell, I’m in.” sneered Bill

“Cortana and I second that” agreed Chief

“Cortana?” asked Bill

“My AI. I’m sort of her protector at the moment.”

“Well, there’s no safer place than the Smash Mansion, a pocket dimension, that you specifically have to know how to travel on an interdimensional basis to get to.” Snake explained.

“I suspect my father or my grandfather or both are involved considering how I was mobbed by Jacks," Jin mused aloud.

“Cortana!” barked the Chief, “Be mature!”

“What?” asked Jin.

“She made a joke that wasn’t appropriate.”

“Now,” Snake barked, turning all three to him, “We can’t leave yet, as we’re looking for the fourth…”

Snake’s red watch, which none of the other three had noticed before, began to flash blue and beep.

“…Person. Right on cue,” growled Snake.

He pressed a button and spoke into it, “This is Snake.”

“Hello. My name is Chun-Li, and I’m a friend of Ryu’s. I believe I require your assistance now.”

“We’ll be right there.” Snake informed her.

“Right there? Where are you?”

“Japan.”

“But I’m in Indonesia.”

“No problem. I’ll be there in two.”

“What the…?” Chun-Li’s voice was cut off as Snake terminated the call.

“Everyone gather round.” Announced Snake, “We’re going on Snake’s Magic Smash Bus.”

“What in the blue hell did you just say?” growled Bill.

“It’s a habit, I’m sorry. There’s this show that my roommate likes from my world and she keeps watching it.”

“Cortana says you don’t need to explain yourself, that it sounds like fun,” Chief interjected

“Has anyone told you you sound insane when you speak up for your computer?” asked Bill with a sneer.

“Oh, you’ll meet her someday.”

Realizing that cutting the chatter was meaningless, Snake used the watch’s seldom used teleporting function

**Indonesia**

Chun Li was standing at the base of the mountain, as she had been at the beginning of this debacle, when three men, one in a sci-fi armor, one guy who looked like some sort of emo-rock music video star, and two men straight out of 80s action movies appeared before her.

“Chun-Li?” growled the man in the camouflage

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Jesus, she could choke out Kimkoh with those legs.”

Snake’s palm met his face, “Forgive my friend here Bill here, he’s new.”

Chun-Li frowned, “I’m not going to make a big deal out of it, but trust me, someday, you’ll get yours.”

“Luckily for you, the invite I’m going to extend to you is part fighting tournament, part police work.”

Chun-Li chuckled, “Ryu must’ve told you about me. He’s acutely aware that those are the two things I’m best at.”

Snake grinned, “Good, we’re happy to have you then.”

He punched in a code and a portal opened, Snake motioned them through. Before they knew it, the four were standing in an opulent mansion, where a blue-haired man in blue armor awaited them.

“Greetings!” said the man, with a wave, “I am Marth, Vice President of the Super Smash Brothers. As we’re still going to be waiting for some stragglers for the next few days, I’ve been instructed to show you to your rooms. Master Chief and Bill, you will be rooming together. Jin, you will be rooming with Terry, and Chun-Li will be rooming with…”

“CHUN-LI IS HERE!” screamed a voice from the top of the stairs.

Ken and Ryu were at the top of the stairs, lightly jogging down to greet their long time friend. The three engaged in a group hug, “Ken! How’re things with Eliza and the boy?” asked Chun-Li.

“He’s almost a teenager now.”

“Almost a….but Ken, didn’t he just start school?”

“Wait for it,” said Ryu, crossing his arms.

“Wait for what-aghhhhh.” Chun-Li groaned, wincing.

“Eeyup. Smash exists outside of time, so if you come here you become aware of your future.”

“This is…strange.”

“Don’t I know it.” Ken said nonchalantly, “Anyway, you’re rooming with us.”

Chun Li’s eyes went wide, “Really? It’ll be like when Ryu and I used to bum hotel rooms off of you in the Street Fighter tournaments.”

Ken shrugged, “I’m happy to do it! Three’s company as they say. Hey Marth?”

“Hm?” Marth asked

“I never brought it up with Mario before, but sometimes our universe melds with another universe long enough for us to beat a bad guy and then it goes back to normal. Like, we know Jin, Yoshimitsu, Megaman, and Terry from four separate times where that’s happened I feel like the villains will use that to their advantage.”

“I’ll bring that up with ROB immediately,” said Marth

“Thanks, bro! Anyway, I’ll show y’all where your rooms are if you wanna come with me.”

As the three newcomers walked away with Ryu and Ken, Snake’s shoulder slumped, “God, I need a cigarette.” He groaned, heading for the front courtyard of the mansion.

“Don’t go too far, you’re actually needed for another recruitment in a few moments. It’ll be much easier than the last however.’

“I’ll be right there just, let me get a smoke break in.” uncharacteristically whined Snake

Marth’s wristwatch went off. It was the administration group chat.

**Otis: Hey Marth, can’t get ahold of Mario, and I’ve got a question you might be able to answer**

**Marth: He’s probably catching up on sleep from Wario bothering him. What’s up?**

**Otis: Why do the recruitment notes for the next one just say Offseason Smash?**

**Marth: There was a group that tried to rip us off in between Brawl and Duel, and Mario’s always wanted to time travel and poach some of their big stars**

**Sans: If we don’t keep Mario’s ego in check, he might demand we lower him from a motorcycle so he can talk about how great it is to be king.**

**Mikey: ROB put that in the notes just to make Sans mad**

**ROB: Affirmative**

**Marth: That aside, Snake’s going to use an inroad to talk to three of them.**

**Sans: Cool. The portal’s ready when he is**

**Marth: Thanks Sans. By the way, can you tag Ken and Ryu’s universe? Apparently the reason Ryu knows all these people is because their universes meld randomly. Worth keeping an eye on.**

**ROB: Affirmative Marth, I agree with your last sentiment as well.**

  
Marth headed up the stairs to the bedrooms, With the rest of the team ready to brief Snake at any time, he figured he should follow Mario’s sentiment and take a brief nap. Flopping into one of the lobby's chairs, he felt his body relax and his eyes close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know where all of our newcomers are in their respective timelines  
> Jin- Final scene/after credits of Tekken 7  
> Master Chief: Tutorial of Halo Combat Evolved  
> Chun-Li Super Street Fighter 2  
> Bill: The prologue of Contra Shattered Soldier.  
> Tune in tomorrow when SSB and Playstation All stars finally cross over!)


	25. Super Smash Battle Royal Bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calamity and insanity are abound as the greatest crossover fighter of all time (and Super Smash Brothers), crossover. This chapter summary has been paid for by the Friends of Polygon Man

**Super Smash Battle Royale Bros**

**Smash Mansion**

Snake flicked his cigarette to the ground, stamping it out on the grassy front of the Smash Mansion lawn. Sighing, he pivoted on his heel and walked back inside where Marth was waiting for him. Snake noticed his normally pristine blue hair was askew in the back. Perhaps Marth had taken a nap in the half hour Snake had taken to compose himself? Marth held out a dossier to him. Deciding he wasn't going to say anything about his powernap if Marth wasn't, Snake took it. The dossier was thick, and at least three of the files were marked with yellow sticky notes. The first one, a non-stickied one, was a face he was intimately familiar with. The silver-haired, half cyborg face of Raiden.

“Are we recruiting Raiden?” Snake asked incredulously .

Marth shook his head, “I’m afraid not. The three pictures with that infernal colored sticky paper are your actual recruits. The rest are to be offered auxiliary memberships if they take them.”

“Got it.” Snake growled.

Marth’s eyes suddenly widened, “Oh! I almost forgot.”

Marth rummaged through a satchel slung over his right shoulder, finally handing Snake a rectangular piece of paper. Snake flipped over the piece of paper. A check, From the Bank of Smash. For forty billion Smash Coins.

“What? A check? For forty billion coins as well. Who’re we giving the big bucks to?” asked the mercenary.

“Back of the dossier,” Marth said with a dismissive wave. 

Snake flipped through it, and saw a, quite frankly, ugly looking purple head, made of jagged shapes.

“That’s Polygon Man. He’s that organization’s Master Hand equivalent.”

“Is this some kind of Smash ripoff?”

“Well, yes. It started up about two years before the Duel tournament. It’s nowhere near as popular as Smash, but it does have it’s loyal fans. Master Hand has always wanted to buy them outright, give them jobs under our umbrella.”

“To eliminate the competition no doubt,” said Snake.

“No, to give them jobs, and teach them how to do it the proper way as Master Hand says.”

Snake grunted dismissively, “Out of touch old man.”

“It isn’t our place to judge, only to follow. Besides, has Master Hand led us wrong before?”

Snake let out a barely audible growl. Marth was technically right, but being stabbed in the back by an authority had run in the family.

“Alright Snake, to the portal room with you!”

“Got it.”

**Portal Room**

Snake watched as the Portal Room flickered to life, the portal to another dimension, which appeared to be the sight of a hotel with an immaculately groomed lawn.

“Alright Snake,” came the voice of Shulk from a control room a floor above, “I need you to contact Raiden on Codec. The portal being open should give you the reception you need.”

“Hmm. I wonder…?”

“Something the matter Snake?”

“No, I’m wondering if he even still has the number.”

Snake muttered something unintelligible to himself, before kneeling and announcing the code to himself.

“141.80.” Snake said, each number coming out slowly and deliberately.

A few, silent seconds passed. Even from a floor up, Shulk could see Snake’s body jolt. Was that joy he’d just seen coming from the always grouchy mercenary?

“Raiden, it’s...it’s Snake. This may sound strange but, I’m....right outside the hotel. Or at least, I will be in a few seconds.”

Snake grinned faintly as he stepped through the portal. A man in his position didn’t often get to feel the sensation of catching up with an old friend.

**The All-stars Hotel**

Before Snake could even enter the lobby, Raiden was already before him.

“Hmph. It must be important if the great Solid Snake comes to visit.”

Snake opened his mouth but then frowned. His old friend did have a reason to be catty. It was true he’d only been keeping in contact with the Shadow Moses ops team for security purposes.

“Raiden” sighed Snake, “If I went back to our world, people would try to use my DNA for war, and start the cycle over again. Any kind of correspondence that gave away where I was would be dangerous.”

Raiden chuckled, “Your knack for precaution is still in tact I see.”

Snake grinned, opening his mouth to say more, but Raiden had already strode to the lobby. Snake would have to ask him about his increasingly robotic face later.

Raiden was suavely shushing an overly excited front desk agent when he entered the lobby. Snake frowned as he looked around. The place was like any hotel one would find in his world’s version of the United States. Soulless abstract art lined the wall. The carpet was an ugly purple diamond design on a navy blue background. Any fixtures looked like were probably new as of the 1990s. Snake let his nose wrinkle, which Raiden chuckled at, “What, my new home doesn’t live up to your mansion Mister Bourgeoisie?”

Snake was actively smiling now, “Enough pretty boy. Now, can you call an all-hands meeting?”

From seemingly nowhere, Raiden produced a conch shell.

“What?” Snake asked, bewildered.

“What?” Raiden asked, indignantly, “We don’t all have Command Trooper looking wrist communicators like we do.”

“Hey, it’s _Robot_ Command Trooper. How do you not know about the original mecha anime?”

“Because my roommate isn’t an otaku.” Raiden snapped.

“Ah, good point,” conceded the mercenary, “Do your thing.”

Raiden blew into the conch shell. The noise that came out of it sounded like a bass-boosted done of a note that seemed to go on for an eternity, followed by something vaguely sounding like a flute, if the flute was being played into a drive-thru speaker. When the noise died down, all of the people Snake had read about in the dossier seemed to just appear in front of them.

“Hey!” shouted the woman Snake had come to know simply as The Fat Princess. When Snake examined her more closely, it was clear her face was covered in some kind of icing “You interrupted my third dessert! There’d better be a reason for this ninja man!”

“Hey, who’s the Escape from New York lookin’ mama jamma.” slurred a young man in a red trenchcoat.

“Holy Precursors Dante, you drinkin’ alone again?” whined a weasel atop a young blond man’s arm.

“Hey!” barked Dante, “I can want anytime I quit.to ” he slurred, hiccuping.

“Poor guy’s probably messed up on some other stuff too.” said a dark-haired man in simple khakis and wifebeater outfit.

“Mister Drake, the composition of Dante’s diet today is…” a small robot perched on the back of a humanoid marsupial began.

“ENOUGH!” roared a voice, seemingly coming from everywhere at once.

With a purple flash, Polygon Man appeared, “Well, if it isn’t that Smasher that was too good for our little Battle Royale. I bet Master Hand put you up to this? That posh idiot has been a thorn in my skull for quite some time, and how DARE he send one of his kid-friendly soldiers to recruit my top stars. Well! I’ve got one thing to say to that crusty old hand, and that’s…”

Wordlessly, Snake presented the check to Polygon Man. Using psychic power of some sort, Polygon Man made the check float up to his eyes, which went wide as saucers when he saw the amount

“WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY WAS, ENJOY THE PLAYSTATION ALLSTARS BRAND! I CAN BUY AS MANY PACHINKO MACHINES AND MAKE AS MANY BAD GAMES AS I WANT WITH THIS MONEY! LATER LOSERS!”

And with a purple puff of smoke, Polygon Man was gone.

“Yo...what just...happened?” said the paper-flat dog dressed like a rapper

“I believe Polygon Man is like a parrot who flew the coop...POLLY’S GONE!” chortled the weasel

For what seemed like an eternity, no one said anything. Then Snake cleared his throat, “So, the reason why we’ve bought out your brand is that we would like to absorb you all into our fold. Only three of you will be in our main roster, fighting in tournaments. But, when we need all hands on deck, each of you will be called upon.”

There was a murmur of speculation among the crowd, which eventually quieted.

“Sly Cooper, the duo of Ratchet and Clank, and the suo of Jak and Daxter, congratulations, you are Smashers.”

“OH YEAH! IN YO FACE EVERYBODY! YOU CAN CHOKE ON THAT CAFETERIA FOOD! YEAH!” cheered Daxter, the weasel from earlier

“Calm down Dax,” said his blond companion, Jak.

“Yes weasel, your victory will be short-lived.” Clank, the robot mounted to the marsupial's back, droned

Ratchet, his companion, gave an uncomfortable chuckle, “Good luck you three, as for the rest of you. See you around.”

“Yeah, same to you Ratchet.” muttered the raccoon in a thief’s outfit, Sly Cooper

There was happy chatter among the group before Dante spoke up, “OF COURSE. YOU DON’T WANT ME! I’M DOAN-TAY! C’mon Evil Cole, let’s tell Soldier Boy over here where to shove his B-Team membership.”

With a nod, a sneering man with a crew cut nodded, and the two-strode up to the elevator on the opposite wall of the lobby, stepping inside when the doors opened. As they got in, the man with the odd hair in the karate gi bolted after them. Just before the doors closed, Snake heard Heihachi muttering the word “proposition.”

When the elevator closed with the three men inside, Snake growled, “Their loss. Alright, Smashers come with me. The rest of you, pack your stuff, you’ll be receiving an invitation to the Smash Realm in the next few days. You can bring anyone you want. Seating at the stadium will be explained in your invite.”

Snake typed in the code for a portal to the Smash Mansion. The four stepped through it, closing it behind them. In the foyer sat a pink humanoid hippo and a green, slightly nerdy-looking humanoid turtle.

“Murray! Bentley! What’re you guys doing here?” asked Sly, a wide smile on his face

“Well, we were workin’ on the van outside the hotel, and we just got teleported here,” said Murray, scratching the back of his head

“Guys, this is the Smash Mansion. We’re in Smash!” Sly explained.

“Yes,” came the voice of Marth, “You, Bentley and Murray will be rooming together. Jak, Daxter, Ratchet and Clank will be rooming together as well.”

“Oh, wonderful. I crave an oil bath, it would feel exquisite right now.” Clank sighed while closing his eyes as Ratchet walked away.

“Can ya not do it in the room? I don’t want my room smelling like an oil dispensary!” whined Daxter as Jak walked to follow Ratchet

When the duos were out of sight, Snake sighed, “Jesus, I need a cigarette.”

Marth giggled.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Snake, “By the way, where’s our fearless leader?”

“Overseeing construction teams making repairs to Smash City, sending out invitations to vendors and the like. We’ve only got seven more people to recruit, two of which are in a group, and we’ve got that under control.”

Snake chuckled to himself, “Remind me to buy the man a beer once all this nonsense is over,” he said, walking away.

“I’ll hold you to that!” called Marth.

Marth immediately keyed a short request into the administration team group chat.

**Please call Pit, Dark Pit, and Palutena in for the next recruitment. They’ll be in Hell, so tell them to dress for warm weather.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering what noise exactly came out of the conch.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaONOQswRSQ&ab_channel=WindowsXProfessional


	26. Origins: Dante and Vergil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop me if you've heard this one. Two angels and a goddess walk into Hell...

**Origins: Dante and Vergil**

**The Demon World, the former site of the Qliphoth Tree**

In the dank nothingness of Hell, a thick demon-slaying sword clashed with a much thinner katana-esque blade. The katana’s black trenchcoat-wearing user grunted, gritting his teeth, ready to exert some force to repel the attack. However, the piercing blow of his opponent, his red trenchcoat-wearing brother,was simply too fierce. The man who wielded the katana was sent flying backward. Luckily for him, however, the man was well versed in how to respond to such an attack, simply taking a knee, and letting his knee bear most of the momentum as eventually slid to a stop.

“Score one for Dante!” the man in the red trenchcoat cheered.

“Where did you learn to count?” angrily demanded the black trenchcoat wearing man.

“Same place as you Vergil, from mom,” smirked Dante.

Vergil knew deep in his heart he should’ve been mad, but he found himself smirking, “Your idiocy aside, we’re even in terms of score.”

“You know, I have a feeling this is never gonna end,” said Dante, mirroring Vergil’s smirk.

Vergil lazily rolled to his side, careful not to lay completely down to avoid getting whatever gunk the floor of the Demon World consisted of getting in his short white hair, “Maybe, but we have plenty of time”

Dante chuckled, wiping his own, slightly longer silver hair out of his eyes. Just as he did, a voice rang out

“Isn’t that just, precious?” an evil coo seemed to ring out from thin air.

In a burst of darkness a woman appeared, tall, well-built and frighteningly beautiful, with her skin almost as pale as porcelain in some places, and blotched with an evil purple hew in some places. Her hair consisted of gnarly, ravenous green snakes, and her face bore something in between a dismissive smile and an annoyed scowl. Her intimidating staff shimmered with dark energy as her lips pursed into a smile upon seeing the two men.

“Who in the hell are you?” growled Vergil.

The woman laughed “My my, your word play truly is darling, just as my sources said it would be. However, when you interrupt the proceedings of one underworld, we all hear about it. Because of your meddling in the natural balance, I’m afraid you must suffer the wrath of Medusa!”  
Driving the bottom of her staff into the ground, a horde of ghoulish looking demons similar to the ones commanded by The Qliphoth Tree appeared.

“Empusas? Where’d this girl get Empusas?” asked Dante.

“Not the time!” barked Vergil.

The two brothers crisscrossed each other, killing demons that would have otherwise attacked the other from behind Much to the brothers’ chagrin, as they cut down a demon, three more would sprout from the ground. From another portal, a triangular monster flew into the battlefield. The being had two sets of wings, one set consistent with its white body, and another set that resembled the steel of a fighter jet. . When the flying machine came to a stop, the brothers went back to back, Vergil warning, “Don’t you dare say it.”

Dante smiled broadly, “Jackpot!” firing his two twin guns at the machine, the bullets impacting and harmlessly bouncing off the creature.

Vergil looked over at his brother with a smirk, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get great enjoyment out of that.”

The wings of the mechanical monster rotated outward revealing a veritable armory of guns, all of which began firing at the two brothers, who ran to take cover from the onslaught behind the remains of the Qliphoth Tree.

“Not the time Vergil!” Dante shouted, weaving around the blasts of energy.

The two brothers dove behind the urethral wood of the once-mighty tree, a single laser blast narrowly missing Dante’s shoulder.

Vergil sneered as the howling laughter of Medusa echoed across the battlefield, “Dante, the only hope we have is if I can make it up to that thing and use the Yamato to cut everything at once.”

Dante’s eyes squinted, “Vergil, that’s 30 feet up, and with all those guns blasting at you, I don’t think you could make it.”

Vergil shot a glance at his brother, ice-cold anger blaring in his eyes, “I have to try.”

Dante shrugged, “Alright, your funeral asshole. You go on my signal though.”

Medusa laughed again, “Oh, you half-breeds, it does not matter when or where you go, the fact of the matter is my Underworld Gatekeeper has you pinned down, and now that all of its weapons have calibrated, it will spell your DOOM!”

As Medusa began to cackle again, a portal opened, and out of it, an angel with black wings dove into the Underworld Gatekeeper feet first, colliding with at its side and leaping off it just as the creature spiraled out of the air and onto the ground, segments flayed out in every direction and unconscious. Following behind him was a brunette, blue-eyed boy in a golden mech and a flawlessly beautiful, green-haired woman in a toga.

“And that is how you beat a boss,” sneered the black-winged one.

“AGH! You three! It’s always you three!” Medusa shrieked at the new interlopers

“Medusa! Why are you here?” called down the toga-wearing woman.

“Simple, you pompous fool!” snarled Medusa, “King Conker revived me with souls, and Hades as well!”

“Hades?” gawked the boy in the mech, “Why are you aligned with him? You helped us kill him, remember?”

“Let’s just say…with as many souls as we’ll get to eat, it was easy to put aside our differences.” Medusa hissed with a smirk

“I believe we’ve heard enough,” said the black-winged one, whipping out what appeared to be a staff of his own pointing it in Medusa’s direction without looking up from the corpse of the Gatekeeper, “Goodbye” he grunted.

Firing an energy bolt from his staff without even so much as a glance in Medusa’s direction, the bolt collided directly with Medusa. The demon screeched in pain, causing several demons that appeared to be bats with flaming bats to fly from nowhere and smother both the mech boy and the toga woman.

“Where did she get Pyrobats?” demanded Vergil.

“And you got on me earlier for that? Puh-leeze!” spat Dante.

The boy sprung from the mech, extending his white angel wings. At this exact moment, Virgil ran forward, running through the crowd of humanoid demons that had spawned earlier. Nonchalantly sheathing the blade, the demons were chopped to bits.

“Awww, but I wanted to give the signal,” Dante whined, still behind their cover from earlier.

Before Vergil could retort, the toga-wearing woman pushed through the bat demons with a loud grunt

“Blackhole!” she commanded

At her word, a blackhole appeared, entrapping the throng of bat demons within it

“MEGA LASER!” she shouted

From seemingly nowhere, a pink laser ripped through the black hole, evaporating not only the bat demons but the mech that the brunette boy had come in.

“Pit,” sighed the green-haired woman like mother lecturing a child, “You can’t keep being so careless with these Cherubots.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but in Pit’s defense, you destroyed the Cherubot with your Mega Laser.”

“No offense meant Lady Palutena” Pit said slowly, “But…Pitoo is right!”

“Don’t call me Pitoo,” spat ‘Pitoo’ “My name is Dark Pit!”

“Look, I hate to break up whatever the hell is going on here, but I think you’ve pissed off this Medusa woman,” shouted Vergil to the trio

Medusa was on her hands and knees, her faces switching between the manufactured form, the now scratched face she had had at the beginning of the encounter to her true form, a horrible, gnarled one-eyed monster face. As she shrieked, more Empusas appeared.

“Vergil! Cut these suckers down! I’m going for the lady!” Dante declared

“Heh, how typical of you,” Vergil said with a grin as he charged into the crowd of demons as he had done before.

“Oooh! I’ll help you out Red Guy,” whooped Pit as he flew down, forming up on Dante.

As Vergil sheathed his blade after running a vertical path through the horde, once again cutting them to size, Dante spread his arms wide, a red burst of light emanating from him. When Dante came back into view, he was completely different, a demonic humanoid in form. Dante readied his sword, holding it like a fencer, and dashing at Medusa, crisscrossing her multiple times with blade slashes imbued with demonic energy. Finally, when Medusa was facing him, staggering from the pain, Dante stabbed her through the stomach.

“Guardiiiiiaaaan Orbitars!” Pit said, as two golden gauntlets appeared from nowhere

The Orbitars connecting with Medusa’s face, and the demonic energy that surged up Dante’s sword propelling her forward impacted the snake-haired woman at the same time. A portal of darkness open behind her, and as soon as she had cleared it, it closed.

The five sat in a bewildered silence for a few seconds before Palutena asked, “Soooo should we get down to business?”  
“Oh?” Vergil asked, rolling his eyes, “And what business is that?”

“Offering you both a gig!” Pit yelled excitedly

“And getting you out of here, don’t forget” groaned Dark Pit.

“There’s a catch isn’t there?” said the brothers together, looking at each other in bewilderment.

“Of a sort,” said Palutena, finally setting down on the ground, “Ever hear of Super Smash Brothers?”

“Can’t say that I have,” said Dante, “But I’d go to Patty Lowell’s birthday party if it meant a ticket out of here.”

“Wait wait wait,” started Virgil, “Is this one of those fighting tournaments?”

“Yeah, it is! We’re also a peacekeeping task force!” chirped Pit.

“We have reason to believe several enemies from your past have joined King Conker’s order, including Urizen, Mundus, and the cult that raised your Nero,” explained Palutena,

“It appears that unfathomable power is before us. If you need our help, we’re in.” Vergil quickly shot.

“ Of course you’d call it unfathomable that considering Urizen is your other half,” smirked Dante, his eyes suddenly widening in realization, “Wait, if it’s a fighting tournament…is Ryu there?” asked the demon hunter.

Palutena tilted her head, while Dark Pit rolled his eyes, “How did you know?” asked the goddess

“Because Ryu’s friggin everywhere. Get us out of here! I can’t wait to see Ryu! I bet Nico and Nero will be happy to see us!”

“Oh, they’ve already received invitations to watch!” Palutena explained with a beaming smile

Suddenly, they could hear loud, error prompt sounding beeps coming from Pit’s wrist device, like the incorrect answer buzzer on a gameshow.

“What in the name of Heaven and Earth are you doing?”

“Trying to enter the code. You know, the one that’ll get us back home?”

“You idiot! You know you can’t read!” yelled Dark Pit.

“You’re just trying to be helpful,” cooed Palutena, “Thank you Pit!”

Dark Pit simply huffed and entered the code himself. All five stepped through the portal into the Smash Mansion. The half-demon brothers stood to reason that the way the sun glared into the windows, it was near sunset. Standing before them were Marth and Sans.

“Ah, Dante and Vergil, sons of Sparda,” began Marth, “I am Marth, Prince of Altea, and Vice President of Super Smash Brothers.”

“Where’s the Prez? Can we meet him?” asked Dante, causing Vergil to roll his eyes.

“Mario’s busy. We’re only a short time away from the big training week, so he’s trying to set up things for opening day.”

“Marth, Medusa was there and said something about souls. Apparently whatever it involves brought her and Hades back together when the former helped us kill the latter.” Palutena explained.

Marth frowned, “Hmmm, that is concerning. I will report it to Mario immediately.”

“Hey, not to interrupt…” Dante began

“Which you are!” snapped Vergil.

“And now you’re interrupting me,” Dante snapped back, “But is there a way I can get, like, a pizza or something?”

“Yeah,” said Sans, “Although I know our McDonalds affiliate is already set up though. People don’t like to go there because it always smells like farts,” explained the skeleton turning his head and winking to no one in particular.

“What was…?” Vergil asked, utterly befuddled

“Sans just does that occasionally,” Marth explained with a sigh, “Look, Vergil, you’re rooming with Dark Pit. Dante, you’re rooming with a fellow named Wolf. He’s not going to be around until late or until morning, so you’ll have the room to yourself for the time being.”

“Pizza in bed!” cheered Dante.

“Idiot,” muttered Vergil.

“Hey man, that sounds pretty sweet. I might join you once we drop off NoFun McLamepants over here.” Sans said, gesturing to Vergil.

“So you’re telling me you want me to eat pizza with you, in bed?” asked a surprise Dante,

“Hey, it’s not a sex thing. I have a girlfriend.” Sans explained.

“Non-intimate, in bed pizza-eating sesh with a skeleton? This party’s getting crazy, let’s rock!”

“Hell yeah man. Let’s go get you to your room.” Sans said, gesturing to the grand staircase.

As the three walked briskly up the steps, Pit moaned, “He had to mention pizza! Now I have a craving!”

Palutena put her hand on her chin in thought, “Now that you mention it, pizza does sound good? Wanna join us Dark Pit?”

“Nah, I’ve got some poetry to finish writing in my room” scowled Dark Pit, heading up the stairs as Dante, Vergil, and Sans disappeared behind the double doors

“Eh, your loss Pitoo! C’mon Lady Palutena, my treat!”

“Don’t call me that!” the angel clone spat, “ Vergil probably appreciates fine literature anyway!”

Pit and Palutena shared a giggle, walking towards the kitchen. Just as the two celestial beings disappeared from sight, Marth’s watch pinged. A message had been left for the administrative team group chat.  
  
 **Mario: Wolf, Fox, and Falco are already setting up their recruiting job. Shulk, you’re up for one, head to Conference Room A, Zelda, Altair, and the Ice Climbers are needed for the last three and I want them all done tonight.**

**Sans: Not it. Got a bro date tonight.**

**Mario: O_O**

**Sans: Yes! I got an emoji out of you**

**Otis: uwu, you have your date tonight Sans, Me n’ Mikey will take care of Zelda  
ROB: I will brief Altair**

**Marth: I guess that leaves me with The Climbers  
Shulk: I was already in the neighborhood. The guy in the bathrobe is it?  
Mario: Great! Yep Shulk, that’s him.  
Shulk: I’ll head out first.**

**Mario: Awesome. You guys are superstars! I’ll send out the notice tomorrow morning. Break for the weekend, and then physics week starts.**

**Sans: Wait, this place has no days of the week right? So how do you know it’s the weekend?  
Mario: I’m the boss, it’s the weekend when I say it’s the weekend. Everyone’s dismissed. I’ll be available in my room if anyone needs anything. **

Marth grinned as everyone logged off. Conference Room B was seldom used because it was a side room of the dining hall, but as it was dinner time, it would be nice and convenient for pulling someone away from their dinner….but not before he got a bite first!


	27. Origins: Krystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Star Fox and Star Wolf teams are together for a joint mission. Confrontation, betrayal, and introspection abounds as they look to recruit the next Smasher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so we’re clear on the chain of the canon for this. Zero>Adventures>Assault>” Star Wolf Returns” ending of Command

**Origins: Krystal**

**The Great Fox 2, outside of Kew airspace, Bridge**

Just outside the rainy, lawless planet of Kew, the three remaining members of Star Fox and the whole of the Star Wolf team had gathered for a summit. And to begin this summit they…waited for a phone call to connect.

“Who are you friggin calling?” demanded Falco

Fox rolled his eyes, “Dude, it’s rang like four times, shut up.”

“I know from personal experience, holo-phone calls on Kew have abysmal connections.” Interjected the rose obsessed Panther Caruso of Star Wolf

“An’ how would you know that buddy? Dated a few women on Kew?”

Panther’s forehead wrinkled, “Yes, how did you know?”

Falco gagged, “Good grief,” said the avian, “Go get checked out.”

Panther hung his head, “Panther is quite familiar with that process as well.”

“If you don’t quit your yammering” interjected Leon Polwalski, Wolf’s right hand, “I’ll skin you all alive.”

“Leon, simmer,” Wolf commanded with a snap of his claw, “We’re going into Kew with somebody who’s pissed off at all of us. Might not be the wisest thing to do to piss off the backup.”

As Leon gave an annoyed grunt, slumping against the wall, the call connected. A brown-furred humanoid minx and a white-furred cocker spaniel appeared on the screen. The minx was dressed in a leather jacket and had aviator sunglasses rested upon her head, whereas the spaniel was wearing a frilly, fashionable jacket, with a bow rested atop her head.

Slippy’s eyes lit up, “Miyu! Fay! How’ve you been?”

“Great!” eagerly squeaked the dog, Fay, “Miyu and I got married!”

“Oh my gosh guys congratulations,” Fox said, “Sorry we couldn’t be there.”

“No prob man,” chided the significantly gruffer Miyu, “Kew really isn’t the place for partying anyway. Plus, I doubt the marriage would hold up in a Lylatian court.”

Slippy’s forehead scrunched up, “Wait, I thought gay marriage was legal in Lylat.”

Wolf groaned, “No you idiot, because it’s on Kew.”

“Wait a minute,” demanded Falco, “Why are you two on Kew? Weren’tcha Academy instructors? Ain’t that why you turned down our request to fly with Star Fox, which is why we had to get the old man and the frog?”

“Well,” Fay said, rubbing the back of her head, “That’s kind of hard to do when the Flight Academy and your house gets wrecked by the Aparoid invasion.”

“Oh yeah…” Slippy whispered, his head hung.

“You still didn’t answer my question!” squawked Falco.

“Because I paid for them to be,” Fox explained.

“How? You lost half the Aparoid Invasion payday to investments. It’s why the team split up in the first place,” shouted Falco.

“Or…so you thought.”  
“What do you mean Fox?” pleaded Slippy, his eyes full of dread and sadness.

“That was the cover. The half of the Aparoid pay actually went to them.”

Leon’s eyes suddenly gleamed with understanding, and he was now cackling in the back of the room, “Oh my Creator, you didn’t.”

“What’s with you lizard breath?” snapped Falco.

“What has been McCloud been chasing like a dumb puppy for the last half-decade?” Leon hissed.

“Krystal.” whispered Falco, his eyes now full of understanding…and rage, “Fox, tell me he’s just got a screw loose and he’s lyin.”

“Well, he’s right.”

“WHAT? WHY?” shouted Slippy

“You know Krystal and I’s relationship hit a bit of a snag after The Aparoid Invasion. I anticipated her leaving me, and so I…”

“You paid Miyu and Fay to follow her?” Wolf snarled in disgust.

“Please understand,” Leon began, “That I say this as someone that has tortured and killed multiple people, that’s disgusting behavior McCloud.”

“You don’t have to rub it in! Krystal is foreign to our galaxy, and someone who’s known only us and Star Wolf, who I don’t exactly trust to keep a loved one safe.”

“I’ll remember that the next time you need a ride on my Wolfen’s wing, chump,” Wolf growled, flipping him the middle claw without looking at him.

“So…dubious legality aside, you paid our friends to stalk your ex-girlfriend and then what?” prodded Slippy.

“After the Anglar Invasion, I heard through the grapevine that a blue fox named Kursed was looking for passage into Kew. That obviously alarmed me…” Fox began but was cut off by Miyu.

“And so we went deep undercover,” Miyu shrugged nonchalantly, “We approached her, told her about our experience in the military, and we formed a team with her. We’re The Kursed Klaws.”

“She’s _still_ going by Kursed?” guffawed Panther, “I had heard about thia through the grapevine as well, a staff-wielding dominatrix making ruffians’ lives hell on Kew, and was so deeply hurt she was going by such an ugly name.”

“What hurts even more is that you ‘an Fox talk to the same people about this crap.”

“Enough,” barked Fox, “What’s the lie we’re going with girls?” he asked his counterparts on Kew.

“We talked it over with the boss. We explained a mercenary unit was interested in cooperating with us for a mission, but they requested not to reveal names until we all met.”

“Good,” Fox said with a nod, “You guys are off the beat after this.”

“I mean, obviously. But Seriously Fox, thank you. Weird nature of the whole thing aside, you put food on me and Fay’s table when we were homeless, and you protected a friend. I’ll always remember that” Miyu said.

“Coordinates will be sent to you after this phone call. See you all soon!” said Fay, with a playful salute.

As the Kewian coordinates appeared on screen, Falco said: “Remind me to kick your ass during Physics Week McCloud I knew you had a bit of scum in ya, but I need to vent my frustration about the stalker crap you pulled.”

“I second that,” growled Wolf, which such venom that even Leon and Panther flinched.

“Heh, the Kursed Claws. Do ya think King K. Rool would like that name?”

“Not the time or the place Slippy,” Fox growled

As the frog hung his head in a childlike shame, Fox said, “And Falco, I’ll take that Physics Week beating as long as it doesn’t get in the way of the mission,”

As Wolf had done earlier, Falco flipped Fox the middle talon in response.

“What a fool, willingly taking lumps like he’s a street gang urchin,” Panther said, disgust in his voice.

“Altruism begets idiocy,” shrugged Leon.

“We’re needed on Kew,” Fox suddenly snapped, “ROB, take us down.”.

“Affirmative,” barked the robot.

In a flash, _Great Fox II_ had broken Kewian airspace, and immediately became pelted by rain. The flagship headed for Kew’s sole spaceport, which served as the demilitarized zone between Kew’s wealthy Upper District, and dirt poor Lower District. The ship touched down, and the makeshift sestet stepped out onto a chromatic floor, which Fox noticed was eerily clean despite the hustle and bustle, no doubt tracking in the consequences of perpetual rainfall. From the back of the line, Leon hissed at them, “These are my people, let me take the lead.” After waiting in a customs line that seemingly took an eternity, a fat looking humanoid, who appeared to have the body of a man, but the head and features of a snake, was the man at the counter,

“Name?”

“Leon Polwalski.”

The desk agent’s yellowed eyes went wide, “THAT Leon Polwalski?”

Leon grinned impishly, which sent shivers up Fox’s spine, “Yes, I have assembled a crew of Lylatians to claim the bounty on the Kursed Klaws.”

The desk agent matched Leon’s evil grin, “If you do, you’ll be no doubt be a national hero in The Lower District.”

“I look forward to it.”

The desk agent waved the entire group through, Fox jogged to keep pace with Leon, whispering, “Krystal has a bounty on her?”

“Welcome to Lower Kew junior, half the population does.’ Leon shrugged.

“Why would we be heroes if we take out Kursed Claws?” Slippy asked from behind Fox.

Again, the chameleon shrugged, “Don’t know. Maybe she’s actually trying to fight on the side of right here? Foolish woman.”

Fox growled under his breath as they came through the automatic doors that emptied into The Lower District. The first thing Fox noticed was the ramshackle buildings. The second was the shoulder to shoulder crowds as they melded into the mass of humanity . As they cut through the rainy city, Fox saw more street gamblers and women of the night than he had in even the lousiest Cornerian neighborhood. At about the midpoint of their journey they saw a tentacle fight between two gruff-looking Takorians. Fox blinked, surprised to see them at first, before remembering that Kew was technically the bridge between Lylat and Captain Falcon’s Milky Way galaxy, as he had seen on a trip there, to both confront his double life living father James, and save a wealthy merchant’s infant daughter from the clutches of Black Shadow.

_If only Kew wasn’t such a lawless piece of junk, then our galaxies’ relationship wouldn’t be so strained_ Fox thought, observing more gamblers, gun dealers, and provocatively dressed women looking to sell their services as he walked. Suddenly, Leon stopped.

“According to your friends’ coordinates, their building is here,” hissed Leon pointing to his left

Fox had to squint through the rain-induced fog to see it, an innocuous, yet pristine-looking metal buildings amidst a series of rotting wooden cabins. The group cut through the crowd, Leon knocking on the building’s door. A sliding mechanism on the door slid back, revealing the crystal-blue eyes of Fay. The door opened, and Fay gestured them in, “Right this way gentlemen,” said the spaniel.

Sitting at the table in the lone room of the hideout, were Miyu and Krystal. When the metal door they had come in slammed shut after everyone had ambled in, Krystal looked up, locking eyes with Fox.

“You,” growled Krystal,

Fox sighed, “Listen, I’m not here to rehash old shit. This is business.”

Panther interjected next, “McCloud speaks true my darling.”

“I don’t want to hear a word of your mouth Caruso. When we basically won the damn Anglar Invasion by ourselves, and I’d cry to you about being mocked in public by the ungrateful schlubs we saved, what did you do? Sure, you took me on nice dates, bought me nice clothes, and pleased me in the bedroom, but we never talked. You never addressed my feelings. All I had were your vain thoughts and memories of the girls you cheated on me with for company.”

“You cheated on a girl who can literally read your mind. You friggin idiot,” Falco chided.

Krystal chuckled. But it wasn’t a chuckle of humor, it was one of disgust.

“Oh, Lombardi, I missed you, constantly talking down to everyone, deflecting your insecurities with humor. Maybe you can make laugh one more time before we take you out.”

Miyu and Fay stood by Krystal’s side, Krystal unsheathed a small, linear object from a holster on her back. She pressed a button on its side, unsheathing a black version of her Cernian staff, crackling with blue energy.

“Your thoughts are of surprise. Do you seriously not think Cernians would know how to build one of these with foreign materials?”

“Just thought we woulda seen it is all,” Falco shrugged.

“For once, you’re right in your usual sarcastic drivel. Lylatian weapons always did the job, and building it was a good way to distract myself between missions. I did savor a chance to use it. The feeling of connecting with another person’s body with a bludgeoning weapon is something you Lylatians wouldn’t understand. But you’ll understand, as I’m sure you’ll feel my joy as I shut your obnoxious beak once and for all Fal- …”

Suddenly, her face went blank. Fox had seen the look many times. She only really looked like that when a telepathic thought hit her when she hadn’t invited it.

Fox shot a look to Panther who looked deathly worried, “Do you think...”

“Oh no,” was all Panther had to say.

Almost as soon as it happened, her blank, shocked look transformed into one of pure rage, teeth gnashing against one another. Before anyone in the group could blink, she jumped in the air, twisting her body to kick Fay right in the face.

“FAY!” cried Miyu.

She ran at Krystal, but a simple palm thrust to Miyu’s stomach was enough to send her on all fours. She delivered an ax kick to Miyu’s neck.

“HE PAID YOU???” screamed the blue fox, pushing her foot into Miyu’s head whenever she tried to move, “I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS!”

“Krystal, that’s enough!” pleaded Panther.

She readied her staff, blasting an ice blast at the unready Panther Caruso, freezing him solid.

Without so much as a word, Leon went to all fours, scampering across the wall, moving horizontally as a lizard does. This seemed to catch Krystal slightly off guard. Wolf saw his chance and leaped into a Wolf Flash. However, Krystal grabbed him by the throat as soon as he was within range, throwing him into Leon who was mid-jump. Both Star Wolf members head cracked against each other hard, and with the floor slightly less so. Falco charged next, throwing a winged punch. Krystal blocked it, grabbing his wing, twisting it, breaking it over her shoulder, and judo tossing him to the ground, slapping him a few times. When Falco lay prone, she grabbed him by the leg, dragging him to the pile with Leon and Wolf, charging up an ice blast shot, only to be interrupted by a flying kick from Fox.

Krystal wiped a smidge of blood from the newly formed cut on her cheek, “Look at you! You finally grew a pair. I thought you’d just stand and watch me turn your friends into ice sculptures, just like you watched me walk away when I didn’t want to be your damsel.”

“That’s not what this...”.

“I’ve never met a man dumber than you,” Krystal spat, “I cut a path of bodies teaming up with you all, I’ve cut a path of bodies through Kew. Do I have to cut through you too? Will that make you understan-?”

Fox threw a kick, but Krystal caught it, driving Fox into the wall. His head made a mighty “clang” with the wall. He was limp, knocked out.

_That isn’t enough. It’ll never be enough. He can’t understand. I’ll make him understand._

Krystal unloaded with punches. Krystal felt a smile creeping on as she broke bone. Punching his stupid white knight face was oddly therapeutic.

Suddenly, she heard sobs, which jolted her back to reality. 

It was Slippy. In the fray, she had forgotten he was there. The frog was on his knees, back against the wall. Tears were running down his face, and his hands were clasped, “Krystal, please. No more. Fox is my brother, and you were like a sister-in-law to me. I knew things were bad, but I never wanted it to be like this. Please, Krystal, stop.”

Krystal’s face suddenly softened, “Oh Slippy, what did McCloud say to you to trick you into this?”

“This was meant to be a Smash Bros invitation!”

Krystal let out a gasp of shock, “They want me?”

Slippy sniffled, the tears stopping. Y-yeah!”

Suddenly, Krystal frowned, “It’s a shame then, that you all have already betrayed my trust.”

Firing an ice blast, Slippy Toad was caught mid-scream as he was frozen.

Krystal surveyed the room, thinking about what to do. Fay was from a wealthy family, so her parents would gladly pay a ransom, and she could probably pressure her into asking for more to free her wife. Wolf, Leon, Panther, and Falco probably had bounties on them, so she could turn them in. Slippy’s father was a powerful political appointee, but in reality, she liked The Toads the most out of her present victims, so causing them any sufferage was out of the question.

“Sorry my old friend,” she said, stroking the cheek of the frozen Slippy lovingly, “But you all are my ticket out of here.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Fox’s. An evil grin crept to her face.

“You’re too clean to have any bounties on you, and, while I like Peppy, he’s enabled your do-gooder attitude, he needs a wake up call too.”

Krystal stepped back pointing the staff at Fox, setting up a fire blast. The glowing gem of the staff caught fire, awaiting her release.

“And what better way to go about that, then roasting the prodigal son over an open fire.”

Just as she fired the blast, a small object flew in between Fox and the approaching ball of flame. The object erupted into a blue diamond of energy. Before Krystal could even process what the object, specifically a Reflector, was, her blast blew up in front of her. The blast sent her flying backward, through the table, knocking her unconscious.

“Heh,” laughed Falco, pushing Leon’s body off of his to stand up, “Saved your ass again McCloud.”

He pressed a button on his Smash wristwatch, “Somebody, anybody. We need…” he stopped to count, “Eight medical evacs. I think I’m concussed too.”

Falco projectile vomited onto the floor, “Yeah, definitely concussed, “Get yo…get yo…”

And Falco passed out as well.

**Doctor Mario’s infirmary**

Krystal awoke, her nose immediately wrinkling. The overwhelming smell of sanitation meant one thing, hospital. Krystal’s eyes darted around the room. Judging by the stories Fox had regaled her with, the man in the doctor’s costume, knelt on her left, was Doctor Mario. Fox himself was on the right side of the room, reading a magazine, one with them on the cover.

“What? Where am I?” weakly moaned Krystal.

“My infirmary. I’m...”

“Doctor Mario, I know,”

“Well, then you probably know you’re in the Smash dimension.”

“I do,” Krystal whispered.

“Ah, you’re awake,” Fox began, “I was reading the tabloid published after our breakup. Did you know Panther leaked the story?”

“That was my idea. I knew it’d drive you crazy if Panther got quoted.”

Fox growled, “It did.’

“I’m glad.”

“That aside,” Fox continued, “Like the good doctor said, you’re in the Smash dimension, and we want you to be a Smasher. You’ll be in the tournament.”

“Do you think I’d trust anyone, much less your band, after what happened on Kew?”

Fox cockily smirked. Krystal felt her heart skip. What was once associated with the moments she felt most attracted to Fox, now was insufferable and, if she had had more agency at the moment, would’ve been punishable by five across the jaw.

“I understand, but...”

“No you don’t. You understand nothing,” Krystal spat.

“Wow, what are you, five years old?” Fox shot back.

“Not a master communicator are we?” Doctor Mario grumbled, not looking away from Krystal’s medical charts.

Fox blushed. Krystal suppressed a spiteful laugh,

“ Regardless of anything that’s happened between us, these are your options,” McCloud continued, “You can either accept the invite, and we’ll work to clear your name, maybe even set you up in the Milky Way Galaxy, and you’ll never hear from me again. You decline, however, and we either dump you in Kew to get dogged on by the rest of the population, or you go to jail in Lylat for Star Wolf’s shit. That decision’s has been left up to me if you go that route.”

“I accept to be one of the Smashers.”

“Are you sure?” chided Fox, “ I think you’d be the queen of the prison, judging how you kicked all our asses.”

“I said I accept, you idiot! The only reason why is so that I can kick your ass, kick Falco’s ass, and kick Wolf’s ass, all without having to go to jail.”

Fox shrugged, “Fair enough,” he said, standing up, folding the magazine under his arm ready to leave.

“How are the others?” Krystal whispered.

Fox paused mid-step. The abrupt shift in tone was jarring. Did she hate him that much, that she’d hurt anyone near him to get to him. What was this all about?

Without turning to look at her, Fox gave her the details,“ Wolf got out pretty quick, Falco did too. Turns out that Doctor Mario’s pills even reset broken bones. Slippy, Panther, and the others got out pretty quickly too, but they’re at a hotel that we can’t visit until after Opening Day. You can apologize to them then. You can apologize to _us_ in the ring.”

“When will that be Doctor?” Krystal asked.

“You’ll be here for two days. You'll get out just as training begins.” Doctor Mario explained.

Fox wordlessly walked out of the infirmary, where he was met by Mario, his arms crossed. Mario waited to speak until the door closed, his blue eyes glaring holes into McCloud for what felt like an eternity, "Why do you Cornerians always cause the drama?"

“I don’t know.”

Mario frowned, “Is Krystal someone we’re gonna put in the evil category?”

“No,” Fox shook his head, “She hesitated when she could’ve killed all of us, especially Slippy. She’s been hurt…by all of us, and we have to earn her trust again.”

“I hope that you will, for your a-sake,” Mario warned,

As Mario spun on his heel to leave, Fox blurted, “Do you think she’s a problem?”

“If you want-a the truth I think-a you are.”

Instinctually, McCloud bared his fangs, “The hell do you mean by that?”

Mario turned back around, his expression soft and empathetic, “Look, I’m not a-gonna pretend to understand what it’s like to lose familia. I am a-gonna say that if you want Krystal in your life, there are emotional burdens, even something as abstract as the possibility of death, that you have to tackle together, otherwise you end up protecting someone when they don’t need it.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Mario tensed, but settled back into neutral as soon as it had come, “Low, but understandable. But it’s something she and I…”

Fox stomped his foot in anger, “So, you have the audacity to compare what I’m going through with whatever weird cuckoid games you, Bowser and Peach play?”

“It’s more therapy for him but…” Mario started, shaking his head, “ I’m just tryna help. Think about what I said at least. Maybe Luigi’s better for this than I. Anyway…dismissed.”

Mario’s fist clenched as he pivoted stomping away. Fox waited for Mario’s clattering stride to go out of ear shot before he exited the medical wing truly, ascending up the stairs to the main lobby. That’s where the anxiety of the situation hit him. He sighed, hanging his head . He’d have a lot to think about.


	28. Origins: Subject Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the conclusion of Katana Zero, the man known as Subject Zero is at a loss. His ward Elizabeth has been abducted by the mysterious masked men Comedy and Tragedy. Luckily, Shulk and the Smashers step in to help.

**Origins: Subject Zero**

**Smash Mansion: Portal Room**

When Shulk walked into the Portal Room, he noticed an Alloy, one of the Kirby-shaped attendants, waiting for him, holding a lanyard with five keycards attached to it,

“Your recruit will need these,” droned the Alloy, “We’ve got the place you need to go pre-loaded into the portal generator, also the location of the girl he’s taken in as his ward, who is currently kidnapped. Your recruit will likely want to resolve that business before returning here.”

“Ah yes, the little girl. I read the dossier,” grimly remarked Shulk, “Alright, fire ‘er up!” he said, his voice now suddenly full of vigor.

The Alloy stood frozen as the computer that controlled the Portal Room flared to life, seemingly imputing commands on its own before the portal fired to life. Wordlessly taking the lanyard from the Alloy, Shulk stepped through.

**The Third District**

His heart beats at a million miles an hour. His face is cold with sweat, dry with tears. His teeth are grit against one another. Through the polluted, heavy air of the slums, from which he runs, the government building on the edge of town being his only reprieve. His ears perk up at the slightest wale of a police siren, but he wonders if the police will even touch him, especially after the incident in Chinatown. He slows time, blinking in and out of his neon other world to bolt past lumbering pedestrians and to quickly skitter across a nearby street. Another block, then another. Running, running, ducking in and out of allies. He knows he can’t go through the front door, so he dashes along the grimy, disgusting backs of buildings, hoping the government’s card keys were universal as he slowed his pace, jumping up a fire escape. He swipes the card key. The machine that reads the card beeps a merry beep, and he can open the door! He steps into the room, a sterile, blank, metallic room. Lining the wall to his left were several compartment doors, all guarded by a keycard. On the opposite side of the wall from him, another door, exiting the room but leading deeper into the building. He tried the first compartment door, **“ACCESS DENIED,”** blared the machine.

Another compartment door.

**“ACCESS DENIED”  
**Another.

**“ACCESS DENIED”**

Another.

“ **ACCESS DENIED”**

Another.

**“ACCESS DENIED”**

The final compartment door.

**“ACCESS DENIED”**

Growling, he strides to the door to the next room. Surely this must work?

**“ACCESS DENIED”**

Slamming the door, he breaks into silent sobs,

“Elizabeth, damn it!” he cries, sinking to his knees.

Punching the door. That’s all he could do. Pretend that they were the bastards who took Elizabeth, the neighbor girl that had enriched his life so, giving a killer a window into innocence, and hope for a miracle.

A portal opens and out steps a blond man in a red vest, black pants, and sneakers, carrying an oddly mechanical sword on the hilt on his back. In his hand, he idly swings a lanyard full of keycards. The portal closes, and the man speaks to him.

“Subject Zero?”

Subject Zero shots a glance over his shoulder, “What’s it to you?” he growled,

“My name’s Shulk, and I’ve got a job for ya!”

“Oh?” sneered Subject Zero, “What kind of job?”

“First of all,” Shulk began, flashing the lanyard to Subject Zero, “Help me figure out what these do,” said Shulk, throwing the lanyard to Subject Zero.

Subject Zero caught the lanyard, opening each of the five keys. They were all connected to the compartment doors, of course. But each door contained a sword, swords unlike those he had ever seen before.

“Ah,” Shulk said, “You might want to take all of those.”

Subject Zero raised an eyebrow, “Take them where?” 

“To get the little girl back!” Shulk declared

“Elizabeth,” growled Subject Zero, “Her name is Elizabeth”

Shulk nodded. Subject Zero immediately tensed as Shulk spoke into a gaudy red digital watch he was wearing on his wrist, “Shulk to Control, send us to the second location. I repeat, Shulk to Control we’re ready to go to the second location.”

Another portal opened. As Shulk went to step into it, Subject Zero cleared his throat, causing Shulk to pause.

“We can’t go in guns blazing. The people I’ve been dealing with lately have either been expert marksmen or experts at hand to hand combat. One screw-up, and we’re both dead,” explained Subject Zero

Shulk simply nodded, and the two entered the portal simultaneously. The room was dark, the roof low hanging. The only source of light was a single hanging lamp on the other side of the room. As the two approached closer, they could see in the center of the light, a red-clad little girl with raven hair. Shulk reasoned this was Elizabeth. On either side of her were two men in masks, one in a golden mask representing the Greek symbol for comedy, the other with a silver mask, baring the Greek symbol for tragedy. Subject Zero went to strike, but Shulk held out a hand, “Wait,” he whispered.

In a vision clouded by an ethereal blue, Shulk saw Subject Zero leap forward, only for the golden-masked one to pull out a gun and shoot him in the heart.

“The golden masked one has a gun,” whispered Shulk

Subject Zero nodded, pointing two fingers at the one in the golden mask, tapping Shulk on the shoulder, and pointed to the one in the silver mask. Shulk instantly understood, scooting over to the other side of the light so that he was facing the man in the silver mask directly. After a moment’s pause, Subject Zero jumped up, Shulk following his lead. As predicted, the golden masked man shot at Subject Zero, but, faster than his eyes could process it, Subject Zero deflected the bullet with a swipe of his sword. At the same time, Shulk landed a Manado slice directly through the silver counterpart’s shoulder. Both men were down.

“Ah, it seems as though the plot thickens Comedy?” said the silver masked man.

“Indeed Tragedy,” shouted Comedy, “But no matter! A divergence in the plot will not deter us! Until we meet again, O’ Wayward Heart.”

Suddenly, the lamp flickered off. A second later, a light that lit the entire room powered on, with Tragedy and Comedy nowhere in sight, but Elizabeth stood under the lamp completely unharmed.

Immediately, Subject Zero engulfed Elizabeth in a hug,

“Zero. You came,” Elizabeth said through sobs.

“Yes,” said Subject Zero, “And I’ll never leave again.”

Shulk felt a warm smile overcome him. What he wouldn’t have paid for someone to swoop in and save Fiora when he thought her dead.

“Now that that’s sorted,” Shulk said, “I need you to do something for me.”

“I owe you my gratitude, I think we both do. Elizabeth, say thank you to Mister Shulk,”

“Thank you for helping Zero save me Mister Shulk,” chirped Elizabeth

“So you’ll participate in a tournament with me? We also double as a peacekeeping task force, which gives you an excuse to fight the folks that’ve been givin’ ya trouble,” Shulk said with a smile.

“Yes. I owe you that much.”

Without a word, Shulk punched in a code to his communicator, and a portal opened up. The two stepped through it, Subject Zero holding Elizabeth in his arms. As the two walked, Shulk was thumbing through another application on his device.

“So it looks like you and Elizabeth’s new roommate will be…” Shulk paused, his smile turning into a worried frown, “Oh no.”

“What?”

“YOUNG MAN!” screeched a hoarse voice from across the lobby, “YOU SHOW UP HERE IN A BATHROBE! HOW INDECENT OF YOU! HOW MANY POWERUPS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR CABINET AT HOME YOUNG MAN!?” 

As Subject Zero came to his senses, he saw a paper-thin, black humanoid ambling across the lobby at him.

“MISTER SHULK, IT’S LIKE I’M SAYING, THE MORE POLYGONS THE HEROES HAVE TODAY, THE MORE CORRUPT THE YOUTH GET,” screamed the two-dimensional man.

“Game and Watch, please do mind your volume, there’s a little girl here.” Shulk scolded him

Game and Watch ambled closer, seeing Elizabeth, now cowering into Subject Zero’s arms. Immediately, Game and Watch’s tone softened, “Oh, hello young lady, what’s your name?”

“E-Elizabeth,” Elizabeth responded in a shaky voice,

“Well, I’m Mister Game and Watch. Are you staying in school and eating your vegetables?”

“Y-yeah. Zero eats vegetables all the time.” Elizabeth said, a little less afraid now, “And I do like to read.”

“What a good young lady!” Game and Watch said with pride, “And you’re this young lady’s father figure, judging by the way she clings to you?”

“In a sense yes, that’s me. I’m Subject Zero.”

“Subject Zero…Subject Zero…hmmmm,” Game and Watch pondered, mulling over the name, “Ah! We’re roommates, aren’t we? Come, let me show you the suite.”

Game and Watch led Subject Zero and Elizabeth up the stairs. As Shulk was observing the scene, Link appeared next to him, a fish sandwich in hand, “Holy shit, did you calm Mr. Game and Watch down?”

“I think you’ll have to thank Elizabeth for that,” Shulk said with a smirk.

“I’ll be damned,” said Link, “Dreams really do come true.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know that in Katana Zero, Comedy and Tragedy are rumored not to exist, same with The Little Girl, who I’m calling Elizabeth because that was her name in the alpha build and I’m not calling her “The Little Girl” all fic, but I like the characters/plot so much I’m going to avoid as much hallucinogenic stuff as I can with Subject Zero.


	29. Origins: Ryu Hayabusa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda does New York in order to recruit the world's most famous spy/ninja.

**Origins: Ryu Hayabusa**

**Smash Mansion, Dining Hall**

Zelda, Peach, and Daisy were walking through the dining hall, each carrying a meat and vegetable platter, discussing the affairs of their kingdoms when they passed Marth’s table. Marth, who was sitting by himself, suddenly stood up seeing the trios pass by, stepping in front of them.

“I hate to interrupt this conversation ladies,” said Marth, “But may I borrow Princess Zelda for a moment? She’s needed for a recruiting job.”

“Oooh!” said Peach, an interested grin on her face, “Best of luck to you darling!” she called

“Knock ‘em dead dude! Oh, we’ll save your platter for ya!” said Daisy, scooping her own plate underneath Zelda’s, jarring it from her as the two other princesses about-faced and walked the other direction.

“So, who’s this recruit?” Zelda asked, hands on her hips in anticipation.

Marth directed a sweeping gesture towards Conference Room B, “In here,” he said simply, heading for the room.

Opening the door, a dossier was already on the table in the blank conference room. Zelda opened it, revealing a ninja in blue garb. Immediately, she smiled wide, “So this is a ninja-on-ninja situation Your Highness?” she asked with a wink.

“Not necessarily Your Highness,” Marth said, returning the wink, “We don’t anticipate you having to fight him. Just let him know that we might need his demon expertise.”

Zelda nodded, “Okay! Simple enough!”

Marth nodded back, “Quick study as per usual Princess. The Portal Room is ready to go when you are.”

Zelda curtsied, with a bright smile on her face, “I’ll depart as soon as possible! Thank you, Marth!” she said, leaving the room.

Stopping first to touch base with The Link Trio, who had sat together as per usual, about her activities tonight, she headed for the Portal Room.

**New York City, New York, 1991**

Zelda stepped out of the portal into an alleyway, Immediately, her nose wrinkled at the smell, “Hm, if this is what the industrial revolution brings, count me out,” she muttered to herself.

Upon exiting the alley, Zelda used Nayru’s Wind to cross a busy intersection. According to the files included in the dossier, she had three city blocks to go before she got to the place she needed to be. She noticed as she walked, that there were two types of people, people ogling the skyscrapers, and those looking straight ahead, aggressively brushing aside the ogglers. Zelda looked straight ahead, but was polite, issuing “pardon me”’s and “excuse me’s” to each person she bumped, not an easy task seeing how many people were condensed into this small area. And what’s worse, some even snickered with laughter as she apologized for bumping into them!

_The nerve of them!_ Zelda thought, _At least my people are more polite than this._

After what seemed like an eternity, a shop caught her eye.

**Ryu’s Japanese Shop**

_Ah! According to the dossier, this is the place!_ Hyrule’s princess thought.

Pushing against the crowd, more aggressively this time, she opened the door to the shop. A bell dinged, and two at the checkout counter looked towards her. One was a muscular woman with a blond, pixie haircut, wearing a black tanktop . The other, a man, with handsome features and finely combed brown hair, wore a neatly pressed white button-up shirt .

“How can we help you?” said the woman,

Zelda looked around. Lining the walls and shelves were ancient-looking masks and weapons, probably associated with Japanese culture. Zelda bit her lip. The thought briefly came to mind to express interest in buying something, just for the sake of a good open, but in truth, nothing in the shop interested her,

“Are you Ryu Hayabusa sir?” Zelda asked the man.

“Yes, how may I help you, young lady?” Hayabusa asked as the woman put a stick of bubble gum in her mouth,

“My name is Zelda, and I represent a fighting tournament called the…”

“Listen,” interjected the woman in between obnoxious chomps of her gum, “I don’t know how you found out about Ryu, but he isn’t some LARPer, okay?”

“Irene, please don’t be rude to our guest…” Ryu began, but Irene cut him off.

“Ever since we opened up this place, it’s been nothing but LARPers and fat sweaty guys looking for anime tapes…and…what do they call ‘em? Ya know those kids that wear all black and listen to The Cure?”

“Goths?” offered Hayabusa.

“YEAH! It’s clear you’re some goth punk from Manhattan on daddy’s money, Well, we ain’t interested in that, so you need to leave.”

“Please!”, Zelda pleaded, “I…”

Suddenly, the bell rang again. Three tan-skinned men walked up to the counter. They were identically dressed, in leather jackets with popped collars, jeans, and spotless sneakers, but while the two bigger men sported short black hair, the short one had hair so inexplicably greased that Zelda could see the light reflect off of it.

“James, what do you want?” Irene asked, venom in her voice,

“Ey Johnny, you see how this lady talks to payin’ customers? Real bad customer service if you ask me,” shouted the small one.

“Yeah James, really sorry stuff,” agreed one of the bigger men, the one on James’ right.

“Except you never have bought anything…” Hayabusa began,

“Oh, like anyone else has?” James interjected.

“And,” Ryu continued, matching Irene’s venom from earlier, “Every time you have come here, you’ve been informing us to pay for protection, which I have said, time and time again, we do not need.”

“Look, man, I know, I know, but I’m just tryna keep my boss happy. My boss ain’t happy, he takes it out on us, we have to come back and take it out on you Kapeesh?”

“Out. Now,” hissed Irene,

“ _Pisan,_ I’m getting real tired of these friggin…” rambled the other heavy, whipping out a gun and pointing it at Zelda,

Zelda focused, and before everyone’s eyes, she changed into Sheik. She whipped out her chain, cracking the knuckles of the hand that held the gun.

“AGH!” screamed the man, holding his thoroughly broken hand, “SHE BROKE MY FRIGGIN HAND!”

“ Chucky you idiot! You’re the one who pulled on a gun on her!” James shouted

“EY! NOBODY DOES THAT TO MY BRUDDAH!” bellowed Johnny,

He took a running start at Sheik, only for her to hook kick him square in the jaw, knocking him out. James went for a gun of his own, only for Ryu to flick a throwing star at him without turning to look at him, causing it to connect with the small man’s shoulder.

“AGH! FUCK!” he screamed, bolting out of the store, with Chucky offering a shoulder to a woozy Johnny as they ambled out.

“Huh,” Irene said, “Didn’t even have to get my gun out, you ain’t so bad after all.”

“But…you transformed…” Ryu said, now able to let his shock show.

“Yes, and I’m aware that you have experience with similar elements of the fantastic?” asked Zelda, now in her deeper Sheik voice,

“Yes. And I’m assuming in addition to this tournament you speak of, you need my skills for something else as well?”

Sheik nodded, “I’m going to open a portal to another dimension and you need to come with me.”

Ryu nodded, but Irene spoke up, “Hey! What about…?”

“Oh, your invitation to be a member of the audience will come in a week or so,” said Sheik.

Sheik pressed a button code into her wristwatch, and the portal open. Irene leaned over and pecked Ryu on the cheek, “Knock ‘em dead babe.”

Ryu nodded, following the princess turned ninja into the portal. Upon exiting, three men in similar green tunics and caps were stood in the foyer of an enormous mansion of which they all now stood. The tallest of the green tunic group hugged Sheik, “How’d your recruitment go?”

“Got the guy,” said Sheik, transforming back into Zelda, “Ryu Hayabusa, meet Link, Link, meet Ryu Hayabusa.”

Link offered a hand, which Ryu shook, “Charmed. I’m a friend of Zelda’s. I’ve had to save her from evil a few times,” said the Hero of Hyrule, which made Zelda blush.

“You had to _save_ her?” gawked Ryu, “Good lord, I shudder to think what kind of evil Zelda needs saving from could do.”

The green tunic wearing boy who looked to be from a cartoon spoke up, “ He's a few halls down actually.”

“What?” gasped Ryu

The other boy, who appeared to be a younger version of Link interjected, “But we’re all friends now.”

All Ryu could muster was an “Eh?” which caused Zelda, and the two younger boys, to giggle.

Link spoke through a smirk, “There’s a lot to digest. Here, let me take you to your room. I think you’re rooming with Greninja.”

Ryu nodded as he, Link, and the two younger boys began to walk up the grand staircase.

Suddenly, the cartoon boy whipped around, “Hey Zel, ya coming?”

Zelda shook her head, “No, I haven’t had the time to eat yet. Do you know if Daisy actually saved my food or just ate it?”

The look-alike to Link grinned, “I think she saved it this time! I saw it in the kitchen fridge just before you showed up.”

“Oh good,” breathed Zelda, “Because if not, she and I were going to have words in the arena,” said the princess as she headed off towards the kitchen.

Ryu simply waved goodbye as the green tunic trio, Link in front, the two boys in back, aided his trip to the bedrooms.


	30. Origins: Travis Touchdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's assassin vs assassin as Altair heads to Santa Destroy to recruit the one and only Travis Touchdown

**Origins: Travis Touchdown**

**Conference Room A**

Slowly, Altair opened the door. Force of habit supposed the assassin. Shutting the door as gingerly behind him, he saw that…machine ROB standing there, doing nothing. On the table in front of ROB was a picture of a young man, with a few sentences inscribed underneath it. Eying the picture with a disgusted, sour expression, he growled, “ _This_ is the man you want me to recruit? He looks like a vagrant.”

ROB suddenly spoke, “He is Travis Touchdown, a great assassin. Therefore you were chosen to recruit him.”

Altair let a grunt of disapproval, “When you attempted to contact me on this infernal machine, I had assumed you had wanted me to recruit a family member or a member of my Order. Not some…ne’er-do-well.”

“This is the recruitment you were given. I would suggest you do it with no further complaint or suffer an infraction. Mario has been quite busy, and irritating him with insubordination would not benefit you or I.”

“Infraction? I make a comment about the man’s style of dress and that was an infraction?”

“No. Your infraction was not responding to messages when prompted.”

Altair’s nose wrinkled, “Oh, you mean this infernal machine? I do not know how to use it.”

“I anticipated this. Here.”

After a moment of silence, the center screen, which was normally black, changed to a navy blue.

“Your watch is on Easy Mode. Just speak to it, and it will do as you command. You are needed down at the portal room.”

Altair nodded, briskly leaving the room, and slowly closing the door. As he strode out of the conference area, and into the main lobby, he noticed a throng of people heading up the staircase to the bedrooms. Looking over to the front entrance, he saw several Smashers sitting around a firepit. Altair grinned, maybe he’d go join them after this. Looking up to the stairs one last time, he saw Quinn heading down the stairs, a perturbed look on his face. Immediately Altair called, “What troubles you, Quinn?”

“Don’t go back up to the room dude,” said the Mii Brawler

“Why?” asked Altair.

“K-Pop dance party.”

“What?”

“Does Korea exist in your time?”

“No.”

“Do you drink?”

“Do not ask questions you already know the answers to boy.”

“I’m just saying,” Quinn said, When I explain K-Pop to you, you might start.”

Altair’s nose wrinkled, “Is this Sans’ doing?”

Quinn felt his blood run cold for a second. There was murder in the assassin’s voice. Gulping down the bile in his throat, he broke the bad news.

“Yes. Him, Dante, a couple of the girls from the Phantom Thieves, Ken, Chun-Li, Saki, and Yoshi are having a rave. It’s really crowded in there.”

“Fortunately, I will be far away from that nonsense for a while. I’ve got recruitment to do.”

“Ah,” Quinn said, holding back a sigh of relief, “Good luck, I’ll save you a spot by the fire pit.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

Bidding his roommate farewell with a wave, Altair headed to the Portal Room.

**Santa Destroy, CA, 2010**

Whatever witchcraft emptied Altair on to this foreign world, they were nice enough to deposit him onto the roof, casting a quick look down to see what awaited him if he fell, he saw the building that he stood upon was grimy and made of haphazard materials.

_The churches of my homeland will stand for centuries. I doubt this place will be standing a year from now._

Altair shook his head. He had to cast such errant thoughts out of his mind. He knew his mission. Wait for the target.

Minutes passed, then hours. Perhaps it was to distract from the industrial smell that polluted the air, but he couldn’t help but observe the occupants of the building. Judging by people’s casual state of dress, this was a building where multiple people lived. Couples fighting, people smoking what smelled like cheap opium, and a rather shady looking man occasionally knocking on doors and arguing with the people Perhaps the lord of this land? It was during one of these interactions, that he heard something roar. On some sort of angular transportation machine, his smug, vagrant target pulled onto the estate. Holding onto him was a beautiful blond woman dressed in all white. Altair’s target got off of his machine to speak to the landlord.

“Mr. Redondo, I’d like a room for a while.”

“Well, I’ll be. Mister Assassin himself. Lucky fer you your old room is open. When I mention you, my celebrity alum, it turns people away! Guess people don’t wanna sit where the golden nuggets once sat you know?”

“I’ve got the 500 dollars first month’s rent and deposit, just give me the room you old pervert.” Travis snapped, while his woman grinned impishly,

Altair frowned. That was his cue.

“Travis Touchdown! I challenge you!”

Altair jumped down from the roof, landing perfectly at Travis’ feet.

“Aw, shit! This again! Touchdown you sumbitch you’d better pay me double,” screamed Mister Redondo

“Deal,” growled Travis.

“Goddamn, this is worse than when I owned tigers in Oklahoma. Git ‘im hot stuff,” said the landlord.

“Thanks, I guess,” huffed Travis, “Sylvia, get up to the room.”

“Sure thing, my hero. I’ll keep the bed warm,” said the woman, Sylvia in a vaguely European accent, working her way towards the stairs.

It was at that point Altair drew his sword. Travis drew his sword, some sword of light, powered by machines.

“Heh, old school eh?” Travis smirked, eying the sword up and down, “Whelp, at least this’ll be quick.”

Each man swung their sword, clashing off of each other. Travis’ expression was one of shock

“How’d that sheet metal survive that?” scoffed Travis.

“It was crafted by magic that you would not understand vagrant,” hissed Altair.

“Call me that again and I’ll…”

Altair took the moment of hesitation to kick Travis in the knee. The sudden impact of the blow caused Travis to fall forward, his face connecting harshly with the pavement. Altair went in for a stabbing blow, but Travis spun to his feet, kicking Altair in the hand as he did. The assassin reeled back. Travis leaped into the air, jutting forward. When he was in arm’s reach, Altair twisted his arm around his back.

“You have skill boy,” growled the assassin, “But you lack tact and technique. You are far too brash.”

“Ha! Brash? I’ll show ya brash!”

Travis spun around Altair, locking his hands to be fully extended upward, and then lifting him with a bridge to send Altair backward headfirst. Travis began to saunter over to the downed, seemingly motionless Altair, but when Travis was in striking range, Altair sliced him with a sword across the chest, slicing his shirt, but not deeply enough to draw blood.

“Hey! That’s my Hanshin Tigers shirt! Do you have any idea how long I had to wait to get this shirt shithead?” whined Travis, “I got it imported from Japan and now it’s ruined!”

Altair struggled to his feet, “ I could’ve I could have easily gone for the jugular. However, assassinating you isn’t my goal.”

“I doubt ripping my imported shirt wasn’t in the objective list today either.”

Altair smirked as he got to his feet, “Even in the most trained of assassins lash out in frustration from time to time. That is not the point however. I’ve been sent by an association I’m involved in to give you this.”

Altair hastily reached into one of his pouches and pulled out an envelope, throwing it on the ground. Travis picked up the envelope, his eyes suddenly going wide, “This crest? Are you…?”

“A member of the Super Smash Brothers? Yes. You’ve been invited to take part in the tournament, and the heroics we do, though why is beyond me.”

“Yeah yeah, so I didn’t learn how to kill people in a place that didn’t even have plumbing. Get over it,” moaned Travis, “Anyway, can you take me to the Smash place?”

“Should you not tell your woman where you’re going?”

“Oh, right,” Travis said nonchalantly, turning in the direction of the apartment Sylvia had gone into at the start of the fight, “SYLVIA! I’M GOIN’ ON A JOB!”

“TAKE CARE MY HERO!” called Sylvia,

Altair rolled his eyes, before speaking into his watch, “Take us to the mansion.”

And both he and Travis both disappeared.

**Smash Mansion**

When Altair and Travis appeared in the mansion, he saw the spawns of Bowser, the Koopalings, huddled in a circle, snickering. The lone girl, Wendy was the one that spoke up, “Oh, emm, gee, it’s him.”

“Yes yes, you stand in the glory of Travis Touch...”

“Not you moron, the assassin,” Bowser Junior squealed, “You should see it Altair, Mama Peach is about to reem Sans and the partiers.”

“Well I’m always down for a good reaming, what about you?” said Travis.

Altair grinned mischievously. The gleeful glint in his eyes sent a shiver down Travis’ spine.

“A-Alright, let’s go!”

**Altair, Sans, and Quinn’s room**

The first thing Altair noticed, besides the seething Peach and horribly disappointed looking Mario, both dressed in pajamas, was that Sans room was trashed. The blonde and the orange-haired girl appeared to have faces full of whipped cream, and Yoshi appeared to be laying on the floor with a budging belly. The rest seem to be just looking guilty.

“FURTHERMORE,” ranted Peach, “A PIE EATING CONTEST? AS IF THIS DANCE PARTY WASN’T A SAFETY HAZARD ENOUGH, YOU ADD DESSERT INTO IT?”

“So…,much…pie,” wheezed Futaba.

“You and me both,” grumbled Yoshi.

“I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that this party got a bit _too_ crazy,” Dante said,

“Yeah, like, we just wanted to eat pizza in bed but the more people joined in the radder the ideas got,” Sans explained,

“THAT IS NOT A DAMN EXCUSE. YOU ARE A MEMBER OF ADMINISTRATION SANS. AND YOU YOSHI, YOU’RE AN ELDER STATESMEN!” screamed Peach

“Woah, did Peach just cuss?” Ken asked the room, bewildered.

“Not the point here,” hissed Mario, “Instead of enjoying the weekend, you guys just earned yourself Cruel Brawl repetitions until you can knock out one guy. Futaba, Ann, you’d better tell Joker and Akechi, they’re doing yours on your behalf. If you aren’t Cruel Brawling, you’re in your rooms all weekend. Dismissed,” said Mario as, he and Peach turned on their heels, brushing passed Altair and Travis. Suddenly Mario stopped,

“Ah, you must be Travis,” said the leader of the Smash Bros.

“OH MY GOD, IT’S TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN! I LOVE YOUR G-“ Futaba said, cut off when Ann put a hand over her mouth and led her out of the room.

“So,” Mario began, “You’re rooming with Roy. I can take you there if you’d like.”

Travis shrugged, “No problem,” as he and Mario left as well.

As people began to leave the room, Yoshi announced, “No regrets, got free pie.”

“Bro, same,” Sans and Dante said simultaneously

After a pause, Dante said, “Well, I better get going. We should totally do this again bro.”

“Yeah bro, totally,” Sans agreed

Dante walked away from Sans, first helping Yoshi to his feet, and then leading him out of the room.

“Dude, you totally missed a party,” said Sans to Altair.

Altair grunted his disapproval and left the room.

**Outside the Smash Mansion**

“Ah, you saved me a seat after all.”

Quinn looked up from the campfire to see Altair standing beside him. Altair being a light stepper meant these kinds of things happened often, and Quinn had only been at the mansion a few days.

“Is the room safe?” Quinn asked.

“Yes. Peach and Mario gave him quite the talking to.”

Quinn smirked, “I know, the Koopalings basically told everyone.”

Now it was Altair’s turn to smirk,

“Did…did you enjoy it?”

“The only thing more cathartic was accessing the Apple of Eden, the bearer of all knowledge,”

Quinn chuckled, “Well goddamn,”

Altair chuckled,. Quinn chuckled harder. Before either knew it, they were uproariously laughing. Without a word, they settled down. The two spent the rest of the night watching the fire in silence, taking in the merriment and joy that went on around them.


	31. Origins: The River City Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final piece(s) of the Ultimate Tournament puzzle is filled as The Ice Climbers have a run-in with a psychic emo in River City.

**Origins: The River City Girls**

**River City, outside the bath house**

“Let’s get out of here,” groaned Riki, the black-haired hero of River City

“I’m starving, let’s get a Merv Burger, you girls wanna join us?” asked Kunio, the other half of hero the heroic duo of River City asked.

Their two girlfriends, the bubbly Kyoko and the brash Misako couldn’t have been happier. The fewer questions that were asked about why they’d dropped in on the boys’ spa day, raving about them being kidnapped, the better. Wordlessly, the two girls wrapped their arms around their boyfriends, heading to the group’s favorite Merv Burger location, the girls discreetly fist-bumping as they walked. However, if they had paid a bit more attention, they would’ve seen a duo of parka-wearing children, one clad in blue, the other in pink, leaping from building to building, tailing them from a safe distance behind…

**Merv Burger, Crosstown, sometime later,**

“YOU DID WHAT???” shrieked Kunio,

Misako immediately facepalmed. Of course, Kyoko had accidentally let it slip that they had taken out Sabu’s daughter and her henchmen today. Of course she had. Now, the date was ruined.

“So you just… decided we were kidnapped?” Riki quietly grumbled.

“BUT WE GOT A TEXT!” shrieked Kyoko, thrusting her phone into Kunio’s hand, who had to wobble the Diet Spite he was actually holding to recover it.

Quizzically, Kunio thumbed through her texts. Most of which were from mutual acquaintances pointing them in the right direction, with addresses included. He would have to remember to hit each of them with the Spinning Piledriver later for this nonsense.

Finally, he found it. A text that simply read, “Riki n’ Kunio r kidnapped lawl,” from an anonymous number no-less.

“So, you got a text from an anonymous text from someone just _saying_ we were kidnapped, and so you…” Kunio trailed off intentionally, to let one of the girls finish.

“We took down a criminal empire!” shouted Misako excitedly,

“As one does,” mumbled Riki, covering his mouth to hide the smirk forming from it.

“You didn’t stop to think it was a prank?” asked Kunio, his voice betraying absolute bewilderment now, “From Mami and Hasabe perhaps?”

The girls looked at each other, “Oh my God” said the duo simultaneously.

Riki was openly snickering at them now, shaking with laughter. Kunio’s expression was just blank, now slack-jawed with shock. Riki spoke up after getting his not so subtle crack-up over the situation our of his system, “Think of it this way Kunio, we probably would’ve had to have dealt with Sabuko if they hadn’t. That gives us six months to hit the gym while those idiots scramble.”

“I mean yeah,” said Kunio, finally acting normal again, “You did save us a ton of trouble. That’s why you’re our girls, right Rick?”

“Yeah, completely,” said Riki, his eyes now soft and loving.

“Awww, Ricki-poo…” cooed Kyoko.

“Heh,” smirked Misako, “I’ll take my reward in the newest Blue Japan Puroresu DVD.”

“This year’s best Best of the Superheavyweights Tournament right? That’s doable. I’ll even throw in a Hiromu Tanahashi shirt for your trouble, cause you’re the Ace Bomb of my heart.”

“God, you’re such a dork, but I love ya, and that’s what matters,” said Misako, an uncharacteristic sweet smile on her face.

“God, you’re both dorks” Riki chided, playfully shaking his head.

“I know right?” Kyoko joined in.

Just as the foursome shared a hearty giggle. the doors to the Merv burger flung open, aggressively smacking the walls nearest to them. As the heroes of River City looked up, registering the commotion, their table levitated into the air, sliding directly into the boys, as both table, Kunio, and Riki slid helplessly to the opposite wall, taking out pedestrians in their unwillingly wake the table pinning the male contingent of the group to the wall. As the girls swung into action, they were flung to the ceiling. It was then that Misako noticed the purple-haired, shadow aura wielding punk causing the commotion,

“Oh God, it’s Yamada.”

“That creep?” asked Kyoto, “What could he want?”

“I’m sure if you give him five seconds he’ll start monologuing.”

“ATTENTION RESIDENTS OF RIVER CITY…” bellowed Yamada.

“And there it is.” Misako groaned, rolling her eyes.

“And there you are,” sneered Yamada, “Snarky even in the face of my great psychic power.”

“Sir, this is a Merv’s,” whined a pimply-faced employee from behind the cash register, who’s mouth was promptly covered with a telekinetically manipulated slice of lettuce

“Any more interruptions from you fools? I mean, lord knows you’ve probably got something stupid to say Misako.”

“Nope, fresh out of quips for now,” said Misako, “Get on with whatever you’re gonna say..”

“Yeah!” agreed Kyoko, “The longer this goes, the flatter my soda’s gonna get!”

“As I was saying,” hissed Yamada, “You girls messed up my payday. But, you also created a power vacuum, and the only one powerful enough to take advantage of it is ME, the great YAMADA! The first thing on my list of to-dos is…”

“Do your laundry?” asked Kyoko.

“No, to take you out, to avoid a repeat performance.”

With a dismissive wave of the hand, the girls were suddenly freed from the ceiling, hanging in the air. Suddenly, they were hoisted upside down.

“Prepare girls, for the ultimate Tombstone Piledriver. May you…rest…in….peace.”

“Ugh, an Overtaker reference? 1991 called, it wants its wrestling reference back!” whined Misako.

“Can’t you at least come up with a little something more modern? Like the Bomb Ace?” asked Kyoko.

“Trust me, honey,” Yamada growled, “The only thing that’s going to be a bomb is what your heads splatter on the floor of this fast-food restaurant!”

As Yamada began to snicker to himself, suddenly the large bay windows of the establishment exploded as two children in parkas, one in blue, and one in pink, kicked their way through it. Without a word, the two children simultaneously used ice breath to freeze each of Yamada’s hands. As The River City Girls fell, the children leaped into the air, the blue-clad one grabbing Misako, and the pink-clad one grabbing Kyoko out of the air and landing them back safely unto the ground.

At that moment, Yamada broke through the ice, “Ah, so a couple of Eskimos have come to join the fight eh?”

“Actually, we prefer the term Inuit,” quipped the one in blue.

“Not the time Popo, get into position,” barked the one in pink.

“Right, sorry Nana,” said Popo.

The two stood back to back, their hammers out in front of them.

“SQUALL HAMMER” they both shouted

They began to spin at an alarming rate towards Yamada, who immediately brought his hands up to block.

“KYOKO, follow me!” shouted Misako.

The two girls were stepping in synch now. Misako jumped into the air, Kyoko following suit. They both jumped off of the parka wearing duo’s heads and executed a perfectly synchronized Double Dropkick. The force of the blow sent Yamada’s forearms, which were up to block, colliding with his nose, which immediately broke it. In landing from the dropkick, Kyoko managed to roll behind Yamada, so as he turned, staggering from dizziness, Kyoko kicked him in the crotch, clasping his jaw with both her hands, turning around, and sitting down. The force of the blow sent Yamada staggering, this time into Misako, who effortlessly hoisted Yamada onto her shoulders in a sitting position, throwing him down on the ground.

“Ahhh, Stun Gun into a Powerbomb. Such a fun combo to hit,” giggled Misako, wearing a vibrant smile, feeling the adrenaline

“I KNOW! The Leaping Nuke Guardians ain’t got NOTHIN’ on us!” whooped Kyoko.

“God Riki, how did we ever get so lucky?” dreamily sighed Kunio, who’d been watching the whole scene along with Riki.

“Honestly, I wonder that at least twice a day,” remarked Riki as he helped Kunio move the table that pinned them to the wall.

“The Buff Twins are right, we need to learn cool stuff like that,” remarked Popo.

“I agree,” said Nana with a warm smile, “Girls, I’m Nana, he’s Popo.”

“Yo!” said Popo with an overenthusiastic wave, “We want to invite you to a fighting tournament.”

“That sounds like it rocks, count us in!” Misako cheered

“I agree!” said Kyoko with equal enthusiasm.

“And,” said Nana, “We double as a peacekeeping taskforce, and so to bolster our roster with talent on that end, we’re inviting auxiliary members, who have full use of the amenities. Riki, Kunio, do you want to come along. We’re all going to be sharing a three-bedroom suite,”

“Dope, we’re in! Riki?” asked Kunio,

“Sounds fun. We’re in.”

“Excellent, welcome to the Super Smash Brothers,” Nana said.

Nana typed in a code, and the six stepped through the portal, to a silent mansion in the dead of night.

“Why’s it so quiet?” whispered Kunio,

“Because it’s nighttime, dummy,” snapped Misako

“Smash exists in its own dimension and has its own timezone. It’s pretty weird when you think about it.” Popo explained

Nana immediately jumped in,“Yeah, we’ve been recruiting all day, and you guys were the last one. You’ll have the weekend to get acclimated, and then the training begins,”

“Why were we the last?” asked Kyoko

“Because we’re the coolest!” quietly cheered Misako.

As they had done on the walk to Merv Burger, the girls fist-bumped, their respective beaus on their arms, except this time on the ascent up the staircase. With their arrival, ROB cataloged the final open slot from the control room. The greatest roster in the history of Smash Brothers was completed. Everyone was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Origins arc is finally done with! I know it's been a slag, but I can't thank you guys enough, whether you skimmed one chapter, or read it all. I've got to thank The Super Smash Prose Discord Sever (link in my bio) for being a constant source of encouragement, specifically FFN writer Plissken The Serpant for the beta edits to this chapter specifically!


	32. The First Weekend Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock crushing competitions, workouts, ninja hide and seek, encyclopedia reading, stories over coffee, DDR, and more abound as the Smashers relax before Physics Week.

**The First Weekend: Part 1**

_Bzzt bzzt bzzt_

Quinn rolled over in bed, grabbing his communicator from off the nightstand. The text that had caused the device to activate was from Mario, and it bore one sentence

**Everyone is here, all-hands meeting, 15 minutes,**

Quinn mulled the word “everyone” around in his head a few times. He had noticed there were increasingly more new faces in the last few days, especially at the firepit. Grabbing his sunglasses and tucking them into the collar of his sleep shirt for safekeeping and heading to the bathroom for a quick brush of his teeth, he recalled the outing at the firepit. It had turned into something of a musical exhibition, with the bear and the bird first pulling out a banjo and then a kazoo. Toon Link had joined in, somehow using a conducting wand to make music from nowhere, and Zelda had accompanied him on the harp, which led to Young Link pulling out his ocarina, Donkey Kong bringing his bongos, and Diddy Kong of all people laying down the lyrics in a very wholesome freestyle jamboree, while the others clapped along. He hadn’t had that much fun in a long time and hoped it was a sign of things to come.

Brushing his teeth quickly, and spitting out the water, he opened the door to see Altair leaving, “Hey,” called the Wuhu Island resident, “You seen Sans?”

Altair poked his head back into the room to say, “Probably attending to his administrator duties for once,” before truly leaving the room, letting the doors close behind him.

As Quinn walked down the hallway, he saw some of the other Smashers murmuring with excitement.

“What do you think this announcement could be about?” asked Torri, who was walking with her roommate Green.

“It’s physics week Torri!”

“Augh…what’s that? Physics was always my worst subject in school.”

Captain Falcon, who was behind them, interjected, “Don’t fret young lady, the name is pretty misleading. Think of it more of an opportunity for training on how to be a Smasher.” 

“Woomy! That I can do!” cheered Torri, “But…why’s it called Physics Week?” she asked, he forehead wrinkling in confusion

“Because the physics is different every tournament. Gravity mostly, so we’re gonna spend a week getting acclimated .” Quinn interjected, on autopilot.

In response Torri, just looked at him as if he’d spawned a second head while Green snickered at the situation Quinn felt himself shrinking from embarrassment.

“Sorry, I literally went to school to be a Smasher, and uh…” bashfully said the Mii Fighter.

A boisterous laugh came from Falcon as they got in the line to descend the grand staircase, “ There’s no problem showing what you know young man!” said the F-Zero racer,

“Thanks, I guess,” mumbled Quinn as they advanced ever further in line.

“Seriously, don’t overthink this stuff. You’re a student, so reciting knowledge is kind of your thing right now. But, I think the more experience you get as a fighter, the more you’ll learn to think on your feet.”

“You’re probably right. I just hope I get there fast enough to win some matches.”

The line was advancing, the doors were in sight.

Again, Falcon laughed saluting the young Mii, “We’re all working on ourselves at our own pace. There’s no rush!”

“By the way, we uh…didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything,” Torri mumbled.

“Yeah no,” added Green, “I just thought Torri being confused was funny at the moment,”

“I’ll remember that when I recolor your Pokemon!” snapped Torri jokingly.

“It’s not you guys,” interjected Quinn,” It’s just a hang-up I have to work on,” he said, nodding understandingly at Green and Torri.

Now, it was time for Green, Torri, and Quinn to push through the doors. Quinn felt his breath catch in his throat as he observed the sight before him beyond the doors. The most imaginative surrealist painter couldn’t produce an image so strikingly bizarre. Humanoids, animals, humanoid animals, and a few Quinn would classify as somewhere in between all stood at in the main hall of the Smash Mansion, spilling out into it once they descended the staircase.

Suddenly, Quinn was snapped out of his bewilderment by a shove to his back. Quinn felt his center of gravity being off shifted, with the possibility of falling down a flight of stairs feeling very real, and very frightening. Luckily, Quinn was able to catch his balance.

“MOVE JERK!” screamed Wario,

Quinn rolled his eyes as he began to descend. As he headed down, it became apparent to him that he had been so wrapped up in all the excitement that he’d failed to notice the ever-present cloud of rot behind him that was Wario.

“Awww, he didn’t fall,” whined the cloud of rot.

“Ha! You couldn’t do it! You owe me 20 coins!” shouted the voice of Porky somewhere behind him.

As Wario grumbled in defeat, Quinn took his place near the front of the ensemble, next to Ridley and Dark Samus.

_What is it with me and villains today?_ Quinn wondered internally.

Ridley growled, his metal teeth angrily clashing with each other as he did, “What could possibly be so important? In the time it takes this circus to get everyone together, I could’ve traveled megaparsecs,” The Cunning God of Death whined, the metallic parts of his mouth clanking as it moved.

Dark Samus only growled in what Quinn thought was agreement.

The final group of Smashers descended the staircase, Chrom (who was dressed in his pajamas, frantically yelling something about getting up late), King K. Rool and his guards (who wordlessly shoved past Quinn and the others behind him), and Pichu (who eagerly scurried up Quinn, settling upon his head, much to Quinn’s enjoyment.) Then, Shulk, Sans, Marth, Otis, Mikey, ROB, Marth, Peach, and then Mario filed out one by one, with Mario standing in the middle of the group at the top of the staircase, with the other administrative team members stood at his sides. Mario tapped what appeared to be a wireless mic, and the room fell silent.

“What can I say? Smashers, everyone is here!”

The room cheered simultaneously. Even Ridley had a grin on his face at that.

“So, now that we’re all settled, I’m going to run down the preliminary schedule. The next 48 hours are free time. You can do whatever you wish to do on the Mansion property. Then, we have Physics Week, which is an opportunity for our new members to train on the stages that we’ll be using in the tournament, so they can get an idea for how fighting in a Smash arena feels. Veterans, this is a good opportunity to either set up informal training sessions with our newcomers or, if you feel like you want to hold a more formal seminar, please let someone in Administration know by the end of the weekend. I’ve reached out to a few of you already about a seminar, so just await further instructions on those. Both informal and formal are limited to eight Smashers per stage, and signup sheets go out at dinnertime at the end of the weekend. Also, I should say that Smash City is off-limits until Physics Week because that’s when we’re moving in the vendors, as well as finalizing housing accommodations. That said, Miss Trainer is holding a cardio seminar at Ultimate Stadium, should that pique your interest.”

“Miss Trainer?” whispered Quinn, hoping someone would hear him.

“He means Wii Fit Trainer you goon,” Ridley growled.

Quinn felt his whole body shiver as Ridley stared him down. Satisfied with his work, Ridley grinned, his headlight yellow eyes narrowing coyly before he turned back to face the speakers.

“What happens after Physics Week?” shouted Vector to the admin team,

Mario grinned, “Everyone moves in, then we have the opening ceremony in the evening, and then the all-hands dinner, then the tournament is the next day.”

A happy murmur echoed through the crowd, then suddenly Sans spoke up, “So, as some of you know, some of us got into some trouble last night.”

“Yes,” sneered Akechi from the back of the room, “Someone’s girlfriend and surrogate sister got _us_ in trouble,”   
Joker, who was beside Akechi, simply smirked at him. Ann, who was on Joker’s other side, peaked around her boyfriend to flip off their rival... Akechi simply rolled his eyes, causing snickers from a few Smashers nearby.

“So,” continued Sans, “For those of us, and we know who we are, that partied too hard last night, Cruel Brawl is on tomorrow until we each eliminate one guy. Today though, we’re grounded! The question is, how will you kill the time? Me? I’m going to practice some Dvorak on trombone, ya know, to get amped.”

_And there goes the bedroom_ Quinn whined internally.

“Who of us is grounded?” asked Dante with a crap-eating grin on his face.

At this, Peach’s face puffed up, likely to shout at the Son of Sparda, but all Mario had to do dissuade that was hold up a hand.

“You know you and me stuck it to the man.” Sans began, pointing finger guns at a smiling Dante, “ Besides us, Yoshi, Chun-Li, the Phantom Thieves, Ken, and Saki are all grounded.”

“To add to what Sans said,” spoke Peach with angry authority, “The sleeping areas are _not_ for loud parties. If you must have such a fracas, please use any other room in this mansion.” Peach explained, intimidating authority spilling out of her every word.

“I just want to emphasize this, _any_ other room?” asked Wario, a Cheshire Cat-like smile spreading on his face.

“Ugh, she doesn’t mean the bathroom, you idiot.” Ness groaned from further back in the crowd.

“EY! SAY THAT TO MY FACE SHRIMP!” bellowed Wario, raising his fists as if to box.

“Calm down Wario, he just said…” Lucas tried to interject as Cuphead stood between the two, ready to fight.

At this, Wario’s face went as red as a tomato almost immediately “NO! YOU INTERRUPTED MY BRILLIANT JOKE! I’LL A CRUSH-A YOU, I’LL-A CRUSH-A COFFEE BOY! I’LL-A CRUSH-” ranted the fat man, his face now an eggplant purple.

“Wario, that’s enough,” Mario said, his cold, authoritative tone silencing the room, “ Unless you want to get in on the Cruel Brawl session this weekend,” he growled

“No…” Wario whispered, slumping back into the crowd to the giggles of a few, likely the same who had giggled at Akechi earlier.

“That’s what we thought. Now be a well-behaved toddler instead of a naughty one for the rest of the meeting, won’t you?”Peach mockingly cooed with a playful wink.

The snickers picked up in volume. To quell this, Mario cleared his throat, “With that said, Marth?” he prompted, nodding over to the Vice President

“Yes,” Marth began, “We have decided to unveil the tournament bracket on Opening Day, to give everyone an even chance. Know this, however, that it is being designed to determine who was the best among fighting styles, and among each era of Smash, in addition to finding the champion among us all. Do you have anything to add Mario?”

“ I haven’t mentioned the prize money!” Mario said with a playful snap of his fingers, “ The veterans already know this, but for our new people I’m going to explain the prize money scheme. So, as everything in Smash City is perpetually automated, there is-a no operating budget, so all the proceeds for-a stadium tickets and transportation can be distributed back to the fighters. And, considering the multi-dimensional tournament we have, coupled with the size of our stadium, our attendance is in the hundreds of billions.”

“What?” Travis Touchdown protested, “There’s no way!”

“Oh, but there is son,” Captain Falcon piped in, “One of the major cities of my world has a population of 2 billion, and considering we can run shuttles to the Smash Dimension for dirt cheap, plus the fact that this place exists outside of time, means we get an enormous attendance from all of our worlds, plus some worlds Master Hand wanted to an extend an arm to.”

“God Falcon, was that a pun?” Bayonetta groaned,

“You know it ‘Netta!” Falcon shouted with a playful salute.

“Furthermore,” Samus interjected, side eying Captain Falcon, “Some people have their own airships, so they don’t even use the accommodations, whether that be large parties or companies, or rich asshats who don’t want to interact with the commoners.’

“Don’t curse Samus!” playfully whined Bayonetta, throwing an arm over her shoulder, “Or else we’ll have to Cruel Smash with the rest of the idiots.”

Samus grinned, “Yeah, sorry,” she said, throwing a thumbs up at the admin team.

“Thanks, guys, couldn’t have said it better myself,” Mario continued, “ So, first-round losers get a million Smash coins, second-round losers get two million, round three losers get four, round four gets eight, round five gets 16 million, semi-final losers get 32, runner up gets 64 million, and the champion gets the remainder of the pot, which can still amount to several billion if our attendance calculation is correct.”

The murmurs of excitement that came next were from the newcomers, most of whom had never seen that kind of money before.

“Now,” Mario said, bringing attentive silence to the room once again, “Do we have any questions?”

“Yes,” piped up a tiny voice from within the crowd, The Villager, “Will vendors get paid the way as they were last time?”

“Oh! That’s a great question,” Marth said, “Yes. All of you have vendors from your world coming, and a lot of them were interested in how the conversion works, as I’m-a sure some of you are as well. All currencies of the invited worlds and dimensions are valid, and vendors will be walked through the conversion rate at the tournament’s end, when they “cash out,” as the terminology goes.”

More murmurs, the only unique sound was Isabelle, who was standing next to Villager furiously dictating into a notebook.

“Ah, but you mentioned Smash Coins? How does that differ from the currency the vendors will be dealing with?” asked Chun-Li.

“Each coin is worth 1 million of any currency around the multi-verse.” piped in Mikey.

“WHAT THE F-“ screamed Kyoko, only for Misako to quickly put a hand over her mouth.

“Man, I’ll never hurt for anime again!” barked Travis loudly

“Hey Dante, you might actually be able to pay off your debts,” chided Vergil.

“Did you really have to bring that out in front of everybody?” moaned Dante,

“Now,” Mario once again interrupted, his voice suddenly stern, “I hope you realize how amazing an opportunity this is. All we ask to keep things civil is that you follow our rules.”

“Our very limited rules, for that matter,” added in Peach.

“Yes. With that said, everyone who isn’t under punishment is dismissed. Those of you who are, go to your rooms and await instructions for tomorrow Oh, and Master Chief, I need to speak to you in the Core Machine Room.”

Master Chief nudged his way through the crowd as Mario descended the stairs. The Spartan followed the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom to the catacombs.

As Altair ambled away with the Belmonts, caught up in a spirited conversation about the wonder of flying machines sustaining human life independently. Quinn followed the crowd who was headed outside Pichu still eagerly perched upon his head. From behind him, he heard Miss Trainer, shout, “Anyone who wants to get some cardio in at the stadium come with me,”

_That doesn’t sound like a terrible idea,_

With that, Quinn, Pichu, and a few others began the long trek to Smash Stadium.

**Core Machine Room**

Mario and Master Chief wordlessly walked through the door of the Core Machine room. On one of the counters, two Polygon Team members were using miniature torching tools to tinker with something that looked like a small stadium floodlight.

“How’s it-a going boys?” Mario asked,

“We are attempting to implement Shulk’s design as you know,” began one Polygon, “ But the propulsion system is proving to be a problem. The amount of normal propulsion requires versus the size of the thing is proving to be difficult.”

Mario nodded, “Shulk was sayin’ that. You,” he said, pointing to the Polygon that had not yet spoken, “Go get the toolbox with my name on it.”

Without a word, the Polygon stood up to rummage through the low cabinets that resided below each counter space.

Master Chief crossed his arms, grunting with fascination, “Are you all craftsmen?”

Mario chuckled, “No, we just keep tools from each of our world available for DIY projects like this one.”

“Which brings something to mind, what does this have to do with us?”

A smirk from The Boss, “In due time Chief.”

As if on cue, the polygon emerged with a toolbox with a mushroom with eyes engraved its lid, as well as the name of its owner.

Mario opened it. What Chief saw caught him by surprise, flowers, mushrooms, stars, all with eyes, all given their proper storage space within the foam innards.

“Looks like it does,” Master Chief said.

Mario raised an eyebrow, “Beg-a pardon?”

“Cortana wanted to know if your world operated on fairy tale logic,” explained the Spartan.

Mario smirked, “Trust me, took me a while to get used to it myself, but it becomes second nature over time. Like these!”

Out of the toolbox, Mario pulled out a wing-shaped item, with the letter ‘P’ emblazed upon it in red. Pressing the wing onto the device, the item disappeared, the device growing wings.

“I agree with you Cortana, they can’t be serious.”

Mario shrugged, “I don’t-a question it, I just do it.”

Chief simply nodded, “Sound advice, but you haven’t told us what this has to do with us.”

Mario held out his hand, “Give Cortana to me.”

“No,” growled Chief.

“I understand your reluctance, but you’ve encountered no resistance so far. Please, just-a trust me.”

There was a pause, “Alright, for you. What is this meant to do?” Chief asked.

“Quite simply Cortana, it’s meant to give you freedom of movement, as you had aboard _The Autumn,_ only better.”

“Calm down,” Chief snapped, seemingly speaking to Cortana, “That’s what she wanted to know, and she is quite pleased.”

Mario smiled, “As I can imagine. Hand her over.”

Chief pressed a button on the side of his helmet The back protruded outward, and Chief pulled the chip containing Cortana out of the helmet completely, handing it to Mario. Mario stuck the chip in the back of the winged light, the light flaring to life and Cortana appearing before them, “I’m a real girl!” Cortana cheered.

Master Chief only grunted disapprovingly,

“What? I’ve always wanted to say that!” whined the AI.

“Cortana, I’ve been told that this can be controlled similarly to how you would navigate a ship you’re on board,” Mario explained

“So with thought then huh? Alright, let’s try it.”

The winged light fluttered up, following behind Cortana as she moved,

“Chief, Mario, this is amazing! Is this how humans walk around?”

“Yes. I’m glad-a you enjoyed it. You two are dismissed,” Mario said, leaving through the door from which they came.

“I’m going to explore the property a bit Chief. You’re welcome to come with if you want.”

Chief simply nodded, Spartan and AI walking together to get back up to the main level.

**Lobby**

Corrin couldn’t help but smile as she saw the lobby desolate a few minutes after the meeting had adjourned. She had expected the lobby to be packed but deduced the weather being nice is what caused the opposite. She headed down the stairs, carrying in one hand a plastic bottle of sweet tea, and an encyclopedia under the opposite arm.

After descending the staircase, she gracefully sat in one of the comfy-looking chairs in the lobby, spreading the encyclopedia onto her lap, and examining the plastic bottle. Normally, she made tea for herself along with Peach and some of the other royals, but with the rushed affairs this morning, no one had had the time to make a pot.

Corrin unscrewed the cap from the bottle, taking a dainty sip, holding the liquid in her mouth, letting its flavors breathe. Corrin grimaced.

_Too sweet_ she thought.

The princess of two kingdoms swallowed. It wasn’t like she would ever waste food, she wouldn’t make drinking such sweets a habit.

With that experiment over, she turned her attention to the encyclopedia. Books had been restocked in the mansion since she last visited the library in the days of the Duel tournament, which meant new encyclopedias to thumb through. Traditionally, the library was seldom used, the exception of which being when the more thorough of the Smashers wanted to research their opponent. The new books in the library this time appeared to be geared towards the lands of the newcomers. Reading encyclopedias had gained Corrin a few odd looks both here and at home, but it was something of a ritual at this point. She would typically thumb through an encyclopedia, make note of whatever subjects she found interesting, and read more detailed things from there. The reading she had on her lap this time had to do with the world Terry came from, specifically, The United States. She knew Mac was from a different version of it, and Ryu had traveled to his version regularly, but it hadn’t appealed to her.

That was until she met Terry Bogard.

She couldn’t think of a time before him in which she had met someone and been unable to stop thinking about them. Loud, yet soft-spoken when appropriate. Flamboyant, yet humble. Relaxed, yet disciplined. Brave, curious, adventurous, gorgeous like a man out of a fairy tale.

If only she could work up the nerve to have a conversation of substance with him.

Sure, they’d talked daily ever since he arrived via the text chatting function on their communicators, buy their talks never extended beyond pleasantries, and gossip about the goings-on. It reminded her of the glum days in the Northern Fortress, where any human interaction she had had from family was on a strictly need-to-know basis. So hardwired into her brain was way of life that, unless spoken to, she rarely ever spoke.

_If I can’t speak to him, I might as well learn about the culture that made him_ Corrin had reasoned in the library.

And so there she was, about to open her written gateway into a crush’s world.

“Hey! Dragon lady!” a familiar voice shouted from the door leading to the cafeteria.

The hairs on the back of Corrin’s neck stood up. Coming towards her was The Hungry Wolf himself, Terry Bogard, “Whatcha reading?” he asked as he neared her.

It dawned on Corrin then. Here she was, reading about a crush’s home country, at no point did it occur to her that her crush had a chance of seeing her do it.

_Legendary Dragons above, truly I am nothing more than an adolescent with a crush._

“O-oh, a book on your United States,” Corrin stuttered.

Terry grinned at her, “And why’s that?”

Corrin’s cheeks felt hotter than the sun, Terry only grinned wider.

_Dastard’s got me dead to rights._

“I wanted to get to know your world better, as I was fascinated when I was there.”

_So why did you lie?_

“Well, we were in Mexico, which is a different country.”

Corrin only blushed harder.

“But…” jokingly pondered the King of Fighters champion, “If you wanna know more, we could always go out to dinner when the city opens up, see if they have an arcade.”

“Yes!” Corrin said, her excited declaration sounding like the squeak of a mouse.

Terry grinned, “Glad you’re looking forward to it. I am too. I can’t wait to hear what you think about it US history.”

“Y-yeah, me neither,” Corrin stammered

Terry chuckled, Corrin’s cheeks now so deeply blushed she theorized they could melt the coldest ice in Nohr.

“Keep readin’ Dragon Lady,” pointing at her with his thumb up, starting his way up the stairs.

When she was sure he wasn’t looking towards her, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. If she didn’t stow her heart soon, it might explode! It was only after she heard the grand doors shut that she opened her eyes, took a few slow, even breaths, flipping to the first page of the United States section.

_Wait, when I agreed to our date, was he…blushing too?_

Corrin shook the thought out of her head and began to read.

**Kitchen**

It wasn’t the first time they’d cooked together, but Meta-Knight still couldn’t wrap his head around it.

He, King Dedede, Kirby, and Jigglypuff stood in the kitchen, making a feast for the rest of the Smashers tonight. Typically, the group wasn’t required to eat together till Opening Day night, but Kirby could be rather insistent when he put his mind to something. This went double for food. Kirby had recruited the usual quartet, as he had done multiple times in the past. Even so, it never quite registered as the truth for Meta-Knight that this group could co-exist as a blended family. Three of them had engaged in battles for the future of their planet, together and on opposing sides. Jigglypuff had come into their lives a stranger from another dimension had fallen in and out of love with Kirby, in love with him, and through it, all counted them as the family they’d never had. And so, here they were, together, cooking like a family, each performing the task in the process that suited them best.

“More veggies coming your way for the stew handsome!” said Jigglypuff

That snapped Meta-Knight out of his trance. Chopping the veggies with a freshly cleaned Galaxia without a second thought. Just as Meta-Knight felt his concentration slip again, a piece of the background noise in this whole affair, Dedede tenderizing an enormous cut of beef with his hammer, stopped. There was silence for several seconds before the King of Dreamland spoke up,

“I’ve been thinking about something.”

“There’s a shocker,” teased Jigglypuff.

Under his mask, Meta-Knight smirked. Telling off your boss via your girlfriend was a nice ace in the hole to have.

Dedede only grunted in response before continuing, “How do y’all think the bracket’s gon’ be split up”

This caught Meta-Knight off guard. Marth had said that they were going to determine the best of each class, so did that mean…?

“Is there a chance we’re gonna have to fight each other?” Kirby asked, his voice wrought with concern.

“Highly unlikely. In a field of 100 fighters guarantees of advancing far are non-existent, ” Meta-Knight said.

“What about the first round?” asked Kirby.

“Even more unlikely,” grunted Meta-Knight.

Kirby smiled, squinting his eyes, agreeing with a bouncy “Mm-hmm!”

Jigglypuff spoke up next, “ Aw c’mon Knighty-Knight, who’s to say that luck won’t be on our side this tournament. Heck, Kirby won the Brawl one!”

“I’m only saying…” Meta-Knight began, but Jigglypuff cut him off.

“You’re avoiding the question!” barked Dedede.

Jigglypuff bit her lip, “I hate to say it but…he’s right.”

Meta-Knight blushed under his mask, supposing that was the universe paying him back for the fun he’d had at Dedede’s expense earlier.

“I-I was just pondering how this changes the rules of engagement. I wouldn’t want to do anything to upend my friendship with any of you.”

Kirby chirped “You guys are my family, and no tournament’s ever gonna change that.”

“So with that said, gimmie all ya got if we meet!” demanded Dedede.

Jigglypuff smiled in agreement, “Yeah! What they said!”

“Expect no less then, any of you” Meta-Knight nodded.

Jigglypuff and Kirby both gave happy, affirmative grunts. Suddenly, Jigglypuff snapped to attention, “Enough jibber-jabber! We have a stew to cook. That means you handsome,” she said, pointing a nub at Meta-Knight, “No slacking!”

“Yes milady,” grunted Meta Knight, doing his best to hide a wide smile.

**Cafeteria**

Cloud Strife stared vacantly into his cup of black coffee, having a table to himself as the Smashers who hadn’t gone back to bed after the meeting filtered in for breakfast. Ever since Sephiroth had joined the group, he hadn’t been able to sleep, plagued by nightmares of Zack’s death. But it was different than what piecing together his memories in the pool of Mako had yielded. In the nightmare, his friends had beaten Sephiroth right after leaving Midgar, and in doing so, it managed to undo some of the damage…including Zack’s death.  
Cloud grimaced. After the Geostigma Crisis, he’d spent a few months in Cosmo Canyon, getting psychological guidance from the elders of Red XIII’s village, and living off the land. In this time of hard work and self-reflection, he’d come to realize that defeating Sephiroth was the best possible solution he could’ve offered for the planet woes, and those that had died, Zack, Aerith, his family, Tifa’s family, had not done so in vain.

Now, here he was, unable to sleep, fueled almost exclusively by caffeine, back where he started.

“Cloud?” a gruff voice asked,

He hung a glance over his shoulder. It was Snake walking towards him, also carrying a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, that’s me. You Snake?”

“That’s me.” Snake said, a grin on his face. 

Cloud waited until Snake took the seat opposite him, extending his hand, allowing Snake to shake it.

“I’ve heard quite a bit about you,” Cloud said.

Snake grunted. Luckily, years of extended communication with Cid had taught him what good and bad grunts had sounded like. That was a good one.

“I could say the same about you, genetically modified warrior clone, pumped full of a dangerous substance. Confront the guy you were cloned from, and the government that made it all possible, and won. My kind of guy.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow, noting the mercenary’s tone. This wasn’t the tone of a superfan who approached him on the street. This was the nonchalant tone of a man who’d lived it.

“Same shit happen to you?” inquired Cloud.

“Frighteningly so,”

And so, as Cloud sipped his coffee, Snake told Cloud his weaving tale, starting with his father fifty years ago, getting to the adventures he himself had experienced e and finally wrapping up with...

“And so after the Subspace thing, I decided to have Master Hand put me on ice until they needed me again because if I went back home they’d try to recreate all that I had prevented.”

Cloud went to say something, but could only mutter, “Wow,”

Snake chuckled, “I get that a lot.”

Cloud chuckled back, “Hey, at least I could beat up someone working for Shinra. You had to climb through a heating furnace just to give a computer a virus.”

“But your guy Sephiroth blew up your version of the Solar System right? You win some you lose some I suppose.”

Cloud let out a grunt. He saw a flash of realization in Snake’s eyes. He could read grunts too.

“Hey,” Snake asked, concern in his voice, “How’re you holding up with him…here?”

Cloud cast his gaze to his coffee, “He hangs out on the roof, like the gargoyle he is, most of the time, so that’s not the issue. Issue is I’ve been having some restless nights.”

Snake nodded sympathetically, “Nightmares?”

Cloud returned the nod, “Super vivid ones too. Of events that I remember…but differently.”

Snake rubbed his chin in thought, “Could be more than that.”

“More?”

“Yeah. Link…”

“Trading old war stories are we gentlemen?”

Both men’s gaze snapped towards the source of the voice as Peach strode up to them, teacup gracefully in hand, one of her Toad attendants following behind her.

“Yes and no,” Snake explained, “Cloud here’s been having nightmares, similar to the ones Link had way back when and has been ever since Sephiroth showed up.”

“Hmmm. That’s not good at all, but I believe it to be solvable,” said Peach.

“You do?” asked Cloud.

“Yes. Zelda talked quite a bit about it when we first met at the Melee tournament. Link was having similar problems because Ganondorf used time travel to run afoul in his past, so he was having recollections of memories that he himself had not experienced. This place being in-between universes, occasionally you catch whiffs of things that may have happened to an alternate version of yourself.”

“Do you think that’s what’s happening?” Cloud asked,

Peach giggled, “Darling, I’m far from a scientist, but please do message my dear Mario, and he can set up a consultation.”

Cloud smiled, nodding, “Thank you Peach.”

Peach smiled, “It’s no issue at all Mister Strife!” said the Princess of the Mushroom kingdom, her voice kind and chipper, “ I’m always here if you need someone to listen.”

Again, Cloud nodded, “Something tells me I’ll be taking you up on that sooner rather than later. But right now, I think I need to get somewhere quiet so I can write this out properly.”

“Want a cigarette? You sound like you could use one,” chided Snake

Cloud shook his head with a grin on his face, “Nah, one of my old teammates smokes like a chimney, now I can’t stand the smell.”

“Fair enough.”

Slamming the rest of his coffee Cloud bid his friends a silent wave goodbye and headed out of the kitchen.

“So Snake,” Peach asked, taking a sip of tea, “How’s your day going so far?”

Snake shrugged, pulling a flask out of one of his many pouches, pouring its contents into his coffee, and stirring it with a spoon, “Sonic and Isabelle are spending the day together.”

Peach smirked, hiding it with a bigger sip of tea, squeaking out, “I’m sorry” as she put the tea down.

“I’m…uh…used to people laughing about gossip,” the mercenary reassured the princess

Peach gracefully set down the now empty teacup, “Sorry my dear, years of etiquette classes and royal court form the most absurd habits “

“I can imagine,” Snake nodded with a sip of coffee

Peach’s eyes suddenly lit up, “Enough about me. We were saying that Isabelle and Sonic courting one another is driving you to drink.”

“Snake frowned, “You make it sound much more romantic than it is. What it actually is Sonic attempting to flirt like some lovesick teenager.”

Peach sighed lovingly at the prospect, “Snake, you must understand. Sonic is still very immature and…”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“Snake! It’s very rude to interrupt!”

“Now you’re just starting to sound like Isabelle.”

“Nevertheless,” Peach spoke, more verbose now, as if she was about to give a royal decree, “Isabelle is an upstanding young lady, and, for all his faults. Sonic is an upstanding young man. If anything, trust Isabelle’s judgment.”

Snake rubbed his chin, now in thought, “You’re right,” he finally concluded

Peach giggled, “Good, now you can stop hiding your alcohol like some kind of vagrant.”

Snake gave out a long, thoughtful grunt.

“Something that matter?” asked the princess.

“I don’t hide my alcohol use from anyone. It’s just that Isabelle got to the mini-fridge before I did, and stocked with bottles of some fruity looking drink. I don’t typically drink sugary cocktails.”

Peach’s eyes widened, color draining from her face. Before Snake could ask what the matter was, the royal spoke in a hushed whisper.

“Is it…seafoam green for the bottom layer, sky blue for the middle, and navy for the top layer?”

Snake raised an eyebrow, “I’m assuming you’re familiar?”

“Vacation Juice,” Peach shuddered,

“So you are?”

“Am I ever? The Villager made his own for the tournament afterparty last time. To say that myself and a few others got sloshed beyond repair is an understatement.”

“The Villager made moonshine?”

“Is that what homebrewed alcohol is referred to as in your world? Then yes.”

“Damn, guess I missed some fun while I was on ice. Please tell me someone filmed it.”

“I had them all destroyed by royal order. But, I can’t say the same for Cloud drunkenly proposing to Bayonetta.”

“Oh my God.”

“Falco has the master copy, talk to him.”

Snake chuckled, “I’m going to, most certainly.”

Suddenly, Peach’s communicator went off. She quickly scanned the message before standing up to leave. One Toad attendant took her now empty teacup, while another brushed down the spot where the teacup had been with a handkerchief, “My apologies dear, but Mario needs me to lend him an ear over some tournament matters. I hope you don’t mind.”

Snake waved his hand dismissively, “Not at all. In fact, there’s a certain blue jay I need to pay some money.”

Peach giggled, “You have fun with that now! Adieu!” Peach said, striding out of the kitchen, tea in hand, her attendants scuttling behind her.

Snake slammed the rest of his coffee, making sure to note that even the stalest coffee here tasted better than the rations he was used to as he took his leave.

**Game Room**

In the basement with only the soundproof Core Machine Room beneath it resided one of the most popular sections of the Mansion, The Game Room. While technically a singular room, had multiple side rooms used for various manners of recreation. However, the main room, with the enormous wood-paneled big screen was where most of the action was. Whether that be gaming, movies, or watching sports, when a group wanted to watch something, this is where they came. Today, however, the main event was a raucous conquest of a dancing game.

“GO WEEGEE! GO WEEGEE!” Daisy cheered, while Travis Touchdown, and River City quartet, watched further back on a couch, the couples snuggled together

The man in green, Luigi, was cutting a virtual rug on the Mario Mix of Dance Dance Revolution, and he was off to a hot start.

_You can---come from--- anyone can play_

The normally aloof Luigi stared transfixed at the screen. He had to break Bayonetta’s record…he **had** to.

_And we---will come--- on the inside_

“It almost looks like he’s button-mashing, but he’s hitting everything,” Travis announced, while Kunio shushed him,

“Yeah,” agreed Kunio, “Like one of those TAS bots.”

“Nerrrrd” whispered Kyoko, playfully sticking his tongue out at him.

_And when---you get---right into the heart_

“YEAH! GET RIGHT INTO THAT HEART,” Daisy cheered, Luigi’s combo yet unbroken.

“I like how nobody shushes her,” pouted Travis,

“She’s his girlfriend, she can be hype. You’re just pointing out how he plays, and that’s obnoxious.” Riki growled, Misako snickering in response.

_You know- there’s no other way to cry_

_Smile will bring the sunshine days_

The refrain had started. Luigi felt good about this run. This was his moment.

_Comfort me tonight, with your wings tonight._

_Smile will bring the sunshine days_

_You come anyway, on the way you ride, on the way you riiiiiide._

The lyrics melted away, all that was left was him and the music. With almost lightning speed and mechanical precision, Luigi nailed every note exactly on time to the cheers of the onlookers. The refrain looped its first two lines. The change in lyrics had thrown Bayonetta off oh so briefly when she had eclipsed Marth’s old high score. He wouldn’t make that same mistake.

_A chance,_

_To have,_

_Flying that way,_

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,” screamed the onlookers at once, as Luigi nailed the fabled lyric change like it was nothing,

_As I fly._

_Across the distant sky,_

_Smile will bring the sunshine days_

_Comfort me tonight_

_With your wings tonight,_

_Smile will bring the sunshine days_

_You come anyway, on the way you ride_

A break in the lyrics allowed Luigi to hear the cheers of his audience. But the respite was brief, and Luigi swung into action for the final stretch

_Comfort me tonight, with your wings tonight,_

_You come anyway, on the way you ride,_

_You come anyway, on the way you ride._

The music stopped, and as the on-screen avatar of Mario flew the S.S Brass to Bowser’s Castle. As the game played a cheering sound effect to denote a cleared level, the cheers of his friends were much louder.

“CAN I CALL YOU A DANCING MASTER?” the game’s overzealous announcer asked as his score was tallied.

And that’s when Luigi saw it. The blessed green text that read **High Score**. Without thinking. Luigi threw his arms up. He had done it!

The cheers were even louder now, realizing what he had done.

“The beast…hath been conquered,” a winded Luigi declared.

Daisy threw her arms around Luigi in a bearhug, laughing and cheering as she did. Kyoko hugged Riki tighter at this, letting out a soft, “aww,”

“Whelp, ‘grats on that and everything, but this is getting a little too snuggly for my liking. I’m gonna go play pinball if anybody wants to join,” Travis declared, getting up to leave.

“LOOK AT THESE YOUNG PEOPLE AND THEIR DARN DANCING GAMES!”

Every head in the room turned to the entrance as Mister Game and Watch ambled through, Pacman following behind,

“IN MY DAY,” Game and Watch continued “IF YOU WANTED TO DANCE, YOU HAD TO GO TO A CLUB, AND HOPE SOMEBODY DIDN’T TRY TO DO THE CHARLESTON WITH YOUR GIRL.”

“The Charleston? Jesus, how old are you?” snickered Travis,

“RESPECT YOUR ELDERS YOUNG MAN!” screamed Game and Watch.

“I mean, you are right, not having to go to a club is pretty groovy,” interjected Pacman, his smooth, level voice radiating calm to the room, “You’re Travis right? I’ll take you up on that game of pinball man,” said the yellow man.

“I’ll try not to school ya too hard old man,” snickered Travis,

“We’ll school him for ya sir!” said Kyoko,

“No need young lady. Though, the last time I played pinball was at a prog rock concert in 1972. Woke up in a cornfield three towns over wearing someone else’s gloves, and wearing of somebody’s bellbottoms as a hat.”

“How?” asked a deeply confused Misako,

“That’s what happens when you accept a grilled cheese from a stranger.”

Pondering that, the group all got up to go to one of the side rooms, leaving Daisy and Luigi to ponder all they had seen

“Seven Stars, I love this place,” mused Luigi, a grin on his face.

“I loved watching you get a high score more,” Daisy purred, her eyes fluttering flirtatiously.

“But-a baby, I’m tired.”

“Oh? You’re sure you wanna sleep?” Daisy said, laying on the sultry voice even thicker, and swatting Luigi lightly on the butt.

Luigi wheezed for a split second, his cheeks turning cherry red, “Alright. You-a got me.”

“Great! Then to your room, we go!” Daisy shouted with a laugh, pulling Luigi by the hand out of the game room.

**Roof**

Sephiroth was one of the first people to exit the Smash Mansion after the meeting, wordlessly leaping from the courtyard to his usual post on the roof. He fancied himself a watchman and didn’t care what anyone thought of that. Mario and company must’ve known that too, as no one had complained to him.

It had given him time to understand the inner workings of this dimension. He quickly figured out that the weather changed so reliably he could set a metronome to it. That went for all other planetary functions too.

“Order, peace, resources. This is how it should be,” muttered Sephiroth to himself.

Closing his eyes, letting his head bow Sephiroth allowed the alien feeling of relief to wash over him.

As if on cue, something interrupted his peace. The flapping of wings.

“Sleeping on the job are we?”

The voice was shrill and scratchy, so annoying that the sound scratched at his skull. The One-Winged Angel opened his eyes to find Ridley hovering at his level, his gangly arms crossed, an indignant frown on his half-metallic mouth.

Sephiroth merely scowled at him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” snapped the creature, “I came to offer praise but..I’m rethinking that. When I heard about your reputation, a sleeping pretty boy isn’t what I expected.”.

Sephiroth stepped back, allowing Ridley a place to perch. The beast did so.

“My reputation? What might that be?”

“Quite an extraordinary one if I do say so myself,” cawed Ridley, a devilish grin forming on his face, “We have a few supposed villains on our roster, but only a few of us have ever done anything particularly evil. Your work is in line with mine. I killed a bunch of drifters, then I killed a bunch of bird people, and in doing so I killed the only two families Samus Aran ever had,” finished the leader of the Space Pirates, cackling with laughter.

“I’m assuming because I killed Strife’s parents, you see me as worthy?” Sephiroth asked, his tone flat and emotionless,

“Listen, if you shoot anything heated at a machine, some power source is bound to explode some way or another. But you? You burned down an entire town with no such power or allowances. That, my friend, is an artist paying attention to his work!”

“I see no art in it.”

For a second, Ridley’s maw hung agape, his eyes wide, before straightening back up, “Why not?”

“ I allowed my emotions to control my thinking.”

“So, you regret it?”

The silver-haired man shook his head, “No. One cannot have regrets. It is the weakness of a feeble heart, leading to people clawing at opportunities to change the past. Instead, one must realize what’s done is done, focus entirely on their ideals, and where the pieces may fall. Where the pieces fall then, is where your allegiance must lay.”

“Oh, you’re talking about this?” Ridley asked, gesturing to the grand mansion on which they stood, “This place has made you some kind of zen master?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but if my place on the winning team means an alliance with Cloud and refraining from killing anyone, I would do so.. You, you would kill anyone that annoyed you the very second that they did so, regardless. That’s the difference between you and I.”

The Cunning God of Death smiled wide, “If that’s what you think, then why do you think I haven’t killed Samus yet,”

Sephiroth turned his back to Ridley, “Because you’re afraid of her.”

Ridley’s smile wavered, his face contorting into an embarrassed frown. He snarled, “I thought you were made of sterner stuff. Yet you sit here and insult me. Very well. We’ll see how far that philosophical grandstanding gets you in the tournament.”

A small smirk tugged at Sephiroth’s lips, “So we shall.”

Ridley simply took off, flying into the horizon. Sephiroth let loose a sigh of relief, turning back to his post. Now he could watch the sky in peace.

**Courtyard**

Just below Sephiroth, a conversation was interrupted by Ridley’s abrupt takeoff. Samus, Sonic, Bayonetta, Isabelle, all set around one of the tables in the courtyard, with Pikachu on Samus’ shoulder.

“Hm. What do you think that was about?” asked Bayonetta, watching the Space Pirate take flight into the distance.

“Nothing good, I’m sure,” growled Samus,

“But hey,” Sonic said with a flippant shrug, “If the bad guys can’t get along, that’ll make our jobs a lot easier.”

Samus only grunted, not taking her eyes off Ridley as he flew further and further away.

Pikachu let out a sympathetic “Chaaa.”

Samus snapped out of her graze, grinning as she scratched her mouse companion where his ears met his skull, which caused Pikachu to let out a relaxed, peaceful breath, “I know I’ve got all of you buddy, and I’m thankful for that.”

“Wait,” Isabelle said, her pupils growing small with surprise, “You can understand him when he’s not using his translator?”

Samus nodded, “I took him under my care after we all fought Tabuu. When you spend enough time with someone, you pick up their language and their nonverbals.”

“Hey Belle,” Sonic said to Isabelle, “I wonder if that means I’ll pick up Animalese someday.”

Isabelle blushed underneath her fur, “O-oh. Maybe,” she stammered.

Bayonetta chuckled, “Why can’t you blush like that when I tease you, Sam?”

Isabelle shrunk in her seat at the call out. Samus, meanwhile, didn’t even break from petting Pikachu to say, “Because you’re not that good at it.”

“I think it’s more because you’re a big strong warrior. Which is what I like…oh so much about you,” Bayonetta flirtatiously purred

“So uh…” said an uncomfortably shifting Sonic, “You wanna see me run up the side of the Mansion Belle?”

Isabelle coughed, her latest breath sucked back into her lungs in shock, “I…that doesn’t sound safe Sonic.”

“I beat many a giant robot by throwing myself at them. I’ll be fine!”

Sonic got up, stretching his legs, eying the building. Taking one last deep breath, Sonic bolted, jumping feet first at the building, zooming up as he landed. Flying past a throng of bedroom windows, he finally got up to the Mansion’s roof, where Sephiroth stood.

“What on Earth?” asked the One-Winged Angel,

“Gotta speed keed. Remember, Team Chaotix is coming for ya!” he said, making finger guns as he dove off the building.

_Okay, now here’s the all-important dismount,_

Backflipping off the building, and tucking into a ball once the descent started, he noticed that the table at which his friends sat was coming in fast. He shifted his body, landing feet first on the table, immediately spotting Isabelle’s shocked expression.

“Woah…that was so cool!” squeaked Isabelle

Sonic smirked, “Eh, it was nothing.”

Samus chuckled, “The best part was the finger guns.”

“Wait…you saw that?” asked Bayonetta.

“Chozo DNA. I can see like a bird.”

“You truly are fascinating Samus Aran,” Bayonetta said, sighing dreamily and resting her hands on her chin.

“As are you Cereza,” Samus said with a wink.

Bayonetta’s flirtatious posture broke as she briefly sputtered, “Hey! Don’t call me that while we’re on the job!”

“This is work?” asked Isabelle, “This feels like a vacation.”

“Well, it will be until the tournament starts, not to mention whatever the villains have cooked up,” Samus explained.

“I’m concerned about that,” Isabelle said, “I’m not a fighter like all of you.”

“You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t think you could do it,” Samus explained

Isabelle nodded happily, “Thank you, Miss Aran. I wonder if the other newcomers feel the same way, overwhelmed and anxious?”

“I’m sure. It can be overwhelming no matter who you are,” explained Sonic.

Isabelle nodded again, “I’m sure you’re right,” said the secretary.

**The Forest**

“So let me get this straight,” began the Villager at the conclusion of Link’s newest tale, “You can fuel your motorcycle with…apples?”

“Yeah, more efficient to fuel than the original Master Cycle Mario built for me which requires a spellcaster who knows the proper enchantment, though I’ll always be grateful to him for it,” said Link.

“Pardon me but…what is a motorcycle?” piped up Erdrick from the back of the line.

He, The Links, Zelda, and Villager were walking through the forest to get to the river which ran through it, as it was Villager’s favorite spot to fish.

“It’s like…um…do you have Bunny Hoods where you’re from?” inquired Young Link.

“’ Fraid not,” said Erdrick with a shake of his head.

“They are modes of transport. Think a horse-drawn carriage, but with no need for horses, and faster than a Rampage,” Zelda interjected.

“What in the name of Xenlon?” gasped Erdrick,

“Marvels like that become second nature in time,” assured Toon Link, “Why, where I come from is almost entirely water, so I had to get used to the concept of excessive land travel itself “

The way Erdrick slumped back to a less-jagged neutral posture showed that a world of anxiety had been lifted off his shoulders, “Ah, so truly I am not alone.”

“Truly!” responded Zelda and Young Link together,

“Hey Zel,” Toon Link asked, “How did you know that, about Erdrick’s homeworld?”

“I looked up the bestiary of his homeworld in the library when Link informed me of his arrival.”

“Ah. I’ll have to borrow it someday. I doubt I’ve seen every beast my world has to offer,” Erdrick said with an appreciative nod.

Zelda opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the Smasher leading the pack, The Villager

“This is the place,” he spoke.

And so, it stood before them, a well-built deck, presiding over a crystal clear lake. Birds and bugs alike chirped happily around them, the water sloshing occasionally to make the presence of an excited fish. 

“Wow, when did this dock get here?” asked a stunned Toon Link.

Villager shrugged, “I built it before we all left last time. Consider it a donation to the Smashers from the people of Smashville.”

“Hey Villager,” interjected Young Link, “Why do you call your town Smashville if none of the Smashers live there?”

Villager chuckled, “I didn’t build it, my predecessor, Tortimer did.”

“Yes. I remember meeting the old man,” Zelda recalled, “It was the first time Smash was used as a multi-dimensional political summit. He was there despite not having a Smash representative from his world. Master Hand was quite fascinated by how your people lived. Those qualities were represented in Mister Tortimer Well-poised kind, almost as if he were everyone’s next-door neighbor, despite being a man of status. Weren’t there other people from your world in attendance?”

“I think K.K, Tom Nook, and Resetti, were invited to spectate back in Melee. He rechristened the town as soon as he got back. He saw Smash as a place that interconnected many people of different types, and he wanted to emulate that in his town. At least, that’s the town gossip.” explained the Mayor.

“Is it true what I heard, that Otis and Mikey are from there too?” asked Toon Link as the other three set up their poles along the dock.

“Not ‘from’ there necessarily,” Villager explained, “But that’s their residence now. Lots of people got displaced by the Subspace Emissary, and so when I learned about this I opened Smashville up to refugees. That’s how I met Otis, Mikey, The Wild Gunmen, The Excitebike Troupe, and the guy we got our Balloon Fighting training from.”

“Wait, what happened to Tortimer?” asked Young Link, who was now setting up his pole.

Villager followed Young Link’s lead, setting up his pole as he spoke, “Old man retired and lives on a private island.”

Young Link simply nodded as Villager cast his fishing line into the water, “Oh, by the way, it’s catch and release guys. We’ve got plenty of food and nowhere to store live fish.”

The others nodded in unanimous agreement.

It was mostly silent for the next few minutes, each angler caught in their thoughts. Suddenly, Erdrick’s spool began to spin fast. Erdrick quickly grabbed his fishing rod, but collapsed to the ground underneath the pull of the fish, being pulled further and further down the deck.

“I got it!” screamed Erdrick, “ **OOMPH** ”

A red flash of light erupted from Erdrick, a red aura surrounding him. He stood up, the rod still in hand, and pulled back on the rod. Like a dolphin erupting from the ocean, a mammoth green fish erupted from the water and flew through the air.

“HOLY-!” screamed the Link kids as they watched the scene unfold.

 **“ACCELERATE!”** screamed Erdrick

This time, the red aura mixed with a green aura, Erdrick running towards the end of the dock, and sliding on his knees just in time to catch the enormous fish, and bolted down the dock, throwing it aways out into the water.

The rest of the gang’s mouths were agape in shock, the silence broken by a screaming Villager “THAT WAS AN ARPAIMA!”

“A what? Did I do something wrong?” asked a bashful Erdrick, his colorful auras fading.

“THAT’S THE BIGGEST FISH IN THE RIVER!” Villager continued, his voice now a hoarse squeak.

“THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN!” shouted Toon Link.

“H-how did you do…any of that?” Zelda asked, sputtering from shock.

“Oh, there are spells I can cast on myself. Ooomph makes me stronger, Accelerate makes me faster.”

“Hm, so I see. It’ll be interesting to see how you put your magic spells to use in the tournament,” Zelda said.

“Likewise Princess Zelda! I can’t wait to test my skill in front of everyone,” Erdrick explained eagerly.

Suddenly, the attention on Erdrick was broken by Villager's line tensing.

“I might not be able to top you Erdrick, but watch how an expert fisherman does it,” boasted The Villager.

Pulling and grunting, he fought the spool of his fishing rod. Sweating, and hoping to whatever fishing gods there were that the line didn’t snap, he retracted the line with all his might, finally giving it the final pull, and…

Villager didn’t notice what he’d fished out until the group surrounded it.

“A…colored egg?” asked Zelda, confused, holding up the rainbow painted egg for everyone else to see.

“Is it a fish egg?” asked Link

Villager found his way into the circle, frowning down at his latest catch, “Zipper.”

“What?” asked Erdrick,

“He’s a bunny, or at least a guy in a costume, from my world who pollutes the river with eggs around Bunny Day so people can get the prizes inside at the end of the festival.”

“Is that sanitary?” asked Zelda, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

“I mean, I guess. No one’s ever gotten sick,”

“How does he do it?” asked Link.

“That’s the thing. No one’s ever seen him do it, so it could be anything from hidden scuba gear to reality-warping magic.”

“If it’s magic, then I shall help you investigate it, ” Zelda proclaimed.

“Princess please…” began The Villager, cut off by Zelda once again.

“No, it _must_ be magic. How did he get to the dimension, much less on the Mansion grounds?”

“ Your Highness, normally I would take up your investigative efforts with no hesitation. However, I can’t lie to you. I lost sleep over it my first two Bunny Day festivals as Mayor, and I don’t intend to ever again,” warned the Villager, his eyes suddenly completely devoid of life.

And without a word, the group went back to fishing.

**Smash Park**

“TAG! YOU’RE IT!” proclaimed Elizabeth.

“Damn it! This girl’s good! Faster than you Lemmy!” Bowser Junior said, the last part in a singing voice.

“Shut it, ya damn motorhead! We’ll get ‘em in Koopaling vs non-Koopaling dodgeball!” declared Lemmy

Some distance away, on the park’s sole bench, sat Subject Zero, bathrobe flowing pleasantly in the wind. He was supervising his young ward, Elizabeth, as she, Ness, Lucas, Cuphead, and Megaman battled the Koopalings in a game of tag, with Piranha Plant, Otis, and Mikey all sunbathing a safe distance away. At first, he’d been apprehensive about Elizabeth playing tag with spiked reptiles, but the Koopalings had been gentle with her, despite appearing to be competitive brats at first glance. They also were a bit too sailor-mouthed than he liked, though he was sure she’d heard him cuss a few times, and she hadn’t repeated any of it, so he supposed it was fine.

Suddenly, a booming voice interrupted, “THERE YOU RODENTS ARE!”

Bowser stomped up to the bench, taking a seat next to Subject Zero, which dwarfed the amount he had to sit on considerably.

“Yep! It’s like you say, Daddy, play fair amongst potential allies!” Wendy chirped.

“That’s my girl! I didn’t mean to interrupt, continue your game,” pridefully chortled the enormous king.

The game continued, the grownups sitting in silence for a second, before Bowser stuck out an engulfing clawed hand, “Name’s Bowser, King of the Koopas, how ya doing?”

Tentatively, Subject Zero returned it, Bowser slowly closing the hand, and shaking it.

“Huh, got a grip there pal,” Bowser remarked,

Suddenly, Bowser’s gaze snapped over to Elizabeth, who was currently running away from a lumbering Morton.

“She’s yours?” asked Bowser.

“In a sense, yes.”

“Ah, adoption. Lotsa people think I adopted all mine, but nope. Seven wives.”

Subject Zero simply nodded.

“Turns out, when you’re a king, you’re the most eligible bachelor in town, even if the girl you really want is off-limits.”

“Who’s that?”

“Peach,” snarled Bowser,

“Mario’s girl?”

Bowser sighed, steam erupting from his nostrils, “Yeah. Me ‘n her were childhood friends. Always sorta thought it was meant to be, but when I heard she was meant to be married off to a prince of Sarasaland, I kinda..well…I snapped?”

“Snapped? “

“Kidnapped her.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’ve tried a couple of times, actually, and some mayhem always separates us again, whether it be Mustache or somebody else.”

“And yet, you eat at their table?”

“I do. They’ve shown me more kindness than I ever could deserve. I only do it now when the citizens are down my throat about somethin’ I’m doing or I’m alone with my thoughts for too long. They know that now though. Last time was super bad though. Blew most of the treasury on an extravagant wedding for us. But when Peach walked away from us after we threw down, he comforted me. He’s a good man. I’m happy for ‘em.”

Suddenly, they heard a loud ‘oof’, followed by Larry hooting, “Ooof, leg sweep.”

Both parents turned to see Morton thrashing on his shell, with Elizabeth standing triumphantly over him.

“MORTON!” roared Bowser, “WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PARRYING! WAX ON, WAX OFF YOU LITTLE TURD!”  
“Dad!” whined Morton, “We’ve watched that movie from Mac’s universe like thirty times and I’m no better at karate.”

“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” mocked Bowser, “Kids! Help him up. Also, make sure to eat your dessert in front of him at dinner tonight and mock him extra hard, because he is grounded!”

“Yes Daddy…” grumbled Morton

Bowser caught a glimpse of Subject Zero, his eyes wide with shock, “You gotta treat ‘em with tough love,” explained the Koopa King

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You’d better,” Bowser snarled, “Though, your girl’s a toughie. She’ll survive just fine. Thanks for listenin’ to me rant by the way.”

“It’s not a problem Bowser,” muttered Subject Zero.

Bowser’s eyes softened. Luckily, Zero was already looking away, because he reckoned he’d have looked away if he’d been making eye contact.

“Listen, some of the dads and I throw a barbeque after the first round’s over, we started it last year. You wanna get in on it?”

Subject Zero shrugged, “Sure.”

Bowser was about to open his mouth to say more, but was cut off by the approaching sound of a motorcycle engine.

“HEY PORKY! WANNA GO BOWLING FOR SOME KIDS WITHOUT MOMS?” screamed Wario.

Subject Zero immediately bolted to his feet but felt Bowser clamp a hand on his shoulder, “Tough love,” sagely reminded the Koopa King.

Cuphead jumped into the air, screaming, “ENERGY BEAM!” spraying what seemed like a gallon of milk all over the ground. Porky, who was running just behind Wario’s motorcycle, hung back. Unfortunately for Wario, it was too late, as The Wario bike slid on the enormous puddle, knocking him off it.

The kids pointed and laughed. Piranha Plant ran towards the scene, growling and looking for a fight, but Junior simply held out his hand to motion “stay” and, with one whiney growl, Piranha Plant did so.

Finally regaining his composure, Wario stood up as red as a beet, picking up his bike, mumbling, “This isn’t over. I’ll see you shrimps in the training room.”

“Mister Wario, if Cuphead hadn’t been there, you woulda pancaked those losers, because they’re WEAK!” shouted Iggy, to which all the Koopalings nodded in agreement.

“Weak? Like you Herbs woulda done any better without me!” shouted Cuphead.

“We will! And you’ll see that when we join Mister Wario and Mister Porky in the training room during physics week,” sneered Wendy

“You royal runts are glad I owe yer father a few favors, or else you’d be right there with ‘em.”

“Nevermind cottage cheese ass over there, we are OUT Koopa Kids. We’ve got walls to paint on. To Team Chaotix’s room!” Bowser Junior declared as he, the other Koopalings and Piranha Plant scampered off,

Just as Subject Zero went to tend to Elizabeth, he heard an obnoxious sniffle, and Bowser say, “That’s my boy,”

“Elizabeth, are you alright?” asked Subject Zero, kneeling down to the little girl’s level.

“Yeah! At first, I was scared, but then I realized Ness, Lucas, and Cuphead good, brave kids, so they’ll protect me!” she said in her usual upbeat tone as if nothing had happened.

Subject Zero smiled, “Good, after all that, I think you deserve some ice cream.”

“Yay!” cheered Elizabeth as they began their walk to the Smash Mansion together, hand in hand.

**Brawl Caves**

Tucked away in the deepest part of The Smash Forest was an unassuming, dark system of caves. However, if a Smasher had been in the know long enough, they knew exactly what these caves meant.

It always seemed that whenever something got Master Hand in a particularly irritable mood, he would make the guilty party run a gauntlet against computerized versions of their Smash Brothers colleagues This was more difficult than what was the standard training gauntlet, dubbed “Classic Mode” as everyone was fought back to back in five rounds, in an order that seemingly only made sense to The Hands, with minimal healing items, and failure meant starting all over again. While this had been a “wacky family tradition” as Mario would later go on to call it, the rest areas for these gauntlets had been outdoor, serene places, the park in the Melee tournament, or the alternation between Smash Mountain and The Grand Canal in the Duel tournament.

The lone exception was the Brawl tournament’s location for the event, the caves.

Feeling particularly grumpy that year, which in hindsight was probably due to knowledge of the impending Subspace Conflict, Master Hand demanded that Sonic, who had made one wiseass comment too many at the opening meeting, was made to hike the forest and do his training in the almost completely dark solace that affectionately be known as the Brawl Caves.

Even after Brawl Caves were no longer used for their original purpose, Ganondorf, King of Gerudos, would continue to spend time here. A desert dweller who often traveled great lengths, caves were a sanctuary he was intimately familiar with. But, his solitude didn’t last long. Donkey Kong had barged in one day, before the Duel tournament looking for rocks to smash. His claim that he could smash rocks better than The King of Evil, had irked Ganondorf, awaking some childish need to prove him wrong. Rumors had spread, as they do, and the Rock Crushing Competition entered its first year as an invitational. The Kongs, King K. Rool, Little Mac, Doc Lewis, and Incineroar had all shown up. Each person had multiple rocks, each marked with a haphazard paint job of a streak by the middle by Diddy Kong.

“Gentlemen, we know why we’re all here. We all know the rules. Whoever does the cleanest split of a rock wins the contest,” explained the King of Evil.

“We’ll go first,” Doc Lewis piped up.

Ganondorf sneered, “We? This isn’t a team affair Mister Lewis.”

“I know that! We’ve just been sparring whenever we get the chance, and we need to finish it off.”

Ganondorf sneered deeper, opening his mouth to deliver an angry protest, but Incineroar piped in, “Uh… if it’s all the same brother, I’m gonna need to hulk up too.”

Ganondorf’s demeanor softened, though he seemed annoyed rather than uproariously angry, “Do you three have any objections?”

None came from the Donkey Kong Island trio.

“Alright, you may begin.”

Little Mac and Doc stepped up to the rock, painted green to resemble the underdog boxer’s signature shorts. Briskly, Doc Lewis slapped Mac. Mac beckoned for another, and then another. Ganondorf grinned while the others flinched. He understood what they were doing. Mac, meanwhile, stood poised, his right hand flashing before uppercutting the rock down the middle. The crocodile king flinched, but the others remained still. They’d witnessed the Star Uppercut in the Duel tournament, even if Mac’s showing overall was underwhelming. It was nothing to mess with. The Kremling King ambled forward next, one hand gloved in a boxing glove, drawing the first back, and Smashing the rock clean in half as Mac had, except it was slower to break and even slower to fall to the side. He snarled in Mac’s direction as if to goad him into beating his record, but Mac stood firm, not taking eyes off the King Cremling. Donkey Kong stepped forward, winding up his signature Giant Punch. DK snapped to a neutral stance, his eyes bearing an angry fire, his teeth gritted into a rage. Reeling back, Donkey Kong connected with the rock, the piece of foundation split into four pieces. Ganondorf himself sauntered up next to the sounds of DK’s friends still applauding his effort. The applause stopped when Ganondorf turned his back to his piece to his target, cocking his dominant arm back, dark energy pulsating in his hand, shifting on his toes to face the rock. He didn’t quite understand the logic behind it, but something about using one’s muscles to pivot while channeling the energy like this made it channel more. And as his fist slammed into the rock, it shattering into a million pieces, and even more when those pieces flew and broke among the cave wall.

“I concede,” Diddy barked, his eyes wide with shock.

Ganondorf cackled. The laughter stopped, however, when Incineroar sauntered up to him.

“Hit me, pump me up,” seethed Incineroar

A Warlock Punch later, and it was like hitting steel. Incineroar’s veins were more visible now, outlined by fire, and the big cat was smirking.

“C’mon. You can do better than that,” snarled Incineroar.

Ganondorf turned his back to him, hitting his Charged Warlock Punch. Again, steel. Veins were even more defined now.

Donkey Kong laughed at Heel Pokemon’s lack of flinching, “Oh? Like you roodypoos could do any better.”

Kong charged his Giant Punch again, firing off while sprinting towards Incineroar. More of the same.

Mac launched forward, his fist burning red from a straight lunge. More of the same.

Diddy charged his jetpack, quickly throwing himself to the ground and unstrapping himself from it, ensuring the jetpack flew right into Incineroar. As he had done with all the others, Incineroar simply puffed out his chest, tanking the explosion. Incineroar had a mad, wide smile on his face, snarling, “I’m ready now,”

Incineroar picked up his boulder, throwing it. The ropes of a wrestling ring appeared, and the rock bounced off of them. Bring his arm up and out, the wrestler cat’s beefy arm collided with the rock, and behind him, all the other spare rocks melted into molten slag. Staring up, smirking at his slackjawed competition, Incineroar simply asked, “Do you smell what I’m cookin’?” sauntering out of the caves.

**The Grand Canal**

The Grand Canal was about halfway up Smash Mountain. This was where the Smashverse’s water supply was filtered, some of it going down to the lake, some of it being filtered to the underground pipes to the rest of Smash City for all the things people needed water for. However, the walking path near it served as a meeting place among the Smashers, and was typically a peaceful place, unless…

“WHY IS SHE ALWAYS LATE?” roared Charizard

“Why are you always so impatient?” Ivysaur grumbled

Charizard huffed, a burst of flame jutting into the air, “Hey, shut up you old grouch!”

“Enough,” Red, the owner of the three Pokemon muttered just loudly enough for them to hear, “And Squirtle, quit making faces at your brothers.”

Ivysaur and Charizard turned to look in at their youngest cohort, Squirtle, who was in fact in the middle of making a goofy face, his mouth stretched wide with assistance from his paws, tongue out, much in the same way one would make a small child laugh. Squirtle let out a grunt of shock, realizing he’d been caught, sheepishly slinking back in embarrassment

Red found himself zoning out oh so briefly but was snapped to reality by a familiar voice behind him.

“Ah, so you’re here.”

Red smirked, “I’m here because I’ve been waiting for you Green,”

He heard Green begin to say something in protest, but the noise got caught in her throat, resulting in a grunt. A beat of silence before she quietly spoke up, “Am I…late again?” she asked.

“I mean, yeah,” Red said with a flippant shrug, “But we like being here.”

“And that makes three of us,” grumbled Charizard

Green stomped her foot in annoyed protest, “Hey! Be nice!” she shouted, “I like this place too. I get sentimental about it a lot because this is the place where we…”

“Qualified,” interrupted Red, his expression suddenly becoming grim.

As a result of the Duel tournament, memberships of some of the Smashers came into question. The Ice Climbers had outright quit when they found out Master Hand was to resume his post as if nothing had happened in the Subspace conflict, and Red had recommended his childhood friend, Green, who unlike Red, had traveled to multiple regions to become champion of the whole world. Unbeknownst to Red, however, Master Hand didn’t particularly appreciate Pokemon trainers, especially one that had operated so dismally in his tournament, opting to bring back only Charizard, because of the quartet, he’d sold the most merchandise. While the critique of his performance was justified (he had lost in rather convincing fashion to Ike in the first round), he thought that another chance was warranted. Master Hand had agreed, if the two could win a “Two against the world” version of All-Star, with one elimination resulting in the firing of them both. They had completed the challenge with healing items to spare.

“Man, I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to have aced a challenge in my life!” said Green.

“Yeah, for sure!” agreed Squirtle,

“Yeah…” Green mumbled

She noticed she was zoning out when Charizard huffed another jet of flame into the air with a grunt of annoyance. Green chuckled to herself. Whenever she was here, she caught herself staring at the ambiance of the place. Suddenly, her gaze snapped something, on a pillar to their right, pointing up at what she saw, “Look! The statues from when we defeated everyone are still there!”

Red followed her gaze, and sure enough, the Duel tournament participants were emblazoned in figurines, each figurine given its own hollowed-out space in the stone pillar.

“ Those look so clean I almost wonder if they’re gonna use the space again. What do you think?” Red asked.

Green shook her head, “No. All-Star was more of Master Hand’s thing. Seems like Mario’s _modus operandi_ is to punish people with Battlefield training. Torri heard from someone about the dance party people before it even broke in the meeting.”

Red chuckled, “She’s one to gossip is she?”

“Yeah!” said Green with a similar chuckle, “She talks to everybody.”

Charizard suddenly roared, “Oh enough! Show us your Pokemon Green!”

“Aw get hit by Pound Charizard!” Squirtle whined, a deep frown on his usually happy face, “I like it when Red and Green talk together. Feels like home you know?”

“Plus you could stand to not be such a jerk,” grumbled Ivysaur.

“As much as I hate to say it, Charizard is right,” said Green, her hands moving to the three Pokeballs on her belt, “I kept them secret from you, and now it’s time!”

Green, now with her Pokeballs nestled in her arms, spread her arms wide, “GUYS! GO!”

The balls traveled a few inches in front of her, each opening to reveal their contents. The first two were humanoid in form, a skinny blue lizard who stood with his arms crossed, and a lean yet muscular white bunny with an orange lower half in a karate stance. The most visually striking was an enormous green gorilla who wielded a drum, twirling his drum sticks idly. Upon seeing the situation, the bunny’s eyes went wide, “Green, is this…?”

“Yep Cinderace,” Green said, pumping her fist in the air, “This is Red,”

The lizard chuckled, “Kanto Pokemon? Interesting to say the least.”

Green attempted to interject with an “Inteleon, be polite,” but it was too late. Charizard's eyes were already rife with anger, his body tense

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!” roared The Flame Pokemon, flapping his wings violently.

Suddenly, a puff of smoke erupted between the two parties, Greninja standing in its wake, “Enough,” growled Greninja

“Greninja’s right Charizard, save it for the arena,” Red scolded his ward.

Suddenly, another voice rang out, “Ah! And so it is Master Greninja who has lost the contest!”

Fluttering down to meet them from seemingly nowhere, twirling his sword like a helicopter blade Yoshimitsu was among them, landing behind next to Greninja, Green yelped out in shock, “How long have you been here? _Why_ are you here?”

“A stealth competition. I invited the other ninjas out to see who could scope the area the longest. It seems I’ve won,” chided yet another voice.

Emerging from beside a statue of Wario in the statue pillar, Ryu Hayabusa jumped down to meet the ever-growing ensemble.

“Perhaps I underestimated you, being merely human,” Yoshimitsu chuckled, “But it appears you were the best ninja of us at this moment.”

“Shall we scope out a location for round two? Winner picks,” Ryu challenged his fellow ninjas.

Yoshimitsu gasped, mockingly, which caused Greninja’s eyes to narrow, “Zounds!” yelled the bizarre masked man, “So I must adapt once again to the complexities of this modern world. No matter! This time, I shall reign supreme!”

Hayabusa simply shrugged, turning to walk away, Greninja followed briefly, turning to stop to growl, “Don’t count on it, mon ami,” as the two losing ninjas departed the Canal together.

All eight stood in complete bewilderment, with Red finally breaking the silence, “So you went to Galar it looks like. How’d you like it?”

Green shrugged, “Interesting Pokemon, good food, but they have a stadium dynamic for even gym leaders, so doing everything in front of a live audience can be confusing.”

Suddenly, the gorilla pounded on his drum, “Oi! You might not like it girly, but, I thrive in fronta of an audience. Tis why I’ve been askin’ bout this place ever since ye told us ‘bout it.”

Green smirked, casting a sideways glance at her old friends, “I know you do Rillaboom,”

The eight stood in silence for a while, taking in the peace of the ninja-less Canal, before Ivysaur spoke up, “Wait, you’re all Final Evos? Thought the rule was to rep each spot in the evolutionary family, which is why you had Froakie, Braxien, and Chesnaught last time.”

Again, Green shrugged, but Rillaboom was the one who explained, “That Mario fella visited us in Galar ‘fore the tournament started he did, said we all looked too interestin’ to pass up.”

“And,” interjected Inteleon, “We fit the light, heavy, medium dynamic, unlike all you Kanto tubs of goo.”

“Tubs of goo??? Why I oughta…”

“Charizard, no!” Red barked, to which, again, Charizard relented,

“That reminds me. How are your Kalos family?” Ivysaur asked, looking bemusedly at his winged companion as he sulked

Green giggled, “Giving Professor Oak a hell of a time on his farm, along with all my other Pokemon. I wanted to take them with me, thought I’d stop faffing around...”

“Faffing?” Red asked, an eyebrow raised.

“It’s a Galar expression, like ‘screwing’,” said Green, “Anyway, thought I’d stop screwing around and go for the League right away, but they have bizarre import rules, and I couldn’t take them with me.”

“Ta keeps the soil pure, it’s what me grandfather always said,” Rillaboom barked, pounding his chest.

“In case you haven’t noticed, idiot, it isn’t wartime anymore,” Ivysaur growled.

“Tell that to Parliament old man,” Inteleon mumbled, smirking.

“Regardless, I’m glad to test my mettle against other Pokemon from other places. Galar has a bad reputation because of its restrictions, but I want to prove them wrong, with everyone’s help,” shouted a determined Cinderace.

“Mm-hm!” Green agreed, her eyes lighting up, “And we’re gonna run drills to get ready in the forest. You down for joining us Red?”

“I mean, it’s up to them,” said Red, turning to his crew, “Guys?”

Squirtle let out an enthusiastic, “Yay!” while Ivysaur simply nodded, while Charizard crossed his arms, “Prepare to be outdone, pricks.”

Green’s gaze snapped to her team, who all were deeply frowning out the dragon, “Guys, simmer down, it’s Charizard, he’s just…like that.”

“If ye say so lass,” Rillaboom growled, “We’ll show ‘im what’s up in the ring,”

“Guys, enough dilly-dallying, let’s head out,” commanded Green.

And so, the group of eight headed down the stairs of the canal, each looking forward to the tournament ahead.

**Smash Mountain, Base**

“Say, Nana, what was our record climbing this thing last time?” Popo asked as he gazed up at the mountain, rubbing his chin in thought.

Nana mirrored her partner’s gesture, “Well, the last time we climbed a mountain in a foreign dimension, we did it in three minutes, and that was with extenuating circumstances going on.”

Popo shuddered. He remembered the fear of being amongst the Subspace Emissary. He remembered concluding with Nana that the best thing they could do was what they’d knew, climb the mountain, dodging Subspace enemies the entire way up, before being challenged by Meta-Knight Popo had never seen something as heavy as the combined might of The Halberd and The Great Fox crash into a mountain before the Subspace conflict. He didn’t know there was a force mighty enough to shatter a mountain top.

“Yeah,” nervously shuddered Popo,

Nana raised an eyebrow, “You okay?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“You need me to take point on this one?”

“That’d be great.”

And so, as they’d done a million times before, they ascended the mountain, bouncing from ledge to ledge, Nana in the lead, Popo in the back. They’d never questioned their ability to leap mountains in a double-digit number of bounds when it took most normal folks they knew days to complete a similar task. Since they were children, the old stories had been grated into them by the elders. Legends of their home tribe, the Nakatsuka Tribe, said that once every century, the ice god Uemura bestowed superhuman strength on one man and one woman to serve as the protector of the tribe from the monsters that also made their home on the simply named Icicle Mountain. So they’d been chosen, and so they did, day in, day out. That was until The Smashers had come calling. Master Hand said knew Uemura personally and had chosen him upon his recommendation. While this was interesting in theory, Master Hand’s patent for nonchalant deceit had been shown to know no bounds, which is why they’d left in the first place…

“HEY!” shouted Nana, snapping Popo out of it as they both continued the assent, “Eyes up front! There might not be any Topis, but we can’t afford to get lazy.”

“Got it!”

Onward and upward the Ice Climbers went. Popo took brief note of the many cave systems that seemed to dot their ascent before snapping his gaze back to his pink-clad beacon of salvation should the worst occur. After a few minutes of silence, Nana shouted, “Think we’re about to reach the peak! Snow’s getting thicker!”

“Like I don’t know what a mountain peak feels like!” retorted Popo.

“Never hurts to review the basics!”

“Yeah, how often do you review basic arithmetic?”

“You know what I mean! Can’t afford to…”

“…Get lazy, right!”

Three more leaps and Nana made the call, “Peak inbound!”

“No condors?”

“No condors.”

One leap, two, three, four leaps…

“Here’s the big one!” shouted Nana!”

The Ice Climbers simultaneously bent their knees, making the biggest leap of all to the snowy peak of the mountain. Their eyes widened in shock as they saw what waited for them.

“Lucario!” both Climbers gasped simultaneously as they landed

Lucario, eyes closed and arms crossed, grinned slightly. Popo observed his perfectly blue fur. He hadn’t been there long.

“Are you surprised to see me?”

“No, but…usually we have mountain tops to ourselves when we come here.”

“That’s what I thought during the Subspace conflict, and what I thought today.”

Popo confusedly raised an eyebrow, “Funny, I was just thinking about the Subspace on my way up here.”

Lucario grunted lightheartedly, “I know, he told me.”

“He?” Nana asked

“I did,” growled a familiar voice.

Out from behind Lucario stepped Mewtwo, with a displeased look in his eyes.

“Mewtwo? What’re you doing here?” asked Popo.

“I get kicked out of the cave I like to frequent once a tournament so the stupid Neanderthals can have their rock crushing competition.”

“Rock crushing? Sounds fun!” Popo cheered a big smile on his face at the prospect of such an event.

“Hmph, I should’ve known,” Mewtwo grunted in his usual haughty way.

Popo glanced at Nana, who suddenly had a very concerned look on her face, “Mewtwo, are you cold?” asked the female mountaineer.

“No!” snapped Mewtwo.

“You have to be!” Nana protested, “You’re nothing but skin and bone.”

“I…”

“No Mewtwo, if you come up here, you have to have a coat on. I’ll even knit you one if you’d like.”

“She’s knit a ton of stuff before for the other Smashers, it’ll be great!” Popo insisted, his smile becoming bigger and more forced

“You intend to persist the issue until I submit. For that reason, and for that reason only, I’ll allow it.”

“Yay!” Nana cheered.

Lucario chuckled, “Wonderful. Now you can stop using me as a snow shield.”

“Mhmm, whatever,” grumbled Mewtwo, telekinetically manipulating the snow to make a snowball.

“Well Mewtwo, we shan’t waste any time. Back down we go!”

Popo sputtered in protest at his partner’s sudden shift, “W-what? But we just got here!”

 **“** Popo, you don’t understand,” hissed Nana, burning desire in her eyes, “A poor animal needs to keep warm,”

“Oh!” Popo shouted, dramatically throwing his hands in the air, “The poor animal that’s controlling a snowball _with his mind_ needs a sweater knitted with love?”

“Um…yeah,” the pink parka-ed Ice Climber guffawed with a mocking perplexion, “Why do you have to say it like that?”

“Fine...” grumbled Popo, turning to hop back down the mountain with his partner.

Before the duo jumped down, Nana shouted, “We’ll have that sweater for you on the double!” the word ‘double’ hanging in the air as they descended.

There was a moment of silence before Mewtwo piped in, “I wanted to throw that snowball at them so, so badly.”

“I know,” Lucario said with a nod, “But you’ve already got an intimidating aura as is, so it wouldn’t kill you to be nicer.”

The wind whistled as Mewtwo hung his head, absorbing his friend’s advice.

“Hm, perhaps you’re onto something. I’m already good with the kids, the adults…not so much.”

“That may be a starting point,” Lucario said with a nod, “Invite someone to the cave after the first round.”

“That may be interesting. I’ll consider the matter. Thank you for the advice…and warmth.”

“I’m happy to help,” Lucario mumbled

And with that, Mewtwo teleported off the mountain. To his room? To the caves? Lucario couldn’t sense his aura.

_Hmmm, would it kill me to be nicer too? I’ve been quite mean to the Phantom Thieves,_

And with that, Lucario spent the day meditating, contemplating the next move.

**“Duel Ball” Arena**

Once, while perusing the Mansion’s voluminous, but woefully underused library, Robin had found a quote, attributed to a man’s name he could not remember, that read “Genius means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way.” No place on the property embodied that phrase so masterfully than where he stood, the “Duel Ball Arena.” 

The story went that, one day, for reasons beyond the understanding of even the Smashers who claimed to know the old leader best, Master Hand had decided to revamp Target Test, a much-beloved training simulator in which one completed an obstacle course while destroying clay disks with bullseyes on them, aiming to not only destroy the targets, but to do it faster than everyone else, and revamped it into a game in which you lobbed a bomb at a tower of crates, hoping to cause the most destruction in two turns.

According to the older Smashers, many training simulators had gone by the wayside in the history of Smash Bros, Board the Platforms, Trophy Rush, Race to the Finish, or knocking falling trophies into a hoop atop Smash City’s largest building, The Trophy Hotel. But Target Test was an _institution damn it_ , a popular joke phrase which began life being bellowed out in all seriousness by Luigi when the Duel participants had learned of Target Test’s end. While the other veteran Smashers hadn’t been quite as dramatic as the cowardly ghostbuster about it, it was certainly a sentiment that was shared in the grumbles of men and women stuck in their ways. Wanting to give the new training exercise a fair try instead of griping about it, it didn’t take many practice attempts for Robin to realize it was a puzzle of inertia and momentum. Attacking the bomb was part of the equation, but of equal importance was _how_ the player hit it. Hit it low to take out the foundation? Bounce it off the back wall for vertical and horizontal distance? All valid strategies. Combining all these, Robin had established a score that was yet to be beaten, and when others came close, it was usually because of dumb luck. Robin had been a semi-finalist in the Duel tournament, losing to Cloud Strife, and while the placement was a source of pride for the white-haired mage, depending on how sentimental he was feeling when asked, his utter dominance at the game that had affectionately been coined “Duel Ball” could eek into first place on the list of his proudest moments as a Smasher.

“This is it father,” came the voice of his wife Lucina from behind them.

Suddenly, the wall behind the former host of Grima slid upward, Lucina and Chrom stepping out of the dark tunnel, the secret door descending shut when everyone had cleared it

Lucina latched onto Robin’s arm while Chrom, hands on his hips, a bemused smirk on his face observed the block structure, which had stood since the end of the Duel Tournament, and the bare bones colosseum which held the event. Chrom let out an impressed whistle of approval, “So, this is where my son in law’s ‘Fire Emblem’ moment took place?”

Uncharacteristically, Robin sputtered, blushing, “I…I hardly think acing a training exercise compares with finding the Fire Emblem, of all things.”

Chrom blew a raspberry, along with a dismissive handwave. Robin quickly cast a glance at Lucina, who was vibrating in an attempt not to erupt into laughter.

“Is there a point to your childishness _Dad_?” teased Robin.

Chrom laughed, “ I was just going to say that we all have our heroic moments. Even more impressive if they are many feats, which requires many different skills. You, son, embody that. It’s why you were very nearly the champion.”

Robin nodded, “But I won’t have truly conquered this subject until I beat Sir Strife.”

“You can do it!” barked Chrom, the suddenness of which snapped Lucina out of a solemn look at the ground.

“You think so?”

“You conquered Grima, didn’t you? You united Lucina with all of us after the Duel Tournament. There isn’t anything you can’t do.”

Robin thought for a moment, suddenly snapping to an intense gaze, “You’re right! But let’s not discount you, or Lucina. We can win this tournament if we train hard.”

“Right!” Lucina agreed, “I believe in the three of us.”

Chrom simply nodded. Robin again casting a glance at Lucina, who was staring off into the distance, a determined look on her face.

Their moment of solace was broken by a booming voice erupting from the long tunnel to their left, “Hey! Is that Lucina I hear? That means her husband and old man aren’t far behind!”

“Falcon, you big dumb dastard, I’m here!” playfully shouted Chrom,

Sure enough, Falcon, Fox, and Falco came into view, The Captain sporting his usual sauntering walk, Falco walked briskly grumbling to himself, where Fox’s eyes just looked…sad as he ambled along.

“So you had to bring back up to challenge me eh? I’ll wrestle all three of you!” Chrom boasted, his chest comedically puffed out.

“Afraid they aren’t part of our usual rendezvous buddy. The fact of the matter is I’m keeping them from tearing each other apart.”

Lucina stiffened so suddenly Robin felt the jolt, “Aren’t you two…the best of friends?” she asked.

“Yeah but…” Falco started, anger in his voice, only for Fox to suddenly hold up a paw.

“Let me explain.”

The next half hour or so went into Fox explaining Krystal’s recruitment, what had been revealed in the preamble, and what happened in the aftermath. At the conclusion of their tale, Robin and Chrom’s faces remained neutral, but Lucina’s eyes were wide with shock, her lips twisted into a deep frown, “Sir McCloud., to say I’m disappointed as a deep understatement. You should know never to guard to a woman without her permission, much less without her knowledge” the former time traveler scolded the vulpine.

“I mean, his methods were suspect,” Robin spoke up, “But I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same if I thought Lucina to be lost, especially after all we’ve been to. Chrom, would you not say the same of Sumia?”

“Mother,” whispered Lucina,

Chrom thought for a moment, rubbing his chin, “I would. In doing so, however, I would be aware of the consequences Sumia would bring upon me. Concealing it from your friends was obviously the wrong decision.”

“I know,”

“Oh, you think you know, till Wolf an’ me beat the tar outta ya.” Falco chided.

“Hm, that’s what it’s come to?” inquired Lucina

“Trust me, it woulda come to that sooner if Captain hadn’t mediated.”

“Birds of Prey for life baby,” interjected Falcon with a salute

“Not to mention if Krystal wasn’t hospitalized. I have no doubt she’d come after me then,” Fox said,

Lucina frowned once more. The usually prideful and surefooted McCloud sounded dejected as if he’d been sleepless for several nights. He looked it too, so much so that Lucina could deduce it from atop the Duel Ball platform.

“It sounds like you need rest regardless,” she said, nodding to Fox.

“Yeah, you’re right Lucina.”

“Falcon, can you make sure he gets to bed?”

Falcon nodded, and without further ado, pivoted on his heel to leave, putting an arm around Fox as the trio turned to walk away. Chrom wordlessly fell to a sitting position, scooting forward so his legs hanging off the platform. From a pouch in his armor, Chrom produced a small notebook and a pen.

“Father, what are you doing?”

“Writing your mother. You would do well to as well, as we haven’t checked in with her.”

Lucina nodded, taking a seat next to Chrom, and Robin taking a seat next to Lucina, the Ylissean royals sat in silence, enjoying the peaceful time with family.

**Smash Stadium**

If you had told Quinn Marmaduke at the start of his tenure at the Brawler School that he would someday be jogging through Smash Forest under the leadership of Wii Fit Trainer with Melee Champion Roy, his counterpart Marth, and the legendary Street Fighter Ryu with Pichu on his head, he wouldn’t have believed you. But yet, here he was.

“Good job everyone! Keep up the pace!” shouted Miss Trainer from the front of the group. as the bobbed through an ever-growing thicket.

“Sir Ryu, I do not mean to offend in asking this,” Marth asked the man jogging in front of him,” But how are you keeping pace with the rest of us whilst not wearing foot protection?”

Ryu chuckled as he jumped over a downed log, Marth and Quinn doing the same when they were faced with it, “I travel barefoot, and when I’m not on a plane going from country to country, I’m walking.”

“But doesn’t it hurt?” asked Roy from in front of them.

Ryu shook his head, “No. If one does it enough, their feet callous. Oddly enough, it makes kicking less painful.”

“I can imagine so,” Marth said, grunting as the group bobbed and weaved between even more trees.

Suddenly, the group came to a clearing, and in front of them stood a metal blast door, which had the spinning knob of a vault in its middle. Above and around it stood a seemingly endless barrier of holographic hexagons. Quinn noted internally that it looked like the same barrier that indicated the blast zone of a stage.

“I’m assuming this is it?” Miss Trainer asked Marth.

It is indeed. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Marth stepped past the group, striding up to the door. He presented his communicator. To everyone’s surprise, a light erupted from the vault knob, scanning Marth’s communicator up and down. With that, the door opened. The group stepped through. Quinn would have closed the door, being in the back of the pack, but he was too awestruck by what he saw before him. Marth awkwardly stepped around Quinn to shut the door before saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, Smash City, and it’s crown jewel, Ultimate Stadium!”

The introduction didn’t even process for Quinn. Seemingly cutting through the heart of a completely empty cityscape, and seemed to be as tall as Quinn could see.

The vibration that came from Pichu exclaiming “Pichu Pi...” is what snapped him out of his gaze.

“D-does this..,?”

The eyes of everyone were on him now, and Quinn was nearly choking on saliva, he cleared his throat, “How long does this go on for?”

‘It cuts through the city, end to end,” explained Roy, now looking to Marth, “People are given assigned entrances, and their lodging is coordinated to be near their assigned entrance correct?”

Marth nodded as he motioned the group in through the nearest entrance, again showing his communicator to a steel blast door, which swung open. Immediately, they were on an expansive stadium floor. Quinn had thought he had come to terms with the scale before, but standing inside a dome in which seats went into the horizon, and had enough room to wrap around in a dome was astounding.

“Amazing isn’t it?” pondered Ryu, hands on his hips, “I’ve walked the Great Wall of China and been to the top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in my world, and the guided tour of this stadium they take the newcomers on would suggest it’s multiple times longer and taller than either of those.”

“Oh, it’s expanded,” Marth blurted in his now trademark nonchalant way, “We’ve engaged so many new worlds since the Duel Tournament we’ve had to increase the size multiple times over.”

“Multiple?” shouted Roy incredulously, “But it fit the entirety of Mute City, and that’s two billion people,”

“Surely,” Quinn said, pausing to find his words, “Surely not _everyone_ from our home universe comes to see the fights right?”

Marth shook his head, “Not everyone, but most people do. A place that exists outside of time, and is virtually free if one so chooses is a surprisingly great vacation destination.”

“It can get crowded though. Hence why the rich and people traveling in groups buy airships. Think of them as flying RVs. Not nearly as much exercise going on as one would get walking around the city, but I’m sure it’s a fun time,” Miss Trainer explained, suddenly clearing her throat, “Speaking of exercise, class in session, drop and give me twenty!”

“Chu, chuuuu!” whined Pichu, leaping off of Quinn’s shoulder in protest.

“You came out here with us, so I assumed you were ready!” Trainer shot back

Pichu simply cocked his head confusedly.

“Don’t act shocked that we can all understand you,” Miss Trainer teased.

`” As Vice President, I’m adding 20 pushups to your reps because you failed to wear your translator “

Pichu looked at Marth, “Piiiii,” growled the electric mouse.

“You know the rules,”

“PICHU PICHU!”

“Pikachu has earned that right as an elder statesman of the Smash Brothers.”

“Pichu, pichu,” he protested, his hands flailing in all directions, before pausing, his forehead wrinkling to consider the matter, before mumbling, “Chuuuu”

Miss Trainer blew a whistle, “Alright gang, I hope you’re as keen on exercising your joints as you are with exercising your gums. Drop and give me twenty! We’ve got work to do!”

It went like this for several hours. Pushups, running in place, and situps were the order of an intense cardio workout. After the last “event”, a game could see which of the group could run In place without yielding, which Ryu won, Miss Trainer blew into her whistle, “Very good gentlemen! You’re a very attentive, durable group.”

“Chu…” whined Pichu.

Miss trainer glanced down at Pichu, “No, you’re doing great for someone so young Pichu, keep it up.”

Pichu grimaced as though Miss Trainer had said the most moronic thing in the world, “Pichuuuu,” he groaned, flopping onto his belly, and curling into a ball.

“Well, I guess that’s the end of that. He tried,” blurted Miss Trainer through giggles

Through deep, winded breaths, Quinn finally mustered the strength wheeze, “You’ve had less?”

“Attentive groups, you mean? Oh yes,” Marth remarked, having a similarly hard time catching his breath, “You should’ve seen when she tried to make Wario and Dedede do yoga.”

“It was hilarious until Miss Trainer snapped,” interjected Ryu, who, while breathing heavily, was nowhere near as belabored as the others.

“ You snapped Miss Trainer?” Quinn asked.

“Yes,” an ashamed Miss Trainer hung her head, “It took Master Hand’s magic to get bits of Wario’s skull out of the carpet.”

Even though the cardio hell Quinn had just been through had drained most of his skin color, Quinn managed to go a few shades paler at the thought, “Creators have mercy” 

“Miss Trainer?” a rattled robotic voice asked.

Everyone turned to the source of the noise, A Polygon modeled after Captain Falcon led two additional Polygons, a Yoshi-shaped and DK shaped one, each carrying hunks of plastic molded to look like stairs. The cargo-carrying Polygons gently set the plastic stairs into a pile on the floor. Miss Trainer blew into her whistle, “Okay everyone, each of you grabs a set of stairs, and I want 100 reps up and down.”

“Goddess,” moaned Roy, “At least I’ll know how that man who got lost in the stadium felt.”

Quinn raised an eyebrow as he headed for the pile of workout equipment, “Lost?”

“Yes. During the Melee tournament, a man from Fox and Falco’s universe got lost, presumably, apparently to go meet up with a friend he’d made from somewhere else. The stadium is so expansive, he got lost, both searching, and trying to find an exit, for three days.”

“Three days?” barked Quinn.

“Yes, and possibly longer if someone hadn’t noticed a dehydrated looking dog-man ambling around. After I won the championship, I let him pose with it.”

“That man is actually a trailblazer for the city,” Marth noted, “The incident played into how the city was laid out for the Brawl tournament.”

Quinn simply nodded. There was so much history Hart hadn’t been able to or neglected to, tell his students. The young Mii Brawler couldn’t be happier, engaging with heroes of a mythical status about a city he’d only heard about. Even he had to admit, it was too much to take in. His mind felt like mush.

_My legs’ll be mush after this is all said and done_ Quinn joked to himself, as he joined the others for yet another workout gauntlet.

**Smash Mansion, Dinner time.**

Mario sat at the head of a ridiculously long table in the dining room. He hadn’t expected the non-grounded Smashers to eat together until Opening Night. He smiled under his mustache, marveling at how Kirby could melt even the coldest of hearts by insisting they all try a soup he and his “family” made together. Mario couldn’t enjoy the meal for long, however, gobbling down the last of it, before announcing, “Got some business to attend to, see you all tomorrow.”

Mario headed to the basement level, going down the long hallway to the administrative room , where ROB sat, watching the bank of monitors, eleven of which were on, keyed to the rooms and location of the mansion, an individual screen occupying each room that held a grounded participant, Sans, Saki Yoshi, Dante, Akechi, the two grounded Street Fighters Ken and Chun-Li as well as the Phantom Thieves suite.

“ROB, status report,” Mario ordered.

“Everyone seems to be enjoying the property. Housing accommodations seem sufficient,” droned ROB.

“Did the grounded folks get soup?”

“Yes. No negative reports so far.”

“Did they get their marching orders for tomorrow?”

“Yes, to report to the Battlefield training room at sunrise.”

Mario snapped his fingers as something came to him, “Any word from Conker?”

“No. I theorize being in possession of the Smash Core masks his inter-dimensional travel, so we are unaware of any movements unless it is inside a dimension we have in our database,” the robot explained

“Figured as much. I don’t like being on the defensive, but what can you do?”

Remembering something more, Mario let out a groan, “How’s the other thing…team…”

“The Federation United Containing Kick-ass Individuals Today has been put in place, sir.”

“And you’re sure we can’t change the name?”

If ROB possessed the ability to, Mario imagined he would be sighing right now, “As I’ve explained multiple times Master Mario, this has been in place since after Subspace. Crazy Hand named the squadron and locked the file using an encryption that even I cannot edit.”

Mario chuckled to himself. Could ROB feel annoyed?

_If he could, I’m sure he would’ve abandoned the job by now._

“You’re right ROB I’m-a sorry. I just do not a-like that acronym.”

“Understandable sir,” ROB said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“That’ll be all, thank you ROB.”

Mario awaited a parting word but got none. Turning to walk away, he wondered how ROB could be more vigilant at night.

At the moment, Mario got a text, an automated one stating that construction on the rooftop outdoor dining room of The Trophy Hotel. Of the seemingly thousands of completion of construction texts he’d been getting, this one made Mario smile the widest. He forwarded the text to Peach. With final preparation in full swing, Mario had been neglected her even more lately, even more than before the final recruitment drive. Peach was quick to respond, sending back the symbol corresponding with both a smiley face and a heart.

_Someone’s been teaching her those goofy text faces_ thought Mario as he headed up to the ground floor. _I’ve only got the wide-eyed one down, having Sans in a group chat got me used to that one, but I’ll have her teach me more._

Mario accessed the main level, hearing the Smashers chatter away as they continued dinner. Suddenly, Mario was made aware that a day of coordinating Polygons, Alloys, and Wire Frames for Smash City construction while the rest of the group had relaxed had made him very tired. Texting a quick, “Headed to bed, love you,” to Peach, he headed for their room. 

. 

  
  


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	33. The First Weekend Part 2: The Cruelest Brawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The troublemakers take their lumps in Cruel Smash, and DLC is formed.

**The First Weekend: Part 2: The Cruelest Brawl**

**The Phantom Thieves’ Suite, Smash Mansion.**

**_AOOGH, AOOGH,_ **

Ren Amamiya and Ann Takamaki shot up from bed simultaneously, both wondering what was making that atrocious, foghorn-esque noise. Ren glanced over to the bed stand, seeing that the source of the noise was his communicator.

“Ughhhhh Rennn, did you _really_ set that as your alarm?” whined Futaba from somewhere outside of their room in the massive suite.

“No, I…” Ren started,

He would’ve said more, but as soon as he touched his watch, a holographic visage of ROB’s head projected itself, “Good morning n’er do-wells. Joker, you have thirty minutes to get ready, after which you will be escorted down to the Battlefield training room. I would advise you to get ready.”

As quickly as it had come, the holographic face of the robot disappeared.

“Escorted?” scoffed Ann, “What are you, a criminal?”

“Accessory to a noise complaint _is_ a crime after all.”

Ann chuckled, but it was obviously forced. Not only that, but a few things betrayed the white-hot anger about the situation. Chief among them was her rigid posture the frustrated glint in her eyes and nearly gritted teeth. Joker cursed himself silently. He’d seen such righteous indignation from her before, and the worst thing someone could do when Ann was this combination of frustrated and determined was make a joke.

“How can you be so glib?” she shouted, “It’s mine and Futaba’s fault this is happening, and now you guys are being fed to the wolves.”

Ren shrugged, “I know, but I feel like even if you guys did have experience in a Smash Bros arena I’d have taken the lashes anyway. Cruel Brawl doesn’t sound like fun, and I wouldn’t put either of you through it.”

Ann's posture relaxed as she chuckled. Ren could be smoother than silk when he wanted to be, and she, admittedly, was weak to it.

“How’d I get so lucky, to have such a sacrificing, valiant boyfriend?”

Again, the Phantom Thief shrugged walking towards the closet in which his signature gear was kept, “Well, I’ve got a thing for blonds, and the ass definitely helps,” he said, without breaking stride as he removed his Phantom Thief wears from the closet. 

Ann snickered, “Just go make the coffee before I make Cruel Brawl look like a walk in the park.”

Ren did as told, swooping out to the main room in the suite Phantom Thief attire in hand. It had been agreed that he and Futaba would make coffee for breakfast every morning when they’d all moved into this suite, having learned directly under their surrogate father Sojiro Sakura how to make a cup of joe worth dying for. But, since Futaba usually stayed up all night gaming (a mansion full of video game characters meant that each TV had a game selection built in that would make the average video enthusiast’s mind melt), she was often MIA for this particular chore. So, the duty fell to him. Luckily, working in a café that served almost exclusively persnickety senior citizens meant that he could make the coffee fast and efficiently, giving him the time he needed to change into his Phantom Thief gear. In no time at all, the smell of the blessed bean water filtered throughout the entire suite.

Yusuke’s door opened first. The tall artist appeared wrapped in nothing but a towel…followed by Futaba, also wrapped in a towel

_Wait, Futaba and Yusuke shared a room tonight,_ Ren began to think _So that means…_

“O-oh. Oh my God,” Ren sputtered.

“Ren, it’s not…” Yusuke began, his usual dramatic tone growing ever louder with each word until Futaba cut him off.

“What? So I have a thing for cute artsy boys. So sue me.”

“No, it’s not that it’s…”

Ryuji stumbled out of his room next, his eyes immediately going wide as saucers when he took in the scene, “Does this mean…” asked the stunned blond.

“Yup it’s…for real. You owe me 100 yen,” triumphantly chided Ren.

“Shit!”

“What?” demanded Yusuke.

“Me and Ryuji had a bet going on if you…liked women or not.”

In much the same way Ann had earlier, Yusuke scoffed, “Beauty comes in _all_ forms Ryuji. Has being a friend of mine taught you nothing?”

“H-hey,” stuttered Ryuji, “How do you even know which side of the bet we were on?”

“Because Ren isn’t a fool.”

“Eh, touche,” Ryuji groaned, slumping back into his room.

As everyone eventually ambled out of their room, the leader of the Phantom Thieves regaled his team with the new hot gossip in exchange for their cup of coffee. Haru and Makoto had given their blessing, Ryuji grumbled about the loss of his yen, Ann laughed at Ryuji’s misfortune, and Morgana, who had somehow slept through the alarm that had started the morning had quipped, “Yusuke, all I’m saying is that you’d better pray Boss doesn’t bring his shotgun.”

“What?” asked a horrified Yusuke, “Boss would never...”

“I’m not so sure,” Morgana sang, a devious tone in his voice.

“Nah, Yusuke’s right, Always got the vibe Boss liked him the most. Well, aside from Futaba and Renren,” countered Ryuji, putting extra mischief on his pet name for his best friend.

“God Ryuji,” groaned Ren, sipping his coffee, “It’s too early for that.”

There was a beat of silence before Futaba piped in, “Woah, I just realized Inari called me beautiful.” 

“Yes honey, he did,” said Makoto, her motherly tone warbling for a beat, as if to suppress laughter.

The warble prompted something in the rest of the group, who shared a laugh (even the offending parties Futaba and Yusuke.) A loud, aggressive knock at the door stopped the laughter immediately, each of the Phantom Thieves turning to look at the door

“Shit,” Ren grumbled, “It’s time. See ya when you get back.”

“ _If_ you get back,” teased Futaba.

“Shut up dork,” Ren teased right back.

Giving Ann a quick kiss, he poured the remainder of his still steaming coffee into a travel thermos, answering the door. A group of six Polygons stood waiting for him.

“Your presence is requested at the Battlefield training room. Follow us,” robotically droned the lead Polygon.

And so, in the darkness of the early morning, Joker walked down to the catacombs of the mansion, accompanied by six polygons. As he walked, he couldn’t help but reminisce about his time in juvenile hall, how the entire prison had to be locked down to move him, despite being in the segregated population. As it had then, his mind immediately went to how best immobilize each guard in the quickest amount of time. But, as it was then, he knew he couldn’t do that. He wondered briefly if his experience of being a swashbuckling thief of heart had poisoned his mind, seeing even the most friendly of accosts as hostile, and everyday situations as dangerous...

_Is that what happened to Akechi_ wondered the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Were his experiences effecting how saw the world? Were the sociopathic tendencies of Goro Akechi’s past just one bad incident away?

Suddenly, the change in lighting as the entourage descended the stairs broke Joker from his trance. While the upper floors relied mostly on large bay windows and natural light, with homely looking lamps lighting the room in the night time, the sublevels had a much more industrial overhead lighting, every service metallic and sterile, devoid of any color. Walking down more stairs, Joker recalled when The Phantom Thieves had been given an abrupt tour after passing the induction test. The floor they had been on was the Training Floor, the third-lowest level with only the game room and the Core Machine Room beneath it. The main hall of the Training Room was an intimidatingly long corridor with seemingly hundreds of doors, each belonging to an arena modeled after the homeworlds of the participants. The long hallway they had run down upon entry into the room on their induction day was similar in function to a jet bridge, and they had simply walked directly into the Momentos simulation dome before it had been turned on. Today, Joker was being led into the one called Battlefield, silently being marched down the jet bridge, standing in the middle of an empty, all-white dome. All but one of the Polygons formed up to the side, while the remaining one urged him to the center point of the room. A holographic panel appeared on the wall, and a Polygon that had stood off to the side tapped a single button. The floor the two stood on raised into the air, the dome opening beneath them just wide enough for the two of them. When they entered the hole, Joker found himself in an expansive auditorium, much like the one that he and the Thieves had been taken into to be inducted into the Smash Brotherhood.

“Wasn’t this a side room last time?” inquired Joker

“In the Momentos area, yes. Construction had not been completed on the observation area, so observation for it was placed temporarily in a vacant simulation room. Older stages have not been renovated with full auditoriums, so there is no need for a completely separate room,” explained the Polygon, “Now, please wait for further instruction.”

And the Polygon nonchalantly disappeared. Joker only blinked confusedly, turning around to look at the auditorium. A few rows above him sat Saki, his arms indignantly crossed.

“Hey, you’re Saki, right? Saki Amamiya?”

Saki nodded,

“I’m Ren Amamiya. Guess you could say we’re cousins from different dimensions.” 

“Depends. Is the orange-haired girl one of yours?” asked the older, blonder Amamiya,

Joker blinked, Saki’s bluntness catching him off guard, “Futaba? She’s like a sister to me.”

“Then no, we’re not.”

Ren stifled a chuckle, “Something happened at the party I take it?”

“Yeah. Girl called me anime boy, said I couldn’t eat as much pie as she could,” bitterly recounted Saki

“That sounds like her, and it doesn’t sound like you won either.”

“Your girlfriend ate more than me.”

To this, Joker laughed loudly, “I wouldn’t beat myself up too bad about it. I’ve lost a few contests to her myself.”

“You have?” asked Saki, his tone incredulous

Joker shrugged, “What can I say? She loves her some sweets.”

“Well,” sneered a familiar voice, “Glad to see we’re all having fun.”

Whipping around, Joker noticed that Akechi had appeared behind him, a deep scowl on his face, the Polygon that had accompanied him disappearing as soon as he came.

“Hey, we’re about to get our asses kicked, and bad gotta lighten the mood somehow,” Joker said, sipping from his coffee.

Akechi simply growled, “I blame you entirely for this.”

Joker shrugged, “That’s the life of a Phantom Thief, getting thrown headfirst into stupid crap.”

“So I see,” admitted Akechi, “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

With that, the Detective Prince simply skulked away, heading to the very top of the auditorium. Next to appear was Yoshi, who’s eyelids looked heavy. Suddenly, the dinosaur paused dramatically, sniffing the air.

“Do I smell coffee?” asked the long-tongued dino, his voice cracking slightly, like a drug addict looking for a fix.

Joker dramatically hoisted the cup into the air, posing as if he hit the end pose of an elaborate dance number. Yoshi’s eyes stared up at the cup, “Can I….have it?”

Joker lowered the travel jug of coffee to eye level, face scrunched in thought, “Go for it,” the Phantom Thief decided.

Yoshi extended his long tongue, wrapping around the thermos, the protracting of the tongue placing it in the dinosaur’s comedically small hands. Yoshi chugged it, eyes closed, as if he was experiencing nirvana,

“Oh thank the Seven Stars,” crowed Yoshi, “They didn’t even let me have breakfast this morning.”

“Oh, the humanity,” Akechi groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Anyway,” scowled Yoshi his expression snapping to neutral immediately, “Do you guys know anything about….this?”

“Can’t say I do, “Joker shrugged.

“Well, we’re gonna be put against AI opponents cranked up to the most aggressive the system allows. They hit hard, _and_ the system’s been modified to see that we get hit further.”

“Inescapable odds then? Pah, I think I’ll have eliminated more opponents than you Joker,” Akechi hissed.

“You’re on,” 

Suddenly, another Polygon appeared, this one accompanying both Ken and Chun-Li, “Hope you’re all having a good morning,” chided Ken as the Polygon disappeared

Yoshi explained it to them, both Ken and Chun-Li’s eyes wide at the prospect of what was about to happen.

“Yeah…the whole routine of fighting people who could kick buildings down is more of Ryu’s forte.”

“Not to say we couldn’t do it though,” assured Chun-Li patting her old friend on the shoulder, “We’ve both given Bison a kicking or two, and he’s nothing to scoff at.”

“I guess…” Ken said with a sigh.

“Listen, unless you want to go through multiple fights injured, I suggest you stow your fears.” Akechi growled, “Furthermore, I find it incredibly annoying.”

“Hate to agree with Mister Happy over here, but he’s right. Being spooked isn’t gonna help,” interjected Saki.

Ren chuckled, “Mister Happy? I love it. I might make that a regular thing.”

“Would you like to die? Because I would like to make you die.”

“Sup party people?” asked Sans as he appeared in the center of the auditorium eating a hamburger.

“On second thought, I might join you,” growled Akechi.

There was a beat of silence, before Sans spoke up again, “Huh? No ‘where did you come from’ as I pop in this time?”

“What I’m more interested in is how you got the hamburger?” Yoshi whined, Akechi rolling his eyes.

“Administrator perk dude. Plus, wouldn’t look too good if I got escorted by cops eh?”

“You’re right,” Joker said with a nod, “Police escorts aren’t fun.”

“What is it with you and the jokes?” shouted Akechi angrily, pointing an accusing finger at Joker “The dinosaur already explained our predicament, and you still remain nonplused?”

“Hey kiddo, you get on me for bein’ anxious, then get up Joker’s ass for joking around?” Ken demanded

“Don’t listen to him. He’s got a chip on his shoulder. Been around enough to know when a kid is compensating for something,” interjected Yoshi, glaring daggers at the former Crow.

“Weren’t you just complaining about the lack of food earlier?” said Akechi, his voice even angrier now as he snapped his gaze to Yoshi, “Why would I take anything a child like you have to take seriously?”

“Child? Boy, I’m old enough to take you to school.”

“Try me.”

Joker leaped to the halfway point of the auditorium stairs. Akechi was pushing against him from the top. His thermos went flying, crashing against a wall just short of Akechi. Joker glanced at where Yoshi presided in the room, being held back by Chun-Li and Ken.

A light shone at the bottom of the auditorium steps, and Dante appeared, not accompanied by polygons as the others had been, “Holy shit, what did I miss?” asked the Son of Sparda.

“The pretty boy in the black mask and the dinosaur are fighting,” Sans said matter of factly as if he were commenting on the TV news. 

“Neat, can I take bets?” asked Dante, casting a glance at Chun-Li, “I bet Chunners will school all our asses.”

Dante’s comment was initially met with silence as the Street Fighter crew helped Yoshi into a chair, “You sure you aren’t just hitting on me devil hunter?” said the investigator, casting a suspicious glance at Dante.

Dante shook his head, “Nah, I know I’m not your type.”

“Huh,” Saki pondered, “Who is your t-“

“Ryu,” Dante and Ken said simultaneously before he could even finish

Chun-Li blushed, her face puffing up in anger, “It’s not like that!” she squeaked defensively.

“Nah, I’ve seen you cast enough dreamy glances at him when we shared a room. Unfortunately, Ryu wouldn’t know flirting if you had a big neon sign attached to you that said ‘I am flirting’” Ken explained.

Dante chuckled, “Yeah, Ryu doesn’t seem like the most socially aware g-“

The air was suddenly pierced by the interjection of ROB’s voice from seemingly nowhere, which brought the conversation to a halt.

“I see you are all here, and ready to fight,”

A blinding light erupted in the room. When it faded, the metal floor of the auditorium was replaced by glass. Below them was a platform with three smaller platforms placed in a triangle shape overlooking a sunny, lush landscape

“What you see before you is The Battlefield, Smash Brothers’ most iconic, most fair arena. Yoshi already explained the concept to you, but I shall explain it again. These training fighters that you will be up against and the way the arena’s gravity responds to taking damage to all but guarantee one-hit KOs, or, in the best-case scenario high damage. Accessing terminology database. Accessing term, damage. Damage is defined as how many hits a Smasher takes. The higher your percentage of damage is, the more vulnerable you will be to a KO. Accessing term, KO. A KO, or a knockout in common English, is defined in the Super Smash Brothers competition context as being knocked beyond the boundaries of the arena, or as it is known in slang, the blast zone, due to the pyrotechnics display that indicates a ring out in Smash Brothers competition. Per the instructions of Mario, you will continually attempt Cruel Brawl until the successful elimination of one opponent. In between attempts you will not receive healing items. You will receive healing items upon successful completion.”

“Wait, I have a q-“ Sans started, but was cut off.

“Silence,” growled ROB.

“Hey did somebody upgrade your emotion chip or something? This is the first time I’ve heard you sound like anything other the automated voice when I buy movie tickets,” Sans chided.

“I emote only because you have…pissed me off is the common term. Now, Sans, I suggest you stay silent, or I shall be forced to assume you have volunteered.”

Sans said nothing, looking sheepish for the first time.

“Excellent. Would the first volunteer please announce their intention to do so?” ROB, now sounding normal, asked.

“I’ll do it,’ Yoshi confidently announced, standing from the chair he had been moved to, “I’m the elder statesmen like Peach said. It’s only right that I take my lumps first.”

As soon as the words had left his lips, Yoshi disappeared, appearing on the battlefield below. Yoshi assumed his fighting stance, which to Joker looked like he was shuffling to music only he could hear. Just like it had in the battle with Lucario, music cued up. This piece was a foreboding orchestral march with a pounding drum beat. Yoshi’s opponents appeared, seven of them. Two appeared to be wireframed men, another two appeared to be red, robotic likenesses of Kirby, the only difference being a red power core rested where a face should be. The next two appeared to be likenesses of DK strung together by jagged shapes, reminding Joker of the first 3D renders of some of his favorite video game characters. The DK automatons were followed by two who appeared to be like Yoshi himself, except more rigid and horse-like.

**Music: Cruel Brawl  
3**

Yoshi steeled himself

**2**

Ken gulped loud enough for everyone in the auditorium to hear.

**1**

**GO**

At the same moment, the bots ran for Yoshi, and Yoshi skittered from his resting place in the center of the stage to the right, of the stage. As the bots swarmed in front of him, he jumped, using his Flutter Jump to skitter back to the stage. A flip kick from one of the Kirby lookalikes brought up a holographic damage meter. 15 percent for Yoshi. One of the wireframes hit a thrust kick. 38 percent now. Yoshi’s body went limp, falling towards the boundaries. A Wire Frame leaped after him, its hands clasped together, intent on clocking Yoshi into a loss. At the last possible moment, Yoshi’s body tensed, his long tongue gripping the Wire Frame’s clasped hands, dragging it into the dinosaur's open maw. Yoshi held it in his mouth for a split second, before shifting his body downward so he was looking into the abyss. With a whimsical “bum” sound, he spat the Wire Frame out, the stiff automaton floating, still poised for combat, into the abyss. The colorful explosion indicated that Yoshi had netted himself a point. Flashing his trademark “’v’ for victory” sign, he floated into the abyss himself, ending the simulation with a similarly colorful explosion

 **GAME! NEWWW RECORD!  
**With a flash, Yoshi stood among them, a purple bruise in the center of his stomach, his large nose and jaw obviously broken. Then, a green aura surrounded him. Slowly, his jaw and nose corrected, each with gruesome sounding clicks.

“What you see before you is a Healing Plant, one of the few natural resources unique to this realm. Holding a seedling of it, or basking in its refined aura, will heal you,” the voice of ROB broadcasted.

“And if he had lost, you would’ve just sent him back out there with fighters that can break bones with simple strikes?” Chun-Li protested,

“Hey, it’s over quick if you’re crafty enough,” Yoshi nonchalantly shrugged as the Healing Plant’s aura disappeared.

“I’m crafty like macaroni and cheese baby,”

Every head in the room turned the source of the speaker, Sans, who was strutting to the front of the crowd, his chest puffed out.

“Get it? Because it’s a brand of-“

Mid-sentence, Sans was teleported to the arena, standing in the middle of the arena as Yoshi had been, Gaster Blaster attachment well in hand.

The same configuration of bot fighters appeared.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

Sans stood, uncharacteristically silent.

**2**

Sans’ stomach grumbled

1

“If he doesn’t get his ass kicked, I’ll be disappointed,” grumbled Akechi

 **GO!  
**The bots swarmed around him. One of the gorilla polygons clumsily extended his foot for a sliding low kick, which Sans swiftly floated away from.

“You can’t be serious,” Akechi said, woe in every syllable.

“Alright, now it’s time for you dishwashers to get dunked on,” arrogantly chided Sans,

Blasting through the crowd with the same apathetic floatiness, Sans’ eyes suddenly went wide.

_That smell… Haven’t smelled it since…_

Sans’ swallowed, keeping down a reflexive blast of vomit.

“That smell…thick sewage smell…that’s L.O.V.E”, he muttered quietly

Time suddenly stopped around him. The sky darkened, the clouds brightened to an almost blinding light. The now-urethral clouds of Battlefield shifted into alien shapes. Sans squinted, making sense of what the symbols they formed

Sans's heart stopped as the voice read out the symbols to him.

_No. It can’t be…_

The shaky warble of a voice was instantly recognizable, but he hadn’t heard it since… since _he_ fell into the core. 

“Gaster?” Sans asked, “Why are you here? What are you trying to tell me?”

**D o y o u s m e l l it**

Sans felt a pang of confusion . The skeleton was puzzled now. Now the warbled tone boomed at him in the common English the rest of the Underground used, like the voice of God.

"What happened to your voi-"

**D O Y O U S M E L L IT?**

Sans closed his eyes, sighing

“Yes.”

**D o s o m e t h i n g.**

Sans felt a shiver go up his spine, this one slow, nurturing, like the hands of death rocking a baby to sleep. Sans had felt that before

_He’s waving at me._

Time came back into focus, just in time for the DK wireframe to clock Sans with a Giant Punch.

Research about himself in other timelines had indicated that he had 1 HP, making him the weakest monster in The Underground by virtue. But here he was, sailing towards the boundary, still conscious, with a still-beating heart.

 _Huh, I can do this,_ thought Sans as he suddenly found himself back in the auditorium. Looming over him was Dante, a wavering grin on his face.

“You okay brother? You kinda zoned out, like your head was in the clouds or something”

“Yeah,” Sans said, rubbing the bruise that had formed on his right cheek, flakes of bone falling to the floor, “Just… got caught up in thought.”

“Hell of a time to do that,” Dante chided.

“Yeah, time for me to go back! Put me back in.”

And once again, Sans was on the platform, his adversaries still waiting for him.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

Immediately, Sans bolted to the side of the stage, jumping softly off of it, and grabbing on to the side. All five opponents bolted for him, the Donkey Kong Polygon’s lazy low kick colliding with Sans’ head. As it had before, the damage meters appeared before those viewing the fight, Sans was at 20 percent damage off of a single kick. Sans responded by jumping up high enough to shoot a single laser blast, which brought the damage total to five for the alloy, only to resume his post of hanging off the ledge. Sans jumped up again, this time, firing a green orb from his Gaster Blaster, which fizzled out of existence as soon as it had appeared. Suddenly, an explosive burst rocked the bot on the opposite end of the stage. This alerted the other bots, who all charged Sans. Sans leaped off just as his aggressive opponents seemed to conga line after him. One of the Kirby AI’s got to him first, somehow jabbing him in lightning-quick succession in the air. The Wire Frame men, however, fell more quickly. Pivoting his body in the air, Sans pointed the Gaster Blaster down, firing it. The Wire Frames jutted out of the boundary, the fireworks counting two kills.

Meanwhile, in the viewing room, Joker’s eyes went wide as he saw Sans heal all twenty damage.

“GET DUNKED ON! CANNONBALL!” hollered Sans, gleefully belly-flopping into the boundary, ending his experience for the moment.

**GAME! NEWWW RECORD!**

Sans appeared back in the viewing room, casually strutting to one of the bottom seats in the auditorium as Dante laughed uproariously. Akechi meanwhile, was nearly red in the face with anger.

“You….neanderthal! You healed illegally. You can’t…”

“It isn’t my fault I know how to manipulate stuff. It also isn’t my fault your dad didn’t hug you enough, so sit down.” Sans chided.

Akechi went to make a move, but Joker cleared his throat, which snapped his rival’s gaze to him. , “He’s right. You shouldn’t test him.”

Akechi paused, silently thinking the matter over, before sitting back down, pouting so violently it initially struck Joker as comedic. A snort betrayed his intentions, to which he could feel Akechi’s cold stare of overflowing disgust from across the auditorium.

“Do I have any volunteers?” the disembodied voice of ROB echoed.

Every head in the room turned to Ken as he chuckled, “I’ve got this,”

Chun-Li raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I helped Mel with the 100 man challenge in the game, it was how you unlocked Falco if I remember right. Just needed to see how it worked to jog my memory.”

In a flash, Ken disappeared, reappearing on the center of Battlefield, the bots assuming their positions.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

As the others had done before, Ken backflipped to the edge, grabbing on. One of the Wire Frames stoically snapped to a new position extending their arms, as if to signal for a hug. The human arms morphed into two canons. Two pick lasers exploded from the cannons, the sound of the lasers scraping across the floor of Battlefield creating a gnarly screech.

“N-OH MY GO-“ was all Ken could get out as both lasers connected, hard with his forehead, the Street Fighter dropping into the boundaries like a rag doll.

**GAME!**

When Ken reappeared, he was on his knees, head down, dry heaving.

Chun-Li knelt down, “Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

“Heh,” Ken slurred with a wry grin, “Feel like I’ve taken a Tiger Knee to the face every day for six years,”

Chun-Li matched his grin, only out of politeness. Her rigid poster betrayed the concern she was trying to bottle inside. Joker felt a pang of regret, being reminded of Ann’s reaction earlier.

“That bad huh?” Chun-Li asked, wavering humor in her voice.

Joker couldn’t help but nod _If there was one person I’d want fighting alongside me in a fight with The Reaper, it’d be her. She’d tell me everything was going to be okay, that I wouldn’t get demolished in one hit, and I’d believe her,_ thought the Thief

“No, but seriously, are you okay man? You don’t even sound like you can make words right now,” 

The concerned voice of Dante interrupted Joker’s musings. Ken was slurring even more noticeably now trying to form sentences.

“I’m fine!” Ken grunted, “Send me back in! I’ll be back b’fore you know it!”

**Six attempts later**

Joker and the others should've been impressed at this run. Dodge lasers, close the gap, full power Focus Attack, jump behind the wobbled Wire Frame, awkward Reverse Hell Wheel, Shoryuken. when he tried to jump back on, mission complete. But the rhythm had come in agonizing, painful half steps, and with every half stepped gained, the Cruel Smash opponents would just beat the shit out of him, almost as if they were angry at the audacity of Ken and the others. Like hyenas playing with their food, they would take special care to pin him down, hitting the big moves of the fighters they were modeled after, or, in the Wire Frames’ case, just firing their powerful cannons at a downed opponent, which would yield a flippant toss off stage, and the start of a new attempt. At a staggering 230 damage, Ken teleported into the room to the thunderous applause of everyone minus Akechi. As the healing plant’s magical aura overtook Ken, broken bones were reset, bruises scuffed out, his swollen left eye went back to normal, while his bloodshot right eye regained a less horrifying color. The burn on his chest closed and healed, his torn to shreds gi was mended before their eyes.

Ken cast a thumbs up. Joker snapped his gaze to Chun-Li, who had been stiff as a board, immediately loosened, “Feeling alright Ken?” she asked

“Yeah!” said Ken with an eager, almost childlike, nod, “Gotta shell out some buckaroos for these Healing Plants. They work better than any spa day I’ve ever had.”

Chun-Li giggled, “You spend money with such boyish charm. It’s why you’re one of the few billionaires that’s beloved.”

Ken rubbed the back of his head, “Don’t embarrass me in front of the Cruel Brawl Crew Chunnn” he playfully whined.

“For the love of God, can we skip this lovefest and move on to the next volunteer?” shouted Akechi.

“You and Joker have volunteered,” came the omnipresent voice of ROB.

“What?” balked Akechi, “The manwhore and I together? You can’t be serious.”

“I find your childish pittling amusing, and I look forward to seeing it play out on the Battlefield. Now, prepare.”

In an instant, he and Joker were on the tri-platformed stage. Immediately, Joker and Akechi went back to back as their robot opponents surrounded them.

“So what’s the plan here?” growled Akechi, “Rebel’s Guard until we can summon Personas?”

“Oh, you know it, asshole.”

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

Akechi tutted, “I resent that.”

**3**

“Fuck you too.”

**2**

Akechi growled.

**1**

“What, not so fun when someone’s pointlessly mean to you?”

**GO!**

The two adopted the stance of Rebel’s Guard as the automations went to work, pounding at them. Their wrist gear showed their custom UI’s for their Rebellion Gauges, all they had to do was wait.

“You mock me as if my barbs don’t hurt you, yet it’s as plain to see as your sister’s autism,” Akechi said, snarling the final word. 

Joker glanced over his shoulder. Akechi’s eyes were firmly set on his wrist communicator.

_At least he’s taking this seriously. Gotta ride him for his insults though._

“Oh, real sharp, you gonna say my girlfriend’s been with a ton of guys next?” Joker chided

“Shit.”

“Come up with some new material next time asshole.”

Simultaneously, shouting the name of their Personas of choice, Loki for Akechi and Arsene for Joker, the two demons of the soul stood next to their masters as apparitions. Joker still firm, using Tetracarn to shock the enemies back, and using Eiagon to stagger them further. Casting another glance over his shoulder at Akechi, who Joker reasoned had used his signature buffing move Fortify Spirit to take on four of the seven opponents, while Joker peppered the remaining three on his side with blasts of the cursed fire Eiagon. Joker sprung into action, hitting one of the offenders, the Kirby Alloy, into the air with a double thrust kick, leaping into the air, and smashing the Alloy downward, plummeting offstage. Using Arsene’s Wings of Rebellion, he flew back to the stage. However, just as he was about to touch down, everything stopped.

**GAME! NEWWW RECORD!**

Joker and Akechi were teleported into the room to the sound of Dante and Sans laughing uproariously, “They were just havin’ a conversation!” hollered Sans in between wheezes of laughter

“Yeah man, that shit’s money, just roasting each other while ROB’s super death robot went to town.”

Simultaneously, Joker and Akechi both snapped their gazes over to the holographic scoreboard.

**Joker: 1**

**Goro Akechi, 4**

Joker’s eyes narrowed, “You SDed after you got your three?”

Akechi smirked, “Of course. You could’ve gone all day, but I couldn’t allow that. I learned long ago that if you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying.”

Joker rolled his eyes as the two rivals returned to their preferred spots in the auditorium. At that moment, Saki stood up, “I’ll go next. You guys showed me how to do this. Thanks.”

“No problem,” Joker said, casting a thumbs up into the air.  
The young man disappeared next. The opposing forces, one Smasher and seven AIs stood on opposite ends of Battlefield.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

The bots had barely moved when Saki began to fire his weapon, Pink blasts of laser energy erupted from his weapon, peppering the bots, staggering them from the opposite end of the stage. Both of the Kirby-bots took flight. Saki redirected his gunfire to accommodate the two flying foes, which in turn allowed the grounded foes to move unperturbed. While the two wireframes provided support with laser cannons, the others looked to close the distance. Taking a break from shooting, Saki spun his gun swords to deflect the two blasts, spraying at both the grounded bots and the Kirby Alloys. When the two Alloys were in striking distance, Saki leaped off stage, sending him back to the auditorium.

**GAME!**

“HA! What’s the matter punk, chicken out?” howled Akechi as Saki came into view.

Saki shook his head, a smirk on his face, “Nah, just needed to see how everybody moved.”

“What?” demanded Akechi

“Send me back!” Saki shouted

With those words, Saki found himself on the Battlefield once again.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

The first few seconds of the occurred much as the first had, with Saki firing clear across the stage to pepper the bots. Only this time, when the Kirby Alloys took flight, he ignored them. Even as the grounded bots began to advance despite his best efforts, he ignored them. Only when they were right above them did his gaze meet them. Turning into a stone slab, one of Kirby’s signature moves, was something Saki must’ve been expecting because he dodged it at the last moment. Grabbing the Kirby doppelganger, which dissipated his stone form, he drove his head into the Kirby a few times, before spinning kicking him into the crowd of bots. Saki charged forward, slashing a few of the bots in order to keep them off him, but focusing with machine-like precision on the stunned Kirby bot. Slash, slash slash slash slash. Another spinning kick, sending it off the stage. Saki leaped after it, firing his weapon at it, and slamming it down into the blast zone to win.

**GAME!**

Saki appeared in the auditorium, grinning up at Akechi, who, as per usual, wore a deep frown. To this, Joker cast the other Amamiya a thumbs up. His eyes also caught sight of Yoshi, who had moved to silently sitting against the back wall of the auditorium, his eyes cast directly at Saki.

 _I wonder what he could be thinking,_ Joker thought to himself.

Before ROB could ask for a volunteer, Chun-Li stepped forward, “Dante, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” said Dante with a flippant shrug.

Now, it was Chun-Li’s turn to be thrust unceremoniously on to Battlefield. This time, the bots surrounded her.

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

The bots continued to circle her as she assumed her combat stance.

“What is she doing?” Akechi sneered.

“You idiot, she’s a cop. She’s waiting for one of the bots to make their move,” Joker snapped.

Just as the words left Joker’s lips, one of the Captain Falcon bots lurched forward. Thrusting an arm around the bot’s shoulder and sweeping the leg, she took it down. A Donkey Kong Polygon stepped forward next, only to receive a flurry of kicks for its trouble. A Kirby bot jumped off of the prone Donkey Kong lookalike’s shoulders, only for Chun-Li to adjust her angle and simply take the flurry of kicks upward to meet the Kirby imposter, then down again to meet the Donkey Kong. However, the Captain Falcon alloy managed to fly forward and hit the unsuspecting cop with a Raptor Boost, which sent her flying into the air. As the Kirby alloy had done before, the Captain Falcon alloy leaped off of the DK Polygon’s shoulders, delivering the infamous Falcon knee. Chun Li flew off stage, but in mid-air, she seemed to right herself

“SPINNING BIRD KICK!” cried Chun-Li,

Like a helicopter blade, she floated into an upside-down position, throwing a spinning kick in the air, the momentum of which carried her back to the stage. As Chun-Li landed on the ground, adopting a crane stance, Joker noticed the extent of the damage. He’d been in enough scraps as a Phantom Theif to know a dislocated jaw when he saw one, and her left eye was swelling shit.

“Zat all you hunks of junk got? C’mon!” slurred Chun-Li.

“My God, I think I’m in love,” sighed Sans.

The Captain Falcon Alloy from earlier in the fight was the one to run forward. Chun stepped off stage, the Alloy following. As if she were standing on air, Chun-Li caught the alloy in a flurry of kicks, the final of which was an ax kick, sending the unlucky Alloy into the blast zone, before falling in herself.

**GAME!**

The Chinese detective appeared before them in the auditorium, as the aura of the healing plant surrounded her, rewiring her broken jaw and healing her bruises, “Not bad huh?” she said, winking at the crowd.

A flood of congratulations erupted, with only Akechi and Dante staying silent. When the silence finally broke Dante blurted, “Eh, I bet I could do it cooler than you.”

“Excuse me?” Chun-Li demanded with the raise of an eyebrow.

“You heard me.”

“Well, put your money where your mouth is.”

Before Dante can say any more, he was teleported to Battlefield. As they had with Chun-Li, the bots surrounded him.

“Hey Yoshi, do you think the bots are adapting?” Saki asked.

“I know they are,” the dinosaur agreed, his voice deathly serious, “They figured out how to get the most hits, and that’s the formation they’re sticking with for the duration.”

**Music: Cruel Brawl**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!  
**“Hey!” Dante shouted, spreading his arms wide, “Give me a hug!”

With that, all the bots piled on to him.

Akechi chortled with laughter, “Idiot,”

Chun-Li smirked, which in turn caused Ken to smirk, “You fought this guy before right Chunners?”

She nodded, “Mmm-hm. When our realm merged with the superheroes the third time, he showed up. That man may play a fool, but he’s craftier than you think, Akechi-san.”

The debate was broken suddenly by the sound of an electric guitar. Everyone’s gaze snapped to the Battlefield, where a pillar of purple electric energy had erupted from the dogpile, knocking everyone into the air. Dante jumped into the air, completely unharmed, slashing the stunned bots with his sword, seemingly moving them into a dogpile themselves. Thrusting downward with a kick, all seven alloys, were thrown to the ground, bouncing upward. The electric guitar appeared in Dante’s hands again, the electric pulses juggling his adversaries. Spinning his sword dramatically, then hitting some kicks that didn’t look to out of place in Chun-Li’s arsenal racked up the damage for all seven of the alloys, sending them all into the air, just outside the stage. Dante fired a pistol wildly into the air, striking all seven bots, a bullet per bot. The Son of Sparda jumped high into the air, tilting into the air, firing a proverbial hell of bullets as he spun, knocking down all seven bots into the blast zone. Dante let himself spiral down as more bots appeared.

**GAME! NEWWW RECORD!**

“Isn’t that a move of your’s Joker? That spinning gun nonsense?” Akechi inquired as Dante appeared.

Joker chuckled, “Where do you think I got it from? Spent a lot of time at Futaba’s house playing _Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3_ on her PC.”

Chun-Li smiled, “It’s still hard to believe that to some people we’re just video game characters.”

“It goes even further than that if you go on some art websites,” Sans interjected.

“Do I even want to know?” Chun-Li asked her skin a bit more pale now.

“No. Especially not you.”

“Hey! So what’s the verdict Chunners?” asked Dante briskly changing the subject, “Did I do it cooler than you?”

The detective nodded, “Without question. It never would’ve crossed my mind to eliminate my adversaries via gun kata and a magical electric guitar.”

Dante nodded cooly, “Damn straight.”

“This concludes the Cruel Smash session. You are now free to move about the premises as you have completed your punishment.”

A turquoise blue surrounded the elevator, with the group cramming themselves onto the small ovular panel. The only one who hung back was Yoshi, who keyed a number into his wrist communicator. The holographic visage of Mario appeared.

“It’s-a me, Mario.” Mario greeted absentmindedly.

“I’m the one who dialed you.”

“Oh, right. Anyway, how did-a Cruel Smash go?”

Yoshi shook his head, “It used to be mythic man. Cruel Smash was a legend. In our day, you were lucky to even get one knock out. This new crop of talent just…did it. ”

Mario smirked, “That’s a-kinda what I wanted to see _Nonno._ This a-new crew can adapt to any circumstances. They may be n’er-do-well punks, but they’re a-gonna turn the tide once Conker decides to get crazy.”

“Some of ‘em I wouldn’t trust to have my back in a fight. The two kids just had witty banter. _Witty banter. “_

Mario nodded, “I understand your concern, but Joker tried to save Akechi when the rest of-a the Thieves. thought him lost, and Akechi saved all their lives.”  
Yoshi nodded, “Guess I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Sorry, I’m just crabby, I’ve never felt as weak as I did watching the new crop of talent fight.,” he whined.

Mario chuckled, “That’s-a just a side effect of growing old I suppose. Don’t stress about it too much _Nonno._ Enjoy your day.”

“What does that word Nonno mean?”

Again, the plumber chuckled, “It means “grandfather” in my ancestor’s tongue. You’re the closest I’ve ever had to one. You took-a care of me when I was a wee lad. I’ll always owe you and the other Yoshi’s for that.”

“Yep. We’d do it all over again given the chance.” Yoshi said, pausing, “ I think I’m gonna get to enjoying my day as you said. See you later kid.”

“Goodbye, Yoshi.”

The call was terminated as the dinosaur waited for the elevator. He was long overdue for a celebratory lunch.

**Smash Mansion: Evening**

For the rest of the Smashers, the second day of the free weekend was a time for rest and relaxation. Quinn Marmaduke had taken to this better than anyone, watching television, while Altair had rented some old books from the library. He had said they were history books from his world, wanting to “confirm some things” he’d seen. Perplexing a statement as that had been for the Mii Brawler, he decided to leave him to it. It wasn’t like he’d be anywhere near decent company, what with the seemingly endless supply of channels from every universe the Smashers had interacted with, the channel being flipped being punctuated by an archaic buzzing sound from an old TV.

“Hey, y’all, Scott here.”

**BZZZT**

“And that was from the newest hit album, the KK Mathers EP.”

**BZZZT**

 **“** He’d rather eaaaat the rotten…”

**BZZZT**

“We now return to our feed of Lord Jabu Jabu moving three feet to the right, now in progress.”

Quinn had to giggle over that one. It was very obvious what worlds had a tenuous at best grasp of what constituted good TV.

**BZZZT**

“TRY THE NEW FITNESS BREAD SANDWICH HERE AT SANDWICH. SANDWICH, WE HAVE SANDWICHES”

**BZZZT**

“MILLY BAYS HERE WITH THE PUTTY THAT CAN FIX YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE!”

**BZZZT**

**“IT’S THE BIG DOG!”**

Quinn shut the TV off, rubbing his temples “Shoulda gotten a book,” he muttered

Just then, he heard ROB’s voice over the PA, “Please report to the dining room for dinner and sign up for Physics Week sign up,”

Quinn hopped out of bed, doing some stretches briefly before heading out to the main room, poking his head into Altair’s room. The assassin was neatly stacking the books he had rented in his eerily spotless bedroom, “Hey Altair, you headed down?” Quinn asked.

“Yes. I was looking forward to sparring against you. I find the fact that you fight exclusively with your body to be intriguing,” Altair said as he exited his bedroom, “Whether the skeleton inevitably infects our proceedings, time will tell.”

Walking out the door, Quinn decided to jump to Sans’ defense, “Hey Sans’ a weird dude but you can’t say he’s been unkind. He stopped cooking hotdogs when you told him you couldn’t eat them.”

“Out of self-preservation, I’m sure. As well, if he wished to be kind, he would attempt to adapt to others’ way of speaking, as is normally done in diplomatic situations.”

“You aren’t wrong, I just think if he was the harbinger of chaos everybody thinks he is, he wouldn’t have stopped.”

“You may be correct. Understand, however, he must mend his own impressions,” growled the assassin as the roommates began the long walk down the hall. Quinn found himself nervous. Tests had never been his strong suit. Freeform, independent training is what had worked best for him. Having to share a sparring ring with someone as shrewd as Altair might yield him an embarrassing verbal whipping, should he act cocky or mess up. However, he had trained in the Smash Bros style for a long time. Would his less experienced partner hold him back?

Altair was similarly deep in thought, trying to cut out the yammering of the Smashers coming out of their dorms. He found himself cursing himself despite his best efforts. The lack of people _here_ meant that there were people likely taking up good spots with Smashers he preferred the company of.

_If I have to fight Wario due to lack of open training arenas I pray I am granted the strength not to slaughter the oaf._

The two-headed down the stairs, into the dining hall, which appeared to only have about 10 people in it. Well, eleven, as Sans seemingly popped into existence nearly nose to nose with Quinn.

“Geez!” screamed the Mii Brawler, stumbling backward, but catching his footing

“Oh hey, sup? Didn’t mean to teleport in like that, sorry.”

“How someone so errant as you with their abilities is as successful as you are is beyond m-“

Altair was cut off by a sudden realization. In Sans’ non-Gaster Blaster hand, he held a comb.

“Is that…a comb?” the assassin stumbled,

Quinn faked a cough to mask a donkey ‘haw’ of laughter. He would never admit it to Altair, but the entertainment value of Sans’ pushing Altair’s buttons was endless.

“Yeah,” Sans shrugged, “Do they not have them in your world?”

“That is not the-“

Altair was bellowing, his eyes suddenly wide. But, the man closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

“Why do you need a comb?” he asked, his voice now an eerie calm.

“Gotta keep the brain smooth.”

“I…”

“He’s stunned, now we move in!” a familiar voice squawked

Quinn’s gaze snapped to the group already occupying the dining room. Terry, Corrin, Banjo, Kazooie, The Phantom Thieves, Erdrick, Edelgard, and Hubert. They all moved towards the three roommates, now circled around them.

“We were thinkin’. We all got here after the veterans, but before the big recruiting drive.” Banjo explained.

“Yes. We were hoping you all would join us in training together,” continued Edelgard

Sans waved a hand dismissively, “Nah. I plan on binge-watching every episode of Lord Jabu Jabu Moving to the Right.”

“Holy shit, that’s episodic?” Ryuji gasped.

“With director’s commentary and fun quizzes during the commercial breaks.”

“Whelp, skeleton boy’s out, who’s our eighth man then?” Kazooie wondered, “Corrin’s a veteran, so she doesn’t exactly fit the DLC brand.”

“DLC?” asked Altair, eyebrow raised,

“Dudes Living Courageously! Me an’ Ren’s pal Ryuji came up with the name!” Banjo proclaimed, his chest swelling with pride.

“And, just to clarify, the term “dude” is genderless?” inquired Hubert.

“God, Elvira, Himbo of the Dark is slow. Yes, where some people come from, including where Banjo and I live, dude is genderless.”

“Is Himbo some kind of insult bird?” snarled Hubert.

“Kazooie spends too much time on the internet, don’t pay her slang no mind,” Banjo grumbled, rolling his eyes

“Pray tell, what is the Internet?”

“I was practically raised on it,” proudly proclaimed Futaba.

With a sneer as deep as the oldest canyon on his home continent, Hubert eyed her up and down, “I now understand, unfortunately,” he hissed

Terry held up a hand. Every head in the group turned to him, “Back on topic. Mind if Corrin joins us? It might help to have a veteran guide.”

Quinn’s attention snapped to Corrin, who stood nearest to Terry. The raven-haired woman was blushing as deep a crimson as her eyes, “You would consider me a veteran Terry?”

“I mean, obviously you are a veteran Dragon Lady,” Terry answered, confused.

Kazooie shrugged, “She is more so than any of us, so it can’t be the worst idea.”

“Alright,” Corrin agreed, her blush gone, resolve in her voice, “Let’s go book a training room for the week then.”

Book a…?” sputtered Quinn.

He followed the gaze of all of his compatriots. In addition to the normal dining room table, a side table had been set up with five yellow pieces of paper on it. Quinn moved closer, to examine it. They were spreadsheets, with times given their own rows across the day columns. Corrin edged past him with a mousy “excuse me” before turning to the group, “Is first thing in the morning on the second day okay for everyone?”

A chorus of agreement came from DLC.

The Princess of Two Kingdoms penciled in everyone’s name. 

Quinn walked back to the group with Corrin, a huge smile on his face as more bodies began to filter in, “Never thought I’d end up in a training camp again. We trained in teams at the school too.”

“Yeah!” Terry agreed, “Corrin and I’ve been talking, she said that the Smashers are usually pretty cliquey within their own universes, so training groups happen naturally. So I figured if us outsiders stick together, we can come into this thing pretty well rounded, even more so now with Dragon Lady in the mix.”

Quinn nodded in agreement as DLC went off to get their food.

A little later, Travis Touchdown found himself looking at the pieces of paper. What intrigued him the most was the named seminars. “Champions League” more so than any other. The Duel Champion Cloud, the Brawl Champion Kirby, the Melee champion Roy, and the Champion of the Twelve Mario were holding a training seminar on the first day of Physics Week. Much like how he had trained under wrestling champion turned assassin Thunder Ryu, he figured training with the Smash Champions couldn’t hurt. Edging up alongside him were Simon and Ritcher.

“A seminar would be a more advantageous way to learn than free form training wouldn’t it?” Ritcher asked his ancestor.

The blond nodded, “Yes, I agree.”

“So,” Ritcher asked, “Which seminar looks most intriguing to you?”

“Perhaps ‘Smashing with Mister Snake’ on the fifth morning ?’”

Ritcher raised an eyebrow as a line began to form, “The soldier? An intriguing decision. What is your rationale?”

“I feel as if we are connected to him. Trained in an art for a purpose greater than ourselves as opposed to some of the….what’s the term? People who participate in hand to hand combat for money?”

“Martial artists is the term, I believe. And yes, I feel the same way.” Ritcher said, penciling both he and Ritcher’s name into the proper seminar.

“OUTTA MY WAY LOSERS!” crowed a slew of voices simultaneously.

Wario, The Koopalings, and Porky pushed their way through the line, with Piranha Plant trotting behind. The group gruffly signed their names on an open slot on the fourth day, with Wario signing in Porky and Plant, “I hope you nerds are ready!” Wario bellowed to the entire dining hall.

As if on cue, Lucas, Ness, Red, and Cuphead entered the room, “You bet we are!”

“Look at this league of losers!” chortled Roy Koopa as their opponents sauntered up to the front of the now broken line, each signing their name in Wario’s gang’s training slot.

“See you jerks in the ring,” Lucas said in an uncharacteristically threatening manner as the group went elsewhere in the dining hall.

“Gotta sign my name before a brawl breaks out,” muttered Travis as he penciled in his name for Champions League.

**Later**

As the dinner hour was drawing to a close, Fox McCloud wandered into the room. His head hung, he walked up to the table, ignoring the small talk around him. Briefly, the thought crossed his mind to not sign up anywhere at all. It wasn’t that he didn’t deserve the beating he would get. He deserved that in spades. He just didn’t like the alternate option, having to fight them to survive the beating. Maybe if he didn’t commit to a date, everything would just…

The massive dining room hall door swung open. Standing in the door was Krystal. The dining room fell silent.

 _I guess we’ve been the talk of gossips around here_ Fox thought.

Krystal briskly walked up to the sign-in sheet, briefly pausing to bare her teeth to Fox. The leader of Star Fox watched as his ex-girlfriend penciled in her name, Falco’s and Wolf’s, both of whom were absent at the moment.

“You’ve got permission to sign documents in their name?” snarled Fox.

“I don’t need it,” growled an irritated Krystal, “As I understand it, they’ll be informed by ROB, the day before, and if they chicken out, that just leaves more of your cowardly behind to kick. That is if you can muster up the gumption to even sign up. Or, will you retreat to that old chestnut you use to solve all your problems, pushing people away? I know that’s swimming around in your head right now. Be the sniveling worm I know you are. Walk away. It’s your natural instinct.”

The chorus of ‘ooohs’ that came next sent a chill up McCloud’s spine, bringing him right back to the Academy days, when, as a young vulpine, he’d been made fun of for having a dead father or a traitorous one depending on the bully. Quickly eying the spreadsheet for Krystal’s delicate handwriting, he penciled in his own name next to those of his Lylatian brethren.

“I won’t be bullied by you,” snarled Fox.

Krystal huffed, “Hmm, maybe you do have more of a spine than I thought. I’ll be seeing you then.”

Turning on her heel, Krystal exited the Dining Room as soon as she had entered. Fox caught himself briefly watching Krystal’s rear shake from side to side as she strode out of the room, but he looked away in a flash. Being called a pervert in front of everyone would make an already bad night worse, and he didn’t want that for himself.

Looking at the spreadsheet one more time, Fox felt the dark cloud that had been his interpersonal drama lift. There was no undoing it. He was to undergo a potential execution by Smashing squad on the third night. His anxieties now gone, Fox observed the world around him. Whereas the dining room was usually full of pleasant chatter, newcomers and veterans alike were speaking in hushed, paranoid whispers. Having been around for every tournament so far, Fox had seen this play out every time. Nervousness about a new tournament, or a new experience entirely in the case of a newcomer, was common. But if felt…thicker somehow? Especially from the veteran groups. Fox couldn’t blame them, as there were so many fighting styles at play, he could imagine that the veterans had a lot to juggle with. Soon enough, he would be among them more likely than not. His mind was focused on one thing, Physics week, the culmination of all his bad decisions, and how he was to overcome it all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowee, that was probably the most difficult chapter I’ve ever written, but I’m incredibly proud with how it came out. But, I couldn’t have done it without some help. Special thanks to Bland Guy for making me question how to mix the Smash Brothers style and fighting sequences that are fun to read, Falco Player for his advice as it pertains to writing Saki, Readyforteddy for general edits, and Puph17 for his permission to use Fitness Bread.  
> The next arc, Physics Week, is upon us. Then, after a year and a gosh darn half, the tournament can finally begin!  
> Also, because AO3 allows you to post images, I added some touches to the WD Gaster scene


	34. Physics Week Part 1: Champions' League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travis goes to an educational seminar with two school girls, a wrestling cat, and a Kremling King.

**Physics Week Part 1: Champions’ League**

**Smash Mansion: Noon, Physics Week Day 1**

Travis Touchdown exited his two-bedroom suite with a spring in his step for the first time he had moved in. He had had plenty to be happy about. He’d received several gifts from the Smash Bros. The first was the completion of his t-shirt collection, whether that meant old ones that had been lost in moves between towns, or completely new ones. The second was a bevy of video game cartridge-esque “chips”, which he was assured would give him new powers more fit for the Smash arena. He could only absorb four of the eight at a time, but hey, new fantastical powers were new fantastical powers right? He didn’t even draw that badly when it came to roommates. Roy wasn’t a terrible man by any means, but once in a blue moon, it mirrored the experience one would have rooming with a fitness instructor with a love of a certain white powder and a Catholic nun all in one man. Whether it be his strict training regimen that involved being up and practicing sword technique at the crack of dawn, loudly practicing until the dead of night, critiquing the lack of art in the designs of his much-beloved t-shirt collection his insistence on keeping everything pure (Roy had once walked in on Travis’ private time with an image of one of his favorite anime characters and had made a big show about praying to the Goddess for salvation), there was always something that irked Travis about The Young Lion if ever so briefly. Between that and the obligation to make small talk with his roommate’s friends, Travis was feeling smothered.

Today was a special day though, Roy had gone down to the training rooms early to prepare for the Champions League seminar. Travis had slept in, finally gotten that private time, and ordered breakfast up to the room without so much as a fuss. Putting on his Crossface Chickenwing T-shirt over his signature red jacket and pocketing his Skill Chips lanyard, Travis skipped merrily to the main lobby. Nothing could ruin this day.

“Al-a-ga-zam Mister Touchdown!”

Travis’ head instinctually shot to the direction of the noise. It was Cuphead, the sentient teacup boy.

“What?” Travis asked, his tone sharp and annoyed.

“Hey man, B.C. I ain’t a punk.”

Suddenly, it clicked in Travis’ head, “Are you…speaking Ciazarn* at me?”

“Well yeah. You, the cat man, and those two girls are rasslers right. So surely you speak carny.”

Travis smirked. Something about the boy’s genuine niceness melted his initial annoyance

“Nah, ‘fraid I don’t.”

“Aw, graham crackers. At least you ‘an the girls ‘an the cat can put on a match in the Champions Club shindig today.”

Travis’s eyes went wide, “Really? They’re in on it too? What stage is it on?”

“The Battlefield stage I think.,”

“Thanks, kiddo,”

As Travis began his walk towards the flight of steps that lead to training rooms, he heard the wavering voice of Cuphead call out to him.

“Hey man, be careful down there. Bowser is putting his kids an’ the plant through the wringer on Super Happy Tree, probably to train them for their fight against my friends and I. Just uh… be careful,” said the boy, fidgeting with his enormous cartoon gloves, “Them schmucks are bad news.”

Travis nodded, smiling more warmly now, “I’ll be fine kiddo,”  
And so, his descent began. Down through the many sublevels, arriving at the training room labeled Battlefield. He paused briefly to listen to the sounds that echoed just a few doors away, the stage labeled “Super Happy Tree.” The cup kid hadn’t been lying. Claw swipes connecting with reptilian skin, jets of fire, small car engines revving, and most bizarrely of all, the rapid fluttering of leaves pierced the otherwise silent air.

 _The hell did I get myself into_ the assassin thought.

As he entered the room, he took in the sight before him. Mario, Cloud, Kirby, and Roy were all eagerly talking amongst themselves in the center of the room in a circle. The River City Girls duo were doing group stretches commonly seen in a martial arts class, the brunette Kyoko stretching the raven-haired Misako’s hamstrings. While the latter would’ve usually proven more interesting to Travis, his eyes were drawn to the pro-wrestling-style championship belts each of the four champions were wearing. Mario’s, like the logo of the famous “The 12” tournament, was the Smash logos built entirely out of black diamond, citrine, and fire opal. Roy’s, which was placed ornately around his waist, had an entirely crystal center plate, with the Smash Bros crosshair logo split between Amethyst jewels and black diamonds, each gem emblazoned across two crosshairs apiece. The belt Kirby wore across his entire circumference across his eyes was significantly darker than the other three, with an entirely Black Diamond background, with the crosshairs made entirely of a darkened garnet, with the faintest hints of citrine on its border. The most ornate belt belonged to Cloud, who’s crystal-based belt was of sapphire, flame-orange topaz, and rubies, with the ornate design ending in flame textured wings in which the gems were expertly melded together.

“Goddamn,” Travis breathed as every head in the room turned to him, “That’s some expensive ass jewelry you got there.”

Mario nodded, “Master Hand was very proud of them. If you win, you get them all.”

Travis’ eyes went wide, “Damn, seriously? On top of everything else? So is this just the world’s highest-stakes belt unification tournament or what?”

Mario put rubbed his chin in thought, “In a sense. You’ll-a learn more on opening day. For now, however…”

“We’re just waiting for Macho Man Randy Dorkage and the obese lizard to show up,” Misako snapped.

Every head in the room turned as a new voice thundered, “Young lady, I’ll have you know this is armor.”

King K. Rool marched into the room, growling from a snarl. Misako kipped to her feet, meeting King K. Rool in the center of the room, squaring up to him, “Awwww did I hurt wittle alligator’s feewings?” the brash girl mocked.

“Hey hey hey! Break it up!” squealed Kyoko, getting in between the two and pushing them apart.

“Hey don’t start the main event without me brothers!” yelled Incineroar as the musclebound Pokemon trudged into the room, “After all, you can’t have the main event without the women’s pet and the men’s regret.”

“Cease your fake fighting promotional prattle this instant!” demanded K.Rool.

Steam erupted from Incineroar’s nostrils, “Hey, I’ll show you fake jabroni.”

Mario cleared his throat, and everything stopped, every head in the room turning to look at him, “Anyway, now that we’re all here, I can officially welcome everyone to the Champions League seminar!”

“Here,” Roy began, “You will learn the physics of the Smash arena. That is, how each of you will maneuver within it.”

Cloud spoke next, “Additionally, you should know that all one needs to do to summon the supplies you need is to think about it. Under the tournament ruleset, you will only be granted four special moves.”

“You do not have to decide what these are until we record prefight interviews for the first round on Opening Day. Any training you participate in this week is a means for experimentation, nothing more,” Roy interjected.

“So, in other words, just have fun!” chirped Kirby.

Mario nodded, “The other champions summed it up better than I ever could have. Any questions?”

“I have one,” King K. Rool bellowed, “What of the Final Smash technique? I refuse to play the bongo drums like that infernal fool Donkey Kong!”

Mario coughed, covering his mouth. Travis saw the glint in the small man’s eyes as his head raised back up. He was trying not to laugh.

“Your Final Smash is a manifestation of your most powerful ability, or, in the case of some of us, a reflection of a time you felt most powerful, whether that be a day to day task or a defining moment in your life,” Mario explained, “It manifests differently for us all, and we typically find out when we get a Smash-a Ball for the first time. At least that’s how we think it works” Mario explained.

“You _think?_ “ snapped King K. Rool.

“The Hands had the most explicit knowledge of how Smash Balls and subsequently the Smash Core work, and they didn’t pass that on. Interdimensional being type mumbo jumbo I’m assumin’.’”

King K. Rool slowly nodded, bearing daggers at the leader of the Smashers when Incineroar spoke up, “I have one for the crocodile!”

Travis crossed his arms, a smirk on his face, “Oh, this should be good,” muttered the assassin.

“Why do you call yourself King K. Rool? It’s obvious you’re a king because you wear a crown! That would be like me calling myself Handsome Incineroar!” barked the wrestling Pokemon, smiling brightly to emphasize his point.

King K. Rool’s teeth gnashed as he stomped up to Incineroar, a low rumbling snarl emanating from his throat, “The crown,” hissed the king, “Is a symbol of royal status. I wouldn’t expect a meathead like you to understand.”

“I’d rather be a meathead than a blubber ass,” shot back Incineroar.

“Hey boys, settle it in the arena,” said Cloud, “Mario?”

Mario nodded. On cue, the room in which they stood materialized to The Battlefield, everything non-essential, such as the belts, vanishing as it did. The veterans smiled as the newcomers, took in the beautiful nature above and below them.

Travis immediately heard music. It appeared that somewhere, the most basic electric guitar cord accompanied the most lethargic drummer and synth keyboard player the multiverse had ever seen.

“Now,” Mario began, “In a tournament setting you would have individual spawn points, but for today’s exercise that isn’t a-necessary. As you can probably reckon, you lose a stock, or a point in time matches, when you fall off the stage into the blast zone. You can-a be knocked into the blast zone the higher your damage percentage is, which will increase as you take damage.”

Travis glanced at his communicator. The usual, smartphone styled UI had been replaced with a single counter, which read **Travis Touchdown: %0**

Kyoko piped up next, staring into the abyss of the blast zone, “We’re going to get knocked that far? How will we recover if we fall that far?”

Mario smirked, “Easy. Since you two are a duo, try jumping to one of those platforms,” he ordered them, gesturing wide to encompass moth of the lower parts of the triangle.

Together, the jumped into the air, jumping again, pirouetting higher through the air, with just enough height to land on the top platform.

“THAT WAS RAD!” shrieked Misako.

“What was?” asked Travis.

“When you jump a second time, it’s like….it’s like you can walk on air for a split second,” Kyoko called down to him.

“Cool, I’ll try the other one,” Travis said, flashing a cocky smirk at them.

Strutting to just below the right-most platform in the triangle. Travis leaped into the air. He thought about a second jump and, just as Kyoko had described, he felt himself standing on air. Immediately, he pushed forward, allowing his body, tucked into a ball, to roll towards the opposite platform. Landing on his knees, his sword out in front of him, he landed on the platform. As Travis looked to where the champions stood, Mario was grinning ear to ear, while the other three champions applauded lightly “Oh ho ho! This youngin’ wants to do moves already. Nice-a form Travis, but we aren’t ready for that yet. Incineroar, you try for the platform on the left now,” commanded the Champion of The 12

Incineroar nodded, strutting to the left platform. Travis’ eyes narrowed, as Incineroar was copying his confident stride exactly. Was that a shot at him? Travis had no time to ponder, however, as, with almost no effort. Incineroar leaped into the air, crossing his arms into an X-shape, the whole thing culminating in a small explosion, as Incineroar stood, flexing his biceps.

“Nice flare Incineroar,” Mario said, his arms crossed, “But as I a-said, no moves just yet,”

For the first time, the group Incineroar make a bashful, almost embarrassed expression casting his glance at the stone floor, “That’s the thing brother. I uh…can't jump very good,” muttered the wrestler

Mario cast him a thumbs up, “That’s okay buddy! Most of our heavier guys have that problem, and it looks like whatever move that is doing the job pretty well.”

Incineroar, flexed again, back to his cocky self in a nanosecond, “I call it The Cross-Chop baby!”

Suddenly, the group heard a loud, dismissive huff. Everyone turned to see K. Rool, eyes closed, arms crossed.

“The Cross Chop? I’ve never heard of such absurdity. Such problems must be solved with science and technology. Why, if I had my Propellerpack I would…”

And with that, the yellow, double helicopter bladed backpack appeared on K. Rool’s back. The Kremling King nearly fell forward, both from the tremendous weight shift and the newbies flinching. He rebalanced, feeling the controls for the Propellerpack in his claws. His eyes widening in realization was followed by howling with triumphant laughter, King K. Rool took off into the air. Each of the other participants watched K.Rool as he ascended, higher than any of them had, with the Pack suddenly losing momentum as K.Rool floated lazily down to the top platform. Misako immediately kicked the king in the gut, locking her hands around his massive reptilian jaw, and planting firmly on her behind. The momentum traveled directly to King K. Rool’s jaw, the force of the blow knocking him onto his back, “That’s for earlier fatty,” hissed Misako.

“And King K. Rool just learned about special moves. As we said back there, if you can imagine it, you can do it. However, there are two lessons to be learned. Overuse leaves you open and predictable. Secondly, nothing counters a special move faster than straight ahead, no-nonsense technique. The best Smashers know how to balance the two. You can also use certain special moves in the air to recover, but everyone’s movements are limited after the move. Now, before we get into some freestyling, do we have any questions?”

“I do,” Travis said, raising his hand, “Can we turn this music off? It’s looped about seven times since I got here and it’s like someone is drilling my skull.”

Mario raised an eyebrow, “You don’t-a like the training music?”

“Can’t say I’ve ever been a fan,” grumbled Travis, “Too grating for me. I like learning to something a little more fast-paced, something a little more intricate.”.

“You kids,” Mario tutted, “Your-a constant need for adrenaline pumping stimulation is unsettling, to say the least. This is what the Original 12 trained to, back in the day, a classic.”

“More outdated than old school, but…”

“You’re all wrong,” Mario began with a sagely yet annoyed shake of his head, “It’s a simple rhythm, nothing overwhelming, carefree, composed to show growth as you master techniques of increasing difficulty.”

“Didn’t know you were a musician old man,” Travis smirked.

“I’ll have you know dis ‘old man’ grew up in the theater. Music and a play with a three-act structure are much the same as learning any new skill. It helped me a lot to learn that.”

Travis nodded, “Never was much for theater, but you may not be talkin’ crazy after all.”

Roy laughed as both men looked towards him, “So you’re less of an unlearned punk than I thought you!” boomed The Young Lion, “Come hither, and let our blades clash in battle!”

“Alright,” Mario proclaimed, “You heard the man! Free training is ON!”

Travis leaped from the platform on which he stood, standing right in front of Roy.

“Ready?”

Travis nodded, bringing his beam katana to the ready.

Roy launched forward, with two stabbing blows and a vertical cut, all of which Travis blocked, quickly answering with his own horizontal dices, Roy seemed to stagger. On a fourth blow, Roy suddenly jumped back into his ready stance, flashing just as the beam katana connected. Faster than Travis could even comprehend, Roy landed a slashing blow on him, knocking him backward.

“The hell was that?” demanded Touchdown.

“My counter. When Marth and I started competing, there was nothing quite like it in competition. Now, the effect’s been a bit diluted over time.”

Travis kipped up to his feet, “What, ya bitter?”

Roy laughed, “Not at all. I’m quite happy to be a trailblazer in fact,”

“Meh, I think it’s cheap,”

Again, Roy laughed. Travis felt his skin crawl. Jovial people like that reminded him a bit too much of Destroyman for his liking.

“Don’t worry,” boomed Roy, “ I’ll let you try your…erm…computer chips eventually. But for now…”

Roy swung back into his Double Edge slices without warning, varying his attacks between low and high. Travis broke in when the combination came to a stop, slicing at Roy, the difference being after three slices, Roy managed to pepper in a ‘jab’ a thrusting strike with the side of his sword. Travis recoiled, turning away from Roy. Travis prepared a behind the back thrust, waiting for Roy to flash. Travis thrust his beam katana backward, pausing just as Roy flashed, then bringing his sword back, and completing the move. Roy pressed a button on his wrist communicator to quickly bring up a shield. Upon contact with the beam katana, the shield popped like a balloon, sending Roy into the air. When he came down, he popped right back up but was still recoiling as though he’d been electrocuted. Travis stepped behind Roy, hooking his arms, and hoisting him behind him as he himself bridged, completing the Dragon Suplex.

Roy slowly got to his feet, “Ah, well. You remind me quite a bit of Sir Marth, except you are much more versatile, and your technique is much more painful. At the very least, now you know about shields. When you’re in a fight, the only thing you can do, besides look at your damage percentage, is activating your shield with a push of the center button.”

Travis nodded, “I’ll keep that in mind. Can I try out these chips now?”

Roy nodded back, “Aye!”

Travis removed the lanyard from his jacket pocket, thumbing through the chips at random, thumbing through it, picking one at random. Squinting to read the small chips even smaller label on the chip, he saw the word “Heavy” scribbled across it crudely with a sharpie. He shrugged. He’d have the entire week to test all of them. Pressing the chip up to one of the four slots that had been engraved into his sword, the chip transformed into a green wireframe skeleton of itself before melting into his beam sword. He snapped his gaze up. On the top platform, King K. Rool and The River City Girls were sparring. King K. Rool had a purse shaped welt on his snout.  
  
_Maybe I can curry favor with the fatass if I trade-off_ thought Travis.

“Hey ladies,” called Travis, “Wanna try out my new chips?”

“Oooh, that really depends. Do you have queso or salsa?” asked Kyoko.

Travis shook his head, a grin on his face, “Nah, I don’t mean chips you eat, I mean powerups.”

Misako snickered as Kyoko’s eyes brightened to an impossible joy, “Yay! Powerups! I’d love to try!”

The Girls jumped down to meet Travis eagerly.

“Alright,” Travis said, lowering his guard, “Hit me with a move brother,”

“You’re funeral,” Misako teased, sticking her tongue out at Travis.

Misako lunged forward. With his thumb, Travis pressed the indent that the chip had gone into. A hypnotic circle of light and dark erupted around Travis. As Misako entered the circumference, she began to slow to a snail’s pace.

“Ohhhhh screwwwwww youuuuuu assholllle,” warbled the slowed-down voice of Misako as she realized what was happening.

Travis cockily stepped behind Misako and hit her with the now all too familiar Dragon Suplex. As Travis kipped to his feet, he caught a boomerang-shaped blast of light out of the corner of his eye as it connected with him, slashing him in seemingly a million different ways. The impact knocked him onto his back.

“Tee hee, that was funny,” mused Kyoko as Cloud sauntered over, looking down at Travis.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Cloud said, a shit-eating grin on his face, “ It doesn’t slow attacks down, which is good, because if I had to deal with more Witch Time bullshit .”

“Cloudanettaaaaaaa,” Kirby sang, not even breaking from judo throwing Incineroar and King K. Rool simultaneously.

“H-hey! I’m not bitter,” sputtered Cloud.

Roy and the River City Girls simultaneously covered their mouths to avoid the angry ex-SOLDIER’s wrath. Roy spoke first, “Jokes aside Sir Strife, I believe you owe us an explanation for interrupting our duel without so much as a warning,”

Cloud offered his hand to Travis. Travis took it, hopping to his feet. Cloud pulled him in close, so the two were eye to eye, “To tell the young guns something, especially this smart ass. You may be a hell of a fighter. I thought I was when I started here, but Smash is quite unlike anything you’ve ever dealt with. Things that you wouldn’t think are weapons just…are, without any reason or rhyme beyond the person using them. You need to be more vigilant than ever.”

Travis’ teeth gritted. His initial thoughts were those of defiance, but he paused to consider his situation. A schoolgirl had given a crocodile a Stunner. Leaves and cars were viable weapons. As this thought flashed through his head, his face softened, “Thanks for the advice,” he muttered.

Cloud’s stone-serious face transformed back into the grin he’d seen before, “It just dawned on you didn’t it?” he laughed, finally letting go of Travis’ hand.

Travis used his now free hand to sheepishly rub the back of his head, “Yeah…”

“Good, we’re makin’ progress,” said Mario arms contently crossed near the edge of Battlefield, “Don’t suppose you’ll humor him and Roy with a bit of a sparring session, will you?”

“Not at all sir,” said Cloud.

“Girls, get over there and take your lumps with a-Kirby.”

Both girls eagerly nodded, jogging over to join Kirby’s judo exhibition, all the while mocking King K. Rool for his loud, righteous complaining.

And so, the group trained long into the night. Travis’ mind was usually a clear place during a battle, he’d been around long enough to know that any errant thought meant death. Each chip he demoed brought him little comfort as Cloud’s advice clawed at him. For every big move, he could pull out as a Smasher, for every big move his opponent could pull out. , there was always someone meaner, more experienced, looking to pull out something bitter. Travis felt the seeping dread overtake him as the thought that this applied to his upcoming battles against Conker’s evil forces as much as it did the tournament.

And that’s when Cloud broke his guard, drawing a kanji symbol with a blue and yellow after effect. The damage was too much. Travis was sent flying off the stage into the blast zone. The Santa Destroy native could only meekly cry out, He felt a green aura heal his rather nasty sword wounds and patch his shirt in complete darkness. Suddenly, he found himself in the mansion courtyard in the dark of night, his impossibly sweaty training compatriots standing alongside him, and the Mansion a distance away.

“Hoo boy,” fretted Mario, “When I said I was a-gonna call it after the first elimination, didn’t think it’d take all day,”

Cloud shrugged, “That’s my bad. I was so into the swordplay with Travis that I kinda got lost in it,”

Roy nodded, “I must admit the same. Your computer chips are incredible Mister Touchdown!”

Kirby squealed with delight, “Same Mario. I had too much fun throwing around Incineroar and the king!”

“I am not a toy, you fool. I am the great King K. Rool, and you threw me around because I allowed it.”

Kirby suddenly looked downcast. Incineroar’s gaze snapped over to the pink puffball, “It’s okay Kirby! It was a valuable lesson to not underestimate your opponent! I gotta keep training brother!”

Immediately the puffball brightened, “Yay! Training is fun!”

The group headed towards the mansion, the only words between them were compliments of a good fight. Travis as the others entered the mansion. As Travis and Roy were about to cross the threshold of the Mansion together, Roy asked, “ What do you plan to do with the rest of your evening Sir Touchdown?”

Travis shrugged, “Might grab a quick bite, then shower.”

Roy nodded, “Aye. I was going to shower and then eat. I must look presentable in the dining hall after all!”

“Whatever floats your boat,” Travis said with a grin.

Roy grinned back, “I suppose what I’m saying is that we’ll cross each other’s path, but not see each other until morning. Have a good night my friend! I look forward to seeing you demonstrate those incredible computer chips sooner rather than later.”

Travis chuckled as Roy stepped in front of him to enter the Mansion. His fascination with the chips was endearing. Just as Travis went to enter the mansion himself, he felt a hand clasp his shoulder. The assassin wheeled around to see Mario had been standing behind him, fatherly concern in his eyes,

“Were we in your way old man?” chided Travis

Mario shook his head, “Nah, I actually wanted to talk to you privately You doin’ alright friend?”

Travis frowned, goosebumps lining his upper arm, “Why do you ask?” he asked, his voice full of a defensive snapping tone.

You seemed a little flustered after your heart to heart with Cloud.” Mario explained, seemingly unaffected by Travis’ hostility.

The anger in the heart of Santa Destroy’s favorite son deflected like a balloon with a beam katana puncture. He grinned down at the portly man, “Just mulling over what he said. I have a lot to think about.”

Mario nodded, “It’s-a only natural. But I think if you all go in with the right frame of mind, I genuinely think your class of recruits could take this tournament by storm. You’ve got four days to use any open stages at your leisure. Use it, my friend. Use it,” he said, his face turning stern at the last part.

Travis nodded. Mario patted him on the shoulder as he moved past Travis to enter the Mansion. Travis turned briefly, hands on his hips. Sweat had a habit of making a cool night even cooler as if standing contemplatively in a walk-in freezer. Travis sighed, the thoughts of today’s training session rudely interrupting the peace, heading back into the Mansion.

. 

`

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Stuffukins and WhyNoSchut for help on this chapter. Such productive back and forth between authors is possible because of the Super Smash Prose, which is linked in my bio.
> 
> .


	35. Physics Week Part 2: DLC Trains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banjo sleeps in, and Quinn has anxiety.

**Physics Week: Part 2**

**DLC Trains**

**Smash Mansion, Afternoon**

Edelgard von Hresvelg’s eyes slowly opened. She shifted to check the window. While digital clocks were on every bedstand, Edelgard hadn’t gotten used to them. A clock in one’s room was an absurd luxury in her home country, to the point where only the richest (and gaudiest, in her opinion) of the rich had them. Even then, having the numbers displayed in plain numbers, as opposed to numerals on a difficult to see clockface was something she had difficulty programming her mind to register. Instead, she stood and looked out the window. Trained to be an officer in the military, she found it most efficient to calculate the time by looking at the position of the sun in the sky. As she ran through the idioms mentally that helped her remember, the realization hit her like a shot from a ballista.

“HUBERT,” screamed the princess, “WHY ARE WE LATE FOR THE TRAINING?”

As if by magic, Hubert materialized at the door to her room. The man was light-footed and speedy as to be ridiculous.

“I had precisely the same question when I didn’t hear from the bear at sunrise as was instructed. The bird, however, was raring to go, and was quite mouthy when I asked.”

Edelgard smirked, “By the Goddess, those two. I wonder how they function together, despite having such opposing personalities?”

Mirroring her smirk, Hubert muttered, “Your guess is as good as mine milady,”

As Edelgard and Hubert shared a light chuckle, both their communicators rang. It was a new message from the “DLC” group chat from Terry.

“Banjo says he’ll be ready in 20 minutes. HEY C’MON.”

Edelgard rolled her eyes, “Why does Mister Bogard insist on littering his written word with his verbal ticks?”

Hubert paused, putting his finger to his chin, mulling over his next point, “I feel like all the psychological study in the world would fail to pin down the habits of everyone here, The brightest minds in the field would be left stumped.”

Edelgard nodded, with a knowing grin, “Yes. To understand our new friends would require principles we haven’t begun to theorize about yet. Now, please allow me to change into my armor.”

Hubert nodded, “Of course Your Highness,” he sputtered as he left the room.

**15 minutes later, Stage Floor.**

DLC wasn’t a hard crowd to find. Ambling outside the door labeled Spiral Mountain, on what had been dubbed “The Stage Floor,” the place where one could directly access the many available arenas of the tournament. As Edelgard took in the scene, Hubert dutifully behind her as always, she noticed everyone was off in their own worlds. Terry and Corrin were chatting off to one side, Joker was leaning lazily against the door. Altair’s eyes darted around as he stood rigidly next to Quinn, who was shadowboxing with vigor. The only one who looked even remotely comfortable now was Erdrick, who was flicking a small ember up, and then catching it as it came down.

“Good afternoon Erdrick,” called Edelgard.

Erdrick let the flame extinguish naturally as he looked up to greet her, “Same to you Lady Edelgard, Sir Hubert,”

“Hello Lady Edelgard,” greeted Corrin as she and Terry turned to look at them.

“Hello to you as well Lady Corrin. Everyone seems…cross today,”

“It’s because Banjo just got out of bed,” explained Corrin, “We’ve had to stand guard all morning to make up for lack of promptness,”

“I will have a word with Mister Banjo when he gets here,” snarled Hubert.

“You will have to wait in line behind me,” Altair muttered.

At this, Quinn stopped shadowboxing. Edelgard suppressed a giggle as the already thick tension in the group turned even thicker.

“I suggest,” she began, “That we quiet our irritation with Banjo. Divergent work ethics and sleep schedules are something one must deal with when accounting for a large group like this one. Banjo will get his comeuppance in due time when he must truly wake up early.”

“Ever the wise words Your Highness,” rang the voice of Hubert behind her.

“Yeah,” nodded Joker, “The amount of times I’ve had to drag Ryuji out of bed almost gives me honorary rights as his parent.”

Hubert chuckled. Now, every pair of eyes, even if they’d only been half paying attention was focused on Hubert. Edelgard had to suppress yet another giggle. Hubert wasn’t a man without humor, but it came out very rarely, in lightning quick bursts, so it always shocked people when Hubert wore anything beyond a dower frown, let alone expressed anything

“Speaking of which,” asked Corrin, “Where are the rest of the Phantom Thieves?”

Joker rolled his eyes, “Where else? The Game Room. Futaba is trying to conduct a history lesson on the wonders of Final Fantasy 7 with weird HD texture pack she found, but it’s mostly her just crushing on the women.”

Corrin snorted, “And how is that going?”

“I mean, Makoto told everyone she can’t wait to meet her aunt when Tifa appeared on screen, so, I’d imagine well.”

The group chuckled, only to be interrupted by a shrill, squawking voice they knew all too well, “Sup nerds, the fun’s arrived,”

Everyone turned to look down the hall, to see Banjo walking towards them, his ears uncharacteristically low, with Kazooie in his backpack, flexing her wings in a theatrical fashion

“You have a lot to answer for bear,” snarled Altair.

“I’m so sorry,” Banjo spoke, his voice rife with embarrassment, “Sometimes I sleep through my alarm,”

“Apology accepted Banjo,” Edelgard said, glaring daggers at Altair, “Just try your best next time.”

Banjo nodded happily his ears standing upright now, “Gyuh-huh! Now, let’s head in!”

One by one, each of the eight Smashers entered the room, Banjo being the last, shutting the door to the, at present, all-white room behind him. Immediately, Kazooie began to crow, “I wanna change the music!”

As if at Kazooie’s word, an arcade machine like console appeared in a corner. Quinn sat cross-legged and began to meditate as the bear and bird bickered over the music selection. As quickly as it began, the two came to a happy agreement, over the “Treasure Trove Cove” song. The blank arena terraformed into a lush green field at the top of a spinning mountain, overlooking an even lusher, more serene field.

“So how are we going to do this?” Joker asked.

Kazooie and Banjo shrugged simultaneously, “Just kinda monkey around I guess,” squawked the bird, her tone flippant.

Edelgard nodded enthusiastically, “Ah! Live exercises always bring the most informative lessons. Good luck to you all!”

**Rules: 5 stocks, Items: All, Low**

**Stage: Spiral Mountain**

**Music: Treasure Trove Cove**

**3**

A murmuring chorus of “good luck” quietly cut across the slightly chilly mountain air as DLC all took quick glances at each other, assuming their fighting stances

**2**

**1**

GO!

The sounds of a groovy beach tune rang in the air for a split second, and then it erupted. Almost as if on autopilot Quinn found himself quickly ducking and dodging sword swipes, eggs, fists, and whatever magical funk Joker’s moveset consisted of. Taking a few errant hits from Altair and Erdrick, he realized how over his head he was. He had done multiple eight-way Smashes in his days in the Brawler school with his classmates, and co-training with a few offshoot Mii Gunner and Mii Swordsmen training camps, but once you’d seen the odd charge blast, or learned how to best bring your fists to a sword fight, you’d more or less seen it all. However, this was completely different. A sword slash from Erdrick knocked _someone_ into him. The shock made his body go numb as he lost a stock. He didn’t even feel the time with the Healing Plant, the next thing he knew, he was back on the halo platform. Somewhere, someone opened an assist trophy and a Metroid ambled past him. Quinn jumped off the halo platform to jump back into the fight As Quinn jumped into the air, only to be pummeled by a Wonder Wing, trying to jump while using his somersaulting thrust kick to gain upward momentum, miss the ledge, and lose a stock. He felt anxiety overtake him. His brain might be a confusing mess, but his body was autopiloting. Years of training for exactly this kind of thing meant that this was as natural to him as walking to the refrigerator. Leaping into the fray once again to introduce his kick pad to the faces of Banjo, Altair, Terry, and Corrin, and this time nailing a recovery flip kick when Corrin had tried to respond by swiping him off stage. Across the field, Joker had unleashed the wish-granting Pokemon Victini on the world, granting him a Final Smash. As a result, the world turned dark, as if a storm was brewing overhead. As it soon became apparent, the only storm in the forecast was an All-Out Attack, unleashed on poor Erdrick. As Joker’s gremlin friend commanded the rest of the Thieves to “Beat ‘em up!” Joker struck his pose, and Erdrick’s fifth stock ceased to exist. Erdrick came back into the fray angry, on the side of the field in which himself and Terry had gotten into a martial arts exhibition, waylaying each other with punches and kicks, and blocking accordingly. They’d also taken the opportunity to touch base.

“Damn it,” Terry had said as he blocked yet another kick from Quinn, “I’m down to three stocks.”

“Are you? I haven’t noticed,” Quinn muttered, “Really, everything that’s going on has just been noise.”

Terry laughed, “Tunnel vision is getting to you too huh? My brain can’t even process what’s goin’ on!”

Suddenly, Quinn had felt a hot flash of anger well up within him. Being a Smasher was his life work, and in the face of such a miserable performance, Terry was _laughing_? Quinn cried out, an angry howl ripping at his throat as he threw an elbow at Terry’s nose. Terry’s proboscis immediately broke on impact, blood cascading into his mouth.

“Heh,” Terry spat, “So you wanna play rough eh? I like it!”

“Mister Bogard, I am so sor-“

“HI-YAH”

As quickly as Quinn heard Erdrick’s angered cry and the following slice of cold steel connect with his shoulder, he was flying. His ragdolling body blew past Terry, knocking them off of the grassy comfort of the mountain, and into the air. Quinn jumped to get back, feeling his boot connect with Terry’s hat. Pushing off The Legendary, Wolf, he landed back on the mountain, seeing the colorful explosion behind him that signaled the continued dwindling of Terry’s stock count.

 _My first kill as a Smasher, and it’s by complete accident, nice,_ thought the young Brawlet, the inner sarcasm ripping at his soul despite that no one had willed that negativity into the world but him.

Quinn barely had time to register the orb of darkness hurdling toward him, which, upon contact, erupted, consuming yet another stock. Three stocks down. The routine had become familiar and embarrassing in equal parts. Void, healing plant, halo platform. This time, a Galaga had speared, taking Edelgard who, with a hint of humor in her voice, cried, “My battle ends here!” as the pixelated spaceship dragged her towards a flashy star KO, and crushed a stock.  
Another Smash Ball had spawned, and again, Joker had siphoned its power into himself. Again, All-Out Attack connected, Joker’s gremlin friend hooted something about pain. This time, both Erdrick and Edelgard were victims, that latter of whom who had gotten off the halo platform with a wreckless vigor, and paid the price. As it was on to do, Quinn’s brain made him imagine himself in that exact same scenario, for no other reason than to mess with him the Brawler figured. He took note of his mischievous imagination with a knowing nod.

 _New plan. Dodge everything. Survive_ Quinn decided.

Jump, jump, flip kick. Grab onto the ledge. Jump, jump, flip kick.

He felt the volts of electricity that came with Erdrick’s basic lightning attack and….did Kazooie just shit a grenade? He heard Terry cry out, followed by the warmth of a blast of fireworks that signified a KO Joker had _yet another_ Final Smash somehow and had taken Erdrick out of the equation again. The voice of Joker’s friend was like nails on a chalkboard at this point. . In all the fracas. Quinn missed his flip kick again, earning himself a completely unnecessary knockout. Terry meanwhile was whacked over the head with Kazooie, sending him to the blast zone for the penultimate time as well.

 _New plan, kick everyone’s ass_ the primal voice inside of Quinn’s head.

For the next few minutes, Quinn was vibing. Not as well as he would’ve liked per se, but vibing. Landing punches and kicks, including hitting five of his seven opponents with the same midair thrust kick. He felt more confident taking damage too. Maybe he could hang with the big boys. Take a big, clubbing midair forearm from Banjo, That’s no problem! Just grab the ledge and…  
The ledge slipped out of his hand. Quinn tried to pathetically flip kick his way up, almost on reflex at this point, but it only prolonged his meeting with the loser’s board.

**QUINN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!”**

A quick bath in the light of the Healing Plant later, Quinn found himself in the auditorium above the Spiral Mountain stage. He felt numb. He watched the action below him, but he felt nothing. Maybe he had hoped against hope that a ticket to the Ultimate Tournament would turn this average, studious, Brawler into the second coming of his teacher Hart Bromeister himself?

**TERRY BOGARD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED**

A few seconds later, Terry appeared before him, grinning from ear to ear,

“WUBBA WUBBA! Did you see that?” crowed the Hungry Wolf.

“Nah, kinda got lost in the moment just there,” muttered Quinn, not taking his eyes off of the action below.

Terry’s big, American smile faltered for a nanosecond, but then picked back up. “Erdrick’s Final Smash. He summons all of his friends and slices you with his power imbued sword like some magical girl anime crap.”

“Ah,” was all Quinn could muster in response.

At this, Terry finally frowned, “Are you okay?”

“Not the time Terry,”

“No man, I’m genuinely asking, you hanging in there?” asked the blond, edging closer to Quinn.

**EDELGARD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED**

With the same pause between elimination and deposit in the auditorium, Terry had been treated too. Edelgard appeared, 

“Blast that Erdrick,” muttered the future Empress, “His swordplay is beyond even my ax skills, and his spellcasting could outclass the finest mages at the Officer’s Academy without a thought,”

Terry laughed, “Yeah, that spikey-haired dude’s a tough cookie. All of ‘em are, the rest of DLC and Erdrick’s anime friends, else wise they wouldn’t be here. But we’ll figure it out, won’t we Qui-“

Subconsciously, Terry had begun to throw a friendly arm over Quinn’s shoulder, but the young man brushed it off, stomping up to the top of the auditorium, and genuflecting facing the wall.

“Hey, was it something I sai-“ Terry protested

Quinn could barely make out whatever Edelgard whispered in response, but Terry let out a soft, “Ohhhh,” of understanding.

And that was the way Quinn Marmaduke sat until the near end of the contest, only breaking into a smile when he heard Banjo bellow “GYHUCK THAT GYHUCKIN’ ALL OUT ATTACK CRAP!” before eliminating Joker with the same big clubbing forearm that had led to his own elimination. Eventually, after a well-timed upward sword thrust to Banjo and Kazooie, Altair won the bout. Immediately, Corrin began speaking, “We have five seconds until the camera drones come for us. When they focus in on you, clap!”

As if on cue, seven drones flew into the room, each focusing on one of the losing Smashers. Meanwhile, in the Smash Mansion courtyard, Altair dove from off-camera into a waiting hay cart.

**ALTAIR WINS!  
**Pulling an impossible backflipping pirouette out of a hay cart, landing so perfectly as to make the coldest Russian gymnastics judge blush, and victoriously thrusting his sword into the air, the camera cut to a red splash background, focusing in on Altair in that pose. The Smash 64 tournament bracket theme began to play (the tune Smash veterans referred to as “The Hold Music”) as the camera suddenly faded to black, and Altair was before them. The seven drones floated out a single file, and the elevator to bring the gang back to ground level appeared. Over his shoulder, he saw Altair cast a sympathetic yet knowing glance at him, nod, and make his way to the elevator, the rest of DLC eventually doing the same. Quinn wiped the tears away after what seemed like sitting in silence for an eternity. Hopping up and down on his toes to get blood back into his legs, he eventually departed Spiral Mountain’s auditorium.

**Dormitory Hallway**

Eating was beyond him at the moment. He was too sick with dread and embarrassment to eat. He couldn’t face Altair, nor could he bare Sans’ inevitable jokes. The room and the dining areas were out of the question, so at this point, anywhere to go would do.

As if by magic, a door that he had never seen open flung open. A tiny green star with eyes thrust itself out of the eerie rainbow emanating from the door, whooping victoriously, before snapping to attention and floating back in. Out of sheer curiosity, Quinn found himself walking into the light. On the other side was a softly lit room, only lit by a few candles. The other lights in the room came from the veritable rainbow of multi-colored stars sat around a carpet, as one might see in a pre-school. In the center was a beautiful woman in a sky-blue dress. She appeared to be reading a book to her star companions.

“So the wolf showed his teeth and said ‘I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN!’”

The stars clamored amongst each other excitedly. But suddenly, the woman’s gaze snapped up. The eye that Quinn could see, her left one was a urethral blue. Her hair was cut unevenly, so her other eye was covered by a platinum bob.

“I-I’m sorry to bust in like this I just…” Quinn stammered, reeling from the woman’s sudden gaze.

“It’s not a problem. One of my Lumas got a bit too hyper and opened the door. Maybe it destined for us to meet this way.”

Quinn simply nodded.

“My name is Rosalina, and these are my children, Lumas.”

“Oh, hello Rosalina,” he said, doing a general wave around the room, “Hello Lumas.”

Rosalina, meanwhile, addressed the room of colorful stars “Children, Quinn has decided to join us! Say hello to our new friend everyone.”

The stars spoke in the same chitter that they had as the woman read to them, but the infliction was consistent with a “Hello Quinn,”

Shaking himself out of his stupor in order to right his understanding of the world, Quinn stammered, “How do you know my name? I’ve never seen you before.”

The woman giggled, “Mario communicates with me, plus the Lumas saw you exercising the first weekend we were all together.”

“Oh? What did they tell you about me?”

Another giggle. Absolutely heaven-sent.

“They don’t ‘tell’ me anything. They are much as part of me as I am of them. Therefore, I see what they see when I choose to. I believe Doctor Mario remarked we had a ‘symbiotic” relationship, which is fitting as we are all one. “

“Uh-huh…” grunted a slack-jawed Quinn.

One of the Lumas, a powder blue one, began to circle around him, stopping and grunting squeakily. The black saucers the Lumas had for eyes didn’t betray any emotions at all, but, judging by the long, sad squeak that emanated from the thing, it was one of concern.

“Yes, I agree little one,” Rosalina said to the Luma, now making eye contact with Quinn, “You seemed troubled. Would you like to tell us what is wrong?”

Quinn opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly he shook his head, “Nah, it’s too fresh. I’d get too angry and ruin the vibe you have going,”

“I respect that,” nodded Rosalina her eyes baring down on him with genuine, motherly concern, “Would you like to join us for storytime?” she asked.

Quinn nodded and took a seat in between two Lumas

 _How is this woman real_ he asked himself as she softly cleared her throat to begin.

And so, Quinn listened as Rosalina regaled the Lumas with the rest of The Three Little Pigs. Despite the simplicity of the story, the Lumas hung on every word, reacting at all the right points, and in all the right ways as well. Quinn hadn't been around such good-natured naivety in a long time. Eventually, Rosalina finished the story (jarring to Quinn, as he hadn’t remembered that the Big Bad Wolf had ended up as the pig’s supper) as the Lumas cheered happily.

“Now,” Rosalina said, “You’re free to go play!”

The Lumas took to flying out of the large, open, bay window behind Rosalina to dance about in the evening sky. Rosalina, meanwhile, used magic to shelve the book in an enormous bookshelf to one side of the room. From there, she locked eyes with Quinn once again. Quinn waited for the kindly woman to speak, but as she continued her silence, hands regally folded in her lap, Quinn cleared his throat, “Thank you Rosalina. That… um… reminded me of my own childhood.”

Rosalina nodded, “I’m glad you enjoyed it. If you don’t mind me asking, what was your childhood like?”

Quinn paused before speaking, “My mom and dad…um…disappeared when I was five. I barely remember them, but I do remember them reading books with me and playing with me as a baby, hence why…all of this was so warming.”

“Oh, how dreadful! You must have been awfully sad growing up,”

Quinn shook his head, “No. The orphanage that I grew up in was super kind to me and all that. And, it’s not as uncommon as you think it is for a Mii’s parents to disappear.”

The woman’s forehead wrinkled, “Is it?”

Quinn nodded, “Sometimes Miis get called away from Wuhu to another world and just…don’t come back. It’s kinda what drove me to be a Smasher at first so that I could see the multiverse and find them. Once I got started, I realized that I liked the fighting.”

Rosalina nodded softly, her concerned eyes locked on Quinn, “Perhaps you…lost your way in both those regards today?”

Quinn blushed, expression downcast, “You could…say that.”

Rosalina smiled, “It’s quite alright. When I took the first steps in my journey, I often longed to go back, to nestle in the comfort of where I began, but as my understanding of my situation grew, my desire to cower from the challenge lessened.”

Quinn pondered Rosalina’s wisdom. He felt the weight of his anxieties lift ever so slightly.

“You’re right. I’ll keep that in mind. Enough about me though! What about you? What was your childhood like?”

Rosalina’s lips parsed into a smirk, “That, my friend, is a story for another time.”

Quinn mirrored her smirk, “I suppose you have that on your bookshelf too?”

“Oh, I do.”

“I was joking.”  
I know.”

The two were silent for a while before Quinn piped up.

“Well, I gotta grab dinner!”

“Ah, do enjoy it!” Rosalina said with a brisk wave, “I’m sure we’ll be in each other’s company sooner rather than later,”

“Yeah..” Quinn trailed off as he headed out the door.  
_What the hell was that_ was Quinn’s final thought on the subject as he trotted down to dinner.


	36. Physics Week Part 3: Star Fox Explodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has finally come for Fox McCloud to pay for his sins.

**Physics Week Part 3**

**Star Fox Explodes**

**Physics Week: Day 3  
Smash Mansion**

**Early morning**

**Dumbass,**

**We’re scrappin’ on Hyrule Castle 64 today.**

**Your friend,**

**Falco**

That was the crudely written sticky note Fox had found on the closet in his room today. Grabbing a cherry granola bar and a bottle of water, Fox headed down to the Stage Floor. He passed a few of the Smashers that had seen his confrontation with Krystal a few nights earlier. Olimar, Ratchet, Clank, and Sly Cooper all cast their glances downward as he walked by. The Belmonts clasped their hands in prayer and cast an empathetic utterance to their god. Each interaction saw Fox’s chills grow stronger. He felt like a man being led to the gallows, the thing on the other end of the handcuffs being his guilty, remorseful heart, the executioners being his friends. Eventually, he got to the original interpretation of Hyrule Castle’s door, but the experience in getting there felt out of body. As he rounded the corner, he heard the hushed, devious voices of Krystal and Wolf, hunched over the computer console that each stage had to determine game scenarios, items allowed, et al.

“We want gun weapons. It’ll be nice to have Fox staring down a barrel of…any of these really. Especially the Dragoon, that was a favorite of mine as a spectator,” Krystal snarled, licking her lips so audibly Fox heard it from across the room.

Wolf shrugged at this, “I’ve got my Stamina Battle demand, so you can do whatever you want.”

“It isn’t much of a demand. He won’t have any excuse of taking too much damage and flying away.” **  
** “What about you bird? Any requests?”

“Nope,”

Fox’s head snapped to a back wall of the room. Falco was there, arms crossed, lazily leaned against the all-white structure. It was unlike the blue bird to be this quiet.

Another chill up Fox’s spine. The vulpine gulped quietly, but all three heads snapped to his direction now.

“Ah, the guest of honor has arrived!” shouted Wolf, spreading his arms wide and spinning in mock celebration, “You ready pup?”

“As I’ll ever be,” muttered Fox.

Krystal cackled, “Where’s your usual bravado?”

“How can I have bravado when I have to do this?” snapped Fox.

“You act like you’re the victim of a punishment undeserved,” Krystal spat, “That makes the usual whining one gets when they crack the ego of the great Fox McCloud all the more annoying.”

“I’m not whining about my punishment,” Fox said as the white room began to morph into Hyrule Castle 64, “I’m whining about having to kick all of your butts.”

**Rules: Stamina 200 HP, 1 Stock. Items: Super Scope, Dragoon, Ray Gun, Staff, Steel Diver, Rage Blaster, Banana Gun, Daybreak. High**

**Stage: Hyrule Castle 64**

**Music: Death Mountain**

**3**

Fox backed up against the ascending platforms as Falco and Krystal stood alongside each other on the opposite end of the stage

**2**

Wolf jumped to the bottom platform, ruffling Fox’s head fur mockingly in the process.

**1**

Fox and Krystal bore their fangs at one another.

**GO!**

“I’m gonna sit back and watch. Y’all have your own issues to work out.” Wolf said, lazily reclining on the platform, laying on his side.

“Thanks Wolf ole pal! Krystal, ladies first,”

Krystal nodded warily at the bird, unsheathing her staff, taking her first steps forward of the match…only for Falco’s foot to land squarely on her jaw with a crescent kick. As Krystal collapsed into a heap, Fox and Wolf’s jaws hung open, Fox’s expression quickly changing into a devious smile as he and Falco stepped forward into a bro hug!

“Eheheheh, when you told me this is how you wanted me to react to the whole stalkin’ thing, I wasn’t sure they’d buy it.”

The high pitched yet visceral sound of a Staff blast from full distance rang through the air, colliding with Fox’s back. As Fox cursed out in pain, sinking to his knees, another blast rang out , but Falco saw it coming, shoving Fox aside and reflecting the blast back at Wolf, who had enough sense to roll off the platform.

“You…you slime! You…you allow this behavior!” snarled Wolf, his voice breaking with anger.

Falco shook his head, “Nah, me ‘an Fox will deal with it in private, but boss man figured you might use the opportunity to turn us against each other. You’d use our bickering to trick me into helpin’ you mess Fox up and, no matter how skeevy the guy is, he’s still my best friend.”

“Alright,” seethed Wolf, striking a combat stance, “Come at me then. Take your lumps boy.”

“With pleasure one-eye.” Falco smirked, taking a combat stance of his own.

Falco leapt into the air, and just as he was on the descending arc of his jump, Wolf flew into the air with Wolf Flash, spiking Falco down. As the bird went limp, Wolf bolted after Fox, who had used Falco’s distraction to crawl under the green tower structure on the lower end of the stage. As Wolf jumped in for the pounce, Fox spun from his belly to his back, revealing a Steel Diver obtained in the chaos. Wolf was quick enough to slap the odd gun away, raining down claw swipes, the first few of which McCloud blocked, until they began to slice at the bones in his wrists. Fox cried out in pain, breaking his block, which allowed Wolf to pummel him unprotected.

“What’s the matter with you boy? Where’s the ace pilot I used to know?” taunted Wolf, his eye bloodshot with anger.

Fox heard the familiar sound of a blast of fire from a Cernian staff, as the mix of fuel and air collided with Wolf’s back. Wolf howled in pain, letting out a string of curses as a second one hit him, this time punctuated with a flying kick from Krystal. Wolf slumped off of Fox, to his right. Now it was Krystal who was reigning blows on Wolf. The space pirate was in his own mess of blood now, Krystal was glaring down at Wolf without emotion, “You miserable little prick. You remember our deal, he’s mine,” she stated, her voice flat.

Wolf chuckled, swallowing blood as he did, “If this was normal hatred, you wouldn’t care about how he got iced, just that he did.”

“Enough mind games O’Donnell.”

“But do you know what I think?”

“Shut up,”

“I think you’re just a girl with a crush.” Wolf snarled, spitting blood into the air.

The glob of blood landed right on Krystal’s cheek. Just as she drew back her staff, The Steel Diver rolled over to Krystal’s side. She snapped over to where it had come from, to see Fox staggering his feet, “Use it.”

Krystal nodded, grabbing the gun, and firing all ten of its missile blasted directly into Wolf’s chest. The squadron leader let out one pained howl, his body blinking red as it went limp, before disappearing in a comedically colorful explosion.

**WOLF HAS BEEN ELIMINATED**

Krystal blinked, eyes wide with shock, only to be caught in a flying kick from Fox. Krystal rolled to her back as her ex jumped into the air, blocking his spinning downward kick with the bar of her staff. The blue fox heaved Fox off of her, rolling to her belly as he landed, firing an ice bolt at Fox, freezing him solid. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Falco taking to the air. She whipped around, freezing him with an ice bolt, and melting the ice with a subminimal fire bolt. The avian collapsed to the ground, his lungs hacking up all the water that had just been forced down his gullet.

“Ya know,” wheezed Falco, “You ain’t gonna be able to freeze people for this long in tournament.”

Krystal’s brow furrowed, “You idiot! I’ve spectated two of these tournaments, so obviously I know what freezing people is like. Why must you…what’s the word for it, in your uncivilized tongue? Ah, it’s _mansplain,_ why you mansplain everything?”

Falco crossed his arms, “Not mansplainin’ just sayin’, watch your back.”

Like something out of a horror film, the ice around Fox cracked, then shattering completely as the leader of the Star Fox team erupted from the ice, leaping into the air. A grenade manifested in Krystal’s hand. She clicked the bright blue button in its center, its activation made clear with a royalty free beep. Throwing it into the air, her smirk turned to an open mouthed, surprised glare as Fox kicked it in midair back at her. Bringing up her shield as the armament exploded, she felt Falco encroaching on her. Whipping around to face him, she spun the staff, smacking Falco numerous times, following that up with a kick to the jaw, mirroring the one Falco had nailed her with at the beginning of the bout. Fox was running at her now. Vertically whacking his head with the staff, following that up with an uppercut blow with the front of her staff, two opposite horizontal slices across his chest, and now, the big slicing kick that ended a Cernian priestess’ most basic kata.

_Parry_

The blow bounced off of Fox as he struck a defensive stance. Her concentration breaking for that millisecond was enough to allow Falco to sweep her legs. As the blue vulpine landed hard on her back, Fox drew his blaster, Falco scrambling to his feet to do the same.

“You really thought you could get me with that?” teased Fox, staggering some as he lost even more blood, “That’s baby’s first kata hot stuff. You told me that yourself.”

“There’s one thing I…forgot to tell you. Something that apparently needs explaining,” Krystal huffed..

“And what’s that?” Fox said, smirking.

_Oooh, that smirk is so detestable, I’m going to enjoy this part_ hissed Krystal inwardly as she prepared her next move.

“Don’t ever, ever, underestimate a Cernian!”

Slamming the dull end of her staff into the ground, the ground underneath them all quaked. The two Lylatians staggered, trying to find their footing among the now hostile stone ground.

“Boost!” Krystal shouted.

Taking her with it, the staff propelled itself into the air, the sharp end hitting Fox in the jaw. As Wolf had done earlier, Fox blinked red, exploding into nothingness as his body went limp.

**FOX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED**

Pivoting in the air, Krystal rained hellfire on a still stunned Falco. The weakened avian couldn’t even react as he two went the way of Fox and Wolf after six consecutive fireballs to his blue feathered head.

**KRYSTAL WINS!**

Krystal found herself in the Smash Mansion courtyard the Smash Bros crosshair logo gaudily adorned in cobblestone on a sunny day. Turning her back to the camera drone, she simply sheathed her staff, putting it back in its holder on her back as the splash screen declared Krystal the victor. In a flash, she was teleported back to the auditorium over Hyrule Castle. She stood all alone. Assuming the other three had left as soon as the drones who cataloged the losers’ clapping were out of sight, she sat cross-legged, in meditation sorting through the feelings in her heart.

**Smash Mansion, Lobby**

Fox and the others had split wordlessly, Falco and Wolf heading out to their respective rooms. McCloud on the other hand, found that spending some time outside often helped him clear his mind the best. Just as he was about to part the doors to the courtyard, he heard a familiar voice.

“Figured you’d be headed this way when Mario let me peak at the training logs.”

Fox looked behind him, to see Luigi stood in front of one of the lounge chairs, arms crossed, a smug expression visible even with his trademark ‘stache.

“Ah, I meant to look for you.”

“Mario told me that-a too.”

Fox raised an eyebrow, “What _else_ did Mario tell you?” he asked in a wary tone.

Luigi’s smug manor melted, his eyes wide and apologetic now, “N-nothing personal I assure you. Just that you’d be around to ask me for advice.”

Fox nodded, slowly lifting his paw to rub his chin in thought, “How come…how come you never have to save Daisy?”

Luigi chuckled, “Because with the Tatanga thing, Mario did it as a favor to Peach, and I was in New Donk on vacation, visitin’ old friends. That’s the only time she’s been in real danger though, cause she’s a warrior all on her own. Bowser tried to capture her a few times, but apparently the ass kicking was so bad it was struck from all historical record.”

Fox smiled, incredulous, “You can do that?”

Luigi nodded, “Trust me, I was just as confused when they told me, but if enough royals come to a mutual agreement, lotsa crazy stuff can happen.”

Again, the captain nodded, “And…what would happen if you tried to intervene on her affairs?”

Luigi looked left, then right, over his shoulder in both directions, before stepping closer to Fox, speaking in a hushed whisper, “Listen, it ain’t really none of my business but… I think the whole Mario, Peach, Bowser thing…gets everyone involved off. Everybody likes the roles they have in the relationship. But Daisy, she’s my warrior princess, and if she needed my help, she’d let me know, in words or in gesture. If I did any of dat without her permission…she’d kick my ass and there’d be nothing I could do about it.”

Fox nodded, smiling, “Thank you. That’s all.”

“R-Really?” Luigi stammered, “Oh thank the Seven Stars! Thought you’d actually need me to talk about romance!”

“Nah,” said McCloud, with a shake of his head, “Just needed the unbiased advice of a friend in a stable relationship.”

“Well good, because I’m no good at it.”

“You’re not telling me you aren’t equipped to talk about romance, are you? That’s bull Luigi! You and Daisy are two of the most romantic people I’ve ever met.”

The man in green blushed, “I honestly kinda bumbled into it.”

Fox slapped Luigi on the shoulder playfully, “That’s what all the suave types say. Thanks pal.”

“O-oh. No problem,” Luigi said.

Fox waved behind him, not turning to look at Luigi as he passed through the doors of the mansion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the last update for several months, as the next few chapters are turning out to be greater challenges than anticipated. Just wanted to let you AO3ers know considering y'all have been spoiled rotten with updates! Anyway, happy Halloween!


	37. Physics Week Part 4: Revenge of the Nerds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas, Ness, Cuphead, and the Pokemon Trainers clash with Wario, Porky, and the Koopa Kingdom contingent in the season's first Squad Strike. Who will come out on top?

**Physics Week Day 4: Revenge of the Nerds**

**Physics Week Day 4, The “Mushroom Kingdom U” Auditorium, Smash Mansion, Early Morning**

The boy from Tazmily Village, Lucas, had gained something of a reputation as a scaredy-cat. It wasn’t that he was generally fearful. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth Things most boys his age found frightening, spiders, heights, enclosed spaces, didn’t even increase his heartrate when tasked with them. After all, he’d spent most of his youth playing with dinosaurs the way that most children played with their house pets. He’d taken down empires darn it! The only fear the boy knew was the fear of change. That’s what always did him in. Whether it was seeing Claus die, or Ness being turned into a trophy in the Subspace War, no matter how solvable the problem was, change brought back memories of the deaths of those he loved. When the feeling overcame him, he was brought back to the quivering child he was in those moments.

So, when Bowser stood amongst his children, Wario, Porky, and Piranha Plant, Lucas had to tense every muscle in his body to keep the shakes away. His thinking brain told him things could be worse. He stood alongside Ness, both Pokemon Trainers, and Cuphead. But, it was the change from a four-on-four team battle to a 5-on-5 Squad Strike that activated the primal part of his brain, the part that was leftover from when early humans weren’t at the top of the food chain. But judging from the interaction Bowser was having with Otis and Mikey, the two administrative team members that had demanded the change, Bowser wasn’t exactly composed either.

“WHY IS THIS MY PROBLEM? THIS IS MY KIDS’ FIGHT?” the King’s roar serving as the volume for a childlike whine, steam blowing out of his nostrils like a geyser.

“Well, first of all,” began Otis, “You stopped Subject Zero from intervening when Wario almost committed vehicular homicide.”

“Stitches are wack yo,” Roy Koopa droned, his surfer dialect slurred even more by the early morning blues,

“I think you meant to say ‘Snitches are wack,” jittered Iggy, his body shaking.

“Nuh-uh crackhead,” shrieked Larry, “ He meant ‘snitches get stitches,’ something you aren’t gangsta enough to understand.”

“Oh, like you’re some thug Mister I-sleep-with- a-Teddy Sniffit,” Bowser Junior snapped.

“Shut up Prince, don’t bring Mister Ladykiller into this!” cried Larry

“Heh heh. Snitches sounds like a bad word,” giggled Morton to himself.

“Kids, can’t you see the adults are talking!?” Bowser roared, reverting to a cold, professional demeanor as he made eye contact with Otis, “You were saying, you mutt?”

“I was saying,” growled Otis, shutting up the Koopa contingent, “You assisted with their training and preparation on Day 1. The Administration Team considers the aiding and abetting, so please sleep in the bed you’ve made.”

Bowser growled, “Grr…I guess you’re right.”

“Seven Stars and they say women are emotional,” said Wendy, completely unprompted, not looking up from applying the finishing touches on her makeup, “I’ll be filling the Koopaling spot this time.”

“Heck yeah! Girl power! Show ‘em what feminism is,” cheered the King of the Koopas

Wendy rolled her eyes, “Whatever you say, Daddy.”

“Alright, so the rules,” Mikey yelled, causing all attention to turn to him, “ Each team member works as a stock would in a normal Smash match. Whoever has stocks remaining is the winner. Now, decide amongst yourselves what order you’ll go in.”

Immediately, Lucas’ team got into a circular huddle, “Who do you think they’ll pick first?” wondered Cuphead in a hushed whisper.

A smirk befell Red’s lips, “Wait for it.”

There was a second of silence before Wario bellowed, “WHADDYA MEAN HIRED HELP GOES FIRST. WHY I OUGHTA…”

“And there it is,” explained Red to the hushed chuckles of his team.

“Alright,” said Lucas after the laughter had subsided, “I’ll go first if Wario’s first.”

“Me next, “said Ness, “Something tells me either the plant or Porky will be next, I can handle either of them.”

Lucas nodded, “Who’s next then?”

“I’ll go then. I’ll be able to mix it up best if Wendy or Bowser goes next,” Red announced to the team.

“Hey! Do you not think I can mix it up?” hissed Green, offended.

Lucas shook his head, finger to his lips, “We need you last. None of them have seen Galar Pokemon before, good for closing the gap if we fall behind.”

“Right,” whispered Leaf with an understanding nod

Lucas turned away from the huddle, “Um…Otis? We’re ready!”

Bowser turned away from his team’s huddle, “As are we.”

Otis’ tail began to wag, “Good, Team Bowser, what is your order of entry?”

“Wario, Piranha Plant, Porky, Wendy, and then me,” Bowser said, his chest puffing with pride.

“Okay,” quacked Mikey, “Team Lucas, what is your order of entry?”

Lucas nodded, “Me, Ness, Red, Cuphead, and Green,”

Bowser began to rant about Green’s inclusion, and how no one had seen her Pokemon yet. As both Otis and Mikey began to talk the grouchy Koopa King down, everything was drowned out by the projected voice of Ness, “Royal hierarchy,” Ness said.

Lucas concentrated, projecting his own thoughts to Ness, “What do you mean?”

Lucas always worried that his projected thoughts wouldn’t manifest in a voice, despite having done it many times before. The voice of Ness ringing in his head with the clarity of normal spoken word clarified that the communication on his end was a success.

“They’re going for a descending order for their hierarchy. They called Wario hired help earlier. What comes next then? The royal pet, Piranha Plant, Porky is more of a libertarian king, not by blood, so he’d be a notch lower than the Koopas. See what I mean?”

Lucas’s body tensed. It was difficult to not show the same gestures of understanding, such as nodding, as one would in a verbal conversation. To do so while speaking telepathically would defeat the whole purpose.

“So we shouldn’t expect any kind of competent strategy from these idiots?”

Lucas cast a quick glance at Ness. Even though his eyes were fixated on the still-ranting Bowser, he smirked.

“Should we ever?” Ness’s voice permeated through Lucas’ own thoughts.

“I guess not. I still can’t shake the feeling that something bad will happen.”

Another quick glance to Ness saw the smirk was gone, his face stone serious,

“I didn’t say we shouldn’t be careful,” Ness snapped, his voice slowly becoming more neutral as he spoke, “Just…that we have the tactical advantage.”

‘You’re right.”

The sights and sounds of now faded back into focus just long enough to hear Bowser roar, “And furthermore, you smell funny,” to the administration team members, backed up by the giggles of his children.

Otis sighed, “If you’re done, we can begin.”

The floor beneath them became transparent. Underneath them now, aloft in a cloudy afternoon sky was Mushroom Kingdom U. What the ‘U’ stood for none of them knew. It was one of the many things the Smashers chalked up to The Hands’ clairvoyance. To the naked eye, the stage was an unassuming grassy landscape with mountainous inclines that served as platforms. However, anyone who’d fought on the stage had been screwed over by the computerized visage of Kamek causing the stage to cycle through one of its many transformations.

“Fighter 1, are you ready?” Otis asked.

Both Wario and Lucas nodded, locking eyes from across the auditorium, the cheers of both their teams melding into the background.

“Alright!” Mikey cheered

The screen on the auditorium flared to life, and with that, the boy from Tazmily and the most infamous tycoon of Diamond City disappeared, reappearing on opposite sides of the stage.

**Rules: Squad Strike, Tag Team Items: All, Low**

**Stage: Mushroom Kingdom U**

**Music: Tough Guy Alert!**

**3  
**Lucas felt the power of PK surge through him, light sparking from his fingers as he did so. Telepathic inhibitors aside, Smash was, truthfully, a fun experience for him, a place where he got to cut loose, and he enjoyed the thrill of it all.  
**2**

Wario sneered, Lucas growled. A sadistic smile tugged at Wario’s lips for that.

**1**

Both competitors clenched their fists.

**GO!**

Wario growled, slowly sauntering across the stage, “So what’s it-a gonna be boy?”

“I…I don’t follow,” Lucas stammered

Wario’s grin widened into one that would give the Cheshire Cat a run for its memory. He’d found a crack in Lucas’s armor and exploited it. Lucas stood frozen as Wario made the rest of his way across the stage

“Is it a-gonna be like the tournaments, where you eke out a win and lose? Or is it gonna be like during the War, where you ran away to get help like a loser. Or, will you break down and cry like you did when your mother got eaten by dinosaurs, my personal favorite? Either way boy, you’re a loser. In fact, the only person who’s more of a fuckup is your brother, BECAUSE HE DIED! WAHAHAHA! GETS ME EVERY TIME !”

“SHUT UP!” Lucas cried, leaping into the air.

Channeling his PK power into his foot as he launched forward with a kick. A diamond crest of psychic energy blasted forth, causing the fat biker to wheeze in shock. Through his white-hot anger, Lucas found himself confounded again by the man’s stupidity. They had fought before, many times, and yet Lucas’ power always seemed to knock the CEO unprepared. Channeling another blast, this time into his outstretched pinky, ring, and middle finger, he caught Wario on the way down. Lucas tumbled through the air, letting his power channel through his entire body. The feeling of Wario’s oddly mushy head and bone confirmed to Lucas that he had connected, but he hadn’t expected Wario to answer with an uppercut at the same time. Rocked by the sudden jolt, Lucas tumbled backward, landing on his back. In a nanosecond, the smell of diesel fuel and the sound of a revving engine filled his senses. On instinct, the blond scrambled to his feet but was knocked into by Wario’s hog of a motorcycle anyway. Parlaying the momentum into a forward jump, Lucas once again became a tumbleweed of PK energy. The blast once again connected with Wario, its energy traveling down the bike, which caused it to explode. Fumbling through the air, Wario was a slow and fast pitch in a game of baseball to Lucas as he pulled out his trusty stick, lining up the shot as the fat man fell, and wacking him full force with it. The stick made an oh so satisfying “Thwack” sound as it connected with the double-digit layers of fat that made up his opponent, sending him spiraling across the stage. Wario tucked and rolled into his fall, landing on his feet. Lucas lazily jumped to the center of the arena, whereas Wario ran full tilt, Shoulder blocking a mid-air Lucas at the ankle, Lucas felt himself tumbling to the earth, only to be grabbed at the ankle and whipped around into some stomach punches but Wario. Hoofing him to the ground, Wario leaped into the air, bearing the full weight of his rotund rear end onto Lucas’ chest. As all the wind left Lucas’ body, Wario pivoted to a standing position, leering down at the young boy,

“Ya know, when I agreed to help that-a royal family, it wasn’t out of any love for ‘em. Hate little snots like them, growing up with wealth beyond-a most normal people’s imagination-a just because of who their father is. The reason why-a I agreed-a? Is to beat the crap outta you, like ze old times.”

Wario picked up Lucas by the throat, unhinging his cartoonish maw and shoving Lucas’ neck into it. Chomping down until Lucas went limp, Wario smirked down at him again, “Human-a flesh isn’t something I get to partake in often. Luckily, I get that, and I get to beat you up. Two of my top three desires checked off today, the first of which is money, which’ll come in spades when I win this a tournament.”

“Bring it,”

Wario raised an eyebrow, “What was that boy? I didn’t hear you!”

“I. SAID. BRING IT!” screamed Lucas.

Wario chortled, before snarling, “So, you like it too then? Das-a what I like to hear!”

Again, Wario leaped into the air to drive the air Lucas had preciously cultivated since his last encounter with the billionaire’s bottom. . This time, however, Lucas was ready, “PK FIRE!” Lucas shouted, crossing his wrists.

The fire erupted from Lucas’s fingertips, exploding onto the moon-sized target that was Wario’s ass. The billionaire shrieked, scuttling away, patting away the fire. Lucas concentrated, crossing his arms at the wrist once again!

“PK Thunder,” shouted the blond boy

Electricity and psychic energy crackling around him, he guided a mace shaped lightning bolt through the air so that it connected with him. He wasn’t sure how, but the collision of the PK energy that enveloped him and that from the thunderbolt allowed him to shoot forward like a missile. At least, that’s how Ness had taught him. Nonetheless, it was his favorite move to do, and slamming into blowhards like Wario, who had gotten distracted bemoaning the burns on his butt, made it all the sweeter. Like a rocket himself, Wario collided with the blast zone.

**WARIO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED: NEXT OPPONENT, PIRANHA PLANT!**

It seemed like an eternity, but the plant finally appeared, growling like a dog as the clay pot it lived in clanked on the ground. Lucas and the plant circled each other.

“How does it see?” Lucas wondered aloud.

Piranha Plant clamped at the air as if offended by its comment.  
The PSI using boy bolted at the plant, jumping into the air. He heard the whistling of someone blowing air and felt something sharp slice at his legs. Lucas spiraled to the ground much like Wario had done earlier. He looked up just in time to see the potted plant was now on its side, extended as far as it could go. Lucas yelped, rearing back just as the carnivore snapped its jaws shut. Lucas scrambled to close the distance. Lucas shot a PK Fire which the plant artfully spun to avoid. Lucas was momentarily struck dumb by the plant’s expression.

“Are you…hocking a loogie?” Lucas timidly asked

The Plant smiled at him, his fanged teeth sparkling white.

Again, plant and boy circled each other. Lucas moved to once again, close the distance. The plant spat at Lucas, a noxious purple cloud of poison enveloping the young boy. Lucas cried out as the poison seared his skin, his every inch engulfed by a violent itching and stinging. Through the noxious explosion, Lucas heard Kamek’s signature cackle. He felt the mist of Magikoopa sorcery and the floor evaporating under him. Lucas heard the predator shriek of Piranha Plant, the poison’s itch stopped, but the gunk was still in Lucas’ eyes. Even without sight, Lucas recognized the feeling of an animal’s maw around his neck. Lucas flipped his body so the plant was facing down. He flicked the thing with a PK blast. Piranha Plant cried out in pain. Lucas concentrated, hearing the fluttering of wings going closer and closer. Channeling a PK blast into his feet, he heard the plant whimper in pain as he flew to the blast zone. Lucas tossed out a Rope Snake blind. He felt it snag and let the snake snap him to the ledge.

**PIRANHA PLANT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED: NEXT OPPONENT, PORKY MINCH!**

Lucas wiped the poison from his eyes and scrambling up to the metallic floor of Slide Lift Tower. Immediately Porky’s Bed Mecha appeared,

“Hey stupid! It’s Porky Time!” screamed the voice of Porky the enormous mech bolting at Lucas. Lucas jumped into the air, but at the arch of the jump over the spider-bed, a red orb enveloped Lucas.

As Lucas cried out in pain, Porky cackled, “Look at that. Little crybaby fought a plant and can’t fight anymore! MWAHAHAHA!”

The mech lurched up, sending Lucas to the blast zone.

**LUCAS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED: NEXT OPPONENT, NESS!**

Porky’s mech continued to hover in the air, a spotlight cast down at the ground, “Ahaahaha. I get to kick both their asses. This peacekeeping crap is worth it after all.”

Ness appeared just as a red orb appeared where the spotlight had just been, casting electrical energy down, Ness dodged the blow, and a second one, before the mech came crashing down. Porky jumped attempting to squash Ness, but Ness, once again, rolled out of the way. From nowhere, energy warped into spikes, all of which slashed at Ness, standing as a form of defense from the robot’s side.

“RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH SHRIMP!” howled Porky.

Eventually, the defenses broke, and Ness was sent crashing down.

“MECHAAAAA PORKYS!” shouted Minch.

From nowhere, the black, robotic images of the rotund child appeared. Ness took note of the way the things moved, ambling with no common direction. He lined up the shot with his trusty baseball bat, smacking the robot as it lunged at him. Through the air, the robot flew. The robot exploded on impact, and Porky let out a string of curses in response. Ness fired off six rapid succession PK Fires, complimenting the affair with low kicks to the spider legs. Leaping backward, Ness shouted “PK FLASH!” sending the green amalgamation of energy to explode at just the right moment to send Porky flying. Porky attempted to fly back, but a second, PK Flash sent the obnoxious child to the blast zone.

**PORKY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED: NEXT OPPONENT, WENDY!**

As Kamek cackled, and the world transformed into Rock-Candy Mines. Wendy appeared onto the battlefield, her bootleg Clown Car already in kart mode. Before Ness could even register it, the kart’s wheels were pressed into Ness’ head, ramping off behind him. Ness gritted his teeth in pain. As if a gift from the gods above, a Bob-omb landed right in front of him. Ness spun around, putting his body into the throw, as his father had taught him during many, many games of baseball. What Ness didn’t notice, however, was the cannonball about to connect with his hands. At least, not until too late. Ness felt the flash of fire and gunpowder pulp splash onto him. Even with his equilibrium doing loop-de-loops as it was, he heard the **“DUN”** sound associated with grabbing one of the three pieces of the Dragoon, and the 150cc motor of Wendy’s clown car speeding towards him.

The boy from Onett took a deep breath. Long ago, Poo had put him through the same training he had once gone through. Deprived of all his senses, his only way to see the world being through his special power. His senses in the physical world faded out, like a TV show fading to black. He could see the air moving in real-time, the inner workings of Wendy’s Clown Car. Ness smirked,

“PK FLASH!”

Slowly, the timebomb of energy drifted to its destination, exploding on contact. Ness focused harder. Wendy’s sounds, her heartbeat, the zaps of the synapses firing in her brain, had gone up and away, not towards the blast zone…

Ness’ eyes shot open to see Wendy about to bring the hurt, a Hammer Bro claw hammer raised above her head. Clasping the striking end above him, blunt instrument inches from his head, Ness smirked. Wendy mirrored his smirk, however, when her clown car appeared in a cartoonish puff of smoke. Before Ness could react, he felt hot embers sting his eyes. Crying out in shocked pain. Ness reared back, batting at his eyes, trying to brush the embers away.

“Heh,” boasted Wendy, “Did you not expect me to use my fire breath idiot?”

Before Ness could even think to find his zen again he heard…the sound of windup toy?”

“SHI-”

The Mechakoopa screeched to a halt, whirring like a blender at maximum speed before it exploded. Ness couldn’t even react as he was launched into the air. He heard Wendy whoop, then a second later by four hammer blows to his upper body. He shouldn’t have expected anything less from the Koopa Princess, but the girl was strong. Ribs, stomach, lungs, all punctured in just a few swift blows. Ness hit the ground. The embers in his eyes finally subsiding, he saw the Koopa Clown Car produce a pincer from its innards, grabbing Ness by the ankle and tossing him off stage.

So much pain, can’t think. Can’t even find a rebuttal to this tumble to the blast zone. Gone.

**NESS IS ELIMINATED, NEXT OPPONENT, RED!**

Immediately, Red appeared on a floating metal platform away from the stage, the lights along the sides, presumably the power source, blinking an eerie turquoise.

“Great,” huffed Wendy with a time tested dramatic eye-roll, “First the mind-reading kid with his zen mute crap, and now you, the notoriously quiet one.”

Red smirked. Kamek appeared, cackling as he began to change the stage back to Acorn Plains.

“What are you waiting for? Do it!” shrieked Wendy with all the bratty hatred of a teenager who got the wrong colored sports car.

Wendy yelped at the loss of a stage. Red’s smirk became a Cheshire Cat grim, “Charizard, flare blitz!” he shouted, throwing the Pokeball.

Immediately after the ball opening, and the blast of color that followed next, Charizard came out, a roaring missile of hellfire colliding right with Wendy. When the Koopa royal shook the cobwebs, she saw that Red had knocked her just far enough away to where, even if the stage had appeared, the ledges were all too far away. Red tuned out the brat’s curses and cries as she fell to the blast zone, only focused on his Charizard’s safe flop onto the stage, which the large winged creature completed successfully.

**WENDY IS ELIMINATED, NEXT OPPONENT: BOWSER!**

“DRAGON!” roared Bowser as he appeared on the battlefield, “You’ve been stealing my gimmick for years now, and you’ve always been duckin’ me.”

“We’ve just never been on the same side of a brack-“ Red muttered, looking down at his shoes.

“SHUT UP ASH KETCHUP! NOBODY’S TALKIN TO YOU!” Bowser’s voice boomed as he pointed an accusing claw at the Pokemon Trainer.

“And nobody points a finger at my human, not even you,” hissed Charizard.

“Oh, like you aren’t a snot-nosed brat to him all the time!” The King of Koopas pouted.

Charizard smirked, “As any good son is to his father,”

“Yeah, I suppose so,”

“Well, how you feel if I insulted your son?”

“Well, the first thing I’d do is kick your ass.”

“Do you see where I’m coming from now?”

“Grrrr, shut up! This isn’t a mediation! Let’s fight!”

“Gladly,”

Bolting towards each other, the Irresistible Force met the Immovable Object claws locking in a test of strength.

“Charizard, break! That shell means he’s hard to push around!” shouted Red

“NO!” he bellowed, “I can win!”

Bowser grinned wide through gritting teeth as their muscles creaked trying to gain an advantage, “For once, your master is right! Been Koopa Sumo champion ever since I turned 18!”

“And it wasn’t because…” grunted Charizard, his muscles straining once again, “…People were afraid of the temper tantrum that would happen if they didn’t…hold back.”

A deep, throaty growl emitted from Bowser, his nostrils huffing steam, “You’ve insulted me for the last time!”

Shifting his weight to the right, he managed to throw the smaller Charizard to the ground. Charizard scrambled to all fours, only to got a brutal dropkick right to his maw. As Charizard splayed out, Bowser leaped into the air, intent on bringing his entire body weight down on him.

“CHARIZARD! FLY INTO SEISMIC TOSS, LIKE WE PRACTICED!”

Just before Bowser hit the ground, Charizard erupted upward from a laying down position into the air. Once he righted himself, he spun into the air, the momentum of which smacked Bowser right in the jaw. With the Koopa King stunned, Charizard clasped his opponent’s throat, flying even higher, and plummeting down headfirst. Now it was Bowser’s turn to splay out on Mushroom Kingdom U, completely limp.

“ANOTHER ONE!”

Charizard once again grabbed Bowser by the throat, this time raising him to his feet with one hand, and going up again for the Seismic Toss, flying up into the air. On the descent, Bowser’s previously closed eyes shot open. Charizard gasped, clenching to react, but Bowser had already shifted the momentum in mid-air, Charizard’s back taking the brunt of the impact. Bowser immediately leaped into the air, bringing his weight down as he intended before. Charizard, once again, went limp. The Koopa King turned to Red, a wicked smile on his bruised and broken face, “Ahhh, the ole Flying Slam into the Bowser Bomb. Those karate losers can take their forward punch into a fireball and stuff it, brute force are the only combos you need baby.”

Red said nothing, staring ahead with a completely neutral look on his face.

“What, do I gotta insult you too before you get the sense to change out to the baby turtle or the pink flower pansy!”

“Go ahead, just gives us time to recover,” Red muttered, a grin now forming

Bowser’s eyes went wide, “Time to r-?”

Bowser turned to see Charizard poised to go. A quick “shing” sound could be heard as Charizard erupted into a Flare Blitz. Bowser flew to the blast zone but retreated into his shell, the mysterious mechanics of the Whirling Fortress carrying him to safe ground. Bowser saw Charizard flying for him again, but also a drop of water appear drip down from the top of the arena. Had Charizard or Red seen it too? Charizard clasped him by the throat again, taking him up to the top of the blast zone one more time. Bowser’s eyes twinkled with glee.

“Hey dragon dunce?” Bowser gagged.

“What?” roared Charizard.

“It was _ice_ seeing you,” he hissed.

Bowser reared back, headbutting The Flame Pokemon as hard as he could. Charizard broke his grip, and Bowser was able to drift away just as a giant icicle plummeted down, hitting Charizard square on the head, knocking him to the top of the blast zone.

“Shit, I forgot ab-“ bemoaned Red as he and his platform disappeared.

Bowser, meanwhile, a devilish grin on his face, plummeted to the stage below.

**RED HAS BEEN ELIMINATED: NEXT OPPONENT, CUPHEAD!**

From seemingly nowhere, a distinguished yet excited voice rang out “THIS IS GONNA BE A REAL HIGHCLASS BOUT!”

Bowser, panting heavily, raised an eyebrow as he got to his feet, “What the shell?” grunted The Koopa King, “Who said that?”

“AND BEGIN!” rang that same voice.

Cuphead appeared, firing bullets of light from his finger, and immediately began to charge Bowser. Luckily, the monstrous royal was quick on the draw, retreating into his shell and spinning towards the Inkwell Isle’s favorite son. Cuphead saw this coming, however, and leaped to avoid it. Bowser’s shell lept into the air, as his head, arms and legs came out of the shell, “Huh,” he remarked with a smirk, “You’re quick for a shrimp. Let’s see how you like being thrown around!”

Cuphead smirked back, “Try me, old man!”

Bowser’s face twisted in anger. What began as a low, rumbling growl became a full-on roar as he charged. Cuphead reciprocated, letting his feet slide out from under him a beat before Bowser was in claws reach, the momentum carrying him under Bowser’s legs. The shelled beast froze, his brain putting the pieces together. Then he felt the kid’s bullets in his shell, something similar to being pelted with firecrackers, complete with a cartoonish pop as each one connected. Bowser felt a combination of white-hot anger and embarrassed resignation a feeling he hadn’t felt since Bowser Junior dunked a bucket of water on him when he opened a door via a pulley system. While these kinds of things were the direct result of his parentage in his own house, this kid was just being an asshole, and for that, he’d pay the price.

Bowser whipped around, fangs bared only to see Cuphead firing three boomerang-shaped bursts of energy into existence. Without him even turning around, each of the four bullets whizzed towards Bowser. Jerking his head to the left to avoid the first, and twisting his massive frame to avoid the second and third, the fourth sliced his cheek. The king reared back. He hadn’t encountered a fired projectile that sliced him with the cutting power of one of the Smash’s many masters of the sword before. Cuphead jumped up, spinning his body in a tumbling motion. Some crackled against his scaly skin, propelling him upward. Bowser felt his body freeze. He had sparred against Samus before and had taken her Screw Attack, and, while there was more pain involved in that, that didn’t propel the user up and away like this had, a position all veteran Smashers new was a dangerous, vulnerable place. Bowser heard the pop sound and heard felt himself go up higher. Another, yet higher, another, and another. Bowser roared. Here he was, The King of All Koopas being dribbled like a basketball! He attempted to reach out, grabbing the kid, but as he gripped him, he heard the same pop. Samus could be grabbed out of the Screw Attack eventually, but this was on another level entirely.

Hit again, and again, and again. Kamek had come, changed the stage to something or other, but Cuphead took so much command of the Smash arena, of him, it didn’t even matter.

Bowser’s vision blurred, his jaw feeling similar in consistency to mashed potatoes, the rest of his body too locked up from the jolts of an electric shock to do anything. The only thing Bowser could do was shake his vision right and watch as Cuphead pointed a stubby, gloved finger in his face, a charged blast not dissimilar to Samus’ on the end.

“Roundabout!” happily cried Cuphead.

Pulling the finger back like it was a fired gun, the beam of energy erupted. Twice the size of Ryu’s Hadoken blast, it pushed against his entire frame like a slow-moving truck on Toad’s Turnpike. Bowser attempted to push against it, but breaking through it’s already frighteningly warm outer layer meant busting the thing open and being annihilated by the intensity of a sun. Defeat his only option, Bowser let out one final cry as he was pushed towards the blast zone.

“I’LL REMEMBER THIS!”

**GAME!  
TEAM LUCAS WINS!**

Cuphead appeared back at the Mushroom Kingdom U Auditorium to Otis the dog saying, “An’ there won’t be no victory screen for Squad Strikes, too many people to account for.”

“Oh thank the stars,” whined Wario, “I-a hate that crap,”

“You seem to have a ball screaming obscenities at people during your loser’s window time,” muttered Wendy, who’s gaze was firmly affixed to the floor.

“What was that you puffed up piece of…” snarled Wario

“Hey!” squawked Mikey, “One more word out of your smelly ass and you’ll be doing Cruel Brawl until tournament’s end. Am I clear?”

Wario opened his mouth to protest but was interrupted by Bowser’s communicator pinging. He quickly scanned the message, his eyes widening. Bowser held up a hand, palm outstretched to signal that the biker stop, causing shocked expressions from the male Koopalings, “Wario, you don’t understand, they have eyes everywhere, the weird skeleton guy just messaged me about my ice pun earlier.”

As much as a dog could, Otis grinned triumphantly, “Now do you get it?”

“Yeah,” whined Wario,

“Are you gonna behave Wario?”

“Yes sir…” he grumbled, now mirroring Wendy’s forlorn gaze.

“Alright, dismissed,” said the Duck Hunt Duo in harmony.

Team Bowser skulked out of the room with the Koopalings bickering amongst each other, with the exception of Wendy who was laying into Wario and Porky laying into Wendy in turn. Bowser flipped Team Lucas a middle claw without turning around to look at him, while a whining Piranha Plant following concernedly at Bowser’s feet.

“Wow! That was a really great match you guys, and I couldn’t have done it without you, so thank you!” said Lucas.

“No problem bud! It felt really good to put my Parry ability to use!” Cuphead said, casting his friend a big thumbs up.

“Yo that was incredible!” balked Ness, who hadn’t broken eye contact with Cuphead since he appeared, “You could take this whole tournament with moves like that if you play your cards right!”

“You think so?” asked a now wide-eyed Cuphead 

“Yeah. Let’s run a few more sessions tomorrow so you can nail down some strategies!”

“Can I join too?” offered Lucas.

“You’re always welcome to train with us Lucas,” Ness nodded.

“Why wait until tomorrow? I feel like I could run King Dice’s whole gauntlet right now!” whooped Cuphead.

“I…um…don’t know what that means,” muttered Lucas, “But, I’m alright with another session if you guys are!”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be nuts if we test it out on a big stage!” agreed Ness.

“Last one to New Pork City is a rotten egg!” Lucas declared.

With that, psychic boys and sentient cups alike bolted to the teleporter. Green, who had been watching the entire exchange, glanced over Red, who hadn’t so much as moved from his seat since he was eliminated, “You alright there?” she asked her slumped friend concernedly.

“Yeah, just thinking,”

“About what?”

Red paused, finally making eye contact with her, “I’m beginning to realize that the reason why we’re losing matches is because the flow of a Pokemon battle is so different than Smash.”

“I’m listening,”

“When we swap Pokemon, whether they get knocked out or we’re just switching, there’s a ceremony, you return the Pokemon, you have some little quip, you throw the ball out. Watching that little Cuphead guy made clear to me why we’ve been losing.”

Green eyes widened, “His flow,”

“Right,” Red nodded, the slightest bit of an excited lilt in his voice, “We do fine with our individual Pokemon, but we need to chain things together with all three.”

“I completely agree. Wanna hit up one of the Stadium stages and run a few drills.”

Red simply nodded, and the two jogged briskly towards the teleporter for yet another session of training


	38. Physics Week Part 5: Sephiroth vs. All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All plans are put on hold when Mario sets up everyone to try to tackle their biggest challenge of all, Sephiroth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna address the elephant in the room (Address the elephant Cloud!) that I CALLED IT! SEPHIROTH IS IN SMASH! This was written (and re-written,) in response to the "Sephiroth challenge", so sorry for the delay!

Physics Week 5

Sephiroth vs All

**Snake and Isabelle’s room**

“NOOO, MY SEMINAR!”

Snake shot up in bed to start his morning. This wasn’t the first time since Isabelle became his roommate either. Whether it was the night he’d caught her laughing entirely too hard at Sonic’s joke on a late-night communicator call, or the night he’d heard her curse a Japanese law book within her quest to help Goro Akechi, doing it with such hatred it was probably enough to invoke a demon, being awoken by the perpetually busy secretary wasn’t uncommon for the light-sleeping Soldier of Fortune. But this was the first time he had heard heartbreak in the dog’s bubbly voice.

“Huh, what’s wrong?” asked the groggy military man.

He didn’t get a response from the main suite of the room, where Isabelle was fretting to herself. The lack of a response caused Snake to instinctually grab his communicator. Hopefully, the Smash Bros’ information network yielded some answers. First, he saw the cancelations from The Belmonts, both with variations of “having to prepare to face the unholy demon,” in lew of the planned seminar. Jak and Daxter’s cancelation was two paragraphs long, the first bemoaning having to sit through a “borin’ as all get out seminar after the new trainin’ sesh”. The second was a much more formal cancelation, likely from Jak. Chun-Li and Master Chief’s cancelations were almost identical in nature, formal and regretful as if written from a press statement.

_Unsurprising, from two enforcers of the law,_ mused Snake.

Snake’s bemusement ended when he saw Ridley’s e-mail. His was a crass, misspelling-rich, albeit short diatribe about how he would be “too tired after taking the One-Winged Angel Down a peg.”

“Oh no,” Snake gasped aloud.

The e-mail under Ridley’s was from ROB, the subject reading, “All-hands training session,”

Snake tapped the e-mail open with an uncharacteristically shaky finger. Cloud and Snake had made it a habit of getting together for a morning coffee ever since their meeting at the beginning of last week. The ultra-serious, yet reverent tone Cloud spoke of his enemy with, especially when he described bearing witness to the solar system being destroyed, was bone-chilling, even for a man as combat-experienced as Solid Snake. So now, he read the e-mail, his dread being confirmed.

“After breakfast today, we will host an all-hands training session, under the new All-Star Mode ruleset, the ‘one’ participant being Sephiroth versus all of us, per Sephiroth’s request. Please be available after breakfast”

Snake bolted out of bed, changing into gear with such speed and vigor that he was briefly reminded of the incidents in which drill sergeants had awoken him at an ungodly hour in boot camp. With his personal favorite sneaking suit, the black Octo Camo, on, he made his way to the main suite, where the normally well postured Isabelle was sprawled out in one of the easy chairs, her cheeks puffy from crying, her eyes vacant, her mind too preoccupied to even look at him as he entered.

“All that planning we did,” muttered Isabelle once she noticed he was there.

“I know,”

“I _slaved_ over the Nookpoint.”

“It was a good PowerPoint….uh…Nookpoint, ” Snake agreed.

“ _You_ slaved over your part too.”

“Trust me, Isabelle, being in the military means you spend your days preparing for eventualities that will never come to pass.”

Silence hung in the air, mostly from Snake struck by the momentary disbelief that he’d complimented someone’s PowerPoint, before one-third of Les Infantiles Terribles found his words, “But crying about it will only distract you from our next mission.”

“I know. The only thing I can do is make that pretty boy pay.”

Snake banished a donkey’s laugh back to the bowls of his throat, allowing himself to crack a grin.

“That’s the spirit,” the soldier encouraged his secretarial mentee.

Finally, Isabelle turned to look at him, “Mister Snake?”

“Yes Isabelle?” he said, long since passed trying to quell the ‘Mister Snake’ nonsense.

“Do…do you think the other Smashers will look down on me if I start the morning off with some Vacation Juice?”

Snake shrugged, “I’ve had vodka for breakfast a few times. Sometimes it’s the only thing that hits.”

Isabelle smirked, her eyes full of devilish determination now, “I assume some of that was from when you roomed with Sonic,”

“That’s classified information Miss Isabelle,” Snake snapped, his posture suddenly rigid

Isabelle giggled, “Look at you, being a little diplomat. Perhaps I’m rubbing off on you after all.”

Snake let a chuckle escape him, “I should hope not. So, Vacation Juice, and then we head out?”

“Yep,” she said, barely getting the words out.

**Outside the sub-basement entrance: after breakfast**

“You will report to the Northern Crater auditorium when your name is called. You will sit to the right of the Smasher called before you upon entering the auditorium.”

Sly Cooper had bid Bentley and Murray goodbye relatively recently in the grand scheme of things. Even still, it felt like a lifetime ago. The goodbye also felt strangely final. Maybe it wasn’t so strange given the challenge the ninety-nine faced in this one versus all affair. The master thief added his memories of breakfast to his growing pile of musings. He had seen prisoners on death row eat a meal with less dread. And the droning, repeated instructions of ROB didn’t necessarily dissuade the “lead to the gallows” feeling 

_Whelp, if I’m gonna get my ass handed to me, why not hang out in the company of friends_

The group, which contained himself, Jak, Daxter, Ratchet, and Clank, Dante, and Vergil, having contained Jin and Yoshimitsu until their names were called, all stood in stony silence. Yoshimitsu had been as dramatic as ever, but with that gone, the microscopic bit of levity this whole day had had was gone too. Even the resident goofs, Dante and Sans, who could normally be heard cracking jokes from across any room, were silent today. The only one of the six not content to contemplate the inevitable was Daxter. He stood atop Jak’s shoulders, jogging in place like a child who needed to go to the bathroom.

“I’m tellin’ ya, not knowin’ what this order was about is gonna kill me.”

“Not using the time to come up with a battle plan will kill ya faster,” shrugged Sly.

“Precursors above I hate when you’re right.”

Sly’s eyes, which habitually darted towards the slightest hint of movement, caught Jak’s eyebrows sharply raising. Perhaps the green-haired rebel had expected a joke out of his companion?

_Dunno why. Daxter’s a goof, but he isn’t a fool,_ observed the raccoon to himself.

His ears twitched as he heard the sound of a rubber boot grinding into the linoleum floor. Sly’s looked to the source of the noise. Toon Link stood a few paces away from the PlayStation All-Stars’ makeshift semi-circle looking down at the floor, a forlorn looked etched onto his face.

“Hey, Toon?” Sly asked

The boy looked up meekly, “Yes Mister Cooper?”

Bashfully, Sly rubbed the back of his head, “Mister Cooper was my father’s name, call me Sly. But uh… we were wonderin’, what the heck is with this order we’re getting called in?”

“Oh! Our theological order?” Toon Link chirped, his eyes brightening as if he had the answer to a particularly difficult question in school.

“Theological?” balked Daxter, “Like, somethin’ to do with gods?”

“Why, yes Daxter, that is typically the definition of the word…” Clank began to explain

Simultaneously as they had many times before at the All-Stars Hotel, Jak and Ratchet jumped in simultaneously with a quick, yet stern, “Let him talk Clank,”

The robot froze mid-word, looking downcast at the floor as Toon Link continued, “Yes. Apparently, there’s an order in which we belong that only ever made sense to the Hands and whatever gods they answer to. I heard Miss Palutena explain it last tournament, something about a ‘release’” he said, using air quotes around the last word.

“What the hell does that mean?” Dante asked no one in particular.

“Perhaps whenever these gods became aware of us?” offered Clank.

“That makes as most sense as anything, but the word ‘release’ doesn’t work contextually,” Vergil pondered, his forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“Sly Cooper and Krystal, you’re next,” the disembodied voice of ROB announced.

Sly began a light jog to the enormous stairwell, getting to the threshold at the same time as his new blue vulpine companion. Bowing dramatically, and extending his free arm forward the thief beckoned, “After you,”

Krystal huffed, blowing past him as she began her trek down the stairs,

“Hey look,” called Sly after her, “I’m sorry, you just remind me of my girl back home and...”

“I don’t care,” the voice of Krystal echoed from somewhere within the flights of stairs.

_Huh, charming,_ thought the heir to the Cooper legacy with a sarcastic eye roll.

Sly peered down the steps.

_Hmm,_ he thought, _What if I...?_

Vaulting over the railing Sly felt the wind whistle around him, trying not to be bewildered by the rooms flashing by him. Luckily, after dropping several floors, he saw Krystal’s visage, which stood out like a sore thumb in the sterile stairwell. Holding out the hook end of his cane, it snagged the railing of the stairwell. Krystal gasped in shock at the sudden clang. Sly flipped upward, pirouetting in the air, landing in front of her, “Let’s try this again,” he said, “After you,” bowing and gesturing much as he had earlier.

Krystal stared at him, wide-eyed for the briefest of seconds, before snapping back to her usual scowl, “Lunatic,” was all she uttered as she brushed past him, into the training hall, going deep into it until he found the door labeled “Northern Crater,” Entering the all-white room, and going up the elevator once it had deposited Krystal, he found himself in the auditorium. Instead of the usual tiered, lecture hell seating Sly had witnessed while training with his All-Stars Battle Royale friends earlier in the week, the room had been organized into one long bench. Sly winced at the image.

“The only difference between this and booking bench in a police station is the absence of that coffee and donut smell,” mused Sly to no one in particular.

His attempt at a joke was met with silence. Pulling at the back of his shirt collar uncomfortably, Sly proceeded down the bench. Game and Watch was at the start, muttering something about “Whooping that polygonal little boy,” Pacman sat next to him, vibrantly humming some sort of prog-rock tune. Wario and Dedede looked plain embarrassed as Meta-Knight bore a hole into them. Porky was in a similar situation with seatmate Ness, the only difference being Ritcher trying to keep in boyish sniggers, his hand over his mouth. Cloud wrestled with what appeared to be a sentient pink blob of goo as it slithered through his spiking hair, happily cooing the entire way Cortana floated next to Master Chief, verbally blazing through what sounded like statistics faster than the quick-witted Sly could comprehend. Beyond that, everyone else sat in silence. The silence that had struck him the most, however, was Bowser Junior and the Koopalings as he found his open seat between Larry, the lowest on the Koopaling pecking order, and Krystal. Normally loud, verbose, and moving in a way that Ken had once called “Gracie Train-ing” everywhere, it was odd to see them so reserved and quiet. Sly took his seat. His gaze snapped to Krystal, who was unusually relaxed, her posture in a leisurely recline, her hands rested firmly on the back of her head.

“So…uh…what do ya think the big deal is? Why does this schmuck get a special training session against everyone?”

“Well, I can’t imagine Sephiroth is someone you say no to and walk away,” Krystal state flatly without turning to look at him

“True, but is it worth it if it puts everyone in this kinda mood,” replied the thief, gesturing vaguely to the increasingly grimmer room.

Krystal chuckled haughtily, “You don’t think Sephiroth feeds off this kind of misery? He killed everyone in the guy with the big sword’s hometown,”

Sly’s eyes went wide, “He _what?_ “

Krystal smirked, “You heard me, or as you as daft as McCloud?”

“Hey, I’m the one who has to sit through your dribble lady. Next, you’re going to tell me he blew up a planet or some-“

“Solar system,” Krystal corrected him.

An unexpected exhaled stream of air escaped Sly’s lungs, manifesting in what sounded like a moan from the world’s oldest man. He scanned Krystal’s facial features. Nothing on her deadpan facial expression indicated to her she was lying. As the realization set in, the background noise drifted away, the increasing number of Smashers whose theological date came after his own passed Sly with no notice. The only thing that managed to break him out of his stupor was the voice of ROB.

“As everyone has assembled, let me be the first to welcome you to All-Star Mode. In this training exercise, Smashers will appear on stage after one is eliminated in the order in which you are seated upon the bench. In years past, we have sent Smashers into the arena in groups of eight. However, per Sephiroth’s request, the numbers per group will be randomized. Some of you may be working in groups of four, and et cetera. You will be healed after you are eliminated, and, in the extremely unlikely event Sephiroth is able to work his way through the entire roster, the order will loop again. Please be ready to...”

“HAH! Like you’ll need anyone more than me! I’ll whip that polygonal pretty boy six ways from Sunday,” Game and Watch crowed so loudly that Sly could hear him from half a 100-person bench away.

“Alright,” Mario said dryly, “Game and Watch goes in with no backup, we see what happens.”

“Young man, it’ll be SMASH EDUCATION.”

“If you say so. ROB, give Sephiroth his cue,”

“Affirmative,” barked the robot.

**All-Star Smash**

**Stage: Northern Crater (Battlefield ver.)**

**Music: One-Winged Angel (Advent Children ver.**

GO!

Game and Watch disappeared from the auditorium, lazily drifting down onto the right-most platform. Sephiroth stood in the middle of the arena, completely unphased.

“YOUNG MAN! YOU AND YOUR POLYGONS! IN MY DAY, WE DIDN’T HAVE FANCY GEOGRAPHICAL, CINEMATIC ATTACKS! IN MY DAY, EACH FRAME OF ANIMATION WAS SEPARATE! IT’S NONSENSE LIKE YOUR SUPERNOVAS AND QTE’S, WHATEVER THOSE ARE, THAT’S MADE THE YOUTH OF TODAY SOFT, DUMB, and LAZY!”

“Heartless Angel,” Sephiroth dryly huffed, not even making eye contact with the two-dimensional man.

**Mr.Game and Watch: %999**

In a flash, Mister Game and Watch went from the minimum amount of damage to the maximum The cranky frame of animation was struck silent, drawing in a feeble, shocked gasp for breath, sinking to his knees, yowling in pain as he clutched what approximated as his chest.

The audience in the auditorium gasped, the only sounds in the room being the laughter of the sadistic villains among them, and the droning of ROB, who was repeating the phrase, “Searching,” over and over again.

“He didn’t even hit ‘em. He just said the magic words,” balked Bowser, who struggled to find his breath.

Meanwhile, on the Northern Crater, Sephiroth picked up the two-dimensional old man by the throat. With the ease of a hookshot in basketball, Sephiroth tossed his defenseless opponent into the air for the KO.

“Mario,” hissed Sephiroth, “You insist on testing my mettle as if I’m some novice. If such foolishness continues, I will break your order one by one. However, if you choose to not insult my intelligence and time, I will play fair with you.”

“Alright. Next seven, prepare!” Mario ordered.

With that, he, Luigi, Donkey Kong, Pacman, Little Mac, The Duck Hunt Duo, and the Ice Climbers all disappeared from the auditorium seats, headed to the Northern Crater to face down the One-Winged Angel.

Sephiroth casually skulked under the rightmost platform, swinging his sword an impossibly long arch above him. Pacman, who had attempted to change into his circular, featureless form in order to dive-bomb his opponent, was eliminated as quickly as appeared. A quick flurry of punches from Little Mac and the half Mario Tornado move Mario typically did in the air gave Sephiroth some damage, but the man left into the air, bringing his sword down as he crashed down. The contingent leaped away to avoid

 _Hmm,_ thought the One-Winged Angel to himself as he swung his sword horizontally, cleaving Donkey Kong and Mario in the process _They know of the Hell’s Gate. Even in my absence, Cloud has taught them well._

Sephiroth found that he was idly swinging his sword with no thought, and while it was doing damage (The Duck Hunt Duo and the Ice Climbers had already been eliminated, replaced by the next three opponents, ROB, Piranha Plant, and Peach), he needed to concentrate. Mac leaped into, his fist looking to connect on a horizontal leap.

“Scintilla,” called Sephiroth with no emotion in his voice.

Green hexagons appeared before in front of him, forming a wall and blocking the big punch. The wall, now transforming into sharp, needle-like slices of energy, swathed Little Mac. With a yelp, the young Brooklynite collapsed to the floor., Sephiroth thrust Masamune for a downward diagonal blow, hitting Mac and sending him off stage. ROB, who was still incessantly barking about searching, was an easy target for another aggressive horizontal sword thrust, similar to the one that had eliminated the last trio, to be eliminated. With the boxer gone, Bowser joined the fray, The King of the Koopas put his massive arms around Mario and Peach’s shoulders, while Piranha Plant obediently joined the huddle. Bill Rizer appeared next. Pressing a button on a detonator, a white capsule flew onto the stage, Rizer shooting it down with his normal pea shooter. A winged circular logo with the letter ‘L’ appeared from the destroyed capsule. Rizer muttered something intelligible, likely a curse, if what Sephiroth had observed during the man’s many smoke breaks outside the Smash Mansion was true and picked up the weapon. Meanwhile, the Mushroom Kingdom Contingent were all rushing him. That simply would not do. Sephiroth opened his hand. The burning embers of the Flare spell materialized in his hand, which grew to the steel melting heat of Megaflare, before manifesting into his best fire spell, Gigaflare. Sephiroth waved the ticking timebomb away as the seemingly innocuous spark ambled towards the four. As the world around them darkened, the spark stopped at the center point of the team’s assault. The massive explosion put each of them into the upper hundreds on their damage counters with no effort, sending them flying like missiles to the blast zone. Bill bolted towards him next. Sephiroth attempted another lunging blow, but Bill had it telegraphed, jumping just as the sword was in reach. Landing on the sword itself, Bill ran up it, firing a colorful laser at him. As the lasers connected, Sephiroth withdrew his sword. Bill foresaw this as well, leaping backward. As he touched down, Samus, Ridley, Link, and Zelda, Simon, and Pit appeared. Snapping his fingers, Sephiroth shot a needle of darkness at Bill. When it connected, three orbs began to dance ominously around the soldier. Again, Bill flew an intelligible string of curses, much louder and more frantic this time. As he stumbled back into the group, one of the dancing shadows latched onto Link, and then Zelda. Snapping again, Bill now had five dancing shadows. Snapping again, now Link had five. Sephiroth let the smallest of grins appear on his face.

_And to think I’m enjoying myself,_ the son of Jenova mused.

Link had crouched into a defensive stance, while Zelda stood firm, teeth gritted, poised for the inevitable. Bill, meanwhile, was firing his laser as rapidly as the weapon would allow, speaking an even more deeply nonsensical string of curses.

“Ridley, On my signal! Samus, you provide cover fire” barked Pit.

Sephiroth noticed Ridley briefly glower before nodding. As the two ran towards Sephiroth, the Shadow Flare afflicted trio ran into action. Again, Sephiroth readied Gigaflare. As it had done before, the sky darkened, the ember of destruction floating towards its victims.

“NOW!” Pit bellowed.

He and Ridley flew high just as Gigaflare exploded outward. Bill and Link were hit with it, sent flying, and eliminated just as Shadow Flare kicked in. Yet, among the chaos, Zelda stood completely unharmed the remains of a black and purple knight's armor in shambles around her.

“Impossible,” breathed Sephiroth.

Zelda smirked, “The Goddesses have once again protected me. You, on the hand...”

“GUARDIAAAAAAAAAAAAN ORBITARRRS!”

“Wha-?”

Sephiroth felt two things. First, he felt the piercing of his chest, as if by a blade. He looked up, to see that Ridley’s tail had penetrated his chest. Next, Sephiroth was struck in the head by Pit’s Orbitars. His vision blurred, and sound became an endless ringing, coupled with bursts of pain as he was peppered with Samus’ missiles and beam blasts. Quickly casting Flare, he heard Ridley shriek in pain. As the cobwebs faded away, he saw Ridley had removed his tail, covering his eyes, screaming in pain. Pit, meanwhile, had begun to fire a volley of arrows, which Sephiroth absorbed with quick casts of Scintilla. Hearing what sounded like a smoke bomb, Sephiroth looked up to the source of the noise, he saw a blue-clothed ninja, who he could sense was Zelda in some sort of disguise, launched downward at him, throwing a chain at him in the process. Sephiroth instinctively blocked the chain with his sword, which wrapped around the end of Masamune, Sephiroth felt the chain tighten. Zelda, or whoever she called herself in this form, hadn’t anticipated that and had tensed. Swinging his body in a circle, and the sword with it sent Zelda on a collision course with Ridley, who collapsed upon collision. Pit had erected two shields of some holy, magical nature, holding each out at his sides. Colliding with Zelda made the shields crack, and another go-round broke them entirely. As Sephiroth was preparing the third revolution, he felt another chain wrap itself around Masamune. This one was made of sterner stuff than Zelda’s. He looked in the direction of the chain to see Simon on the other end, with Palutena at his side.

 _How long have they been there?_ he wondered.

” SHIEK! PULL! NOW! YOUR HOLINESS, ANGEL BOY!, FIRE!

It was then Sephiroth was struck with an odd series of sensations. Firstly, having to play a two versus one game of tug of war with his sword was something he was not used to. The second was a heavy aura being felt over his entire body. Like he was being watched, like he was being…aimed at?

“Auto-reticle!” cried Palutena  
Blue bolts of energy, Pit’s Arrow’s of Light, much less Samus’ volley, which he had been tanking for quite a while now, was entirely too much. With all his strength, Sephiroth picked up his weighed down sword, lifting both Simon, and Sheik who was able to find her way to the ground, off their feet. Ridley, who Sephiroth had forgotten about, joined in attempting to weigh down the sword. He was feral, snarling and screaming as the metal half of his face was now melted into slag.

“Nobody, does this to me, especially not you, pretty boy,” seethed Ridley, “When I get to you, I will tear you limb from limb and feast upon your corpse. I will-“

With one, mighty heave, Sephiroth threw all three of them into the air, jumping after them. Simon threw a cross into the air, which Sephiroth sliced apart with his self-taught Octoslash technique.

“Mother of God,” Simon gasped, his eyes wide with horror.

“You’ll do well to refer her to by her name, Jenova,” the silver-haired warrior said with a smirk.

Using another Octoslash, this time with the intent of carving up Simon, Ridley, and Sheik, the 8 slashes connected with the two, sending them to the blast zone. Using the control a competitor in the Smash arena has over their fall, Sephiroth grabbed the ledge, pulling himself up. He briefly observed the situation, magic staff, magical bow, and arm cannon threateningly pointed at him from across the stage.

“Oh no you don’t,” growled Sephiroth.

Charging as fast he could muster across the stage. He was suddenly stopped by someone blocking his airway. The former SOLDIER thrashed, but his mystery attacker refused to break the grip , bringing him closer to the three ranged experts Amidst all the thrashing, he felt himself being deprived of air. This wasn’t a simple hold, he was being choked, and whoever was doing it reeked of cigarettes. Whoever it was, had placed an explosive on his back as well

“SNAKE NOW!” Palutena ordered,

Sephiroth sighed.

“THERE!” shouted Snake, clicking the detonator.

Sephiroth felt the explosive force meant to level a building tear at his back. He also felt the release of his black wing popping out.

To this, his opponents recoiled. The first to speak was Palutena, who simply shouted, “Oh no,”

“Oh yes,” Sephiroth snarled, a wicked smile on his face now.

Swinging his sword as hard as he could, Sephiroth connected with Palutena, sending her to the blast zone.

As Snake combat rolled away, likely to set up a projectile, Ryu and Ken appeared, and, judging by the way their bodies were poised, they looked to uppercut him.

 _Easy fix,_ Sephiroth thought.

He poised himself as if he was going to swing his sword in an upward arch. Three flying uppercuts, Ryu’s, Ken’, and Pit’s Guardian Orbitars, all connected. Yet Sephiroth did not flinch as all three flew into the air from the momentum of their attack.

“WHAT?” Pit shouted in shock.

Sephiroth let a chuckle escape his lips as he swung his sword, knocking all three into the blast zone. Suddenly, Sephiroth felt himself being pulled towards Samus, who reigned punches down with her non-cannon hand as soon as Sephiroth was in range. All Sephiroth had to do was tease summoning Flare for Samus to break the grab and leap away. Sephiroth was free now, swinging his sword as Samus, eliminating her. He felt his neck get grabbed again. Anticipating it this time, he grabbed Snake’s wrists, throwing them off of him and onto the ground below. Now grabbing for Snake’s throat. Using his superior strength, Sephiroth brought Snake to his feet as the legendary mercenary fruitlessly thrashed against the choke.

“Stand down soldier,” threatened Sephiroth, “Your dog won’t understand why you never came home after all.”

“You,” Snake wheezed, now an unhealthy shade of red, “You leave Isabelle out of this you son of a…”

“You don’t understand soldier. I am a god, I will destroy the routes that connect those who oppose me to the soil of sanity. ....”

Sephiroth applied more pressure to the choke, sending Snake to his knees in a coughing fit, “…and they will kneel before me all the same continued Sephiroth.

He booted Snake in the chest, releasing the choke Snake took quick, deep breaths, to regain his composure, but Sephiroth struck him in the chest with the blunt end of his sword, sending Snake to the blast zone as had happened to so many others.

As he had with the Street Fighters, he positioned himself underneath where the new fighters would appear, and swung his sword in the now dreaded arch, taking out Erdrick, Daisy, and Marth before they even had the chance to breathe in his presence.

Now, Doctor Mario and Captain Falcon were before him, an Octoslash disposed of them as quickly as they had appeared. Megaman and Ryu Hayabusa appeared atop the platform that Sephiroth found himself under. A quick upward slice eliminated them both. Yoshi, Chun-Li, and Sonic were the next group. Sephiroth swung into another volley for the Octoslash. Yoshi and Sonic rolled into the blow, believing the Egg Roll and Spin Dash respectively could negate it. Chun-Li also came in with a flurry of kicks, hoping to parry each sword blow with one of her legendary kicks. However, these beliefs were erroneous, and they were overpowered in seconds, launched horizontally, and fodder for a Gigaflare, that eliminated all three of them. As Sephiroth reset his stance from the immensity of casting Gigaflare, he felt himself being sucked in, by something, losing his footing, and suddenly being in a void of nothingness.

“Alright fellas, you remembuh the plan?” came the voice of Dedede from somewhere outside the void.

Sephiroth felt an aggressive wind pulling him inward. Whatever he was inside was breathing. As the voice of whatever was powerful enough to imprison to mighty Sephiroth spoke out, the void rumbled like an earthquake.

“Yeah! Just do the Goulashflare thingy while you charge up your hammer!”

“That’s _Gigaflare_ ya idjit!” snapped Dedede

“It takes-a some chargin’ though-a, and I’ll-a hold ‘em down,” bellowed a third voice, Wario.

“You get to chew on him like bubblegum!” whined Kirby, “Why can’t the scary man be my bubblegum?”

“Not the time Kirbeh!” shouted Dedede.

“Quit yer yappin, and let’s do it!” Wario demanded.

Without warning, he felt himself being upchucked, spiraling into Wario’s waiting maw. Wario attempted to crunch down, but Sephiroth held the top of his jaw open, wriggling free, leaping into the air. It was only now that he managed to survey the situation. Kirby, wearing a hairpiece no doubt meant to resemble his gorgeous silver locks, had cast Gigaflare unto nothing, while Dedede, gritted in pain from the electricity from his hammer as the engine within it pulsated violently, swung his hammer at the air, likely to stop the pain. Pointing his sword downward, he launched to the ground, the enormous sword piercing Kirby, the impact of the blow also knocking King Dedede and Wario asunder. Sephiroth thrust his sword at the downward diagonal, the force of which was enough to eliminate Kirby and Dedede. Wario attempted to run him down with his motorcycle, but a clean swipe of the sword was enough to eliminate Wario. Fox and Falco were up next, each immediately eliminated by Octoslash. Meta-Knight came next, but the disparity in sword sizes knocked the Galaxia out of his hand with ease and allowed Sephiroth to send yet another Smasher to the blast zone with yet another simple swipe. Ness, Ritcher, Porky, and Diddy Kong appeared next. Porky immediately let himself drop down to the blast zone. Diddy and Ness took so long to set up their most powerful attacks, a fully charged Rocketbarrell boost, and a PK Missile respectively, that Sephiroth had the time to set up a Gigaflare, which allowed the chimp and psychic boy to meet their untimely ends. Ritcher appeared next. Unlike Simon, he came in swinging.

After a few blocked strikes nearly stumbled the winded One-Winged One, Sephiroth cast shadow flare. When King K Rool appeared, shoving Ritcher aside in order to close the distance on him, allowing a Shadow Flare to latch onto him, Sephiroth called upon Shadow Flare not once, but twice, so that each of the two competitors had five Shadow Flares orbiting them. K Rool connected a punch just as the Shadow Flares closed in. While the dark energy eliminated Ritcher, King K Rool was able to close back in on the stage with his Propellerpack. As he had done so many times today, Sephiroth struck with a mighty swing of his sword…only for it to clang against the golden armor that was his belly.

The Kremling King let forth a cocky belly laugh, “How do you like that, you emotionally disturbed peasant?”

Sephiroth smirked, “I do actually. I’ve been craving a unique challenge all day.”

Suddenly, Yoshimitsu appeared, leaping into Sephiroth, and the two clashed swords. Just as he heard King K Rool galloping towards him on all fours, he felt the force of the king’s armor crushing into his side. Luckily, as he was mid sword swing against Yoshimitsu, the armor he possessed while preparing a particularly strong sword swing allowed him to tank the blow. Grabbing Yoshimitsu first and K Rool next, he closed his eyes. Because of his time as the watchman of the Smash Mansion, he became accustomed to being able to hear sounds no one else could if he concentrated. One of these was the sound of when a teleporter was being used. Due to the nature of having to transport matter, he could also hear _where_ a teleporter was going to drop its payload. Throwing out a Gigaflare, the ultra-powerful attack exploded just as Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Red’s Charizard, and Team Chaotix appeared, sending all of them away into the blast zone. Sephiroth snapped his gaze to Yoshimitsu and K. Rool, firing a Flare at Yoshimitsu, who was KOed. King K Rool had enough presence of mind to roll out of the way, rising to his feet, and striking a sumo wrestler’s stance, beckoning the former general forward with brutish grunts. Sephiroth connected with another swing, unable to crack the bell armor. From nowhere, King K. Rool produced a musket, whipping on a pirate hat in the same motion. The armored king fired the musket, as a slow metal ball ambled through the air. Sephiroth combat rolled away, easily dodging. Storing the pirate hat away, K Rool ripped his crown off his head, whipping it to the side. Sephiroth barely dodged it as the apparently barbed crown grazed his cheek, drawing blood. K Rool roared with fury, galloping once again on all fours. Sephiroth charged Flare, then Megaflare. The blue flam connected with the golden-armored king just as he leaped to his feet, preparing to do the bellyflop that had ambushed Sephiroth early. The sounds of armor breaking and mechanical components powering down to the failure echoed in the air as the crocodile tumbled slightly in the air, before landing. Sephiroth couldn’t help but grin devilishly as he charged Megaflare

 _Whatever that armor is, it’s biomechanical. His internals and whatever powers the armor are interconnected. Pathetic. No machine can compensate for an opponent with raw talent such as I,_ he thought.

Flicking Gigaflare away like one might banish a piece of flint to the unforgiving world. Sephiroth watched with a glimmer in his eye as the inferno exploded upon K Rool, KOing him. Sephiroth let a chuckle escape him. If the list he’d been given of the “theological” order of the Smashers, his next victim was the one he was looking forward to the most.

Sure enough, Cloud appeared, having substituted his usual one-armed trench coat look for a SOLDIER’s purple uniform, his classic Buster Sword swung lazily over his shoulder.

“Decided to go with the classic look today, did we Cloud?”

The blond man sneered, “I’ve been training. My Omnislash is just as powerful as Version 5 was back at Edge.”

Sephiroth chuckled, “How wonderful for you, I look forward to testing your mettle against you. Will the bear and bird be joining us, or the pretty boy devil, in the leather pants?”

“Pot meet kettle,” spat Cloud.

Again, he chuckled, “Touché, but you didn’t answer my question. I haven’t come all this way just to be disappointed when your friends cheap shot me from behind, have I?”

“No, I asked that I be dropped in alone.”

“Excellent,” Sephiroth snarled.

As he and his mortal enemy began to circle one another, Sephiroth looked out at the background. The moment the Lifestream appeared to expel Meteor before it obliterated Gaia. He wasn’t sure how many times the scene had looped, but still, he found himself sighing with joy, “You know,” Sephiroth began, “It’s fitting that this is the scene..”

Cloud screamed, flying through the air towards Sephiroth, Buster Sword, and Masamune clashing.

“…That this is the backdrop to when I finally beat you, fair and square,” hissed The One-Winged Angel.

**“Northern Crater” Auditorium**

For the last half hour, Sly Cooper, as well as the rest of the Smashers, had watched in complete awe as the two matched each other move for move. Clashing swords, occasionally breaking to weave around the odd Cross Slash or Octoslash, the two spent what seemed like an eternity locked in a stalemate, Even Sephiroth’s most perplexing attack Shadow Flare, proved no match for Cloud, who was able to weave around the homing magic attack by shifting his body in ways that made even the particularly nimble Sly wince. If the thief didn’t know any better, he would’ve guessed this to be a planned production of some kind. Having been in the heat of battles himself, he knew a blood feud when he saw one, and it wouldn’t surprise the raccoon to find pictures of Cloud and Sephiroth with the phrase’s definition in the dictionary. Everyone in the auditorium could see it in their motions on the TV projected on the wall of the auditorium, certainly, but their blows possessed such impact they could feel it from the stage below. Cooper had jumped at the first few impacts, not expecting to feel such impact outside of a natural disaster, but now, nearly on the north side of 30 minutes in, Sly could only feel awe.

Now, Sephiroth had sent forth the almighty Gigaflare. Cloud broke from the sword fight as he had many times before, but to the Smashers’ collective, gasping shock, he ran towards, it, sliding underneath just as the explosion erupted. He hadn’t taken the full impact like the others unfortunate enough to fall to it. Sly could see the spiky-haired man wince, dropping his guard for just a second. Sephiroth’s eyes widened in a twisted realization of what was happening. Cloud must’ve read Sephiroth’s face because he scurried up in an attempt to block the oncoming blow. But it was too late, Sephiroth was racing forward to deliver the Octoslash

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. These slashes connected with Cloud’s chest with no effort. On the eighth, Sephiroth coiled back, hitting Cloud with a spinning slash not unlike Link. As Cloud’s body flipped through the air off the impact, Sephiroth swung his sword like a baseball bat, smacking Cloud offstage and into the blast zone. Sephiroth immediately collapsed onto his hands and knees. The camera made sure to zoom in on his face, which had twisted into a giddy smile, his face vibrating as he quietly chuckled to himself.

“Ditto, go,” Mario shouted.

Sly looked over to where Cloud was sitting. The pink pile of goo chirped happily, twisting into the shape of Sephiroth, and disappearing. Sephiroth seemed unphased, still reveling in his victory over Cloud. The fake Sephiroth powered up Gigaflare. Only when the sky darkened did Sephiroth snap to a confused expression, whipping around, only for Gigaflare to explode, knocking out the one in 100 versus 1.

**“GAME! NEW RECORD!”**

The auditorium erupted in cheers for a brief moment, snapping back to the all too familiar scared silence when the man himself appeared, brushing past everyone and leaving the auditorium.

“Alright, everyone. Dismissed.” Mario ordered.

Murmuring amongst themselves, the Smashers filed out one by one, murmuring to themselves, the loudest of which was Cloud, happily telling Ditto he had earned his weight in Pokemon treats, much to the happy chirps of The Transform Pokemon. As Sly ambled out of the room, he found his usual group of friends, Jin, Yoshimitsu, and Master Chief having found them.

“Are you _seriously_ sad about this tall dark ‘an emo?” Daxter was saying, “Did you see what he did to the freakin’ Pokemon?”

Jin, his expression downcast, nodded, “Yes. I was looking forward to facing off against him."

Master Chief, suddenly spoke, “Not once you hear the analytics Cortana has been running.”

Everyone’s attention snapped to the Spartan, who continued, “Looking up the analytics of his damage output, no other Smashers have even come close to putting out that must damage,”

“So?” balked Daxter, “Those old dinosaurs ain’t got nothin on us new recruits.”

“I’m not sure,” Ratchet said, “The only thing that could beat Sephiroth, was something that transformed into him.”

“I mean, you have a point. But we can find a workaround. We have to, for the money,” Sly said

The group looked around at each other, each gauging their thoughts on the matter.

“The trash rodent speaks the truth,” announced Yoshimitsu.

“Hey!” barked Sly.

“Let him finish,” huffed Jin.

Yoshimitsu cleared his throat, ” We have all defied the odds before. To defy this one, we must train harder,” 

“You’re right,” Jak said with a nod, “Shall we head to the training rooms?”

“Yeah! Let’s go show that shampoo hog what we’re all about. Let’s all head to the Sandover village stage room, just a few doors down,” Daxter cheered.

Following Jak and Daxter, the rest of the group headed down a few doors to the Sandover Village room to train.

.


	39. Opening Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A city opens, Conker lays it all bare, family reunions are had, ethics are discussed, and brackets are revealed!

**Opening Day**

Lucas of Tasmilly Village awoke to the buzzing of wrist communicators layered in triplicate. The devices of the three boys who occupied the room, himself, Ness, and Cuphead chirped loudly, each blaring a neon blue light which was the only source of light in the otherwise pitch-dark room. Lucas rolled over, touching the device, allowing the alarm screen to give way to the instant messaging field. A message from ROB read:

**Please come down to the dining hall for breakfast. The transport to the opening of Smash City will depart in 45 minutes. Opening Day ceremonies are at dusk, where will do procession of the flags, unveiling of the bracket, opening speeches Required group dinner is after.**

“Blah,” grumbled Ness, who had just seen the same text, “Hope that the City Opening isn’t required again this year.”

“Hnng, what happens at those?” groaned Cuphead with a big stretch of all four of his limbs, not even having awoken enough to turn off his alarm.

“We all get in a flying saucer and watch the ships that come in from all of our worlds.”

“Flying saucer? Peachy keen, that sounds right out of the pulps.” Cuphead guffawed.

Lucas grinned. The cartoon boy’s ceaseless wonder had made him a delight to room with. Ness, on the other hand, wore a disinterested frown.

“Yeah well, the people I usually invite have been here for every tournament, so it’s kinda just…same old crap.”

“I mean,” Lucas said with a warm, empathetic smile, “You have been around the horn the most of us.”

Ness simply nodded, frowning deeply when he read Lucas’ thoughts accidentally, a passive-aggressive snipe at taking his family for granted.

“Oh God, I just realized how crappy that sounded.”

“Yeah, I came across as mean too.”

“No you didn’t,” encouraged Ness, “Not verbally anyway.”.

“I can’t help but think about how much I want to be cheered on by my family. Sometimes I forget that not everyone has that problem, ya know?”

“And sometimes I forget not everyone has a loving and supporting family.”

Cuphead bolted upright and bed, “I’ll leave you two to…whatever pity party this is. As for me, time’s a-wastin'!” said the sentient teacup, bolting out of the room.

Ness and Lucas once again exchanged looks, Cuphead’s outburst having drawn their attention. Ness noticed Lucas was already smiling warmly at him. Ness admired that about Lucas, his ability to quickly bury petty, accidental arguments. Noticing Lucas blushing at having read Ness’s thoughts, they quickly broke eye contact, chuckling nervously as they fumbled into their day clothes and leaving the room. Lucas grunted in shock as he fell into the forming parade of Smashers. Looking around, he saw the same cast of characters he had been standing near on the way to the first all-hands meeting. But unlike that one, which was full of wonderment and cheer, this journey to the dining hall was marked by an uncomfortable silence from veterans and newcomers alike. Ness having bolted into the crowd almost immediately, Lucas had no choice but to let his mind wander out of boredom, picking up stray thoughts along the way.

_The tournament bracket makes me nervous!! With all these people here, who will we fight?_ echoed the thoughts of Olimar, who shuffled to The Dining Hall with his Pikmin.

_Man, I really hope I don’t have to fight my Papa,_ came the voice of Bowser Junior.

That one unnerved Lucas. Fighting loved ones was something other Smashers had experienced. The first example that popped into his head was Lucina and Robin fighting each other in the first round last time. Perhaps because of the distance he had had from the situation, it was easy to dismiss as something that didn’t apply to him. The reality of the situation, however, couldn’t be further from that. What if he had to fight Red, or Cuphead, or Ness? 

The blond boy shook his head, stowing his fears as he descended the stairs. Walking into The Dining Hall, ROB was there to greet them, “Your seats are assigned, please find the card with your name on it.”

As Lucas navigated the enormous table before him, ROB’s monotone voice drifted further and further into the background, a chorus of investigative yet droning thoughts flooded him as everyone ambled about, looking for their seats. Telepathy made even tasks as monotonous as these require the utmost of his coping mechanisms. Breathing deeply and shutting the thoughts out, he found his seat. Sonic was already seated to his left, impatiently tapping his foot, “Hate these meetings,” mumbled Sonic, “Hate sitting.”

“You alright bud?” asked a concerned Lucas,

Sonic huffed, before nodding, “Yeah. Just wish they’d hurry it up. It’s not like the vast majority of us don’t know what’s going on.”

Lucas nodded back, “Ness was saying the same thing this morning.”

“We can’t be the only ones.” Sonic whined, “If this is a meeting about stuff us veterans already know, why don’t they just pull the newbies aside?”

A new voice piped in, “Because, Mario wants us to do stuff as a unit.”

“Oh, hey Diddy,” Lucas greeted, his gaze snapping up to the chimpanzee, who had taken the seat on Lucas’ happily munching on a banana.

“Where the heck did you get a banana? Thought we all had these power pellets for breakfast.”

“Power-?” asked Lucas, taking notice of his plate for the first time.

Indeed, three blinking yellow pellets from Pacman’s homeworld sat upon their plate. While Diddy was lecturing Sonic on why it would be unwise to deprive Donkey Kong of his daily banana, Lucas listened to the chatter. To his left were the more senior members of the group, some of the earliest recruits from the Brawl days down into the Melee class. They were quiet, chattering amongst themselves with the poise of professionals. Meanwhile, the right side of Lucas’ hearing, which was occupied by those less senior than him, was more aflutter with excitement the further down the table they went. Some speculated what the tournament would be like, others bragged about who could beat up who, while others whined at the lack of the usual dining options.

_That reminds me, better try these pellets._

Using the fancy silverware, Lucas cut a piece off, even though he could’ve popped it into his mouth without thought. His adventure rallying against the forces of Porky had seen him eat many a questionable delicacy, so he took foreign foods with much more caution. He brought the fork to his mouth, taking a bite of the power pellet. Lucas’ eyes went wide. The outer shell tasted like a lemon hard candy, but the inside was fleshy like a pineapple, and just as sweet too. Lucas let the taste dance around in his mouth. It felt as though manufactured sugar and the natural sweetness of the fruits that reminded him of childhood were engaged in the world’s weirdest waltz. Lucas popped the rest into his mouth quite happily. As the small bite earlier hit his stomach, he felt the empty void of hunger disappear, as if he’d just consumed an especially carb-loaded sandwich.

 _Woah, talk about protein_ Lucas thought, impressed at this apparent miracle food.

“So what, can we eat ghosts now?” Sonic asked sarcastically, “Because if so, we’ve got a ghost in my world fat enough to feed the whole world.”

As if on cue, the doors to the hall swung open, Mario and the rest of the Administration Team walked through, ROB joining them to bring up the rear Mario bearing a mischievous smile, “No Sonic, I’m afraid that’s specific to the Pacman physiology, but they are a great emergency ration, which is what we’re gonna need today. Before we get off on the city opening, I just wanted to quickly introduce on-camera personalities for this event. Our commentary team will be Cranky Kong and 9-Volt as it was last year.”

Diddy sighed deeply as the old man hobbled into the room, the young apprentice of Wario, 9-Volt bouncing excitedly at his side. Cranky simply waved at the crew, grumbling something to his young co-host.

“And,” continued Mario, “We have the usual interviewing team. Mister Zero from Captain Falcon’s homeworld, Rita Richards, the beat reporter from the land of Rhythm Haven.”

The doors swung open. A green-haired man wearing odd red goggles and a garish purple suit stepped in. He and his companion, a formally dressed yet disheveled women took their place alongside 9-Volt and Cranky 

“Now,” Mario said, “We have some new personalities to bring on to the mix. I’ve always thought our tournaments have been missing pre-fight and post-fight engagement. So, introducing first, from the world of Splatoon, OFF THE HOOK!”

Again, the enormous double doors burst open. The first one through the door was a shorter Squid Girl with pale skin and cream hair with pink highlights. She wore a white dress, pink knee-high socks, and white boots. Her companion, a taller Squid Girl with darker skin, brown hair with blue highlights, and an all-black ensemble befitting of a pop star cut off top, shorts, and black boots started the proceedings.

“Y’ALL KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!” she said.

“Hey, isn’t that usually my line Marina?” asked her companion.

“Thought we’d switch it up Pearl because we’ll be COMIN’ AT YOU LIVE from Smash City before every round. As you heard, I’m Marina, she’s Pearl, and we’re….”

“OFF THE HOOK!” the two said simultaneously, striking their signature pose.

As Torri stood up and clapped, Off the Hook took their places in the line up of on-camera personalities.

“Now,” Mario continued, “Introducing the post-fight analysis. Going forward, he will be the host of “Coffee with Cait,” He is….CAIT SITH!”

From beyond the double doors bounced a fluffy white…bunny…thing, as far as Lucas could reckon. Resting atop its head was a grey cat humanoid.

“Reeve, the hell are you doing here?” moaned Cloud from several seats down.

“They through some moolah my way, and here we are!” Cait chortled.

“Oh, okay,” Cloud growled, turning to Mario, “So you only let my friends in Smash City when there’s money to be made?”

The veterans’ portion of the table went silent, while the newcomers murmured confusedly.

“Look,” Mario began, “I should explain, Cloud’s history with Smash is… what can-a best be described as uniquely antagonistic,”

“Can I tell my own story please?” snapped Cloud.  


Mario simply nodded.

Cloud sighed, and began his tale, “ So, after my last fight with Sephiroth I went to Cosmo Canyon for a couple of months to get my head straight. I’m on my way back when suddenly Midgar is before me as if I’d never defeated Shinra, the corporation that almost killed the planet. That’s when Kirby, Samus, and Red’s Pokemon trio jump me. I beat ‘em all, and Master Hand shows up, offers me an invitation to join Smash Brothers. I turn him down. Apparently, I’m the only guy to ever do that, so I piss off the Hand. Of course, bein’ the merc I am, I negotiate to be paid a winner’s purse as a signing bonus. Hand eventually realizes I’m worth the price, but cause he’s pissed off, he decides no one from my world can come watch me fight. After I won the tournament, Master Hand had promised to make amends with me next time. But, then the shit with the Smash Core happened, so I never got that. But now, instead of just letting my friends in, you have one host a show.

“I was getting to that,” Mario muttered.

“What?” Cloud demanded.

“Yeah Cloud ole buddy,” Cait jubilantly “We’re _all_ here.”

“All? Do you mean…?”

_Lucas’ family too,_ Lucas heard Mario think absentmindedly.

Lucas’ heart skipped a beat. 

“Where are they?” Lucas and Cloud asked simultaneously, shooting up from their seats.

Mario blinked for a second, his muscles tensing, then relaxing, “Oh, Lucas, I forget that you’re psychic sometimes. We found an alternate dimension with your family intact. The Trophy Hotel. A car’s already been assigned to take you there. You’re excused.”

And so, the two Smashers headed out the doors and to the front door of the mansion, where, sure enough, a limousine was waiting.

As the two barreled into their seats, the limo taking off as soon as the doors shut, Lucas thought about saying something to Cloud but decided that, between the far-away look in Cloud’s eyes, and never having had a conversation with the intimidating swordsmen, now wasn’t the best time. He had his own feelings to parse through. Was it true that _all_ of his family was here? What would he even say to Claus, his mother? He felt the tears of sheer disbelief come on. Just as suddenly, he felt eyes on him. Lucas snapped his gaze to see Cloud staring at him from the opposite end of the limo, eyes glistening with tears held back, giving him a curt, singular nod. Lucas nodded back. So it seemed the two didn’t need to speak to know they were in the same boat.

Peering out the window, his heart pounding, Lucas saw it up ahead. The last landmark before the Smash Mansion entrance, The Trophy Hotel was by and large the largest building in Smash City, which was the base for everyone notable to the Smashers’ adventures, making it the most elite of the exclusive buildings in the City. Its outward opulence reflected that status with two golden towers piercing the clouds with its sheer verticality Before Lucas’ time, the top of the golden, two-towered building was the setting of the “Snag the trophies” event, which amounted to nothing more than a gimmicky game of basketball on a tightrope between the two buildings, where the Smashers juggled trophies into a hoop to promote the Trophy Museum, an extraordinary collection of sculpted figures of the Smashers and their guests, on the main floor, the only part of the building that was accessible to everyone. Every other floor of the monolithic building was invitation-only, except for Smashers who could browse the building as they wished.

Stepping out of the limo, the two passed through the golden automatic doors of The Trophy. Immediately, cocktail jazz music flooded their ears, and top of the line air fresheners flooded their noses. Cloud looked around. On the left stood the enormous golden doors to the Trophy Museum. To his right, a wall lined with expensive bottles of booze in transparent glass cases.

“Heh, and I thought Shinra was tacky,” Cloud grunted.

“You mentioned them in the meeting, but I don’t quite understand…”

“Corporate bigwigs I had to fight back home,” Cloud finished Lucas’ thought, "I never was comfortable around opulence before I crossed them, and fighting them just made it worse.”

Lucas nodded, “I get that, kinda reminds me of what my town turned into.”

Cloud nodded back, stepping up to the counter on the opposite side of the room, in relatively quick strides, “Excuse me, but uh, can you direct me to the elevator?”

“Ah, Mister Strife, we don’t have them,” said an unknown voice.

Floating down from the seemingly infinite expanse that was the ceiling, a yellow block creature whose only defining feature was black circles around its black eyes appeared before them.

“I am Mister Disk, the proprietor of this fine hotel. Mario rang ahead.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Cloud growled.

Mister Disk said nothing for the briefest of seconds, his face remaining creepily stoic as he spoke, “Each guest’s room is on a need to know basis. They are given wristwatches that, upon typing in…”

“Enough, we have people to see,” growled the Ex-SOLDIER once again.

“Don’t mind my associate Mister Disk, please continue,” Lucas interjected

“Thank you,” Mister Disk continued, “As I was saying, each guest is given a wristwatch, and, upon typing in their room code, they are teleported to their room. Guests are of course, given codes for other facilities, such as the gym, pool, shopping area, and our many restaurants. As Smashers yourselves, your watches are already integrated with our software, all you need is…”

Mister Disk winked, and USB dongles appeared in the USB slot of their wristwatches. Immediately, both their wrist watches flared to life. Both of them looked at their watches, “AVALANCHE family? So I just press, the ‘Go’ button and I’m there?”

“Yes, it’s as simple as that,” proudly chided Mister Disk.

Lucas was awestruck but what he saw, “Lucas’ family,”. His finger shook and his heartbeat felt like it was going a million miles an hour.

_Am I ready? Will, I ever be ready?_ fretted the young boy.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Cloud, smiling uncharacteristically warmly down at him.

“It’s alright kid. I’m nervous too. There’ll be people I haven’t seen in a long time where I’m headed too. This isn’t a one-time thing either. Everything that needs to come out, will.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Cloud,” Lucas said, breathing in deep to achieve calm.

“Let’s do it together,” Cloud said, “It’ll help me be brave, alright?”

Lucas flashed a sideways smirk, “You, need help being brave? I don’t believe that!”

Cloud smirked back, “You have no idea. Anyway, let’s count it down. One… Two… Three!”

At the count of three, both of them pressed the buttons that took them to their families. Lucas saw a white flash of light. When the world came back into focus, he smelled his mom’s nutbread. And there they sat around a quaint kitchen table, Claus, Flint, and Hinawa.

“MOM!” shouted Lucas,

Everyone looked up. Before Lucas could register Claus speaking first, “Well! Look what the cat dragged in,” he teased

“Claus! Be nice to your brother! He hasn’t seen you and me in quite a while after all.”

Hinawa excused herself from the table, holding her arms wide for Lucas. Tearfully, Lucas ran to her, hugging her tight, which she reciprocated. Claus hugging them both.

“How…how much did Mario tell you?”

“Everything. We’re from a universe where Porky didn’t survive the transition from his time.” Claus explained, “But Mario briefed us on the way over like you said, but the whole “finding out about other timelines” thing that happens when you come here filled in all the blanks. With all that on the table, mom and I couldn’t be prouder with how you handled it.”

“That means a great deal Claus, thank you,” Lucas said, peering over the group hug to make eye contact with a still seated Flint, “What about you Dad? You hanging in there okay?”

“Better than I have in years son.”

Lucas nodded, before a wash of cold brushed over him, “Wait, where am…I?”

“Back home with Dad,” Claus shrugged, “I guess not having to go on the adventure means that you’re still a timid wallflower where we come from. Didn’t wanna see the fighting.”

Again, Lucas nodded, “I understand. This Smash stuff isn’t everyone's cup of tea.”

“Speakin’ of,” interjected Flint, “Ya need to tell me about some of these…weirdos.”

“Flint!” Hinawa scolded.

“Don’t ‘Flint’ me! I ain’t never been to one of these, like I said when we all met up. Then I find out there’s a kid with Lucas’ powers from hundreds of years in the past?”

Lucas’ eyes lit up, “Oh, Ness? I can’t wait for you all to meet. He’s my best friend!”

“That’s wonderful dear!” Hinawa said with a smile, “Let’s start with him, and work our way to some of your more…colorful friends. I figure you already ate breakfast, but maybe you’d like some peanut butter and nut bread?”

Lucas giggled, “Oh boy, would I!”

**AVALANCHE Family Suite, moments earlier**

Cloud appeared at the end of the room, opposite an enormous table. The first thing his eyes drifted to was Tifa. His gaze drifted first to the center of the table, which seemed to house a miniature mountain of Gil. That’s when he noticed the others at the table, Yuffie in Vincent’s lap, Cid, Barrett, Marlene, and Denzel had cards in hand.

Cloud smirked, _Spades,_ he thought as he found himself reminiscing on the sheer amount of gill he had lost in Barrett’s favorite card game on the adventure.

“Eight books,” Marlene happily declared, throwing down her hand.

Annoyed grumbles filled the room, much to Cloud’s amusement as those nearest to Marlene helped her scoop the gill over to her.

“Best make sure she doesn’t spend the money in one place, Barrett,” said a smooth, handsome sounding voice.

“Yeah! Or else we’ll have an incident like last year’s Chocoboween on our hands,” said another voice, the spunky voice of a young woman.

Cloud’s eyes widened. So transfixed was his gaze on Tifa, he hadn’t realized who else was occupying the card game.

Biggs.

Jessie.

Wedge.

At the head of the table was Zack, Aerith in his lap.

“Yeah,” chuckled Barrett, “I never thought she was gonna come down from that sugar rush.”

Cloud finally shook himself from his stupor.

“What?” balked Cloud, choking back a cough, “You’re alive?”

Inwardly, Cloud moaned _Not my coolest line._

No one seemed to care though, as everyone looked in his direction, “Cloud!” everyone cheered.

Marlene and Denzel were the first up. Cloud knelt down as they both ran into a hug from him. Cloud stood up when he felt a tap on his shoulder, “Got enough hugs left for me?” asked Aerith.

The ex-SOLDIER stood, “Need to build up my mana first,” he chided.

Aerith giggled as they hugged, “No ethers here, unfortunately.”

“Damn it,” playfully cursed Cloud.

“ There are kids here Cloud, right in front of you in fact,” said Zack.

Cloud smirked over Aerith’s shoulder, “You haven’t been around Barrett very long then.”

Zack chuckled, “If he cusses in life like he does when he loses a hand of spades, I get it.”

“Hey,” barked Barrett, “I didn’t come to this thing so that I could get lip service from _two_ spiky-haired asses.”

Again, the room flooded with chuckles. Aerith finally let the hug go so that Jessie could hug him.

“Clouuuud!” she cried, squeezing ever tighter.

“Hold it together Jessie,” scolded Biggs, “Aerith didn’t freak out that bad, and who knows the last time Cloud and Aerith saw each other.”

“The City of the Ancients,” Aerith explained, “But Zack and I have been watching him ever since then, so it hasn’t exactly been a long time.”

“A long time since you hugged him though, I’d imagine,” piped in Wedge.

“See!” protested Wedge to Jessie, “Aerith was way more calm about it than you were!”

“Aerith’s a freakin’ saint, you can’t hold my thirst to her standards” snapped Jessie, much to Aerith’s amused giggling.

“So uh, how are you guys here?” Cloud choked out.

“We come from a timeline where we survived the plate falling. Zack and Aerith come from separate timelines where they survived the nonsense too. At least, that’s how Red explained it.” Jessie explained.

“Speaking of which, where is the old man?”

“Taking advantage of the quiet with Reeve, who’s still doing the Cait Sith thing with the meeting you ducked out of.”

“What kinda hero are _you_ , skipping out on a big hero meeting like that?” sarcastically balked Yuffie.

“Heh, I shirked my Shinra duties back in the day to hang out with this one,” said Zack, suavely pointing a thumb at Aerith, “So we’re more alike than we thought.”

“Ugh, both of you are such bad role models,” smirked the heiress to the Wutai throne.

“Um…Aunt Yuffie? Didn’t you steal their Materia, like Uncle Cid told us?” Denzel asked timidly.

Yuffie’s hands curled into a fist in childish indignation, “I told you! I borrowed it.”

“Doesn’t borrowing imply permission?” dryly teased Vincent.

“Ooooh! Not you too!” Yuffie yelled

Laughter once again filled the room, but a very distinct giggle caught Cloud’s attention. There was one person he hadn’t said hello to yet.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Jessie,” Cloud mumbled.

Cloud picked Jessie up, setting her aside.

“Hey!” shrieked the bomb maker.

“Let the man see his girlfriend Jess, sheesh,” grumbled Biggs.

“Not quite yet,” said Zack standing up, “You mind if I have some time with Smasher boy Tifs?”

“Not at all. I’ll have plenty of time with Cloud later.” Tifa said with a flirty wink

“Why is it when she does that it’s hot, but when I do it’s weird,” grumbled Jessie.

“Because you’re not his girlfriend idiot!” shouted Yuffie.

Wordlessly rolling his eyes. Cloud extended his hand. Zack gave it a hardy shake, “I’m proud of you kid,” he said.

“I mean, Aerith was the one who had the forethought to summon Holy…”

Zack shook his head, “Not just that. You’ve…improved since the Geostigma crisis. Not nearly as…hey Denzel what was the word you used earlier?”

“Emo,” matter-of-factly stated Denzel.

“Yeah! Apparently, that’s what all the kids call mopey people.”

“Hey!” Tifa suddenly barked, catching the attention of everyone in the room, “Lay off him. He went through a lot.”

“No Tifa, he’s right,” bemoaned Cloud, “I was in a bad place. It took me going to Cosmo Canyon to find myself. And…I’m sorry I took at my emotional immaturity on you.”

Cloud brushed past Zack, making his way to Tifa. She stood up, throwing herself into Cloud’s arms, “ No, it’s fine. I wasn’t the best partner either. What matters is that you’re okay and that you’re back. I’m so glad you. I’m so glad we went through all this.”

Cloud raised an eyebrow.

“No, I don’t mean that in a vindictive way. You know the saying, that it’s darkest before the dawn? Without the darkness, we couldn’t have gotten here, to the dawning of a new day, so in a way, I’m happy with the path we’ve taken.”

“Me too, now I can finally be the man you deserve. That Denzel deserves,”

A smirk on her face, Tifa pecked Cloud on the cheek, “I always knew you could, from the day you followed me up Mount Nibel.”

Cloud returned the smirk and the peck, “That long ago huh?”

“Yeah,” Tifa whispered, her eyes sparkling with admiration and lust.

Cloud and Tifa moved in for a more thorough kiss, but a voice from outside the group rang out. “Aye, I’m not interuptin’ anything am I?”

Cloud’s attention turned in the direction of the suites, to see Reeve finally joining the group, Red XIII walking alongside him.

“Nah, meeting wrapped up?” Cloud asked.

“You bet yer,” Reeve began, in his singsong Scottish Cait Sith voice, before clearing his throat and saying in his normal voice, “Yeah. You didn’t miss much. Lots of dumb questions, as are typical of meetings like these I’m afraid. Futaba, the orange-haired Phantom Thief is going to offer her predictions before each fight based on the knowledge she has.”

“Reeve,” Cloud snapped, suddenly deadly serious, “How was…he?”

“Oh, Sephiroth?” Reeve asked.

Cloud nodded.

“Behaved. He looked bored though,”

Cid and Yuffie spoke up at the same time, “Are we…?”

Cid beckoned for Yuffie to speak,

“Are we gonna talk about that?” asked Yuffie, “Sephiroth, on the side of the good guys? Seems fishy to me.”

“Well I’ll be, the princess says something that ain’t snark,” joked Cid.

“Hey!” shouted Yuffie.

“He has a point my dear, you’ve been in a grouchy mood for a while now,” mumbled Vincent

“I just lost like, a hundred gill to a six-year-old in spades, cut me a break,” snapped Yuffie, slamming her hand down on the table.

“Aunt Yuffie, I’m eight!” whined Marlene.

“So, what’s it to ya?”

Cloud held up a hand, silencing the room “ It seems like he had a disagreement with the other side. He hasn’t caused a disturbance beyond the one I instigated when he first showed up. He’s sworn allegiance, for now, even going as far as to let us know if we’re something he needs to eliminate later, he will.”

“Well, that rouses my confidence,” muttered Cid, taking a long drag of a cigarette.

“I know. I’m not exactly about it either but having someone as powerful as him on my side is invaluable.”

“We each come from timelines in which Sephiroth has been defeated. With the team operating at full strength, I have more faith in our ability to succeed than I did before coming here,” Red explained.

A chorus of agreement flooded the room. As the show of morale ebbed, Tifa spoke up, “So, when do you have to be back?”

Cloud thumbed through the calendar function on his communicator, simultaneously kneeling, and scratching Red where the base of his skull connected with his neck. The already docile animal purred out in approval, “Technically, being at the viewing for the city opening isn’t required. I’ve gotta be back for the big procession at the stadium.”

Yuffie flashed her trademark big, goofy smile, “Awesome, so you’ve got some time. You can take my place in Spades, I’m outta gill.”

“Actually,” said Cloud, pulling Tifa ever closer, “I think I owe her some time most of all.”

Through her childlike grin, Tifa asked, “Actually, Reeve, can you take my place?”

“Yeah Mister I-have-a-savings account, put yer money where your mouth is,” challenged Barrett

“Yeah!” Yuffie agreed with a celebratory fist pump.

“Alright, if you say so,” smirked Reeve, before glancing over at Cloud and Tifa, “You two have fun alright?”

“Oh, and if you pop one out I get naming rights!” added Yuffie.

“Not on your life, that’s Zack and Aerith’s honor,” disagreed Cloud as he led Tifa to one of the bedroom suites by the hand, Tifa pointing him in the direction of her suite through a torrent of giggles.

When the door closed, Zack broke the silence with “Boy oh boy, the price of spades is steep.”

“Protect your pocketbook as a SOLDIER?” Aerith joked as the cards were put in the middle of the table and dealt.

A shit-eating grin plastered itself of Zack’s face, “Come and get it,”

**Smashcraft 1**

Quinn took in the scene before him for seemingly the hundredth time. Whether that was an exaggeration or not, even Quinn could notice the narrowed glances of the villains on board the flying saucer. However, the truth remained that this was no less surreal a scene no matter how often one stopped to breathe. Quinn was in a flying two-tiered flying saucer at level with the top floor of The Trophy Hotel. On the tier in which he stood were most of the newcomers, the only exception being Sephiroth, who had refused to abandon his post. The only veterans who had opted to come along for fun were Olimar and Rosalina, each of who had made remarks about feeling more “at home” on the floor of space crafts. On the tier above them, a makeshift viewing bridge stood the administration team with Luigi Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Bowser, Dedede, Ganondorf, Paliutena, Marth, Roy Corrin, Villager, Isabelle all three Yilssian royals, and both elders of the Kong family. Everyone seemed to be in chatter, but a certain space pirate’s complaints were the loudest of all.

“Why are _they_ here?” Ridley snarled, casting a glance up at them at the occupants of the upper floor.

“It just now occurred for you to ask? You’re less observant a fool than I could’ve imagined,” taunted K. Rool.

“No, you idiot,” hissed Ridley, “Having royalty beaming down at me reminds me too much of a court-martial.”

“Have you not realized that that’s the connection?” asked Altair to a childish growl from Ridley, “They’re dignitaries. They have a stake in whether or not their subjects make it safely to this plain or not. At least, that’s my understanding from what Sans has told Quinn and I.”

“You get information that isn’t nonsense from that buffoon?” Ridley asked indignantly.

“It’s a difficult task if the subject doesn’t interest him.”

“You know I can hear you right?” called Sans from the top tier, “But…you don’t care do you?”

The tiniest smirk appeared on Altair’s lips, his eyes, hidden by his cowl and by the downward tilt of his head, no doubt afire with immeasurable glee, “No I do not. Not one bit,” proudly shouted the assassin.

Small chuckles could be heard as Sans cast his roommate a thumbs up. Ridley piped up again, “Hey! Shouldn’t you be up there with the ruling class scaley?”

“Like you’re one to talk,” King K. Rool shot back, “And if you’ll remember, all of my subjects accompanied me here.”

“Right, because you’re such a loser your people were vagabonds on a submarine for what, two decades?” Ridley quipped.

King K. Rool began to advance menacingly towards Ridley, who adopted his fighting stance. Dark Samus leaped in between them, growling a breathy roar as if the strongest lungs had inhaled into a drive-thru speaker. Immediately, Dark Samus’ shock collar activated. Dark Samus scuttled away, and the interruption seemed to startle the two combatants.

“And we were doing so well,” bemoaned Shulk with a solemn shake of his head.

“Dark Samus is _my_ associate, and yet you treat her like she’s your puppy!”

As the air in the room quickly became polluted with the sounds of Ridley and Shulk arguing back and forth, Quinn saw the opportunity to make his way over to Rosalina, “So are the Lumas outside?”

Rosalina’s gaze on the bay window finally broke, turning to him, “Yes, they quite like greeting the ships that come in. The people like it too.”

“I can imagine so. It must be like being greeted by a mascot at a theme park as soon as you walk in,” said the Mii representative with a nod.

Rosalina nodded back, with a heavenly giggle.

“Indeed!” said the cosmic princess, “That’s exactly the rationale The Hands gave when I first joined."

“Same for my Pikmin and I,” Olimar agreed.

Quinn’s face must have inadvertently betrayed his initial shock because Olimar chuckled at him, “It’s my voice isn’t it? Yeah, I get that all the time.”

“Yeah but uh…” Quinn paused to find the words, “Pikmin are mascots around here?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” Olimar said matter-of-factly, “People love growing them as pets, so it’s really emblematic of the Smash experience to have a Pikmin or two at your feet.”

“Huh, never thought a pet would be something I’d walk out of this with,” Quinn stated.

Quinn paused, thinking of a joke, but mulling over if its recipient would find it offensive or not.

_Eh, screw it,_ Quinn thought.

“Hey Rosalina, are your Lumas for sale?”

“No, but I can find you an agreeable deal on a Luma plushie.”

Rosalina was suddenly in full-on laughter, which Quinn and Olimar couldn’t help but join in on. Quinn once again found himself reflecting on the moment. Rosalina’s every emotion was like a supernova of warmth, and damn it, he liked being at the center.

“If we could have quiet please, it’s showtime,” Marth commanded the newcomers/

“Alright,” Mario muttered, rubbing his hands together, and sighing deeply, “ROB, take us through it.”

“Zypher ring locked. Main re-block disengaged.”

Before anyone knew it, the sky was full of diamond-shaped stargates. Whatever scientific mumbo jumbo brought people to the other side wasn’t active yet Quinn guessed, as he could still see the sky through the open holes in each of the near thousands of stargates that faced them. The machines began to whir in synch. The outer rim of each stargate began to flash a neon green, eventually expanding outward in a green circle.

“All blocks confirmed, no anomalies detected,” ROB continued, “Commencing energy exposure,”

Each green circle produced beams that centered in each diamond enclosure

“Widening gate lenses,”

With that, each previously opaque circle became a neon green. Aboard Smashcraft 1, the reactions of this spectacle ranged from expressions of sheer awe, to shriek from the brightness of the light.

“All gates have been successfully created.”

To the cheers of everyone aboard Smashcraft 1, Mario triumphantly, declaratively, raised his fist in the air, “Alright ROB, give everybody the go-ahead, and take us up.”

“Affirmative,”

The ship lurched up just as the first dreadnaughts, brown passenger ships with the Smash logo emblazoned in red, ambled through the portal. Impossibly long ships proudly displaying the logos of countries and corporations alike marched in a seemingly endless aerial parade. The caterwauling of noise was immense, most of it amazement. He heard the peppy, high pitched voice of Haru Okumura gleefully point out the ship with the Okumura Foods logo on it to her friends, the balking of Sly Cooper and Dante, each of which seemed equally befuddled that this many people would come from their homeworld to watch them fight, to the shrill grumbling of Ridley, something about modifying Cornerian technology for this purpose. Above it, all, however, came the authoritative, yet relieved voice of Mario, “Alright everyone, everyone visiting Smash City has a teleporter/communicator device, but only VIPs you specified have been given your communicator number, so some of you might be gettin’ calls-a relatively soon. I don’t-a mind some phone time, as we’ve still got a few hours to go before actual Opening Day ceremonies, but if we could not go visit people in the city til after the first-a round, that would be greatl.”

“Why did the spikey-haired kid get to go visit his friends then?” whined Ridley.

“Hey dumbass, nobody cares about what you think!” Daisy finally barked.

“Dear…” gasped Peach, whose nerves looked like they’d only just to begun to dissipate after the mass arrival, only to shoot back up again.

“No Peach, you said I hadta put on my princess face for everybody coming through, now that’s over, now it’s back to the real Daisy!”

“Oh, because everyone loves you being a loud shrew sooo much,” sarcastically cooed Ridley.

As everyone erupted into an argument, Quinn saw Sans elbow Marth, whisper something into the prince’s ear, and disappear upon the prince’s approving nod.

**Smash Mansion: Sans, Altair, and Quinn’s Room**

15 minutes. 15 minutes Sans had waited since exiting Smashcraft One. The skeleton’s normally level breathing trembled.

“This is already gonna be the worst conversation of my life, and making me wait is gonna make me feel soooo much better ya old goat bastard,” he ranted to no one in particular.

No sooner had the last syllable of the last word left his mouth than did his communicator ring. On the screen came the warm, kindly face of Asgore Dreemur, the former King of All Monsters.

“I apologize for the delay my friend,” bemoaned the grandfatherly voice of Asgore, “ It took me forever to get to the cargo hold so I could make this call quietly. Papyrus and Frisk wanted to talk to you so badly, it reminded me of when Asriel would climb on me when he was..”

“Spare me your fatherly anecdotes,” barked Sans, “We both know why we’re here,”

Asgore’s face darkened, “That we do. So, what do we glean from them, these Smashers?”

Sans shrugged, “Dunno. Mario didn’t outright reject me wanting to fix the timeline, but he didn’t seem enthusiastic either. He seems like a nice guy who inherited way too intense a job.”

Back into grandfather mode, Asgore chuckled, “That I can understand. So, where do you stand?”

“Dunno,” Sans shrugged again.

Sans had expected anger, annoyance, from The Mountain King, but what he got was, a genuine sadness, “Sans…”

“You don’t understand. _He_ is here.”

Asgore’s eyes widened, “You don’t mean…”

“I do,”

“But he’s...”

“I know.”

The two sat in an uncomfortable silence. Sans finally broke it, “Ya know, letting you in on this timeline secret was the worst thing I ever did.”

“I understand it couldn’t have been easy. If other timelines are any indication, we know greater philosophical quandaries have been beyond this old goat.”

Had he not had more control of it, Asgore’s plunge back into “Grandpa Asgore” mode would’ve prompted his feared blue eye to make an appearance,

_But,_ thought Sans, _If he’s not angry with me, the least I owe him is not to be angry with him._

“That’s why I’m saying, sleep on it. Your plan to rewrite history so that the monsters win the Human/Monster War is respectfully ambitious, but the whole “unraveling hundreds of years of racial tension,” thing’s beyond my pay grade, hence why I never went further ‘Frisk falls down the mountain.’ Hell, Flowey never went back that far, and dude’s nuttier than a squirrel cafeteria in the winter.”

“Helping a few hundred lives work through their trauma or eliminate the trauma of all your people, only to condemn humans to that same trauma.”

“You seem remarkably centrist for someone who wants to reverse the condemning of an entire race.”

“It is quite the quandary. On one hand, I respect your boundaries with this amazing power and could be swayed to it myself. On the other hand, where has taking the middle road ever gotten us?” Asgore mused, thoughtfully rubbing a paw on his chin.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about and pushing to the back of the conga line ever since I discovered all this stuff but…”

“But what?” gently prodded the king.

“I don’t know if I ever told you this, but…I can smell LOVE.”

“The violence in someone?” Asgore asked.

“Yep,” Sans sighed, “ _He_ talks to me sometimes, reminding me how bad it stinks, something I tuned out a long time ago. I dunno what he wants outta me, but it’s hard to reconcile that involves giving people I consider buds a bad time. But I can’t deny going along with your original proposal means getting _him_ out of my head ”

“Perhaps Sans,” Asgore began, the soft tones of a beloved grandfather laid on extra-thick, “It’s time to take your own advice and sleep on it. You have times to think everything over, decide where your allegiances lay.”

Sans silently nodded, fighting back tears.

“I understand that…you and I might end up on different sides of this conflict, depending on what we decide. No hard feelings, alright?”

Sans again nodded, this time announcing, “None whatsoever.”

Asgore nodded happily, “Good! Let me know when you are free, we are all long overdue for a get-together. Papyrus has been pining for your company ever since you left.”

Sans chuckled, his understanding of the situation needing no words.

“Anyway,” Asgore said, “I should let you go. They’ll only believe I was making special requests for the suite for so long.”

“Not if you tell them it was over additional cots. That was always a thing at Mettaton’s place.”

“So it was!” said Dreemur with his signature belly laugh, “See you soon,”

“See you soon.”

Asgore terminated the call just as Sans heard a confirming beep. The door to the room swung open, and Quinn called out, “Sans? Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” the skeleton called back, “Just had to help some people in my VIP crew make some decisions.”

“You and your kind’s pedantic modern living,” Altair tutted, “My Order is used to sleeping in the roughest conditions, so their accommodations come easy.”

“And you went uphill to school both ways I’m sure,” Sans shot back to Quinn’s laughter, “ Not everyone can be a warrior badass like you.”

“Perhaps not,” Altair said, “But, it’s given me a fighting pedigree like no other.”

“Yeah Sans, you shoulda seen him when we trained with the rest of DLC. He won!”

“I’ve watched all your training. Administrative duty, remember? Everybody’s trained in a way unique to them. , and anyone can take this tournament.”

Altair chuckled, brushing out of the door to Sans’ suite. and to his own, Quinn nervously doing the same.

“Gonna dunk on that dude so hard,” muttered Sans as he flipped on some TV.

**Core Machine Room, 30 minutes from the opening ceremony**

Mario watched the bay of screens intently, ROB stoically stood next to him. What was usually reserved for stages had been flipped to the security camera. He seldom felt the need to watch the cameras, as this was usually ROB’s duty. But this time, he found himself especially interested in it, with the unveiling of the bracket about an hour away. The usual cliques that had developed ever since everyone arrived were nervously chattering amongst each other. The prevailing theme was a nervous uncertainty, mostly speculating about who would fight who. He’d received multiple complaints from his administrative team and the Smashers closest to him that they had been hounded about the bracket after Smash City had opened to the public. He let the regret of not being more open about his plans for the bracket, at least with the other admins register for a second. But, as remembering something Toadsworth had once told him, “The best-kept secret is oft not told to many people,” dissipated the guilt As simple as the saying was. It was true. The safety of the multiverse was his to shoulder alone, here and after. Or, that’s how the Hands had seen it at least.

_They couldn’t have foreseen this, could they?_ Mario wondered aloud.

Beyond the tournament woes, the opening of Smash City had caused his inbox to go berserk. For every big coup against Conker’s villainous faction, another larger problem materialized. Doctors Eggman and Wily had sworn their allegiance to the good guys because Sigma and Nega Eggman had been recruited. The “enemy of my enemy is my friend” had snaked its way down the impending battle lines, nearly affecting every homeworld for every Smasher.

_And the man himself didn’t even show up! Don’t know why I was expecting less from a megalomaniac,_ cursed the leader of the Smashers,

According to ROB’s intelligence network, the Red Squirrel Kingdom’s transportation vessel lacked The King and Queen, but his chief advisors Gruntilda and Wizpig had been aboard along with all of Conker and Diddy’s mutual friends who had sworn allegiance to Conker. They bore a letter that Mario must’ve read a thousand time’s over since ROB’s drones had brought it back to him after landing back at the mansion hours earlier.

_Sorry Mario buddy, gotta skip out on this one. Got way more important plans after this whole tournament thing as I sure you know. Truth is, I coulda shut you down a while ago. Coulda shut you down when The Smash Core landed in my lil kingdom, shoulda shut you down when the damn crocodile blabbed, or when the angel boy vamoosed. Truth is, I admire your little gang, I really do. Makes me nostalgic for when I was young and stupid when I woulda pegged myself as a hero. But then I lost Berri, then I understood all the little things that drive all the wussy villains in your gang. Control, hatred, greed. But unlike them, I ain’t gonna cave. Not now, not ever. And when the history of our collection of worlds is written, I want it to be known I didn’t kneecap ya. I let you have yer fun, let you get all your chess pieces organized, and I still won. If there’s one thing I gotta commend you for Mario, it’s that you’ve shown me that same respect. Lesser leaders woulda just nuked their enemies. But, all that means is I’ll make sure my piss is clear instead of yellow when I marinate your grave in it. Take care pal, and see ya up the road. I’ll be watching (and betting obnoxious amounts of money) with interest!  
  
Love, Conker. _

Mario rubbed his temples and eyes with two fingers.

“ROB,” he asked.

“Yes, Master Mario?”

“Do you think we could’ve set this off if we’d reached out to Conker?”

The sentient machine whirred in thought, then spoke, “For therapy to occur, one must be a willing participant, correct?”

“Yes, but...”

“All one can do is line up the chess pieces based on the problems that arise, Master Mario,”

“Speaking of, is Team F.U.C.K.I.T under observation?”

“Yes, including the one you weren’t sure about.”

“Excellent. Send out the message that we’re all heading out to Smash City.”

“As you wish.”

Grinning as he saw the communicator with the text from ROB that everyone report to Smashcrafts one through four. Then, a second text, sent to him specifically, letting him know he would be aboard Smashcraft 1. Mario sighed deeply. Whether they be countries, planets, or disciplines, 68 were represented within the Smash Brothers roster. Each of these would be grouped into Smashcrafts based upon their order in tonight’s procession. As he was leading the parade of icons along with the first 10 groups, he was on Smashcraft 1 with them.

Exhaling, Mario addressed ROB one more time, “Do I look okay?”

The camera lenses that equated to ROB’s eyes seemed to assess him up and down before the robot spoke, “Yes…your outfit appears to be in order,”

Mario breathed a sigh of relief, “Oh thank the Seven Stars-a! I dug the old white wedding tux outta storage, and I was afraid I’d sweat through white, ya know?”

“You have interrupted me, Master Mario,” ROB continued, “You are missing your suit jacket as well as the hat that accompanies this ensemble,”

“Damn!” cursed the plumber, barely able to stop the instinctual slap to the forehead that his synapses initially demanded.

Mario pivoted on his heel, grabbing his white suit jacket that had been lazily slung over a desk chair, putting that on, and grabbing the white top hat nestled on the base of the chair. The plumber affirmed the dress wear to his head as he walked out the door. ROB ambled behind him, the two admins walking to the main level in silence. Once they passed the threshold, Mario waved to ROB, “See you after tonight!” as he shoved his way to the front of the growing crowd.

**Smashcraft 4, 25 minutes later**

_Duck, weave, duck, jab jab, roll._

Quinn Marmaduke and Little Mac circled each other. As soon as the craft had closed its doors, they had found each other nervously shadowboxing, which had caused Doc Lewis to cajole the two into a no-contact sparring session. Ryu had offered to join in, but Ken had forbidden it, reminding him that it was ‘public appearance time’ Similarly, Cloud and Sephiroth had clashed swords at the One-Winged Angel’s goading about Cloud’s hair being more unkempt than usual, but Shulk had intercepted the two blades with Minado, forbidding horseplay in his own way. Chun-Li did leg stretches. Sans munched popcorn he had procured from seemingly nowhere. Altair and Megaman, as well as Sephiroth and Cloud, who had been shamed into sitting quietly by Shulk, had watched the no contact drills Doc was running the boxer and the Mii through with bemusement.

“WATCH OUT FOR THE…” Shulk shouted.

Mac’s right fist connected directly with Quinn’s stomach, which seemed to simultaneously jaunt his legs out from under him and a short distance into the air. As a result, Quinn more or less belly-flopped onto the metal floor with a mighty _clang._

“..Body blow,” Shulk finished 

“Oooooh,” Chun-Li winced, “You alright?”

Quinn nodded, springing to his feet, pointing an accusing finger at Shulk “Yeah, you coulda warned me with a little more haste though,”

“My little power kicks in at less than opportune moments sometimes, what can I say?” Shulk flippantly shrugged.

“Woah, where did this come from?” Sans asked, “You’ve had a pole up your ass the entire time we’ve been here, and now suddenly you’re Mister Badass?”

Again, the keeper of the Minado shrugged, “ What can I say, tourney time puts me in a different mindset. You’ll find that out when I bop ya one.”

“If I let you,” Sans snapped with a chuckle.

The occupants of the cruiser sat in silence for a few seconds before Shulk’s communicator beeped, “Ah, we’re here. Everyone get in line behind Megaman like we talk about."

Quinn only had time to blink before he felt the craft come to a halt.

“What kind of craft is this?” exclaimed the Mii Brawler, “I didn’t even feel it land.”

“Ah, you know, Smash magic,” Shulk answered with a dismissive wave, “Now let’s get into line please."  
Megaman stood at the bay door of the craft and the line formed. First Mac, then Pacman behind him, humming some sort of rock anthem. Quinn took his place in line next, with Altair behind him, then Sans. The Street Fighter crew took their places behind the skeleton, with Cloud and Sephiroth taking up the rear.

“Alright,” boomed the voice of Shulk, “Smashcraft 4 is ready to unload.”

With that, the bay doors opened, and the line exited the ship, each passenger handed a flag by a Wire Frame attendant. As Quinn cast a quick glance up at his flag, the flag of Wuhu Island, he took in his surroundings. They were clearly in an entrance tunnel, queuing in line to make their way to the field for the procession. However, Quinn hadn’t expected it to be so noisy. The soft jazz that played over the stadium’s speakers was tunneling down to them, and the acoustics of the space amplified every conversation.

“Hey, does anybody wanna hold my flag for a hundred bucks?” Sans was asking the conglomerate.

“Hey Ryu, does this song sound familiar to you?” Ken asked.

“Yes, from Gambit and Rogue’s wedding if I remember correctly.”

“What was the name of it?”

“Make Way for Tomorrow Today. That I’ll never forget because you kept singing it on the way home, and just that accursed refrain.”

Quinn breathed deep, cutting out all the noise. He had to, lest he lose his sanity completely. Suddenly, he could hear Mario’s voice above all the other drabble.

_No, literally above_ , Quinn realized.

Sure enough, a drone barking instructions in Mario’s voice flew overhead. They seemed generic as the drone passed over him. It seemed that way for a while still, until Quinn heard Mario shout, “WHERE ARE THE PHANTOM THIEVES?”

“I don’t know,” came the barely audible voice of Goro Akechi from behind Quinn, “They made a big fuss about standing behind me in line, and then as soon as we got off the craft, they were gone.

“ROB can you track them?”

“Yes,” came the voice of ROB from the drone, “They’re heading up to the production booth.”

“Seven Stars sake,” came Mario’s words through audible annoyance, prompting suppressed laughter from some, “They’d better be something up to something suitably cool.” 

**Smash Stadium**

**“Persona Series” section**

_Maybe I shoulda taken up the VIP booth offer._

Sojiro Sakura sat in his seat in the impossible expanse that was Smash Stadium, in a section dubbed “Persona Series”, Futaba had attempted to explain the odd naming convention upon his arrival, that it had to do with how some higher power saw the world in which they all lived. A spiritual, yet not exactly religious man, Sojiro had no interest in what some deity thought of “his world,” all that mattered was that he had been tapped to open up a Le Blanc pop-up when Ren and Futaba had been tapped to join…whatever the hell this was, and that, he was told was practically a license to print money, owning a much-ballyhooed pop up in a city of hundreds of billions.

The other thing he had no interest in was using this vacation/networking venture to drudge up old neighborhood politics. With Takemi and Iwai sharing the VIP booth with him, as well as some of the other non-Phantom Thieves in Ren’s life, he would have to engage in small talk, something he wasn’t particularly interested in doing off the clock. So, he’d asked Futaba to sub out his VIP booth for a regular seat. What the coffee-making master had not anticipated, however, was how long it had been since he’d been a spectator in a stadium. And just how _god damn noisy_ it all was.

Examining the red piece of construction paper he’d been given upon entering, then looking out the tunnel that he assumed the fighters would come out of, and the stage some feet away, the old man began to muse to himself, “Well, Futaba did say seating was only assigned for one night, as to encourage fraternization between people from different places after all. And after all, my boy Ren is a Smasher, I’m sure I could schmooze my way back into VIP if I wanted to. I can put up with this for one night.”

No sooner had the words left his lips, the smooth jazz track that had been on loop since he had entered the giga-venue was suddenly replaced with a techno blaring techno track, the style of which Sojiro remembered being popular 15 years ago on the streets of Shibuya, and quite frankly, not something he was a fan of.

**“THIS IS _THE_ DREAM EVENT! ONE WRONG MOVE, AND YOUR FAVORITE SMASHER JUST MIGHT _LOOOSE,”_** A natively Japanese announcer speaking English declared.

Sojiro felt his eye twitch at the last word, which sounded like a failing robot.

“Me ‘an my big mouth,” cursed the Hierophant, “I’d go out for a smoke, but I might not ever find my seat again.”

**“THE WINNER OF THIS TOURNAMENT IS THE ULTIMATE SMASHER! ANY COMBATANT COULD WIN THE TOURNAMENT! ONLY A SMASHER WITH ABILITY, GUTS, AND STRENGTH, CAN WIN THE TOURNAMENT! ARE YOU READY TO GET IT ON?”** The announcer concluded.  
As the techno beat hammered on, Sojiro could hear a particularly loud smattering of noise from the section he’d almost walked into while trying to find his seat, the “King of Fighters Series” section. The noise of this section had reminded him of a few instances where international soccer hooligans had wreaked havoc by being idiots on the streets of Shibuya. The only difference was that what he could see of the enormous section were sporting red hats bearing the logo of a man named “Terry”, howling what Sojiro had assumed to be the catchphrases of this lunatic, including such gems as “BUSTAH WOLF” “ARE YOU OKAY?” and most perplexing of all, “WHEN TERRY?”

Sojiro felt feelings of Wakaba creep up, remembering how not judging too harshly and looking beyond initial impressions allowed him to connect with one of the most fantastic women he’d ever met. Maybe things were just different in their world, he reasoned. He found himself chuckling, “Their world like they’re little green men or something.”

“I know man!” barked the exuberantly drunk American next to him.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow, “Where have you been getting beer?”

“Tablet,” the man shouted, doing a big, sweeping gesture to the seat in front of him, “It’s in the seat pocket in front of ya!”

Sojiro reached into the leather tablet case behind him. Turning it on, he was greeted with the menu. It had automatically been curated to the “Persona Series” menu. Scrolling down briefly it indicated food that he was familiar with. Out of curiosity, he clicked the “Metroid Series” menu. It appeared that most of the food was either dried or in pill form, like something out of the pulp novels that were popular in his youth.

 _Different strokes for different folks I guess,_ shrugged the coffee man, _Couldn’t hurt to expand my palette while I’m here,_ he thought.

Just as he thought this, the house lights went down, and the techno music faded out. On the veritable monolith of video screens that expanded out from the center of the arena, two black lines blazed through a white circle, making an off-center crosshair logo. Despite being a logo that Sojiro, and by extension everyone else, had seen practically everywhere as they settled in Smash City, the stadium erupted. Sojiro couldn’t help but grin despite his aversion to such noise.

 _Damn, I guess these Smash Brothers, whatever they are, mean a lot to everybody,_ pondered Sojiro.

**“AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, THE MANY NATIONS, DISCIPLINES, AND IDEAS THAT SHAPE THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS,”**

Sojiro’s ears perked up as the next musical piece began. John Williams Olympic march.

 **“INTRODUCING FIRST REPRESENTING THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM, MARIO, WHO IS ALSO CHAMPION OF THE TWELVE AND PRINCESS PEACH.** “

As the stadium once again erupted, and the camera focused on Mario, carrying a flag bearing a mushroom with eyes, Sojiro felt his heart leap. He may be an old fart, at least in the eyes of his two wards, but he knew who _Mario_ was at least. As the implication of a video game character standing in his vicinity in the flesh crept in, Sojiro’s jaw went agape.

“Wait, is this a video game thing? Are we a video game?” he announced to no one in particular, 

_Remind me to give Futaba shit for not telling me Ren might fight freakin’ Mario later,_ he thought as he saw people near him visibly snickering.

Sojiro was so struck dumb with realization and embarrassment he missed the next few entrances. The guy that you played as when you got the second controller in Mario came out with some brunette version of Peach, holding a flag with a strange floral design on it. They represented some kingdom that would’ve been impossible to pronounce in Japanese. As Le Blanc’s owner made a mental note to ask Futaba for the Japanese translation, Sojiro was briefly stirred by the mostly hostile reaction that marked the appearance of Mario’s sworn enemy, who he knew as Koopa, but was called Bowser here for some reason.

_Another one for the ever-growing list of questions to ask Futaba._

As Sojiro chuckled at the fact that Bowser had seemingly brought his kids and a carnivorous sentient plant with him, the announcer moved on.

**“REPRESENTING THE RARE ARCHIPELAGO, DONKEY KONG, DIDDY KONG, KING KARNIVEROUS ROOL, AND THE DYNAMIC DUO OF BANJO AND KAZOOIE!”**

As the next throng of combatants made their way out with an odd golden ‘R’ symbol on their flag, the drunk man next to him shouted, “SO THAT’S WHAT THE ‘K’ STANDS FOR!”

For the first time since they took their seats, Sojiro turned to him, “You sound like you know your stuff?”

“You know it! I’m a huge gamer, have been since I was a kid.”

“So’s my daughter, but I don’t understand half the stuff,” Sojiro chuckled lightly.

As the arena applauded the next contingent, Yoshi representing Yoshi Island, and Wario perplexingly representing his company, Warioware Inc, Sojiro asked the man, “Uh, something I’ve been hung up on, since when does Donkey Kong wear a tie?”

Mister Drunk laughed, “Since like 1994, get a clue, old man!”

“Fair enough,” Sojiro grumbled, crossing his arms and sitting back further in his seat.

Sufficiently embarrassed, Sojiro sat in silence for the next few parts of the parade. Someone named Rosalina represented a place called The Cosmic Observatory. The thought crossed his mind to ask Mister Drunk if she was an astrologist or something, but the man’s response to his earlier question curbed that thought almost immediately. The next part of the procession got the biggest reaction since Mario appeared, The Kingdom of Hyrule. Sojiro recognized the name Hyrule, and he recognized Link and Zelda, but he couldn’t remember from where. He also observed Toon Link accompanying the elven looking warrior and princess, having seen art from somewhere that depicted Link as a young boy. Was he a boy? Was he a man?

 _Probably some sci-fi time travel crap,_ he concluded.

**“REPRESENTING HYRULR OF THE FUTURE, TOON LINK!”**

_Called it._

Sojiro suppressed a laugh as the little boy came out with his flag, whose only difference to the golden triangled Hyrule flag was the presence of what appeared to be water on the bottom of the flag. He looked like something straight out of a cartoon.

“Something tells me it only gets weirder from here,” chided Sojiro to his drunk seat neighbor, who was too engrossed in yet another cup of drone-delivered beer to say anything.

**“REPRESENTING THE GERUDO TRIBE, GANONDORF”**

More boos erupted as a grey-skinned man appeared, his flag bearing some sort of squiggling design he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Much like Link and Zelda, Sojiro vaguely recalled a villain named Ganon, but in his mind’s eye, that conjured to mind images of a blue pigman. Again, Sojiro opened his mouth to ask the drunk man, but he figured it might cause something similar to the DK faux pas from earlier.

Sojiro tried to clear his mind as the next few representatives made their appearances, Samus and Captain Falcon representing the ever-so vaguely named Galactic Federation. The Brawl Champion (whatever that meant) Kirby, along with King Dedede and Meta-Knight represented a place called Dreamland, while a black-suited version of Samus named Dark Samus and an ugly dragon guy named Ridley represented The Space Pirate Conglomerate.

 _Remind me to give those guys a 20 percent discount at least,_ Sojiro shuddered to himself, not even wanting to begin to imagine what people like that could do to his humble little popup.

Fox, Falco, and Wolf came out next, representing the Lylat System. As had been done with Samus and Captain Falcon’s entrance earlier, the throng of space ships that seemed to linger above the stadium at all times shot off a quick, yet impactful burst of fireworks. As the audience ‘ooohed’ in delight, Sojiro made yet another mental note to see if Ren or Futaba could get him on one of those. He had heard some sort of animal-hu talking about how absurdly luxurious the floating yachts were, and he wanted to see for himself.

 _Wait, didn’t Haru say she had one set aside for Okumura Foods employees? Maybe that'll be easier than I thought,_ he once again thought to himself as the fighter Krystal came out, at the cue of the announcer as all the others had, representing a place called Cernia, to more raucous boos from somewhere in the stadium than even Bowser or Ganondorf had gotten. Chants of “Trait-or, Trait-or,” and “Ly-lat, Ly-lat,” rang thick through the air amongst the boos. Sojiro glanced up at the video screen. The blue fox woman had a deep frown on her face, her eyes betraying…sadness?

Sojiro felt a pang of guilt, despite not having participated in the chants himself. Second-hand guilt perhaps? Either way, there was obviously much more to the story than those booing her were accounting for.

**“REPRESENTING THE KANTO REGION OF THE POKEMON WORLD, FORMER LEAGUE CHAMPION RED ALONG WITH HIS TEAM SQURTILE, IVYSAUR, AND CHARIZARD. ENTERING TRAINERLESS ALSO FROM KANTO ARE PIKACHU, JIGGLYPUFF, AND MEWTWO.”**

That perked Sojiro up. _This_ was something he knew. One of Futaba’s greatest loves was Pokemon, and, whenever they had spoken after her awakening, it had been in part about Pokemon. As it combined her love for anime and video games, he was intimately familiar with this segment of the parading fighters. From the Kanto brigade to Pichu in Johto (which, got a shockingly big response from the crowd, as this was its first return since an early tournament), Lucario in Sinnoh, Kalos’ Greninja, Alola’s Incineroar, to Galar’s Pokemon Trainer Green, Sojiro found himself applauding them all and judging by the applause of the crowd, he wasn’t alone in this respect for the Pokemon crowd. As much as he hated to admit it, his interest waned with the next few. Eagleland’s Ness and Tazmilly villages Lucas were seemingly ordinary young kids, despite their heads being larger than he’d expected, as well as their somewhat off-putting all-black eyes. New Pork’s City’s Porky looked interesting.

_Heh, if Futaba’s animes have taught me anything, always count on the mecha robot._

The near-unanimous ovation of the Nakatsuka Tribe’s Ice Climbers got caught the coffee master off guard. Like Pichu, he assumed, they were returning from a long absence. The man sitting in front of him, a mulleted American man, stood up, attempting to start a “Not dead last” chant, realizing that his attempt at a chant was drowned out by the raucous cheers, and sitting back down. Sojiro struggled to keep from outright laughing at the man in front of him as the announcer heralded the coming of the next few nations to be represented in this tournament. Saki of Ruffian Earth, Prince Marth of Altea, Melee’s champion, Roy of Pherae, Chrom, Robin, and Lucina, the royal families of Ylisse. Briefly taken out of his concentration by a young girl in the expanse of the stadium screaming, “CHROM GETS HIS CHANCE!” Sojiro focused back in.

Ike of Crimea, Corrin of the Nohr/Hoshido Commonwealth, and Edelgard of the Adestrian Empire, who had a strange gothic-looking man carrying her flag while she did her best royal wave, were next.

“Geez, how many of these anime swordsmen _are_ there?” Sojiro announced to himself.

Mister Drunk blew a drunken raspberry at the question, whereas Mullet Man snickered so loudly Sojiro could hear him even amongst all the stadium noise.

**“REPRESENTING FLAT ZONE, MISTER GAME AND WATCH”**

For the first time, Sojiro felt a childish glee overcome him as the little two-dimensional man ambled out, carrying a paper-thin, all-black flag. Sojiro’s mind was cast back to his days as a rookie government agent, pining after a Game and Watch to play as he commuted to work every day on the trains in Tokyo, but the devices always being out of range of his budget, being frugal even then.

As those initial nostalgic feelings faded, he felt himself hovering back into neutral. Pit, Dark Pit, and Palutena represented Skyworld, with the latter, a green-haired goddess, carrying the flag, with two angels, one clad in white, and another in black, marching behind her. Snake, representing not a nation, but an organization called FOXHOUND, which briefly piqued Sojiro’s interest as it sounded like a secret military installation, Olimar representing Hocotate Corp, ROB the robot representing Subspace, whatever that was, Villager, Isabelle, Otis, and Mikey representing a place called Smashville, Miss Trainer represented Wii Fit, which Sojiro recalled in name only, having fleetingly considered buying it for Futaba, but deciding against it. Next was Megaman, representing the nonsense-sounding time period of 200X. Little Mac, and the World Video Boxing Association he and the man carrying the flag Doc Louis represented set off a pang of familiarity with Sojiro, as he vaguely remembered playing Punch-Out with Wakaba in a bar once. Pac-Land’s Pacman brought Sojiro joy like Mister Game and Watch’s appearance had. As Sojiro saw the yellow gaming icon walk out of the tunnel and join the others on the stage, planting his flag in the holder behind him, Sojiro caught himself recalling if the little guy had ever had hands and feet. Sojiro batted those thoughts away with a shake of his head.

 _That’s the old man in me talking for sure,_ he thought.

Shulk representing Colony 9 and Quinn from Wuhu Island was next. Altair, representing The Assassination State of Masyaf briefly caught Sojiro’s attention, making a mental note to put him and his entire state on the “give a discount to avoid getting roughed up in an alley,” list. The name of the skeleton representing something called The Human Monster Alliance, Sans rang a bell. He briefly recalled Futaba and Ren discussing it over a Skype call very late one night, something about the minor details of getting a certain ending, but that was it.

**“REPRESENTING THE ANTSASATSUKEN MARTIAL ARTS DISCIPLINE, RYU, AND KEN!”**

“Them?” came the burst of curiosity from Sojiro.

“Whaddya mean?” asked the drunk man.

“I just…remember when these guys were all the rage in arcades, but this was before my daughter was born, so I had no interest in it.”

Drunk Man scoffed condescendingly, “Old man,”

Sojiro couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Chun-Li, representing her universe’s idea of China, was introduced. After the applause had died down, the next group, the Duel tournament’s champion Cloud and Sephiroth representing Gaia, were introduced. Sojiro was hit with a flash of nostalgia from the mid-2000s. An animated movie based on their universe had come out then, and Sojiro recalled feeling like he couldn’t go out there without seeing these brooding swordsmen on a poster of some description. As Sojiro came to grips with the fact that something that engulfing and annoying now stood as an emblem of simpler, happier times. Bayonetta of the Umbra Witch Clan and Inkopolis’ own Torri Gachi were introduced.

 _Another duo for the discount list_ he thought, _Wouldn’t wanna piss off a witch or a kid with a Super Soaker._

The Belmont Clan’s representatives were listed next, with a muscular blond carrying a flag with a European looking family crest on it. This one cast an even more vague memory than Little Mac had. Perhaps he had _seen_ a game starring them in the hallowed halls of a video arcade, but whether or not he had played with Wakaba was lost to time. What followed was a break in the procession, one so noticeable that the audience around him began to murmur in confusion. Sojiro reckoned it was only a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity, looking at an empty entrance tunnel, and a stage of Smashers already as confused.

**“REPRESENTING THE KINGDOM OF ALIHAN, ERDRICK!”**

As Erdrick appeared through the tunnel with his nation’s flag held above him, Sojiro asked the drunk man, “Is he, from Dragon Quest?”

“Yeah, why?” the man next to him slurred.

Sojiro laughed, “I remember when the first game came out, and there were rumblings that they’d have to pass a law demanding that the games come out on weekends so people wouldn’t call in sick.”

“Was that a thing? I thought it wasn’t real?”

Again, Sojiro Sakura laughed, “ I don’t know if it ever went into law or anything, but it was office gossip back when the first one hit stores.”

“Woah, that’s pretty interesting,” he slurred.

Sojiro smirked, _Huh, no nerdy contempt this time. Maybe I’m breaking through to this kid, after all,_ he thought.

**“REPRESENTING SOUTHTOWN, TERRY BOGARD!”**

“WHEN TERRY?” what Sojiro surmised to be half of the fabled King of Fighters section asked.

“ALL NIGHT LONG!” responded the other half.

“WHEN TERRY?”  
“ALL NIGHT LONG?”  
“WHEN TERRY?”

“ALL NIGHT LONG?”

The King of Fighters’ section chanting eventually died down but had it lasted a second longer, it would’ve drowned out the next participant.

**“REPRESENTING MOMENTOS, THE LEADER OF THE PHANTOM…OH I’M SORRY. REPRESENTING MOMENTOS, GORO AKECHI!”**

The Persona Series Section of Smash Stadium erupted, not unlike every other section when their representative appeared, but it was a much more mixed, visceral reaction. Anger, happiness, shock confusion, annoyance.

“Goro Akechi is alive?” Sojiro shouted, “How?”

“HEY! WHERE ARE THE PHANTOM THIEVES!” Sojiro heard Mister Drunk shout.

“I’m sure they have somethin’ planned,” Sojiro tried to comfort his neighbor over the noise but to no avail.

The rest of the Smashers made their entrances amid the aftermath of Akechi’s appearance, amid confused clamoring from the Persona Series section that was so loud Sojiro had to strain to hear the rest. Cuphead’s Inkwell Isle, Yoshimitsu’s Manji Ninja Clan, The G-Corporation, represented by its figurehead, Jin Kazama, The Earth Federation, and United Earth Government represented by Bill Rizer and Master Chief respectively.

“Hey, ain’t that kind of the same thing?” Sojiro asked no one in particular, as his two new American friends had reacted raucously to Master Chief.

“I think they’re from different places, but there are only so many ways you can name your one planet government,” mused the man with the mullet in front of him.

Sojiro chuckled in what he hoped the man in front of him took as agreement as Jak and Daxter were announced representing Sandover Village, and the duo of Ratchet and Clank representing Veldin. What was it? A planet? A galaxy? Sojiro supposed that was one final question to ask Futaba as the raccoon humanoid bearing the flag of what was announced as The Cooper Clan made his entrance a pink hippo humanoid and a green turtle humanoid at his side. The two men that entered next, Dante and Vergil, representing the Devil Kingdom, Sojiro knew well, having to practically tear away Futaba from her PC after many absurdly late-night gaming sessions featuring the two. As he had with so many others, he felt a pang of a vague recollection from younger days when Ryu Hayabusa proceeded to the stage wearing the flag of the Hayabusa Clan. Sojiro was once again hit with memories of coaxing Futaba to go to bed when Travis Touchdown, representing Santa Destroy, appeared next, followed by The River City Girls, representing Crosstown, and Subject Zero, the bathrobed samurai carrying a flag representing the city of New Mecca. As soon as Subject Zero latched his flag into place along with the sixty-eight other flags. As he did, taking his place in the lineup of Smashers, to which the flags served as a backdrop, the Olympic March, which had been looping for the entire procession, stopped. Then, the spotlights shining all over the crowd shut off. Then, the stage lights illuminating the walkway. Then the stage itself. The video screens, which were once displaying the Super Smash Brothers logo, now displayed a new one, a masquerade masked man wearing a red top hat and sporting an eye of white flame, with the words “TAKE YOUR HEART” underneath it.

His section erupted in cheers, but Sojiro could only grin in the darkness.

_And there it is,_ thought the old man, now beaming with pride.

As a funk instrumental began, the intentionally distorted, yet, unmistakable voice of Ryuji cried out “YO! WHAT IS UP EVERYBODY!”

As he did, a spotlight from somewhere in the stadium illuminated one of the Phantom Thieves, the mystery figure now visible as he made his way down from the section directly across from there’s, the mystery figure making his way down the stairs. The brisk pace that the jumbotron caught him moving it made it clear to Sojiro that it was Ryuji

“We are the ones you all know as The Phantom Thieves,” said a mishmash of some of the other Phantom Thieves voices.

Three spotlights this time, shining on three different mystery figures in all different sections of the stadium. Sojiro could barely contain a raucous cheer when he saw the all-too-recognizable form of Futaba standing lazily on the stairs. Haru and Yusuke were also in different sections, making their way down to the stage.

“We would like to inform you that we are to fight injustice in the multiverse wherever it may roam,” came the unmistakable voice of Makoto, a light shining on her as she began her descent.

“At least, that’s why _we’re_ here,” Ann’s voice rang next as a spotlight shined on her near the front row. , “Our leader is going to take this tournament, and prove why The Phantom Thieves are the best warriors in the multi-verse. Isn’t that right leader?”

All the spotlights turned off, the light shining on the stage next. Standing side by side were The Phantom Thieves, with Morgana perched on Joker’s shoulder.

“Yes,” declared Joker in usual dulcet tone, “As I took back my country from oppression, I will take this tournament.”

As the entire stadium erupted in cheers, the spotlight clicked off again. When the lights, and the Olympic March, resumed, Joker stood in his place next to Akechi, the other Thieves having disappeared.

Sojiro laughed, “That’s my boy,”

**On stage**

The leftover cheers from the crowd and the mixture of annoyed and pleased chattering from the Smashers after Joker’s flashy entrance was enough to cause complete mental overload. Just as Quinn pondered if it would be in bad form to meditate right there, in front of the entire multiverse, Mario stepped up to the podium, championship belt slung over his shoulder.

“It is my honor to welcome you all to The Ultimate Smash Tournament!”

Mario paused to let the crowd cheer. When it died down, he continued.

“As well as a Smasher, I am now the president of the Super Smash Brothers organization. Typically The Hands served as co-chairs. However, as-a some of you know an incident with this dimension’s power source, The Smash Core, robbed them of seeing another tournament take place. In utilizing the plans they had left behind for us, I sought to create a Smash Brothers Tournament that they would be proud of. It took some deliberation, but I believe I have found a way to conduct this tournament.”

Mario paused for a second to let the audience mutter amongst itself, “In previous years, we would assign each Smasher a number, sometimes based on complete random or, sometimes, in the cases of The 12 and Duel, based on multi-participant preliminary matches. But, this year, I have designed a system that will, once and for all, determine not only who is the best among the 100 of us, but of each recruitment class. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the bracket to Super Smash Brothers Ultimate!”

Each enormous jumbotron flared to life, scrolling through the bracket. Simultaneously, the bracket became available on every tablet in the stadium.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

ROUND 1: TWO STOCKS, ITEM FREQUENCY MEDIUM, STAGES DECIDED BY COIN FLIP

Mario vs. Donkey Kong

Link vs Samus

Dark Samus vs Yoshi

Kirby vs Fox

Pikachu vs Luigi

Ness vs Falcon

Jigglypuff vs Peach

Daisy vs Bowser

Ice Climbers vs Saki

Zelda vs Dr.Mario

Pichu vs Falco

Marth vs Lucina

Young Link vs Ganondorf

Mewtwo vs Roy  
  


Chrom vs Mr.Game and Watch

Meta Knight vs Pit

Dark Pit vs. Green  
Wario vs Snake

Ike vs Red

Diddy Kong vs Lucas

Sonic vs King Dedede

Olimar vs Lucario

ROB vs Toon Link

Wolf vs Villager

Wii Fit Trainer vs Megaman

Little Mac vs Rosalina and Luma

Greninja vs Quinn

Altair vs Sans

Palutena vs Pac-Man

Shulk vs Robin

Bowser Jr/Koopalings vs Duck Hunt

Ryu vs Ken

Corrin vs Cloud

Bayonetta vs Torri Gachi

Ridley vs Simon  
King K. Rool vs Richter

Incineroar vs Isabelle

Joker vs Piranha Plant  


Erdrick vs Banjo Kazooie  
Terry Bogard vs Edelgard

Porky vs Goro Akechi

Cuphead vs Yoshimitsu

Sephiroth vs Team Chaotix

Jin Kazama vs Bill Rizer

Master Chief vs Chun-Li

Jak and Daxter vs Ratchet and Clank

Dante vs Sly Cooper

Ryu Hayabusa vs Vergil

Travis Touchdown vs River City Girls

Subject Zero vs. Krystal

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Mario smugly shot a look over his shoulder as once again, the entire stadium roared in anticipation. Aside from some of the more uncouth Smashers, who were already shouting at their opponents, the rest of the Smashers silently looked in the general direction of their opponents.

“As you can see, each Smasher has been subdivided in the order that they were recruited. Some echo fighters have been paired with their echo in the first round so that they can determine who is the best among them, while some have been grouped so that potential second-round matches will build maximum drama and entertainment. The mixing up of things aside I’ve done aside, the goal of the tournament overall-a, is to determine who in each recruiting class is the best, as well as which among us is the very best. Smashers, just remember, 100 of you represent 68 nations, ideas, and disciplines. In this tournament, you will fight for what you represent. You will fight to prove that the generation you represent-a in this-a glorious institution is the best. Above all, you will fight to prove that you, and you alone are Undisputed Champion of Smash. With that said, champions, please forfeit your belts.”

As the crowd in the stands and the Smashers on stage murmured amongst themselves, Kirby, Cloud, and Roy stepped forward, nestling their championship belts into a pile on the center of the stage, Mario briefly stepping away from the podium to discard his.

“Now, the rewards of victory in this tournament are not all-a philosophical. As each Smasher progresses through the tournament, they have a chance to incrementally double the money they make, each Smasher starting at one million Smash coins. The goal, obviously-a, is to win. Not only will the winner of the tournament walk away with these five beautiful championship belts, and the 128 million smash coins, as the prize money doubles over six rounds, but they get the remainder of the money Smash City makes in revenue.”

The crowd erupted in cheers, as did most of the Smashers.

“Now, I can imagine that Smashers and spectators alike are wondering how this will work. The tournament begins tomorrow at noon. The deeper we get into the tournament, the more days in between each round there will be. After the first round, there will be a one day break, after the second round, a two-day break, and so on. The only deviation in-a this will be a day to train for something special we’re doing for the semi-finals. This will not only give our Smashers incrementally longer time to train, but it gives everyone, Smashers and Spectators alike time to enjoy the sights and sounds of Smash City. The night after the finals, we will have closing ceremonies and depart back to our homes. This amounts, in total, to 37 days. 37 days to trade, play, learn, meet new people, and try new things. This is the dictionary definition of unity. Therefore, it is the dictionary definition of our order, The Super Smash Brothers.”

Mario paused, to let the crowd applaud, moving onto his next point.

“Now, before we end the festivities for the night, there are a couple of things I want to do. First, if we could randomly select the match that will kick off things tomorrow.”

The screen showed the bracket being flipped through at lightning speed, each Smashers’ pictures appearing and disappearing before anyone could blink. With a confirming ping, the randomizer settled on the first match.

“Our first match will be Ryu vs Ken!” Mario announced to the cheers of the crowd.

As the camera drones focused in briefly on Ryu and Ken, as they fist-bumped in recognition, Mario continued, “Now, to conclude the festivities, if you all could hold your colored paper up to the sky on three, two, one!” the leader of the Smashers counted down.

In a flash, each section was enveloped by the logo of the Smashers they represented. Camera drones floated around each section, showing the enormous multi-colored logos before concluding flying back to their neutral positions.

“Now that’s what I call unity,” Mario sighed happily, turning to the screen to watch the camera widen to reveal all of the Smashers’ logos all together within the enormous stadium.

Mario cleared his throat, “Sentient creatures of all kinds. I wish you a good night. Party, rest, whatever it is you wish. All we, the competitors and staff who put this monolithic, can ask if that you join us tomorrow for the tournament-a!” he concluded.

With that, Mario opened a portal to the Mansion dining hall, the rest of the Smashers following suit. As soon as the last Smasher stepped through the portal, it closed, the cheers of the crowd cutting off behind them. In front of them, upon an enormous dining room table, a feast was spread out among them, with nearly any kind of food one could imagine. As if the senses of the Smashers weren’t overwhelmed enough. The Phantom Thieves that weren’t Joker appeared before the group.

“Wah!” shrieked Futaba, “All that work trying to get everyone ported to the Smashcraft, for nothing.”

“I…don’t like the idea of being teleported without my permission,” shakily admitted Yusuke, to which Ryuji nodded in agreement.

“Sorry everyone-a, I couldn’t risk you guys-a running off again, even though that was cool as hell.”

“I mean, lame, but thanks,” scoffed Ann.

Mario suppressed a laugh before clearing his throat, “Alright folks, so we’re finalizing movesets tomorrow morning, as well as filming general interviews and match promos, so be ready to get up bright and early tomorrow.”

“Seven-a starrrs,” Wario whined, “Can we just have freakin’ dinner?"

Mario put a hand to his chin in thought, “Ya know what Wario? You’re right.” Enough of dat lame business crap for tonight. Let us _mangiare_.”

**Hours later**

“So after me ‘an Peach spend the night together for the first time, I figure I’mma cook some bacon, cause wakin’ up-a to breakfast is romantic right?”

Mario paused to let the snickers roll in. Sonic, Ken, Luigi, Daisy, Dante, Snake, and Peach all sat around the table. Most of the Smashers had gone to bed, but this group had stayed up late into the night, enjoying several glasses of after-dinner wine. He and Peach were holding hands, and her cheeks were tomato red with embarrassment, which indicated he was telling the story well.

“But I don’t-a feel like putting on clothes, cause the sooner we get to the bacon the better. I find the kitchen easy enough, start cookin’, and who should walk in on-a me but Toadsworth, the old fella who’s basically Peach’s father.”

The group erupted into laughter.

“Oh God,” Ken sighed, “I’ve had some pretty powerful people find me in some pretty embarrassing situations, but I can’t say I’ve ever had a king walk in on me naked.”

“OH MY GAWD!” hollered Daisy, “I can see the look on his face,”

“Same,” Luigi said after his laughter had calmed down, “You always told me that that happened-a, but you never told me-a what happened after.”

“Nothin’ worth reporting. He just kinda, stared me down until I finally left to get a bathrobe,”

“Well yes Mario, you were in his kitchen naked,” Peach rebuffed.

“Like you’ve never...” Mario began, but trailed off as he thought about it more, “Nevermind,”

Another round of laughter befell the group before Ken spoke up, “Hey Mario, gotta ask you something so I can sleep tonight,” he said, throwing back the remainder of his cup of wine.

“What’s up?”

“How’d you get the rights to the Olympic March? I tried to suggest something similar for a Street Fighter tournament, and logistics got back to me and said it would be too expensive even for the tournament organizer.”

“Ken, m’boy, let me give you some advice,” Mario said as smoothly as his tipsy self could muster, “Sometimes it ain’t about money. Sometimes a well-thought-out present-a will do.”

“The hell did you get him?”

“Some Henri IV Dudognon Heritage. Asked around and found out that was his sought-after bottle of Cognac.”

“Damn,” was all Ken could say, “And he gave you it in exchange?”

Mario nodded, “Yessir, plus he loved the Olympic work me an’ Sonic were doing, but somebody,” Mario suddenly turned towards Sonic, “Almost ruined the deal,”

Sonic shrugged, “Man, we coulda gotten the rights to the Star Wars theme if you’d just listened to me,”

“And I told you, you don’t get greedy when you’re across the negotiation table with John Williams. Then again, gettin’ greedy lost you a couple of metals didn’t it?”

Sonic scoffed, “Man, I’m not having this conversation with your wine-drunk ass, I’m going to bed.”

“Au revoir Silver Medalist the Hedgehog,” Mario called with a wave, causing Peach to cover her mouth to giggle.

As Sonic sped away, Ken yawned, “Man I gotta turn in too.”

The rest of the table murmured agreement, wishing one another goodnight and departing. Only Mario and Peach remained. The couple sat in silence before Peach sighed, “Another year, another tournament.”

“You nervous?” Mario asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

Peach rubbed her chin in thought, “It’s complicated. Of course, I trained hard, but I never thought I would be facing Daisy so early. I’m afraid that if I go up against her I won’t be at my best.”

“I mean, you did beat Wario last time. Love Jigglypuff to death, but she’s never made it past round 1. And when it comes to Daisy, you and her have gone about even in every other sport we’ve done.”

“Right,” Peach nodded, “But do you think I have it in me to defeat her?”

Mario shrugged, “I mean, with that motivation, you do I think. Daisy’s so naturally gifted at everything that she skates by on a lot, especially if she makes the conscious decision that she’s there to have fun, and I definitely think she’s riding the high of being able to get up to hanky panky with Luigi.”

“Why am I constantly surprised by your tactical mind Mario Mario?” teased a giggling Peach.

“I’ve always been like this, ever since I fixed my first toilet with money on the line!”

“Oh has it?” Peach teased.

“Always be aware of your surroundings and anticipate what might happen next. It’s the first rule of plumbing babygirl, ya gotta be looking for chinks in the pipe an’ ya gotta remember all the configurations.”

“ _Babygirl?”_ Peach balked, “I don’t quite remember you talking like a street urchin the last time you were intoxicated.”

“What can I say? I set up this tournament with so little issue, all this money and good vibes are gonna be flowing, and I’m gonna be riding high with my best girl.” Mario explained, squeezing Peach’s hand.

Peach smiled, “Not quite the poetry this princess is used to, but I’ll take it. So what do you say Mario, to bed?”

“To bed,” the plumber agreed with a nod.

And so, hand in hand, plumber and princess headed towards the uncertainties of tomorrow, for when they awoke, the tournament could finally begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that friends, we are TOURNAMENT BOUND! Special thanks for Mister DeBob for inspiring the Sojiro sequences with "The New Regulars," to SSP for encouraging me along (Discord link in the ole profile-ski, join us!) and thanks to the many readers across FF.net and AO3 for making this all possible! See you next time!


	40. Round 1: Ryu vs Ken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ultimate Tournament kicks off in a big way, with two masters of the Antsatsuken Discipline going head to head. It's Ryu vs Ken.

**Round 1: Ryu vs. Ken**

**Smash Mansion: Sunrise**

The first few hours of the day had gone by in a blur for Quinn. Wake up, throw on fighting gear, eat yet another Power Pellet breakfast, and now, he was in line. Luckily, because he was placed among the veterans in line, the line seemed to be advancing at quite a steady pace. Unluckily, Greninja, his first-round opponent was in front of him. The ninja frog seemed indifferent to him but had rebuffed all of his attempts at small talk. That meant that he had two things to things to listen to as he idled about in the 100-person single-file line, the polite murmurs of people in front of him, and the entirely-too-loud conversation Sans and Palutena were having with just one person, the stoic Altair in between them. Quinn had thought about interjecting, but participating in a conversation meant knowing what they were talking about, which Quinn could not attest to. Sans had begun the conversation with, “Hey, wanna break the fourth wall for a bit?”

Thus had begun a barrage of names, places, and inside jokes, Quinn had no context for. The fact that Altair hadn’t stabbed either of them with a hidden blade was shocking, and, as an intrusive thought of Quinn’s dictated, unwelcome at this point. Luckily, before he knew it, Greninja was next to enter the conference room that they were all queuing up to enter. As the Pokemon entered, Quinn tried to focus, and listen to what was being said. But, between the heavy door and Greninja’s thick accent, everything was rhubarb. Quinn sighed defeatedly, leaning back slightly and crossing his arms.

“You worry too much Marmaduke,” growled Altair.

Quinn blinked. Occasionally Altair would blindside him with these quips in a harsh tone. The tricky thing for Quinn to parse was the fact that he spoke in the same way to Sans, who deeply annoyed him. So, while Quinn thought he knew what Altair and the absence of these things in his own behavior meant the harshness was meant to be in a mentor/student kind of way, what if he _had_ done something to annoy the assassin.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I speak of _that_ nonsense,” Altair spat, “You take an inordinately long time to answer people because you’re at war with yourself, and what others think of you. It affects your life, and it affects your training.”

Quinn turned to face his roommate, “I mean, on the life thing I get it, but you act like my kickboxing school ass could deal with a trained assassin. Hence all your wins in training.”

“No,” snapped the assassin with a pitying shake of his head, “When I unsheathe my hidden blade or when I grab an opponent and throw them to the ground, I do not think. I just rely on muscle memory. Your technique betrays that you have such skill.”

Quinn gave Altair a knowing nod just as the door opened. Standing before him was a pale skinned brunette wearing red glasses, a green jacket over a neatly pressed white cardigan, and a black pencil skirt.

“Hi, I’m Nikki,” she said, her voice wavering out of what Quinn guessed was anxiety,

“Hi, I’m Quinn.”

“I know, you were next on my list,”

“Oh right,” Quinn said, extending his hand.

Nikki limply shook it, gesturing him inside. Quinn complied, shutting the conference r room door behind him. A high-end camera was set up in front of a lone office chair. Nikki’s laptop sat on a desk behind the camera. In one corner of the room was an area set aside for a green screen. As Quinn took all of this in, Nikki sprung into a well-rehearsed speech, “I’m the art and media person for the tournament, so I’ll be handling all of the video packages and things that happen before your match. Before we do the interview though I’ll need to know what your special moves are. Obviously, what gets “over” in your moveset will expand as you advance, but it’s helpful for me to know what your go-to moves will be for promotional purposes.”

“I understand. So it’ll be Exploding Side Kick, Suplex, Soaring Axe Kick, and…I guess Counter Throw?”

Nikki raised an eyebrow, “Interesting. Would’ve thought you’d go with Hart’s Head on Assault, to complete the quadlet you know?”

“Nah, I’ve learned jumps aren’t my thing, and while you can’t exactly eliminate that option in Smash, you can minimize it at least.”

Nikki nodded eagerly, “I see. Now if you’ll just let me get set up.”

Skipping over to the camera and tinkering with its functions, Quinn found himself antsy for no reason.

“So uh…what next?”

“Well,” Nikki began, “We don’t need to do much green screening because I know how everything’ll look approximately, all we have to do is match card VTRs.”

“V-T-What now?” Quinn blubbered.

“Just a three-second clip of you posing for people to see on the big versus graphic, you know?”

“Okay….so can I just do my normal fighting stance,”

Nikki shrugged, “If that’s what you feel like. Ready?”

“Yep!”

Quinn got into his stance, putting his fists up, and flashing a big smile. Nikki clicked a button, Quinn stood still for what seemed like an eternity, before Nikki clicked that same button, “Great!” she said, “Now, interview time!”

“Quinn relaxed his posture, “Is this gonna be like a hard-hitting interview or?”

“No!” Nikki barked, with a giggle and a shake of the head, “Gonna ask your name, where you’re from, who you’re looking forward to facing the most, and a sentence summary of what you think about Greninja, you’re opponent.”

Quinn nodded, “I can do that.”

“Great,” Nikki said as her eyes suddenly widened, “Oh, before I forget, I’m assuming you’re going with Wuhu island as your coin flip stage right?”

“I mean…yeah?”

“Okay cool,” Nikki said, keying something into her laptop quickly, and then turning back to the camera, “Okay so, we start the interview in, three, two one.”

**Smash Stadium**

_There are two types of people in this world, those who sit and listen, and those who talk and learn nothing._

Ryu pondered one of Gouken’s favorite sayings as he sat cross-legged on the floor of the Smashers-only viewing auditorium, similar in design to the ones in the training rooms. Often used to admonish Ken when he acted foolishly during training, it was something that Ryu had agreed with until he and Ken were no under Gouken’s care. Since then, Ken had become Ryu’s quasi-agent in addition to his most frequent opponent. Ken’s gift of gab had been Ryu’s pass into a great number of tournaments, as well as what allowed Ken to manage Ryu’s considerable wealth from tournament victories.

But that was the past. Now, Ryu closed his eyes, mentally reviewing every kick he’d ever thrown and received in the arena of battle with Ken, while Ken made nice with some of the royals. Ryu's brow furrowed. He briefly wondered if Ken’s aloofness was something it would benefit him to replicate.

 _We’ll find out today,_ Ryu concluded.

“Alright, so we go live in a about a minute,” Shulk was saying, “The way this’ll work is that both competitor’s vignettes will play on the big screen, then cameras will film ya going down tunnel one, the door we came in, or tunnel two, the door on the opposite wall. Then we’ll present ya on the Smash Stadium stage for the coin flip. If you win the coin flip, you’ll get teleported to the stage you chose with Nikki, then the match begins. Any questions?”

A murmur of ‘no’ from the Smashers and auxiliary alike came over the room, and Shulk nodded, “Alright, 30 seconds, Ryu, Ken, wait for your cue.”

The next few seconds were sat in silence, listening to the crowd count down the last ten seconds, and then...

 **“SUUUUUPER SMAAAASH BROTTTHERS!”** bellowed the regal yet bombastic pre-recorded voice of Master Hand.

The beat of drumsticks against symbols could be heard, then a raucous electric guitar.

_The race is running a pace that's quicker_ _  
The clocks tick ticking against  
The world keeps turning  
This house is on fire  
Won't catch me sleepwalking again_

“MARIO BESTS LINK TO WIN THE FIRST SMASH BROTHERS CHAMPIONSHIP! HE IS THE CHAMPION OF THE 12!” once again bellowed Master Hand’s pre-recorded voice, as Mario stood on the first incarnation of Final Destination, hands in the air.

“Ah, the first tournament, good times,” wistfully sighed Yoshi.

“For you maybe,” grumbled Link, accompanied by a pocket of laughter.

_Running_ _  
Said I'm running  
I'm running  
I'm coming at you running  
Running  
Said I'm running against_

” “Welcome to the second Super Smash Brothers tournament, Melee! This is the first tournament with a live attendance, and we thank everyone for coming!” barked Master Hand’s prerecorded voice.

 _Running_ _  
Said I'm running  
I'm running  
_“What an occurrence folks! I’m being informed that all four semi-finalists are newcomers!” the voice of Cranky Kong barked

_I'm coming at you running_ _  
Running  
Said I'm running against_

“ROY WINS! THE ROOKIE LORD ROY HAS BEAT MISTER GAME AND WATCH TO BECOME THE CHAMPION OF MELEE!” screamed the archived voice of the old monkey, as Roy stood in the middle of Melee’s Final Destination, sword raised triumphantly into the air.

_Awake and running the distance quicker_ _  
This road is nearing the end  
The wheels keep turning  
This heart is on fire  
I'm burning up high speed when I win_

“WELCOME TO BRAWL!” 9-Volt’s voice shrieked as the TV showed footage of Brawl’s Smash Stadium enshrined in that tournament’s smash logo’s as fireworks erupted.

As it had with the other tournaments, it played a mishmash of memorable moments from the tournament, before stopping on Kirby, wrestling belt hoisted into the air, while Mario, the tournament’s runner-up applauded beside him.

“KIRBY’S THE CHAMP-“ shouted Cranky, but was cut off by TV static.

Several Smash cuts played next, of various guerrilla-style shots of the exploits of the heroes during the subspace emissary played, ending with the defeat of Tabuu and all of the Brawl participants standing on a cliff observing the sunset.

“Who got that footage?” asked Pit from the very front of the room.

“One, now very famous Lakitu,” Mario, who was standing amongst the administration team, said, “Same guy that chronicled my adventure in Peach’s Castle.”

Heroic music had begun to play as the camera swept over the Brawl participants. Suddenly, the camera cut to black.

“My name is Cloud Strife, and quite frankly, I’m the best fighter here,” rang out Cloud’s voice.

A fast, loud, electric guitar played, followed by the scream of a metal band’s frontman.

_All I've ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled  
It is in my hands, I must not fail, I must not fail_

The footage on-screen briefly clicked to a graphic with Cloud on one side, Link on the other, with the text, “Cloud vs. Link, Duel Tournament, Round 1,” splayed across it.

“AND CLOUD STRIFE, SWEEPS LINK THREE STOCKS TO NOTHING IN CONVINCING FASHION!” Cranky explained over the footage of Cloud, standing on the courtyard of Smash Mansion, Buster Sword slung lazily over his shoulder. The next piece of footage showed Rita running up to Cloud asking him about his victory. Cloud, sour-faced, held up a single finger mouthing, “That’s one,”

_Even through the darkest days_ _  
This fire burns always  
This fire burns always_

The next graphic “Cloud vs Corrin, Duel Tournament, Round 2” then appeared The footage cut to Corrin landing a counter on Cloud, netting her the stock, “But Cloud’s pissed,” Cranky exposited as the footage jump-cut between Corrin’s third, second, and last stock, all in rapid succession.

Again, Cloud’s lazy sword spin, Blocking an interview, this time with two fingers, and “That’s two” mouthed to the camera.

_This is the proving ground_ _  
Misery begins to rise  
Turn away from yesterday  
Tomorrow's in my eyes_

Another Duel tournament graphic, this time displaying Cloud and Marth’s third-round bout

“Cloud reads the counter, that’s what got him last time, but oooh the Dancing Blade is faster than Triple Slash and Marth takes the first stock!” 9-Volt cried

Cloud reappeared on the hovering platform, slashing downward at Marth, then hitting Cross-Slash, then Triple Slash, netting him the stock.

“CROSS SLASH INTO TRIPLE SLASH! WHAT TECHNIQUE!” exclaimed Cranky.

The music looped as Cloud and Marth’s duel jump-cut between the two clashing swords, finally settling on the last blow of the match.

“And Cloud’s shield is broken! Are we about to see Shield Breaker? The comeback story will cont- NO! CLOUD RECOVERS AND DODGES AT THE LAST MOMENT! FINISHING TOUCH! GOODBYE! CLOUD PULLS THE VICTORY OUT OF NOWHERE!”

A cut to Round 4, showing various highlights of Hart Bromeister, often with his signature goofy grin on his face as he demolished more and more opponents. After a hard-fought win on Samus, the camera showed Cloud watching the win on a television monitor.

The graphic then showed a “Cloud vs Hart” screen, indicating the semi-finals of the tournament.

“What do you think of this match Cranky?” asked 9-Volt as Cloud and Hart made their entrances.

“Well, we certainly know who Master Hand wants to win,”

“Hey!” snapped 9-Volt, “Cloud’s been a poor sportsman, and…”

“I would keep your mouth shut if you want your job at the end of this young’un,” Cranky growled.

The footage jumpcut to Cloud winning 3 stocks to 1. The loop of the song’s guitar solo cut to the next part of the song.

_Nevermore to be held down_ _  
By the waves against me  
Nevermore to be cast aside  
This day is mine_

Next cut to Robin, sitting in a blank room, his black robe’s hood up his posture slouched, “Cloud, I don’t know where I stand on your drama with Master Hand. All I know is that I promised my wife and my father and law that I would win this tournament. I owe to my family and fans to prove that I am the best.

The camera cut to Robin and Cloud on the Duel tournament’s Final Destination.

**3, 2, 1**

The commentary was muted as the music continued to play.

_Even through the darkest days  
This fire burns always  
This fire burns always_

Robin hits Thoron for the KO. 5 stocks to 4.

Robin hits Nosferatu, leaps back, and hits Thoron, 5 stocks to 3

Cloud catches Robin off guard with a Finishing Touch, 4, stocks to three.

Cloud flip kicks Robin into the air, and meteor stocks him into the blast zone, twice in a row to the delight of the crowd. Tied a 3 stocks

Robin hits Fire, following it up with a Thoron deep into the third stock. Robin leads at 3 stocks to Clouds Two.

Cloud jumps back to avoid Nosferatu, follows up with a Triple Slash, Robin, who’d done nothing but take damage for his third stock, was down to 2 stocks.

Two Cross Slash into Limit Broken Cross-Slashes spelled Robin’s end two stocks in a row.

“CLOUD WINS! CLOUD WINS THE DUEL TOURNAMENT,” Cranky and 9-Volt shouted together.

_I will not be denied in this final hour_ _  
I will not be denied, this day is mine_

Master Hand appears next to Cloud as the confetti falls, Cloud doing his now multiversally famous sword spin victory pose. Extending his Hand, Master Hand let out a sickly, “I’m sorry, Champ,” Cloud shook it, and some muffled, sobbing promises by Master Hand could be heard on camera… before the abrupt cut to news sources all over the multiverse, reporting on the death of Master Hand, the career-ending injury to the Duel Tournament’s Mii Swordfighter, the Monster Hunter, and the loss of Hart Bromeister’s eye in the ensuing conflict. A grim, serious Toad popped up at the end of the montage, asking, “Will there ever be a Smash tournament again?”

Five sections of the screen were devoted to the screen of each Smash Champion holding up their belt, where the announcer from the opening ceremonies bellowed, “And now these champions will put up their grand titles against 90 other challengers new and old!”

A montage of some of the new fighters in training followed this up, with the words, “Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, everyone is here!”

A bellow of cheers erupted both in the general seating of Smash Stadium, and in the Smashers-only waiting area, mostly from the newcomers featured in the montage. Fireworks erupted again from the stadium, a sweeping shot of the massive crowd.

“In my old age, you ain’t glad for much, but by crikey am I glad to be here. For the fourth time, I am Cranky Kong, with my partner 9-Volt, and we welcome you to another Smash Brothers tournament,” Cranky’s voice echoed through the arena, the camera now on him and 9-Volt.

“Man, when I got the call that Smash Bros was still on, I nearly leaped for joy. 100 of the multiverse’s greatest fighters, one tournament to prove, once and for all. What a match we have to start us up!” 9-Volt’s voice squeaked

“Right you are, but first we have to thank Day of Fire for letting us use “Run” as Smash Ultimate’s theme song, and Killswitch Engage for letting us use “This Fire Burns” for the video package.”

“Ugh, I hate that legal mumbo jumbo, can we talk about the first match now?” whined 9-Volt.

“Luckily for your rotten millennial butt, that’s the next thing on our agenda!” snapped Cranky.

“Hey!” 9-Volt snapped back.

The camera cut away from the announcers to the match graphic. Both the combatants, Ryu and Ken, had both opted to stay in their fighting stance for the five-second long gif of them.

“Our first match is Ryu vs Ken from the Street Fighter Universe. This is far from the first time they’ve fought in their own world, but this one is for the highest stakes!”

The camera switched from the announcers to a static shot of Ryu, with text underneath indicated it was recorded earlier today.

“Um, yes, my name is Ryu, and this is my second tournament. I fought Little Mac, who’s style I was used to, and then Megaman, who I’ve fought before.”

As footage from the Duel Tournament of Ryu besting those two, and victory posing, the scene was back on Ryu in the interview room, his brow furrowed, “But then…Bayonetta,”

After a highlight real of Bayonetta countering Ryu’s best moves with her parry ability and Witch Time played. Ryu’s furrowed face took center stage again, “She was unlike anything I’d fought before. But I’ve been thinking about some of my more supernatural opponents lately, and such nonsense will not catch me off guard again.”

Another jumpcut, this time to Ryu pondering, “What do I think of Ken?” said the man in the white gi, “He is as close I’ve had to a brother, and definitely who I consider to be my most equal in skills. In terms of tournament wins, he is ahead of me. I won the first tournament,”

A still picture of Ryu holding a trophy with the phrase, “Street Fighter: 1987 ” written underneath it appeared, going back to Ryu.

“He won the third World Warrior tournament.”

A still picture of Ken with the words, “Street Fighter, Alpha, 1991”

“He won one in the World Warrior era, which was the one he proposed to his wife at”

Ken held a trophy in a still picture stating, “Street Fighter, The World Warrior” 1992

“He won a tournament in the third incarnation of Street Fighter, and I won one in the fourth.”

Two pictures, one of Ken holding a trophy stating Street Fighter: Ultra” 1997, and Ryu holding one that said “Street Fighter, Third Strike, 1999”

“With Shadaloo gone, a tournament didn’t happen until they resurfaced in 2020, and that tournament hadn’t happened yet. And there are other winners in each “season” of Street Fighter, including Chun-Li, who’s also here. But we are the most consistent winners. Ken, I have to beat you in order to prove I haven’t lost a step.”

Suddenly, after staying on Ryu’s ultra-serious face for several sections, Ken appeared on-screen his legs crossed as he sat, “Ryu’s still as good as ever, it’s just that being a drifter ain’t as good for fights as it used to be. Me? I’ve been training in MMA gyms, like normal people, so I’m as confident as ever I can win.”

“As a newcomer to the tournament, are you looking forward to fighting anyone, intimidated, by anyone?” asked Nikki from behind the camera.

“Always good to fight my main man Terry,” Ken said, flashing a pearly white smile, “Now, I don’t intimidate easily. I’ve fought the same superheroes and gods that Ryu has. I guess that Sephiroth guy is the closest anyone here’s gotten me too scared. That and the plant. I don’t think I’ve ever fought an animal before.”

As Piranha Plant chirped with childlike glee, the interview continued, “But I’ll put that all aside if it means getting one up on Ryu.”

Again, the screen flipped to the Ken vs Ryu match graphic. Meanwhile, in the Smashers-only section, Shulk spoke up, “Okay, you’re up to Tunnel A Ken, and you’re in Tunnel B Ryu,” both men nodded, and headed down the ramp, camera drones following them on the walk down.

“What do ya think about this match Cranky?” asked 9-Volt, his voice playing over a picture in picture, one half dedicated to Ryu’s jog down the tunnel, and one half to Ken’s.

“Eh, Ken reminds me too much of my son to think he’ll ever have a chance,”

“Cranky…” gasped 9-Volt, but Cranky continued,

“No, he’s a man of the 90s, too much into his stuff and smiling like a big surfer boy idiot.”

“Save the opinion pieces for Futaba Cranky,” 9-Volt chuckled uncomfortably.

“Oh right. Futaba, what do you think?” Cranky asked Futaba.

The camera cut to Futaba in a separate commentator’s booth in the Smash Mansion, “Let’s go Justin!” cheered Futaba, “Ken’s got the crazy kicks, the powerful grabs, and not to mention the Shinryuken, so it’s his to lose.”

“Thanks, Futaba,” said 9-Volt, the camera now back on him and Cranky, “And now, let’s head down for the coin toss and start of the tournament.”

Ken and Ryu both made their entrances to the theme song of the second Street Fighter Tournament. Ryu jogging to center stage, not taking his eyes off of Ken, who made his entrance posing and grinning. Ryu both stood in the center stage now, with a Wire Frame dressed as a referee holding a coin.

“Creatures of all kinds,” began the referee, The following contest is match number one of the Smash Ultimate Tournament! The winner of this bout will face either Bowser Juniors and/or the Koopalings, or Otis and Mikey, the Duck Hunt Duo, in the next round. Introducing the man to my left, from the Street Fighter Universe, The Fire Breathing Fist, Ken Masters!”

Ken flashed a thumbs-up as the crowd cheered, female cheers drowning out the deeper voices.

“Introducing the man to my right, The Eternal Wanderer, Ryu!” boomed the voice of the referee.

Ryu raised his fist into the air, to the cheers of mostly men.

“If Ryu wins the coin toss, the stage will be Omega Suzaku Castle. If Ken wins it’ll be regular Suzaku Castle. Call it gentlemen.”

“Heads,” barked Ryu.

The Wire Frame flipped the coin, examining it as flipped one final time to rest on the ground, “Heads!” the referee said to cheers, “Stage will be Omega Suzaku Castle, two stocks, all items on. Gentlemen, are you ready?”

Both World Warriors nodded, disappearing.

**Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low**

**Stage: Suzaku Castle**

**Music Ryu’s Theme (Street Fighter 3 rd Strike Ver)**

The big screen in Smash Stadium and the small TV in the Smasher Box section showed Suzaku Castle. Both men made their entrances, simply walking onto the two-dimensional plane, striking their fighting stances.

**“3.**

**2.**

**1.**

**GO!”**

Ryu and Ken met in the middle of the stage, Ryu extended a fist, “You ready?”

Ken bumped the fist, “You know it, bring it on big man!”

There was a beat of stillness between the two friends, and then…  
“HADOUKEN!” they screamed simultaneously

Balls of fire erupted from the two men’s palms, sizzling out as they connected.

“WOW! They tried to catch each other off guard, but they knew what each other were thinking!” remarked 9-Volt.

“That’s what happens when you train with somebody like that!” Cranky added.

The two men traded ducking the other’s punches first, then stepping back to avoid half-hearted kicks. Ryu attempted his signature “Kidney Breaker” punch, to which Ken took to the air, to dodge, Ryu doing the same on Ken’s next blow. This was the pace set for the next few exchanges before each man stepped backward.

“ **TATSUMAKI SENPUKYAKU!”** both men shouted.

As both men completed their impossible helicopter kicks, nearing each other, both men went for Shoryukens, both sent into the air having connected with nothing.

“Both men with the same fake-out! Incredible!” shouted 9-Volt Ryu jumped to avoid Ken sweep, scooting backward to avoid a series of Ken’s kicks.

**“HADOUKEN!”** he shouted.

Ken parried the blow with no effort, reflecting his chi into the air as Gouken had taught them both. Ken wordlessly fired off a Hadoken of his own, Ken wordlessly parrying it as well. By the time he had, Ryu was in the air and in range for a downward punch. Ken parried that as well. Ryu spent the next several seconds alternating between punches and kicks, only to have them parried as well.

“To parry something, you have to know exactly when a move hits, then expand your chi outward in order to block it. To parry with such consistency is emblematic of how well Ken knows Ryu,” explained Cranky

“Yeah!” agreed 9-Volt, “You pretty much have to know when your opponent’s muscles will fire, and how!”

Both men took to the air, parrying each other’s punches and kicks as they fell. Both men tried for a Tatsu only to hit nothing as their duel Shoryukens had earlier. Ken cockily tried another, but Ken managed to parry all of it. Ken tried for another Tatsu but missed it. However, Ken couldn’t help but notice that Ryu’s uppercut, meant to counter the move, had missed too, by mere inches, and the stern Japanese fighter was open. Ken landed, and lunched, volleying with a hypnotizing dance between punches and kicks as Ryu recoiled. In the midst of it, a Final Smash had appeared between the two, Shoryu into Tatsu into another Shoryu, and Ken had the Final Smash, and used it just as the last Shoryuken uppercut connected.

**“SHINRYUKEN!”** cried Ken.

Both men descended the entire way up the fire pillar, both men descending, Ken landing briskly on his feet, Ryu landing on his belly.

“Huh, that didn’t knock ya out?” balked Ken, “If you insist on sticking around, you’re gonna need to get serious buddy!” balked Ken, complete with his ‘come hither’ gesture.

Ryu sprang to his feet, teeth gritted. Ken threw out another Hadoken, Ryu parrying it, but Ryu was able to leap over an ax kick by Ken at the last moment. Ken was open now, and now it was Ryu instinctually swapping between punches and kicks. Instinctively, Ken threw up his shield. An orange Hakoken appeared from Ryu’s hands this time, cutting the shield down to about 1/3rd, Ryu rapid-firing Hadokens to break the shield now. Ryu managed to land a few hits, including a Kidney Breaker and a thrust kick, then landing two back to back Shoryukens as Ken was knocking into the air and tumbled back down. Ryu went for the third Shoryuken too early, and Ken was back on his feet in his ready stance. Punches, Kicks, Tatsus, and Shoryukens were all thrown by both men, and all were parried, Another Final Smash appeared the two deadlocked martial artists, this time Ryu getting the better.

Ryu shoved Ken away. As his friend staggered, Ryu cocked back.

**“SHINKU HADOUKEN!”**

Ken stood ready to parry the big fireball but found himself immediately consumed by it and sent to the blast zone.

**Ryu: 2**

**Ken: 1**

**Smashers Box**

The 98 remaining Smashers, plus the auxiliary smashers, were abuzz with shock at the exchange they’d just seen, “THEY-A HAVE-A AIR PARRIES-A? YOU CAN-A DO-THAT?” bellowed Wario.

Mewtwo chuckled, “You never couldn’t, you oaf. Your techniques are only limited by your imagination.”

“I’LL-A IMAGINE 151 WAYS TO KICK YOUR KANTO ASS YOU LITTLE!” Wario said, Dedede and Ganondorf not even breaking their conversation to hold the tiny round man by the arms as he kicked, screamed, and grunted.

“Hmmm, air parries? Think that’s something we oughta train for next session Nana?” asked Popo.

“Most certainly,” Nana dryly agreed, her eyes not leaving the TV screen.

**Suzaku Castle Stage**

Ryu watched Ken get off the revival platform, that oh-so-famous come-hither gesture beckoning him onward. A Hadoken broke the truce, which Ken parried. The two leaped into the air, meeting each other in the middle and parrying their adversary’s punches and kicks as they gentle floated back down. The two jumped into the air, the same results with a flurry of punches and kicks.

“This is merely a game of chess and they’re trying to find the first open move,” Cranky explained to the audience.

The two traded punches, parrying each. They leaped into the air again, and yet again their flurries were parried by their opponents. A simultaneous Shoryuken connected with both their jaws. Ken crumbling to the ground, while Ryu was launched away, but found his way back with a well-timed double jump, Tatsu, and Shoryu. Ken, meanwhile, just watched a bemused smirk on his bruised face. Simultaneous Hadokens once again fizzled out. The two jumped into the air, only to collide in mid-air and land on the ground on their backs. Both men scrambled up. Ken attempted to sweep Ryu, but he jumped. Ken attempted to respond with a Tatsu, but every connection the move made with Ryu’s guard was parried. As were the next ten blows. Knees, kicks, punches, Shoryukens, none breached the impenetrable fortress that was Ryu’s guard. A simultaneous kick to the jaw created a separation between the two. Ryu fired a Hadoken, but Ken jumped over it easily. However, Ken overshot the jump and turned right into a rolling throw from Ryu.

“And Ryu hits the first throw!” cheered 9-Volt, “Wasn’t expecting that!”

“Neither was Ken, by the looks of it,” Cranky quipped.

Ryu fired a Hadoken, but Ken stayed down, only getting up when the Hadoken flew past him.

“Brilliant bait by Ken!” Cranky cheered.

Again, the two ran, jumping into the air. This time, a simultaneous punch knocked them asunder, Ryu once again finding his way to the stage.

“Huh, Ken isn’t fighting as aggressively as I would’ve thought,” 9-Volt thought aloud.

“If he tidies up the stock deficit, we may say it,” offered Cranky.

Going back to the center, Ken and Ryu traded parried blows, Ken opting for kicks, and Ryu opting for punches. Ken suddenly latched onto Ryu’s gi, rolling forward and sending him backward.

“THERE IT IS! THE HELL WHEEL!” announced 9-Volt.

“You just wanted to say ‘hell” on commentary didn’t you, you foul-mouthed whippersnapper?”

“Hey! We all have our wants and needs!” barked 9-Volt, sounding downcast.

Again, Ryu and Ken fired Hadokens from across the stage at one another, colliding and dissipating as this song and dance had always done. Ryu fired another Hadoken, Ken jumping over it. Ken unleashed with punches and kicks, only for Ryu to parry. This time, the flow was given up by a simultaneous kick to the shin. As Ryu’s damage was higher, he flew back further. Ryu used the opportunity to use a Hadoken. However, Ken was on the move, dodging it, and catching Ryu in a Shoryuken, and another, and another. More parried blows. A second simultaneous kick to the shins and a simultaneous hook to the face broke the momentum.

“Neither man will give up momentum, but the gas tank is emptying,” Cranky warned the audience.

Both men cocked their fists back, both going for a Shoryuken, but Ken was faster, finally knocking Ryu into the upper blast zone!

**Ryu: 1**

**Ken: 1**

“Now that the stocks are even, what will we see?” pondered Cranky, “Are they going to keep up the parry party, or are they going to use the items that they’ve been ignoring all fight?”

Now it was Ryu’s turn to jump off the revival platform. The two casually walked to the middle. Both mean jumped lightly into the air for a jumping downward punch, only for their fists to collide. Both men scooted back, Ken was the aggressor, jumping over Ryu and landing a punch as he turned, only for Ryu to parry it. Ryu responded with rapid-fire punches to Ken’s body. This didn’t seem to phase Ken, despite Ryu feeling them connect, Ken responded with two normal uppercuts to Ryu’s jaw, and went in for a Tatsu, only for the special move to be parried, a Smash ball appeared, and the two jumped to its resting place so that the fight could take place with a Smash Ball as a middle. Amidst parried blows, the two friends took turns pecking at the steadily cracking Smash Ball. Ken was the run to break it. Two body blows and a Shippu Jinraiyaku later, Ken was on the defensive. Ryu immediately sprung to life when Ken was in striking distance with a Shoryuken A punch, a sweep kick, and a Hadoken all landed for Ryu. A Shoryuken from Ken was parried in midair, but as was the uppercut to the man in the air. Ken made it to the ground unharmed, this time catching Ryu by surprise as he turned with a kick to his right knee and a Shoryuken. Ryu responded to Ken’s next punch with a parry, and another thrust kick, the force of which was so hard that Ken bounced off of the wooden floor of Suzaku, right into a Tatsu from Ryu. Ryu responded with another Tatsu, only for it to be parried by three simultaneous Shoryukens which sent Ryu reeling. The two traded punches, both met with blocks. Ken lunged. Grabbing Ryu for another Hell Wheel. As Ryu flew through the air, Ken landed another Shoryuken., as Ryu found himself offstage. Ken ran forward, jumping off the stage. Just as Ryu cocked his fist for a recovering Shoryuken, Ken hit the Kidney Breaker punch, spiking Ryu into the blast zone!

**“KEN WINS!”**

Ken was teleported to the Smash Mansion courtyard, “Ha! I DID IT!” he bellowed, casting a thumbs up and flashing his million-dollar smile as the splash screen appeared.

Ryu’s image appeared at the bottom of the screen, clapping for his friend, but looking disappointed in himself. After ten seconds, both were teleported to their respective tunnels, where Mister Zero was there to interview Ryu, “Tough loss out there champ.”

Ryu shook his head, “Not when it’s against a worthy opponent. Perhaps Ken was right all along, perhaps my ways of training are outdated.”

“Perhaps, but self-improvement never hurts! Alright Cranky and Volt, back to you!”

Mister Zero disappeared from the tunnel as Cranky and 9-Volt were offering post-match analysis. Ryu bounded up the tunnel to see Ken already there, hounded in the congrats of Smashers. Immediately, Ken caught sight of Ryu and ran to him, throwing an arm over his shoulder, “You did great out there champ!” Ken encouraged.

Ryu grinned, “As did you. Perhaps if I give your more conventional training a try, I will widen the gap between us."

“I don’t know about that,” Ken laughed, but all I can say is I’ll try to do you good in the next round.”

“You had better,” Ryu gave Ken a slap on the back, nodding to the horde of Smashers offering encouragement his way.

As the crowd dissipated, Chun Li gave Ryu a hug, which Ryu could only offer out a shocked grunt.

“You did great out there Ryu,” she said.

“Oh, um, thank you,” stuttered Ryu, glaring daggers at Ken, who was trying and failing to keep his childish snickers to himself.

“Don’t think I don’t see you over there Masters,” Chun-Li growled

“Shhhh, next match,” Mario interrupted, casting everyone’s glances at the TV.

The matchup cards flipped from one to the other at agonizing speed.

“The next match is…” Cranky intentionally trailed off.

The roulette stopped.

“ **Palutena versus Pacman!”** Cranky and 9-Volt announced together as the graphic showed Pacman giving the camera the thumbs up, while Palutena flippantly flipped her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN: And that was the first match of the first round! For this fight, I combined two Tool Assisted Speedruns of Third Strike, because I imagine that’s what a canon fight between the two will be like. Special thanks to Youtube users 2-D (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=295VdON-pJs&ab_channel=2-D)  
> and M.Bizarro (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyY2yOS46zU&t=91s&ab_channel=M.Bizarro) for putting their stuff on the internet for my inspiration!)


	41. Round 1: Palutena vs. Pacman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Duel Tournament veterans look to stand out from the crowd, it's Palutena vs. Pacman!

**Round 1: Palutena vs. Pacman**

**Smashers Box, Smash Stadium**

“Alright! Pacman you’re in Tunnel B, Palutena’s in Tunnel A.”

“Got it!” shouted Palutena, teleporting away.

Pacman meanwhile, only shrugged, chuckled, and began to amble down the tunnel.

Meanwhile, on the TV, Cranky Kong was in full salesmen mode, “Which one of these veteran students of the game will climb the ladder in their second tournament in this match of mutual respect.”

“Oh, I hope Lady Palutena can do it! Pacman is one tough customer,” Pit fretted in The Smashers Box.

“I hope she loses,” muttered Dark Pit, arms crossed.

“Why do you have to be such a child?”

“I’m not being a child, I’m just sick of your puppy love!”

“AY! YOU’RE-A DROWNIN’ OUT MY BOY 9-VOLT’S COMMENTARY!” screamed Wario.

An authoritative ‘shhh’ from Peach silenced the room just as the video package began to play, Palutena on-screen, regally sat on the interview bench.

“As a goddess,” she began, “I’m privy to all the goings-on of the multi-verse, just as The Hands were. Thus, I’m familiar with Pacman, probably more than one would assume. Pacman, you’re a legend in this industry, but I lost in the first round last time, and I’ll be self-damned if I let that happen again. I know all your tricks, but you don’t know all of mine.”

“Goddess, eh,” Pacman shrugged as the footage cut to him on the interview bench, “I mean, Palu’s a cool chick, never been nothin’ but nice to me, but she isn’t the first young’un that’s tried to come at me. People seem to forget that I was eatin’ ghosts when half these kids were still in diapers, or poppin’ teenage zits depending on who you’re talkin’ about. I’ve got this.”

The transition effect of the Smash Ultimate Tournament’s black and white logo clinking together played, and transitioned to a picture in picture. Palutena stood at the tunnel’s exit tapping her staff against the ground, while Pacman visibly whistled as he jogged down the hall.

“We’ve got two supremely cocky assholes in this match. Futaba, what do you think?”

“Cranky, you’re gonna get us canceled,” hissed 9-Volt.

“Bah! I’m a legend in this business! They could barely afford to pay me! Furthermore, their T-shirts…” Cranky ranted as the camera was now on Futaba’s booth, the orange-haired teenager barely suppressing laughter.

Futaba cleared her throat, “As much the retro gaming enthusiast in me wants to say old man Pacman’s got it in the bag, I gotta give it to Palutena. She’s got a reflector AND a counter! OP AF if you ask me!”

“Alright, thanks Futaba! Let’s head down to the arena for entrances.”

Pacman’s entrance was first, a “Wakka Wakka” sound set to a low-fi beat as the laid back yellow man jogged to the stage from the rightmost tunnel

“Apparently this is from Pacman’s new album, what do you think?” 9-Volt asked Cranky.

“Sounds like modern garbage to me,” grumbled Cranky.

“Like you could do any better,” snapped 9-Volt.

“Boy, I’ve been dropping weapon of mass destruction level bars since before you were alive.”

9-Volt let out a defeated grunt as Palutena made her entrance to the 8-bit version of the Skyworld theme.

“Ah, now that’s music to my ears,” sighed Cranky.

9-Volt chuckled, “I think that’s the one thing we’ve ever agreed on old man, that chiptune music rules!”

“Yer damn skippy!”

The music faded. As it had done before, the referee began his introductions, “The following contest is the next match in Round 1 of The Ultimate Tournament! The winner of this match will face either Shulk or Robin in the next round. Introducing first, standing to my left, from the Kid Icarus Universe, she is The Goddess of Light, Palutena!”

Amidst the cheers, a regal sounding bugle erupted from the Kid Icarus cheering section.

“The heck? Who brought a bugle in here?” demanded 9-Volt.

“I suppose when you’re a goddess, you can get fanfare like that,” Cranky reasoned.

“Introducing to my right, from the Pacman Universe, he is the Yellow Bane of Ghosts, Pacman!”

Celebratory, pronounced calls of “Wakka Wakka” eclipsed the usual cheers in volume.

“If Pacman wins the coin toss, the stage will be Pac-Land. If Palutena wins the coin toss it will be Palutena’s Temple. Call it!”

“Tails!” barked Palutena as the referee flipped the coin.

The coin landed on the ground, spinning to one side. Heads.

“Heads!” the referee confirmed to the crowd, “Stage will be Pac-Land, two stocks, all items on. Smashers, are you ready?”

Pacman and Palutena both flashed the referee thumbs up, not taking their eyes off one another. Goddess and ghost-eater alike were teleported to Pac-Land.

**Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low**

**Stage: Pac-Land**

**Music Namco ‘80s Retro Medley 1**

Palutena stepped through a heavenly golden door. Meanwhile, Pacman idly flapped his jaws in his retro jaw form before turning to normal. The two stood in a void, the italicized yellow text of “Ready Player 1! Trip 1!” their only company

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

Palutena immediately charged, shoulder checking Pacman with all her might, while Pacman threw a roundhouse kick which barely shook the green-haired goddess. The world around them changed to Pacman’s neighborhood, the camera scrolling to the right. As Cranky motored through an explanation of scrolling stages, Pacman opened up his hand, and a row of dots appeared, with only one of the five dots appearing in front of her, the rest behind. Pacman transformed into his retro form, chomping the row of dots. Palutena sidestepped the blow.

“EXPLOSIVE FLAME!” cried Palutena.

Pacman was engulfed by the oncoming explosion. Even still, he had the presence of mind to leap into the air, avoiding the red reticle from Palutena’s staff, and the blasts of blue energy that accompanied it. Pacman landed in front of Palutena, lazily using the water pressure from the blast of a nearby fire hydrant to move as he summoned a metal visage of the red ghost Blinky to smack Palutena with, using his retro form to chomp at the ankles of the downed goddess, knocking her into an encroaching blast zone to take the stock!

**Palutena: 1**

**Pacman: 2**

“AND JUST LIKE THAT!” bellowed 9-Volt, “PACMAN TAKES A STOCK!”

“It’s what can happen if you don’t pay attention in these old games,” admonished Cranky, “It’s why I think games in my day were better!”

Pacman jumped to meet Palutena as she appeared on the revival platform, only to take a face full of shield for his trouble.

“The hell did he do that for?” wondered Cranky.

“Playing fast and aggressive! Pacman has 38 damage, he’s confident!” answered 9-Volt.

Pacman was dodging Palutena’s aerial attacks now, even going as far as to take to the ground and run away, but stood firm amid a misaimed Explosive Flame.

“That’s what we call a juke m’boy!” Cranky cheered.

Pacman took to jumping through the air as he always had, only this time, Palutena met him in the air, spinning her staff above her head at light speed, very nearly sending Pacman to the blast zone, clipping Pacman with a hit from her reticle. Pacman now took to running away with a look of genuine concern on his face.

“Perhaps it was Palutena who was doing the juking old man,” 9-Volt smugly rebuked.

A Freezie appeared directly in front of Pacman. As Palutena closed in, jumping down from the roof of a building with an overhead strike with her staff, Pacman lobbed the Freezie in her face, simply shattering on impact due to Palutena’s minimal damage. Pacman mouthed, “Shit” under his breath, instinctively throwing a kick, which connected with Palutena’s torso, and another. Now both were in the scrolling, looming blast zone.

“He’s taking her to the blast zone again,” Cranky explained, “He’s trying to make this one a clean sweep.”

Palutena jumped over Pacman, Pacman leaping over a close up Explosive Flame in turn. Palutena’s heavenly wings appeared, clasping down onto Pacman as their path lead them to a forest, sending Pacman into the blast zone!

**Palutena: 1**

**Pacman: 1**

“Futaba may have been right, Palutena may be too OP for old man Pacman!” yelled 9-Volt.

“Hey! Never count out an old man!” barked Cranky.

Pacman skipped merrily through the remaining forested path, forcing Palutena to give chase, only for Pacman to start chomping at her in his retro form.

“And back to the blast zone we go!” Cranky cheered.

“WARP!” shouted Palutena.

Palutena appeared on Pacman’s opposite side, several steps away. Pacman closed the distance by going into his retro form, following it up with another wallop from the metal Blinky look-alike, sending Palutena to the blast zone.

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU, YOU SNOT NOSED YOUNGSTER? PACMAN STEALS IT LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT!”

“Or a ghost!” 9-Volt quipped.

“If your mama wasn’t an actual demon, I’d give you five across the ass here n’ now,” grumbled Cranky.

Meanwhile, in the Smash Mansion courtyard, Pacman had flown up briefly in his retro form, only to collapse in his normal form, falling right on his butt, but having enough presence of mind to throw a fist in the air as the splash screen appeared.

**“PACMAN WINS!”**

As Pacman was waiting 10 seconds to be teleported back, Mister Zero was already interviewing a disappointed looking Palutena.

“How are you feeling aft-?“ Mister Zero began.

“I got outplayed in a game of chess, what do you think?” snapped Palutena, teleporting away.

Meanwhile, as soon as Pacman teleported back into Tunnel B, Rita was there, microphone in hand, “Incredible victory! What was the secret to your success?”

“Well, it’s real simple Rita, and I hope the young’uns are takin notes,” Pacman said coolly, “I don’t care who ya fight, goddess, goblin, or ghost, if you control the movement, you control the game. And that’s the strategy I intend on taking to the top!”

As Pacman ran away, Rita simply said, “Cranky, 9-Volt, back to you.”

The round, yellow man made it up the tunnel easily, where the more affable Smashers were waiting to give their congratulations. Among the broodier Smashers was Palutena, face in hands, while a forlorn-looking Pit gently rubbed her back.

“Alright-a guys, quiet down, we’re selecting the next match.” Mario called out.

Pacman glanced over to the TV, where the remaining match card graphics whizzed by, stopping on…

**“SUBJECT ZERO AND KRYSTAL!”** came the simultaneous voices of Cranky and 9-Volt.

The Smash contingent cheered as Subject Zero inserted earbuds, a deep frown on his face, while Krystal bore her fangs for the camera, flipping it off.

“Tunnel A, I got it you prepubescent wank,” Krystal sneered at Shulk, heading down her tunnel, while Subject Zero wordlessly inserted his earbuds connected to a worn looking MP3 player, and sulked down Tunnel B.


	42. Round 1: Subject Zero vs. Krystal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newcomers step up to the plate for the first time! It's Subject Zero vs. Krystal.

**Round 1: Subject Zero vs. Krystal**

**Smash Stadium**

Krystal’s sneering, obscene gestured gif was given the screen to itself, as all the other fighters’ poses had, with her name enshrined underneath.

“My name is Krystal,” growled the pre-recorded Krystal, her posture on the interview bench tense and rigid.

The video cut to her running through a kata with her staff alone on the Lylat Cruise stage.

“I am the last survivor of a planet called Cernia,” narrated her voice, “I was on a quest to find the perpetrator of my people’s genocide, who I found out was a disgraced Lylatian named Andross. I was ambushed and captured. Then I met…him,”

The footage on-screen was replaced by various newspaper clippings. One showed Fox speaking to a press conference, Krystal in a bathrobe standing nervously next to him, the title reading **“McCloud returns, saves Sauria, Cernian found.”**

The next was Krystal posed seductively, laying sideways on a docked Arwing, the headline reading, **“Krystal passes Class C flight test, joins Star Fox Team”**

The next was a clip of the Star Fox team, waving to a crowd, **“Star Fox Team repels Aparoid invasion.”**

“I was something of a celebrity for my work,” said Krystal as the camera was back on her on the interview bench, “But then the tabloids started sucking our blood."

A barrage of newspaper clippings filled the screen.

**“Fox and Krystal caught holding hands on Aquas getaway, love in the air?”**

**“Fox and Krystal targeted by pirates in Corneria, assassination attempt repelled.”**

**“22-year-old arrested in Krystal stalking case, police find manifesto.”**

**“Krystal seen at bar with Lombardi, infidelity afoot?”**

**“Krystal nearly shot down in escort mission, is Krystal a competent pilot?”**

“It was at that point Fox decided to kick me off the team to protect me,” Krystal said, her teeth clenched.

" **Krystal leaves Star Fox, McCloud not taking interviews.”**

**"Krystal spotted with playboy Caruso, is she Star Wolf bound?”**

“ _We_ saved Lylat from the Anglars, and what did we get?”

" **Cornerian Parliament rejects rescinding Star Wolf bounties."**

“And then…”

**“Krystal disappears,”**

“Now,” Krystal said, “Lylat, your favorite scourge is back. My ultimate goal is to embarrass Fox in front of his legions of drooling fangirls as I did in training,”

After a brief cut to Krystal taking out Falco and Fox in their training session on Day 4 of Physics Week. It cut back to Krystal. Now, the azure fox was grinning, murderous intent in her eyes.

“Subject Zero, whoever you are, I do not care. You’re just a meat shield blocking me from McCloud. Nothing more, nothing less. And you will…not…win!” she hissed.

Subject Zero’s pose was next as he annoyedly took inserted his earbuds.

“My name is Subject Zero, and…I don’t know much else honestly. I’m still finding out about myself,” he said in his pre-recorded interview.

“Well…just give me what you can,” Nikki’s off-camera voice encouraged.

“I…I was utilized for a war effort. As a result, I was made addicted to a drug called Chronos. How it works in its unaltered form is that I can slow down and speed up time, always, even if I die. The modified version I’ve been gifted by Smash, however, only allows me to slow down the flow of time in my own head. As I understand, it’s similar to Bayonetta’s Witch Time.”

“Anyone you’re looking forward to fighting?” Nikki prodded.

“The swordfighters honestly. Seldom do I get to clash blades with someone in a fair, non-lethal environment.”

“What do you think of Krystal?”

“She’s a bitter veteran of war. Like a lot of my friends.”

“She’s not interested in being your friend, from the sounds of it.” Nikki winced.

“Oh, I know,” deadpanned Subject Zero, “They never are, but I hope after this is done, we can listen to one another,”

“That’s a jarring change of pace, considering some of the interviews I’ve had today.”

“Not to be rude, but Elizabeth will probably be up soon, and I want to make sure she has breakfast and gets dressed before we leave.”

“No problem!”

The footage broadcasted to the arena was now a live shot of Cranky and 9-Volt, “That’s so wholesome!” swooned the Warioware employee.

“There are very few things that warm this cold heart, and one of those things is fatherhood darn it!” agreed Cranky with a nod, “ Futaba, the floor is yours.”

All eyes were on Futaba now, her brow furrowed in thought “This one took a little deliberation. Who wins, the telepath or the time manipulator. And I gotta think the telepath wins every time. Sorry Zero, but Krystal’s got this.”

“Not often you see a gal like Futaba stumped,” 9-Volt said as the feed flipped back to the commentary desk.

“Most certainly not, Alright, let’s throw it down to our referee for entrances, who I’m being informed has been given the name Mills Frames.”

“Who came up with that?” gasped 9-Volt, a deep frown setting in at the pun

“Who do you think?” snarled Cranky.

“Ah, you’re right,” 9-Volt muttered.

Subject Zero was out first, coming from the left tunnel to subdued electronic dance music. The crowd, who’d been animated up to now, was relatively silent.

“We’re told that the song you’re hearing right now is “Third District” by LudoWic, which serves as an anthem for where this kid hails from,” Cranky explained.

9-Volt cast a downward glance at the desk in confusion, “What I’m more interested in is this reaction. Do you think it’s because he’s an assassin? My sources tell me that he’s not known by Subject Zero by very many, even in his universe”

“Socks to yer sources! It’s because of one of those dern indy games boy. In my day, indy games stayed where they belong, in the musty basement of the people who programmed them!” cackled Cranky.

“Not at all what I was talking about, you old coot,” muttered a downtrodden 9-Volt.

“Old coot? Boy, I oughta…”

“Please for the love of the Seven Stars throw down to Mills, please!” 9-Volt begged.

The camera cut to Tunnel B as a hymn in an incomprehensible language began to play. Krystal appeared out of the tunnel, holding her staff out in front of her grabbed at the middle point, magic gem pointed up, her face stoic. Stopping in front of Mills’ podium on stage to kneel, mumbling a brief prayer. As soon as she stood, the music stopped.

“The next contest is a Round 1 match in the Ultimate Tournament!” began Mills Frames “The winner of this match will face either Travis Touchdown or The River City Girls in the next round. Introducing first in the corner to my left, from the Katana Zero universe, Subject Zero!”

Subject Zero stared coldly ahead, the crowd barely reacting.

“And introducing in the corner to my right, from the Star Fox Universe, Krystal!”

As the crowd erupted into boos, Krystal simply raised her middle claw into the air, amplifying the boos even further.

Yelling over the boos, Mills continued, “If Krystal wins the coin toss, the contest will take place on Orbital Gate Assault. If Subject Zero wins the coin toss, it will be contested at Club Neon! Smashers, call it!”

“Heads!” shouted Krystal.

The coin fell to the floor, landing on one side, Krystal immediately snarled as Mills made visual contact with it. Being telepathic meant being hit by bad news at the worst times.

“Tails! The stage will be Club Neon. The rules are, two stocks, items all, low. Smashers, are you ready?”

Krystal flipped off Mills while Subject Zero gave a quick nod, not breaking his stare from his opponent. Both Smashers were teleported away.

**Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low**

**Stage: Club Neon**

**Music “Hit the Floor” by DJ Electrohead**

As the fighters appeared on the opposite end of the club, Krystal was immediately overwhelmed. The pulsating individual squares of the dance floor and the lasers that came from the ceiling creating a sickening rainbow barrage of lights, the thumping bass music, and the smell of cheap cigarettes and cheaper booze. These all brought back terrible vivid memories, being dragged to such places by Fox and Panther, both to be paraded around as arm candy. But what Krystal hadn’t expected with the abundance of thoughts. Krystal’s forehead wrinkled.

 _Smash arenas typically don’t have bystanders in them, do they? Are they real?_ wondered Krystal.

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!  
**Krystal held her ground, hoping Subject Zero would get snagged moving through the crowd, giving her an opening, but the bathrobe wearing assassin waded through the crowd confidently, never breaking his cold, steely gaze from her. Krystal raised her staff into her fighting stance, the gem shining a blinding blue, awaiting her command. Subject Zero removed something from his breast pocket, throwing it to the ground in front of her. Whatever he had thrown was now spewing smoke

“Smoke grenade, shit!” spat Krystal.

Raising her staff in front of her in a blocking stance, she felt her eyes sting, and her lungs fill up with noxious smoke. But a Cernian warrior was taught to never beak their guard in defense unless offensive opportunity was assured. And so that’s what she did until the smoke stopped spewing. The thoughts remained consistent with vapid consumerist joy despite the fact a smoke grenade went off in a club.

 _So, these people are automatons? I should’ve figured, but I couldn’t be sure without observation,_ the Cernian deduced.

Making it a special point to crush the accursed thing under her heel, she quickly scanned what she could see of the club, finding no sign of the assassin. Shoving her way through the crowd, batting away the vapid thoughts of club-goers, she snarled. She would come every inch of this club as she had to. The bastard couldn’t hide forever.

Suddenly on her wade through the fourth cluster of bobbing twenty-somethings, she felt, not the fine silk of a suit or dress, but the tattered frayed silk of a bathrobe. She turned but felt something sharp and wet slap against her cheek. Krystal blocked a second slap with her wrist, glaring down at it. The fur on her wrist was no longer azure, but as technicolor as the lights of the club.

 _Paint?_ inwardly balked the blue fox.

The next thing she knew, an enormous claymore sword sliced across her, knocking her back through the crowd of people, falling onto her behind.

“AND SUBJECT ZERO SWITCHES SWORDS BETWEEN TWO OF HIS SPECIAL SWORDS, THE PRISM SWORD, AND THE CLAYMORE AFTER USING HIS OTHER SPECIAL MOVE ‘THROW OBJECT,’ WHICH JUST HAPPENED TO BE A SMOKE GRENADE!” Cranky explained.

“The paint allowed Subject Zero to do the extra damage, as it will when Torri Gachi enters the ring later on tonight,” added 9-Volt.

Krystal sneered as the bright paint dematerialized off of her wrist. A blue laser came whizzing across the club, which Krystal blocked with her staff. Krystal glanced up seeing Subject Zero skipping across the heads of the crowd, who appeared to be never the wiser. Subject Zero jumped off the last clubgoer, bearing yet another sword down onto her, this time, a fire area of effect protruding out as he swung. Thinking quickly, the Cernian froze the fire with her staff’s Ice ability. Luckily, the spell was powerful enough that, instead of reducing the fire to a mix of steam and water, it froze the fire solid. Kick the fire apart, the ice shards collided with Subject Zero, who winced in unexpected pain. Krystal took the momentary distraction to land a thrust kick to Subject Zero’s jaw, knocking him through the nonplused dancing crowd as she had done to him earlier. Krystal’s eyes had adjusted to the blinding neon that no doubt got the club its name, so she saw Subject Zero get a Super Scope as he tucked and rolled into the crowd. Krystal raced after him, swinging the staff as she ran. But as she connected with him, her perception of the world began to warble into a neon hell, everything, including her, slowing down. Krystal felt several Super Scope laser blasts belt her, but Subject Zero’s thoughts relayed to her what this was. He had power over time, but no power over time could prevent what Krystal had planned.

“Quake!” she commanded as the flow of time returned to normal.

The ground shook, Subject Zero flailing for balance as it did. A vertical bonk on the head, followed by a barrage of sideswipes, ending in a jumping twisting slice knocked Subject Zero further away. Krystal grinned, shooting an ice blast at the dark-haired assassin, encasing him in a block of ice. Kicking him out of it and up the stairs, away from the flashing lights of the dance floor, into the standard neon lights of the small bar area. Before Subject Zero could get to his feet, she incased him in another block of ice, kicking him in the ribs, shattering him from the ice, and out the club doors to the blast zone.

**Krystal: 2**

**Subject Zero 1**

Krystal collapsed onto a stool in the bar as she waited for Subject Zero to appear. She could see him wading through the crowd.

 _Like a bug to a zapper,_ she sneered.

Subject Zero leaped through the air, surpassing the stairs entirely in his lunge. Krystal took the moment before contact to admire the young man’s vertical leap before he made contact with her. Krystal rolled into the momentum as the two collided flipping him over into a motion similar to Ken’s Hell Wheel, nearly sending him out the door. Krystal sensed the man cycling through which sword to use in his head.

 _Perfect,_ the vixen snarled inwardly.

She picked up the stool, freezing the tall, cushioned chair in midair. Subject Zero sliced the thing clean in half with his Claymore, but his wide eyes betrayed the fact that he had expected to slice metal and pillow fluff, not crystallized water. He had swung too hard, and now his sword was stuck in the ground. Krystal charged, running up the central ridge of the massive sword, proclaiming “BOOST” as she reached its edge, carrying her across the rest of the blade and allowing her to kick Subject Zero out of the door to the club, into the blast zone.

**“KRYSTAL WINS!”**

“WOW! THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, OUR FIRST SWEEP OF THE TOURNAMENT.” 9-Volt screamed.

“Improvise, adapt, overcome. Krystal just happened to embody those principles better this day, and in just an instant,” Cranky mused.

Meanwhile, on Smash Mansion’s courtyard, Krystal pointed her staff directly at the camera, swinging it behind her.

“You’re not ready yet,” she threatened as she swung it behind her, sheathing it on her back just as the splash screen declared her victory. Subject Zero meanwhile, stood in another room, arms folded.

Subject Zero was interviewed by Mister Zero first.

“Tough loss out there, she seemed to have your number.” said the scummy backstage reporter, putting his microphone up to Subject Zero who was sat against a wall.

“ I let her decide the environment. I’ve never fought against an elemental warrior before, and I failed. I need to train more,” said Subject Zero without looking at the camera, pushing himself up and walking down the tunnel.

Meanwhile, Rita ran to meet Krystal, who was breathing heavy but bore an ear to ear smile.

“Congratulations on your-“

“Oh a woman interviewer, thank the Gods,” Krystal sighed,

“That non-withstanding how-“Rita continued but was cut-off by a now yelling Krystal.

“I hope that any man who thinks they can control me was watching. I hope every man that thought they needed to protect me was watching. I will come for you McCloud and prove that it was not me holding you back, but the other way around. You’d best step up your game little boy because I will not rest until we have our encounter,” she screamed, running up the tunnel.

“Well, that was one of the easiest interviews of my life. Cranky, 9-Volt, back to you.”

As Cranky and 9-Volt bought time for the Smashers Section to settle. Elizabeth was already hugging Subject Zero, who had knelt to greet her. Judging by the grin on Subject Zero’s face, the little girl was probably showering her with praise.

But Krystal could not care an iota.

Instead, she glared out at the crowd that was clapping out of politeness, instead of rushing to greet her like the other winners had received. A few, like Samus, Fox, and Falco refused to clap at all, arms crossed in their seats, McCloud visibly pouting.

 _What a jealous little bitch,_ Krystal smirked to herself as she took her seat.

“Haha, Krystal stole your victory pose didn’t she bro?” she heard Dante laugh from the middle of the room.

Krystal snapped over to the source of the noise, only to see the icy blue eyes of Vergil staring at her.

“ Uh, bro? Earth to Vergil?” asked Dante, snapping his fingers in front of Vergil

Krystal and Vergil snapped their gaze away, Krystal embarrassingly retreating to her seat, while Vergil hissed unintelligible curses at Dante.

The randomizer had been in full swing for a few seconds now, each Smasher glued to the television in anticipation of who would be the next two Smashers to step into the ring.

**“LITTLE MAC VERSUS ROSALINA AND LUMA!”**

Sure enough, Little Mac shadow boxed while a Luma pirouetted across Rosalina’s outstretched arms and shoulders, striking a ballerina’s ending pose while Rosalina put up a hand to cover a giggle as the gifs froze in place.


	43. Round 1: Little Mac vs Rosalina and Luma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Duel Tournament veterans step up for their shot at redemption, it's Little Mac vs. Rosalina and Luma!

**Round 1: Little Mac vs Rosalina and Luma**

Mac’s graphic of him shadow boxing played first. The pre-recorded footage of Little Mac that appeared next earned some snickers in the Smashers’ Box of Smash Stadium. He sat in a beige three-piece suit, the WVBA title belt slung over his shoulder, a look that struck most of the Smashers as odd, as he was seldom seen wearing anything but a tanktop and workout shorts.

“My name is Mackenzie Lincoln-Lewis, but you can call me Little Mac,” said the boxer, flashing an awkward smile at Nikki, who was just behind the camera.

“So what have you been up to lately,” asked the voice of Nikki, “When you were last here, the WVBA had reorganized, and as a result, anyone could challenge for your title, and then you had your Smash tryout against Donkey Kong.”

“Right,” Mac nodded, “Then…the Duel tournament happened, then I was told if I lost three fights I’d be forced into retirement.”

“Yeah,” sighed a now mournful sounding Nikki, “I heard the bad news. Bald Bull handed you your last loss, right?”

“What, are they banging or somethin’?” Ryuji asked as the Smashers watched live, causing Makoto to elbow him in the ribs.

Little Mac nodded, a grin on his face, “Yeah, but Alice, my wife, meeting the present-day board members of the Telro-Boxer organization, somethin’ she founded like 50 years in the future, meaning that she was installed as CEO and we were got all of her stock options. So we became billionaires basically overnight, and then I went back home and bought majority ownership of the WVBA got to keep this ole World Circuit Belt as a memorial belt, and things have been peachy.”

“So, with that in mind, the people wanna know, why are you, a retired boxer turned billionaire back?”

“Well, Smash is kinda my last piece of business. I curb-stomped by that blue bastard.”

“Megaman?”

“Cuz of his stupid stage gimmicks,” Mac seethed. Now I have an opportunity to make it right. I’ve been training almost constantly, figuring out new ways to compensate for just bein’ a regular dude from the Bronx in this pileup of gods and superheroes an’ crap.”

“What do you think of Rosalina?”

Mac smirked, “I like her a lot actually, the way she treats her Lumas is more or less how my wife treats her robots, very mother-like ya know? But I gotta get past the first round, I gotta.”

“Hey Mac, you done in there? We gotta change into yer costume,” shouted the muffled voice of Doc Lewis from beyond the conference room’s door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute Doc,” Mac called back.

Next was Rosalina and Luma’s graphic, followed by her sitting in the interview chair with a Luma eagerly hovering above her.

“Hello everyone, my name is Rosalina, and this is Luma,” she said, waving to the camera.

As Luma used one of his stubby arms to mirror Rosalina’s wave, Nikki piped in, “So, you and Little Mac both lost in your first matches the last tournament, but you won the pre-match against Team Fire Emblem with your comrades from Team Mario to get byes into the first round. With no such advantage this time, how will you approach Little Mac?”

“Much like last year’s tournament, taking care of my Lumas is my top priority. While I can say I was completely overwhelmed in my first tournament, that’s not true this time. However, I understand Little Mac has been training most diligently. All I can say is best of luck to him, and we will see what happens when we get on stage.”

All eyes were on Cranky and 9-Volt now, “Wow, what a nice woman,” sighed 9-Volt dreamily.

As Quinn battled back the intrusive thought of giving the strange yellow hatted kid a swirly as he watched, Cranky crowed, “Get yer hormones in check boy! She ain’t been trainin’!”

“Regardless,” hissed 9-Volt, “It isn’t our job to come up with predictions. Let’s take it up to Futaba Sakura with the predictions. Oracle?”

Futaba appeared on-screen next, a grin on her face, “Ah nostalgia. Mario Galaxy was the first game I ever played, so I gotta go with Rosalina based on that alone. Her array of god powers is just icing on the cake.”

“Thanks, Futaba,” Cranky said as the camera was back on the commentary booth now. Let’s take it live to the entrances.

Shulk silently pointed to Rosalina and Luma, then jerked this thumb back to Tunnel A. He pointed at Little Mac and Doc Lewis, pointing them in the direction of Tunnel B. Rosalina and Luma simply teleported away. Little Mac stood up, disrobing his hoodie, revealing a blue tanktop with American flag patterned shorts. Doc Lewis passed him a hanger, which had a matching American Flag patterned vest on it, before unveiling an American Flag tophat from a special carrying case. Lewis affixed the vest and jacket to Mac’s body as the two went down the corridor. When both competitors were at the entrance to the tunnel, Rosalina made her entrance to a soft, orchestral piece.

“What you’re hearing now is one of Rosalina’s favorite classical music pieces, a piece whose original name is lost to time. It has since been renamed ‘Rosalina in the Observatory’” Cranky explained.

“Meh,” 9-Volt shrugged, “Never been much a fan of classical music,”

“You Generation Z kids and your tasteless ears!” scolded Cranky Kong.

“You called me a millennial literal minutes ago,” deadpanned 9-Volt, his expression vacant.

“Boy, I’m from the greatest generation, and if I say you’re a freakin’ xenomorph, that’s what you are!”

“Oh my God…” moaned 9-Volt.

“Now you’re being blasphemous! Last time I checked it’s the Seven Stars that make the dream work where I come from! You know it all Diamond City…”

Cranky’s rant was cut off by Mac’s entrance. As the funk music hit, Little Mac moonwalked out, moonwalking in place, only whipping around when the music hit.

_Living in America  
Eye to eye, station to station  
Living in America  
Hand to hand, across the nation  
Living in America  
Got to have a celebration  
Rock my soul _

Mac had done a slow, shuffling strut to the beat, doing the splits as the verse changed. The entire stadium erupted at this.

_Smokestack, fatback  
Many miles of railroad track  
All night radio, keep on runnin' through  
Gon' rock 'n' roll your soul_

Little Mac had been strutting, throwing in the sprinkler, however, as he got to stage, he did a handstand, which caused a shriek of applause. Even Rosalina applauded him, with Luma trying his best to clap with starry nub arms.

“And that entrance was based off James Brown’s song from the motion picture _Rocky IV_ ,” explained 9-Volt.

“Well, if Little Mac is gonna go out as quick as Creed did to Drago, he might as well steal his other gimmicks, right?” joked Cranky.

“WILL YOU STOP!” wailed 9-Volt.

The music stopped, and Mills Frames spoke up, “The following contest is the next match in Round 1 of The Ultimate tournament! The winner of this match will face either Miss Trainer or Megaman in the next round. Introducing in the corner to my left, from the Mario Universe, they are The Cosmic Travelers, the duo of Rosalina and Luma!”

Rosalina waved while the yellow Luma accompanying her took a theatrical bow atop her head. The crowd cheered Rosalina, but the sight of a cute Luma being cute electrified the crowd even more

“And introducing in the corner to my right, from the Punch-Out Universe, the Bruiser from the Bronx Little Mac!”

Little Mac simply raised his fist to the roar of approval from most of the crowd, although as the cheers subsided, a few pockets of laughter could be heard, likely from hecklers who only managed to get their material across to the section upon which they sat.

“If Little Mac wins the coin toss, the stage will be The Boxing Ring,” Mills explained, “If Rosalina and Luma win the coin toss, the stage will be the Comet Observatory. Call it!”

“Tails!” shouted Rosalina.

Mills flipped the coin, calling the result as the coin came to a rest.

“Heads! The stage will be The Boxing Ring! Rules are two stocks, items all, low. Smashers, are you ready?”

Little Mac held out a gloved fist, which Rosalina and Luma simultaneously bumped. The two were teleported away.

**Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low**

**Stage: Boxing Ring**

**Music “Punchout Medley” by Gametal**

Little Mac appeared first, disrobing of his outer clothes, leaving only his tanktop, gloves, shorts, and boots. He breathed in. The cheap cigar smells. The inexplicable smell of piss. The taunts of ravenous working-class New Yorkers. This was a WVBA arena alright. He was jarred from his bliss by Rosalina and Luma swooping in in a pink, starry flourish.

**3**

**2**

**1**

**GO!**

Little Mac ran forward, clocking Rosalina with a downward clubbing blow as soon as she was in range. Not prepared for such ferocity, the Cosmic Princess slumped forward, the ropes being her only support, her eyes already glassy as she fell. Mac delivered a horizontal sweeping blow to her legs which took her feet out from under her, sending her over the top rope and down onto the stage below. Immediately, he felt something cover his eyes, thrashing to get it off, and feeling something fleshy under his fist. The thing squirmed away as soon as he applied an iota more pressure. As Little Mac regained his faculties, he found himself turned around, staring down the Luma, whose eyes were half squinted in anger, doing the world’s goofiest ‘put ‘em up’ stance.

“Alright little guy, you asked for it,” Mac growled.

The star skirted around his early attempts at soft jabs. As Mac became angrier he started to use more powerful clubbing blows similar to the one that originally stunned Rosalina, the only difference was that his offense against the Luma saw him punching the ground outright, Luma was peppering him with jagged strikes from his pointy star nubs as it dodged. As Mac resumed his fighting stance to anticipate what the odd space creature would do next, it launched into the air, delivering a hard straight punch. Mac’s head cocked to the side. Luckily, this wasn’t hard enough to blur his vision, so he was able to see Rosalina on the outside of the ring waving her wand as a conductor might wave their baton.

Mac shook his head, _I shoulda known,_ he thought.

Mac dropped his guard to his side, throwing a straight punch. The Luma latched onto his face, just as he predicted. Mac turned around and uppercut the Luma off him. As the now-bewildered alien spun cartoonishly in the air. Mac hit as weak a Straight Lunge as he could muster which sent the nearly weightless baby star flying. Mac ran after it, closing the distance Best case scenario, quickly reasoned the boxer, the Luma would clock Rosalina like a fastball from a New York Met.

But, as Doc had always said, best-laid plans often go awry.

The Luma disappeared in a puff of smoke. Mac could feel a gush of wind blasting for him. Getting his arm up and bracing for a Slip Counter, Rosalina came into contact to clock him with her wand, but Mac was able to absorb the impact and smack Rosalina with yet another hard blow to the body. Mac readied his fist for another punch, but a green Luma appeared, latching onto his fist, killing all momentum he had had from the punch. Rosalina jumped to the other side of the ring, the Luma obediently following. Mac again closed the distance only to be met with a burst of rainbow star-shaped fireworks from one of the Luma’s top corners. Now temporarily blinded, Mac lashed out, throwing a fist at the Luma as hard as he could. The blow probably would have sent both princess and child flying if Rosalina hadn’t parried the blow just as Luma was set to make contact. Mac went for his patented sweeping leg punch again, but Rosalina teleported behind him, which only caused Mac to swing in a full 360 degrees with his sweeping punch, capping Rosalina at the ankles.

“Ooooh, and a game of chess is brought to an end by some unorthodox pugilism from Little Mac!” Cranky bellowed as Little Mac hit a Side Haymaker to Luma to finally separate the Cosmic Travelers.

“Well, getting your knees broken brings an end to most games of chess I’ve played!” quipped 9-Volt.

“Son I have pairs of underwear older than you, keep yer smart mouth to yerself,”

“Jesus Christ old man it’s match five.”

“And you’re being blasphemous again. The nerve o’ you city folk!”

“Out on Nintendo DS at this very moment!”

Cranky chuckled, “Okay, that was funny,”

Mac grimaced as Rosalina called Luma back over to her. The duo jumped into the air, propelling downward some magical ringlet each time they did, the cosmic energy searing Mac’s skin. The childlike giggles of the Luma made his muscles shake, his face redden with anger.

“STOP MOCKING ME!” he roared.

He hooked the air as hard as he could, sending them both astray. The Luma flopped through the air, landing with a gnarly clang on the lighting fixture above them, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Rosalina however, was able to control her flight path, spiraling down to the entrance ramp. Little Mac attempted to clear the ropes with a jump but undershot it. Something about these towing cables combined with Smash physics meant that they propelled whoever jumped on them with such height that it would make the most dazzling pro wrestler green with envy. Mac flew into the air, flailing at first, but controlling his body. Rosalina watched him come down with a bemused look on her face. Mac groaned. This was a slow and straight to pitch to her, and he was the unlucky baseball. She leaped into the air, unleashing another cosmic ring, but Mac had blocked out the pain by then and was able to control his fall back to the ring. Mac raised his guard, above his head, and Rosalina, once confident in her flying stride, was now jumping. On the third jump, Mac primed another high hook, this time feeling his fist well up with fire. The hook connected with Rosalina's flesh on the jaw, her entire visage lined with fire for a split second, and then cartoonish soot.

“I think she fears the punch” cackled Porky to the Smashers as he was trying to reach the popcorn that had been dumped into the tube of his spider mech.

“Nah, she’s got a plan,” Quinn barked without looking away from the TV.

“What, you got a crush on the freak?” snapped Porky.

Lucario growled, but Altair spoke up, “Rosalina is an unorthodox tactician. I have no doubt she has a plan,”

As Quinn mulled over the idea of if he actually did have a crush on her, he could’ve sworn he saw Altair wink at him out of the corner of his cowl.

Meanwhile, back at the boxing ring, another Luma had appeared as she fell towards the entrance ramp. She leaped back into the air only to get hit with yet another firey hook by Mac. Rosalina floated atop the lighting fixture. Mac jumped into the air, using his Rising Uppercut technique to get to the top of the fixture himself. He would’ve missed the jump had Rosalina not backhand slapped the Brooklynite in midair making sure he could find refuge atop the structure. Just as Mac assumed his stance atop the rickety rafters, Rosalina jumped through a gap. As Mac followed, Rosalina executed her second jump in midair, using her Launch Star ability to give her an easy ride to the lighting truss Mac jumped into the air, hoping to try the double jump into Rising Uppercut move to meet Rosalina and Luma at the pass again, but a thought occurred to Mac, and he planted his feet firmly in the middle of the ring.

“You tryna to tire me out? You ain’t the first to try that an’ lose,” Mac growled.

Rosalina rubbed her chin in thought, “I suppose I’m not. Perhaps a more direct approach is in order.”

Mac raised an eyebrow as the princess in the sky-blue dress floated down to his level _Am I talkin’ to my lawyer or am I in a fight?_ Mac wondered to himself, bemused.

As Rosalina floated down, an assist trophy appeared on the leftmost apron of the ring.

“DAMN IT!” cursed Mac, knowing full well Rosalina would beat him to it.

Rosalina cast a wide-eyed glance behind her, floating leisurely to the Assist Trophy. Picking up the mystery being’s prison by the base, she held it aloft. From nowhere, an entire stage appeared, with two Inklings, one green, and one pink, atop it.

“Surprise!” they cheered in warbled, Inkling accented English.

“Oh my! I didn’t realize we were gonna get a Squid Sisters concert here and now Cranky!” cheered 9-Volt.

“Yep, because the camera has to be on them, the blast zone will close in on them. Pure celebrity-based egotism in my opinion,” Cranky growled arrogantly.

As the adrenaline-pumping guitars of Gametal were shut-out by the number 1 song in the Inkopolis pop charts, the blast zone, the encroaching black void, that signified out of bounds, crept inward. However, to the audience in the stadium and at home, all that was happening was that the camera was panning closer. Rosalina had been hanging back near the blast zone, hoping the Assist Trophy would do something to slop more damage onto Little Mac while she watched leisurely. As soon as she and the new Luma noticed what was happening, they flew horizontally as fast as they could away from the blast zone. Little Mac, however, had encountered the likeness of the Squid Sisters in training. He knew what was coming. Using the precious seconds that that knowledge had bought him, he prepped a Straight Lunge. Rosalina jumped into the ring. So focused on her escape was the space-faring princess that she didn’t see what was right in front of her face until it was too late. Mac lunched forward, his fist searing red with energy. Like a feather in a tsunami’s gusts, Rosalina rocketed towards the blast zone, netting Mac the first KO

**Little Mac: 2  
Rosalina and Luma: 1**

Just as Mac began to cockily shuffle his feet to the upbeat tones of the Squid Sisters, Rosalina, now accompanied by a red Luma, leaped off the revival platform. A sweep that used both of her legs and a punch from the Luma was enough to send Mac’s unprepared form into the Blast Zone.

**Little Mac: 1**

**Rosalina and Luma: 1**

“And just like that, we’re tied!” announced 9-Volt.

“I think what we’ve got here is two defensive fighters, and the loser’ll be the Smasher that drops his guard next,” Cranky thought aloud.

The Squid Sisters had finished their salvo, the music duties were once again given to Gametal’s shredding guitars, and Little Mac jumped off the platform, chuckling, “Alright lady, ya got me,”

Rosalina giggled, “I’m glad you’re in good humor about it. That move took a significant bit of training to pull off.”

“I’ll bet, but I’m just sayin’ everybody gets one,”

Rosalina raised an eyebrow, “I’ll keep that in mind. Now, shall we?”

Just as Mac raised his fists, a box appeared between them. All three competitors grabbed at it, with Little Mac winning that particular test of strength. Rosalina and Luma leaped away, both wanting to avoid being thrown with the box. Unfortunately, the only purpose that served was to have the box thrown _at_ them. A Sticky Bomb, a seed from a Healing Plant, and a Smoke Bomb fell out of the shards of the box. Rosalina immediately scooped up the Smoke Bomb and tossed it at mac. The wet, sticky chalk-like substance latched onto him as a grey smoke enveloped his entire being. Regardless, Mac bolted forward, scooping up the Sticky Bomb and throwing it onto Rosalina’s back, who had turned to do a cocky ballet spin for the crowd.

“How?” balked Rosalina as soon as the chewing gum-esque substance made contact with her dress.

“If you wanna learn how to see through smoke, hit up a hookah bar in Brooklyn with me some time,” chided Mac.

But Rosalina wasn’t paying attention. She had grabbed the Healing Seed, the Sticky Bomb had exploded, and the seed was sucking up the damage second by second. Rosalina pivoted her course abruptly, using a Launch Star to vault over the ring entirely to opposite ends of the entrance ramp. Mac went into position for a Slip Counter, expecting some sort of assault through the haze, but nothing came. Mac grinned ear to ear.

 _If I can’t see her, that means she can’t see me either,_ thought the boxing champion.

Mac caught her flush on the jaw with a straight punch. Rosalina was a mere shove from the blast zone. Mac went for another punch, but the punch earlier had given away his position, allowing Rosalina to dodge it. It was at this moment the Smoke Bomb spewed the last of its smoke, and Mac was in the intergalactic princess’ sights, clear as day. Rosalina pivoted her upper body mid horizontal flight like a dolphin to send Mac flying a few inches off the ground. As Mac jumped backward to get out of range of the dangerous duo, he happened to glance over at the audience, most of whom were pointing excitedly at the lighting truss. Little Mac landed in the center ring, glancing up through the holes in the fixture, just barely making out a Smash Ball. Rosalina had seen it too, pivoting upward to land on the trust. Mac mouthed a string of curses, jumping not once, but twice, and going through the motions of a Rising Uppercut in some vain hope to either hit the Smash Ball or clear the weaving square of a structure that Rosalina and Luma stood so delicately atop. He made contact with the Smash Ball, but Rosalina had somehow slipped away at the last second, winking at him as the two crossed paths in the air. Rosalina smacked Mac upside the jaw with two palms, as if she was hiking a volleyball into the air. They gave him the air time he needed, and he found himself standing high above the center ring, blinding lights impeding the squared circle below. Little Mac caught of glimpse of Rosalina jumping about rather lazily, laughing and giggling with her Luma companion. Two thoughts tore at Mac’s mind. Stay and work over the Smash Ball, or serve up a knuckle sandwich as a post-game treat to this game of Ring Around the Rosey he saw before him. Mac’s inner voice, which over the years had just become the voice of Doc Lewis, screamed at him to keep on the Smash Ball.

 _I caught her off focus last stock, who’s to say I can’t do it again?_ Mac thought, putting the final stamp on his current action.

Mac dove off of the lights, running towards Rosalina, who simply jumped for the unattended Smash Ball, cracking it open with a lazy kick.

“STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID!” Mac cursed.  
The lights above them shut off, and the monolithic metal scaffold came flying down towards him. Mac jumped, hitting a Rising Uppercut, thankful for sliding through one of the holes in the gride as he felt the metal brush past him. He felt his fist tap Rosalina’s foot as she fell to the ground just above him. The underdog could fail anger welling within him. He was gonna lose, and all he had to blame was his stupid-ass self. Both were in the ring now. Mac roared, flailing his fists as soon as these cosmic goofs were in range, hoping that something, anything would connect and give him s fighting chance. Instead, Rosalina saw an opening in Mac’s rage-drunken guard, grabbing him by the tanktop.

“You fought me more competently than I ever would’ve expected. Fare thee well, Little Mac,” she whispered, her voice deadly serious.

The Luma unleashed a volley of punches that would make Captain Falcon’s famous jab look slower than traffic after a Giants game. Mac felt himself flying towards the center of the ring. Rosalina was on top of him and used her strange dolphin-esque body check to knock him a smidgeon further into the air.

“GRAND STAR! she called.

A second later, Mac felt the supersonic bursts of energy sear his every being as a star appeared. The star grew and grew, amplifying the blasts that protruded outward. Rosalina wasn’t in range, sitting back leisurely as the Grand Star did its job. Mac could pivot around freely in Smash’s gravity, despite the pain. He’d been experimenting against Cruel Smash level training dummies just to see how much control he had over his trajectory at any given time.

_Gotta do this, just right.,_ Mac hissed mentally through the pain.

But he was about to school the Smashers in downward momentum! Just as The Grand Star exploded, Mac took advantage of the free air a millisecond beforehand to launch into a Jolt Haymaker. As he was already headed down anyway, the Grand Star’s explosion sent him in that direction anyway, down, and safely to the ring. The lighting in the arena came back to normal, only for Rosalina to see Mac squatted on the ground. As soon as Mac saw the shocked recognition on the platinum blonde's face, Mac felt his pain drift away, the throbbing moving all towards his dominant fist. It was time. Mac bolted to her completely open frame with a Star Uppercut, sending Rosalina to the top of the blast zone!  


**LITTLE MAC WINS!  
**“UNBELIEVABLE!” Cranky screeched, “AT 135 PERCENT DAMAGE! MAC MANAGED TO TANK A FINAL SMASH USING THE GRAVITY IN THE ARENA!”

“Little Mac has clearly put a ton of training into not just dishing out the damage this time, but taking damage,” 9-Volt explained, much calmer than Cranky but still in visible awe, “And I think he’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with!”

Little Mac, meanwhile, was in the Smash Mansion courtyard. Before the camera drones were upon them, Lewis strapped the belt around Mac’s waist. The cameras greeted them just as he did. Lewis quickly raised Little Mac’s gloved hand in victory, nearly lifting him off the ground.

“You’ve got what it takes Mac,” encouraged the portly trainer as the splash screen declared him the winner once and for all.

The two were warped back into the tunnel, where Mister Zero was waiting for them, “Champ, what…?”

“MY BOY MAC JUST SURVIVED THE DEATH STAR BLOWIN’ UP OR SOME SHIT! NO QUESTIONS!” hollered Doc, nearly dragging a bashful yet winded Little Mac up the tunnel.

Now the cameras were on Rosalina and Luma. The Luma had a worried expression on its near-featureless face, while Rosalina’s face bore a smirk.

“Rosalina, what happened out there?”

“Simple, I underestimated the base, human form, despite the fact that’s what I once was myself. Mac took everything into account as a good tactician should, I must dwell on this, excuse me,” she stated, her and Luma teleporting up the tunnel.

When Mac and Doc emerged to the seating area for Smashers, he heard a caterwauling of noise, Amazement, demands to teach him what he had done, grumpy shouts from the villain. But Doc’s voice towered over them all.

“Y’ALL’RE JUST AS BAD AS THE SPORTS REPORTERS! SIT THE HELL DOWN! I GOTTA UNGLOVE MY BOY HERE!”

Except for the squealing of a Luma who did a not-so-subtle job at wiping away Rosalina’s tears, the arena was quiet for the randomizer.

**“PIT VS META-KNIGHT!”** Cranky and 9-Volt announced together.

“Hey, that’s me!” cheered Pit, soaring down Tunnel B.

“You can do it Pit! Do it for me!” Palutena shouted after him.

“Hey! You’re supposed to go down Tunnel A.” Shulk shouted far too late, “Eh, sod it. Meta-Knight, you’re in Tunnel B now, ROB, radio down to control, let ‘em know about the change.”

As ROB droned out his affirmatives, Meta-Knight simply let out a grunt of disapproval, enveloping himself in his cap to teleport down the tunnel.


	44. Round 1: Pit vs. Meta-Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two inaugural members of the Brawl class clash swords! It's Pit vs. Meta-Knight!

**Round 1: Pit vs Meta-Knight**

**“Take 1,”** the screen blared as it cut to Pit in the interview hot seat, an ear-to-ear smile on his face.

“My name is Pit, AKA Big Daddy Pit-Pin.”

**“Take 2”**

“I’m Pit, the Bombastic Biatch of Broccoli,”

**“Take 3”**

“I’m Pit, it’s dot com!”

“Remind me to have ROB limit your internet access,” Nikki grumbled

“No! How will I catch the next fan e-mail sketch?” Pit bellowed, suddenly worried.

**“Take 6”**

“I’m Pit, Palutena’s precious consistently commendable simp,” Pit motored on.

“Ya know what, accurate enough,” announced a furious Nikki

Meanwhile, in the Smashers Box, the entire room erupted into laughter, save Palutena who had blushed an unhealthy red, and Dark Pit, clutching his stomach in pain.

“Man, I’d love to see the ones considered too hot for TV,” Travis wheezed through labored breaths.

“I can arrange that for a fee,” Mario said with a very obvious wink in Travis’s direction.

“So what?” should I talk to you after the matches?”

Mario nodded turning back to the TV, which had just finished playing a sizzle reel of Pit’s best accomplishments.

“Me and Meta-Knight were the first newcomers to the Brawl scene, but we never got to fight. I’m looking forward to it!”

“Anything to say to Meta-Knight?” asked Nikki.

Pit clenched his jaw, pursing his lips, rubbing his chin in thought, “May the best man win! This could be the year for either of us to have a stand-out performance, we have to try our best!”

Meta-Knight’s standalone pose appeared next. Whereas Pit’s had featured a million-dollar smile and a goofy ‘V’ hand symbol for victory, Meta-Knight simply turned back to the camera, not acknowledging it.

“The angel dishonors this whole concept,” grumbled Meta-Knight from the interview hot seat earlier that morning. "You would think as a warrior of heaven, he would take his job a degree more seriously.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just been informed that no one can find Meta-Knight so, for the first time in Smash Brothers history we have a win by forfeit, which goes to Luigi,” shook the voice of 9-Volt, as Luigi disinterestedly motored through his poses with a worried expression on his face.

“That was the Brawl tournament, In the Duel tournament, I lost in the quarter-finals to the man who would win.”

“Wouldn’t you say that takes away an advantage though? It’s proven you can excel in these tournaments,” asked Nikki.

“In a simple manner of speaking yes. It proves that the more opponents I face, the more motivated I become. Pit is just the first step to prove what I already know I am, the best.”

Pit launched out of the right tunnel before the commentary team could say anything else. Meta-Knight similarly teleported to center stage without a word.

“We’re forgoing entrances it looks like,” stammered Cranky, “Whaddya think Futaba before this two winged menaces tear each other apart?”

“Behold my power,” Futaba said in a goofy Meta-Knight impression as the live feed cut to her, “Nah, but seriously, I won so many matches with a well-placed Guardian Orbitar or two when The Thieves play together, I have to go for Pit.”

“Alright, let’s throw it down to Mills,” 9-Volt said.

“The following contest is a Round 1 Match in the Smash Ultimate Tournament! The winner will face either Chrom or Mister Game and Watch in the next round! Introducing in the corner to my left, from the Kirby Universe, Meta-Knight!”

The response for an unflinching Meta-Knight was mixed. His home section erupted in cheers while the rest of the arena booed.

“No love for the ultra-serious warrior of Dreamland I guess,” shrugged 9-Volt.

“Weak-willed souls,” Cranky grumbled, “Everything's gotta be funny to keep the young people’s attention.”

“And in the corner to my right, from the Kid Icarus Universe, Pit!”

Pit flashed his big smile, striking his ‘V for Victory’ pose to what seemed like the delighted squeals of millions of teenage girls in the arena.

“On the other hand,” began 9-Volt, “Pit...”

“Is pretty, but I’ve seen Gnawty who’s been hit on the head six times by my son with more intelligence,”

“That’s certainly your opinion,” grumbled 9-Volt, to which Cranky just laughed.

Mils began his usual explanation, “If Pit wins the coin toss, the stage will be Skyworld. If Meta-Knight wins the coin toss, the stage will be the Halberd. Call it gentlemen, heads or tails?”

“Wait what?” asked Pit, confused.

“Heads,” Meta-Knight growled.

“HEADS,” the referee declared as the coin landed heads side up, “The stage will be Halberd! Rules are two stocks, items all, low. Smashers, are you ready?”

Both competitors nodded, disappearing.

**Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low**

**Stage: Halberd**

**Music “Meta-Knight’s Revenge”**

Pit descended from heavenly light, while Meta-Knight simply appeared in a flourish of his cape, threateningly extending the wings towards Pit.

**“3**

**2**

**1”**

GO!

“Hey Meta-Knight, before we start, can we do one thing?” Pit pleaded.

“Why do I always end up in these kinds of situations?” bemoaned Meta-Knight, nodding to Pit, “Certainly, if you will be quiet and treat the rest of fight seriously,”

“Serious as Sam,” Pit nodded, holding three fingers in the air, “Three! Two! One!”

Pit began to spin the Sacred Bow of Palutena so fast, it resembled a helicopter blade.

“WHADDYA KNOW!” bellowed Pit.

Meta-Knight grunted confusedly, “Your old attack from the Brawl tournament? Why do that, of all things?”

“Gotta sell the t-shirts somehow,” Pit said with a big smile, which faltered as he turned to the camera, “Please buy one. I accidentally paid another 500 grand for the warehouse because I forgot to turn off the automatic payment. Please.”

“Enough,” Meta-Knight barked, snapping Pit’s attention back to him, “Are you quite done?”

“Yep!” Pit nodded.

“So then, shall we?”

Again, Pit nodded, and the two charged towards one another, clashing forward in the center of the stage. Pit heaved Meta-Knight up into the air, slashing the two short swords above him, at Meta-Knight’s ankles. Meta-Knight responded with a cleave downward at Pit’s spikey hair, which sliced off the messiest, longest strands of it. Pit yelped as Meta-Knight tossed his cape over himself, disappearing, warping to the platform above them, attempted another cleave, but Pit unleashed a flourish of short sword slashes which overwhelmed the knight, sending him into the air.

“And so the old adage goes, don’t mess with a pretty boy’s hair,” Cranky joked.

“More like…don’t mess with a skilled warrior,” 9-Volt corrected.

“Eh, I see more of a pretty boy than a warrior in him,” Cranky snapped as Pit had jumped to meet Meta-Knight on the platform, the two clashing swords.

“He fought the warriors of Hell,” 9-Volt shouted.

“Helter Skelter,” Cranky Kong guffawed, “If he were serious about it, he wouldn’t smile so much!” 

Meta-Knight had teleported behind Pit, but Pit had seen it coming, blocking the jab of his sword. Pit kneed the blob in his metal mask. Pit’s calcified knees made a mighty clang off of the surface, sending Meta-Knight briefly staggering backward, Pit summoned the Guardian Orbitars slamming into Meta-Knight with them. Meta Knight managed to slash Pit in the back with a quick teleport, but upon teleporting to stand in front of his opponent, he was met with yet another Guardian Orbitar uppercut. As Meta-Knight righted himself in midair, floating softly to the ground, an Assist Trophy appeared. Pit let forward an “Oooh!” of excitement, retreating to grab the capsule. Just as Pit held it aloft, revealing Dillon, Meta-Knight charged forward with a running kick to the ankles, poking Pit upward as he was thrown into the air with two back-to-back upward jabs of Galaxia. The automated likeness of Dillon launched forward in a hard-shelled ball, but the captain of the Meta-Knights channeled his chi, parrying the blow, going right into the Mach Tornado, knocking pit aloft.

“Hah!” Cranky proclaimed, “Meta-Knight is like a shark that smells blood! And that blood is Pit being an idiot!”

Dillon used his rough armadillo exterior to grind against Meta-Knight and lay on the damage. Meanwhile, Pit had called for the Wings of Icarus to boost onto the stage. Meta-Knight could track to angel’s predictable flight path with ease, having seen it in archival footage several times before. Jumping into the air to meet him, Meta-Knight slashed him upward twice. Pit attempted to lunge at him with another short sword strike, but Meta-Knight went into his Mach Tornado state once again, overpowering the captain of Palutena’s guard. Now it was Meta-Knight’s turn to lunge forward, only to fall into a quick yet powerful one-two slash of The Sacred Bow’s disconnected blades, Meta-Knight once again righted himself in the air, waiting out the last scrounges of Dillon’s frantic, pointless offense, before he disappeared. As he landed on the platform that by now orbited the Halberd, he saw his error in tactics. As he had mapped Pit’s flight path in his head early, Pit had mapped his, hitting him with an all too familiar flurry of blade slashes from below. Meta-Knight saw the top blast zone, and, instead of righting himself too obviously, swam through the air while spiraling in a spinning motion downward, creating the illusion that he did not have control of his fall. Landing on the top platform and dropping to the stage itself when an Assist Trophy appeared. Pit picked it up under his arm, both fighters instinctually lunging forward with sword strikes. Both connected, both sent flying in opposite directions, both recovering. Meta-Knight attempted to bridge the gap with a Drill Rush, hoping to knock the assist trophy out of the angelic fighter’s hands, but Pit had already summoned the mystery partner, revealing a Chain Chomp. The chomp nibbled at Meta-Knight briefly before lashing out at nothing.

 _As a hound tends to do. I am far too lucky in this encounter, Meta_ -Knight thought.

Rolling in mid-air, Meta-Knight caught a grinning Pit by surprise, who had likely expected the Chain Chomp to do the rest of the work. Pit recovered from being launched with the Wings of Icarus once again, and once again, Meta-Knight saw right through the intended flight path, slashing as he flew down to meet the angel, and slashing him again as he fumbled through the air. Meta-Knight flapped his caped wings, looking to put the punctuation mark on the first stock of the match, but Pit battled back with yet another spell of the Wings of Icarus. Meta-Knight growled. This time, he wouldn’t let this obnoxious bug land.

“SHUTTLE LOOP!” screamed Meta-Knight.

Slashing Pit upward, then launching into a lightspeed loop-de-loop to follow up with a momentum charged second slash, Pit was mere inches away from the blast zone but gently spiraled through the air. Meta-Knight went up to meet him. Pit must have overestimated the speed at which Meta-Knight could fly, because he gave away his feint way too early, slicing downward at nothing. Meta-Knight took this opening for a second shuttle loop. This was enough to knock him into the Blast Zone, Pit’s face pressed comedically up against the camera as he slid down it into the blast zone proper, losing a stock.

**Meta-Knight: 2**

**Pit: 1**

As Meta-Knight came to rest on the ground, Pit jumped off the platform, grabbing a Pokemon Meta-Knight had been too busy following his foe with his eyes to notice. Pit lobbed the ball right at Meta-Knight, the caped defender of Dreamland taking to the air, floating towards Pit. As a Meowth appeared from the ball lobbing coins in all sorts of directions, Pit slid under Meta-Knight, hitting him with the same upward barrages of slashes as he had before, this time resulting in a trip to the top blast zone and a lost stock for Meta-Knight.

**Meta-Knight: 1**

**Pit: 1**

“And just like the last match, we see a quick loss of stock, critical for bridging the gap in these shorter matches,” Cranky explained.

“Yeah! Except this time, Pit used a Pokeball to bait out his opponent!” added 9-Volt.

Pit and Meta-Knight met each other on the top platform. Pit flew high, while Meta-Knight stayed planted on the ground, Meta-Knight got pit with an upward jab of Galaxia, Pit retaliating with a downward slice of the Sacred Bow of Palutena. Another rolling aerial sword strike was successful Meta-Knight, but a sweeping slice at Meta-Knight’s short legs knocking him off balance. Rolling underneath Pit, Meta-Knight jumped into the air, angel and knight back-to-back, Meta-Knight spinning in mid-air and slicing Pit in the back, Meta-Knight slid backward to try the move again, but Pit was ready, slashing Meta-Knight with a lightspeed combination. A box appeared as Meta-Knight stood up from yet another unceremonious meeting with the ground. Meta-Knight blindly grabbed the Assist Trophy. As he held it aloft, he saw what Pit had retrieved from the box, a Home-Run Bat, and he had it cocked back, his entire body brimming with the energy for a grand slam.

“DAMN!” Meta-Knight shouted

But no shouts could prevent what happened next. The full force of a home run attack slammed into Meta-Knight, knocking him off stage.

**“PIT WINS!”**

On the courtyard, Pit struck his familiar pose again, this time choosing to shout “Victory!” with the hand symbol and goofy smile as a splash screen cemented Pit’s win in history.

Rita was interviewing Meta-Knight, “What happened out there?” she asked.

Meta-Knight chuckled, “I overestimated Pit, which was baffling oversight on my part considering he is practically a replica of Kirby in terms of attitude. What’s more, he did me in with that last combination. Some might say he barely won, but I believe he earned that win. I wish him the best of luck,” Meta-Knight explained teleporting away.

“Woo, I barely one!” wheezed Pit before Mister Zero could even get a word out, “Meta-Knight’s a good swordsman, like, crazy good! If I hadn’t found the Homerun Bat I don’t know what woulda happened. All I know is, I’ve got Meta-Knight’s reputation on my back! Gotta do good Smasher things! Palutena damn it, woo!” Pit said, running away.

Pit ran into the Smashers Box, right into a hug from a joyous Palutena. Without thinking, she pecked him in full on the lips. The two pulled away, blushing. ‘Ooohs and ahhs ‘ filled the arena while Dark Pit vomited into a sick bag he had appeared from nowhere. As the scandalous gossip turned to screams of terror, Meta-Knight offered a nubbed hand to Pit, who shook it. Those who saw applauded the sportsmanship. The commotion died down enough for the crowd of fighters to hear who was up next.

**“DARK SAMUS VS. YOSHI!”**

Dark Samus bolted down Tunnel A to Shulk’s exasperated sigh, “ROB can you…?”

“Affirmative,” ROB said before Shulk could even finish his sentence.

Yoshi waded through the crowd as Dark Samus lashing out at the cameraman with a back fist and Yoshi chasing his tail played to indicate the next match. Hugging Mario, he then headed down Tunnel B to the abusive taunts of Ridley.


	45. Round 1: Yoshi vs. Dark Samus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of "The 12" originals faces off against an interloping echo fighter. It's Yoshi vs. Dark Samus!

**Round 1: Dark Samus vs. Yoshi**

“My name’s Yoshi, of the Yoshi tribe,” said the on-screen Yoshi in the now infamous interview hot seat.

“That’s something I always wanted to ask you,” began an off-camera Nikki. Your name is Yoshi, but your species is also called Yoshi?”

“You inherit the name when you become the chief of Yoshi Island,” said Yoshi with a shrug, “It’s like having an honorific, except it becomes your name. It’s been so long since anyone referred to me by my birth name I can’t remember it,” Yoshi said.

“Oh…” Nikki said, clearly flummoxed as she cleared her throat, “So, your tournament record...”

Yoshi chuckled, “Isn’t so good,”

“I wouldn’t say it’s ‘not good,” just that you’ve been unlucky in the first round.”

“Yeah, because all these other people are born fighters. Put up against impossible odds. Joker, for example, changed the consciousness of his whole world and uses powers gifted to him by the devil with the ease at which I eat lunch. Me? The only time I’ve ever gotten up off my ass is when the island is in danger. Every other success I’ve had is because Mario, the man I consider a son, has let his old man ride his coattails. Not anymore Nikki! Today I rise above what people think of me, and I step up and put my people on the map,”

“And I wish you the best of luck with that,” Nikki continued, “Now…Dark Samus...”

“Isn’t anything new to me. I’ve trained with Samus a few times, back in The 12, and when the veteran and newcomer cliques were real bad in the Melee era. Those other eleven are some of the people I know the best in a combat context, and Dark Samus is no exception.”

Suddenly, the camera cut to a different scene entirely. Ridley was glaring into Nikki’s camera now, Dark Samus growling and pacing behind him,

“I heard what that stupid dinosaur had to say,” hissed Ridley, his ember-like eyes glowing with sadistic joy, “Can a simple clone overcome this new, determined Yoshi? Maybe, maybe not. But Yoshi, Smashers of the congregation, have you considered that perhaps you’re not fighting a simple clone? Have you considered that you are fighting a heartless, ruthless barbarian? A being sculpted by cruelty, and fueled by rage? Or, put simply, a beast? A beast whose natural instinct is to inflict pain?”

“W-what is Dark Samus’ motivation?” asked Nikki, who was trembling in fear off camera.

Ridley cackled, “The affirmation Dark Samus seeks is her prey’s broken bones, their gnarled flesh. She does not eat or sleep, she only hunts her prey. No one will ever forget what she is about to do. Because you see, there are 100 fighters, three from my universe including myself, ten or more from Yoshi’s universe. But do you know what the most important number is Nikki?”

“W-what’s that?”

Ridley held up a single, sharpened claw an evil smile tugging at his avian maw, “One. Because Dark Samus will be the last one standing, atop a thrown of the flesh of her victims. And you will bow to the queen.”

“B-but Mister Ridley, what if it comes down to you and her?”

Ridley suddenly frowned, Dark Samus suddenly stopped pacing, glaring into the camera, a low, unending hiss escaping the Phazon creature’s throat.

“We don’t entertain hypotheticals. Remember that, or else I’ll give Dark Samus permission to do what she wants. Let’s go!”

Dark Samus bounded out of the room, a grinning Ridley following behind.

The footage cut back to Cranky and 9-Volt, both open-mouthed in horror.

“Sweet Banana Bird remind me not to meet them in a dark alley,” Cranky was the first one to compose himself.

“F-Futaba, do the t-thing,” quivered 9-Volt.

“Look, I mean, no disrespect to the old man, he gulped down more strawberry cream pie than anyone I’ve ever met, but what the hell do you think? I genuinely think Dark Samus could be unstoppable with Ridley motivating her,” she explained.

“Alright, let’s throw it down to entrances,” 9-Volt said.

Yoshi skipped merrily, down the hallway, his eyes burning with fire despite his aloof demeanor. In contrast, on the other side of the screen, Dark Samus floated with great speed down the hallway, occasionally breaking to screech and punch a wall because she could.

The green dinosaur was out first, coming out to a chorus of singing Yoshis backed by tropical sounding instruments. The stadium erupted into cheers near-unanimously

“This song,” Cranky explained, “Is a folk song about how the Yoshis saved their island from being turned into a book by Baby Bowser. It’s considered one of the best pieces of music to come out of Yoshi’s Island.”

“Folk tale? Yoshi might need a fairy tale to get himself the win.” 9-Volt shouted.

Cranky raised an eyebrow, “What’s gotten into you boy? Usually, I’m the one with quips like that.”  
“You do it to be an asshole, old man,” snapped 9-Volt. “I consider myself very realistic. And realistically, Yoshi is fighting an animal that has been given free rein to do what it wants. He’ll have to think his way out if he wants a sliver of a chance.”

The music stopped, and Dark Samus appeared, to the boos of nearly the entire stadium. Dark Samus look left, then right, snarling. She then raised her arm threateningly to the audience that towered above them.

“Cranky, it’s not gonna…” 9-Volt gasped, abject horror in his voice.

**BOOM!**

Dark Samus fired a missile at the crowd. Luckily, the invisible blast shield, put in to prevent just such a danger, absorbed the blast. Suddenly, the shock collar around Dark Samus’ neck activated, dropping the Phazon creature to her knees. Her head snapped up, glaring at Yoshi. At first, she crawled, but then stood straight, gliding towards the center of the stage, a throaty snarl emanating from her.

“The following contest is a first-round match in the Smash Ultimate Tournament! The winner will face either Kirby or Fox in the next round. Introducing first, in the corner to my left, Dark Samus!”

The crowd booed, Mills Frames continuing after it died down, “And introducing in the corner to my right, from the Mario universe, Yoshi,”

The crowd erupted into cheers, the chirps of “Yoshi” from his kinfolk the loudest of all.

“If the Yoshi wins the…” Mills continued.

Suddenly, Yoshi leaned forward, whispering something to Mills.

Mills turned away from Yoshi to radio something to the administration. Lasting a few seconds, but feeling like an eternity for the confused crowd, Mills finally turned back to him.

“Yoshi has informed me that he wishes to forfeit his right to stage selection,”

As the crowd clamored amongst itself, 9-Volt asked, “What? What could Yoshi’s rationale be? Cranky?”

“If you keep an animal in its habitat, therefore you can sus out its routine I suppose? The opposite being the old saying about a cornered animal.”

“Therefore,” Mills continued as the confusion died down, “ The stage will be Frigate Orpheon. The rules are, two stocks, items low. Smashers ready?”

Dark Samus continued to growl, while Yoshi simply nodded.

**Rules: 2 Stock, Items All Low**

**Stage: Frigate Orpheon**

**Music: Opening/Menu-Metroid Prime**

Yoshi hatched out of a green egg, Dark Samus appeared from a Phazon haze, her shock collar disappearing. 

**“3**

**2**

1 

**GO!”**

Yoshi and Dark Samus charged each other, meeting in the center of the metallic, conservatively lit stage of Frigate Orpheon, the Parasite Queen yowling at them in the background. Yoshi’s tongue lashed out, and Dark Samus’ Grapple Beam unfurled. The two grappling tools intertwined amongst each other. Both Phazon creature and dinosaur dug their feet in, in a primal tug of war for the advantage. With a mighty heave, Dark Samus pulled him towards her, grasping her free hand around Yoshi’s neck when she was in range. With one hand, it picked him up, slamming him down on the ground. Yoshi laid unmoving, splayed out. Dark Samus cocked its head to one side, examining her prey’s vulnerable form as best as its primal mind could. Grasping him by his neck again, it brought him to his feet, once again cocking its head to examine Yoshi. With an annoyed huff, Dark Samus raised up Yoshi once more. Suddenly, Yoshi bit down on Dark Samus’ knuckles, causing it to shriek in pain. Yoshi used the distraction to pummel Dark Samus with his signature Flutter Kick.

“Well, I’ll be my own uncle!” Cranky shrieked visibly much looser now, “Yoshi was playing possum!”

“Or playing Yoshi!” quipped 9-Volt.

“How many hours did it take you to think up that one last night?”

“Hey!”

With a final kick in the barrage of Flutter Kicks, Dark Samus was spent sprawling left. Yoshi followed it up with an egg toss, a green egg landing right on top of it, sending it into the air. Yoshi wants again used his tongue to suck in Dark Samus, spitting it as hard as he could at the ground, jumping into the air to follow it, and hitting it with an upward pelt of his tail. However, a small burst of Phazon infused fire, and a downward blast of the goop was enough to turn the tide. Yoshi used his momentum, however, to stall on the lowering platform to the right. Dark Samus growled impudently, firing a barrage of charge shots and missiles, which Yoshi artfully dodged. Finally closing the gap, Yoshi wants again consumed Dark Samus, spitting it into the air and backing off.

“So that’s his strategy eh? Go in between potshots and full-on combos?” Cranky observed.

“It would seem so Cranky. Although I can’t say being conservative against a dangerous opponent like Dark Samus is exactly unwise.”

Dodging more projectiles finally set Dark Samus off, letting forth a snake-like hiss, finally jumping to attack Yoshi wish a strike. However, Yoshi saw this coming and kicked Samus light enough to throw off the creature. Immediately after, a Franklin Badge appeared, which Yoshi picked up almost as soon as it materialized. Dodging more strikes and more projectiles by rolling in his Egg Shield form, finally, a missile hit the egg, deflecting back at Dark Samus. Two upward tail whips followed by letting the stunned Phazon clone fall to the ground for a measured Ground Pound. Yoshi attempted to follow it up with a headbutt, but misjudged the distance by mere inches, allowing Dark Samus to slap him with such force that the Franklin Badge fell off of him and onto Dark Samus when it grabbed the badge. Yoshi once again created distance between himself in the monster, miming as if the loss of the Franklin Badge mattered to him on a bit. Closing the gap again, jumping over a shoulder check, Dark Samus cried out in annoyance. A second shoulder check was dodged by Yoshi again. This time, however, Yoshi lashed out with his tail and using the inches the twisted version of Samus was propelled into the air to hit a Somersault kick. A Smash Ball appeared; an alarm went off as the room darkened. The stage flipped so that the center platform was now one instead of two. As Yoshi landed, Dark Samus used a screw attack to propel the volleyball-like Smash Ball into the air. Dark Samus had attempted to fire a missile to dissuade Yoshi from the Smash Ball, but a Ground Pound blocked the missile. Yoshi landed right in front of the Smash Ball, which was now lying idly on the main platform, only for Dark Samus to throw its body into it. As the Smash Ball’s power combined with the sinister Phazon, Dark Samus cocked its arm canon back, a titanic blast of Phazon enveloping the still stunned Yoshi, taking his stock.

**Yoshi: 1**

**Dark Samus: 2**

As Yoshi appeared back on stage, an Ore Club appeared. Yoshi brought it closer with his tongue. Three small tornadoes and a full-strength wallop with the Club sent Dark Samus off stage.

**Yoshi: 1**

**Dark Samus: 1**

Dark Samus wasted no time jumping off of the revival platform to fire a missile directly into Yoshi’s eyes, causing the now blinded tribal leader to drop the Ore Club. Dark Samus attempted to simply bat away Yoshi with the Ore Club, but Yoshi easily countered it with a barrage of tail jabs after a light hop into the air. Another tail jab followed up by a Ground Pound called the animal made of Phazon to drop the Ore Club. Now Yoshi grabbed it, briefly twirling it in his hands.

 _Hmm, didn’t Palutena say once that the lighter an Ore Club is, the less Tornado Power it has? Crazy thing makes a decent bludgeoning weapon, but that means I’ll only have wind powers for a short while now. Best to be conservative with it,_ thought Yoshi.

Running at Dark Samus and thrusting the Ore Club into Dark Samus, the leader of the Yoshi Tribe tracked his opponent with his eyes. He had intended to step back and fire a gust from the Ore as it landed, but once again he’d underestimated Dark Samus’ vertical leap. Sweeping a Phazon-infused pillar of fire at him, the intense flames knocked Yoshi back. As soon as his skull connected with the ground, Yoshi felt intense heat, followed by the toxic stink of Phazon come closer and closer. Finally, the source of the garish smell connected. It was a fully charge Charged Blast, a sensation he felt many times training with Samus.

 _Except, she has to charge that,_ fretted a bewildered Yoshi.

As soon as Yoshi landed, he cursed himself. Just like Meta-Knight had in the previous battle, he had taken his eye off the ball. Yoshi felt the blast of a Deku Nut before he heard the explosion. Yoshi had mere seconds to think about how fretting like an old man instead of improvising and adapting had cost him before he met the Blast Zone.

**“DARK SAMUS WINS!”**

In the Smash Mansion courtyard, Dark Samus had her back to the camera, suddenly whipping around and yanking the camera closer before the splash screen simultaneously declared its victory.

Meanwhile, Rita was interviewing Yoshi, sat against the wall, tears welling up in his eyes.

“How can either Fox or Kirby take on an animal like that?” shouted Rita, shaking with shock.

“Dark Samus is strong, but it’s an animal. It can be out-thought, out-strategized. Some of the more technical Smashers can probably pick up a duke against it. Someone better than me,” sighed Yoshi, standing up and sulking up the tunnel.

Mister Zero shook like a leaf as Dark Samus seethed into the mic, “C-c-c-congratulations on your victory.”

Using her grappling beam, Dark Samus pulled the camera closer as it had on the Courtyard.

“ **NO ONE. SURVIVES ME,** ” bellowed Dark Samus, throwing the unsuspecting camera operator into the wall behind her, skulking up the tunnel.

When Dark Samus arrived, it was met by the congratulations of Ridley and the rest of the villains. Dark Samus felt warm.

 _Is this what I want? To be surrounded by friends,_ came a rare thought for the Phazon monster.

Dark Samus growled, shoving past villains, putting the thought out of its head. Her gaze snapped to Yoshi, who was silently weeping in a group hug contested of both Phantom Thieves and the Mario contingent. Dark Samus hissed as it took its seat, Ridley trotting behind, his shrill victorious laugh echoing in the air, piercing the veil of hugs and polite applause.

“And now, it’s time for the randomizer to do its thing!” announced 9-Volt.

The screen flashed some of the remaining matches, before landing on…

**“ROB VERSUS TOON LINK!”**

Toon Link snapped up from the previous wandering his mind had been doing. Toon Link briefly took in the scene around him. The on-screen ROB raised the roof, while Toon Link flailed his sword, before tiring out. Mario and Ridley bickered over the injury to the injury to the cameraman and the fine it entailed, and the rest of the Smashers Box applauded.

“You are Tunnel B, I am in Tunnel A. Best of luck,” ROB said flatly as he departed down the tunnel.

Toon Link stood, Young Link, Zelda, and Link wading through the crowd over to him, the group engaging in a four-person fist bump as Toon waved goodbye to the rest of the Smashers as he headed down the opposite tunnel. 


End file.
